Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Dating is a skill. And like any skill, it takes practice. ADHD can intensify dating challenges. Like, masking to be someone we’re not so the other person will like us. Or, having intense feelings quickly, and jumping into a relationship that may not be what we want in the long run. 

Dating coach Amie Leadingham visits the show this week to talk about what a dating coach does and common dating pitfalls. Host Cate Osborn addresses what these challenges can look like with ADHD on top. 

Related resources

• Is it love or is it dopamine?, from Tips from an ADHD Coach
• A dating coach talks ADHD and super-connecting, from How’d You Get THAT Job?!
• Amie’s website, amiethedatingcoach.com

Timestamps

(03:59) What does a dating coach do?

(08:07) How ADHD can affect dating

(09:29) ADHD and “love bombing”

(12:56) What is “screening”?

(14:04) Masking in dating/The “marketing trap”

(17:50) How to ask good questions

(19:45) What to do when you realize your relationship might not be what you want

(21:37) How can people with ADHD show up to be good partners?

(23:42) When do we disclose that we have ADHD?

(25:21) Trouble with time perception and texting

(26:20) Trouble with impulse control and dating

(27:30) Amie’s question suggestions

(29:00) ADHD and oversharing

(30:54) Amie on a dating timeline

(33:10) ADHD and kink

(34:24) Where you can find Amie

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Workplace relationships can be challenging for anyone. But for people with ADHD, trouble with working memory, self-control, emotions, and more can make professionalism even more confusing.

Executive and ADHD coach Farah Jamil visits the show to clear up some common mysteries, like, how do I speak up for myself? And, what do I do when I’ve made a mistake? Listen for her answers, and some great tips to keep in your back pocket.  

Related resources

• I’m having communication issues at work. What’s going on?
• Radical Candor by Kim Scott
• Farah’s website
• Farah’s LinkedIn

Timestamps

(03:38) What does Farah do as an executive coach and ADHD coach?

(06:57) Recognizing that it’s OK not to have all of the answers at work

(09:40) How can ADHD affect collaboration in the workplace?

(11:01) The What, the How, and the Why

(13:03) How can ADHD affect communication in the workplace?

(14:56) Feeling socially awkward at work

(17:15) How to start identifying your needs

(19:36) Conflict in the workplace

(21:43) Communication strategies

(25:28) How can we take ownership of our mistakes?

(31:12) Fear of success

(34:37) Where you can find Farah

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

When you have ADHD, it can affect every part of your life — even sex. ADHD impacts how we show up in relationships. And it can be easy to forget it’s with us in the bedroom too. 

ADHD sexpert and psychologist Dr. Ari Tuckman visits the podcast this week to talk about the connection between ADHD and sex. Listen to this foundational episode as we set the scene to cover more in-depth topics on sex in future episodes. 

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Related resources

• Sex, intimacy, and ADHD from ADHD Aha!
• Ari’s book, ADHD After Dark
• Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski

Timestamps

(03:45) Why is ADHD and sex an important topic?

(07:24) What Ari learned from research for his book, ADHD After Dark

(10:33) ADHD and responsibility 

(12:47) Avoiding a transactional sexual relationship

(14:55) Intentionality and ADHD

(17:39) What can we do to help?

(25:10) Ari’s main takeaways

(26:45) What do I do if me or my partner is really excited about sex, but one or the other of us struggles to remember it exists?

(29:54) What do I do if I get distracted during sex?

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Boundaries are limits based on our values — and a key part of good relationships. ADHD can come with low self-esteem and anxiety, which can get in the way of respecting your own boundaries in relationships. 

ADHD educator and marriage counselor Melissa Orlov explains what boundaries are and how ADHD comes into play. Plus, she offers tips on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships.

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Related resources

• ADHD in marriage: How it changed a relationship (Breon and Dan’s story)
• ADHD and trouble with personal boundaries in kids
• Melissa’s website, adhdmarriage.com

Timestamps

(04:28) What is a boundary?

(10:20) How do we figure out what our boundaries are?

(14:51) People pleasing

(20:45) How do we work on creating and evolving boundaries with a partner?

(22:16) Top three things to know, and some activities to get started

(24:42) Cate's Comment Corner

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Juggling everything that ADHD throws at us can make us struggle in our friendships. Trouble with executive function affects our ability to communicate and remember things. And the shame that comes with ADHD can lead to us hiding our challenges and pretending to be someone we’re not. 

In this episode, host Cate Osborn welcomes a good friend of hers, Elizabeth Kilmer. Elizabeth is a clinical psychologist and researcher in game studies. Join Cate and Elizabeth as they talk about what it means to be friends with ADHD and how having friends who “get it” can be a lifesaver.

Related resources

• Making friends as an adult with ADHD
• Understanding trouble with social skills
• Elizabeth’s website, elizabethkilmer.com

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

It can be a struggle to balance chores in a relationship. When one or more people in the relationship have ADHD, there’s even more room for miscommunication. It’s important to be on the same page about expectations, or you may end up with resentment, and more fights than you’d like to. 

KC Davis wrote the book How to Keep House While Drowning, and hosts the podcast Struggle Care. KC joins host Cate Osborn in this episode of Sorry, I Missed This to talk about care tasks, sharing the load, and getting on the same page. 

Related resources

• KC Davis’ website, strugglecare.com
• Tackling organization, clutter, and stress with hyperfocus (Wendy’s story)
• ADHD and messiness

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Social skills can be challenging for people with ADHD. Whether it’s trouble with executive function or anxiety from past situations, socializing can come with a lot of emotions. It can also be really confusing and bring up questions like Why does it seem so much easier for everyone else? Why can’t I hold onto friendships? What do I even like to do?  

In this episode, host Cate Osborn chats with Caroline Maguire, MEd. Caroline is an ADHD coach and author of the book Why Will No One Play With Me? Join Cate and Caroline as they talk about how ADHD affects social skills and what we can do to help.

Related resources

• Caroline’s website
• Caroline’s book, Why Will No One Play With Me?
• Caroline’s video, How to Stop People Pleasing with ADHD

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

It can be hard to navigate relationships when you have ADHD. Here’s a podcast that can help!

Welcome to Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn.

Your host Cate has ADHD, a background in sex education, and a whole lot of questions like “How do I know what I want out of a relationship? How do I remember my friends exist? What can I do to handle conflict better?”

Tune in to learn about topics like social skills, boundaries, communication, intimacy, and sex. Join Cate in unpacking the taboo, painful, and often hilarious challenges of being in a relationship when you have ADHD. First episode drops 6/18/24.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Have you ever been called a “manic pixie dream girl” by someone you were dating? Is it hard to remember your partner when they’re not with you? ADHD can bring its own set of challenges to dating, and romantic relationships.

Producer Margie visits the podcast to share what she’s found on the ADHD Women subreddit, where women with ADHD ask questions and share their challenges and wins. Listen for Cate’s reactions and a chat about common romantic dilemmas for women with ADHD!

Related resources

• The ADHD Women subreddit
• ADHD Support for Women by Understood.org’s Facebook group

Timestamps

(00:00) Women with ADHD communities, and common dating tropes

(03:46) Post #1 “I was too much for him”

(06:37) Post #2 “I did 12 loads of laundry to avoid writing a dating profile”

(11:56) Post #3 “Anyone else chronically feel like they’re not in a place where they’re ready to date?”

(16:27) Post #4 “Having ADHD as a woman and still having to carry the mental load”

(22:20) Post #5 “The ADHD struggle of falling in love after every good date”

(27:04) Post #6 “Does anyone else struggle with accidentally ignoring their partner or friends?”

(34:28) Talking about what gives us shame helps everyone

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD can impact pregnancy in a number of ways: Higher rate of postpartum depression, hormone surges that affect the brain’s functioning, increased demands on our executive function, and so much more. 

Our guest this week, Dusty Chipura, is an ADHD and pregnancy expert, ADHD coach, and doula in training. Dusty takes us through pregnancy with ADHD, what you might expect, and what conversations are important to have with your support network ahead of welcoming a baby. 

Related resources

• A guide to hormones and ADHD
• ADHD and pregnancy workbook by Alix Bacon and Dusty Chipura
• Dusty’s website, vancouveradhdcoaching.com

Timestamps

(01:27) Some ways ADHD affects pregnancy

(02:25) How did Dusty become an expert in ADHD and pregnancy?

(04:21) First trimester/early pregnancy and ADHD

(05:57) Sensory sensitivities and pregnancy

(08:44) Second trimester

(13:23) What conversations should we be having with our support system during this time?

(17:20) Third trimester

(20:04) What happens after the baby is born?

(22:33) ADHD and the postpartum period

(25:55) Best practices and tools

(28:41) Dusty’s top tips

(30:35) Dealing with parental guilt

(31:59) Where you can find Dusty

For a transcript and more resources visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give