Teach Me How To Adult tackles the deep questions that help us know ourselves, and each other, a little better… how do we have better conversations? How do we grow together in our relationships, instead of apart? How do we stay optimistic when the world is a dumpster fire? Are we really in a loneliness epidemic? How do we cultivate more awe? Why are everyone’s hormones so out of whack? Is everyone having more sex than me?
Join host and writer Gillian Berner every week for expert interviews and meaningful conversations on the growth, changes, and transitions of adulthood. Wherever you are on your journey, we’re here to figure out the messiness of being human, together.
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Why You Take Everything Personally (And How To Stop Believing It’s Always About You)
Saison 6 · Épisode 404
mercredi 4 novembre 2026 • Durée 23:10
Why do we take everything so personally? Do you overthink text messages, assume someone's upset with you when they're just having a bad day, or interpret feedback as proof you're not good enough? If you constantly read into other people's behaviour and assume the worst, this episode is a must-listen.
This week, I share how I've been working on taking things less personally, managing rejection sensitivity, and overcoming the social hypervigilance that can cause us to read into every single interaction.
I explore the psychology behind why we’re so quick to perceive rejection and criticism, even when it has literally nothing to do with us.
We cover practical strategies and reframes to stop taking things personally, including how to separate facts from the stories you're telling yourself, assuming positive intent, and getting curious about the other, instead of immediately turning inward and overanalyzing.
The goal definitely isn't to stop being a sensitive person or pretend you don't have feelings (I really do believe my sensitivity is a superpower)… it's to stop interpreting every unanswered text, cancelled plan, or bad mood as evidence that you aren’t loved, accepted, or included.
Ultimately, not everything is about you—and that’s a good thing. Remembering that it’s usually not personal can free up SO MUCH mental energy and allow you to be more present in your life. You can be a sensitive person who cares deeply about your relationships without taking responsibility for every little thing people do.
Tune in to learn about:
Why some people are more sensitive to perceived rejection, criticism, and exclusion
Rejection sensitivity and social hypervigilance: why we monitor other people's moods and behaviour
The impact on taking things personally in every pillar of life
The spotlight effect and why we overestimate how much other people notice us
How to separate what actually happened from the stories and assumptions you're creating
Why we fall into mind-reading, overthinking, and rumination when we feel rejected or insecure
The power of assuming positive intent and considering other person’s circumstances
Why getting curious, asking questions, and communicating directly changes everything
How to manage emotional reactivity without suppressing your feelings
Practical questions to help challenge anxious assumptions
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ICYMI: Stuck In Dating? A Framework To Overcome Common Self-Sabotaging Patterns, with Amy Chan
Saison 6 · Épisode 403
lundi 2 novembre 2026 • Durée 07:09
If modern dating feels like an episode of Black Mirror, you're not alone. So we're throwing it back to dating advice that can help you date smarter and build healthy relationships that last.
Welcome to today’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from an episode that you might have missed.
Relationship expert Amy Chan breaks down the toxic dating patterns that can keep people from finding the relationships they want, the mistakes singles are most commonly making, and how to stop self-sabotaging your love life. Plus, Amy’s Dating Funnel framework for approaching your dating life with clarity and confidence.
Amy has been a trusted voice in modern relationships for almost two decades. She’s the author of UNSINGLE: How to Date Smarter and Create Love that Lasts (which comes out this April 28th!) and her popular first book, Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, was featured in The New York Times. She’s the founder Renew Breakup Bootcamp, the world's first heartbreak retreat, and she’s on faculty at Esalen and The Omega Institute.
How to Stop Overthinking Decisions and Trust Yourself, with Therapist Jenna Overbaugh
Saison 6 · Épisode 402
mercredi 28 octobre 2026 • Durée 01:12:08
Why is it so damn hard to make decisions? And why are we so afraid of making the wrong choice? If you overthink every option, struggle with decision anxiety, second-guess yourself, or feel like you’re always chasing 100% certainty, this episode is for you.
Whether you’re questioning your relationship, contemplating a career change, navigating a major life transition, or struggling with everyday choices, the fear of making the wrong decision can feel paralyzing. So I called in licensed therapist, Jenna Overbaugh, to talk about overcoming analysis, ending the anxiety loop that keeps us stuck in decision-making, and building the confidence and self-trust to stick to our decisions… even when we feel uncertain. My biggest takeaway? Self-trust isn't knowing you'll make the "perfect" decision — it's knowing you can handle the consequences of an imperfect one.
We explore the fantasy of the “perfect life”, why endlessly researching, analyzing, and seeking reassurance can worsen decision anxiety, how cognitive distortions can skew our perception of our options, and how to build your tolerance for uncertainty.
The goal isn't to make decisions you’ll never regret. It’s to become someone who trusts themselves to handle uncertainty, discomfort, and whatever happens next. By the end of this episode, I hope you’ll have a roadmap for developing self-trust, without waiting until you feel completely ready.
Jenna Overbaugh is an internationally recognized expert in OCD, anxiety disorders, and intrusive thoughts. She has worked at world-renowned treatment facilities, and her work reaches hundreds of thousands of people through her courses, her popular social media channels, and her podcast/Substack. Her debut book, Making Peace With A Noise Mind, is coming this February.
Tune in to learn about:
Decision anxiety and analysis paralysis: why we get stuck trying to find the perfect choice
How to overcome the fear of making the wrong decision, and choose based on your values
ICYMI: The 3 Stages Of Relationships, And How To Move From Enmeshment To Differentiation To Interdependence, with Baya Voce
Saison 6 · Épisode 401
lundi 26 octobre 2026 • Durée 12:44
Are you deep in the infatuation stage? Or is your relationship stuck in the power struggle of trying to change each other, trying to protect your independence, or falling into an avoidant-pursuer dynamic? It turns out, we all have to go through that phase. Welcome to today’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from an episode that you might have missed.
We're throwing it back to invaluable advice from renowned relationship repair expert Baya Voce, MSW, on how to move through the three stages of relationships to land in the healthy spaciousness of interdependence. We talk about the journey from infatuation, to power struggle, to disillusionment, to interdependence, with proven tools and insights for transforming conflict into deeper connection.
If you’re in love, want love, or care about love, this is the guide we all need for working towards interdependence, and creating love that lasts.
With an MSW from Columbia University, Baya specializes in couples counselling and MDMA-assisted couples therapy research, and is supervised by Esther Perel. Her work has been featured in a TED Talk, on Vice, Forbes, MTV, and ABC, and her videos on everything from boundaries, to using AI for therapy, to navigating jealousy, have been viewed by millions.
The Psychology of Trauma Responses: Freezing, Fawning, and The Unconscious Ways We Survive Traumatic Experiences
Saison 6 · Épisode 400
mercredi 21 octobre 2026 • Durée 14:16
Trigger warning: This episode discusses sexual assault, trauma, and survivor experiences. Please take care of yourself and skip this one if you need to.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the Cornell 7 case recently, and how, a decade after the #MeToo movement, we’re still seeing the same backlash, criticism, victim-blaming, and lack of understanding about what actually happens to so many people during and after a traumatic experience.
So today, in hopes of creating more compassion and understanding in how we respond to victims who experience trauma, we’re unpacking the psychology of trauma responses — and why the ways people react to fear and coercion are so often misunderstood.
We hear a lot about the fight-or-flight response, but what happens when your body freezes, shuts down, or tries to appease the threat? In this episode, we explore the two lesser-understood survival responses: freeze and fawn. Fawning is when someone tries to stay safe by placating, appeasing, or complying with a threat. Freezing is a mental or physical shutdown that can involve immobility, silence, numbness, or dissociation.
These trauma responses are not conscious choices. When someone freezes instead of fights, that isn’t evidence of consent. These are involuntary responses to perceived danger, shaped by our nervous system, past experiences, and the circumstances we find ourselves in.
Whether you’re trying to make sense of your own experience, support someone you love, or better understand the psychology of trauma responses, I hope this offers some clarity and compassion.
Tune in to learn about:
How trauma responses actually work
Why survivors of a traumatic experience may freeze, shut down, dissociate, or be unable to fight back
What fawning is, why we appease or comply when we feel threatened, and how people-pleasing can become a survival response
The shame, guilt, and self-blame that often accompanies freezing or fawning
How social conditioning around politeness and people-pleasing can shape women's responses to threatening situations
ICYMI: The Other Kind of Burnout: What To Do When Your Life No Longer Feels Like You, with Megan Hellerer
Saison 6 · Épisode 399
lundi 19 octobre 2026 • Durée 08:56
What if your burnout isn’t just a sign that you’re doing too much... but that you’re living a life that no longer feels like you?
Welcome to today’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from one of our guests that you might have missed. We explore the difference between burnout caused by overwork and the deeper exhaustion that comes from misalignment (AKA the fulfillment ache): performing a role, chasing success or following expectations that leave you disconnected from yourself.
We’re joined by career coach (to ambitious leaders like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez), author, and former Google executive Megan Hellerer to learn why the answer isn’t always to do less, and how to reconnect with the things that make you feel alive through small, low-pressure experiments.
If you feel burnt out even after taking on less and resting more, this is a much-needed reminder on how finding meaning and alignment can be the crucial missing step.
How To Feel Less Overwhelmed & Make Time For What Matters, with Time Management Expert Laura Vanderkam
Saison 6 · Épisode 398
mercredi 14 octobre 2026 • Durée 01:02:07
If you feel like you never have enough time, like there just aren’t enough hours in the day, this episode is for you. Because when we intentionally prioritize and plan, even the busiest people can find more time for the things they actually want to do.
I’ve been really struggling to get a handle on my own time lately. Between everything I need to do, want to do and feel like I should do, it feels impossible to keep up. So if we all have the same 24 hours in a day, why do some people manage demanding careers, families, relationships and personal goals, while others feel like they’re perpetually running out of time?
Time management expert Laura Vanderkam joins me to unpack why so many of us feel constantly busy, overwhelmed and behind… and how to reclaim our time, prioritize the life we want to be living, and build a greater sense of time abundance without trying to optimize every minute with “bro productivity hacks”.
Laura Vanderkam has spent over 15 years studying how people actually spend their time, drawing on large-scale research and her own time-tracking experiments to understand the relationship between time, productivity and our perception of busyness. She’s written multiple books including her latest, Big Time: A Simple Path to Time Abundance, in which she explores how we can shift away from a mindset of time scarcity and make more room for the things that matter. Laura also hosts two podcasts, and her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Today Show, in her viral TED Talk, and on shows like The Mel Robbins Podcast.
Tune in to learn about:
Time scarcity vs. time abundance: Why we feel like we never have enough time, what the research reveals about how we actually spend our hours, and how to change our relationship with time.
Rethink your hours: Why we should plan our lives in week-long cycles rather than in 24-hour increments.
The biggest time-management mistakes we make: Why we misjudge where our time goes, overestimate the things we don’t want to do, and underestimate the things we want to make time for.
Low-Tox Living: A Toxicologist's Guide To The Chemicals, Plastics & Endocrine Disruptors Affecting Your Hormones & Health, with Dr. Yvonne Burkart
Saison 6 · Épisode 398
mercredi 7 octobre 2026 • Durée 01:14:38
Why is literally everything we interact with daily made of plastic and chemicals?? And since avoiding them all is impossible, which ones are most toxic to us?
Toxicologist Dr. Yvonne Burkart joins me to separate the science from the fear. We break down the everyday chemicals and endocrine disruptors we're exposed to through food packaging, plastics, cookware, personal care products, fragrance, cleaning products, clothing, drinking water and more—and which changes are actually worth making.
We talk about phthalates, PFAS and “forever chemicals,” microplastics, and what the research says about their impact on our hormones, fertility, cancer risk, and overall health.
The good news? This isn’t a doomsday episode… there’s a lot of hope to be found in just a few adjustments, and Dr. Burkart shares the biggest changes she personally made to drastically improve her own health and fertility journey.
Dr. Yvonne Burkart, PhD, is a toxicologist and environmental health advocate specializing in reproductive and environmental toxicology. She is the author of the forthcoming book, The Low-Tox Solution: Simple Steps to Detoxify Your Body, Home and Environment, and she shares her valuable insights on her popular YouTube channel and on podcasts like Diary Of A CEO.
Tune in to learn about:
What “toxic load” actually means and how much exposure we’re getting from the products we interact with daily
The difference between endocrine disruptors, phthalates, PFAS (“forever chemicals”), and microplastics
How toxins impact hormones, fertility, PCOS, and sperm health
Understanding toxin exposure and cancer risk
The surprising research on generational toxin impact, how exposure in pregnancy impacts the baby, and the potential link between ADHD and endocrine disruptors
The biggest everyday sources of chemical exposure, from kitchen items to fragrance, cosmetics, and laundry
Should we all be filtering our drinking water??
Which low-tox swaps to prioritize first
How to improve the air quality in your home
ICYMI: Feeling Numb? Understanding Functional Freeze, and Polyvagal Theory As A Framework For Healing, with Beatriz Victoria Albina
Saison 6 · Épisode 396
lundi 5 octobre 2026 • Durée 10:28
Do you ever feel numb, like you're sleep-walking through life in zombie mode? You might be in functional freeze. Welcome to today’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from one of our guests that you might have missed.
We're diving into polyvagal theory, how to recognize when you’re stuck in functional freeze (a lot of people are!), and how to use somatic tools and nervous system mapping to heal both your mind and body. If you're looking to effectively regulate your nervous system, overcome dissociative tendencies, and feel present in your life, this is a must-listen.
We’re joined by Beatriz Victoria Albina,NP, MPH, SEP, a Family Nurse Practitioner, Somatic Experiencing and Breathwork Practitioner, and Master Certified Somatic Life Coach. Bea unpacks the hidden cost of emotional outsourcing™, AKA the survival habit of looking to others for validation, self-worth, and emotional regulation, instead of tuning into yourself.
We're Back! Kick Off Season 6 With 6 Questions To Get Clear On Your Priorities, Identity & Who You’re Becoming
Saison 6 · Épisode 395
mercredi 30 septembre 2026 • Durée 13:51
We're baaaaack! Season 6 is here, we've rebranded, and we’re going deeper.
I'm so excited to share everything we have in store this season — it's going to be less about finding the “right” answers, and more about asking better questions.
We’re talking about self-discovery, relationships, identity, change and uncertainty, health, purpose, communication, and what it actually means to build a life that feels like your own.
I'm kicking things off by sharing the mini identity crisis I had this summer about how I'm showing up in the world, if the way I'm spending my time is aligned with the person I want to be, and the questions I explored to reflect on how I want to move forward.
So today, I’m sharing six prompts to help you gain clarity and insight into how you want to live, where you are right now, and what might have gotten lost along the way.
Tune in to explore:
How do I want to be remembered? Is there a gap between the person you want to be and how you're actually showing up?
Who are you when no one is looking? Do you like the person you are when you’re alone and no one is watching?
What version of yourself do you miss? What parts of your younger self might be worth reconnecting with?
What will you miss about this chapter of your life? How can remembering that your current life will eventually become a memory help you appreciate the present?
What is your insecurity trying to tell you? Are insecurity, envy, and comparison clues that you’re living out of alignment or self-abandoning?
What stories are you still telling yourself? And what would happen if you started gathering evidence that those stories aren’t necessarily true?
This episode is an invitation to pause, reflect, and reverse-engineer your life around these potent questions. Grab a journal, take a walk, or discuss these prompts with someone you love. You might discover something you already knew but had forgotten.
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The habits of high performers: How to manage a full, demanding life, with sustainable routines and minimal decision fatigue
The “golden hours” you might be missing: Making better use of the most overlooked pockets of time in your schedule.
Revenge bedtime procrastination: Why we stay up late to reclaim our personal time.
Phone use and wasted time: The digital hobby that wastes our time, robbing us of our attention, real hobbies, and leisure.
Creating a resilient schedule: Why we should pre-schedule “rain dates” and plan for things to go wrong.
To-do lists and ruthless prioritization: How to decide what deserves your time when everything feels important, and Laura’s rule for to-do lists.
Choosing intentionally: Why the stories we tell ourselves about our time and priorities matter.
Complexity isn’t chaos: Why having a full life isn’t the problem… chaotic planning is.
Why you don’t need to choose: Laura’s philosophy on why we shouldn’t have to “give up” time with friends or time at the gym when you’re busy with work or parenting.
This conversation goes way deeper than productivity. It’s about intentionally choosing the way you want to live. Because the goal isn’t simply to simplify or to get more done… it’s to spend more time living a fulfilling life. You may not be able to create more hours in the day, but you can rethink how you use them.
