In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) My partner is very shy when it comes to talking about sex. He found a sex compatibility quiz which we took as a way to open communication between us and the results showed we’re very in sync. In the quiz, he expressed interest in using a penis ring. But how do I know which one to buy, and what is the best way to use it? We’re a hetero couple, both 30, healthy, and have sex twice a week. He doesn’t have issues with stamina—sometimes quite the opposite (which makes him self-conscious). I’m worried if I get the wrong one, it will exacerbate that for him.

2) My wife of 30 years says she’d like more romance when I initiate sex. But she’s not a flower type of person. I know everyone's definition of romance is different, but do you have any suggestions for me?

3) Can women have premature orgasms? I sometimes feel like I orgasm way too fast, and sex is over before I want it to be. I know I could aim for another, but I’m generally done after one orgasm. I have my orgasms through my girlfriend using her fingers on me or through oral sex. There’s a lot of information about men having orgasms before they’re ready, but I can’t find anything on women. I’m 26 and lesbian.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I split with my husband of 14 years and my divorce has just come through. I’m a combination of nervous and excited. The marriage wasn’t bad, it was just boring and the sex was never good or satisfying. I’m now ready to get out there and start dating again, but I’m nervous about sex. Any tips on how to ease back into it? I’m 46.

2) I love my wife but I have just finished a work affair that lasted two months. I didn’t finish it, she did. The affair was just sex—she chased me, rather than me making the moves—so I guess you would call it an opportunistic affair. I’ll miss the sex, but I’m glad it’s over and I am praying my wife will never find out. What concerns me though is how easy I found it to cheat. Is this a male thing? It meant nothing to me, but I know my wife sure as hell wouldn’t view it that way. I feel ashamed now that it’s over, but I didn’t while I was having it. Does this mean I will do it again?

3) How do I stay in the moment during sex? I am so easily distracted, half the time I forget I’m actually having sex. I drift off into my own world, thinking about things I have to do or things I want to buy.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) When I first got together with my partner of four years, we had lots of fun tying each other up. That stopped about a year ago and I really miss it, so I asked if we could incorporate it back into our lovemaking. The very same night, I walked into the bedroom ready for bed—not even slightly in the mood for sex—and there was a tie on the bed. I asked him what it was for, and he said to tie me up. I was in my dressing gown, listening to a podcast, slippers on—how could he not see that was not the time? I told him his timing was off and felt annoyed that he didn’t get that. I don’t want this to be a box that he's ticked—I want it to happen naturally, when we’re both really turned on and in the mood. It’s now been two months and he hasn’t initiated any tie-up sessions since. I don’t understand why, when I was very clear in what I wanted. Why doesn’t he want to please me?

2) My husband and I have sex once every two months. We have two young kids, so that seemed about right to me. Recently, I used his computer and looked at his history and was quite shocked to see he’d been watching porn earlier that day while I was out. I’d be happy to have sex more often and feel insulted he’d prefer to masturbate to porn than have sex with me. Why didn’t he ask? Should I confront him about this? I feel quite hurt.

3) I’m a 29-year-old female and I have a hard time orgasming. I've done a lot of research and listened to many of your podcasts. I've bought the toys, my partner is patient and generous—there is no good reason I shouldn't be successful! When I am able to orgasm, I have to tighten the muscles in my legs and lower abdomen. I also hold my breath. I read online that this is called a ‘tension orgasm’ and that the best fix is to relearn the way I orgasm. I've tried, but the sensation won't even begin to build unless my legs are flexed. I can vibrate, stroke for an hour or more and never feel an ounce of arousal. What gives?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. Is it true that a red rash appears on the chest if she’s had a real orgasm? Or is this old-school thinking? I remember hearing that a lot when I was a young boy growing up but I haven’t heard anyone talking about it for a while. Another sex myth? Is there any way you can tell for sure? I getting paranoid my new girlfriend is faking it.
2. My partner wants sex all the time to the point where I worry it’s now an addiction. We have sex twice a day but that’s no longer enough. He’s 34 and I’m 36, so this isn’t some horny adolescent who’s just discovered how great sex is. If I deny him sex or refuse to have it a third or fourth time, he sulks and disappears off to the bathroom to take care of himself. (On top of all the sex we have, I know he has extra orgasms solo as well.) I’m starting to feel like a receptacle rather than someone he loves. There’s no intimacy in our sex, it’s all done to give him an orgasm. It’s like he becomes another person. Is sex addiction even real? How do I handle this? He’s always been sex-mad but not to this extreme.
3. So, I know lots of people will judge me on this but I feel like you two won’t. I am having a relationship with one of my son’s friends. Let me reassure you: this isn’t as icky as it sounds. My son is 26 and I had him very young. His friend is 28 and I’m 43. I’ve been single for a long time and this all came out of an innocent friendship that developed between us. My son is aware we are friends and doesn’t seem to mind that but he has no idea we are now lovers. Am I crazy to think this might last? He says he’s serious about me and wants a proper relationship. Should I believe him or assume it’s just a sex thing? If it is just sex, am I better off not telling my son, because it probably won’t last long? Or should I confess anyway? We’re doing a good job of hiding it but it’s getting harder and harder and I would hate my son to find out before we told him.

 And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. My husband of 30 years recently bought a pair of VR goggles for work. The other night I found him in bed wearing the goggles and he was fully aroused and touching himself. He didn’t know I was in the room at that time. When I asked him what he was watching he told me it was virtual porn and that I should try it. I was repulsed and would not. Am I out of touch? Is it wrong to think that he's cheating on me with a virtual person? Is this even normal?
2. I can't orgasm from oral sex, and I would really like to learn to. This is especially an issue because I date women as well as men, and oral is a big deal for women who date women. I'm in my mid 20's, was raised to be very unashamed and to have a positive view of sex. I don't feel awkward or ashamed of my genitals and have no issue with someone's face all up in there. I just feel awkward lying on my back like a bug who can't flip back over, and I don't know what to do with my arms. I also find the sensation of a tongue down there is just...annoying. It tickles a little and other than that feels like nothing. I can orgasm just fine with my fingers (I've owned vibrators but don't like them) and oral just never compares. Can I learn to enjoy oral? Have my partners just been bad at oral?
3. My boyfriend is having trouble staying hard and I’m worried if it’s because of me. He has no problem getting it up, and with me touching him he responds quite well. It’s when we get to penetration that he loses some, if not most of, his erection. Once he’s inside he has no problem getting going and is able to orgasm. But it’s the in-between period of penetration and sex that is causing the issue. Is this potentially ED related? I can tell he’s quite very frustrated with it and want to be able to help/reassure him.

 And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. I know women can have multiple orgasms but that never happens for me. Once I have one, any further stimulation feels too intense. How many women are actually are having multiple orgasms regularly? Is it a myth?
2. I've been with my wife for 14 years and we enjoyed a healthy sex life. Over the past 18 months or so (during the various lockdowns) my wife has put on weight which has affected how attracted I am to her sexually i.e. I no longer wish to rip her clothes off and have passionate sex. Is it wrong of me to lose some of my sexual attraction towards her because of the weight gain? I don't know what the best thing is to do; not say anything or communicate to her how I truly feel (which I know she's going to immediately react defensively to)? Help!
3. Do you have any advice for bisexuals who have struggled with their identity? I put off having sex because I struggled with whether I was straight or gay and wanted to wait until I figured myself out. Now I feel I’m behind in forming relationships and having sex compared to my friends and other young adults. I would really appreciate advice for non-straight sex as well.

 And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. I have been married for eight years and am worried my partner has fallen out of love with me. Our sex life is alright – we don’t do it as much as we did, but I know that’s normal. But we used to sit on the sofa together and now I’ve noticed he settles himself into an armchair. When I asked him why he said it’s better for his back. (He’s only 42 but he does have back problems so might be telling the truth?) We don’t hold hands anymore and he only says he loves me, if I say it first. Is this just how all relationships end up? I have always worried I love him much more than he loves me and that he may be planning to leave.
2. I love your podcast and am hoping you can help me make sense of something that keeps happening to me. I swear to God I’m the straightest man you will ever meet but I have a recurring fantasy which scares me. In it, I go to a gay club with my gay friends - I do this in reality, I’m not homophobic at all. But instead of just having a laugh with them, I go into a cubicle and let a guy give me oral sex. I have no desire at all to do this in real life. Does it mean I am secretly gay? I don’t think so because I love having sex with women and don’t feel attracted to men. I just don’t understand why this gets me off.
3. My boyfriend and I have lots of sex (I’m 28, he’s 26). Recently, I came home unexpectedly to find him watching porn on his phone in the living room and pleasuring himself. I was shocked – why would he do this when he knows he can have sex with me anytime he wants? Does it mean he doesn’t enjoy sex with me? Are we not having it enough? Is it normal for men to continue having solo sex even if they’re having regular sex with their partners?

 And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. My best male friend has – out of the blue – confessed that he loves me. I have never thought of him that way. I love him as a friend but I'm not sure I can move him from the ‘friend basket’ into the ‘boyfriend basket’? Is it really possible for that to happen? We’ve been close friends for over four years. Should we take it slowly or dive right in there with sex? What if the sex is awful and I only want him as a friend. What then?
2. My wife of 20 years and I love each other dearly. We share the same values. We have similar likes and dislikes. But not when it comes to sex. We are very different sex types. I’m adventurous; she’s conservative. I adore foreplay; she wants to go straight to intercourse. I’m a giver; she’s a receiver. She likes sex in one position; I crave variety. If I’m honest she’s a rather selfish lover. We’ve talked a lot about it and I’ve read a lot about it and I don’t think things can or will change. But I couldn’t leave her as despite all this I really, really do do love her. Recently she said that she doesn’t mind if I do my own thing sexually and have the adventure I feel I need, provided I practice safe sex and don’t tell her. My question is should I take up this offer and if so what, how and where?
3. What are your thoughts on this?! It’s been bugging me forever and I can’t get it out of my mind. This guy and I had a thing for years on and off and while having the most passionate sex, he would gladly accept a blowjob from me but wouldn't go down on me at all. I am the cleanest person ever and don't understand why he would refuse when I asked him to. I'm thinking maybe because he would only do this to his wife and nobody else? Or he’s just not experienced. Thoughts?

 And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’ve had so many questions in response to a cheating question we did, we thought we would do a special and answer questions that center around the three most asked themes:

1.  THEME: SHOULD YOU ASK FOR DETAILS? My wife had an affair with an ex of hers who was always sniffing around. She stopped it after I found out (I found text messages). I do believe her when she says it’s stopped but I can’t stop wondering what they did together. I want to know the sordid details but also don’t want to know. Does it help people recover from affairs or make it worse, knowing exactly what went on?
2. THEME: SHOULD YOU EVEN UP THE SCORE BY HAVING YOUR OWN AFFAIR? I’ve been with my husband for 9 years, married for 2 of those. I found out a year after our wedding he lied to me about his Bach party in Canada. He went to strips clubs, he brought strippers back and had “private shows”. He even went as far as to hire prostitutes. I found out via a random message someone sent to me and he was forced to admit it. We’ve done couples counseling but I secretly still hate him and want revenge. Should I have my own affair to even the score?
3. THEME: HOW TO RESUME HAVING SEX AGAIN AFTER AN AFFAIR. My partner cheated on me. We’ve been to therapy and have decided to work through it but we haven’t had sex since I found out he cheated. I can’t even masturbate anymore. The instant image of him with a stripper ruins my mood because all I see is him with someone else. How do I get past this and enjoy sex with him and self sex again?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. My wife of 35 years has just reached her 60th birthday and she has come through the menopause in style. She has just had her first tattoo and wants to be more 'wild' in all aspects of life, including sex. She wants to do fun things, be a bit rebellious and take more risks. I sense this is also, in part, a reaction to the pandemic (we both caught Covid but were okay). While I am excited, I am a bit worried, too. I asked her what this might mean in the bedroom and she told me to "come up with some wild ideas." I am a bit out of my depth and don't know what to suggest, though I do have a wild side in me too. I am also not sure I can be wild enough for her.
2. We’re a busy couple and hardly ever have time for sex so find ourselves having lots of quickies. Is that a bad thing? How can we make them more rewarding? We invariably end up doing it him from behind and that’s about it.
3. Can you ever really change someone? I’ve been with my partner for four years and I’m near the end of my tether. During this time he’s had money worries, problems with alcohol, exes that reappear and text and call him out of the blue and he has cheated on me twice. He’s a good-looking man and I appreciate that he has a past but I feel like he uses his looks to excuse all the other bad behavior. He’s promised me he will change but I’m not sure he can. Should I give him another chance or bail?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. I’m 20 years old and have been sexually active about 2 years, with the same partner. The sex in itself is amazing, but it gets to a point when air gets into my vagina and makes a weird noise. This makes me feel really uncomfortable (he says he doesn’t mind it at all). Is my vagina too loose? And if so, can I do something about it? But also, isn’t it weird to have this problem at my age? Or maybe is it about the girth of my partner’s penis? 
2. I have never had a one night stand before, but I have always thought it could be a lot of fun if done right. I am afraid of taking home someone who is creepy or not trustworthy, especially these days with COVID, how would you recommend going about one-night stands in a safe yet fun way?
3. I’m 6 months postpartum. My body looks very different and I’m very nervous to have sex with my husband again. I just recently started feeling the desire for sex again but I’m terrified he will be turned off by how I feel now and how I look. I’m not very confident with my new body type either. How do I regain my confidence in bed?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. I just recently started finding interest in porn. But I’m not really finding anything female friendly. It’s very male driven and just gross and angry - not to mention, way too unrealistic. I’ve tried watching a couple of videos but they just make me want to shower afterwards because they are just awful. Do you have any suggestions for female-friendly porn sites that won’t make me feel dirty after I watch them?
2. My previous girlfriend used to have G-spot orgasms easily but my new partner isn’t convinced they are possible because she doesn’t believe the G-spot exists. Does it? I used to quite enjoy watching my girlfriend experience one. It seemed much more intense.
3. I always seem to end up with men who are a really bad match for me sexually. Is there a way to find your perfect sex match before you jump into bed with them? What should I be looking for if I want someone who is quite sensual and erotic and likes to take things slowly?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. I am a middle aged man, married, in good health. My question is, how can I last longer during intercourse? A typical session lasts only a matter of three of four minutes. Are there any exercises or techniques that I can use to gain more self control? I've tried things such as masturbating in advance to lessen the desire, extending masturbation to longer durations to better understand my response and ways to manage it, as well as doing Kegels. It’s something I’ve struggled with all my life.
2. I keep reading about toys and condoms getting lost inside people. Is this true? It makes me nervous! What do you do if this happens?
3. A very good friend of mine, who is married, confessed recently that she’s having an affair. It’s put me in a very awkward situation because my husband and I often hang out with her and her husband. I don’t approve but don’t know if it’s my place to tell her that? I’m terrified to tell my husband – who I tell everything – in case he slips up or decides we have to tell her husband. He’s aware I’m keeping a secret and that’s not helping either. What’s the right thing to do here? I get the impression it’s more a sex affair than love affair.

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I feel like your inbox for this podcast is full of questions like mine. I’ve been married for 26 years, and our sex life quietly died about 10 years ago. I’ve been listening to you both and I know this is normal. What I want to find out is if my wife misses our sex, or if she is happy with not having it? We’re best friends and still sleep naked, we just never initiate sex. We’ve never talked about sex before, even though we both enjoyed it in the past. How do I start the conversation after all this time?

2) I’m a 36-year-old man and have just gone through a particularly nasty breakup with my girlfriend of 10 years. I’m not interested in having another relationship for a LONG time, if ever, but I do miss sex. I have a group of close friends, and one of them has intimated she’d be up for a friends-with-benefits arrangement. Seems like a good idea to me. What do you think?

3) I hope you can help me because I think I must be a terrible lover. My long-term boyfriend just broke-up with me, and the main reason why was that he didn’t enjoy having sex with me. He said I never once initiated sex and didn’t ever seem to enjoy it. He knows I don’t have much experience and am naturally shy, but said there was ‘lots of other stuff’ as well (which he didn’t elaborate on). It's stripped me of what little confidence I did have. How do you tell if you’re good in bed? What do I have to do to become good in bed?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. My friends talk about their partners always hassling them for sex but I have the opposite problem. My husband is the one who doesn’t want it. Is he having an affair? Does it mean he doesn’t find me attractive anymore? I’m too embarrassed to talk to my friends.
2. My partner of five months wants to know how many lovers I’ve had. Let’s say I have reinvented myself just a little and that number might be a lot higher than he’s expecting. Should I lie?
3. My husband has a fantasy of seeing me with another man. When he told me about it, it really turned me on and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Am I crazy or selfish for wanting to indulge this in real life? My husband seems really keen to. Is this common and where would we even start with finding someone?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. My partner and I have been together for 6 years and haven't tried anything new in a while. You say things like ‘spice things up a bit’ - by doing what though? Can you spell out exactly what you mean by that and give some practical examples?
2. My husband’s penis is on the large side...not so much length as girth. Sex is only comfortable in a couple of positions. Despite using lashings of lube anything other than side by side or missionary just doesn’t seem to work. We’ve been together decades and I know my husband is keen to try more positions but I’m reluctant. Any ideas?
3. I'm experiencing problems having penetrative sex because of the menopause. My husband is complaining about the lack of intimacy, understandably. What he doesn't seem to get is that I am extremely turned off by the person he has become. He sits and burps really loudly all the time - even when we are out and about walking down the street. He's also become very racist and xenophobic which I am finding totally distressing. When I try to talk to him about it, he just ignores me and says he is who he is and I either like it or lump it. Why would I want to get intimate with such a man?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. Is it normal for couples to have sex in the same position every single time? We only ever have sex in two positions: me on top and him on top. He has no problem having orgasms that way, but I do. He always gives me an orgasm through oral sex but I would like to at least try for one during intercourse. Any suggestions on which positions are best?
2. I’m dating a much younger man. I’m 52 and he’s 41 and the sex is fantastic. I’m newly divorced and I wasn’t looking for much more than just fun but now I can feel myself falling for him. He says the age difference doesn’t worry him and he feels the same way, but does it ever work out? I feel like I’m just setting myself up for heartbreak.
3. My partner and I don’t own any sex toys but would like to try some. Can you tell me what are the top three sex toys you would recommend for couples who are trying them for the first time? We’ve been together eight years and I feel like we’re in a bit of a sex rut. LINKS BELOW:

BULLET VIBRATOR:

https://bit.ly/3lGIdiW

https://bit.ly/3lTGM0q

MASTURBATION SLEEVE:

https://bit.ly/3yB3yh9

https://bit.ly/3Aw8CEp

REMOTE CONTROLLED EGG:

https://bit.ly/3yEojss

https://bit.ly/37JjYZn

BONDAGE KIT:

https://bit.ly/3fMHj0y

https://bit.ly/3ixCFFp

GLASS DILDOS: 

https://bit.ly/2VHBLgR

https://bit.ly/2VG9MxE

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. I’m a huge believer in soulmates and “The One’ and the idea that there’s one person out there for me. But some of my friends say this harms my prospects in the long run. Are they right?
2. I want to send my partner a nude photo of myself but every time I take one, it’s unflattering. Do you have any tips? We're also quite interested in filming ourselves having sex but not if it's going to crush our egos watching it back!
3. Can you discuss the pros and cons of erectile dysfunction drugs like Tadalafil/Cialis and how they compare to the traditionally available Viagra? I have read that there are differences between them but not sure what’s advertising and what’s real?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. My partner of 12 years wants me to ‘peg’ him. I didn’t even know what it was and had to google it. Now I’m worried. Not only don’t I want to do it, I’m worried it secretly means he’s gay.
2. I found out my husband had sex with a hooker on his bachelor’s night just before we got married. What should I do now? That was five years and two kids ago. He deeply regrets it and swears he’s never cheated before or since and that his friends pushed him into it.
3. I like getting quite wild and noisy in bed but it seems to freak men out. Should I calm it down? I don’t feel like I should but I don’t want to scare men off either! My previous long-term partner used to like it.

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. My husband of 13 years is suddenly wanting to try lots of new things in bed. Even more suspicious, he’s quite good at things I know he’s never done with me. I accused him of having an affair and he says he isn’t but what else could it be? He says he just wants to have more adventurous sex. But why now after all these years of quite boring sex?
2. I’m really good at oral sex – it’s the thing I do best that really works on guys. So I was totally deflated to discover my new partner doesn’t enjoy receiving oral sex. He says he’s never really enjoyed it and only likes it when I use my hand. Now what?
3. I recently found out my first and only real true love who I was with for seven years has now come out as gay. It was 20 years ago that we were together and I’m married now but it’s really thrown me. Does it mean he didn’t ever love me? Was it my fault? I am reasonably happy in my marriage but have always secretly hoped we’d end up back together. I don’t know how to deal with this.

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. My long-term girlfriend wants me to talk dirty in bed but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I feel incredibly self-conscious and have no idea what to say. Can you give me some ideas and please don’t make me sound I’m in an awful porn video.
2. I met a guy online and we’re about to meet in person. I found it really easy chatting and flirting with him online or on Zoom but in person I’m not half as confident. I worry when he sees the real me in person he’ll be disappointed. I also gave the impression I’d be open to a lot more things sexually than I really am. What do I do now?
3. How much are we ‘allowed’ to have our own sexual life, indeed sex ‘secrets’ within a relationship? I’m not talking about having an affair, but is it ok to masturbate without telling our partner we’ve done it? I’m assuming that’s a yes, it’s ok, but what about confessing to watching porn when we masturbate? Or having a secret sex toy just for ourselves? And, discussing sex on social media — where should you draw the ‘me only’ line?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. I find sex at best uncomfortable, at worst outright painful. How do I make it more enjoyable? I have seen my doctor and he doesn’t seem to think there’s anything obviously wrong.
2. We used to kiss all the time but just two years in, it’s all gone. I really miss it. How do I get it back again? We don’t even kiss during sex anymore. Do other long-term couples still kiss using their tongues?
3. My partner takes Viagra ‘just for fun’. He doesn’t need it – he’s only 32 and doesn’t have erection problems – but I think he likes the feeling of being really hard. I worry it’s not good for him and that he will become reliant. He says he’s been using it on and off for years. 

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. My partner and I want to try anal sex for the first time. Can you give us some tips on how to go about it? I don’t want it to hurt. Are there things you can do to make it hurt less?
2. I’ve been seeing a new man for about a month and he still hasn’t made a move. I’m used to men hitting on me on the first date. What’s going on? Does this mean he doesn’t find me sexually attractive?
3. I was raised in the Catholic Church and their viewpoint on sex is very negative and close-minded. Now that I am older and not involved in the church anymore, I am trying to relearn basic behaviors and change my mindset surrounding sex. I often am overwhelmed with feelings of "Catholic Guilt" any time I find myself filled with desire and want. I have a hard time relaxing and getting that guilt out of my mind during sex or while using my vibrator that it is really hard for me to enjoy the act of sex. Besides therapy, what are my options to overcome this wall?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. I’ve just started my first relationship with a woman - my others have all been with men. I wonder if you could give me some tips on giving another woman oral sex. I feel like I should know how to do it, because I’ve got what she’s got. But it’s not as easy as I thought. I feel like I’m terrible at it.
2. Sometimes I would do anything to have sex and other times, I couldn’t think of anything worse. My partner gets really annoyed with me and says he doesn’t know where he is with it all. Why does this happen and how can I make him understand it’s not my fault it happens? Is it something to do with my menstrual cycle?
3. I have always enjoyed using sex toys with partners but my new boyfriend is really threatened by them. Most especially my favorite vibrator, which is a Rabbit. How can I get him to relax and enjoy them like my other lovers have?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) My husband and I are each other’s first loves. We’re now twenty years on, 10 years married with a child and I feel at a loss. Our sex life is robotic and boring, once or twice a month. Same foreplay, same position. I have repeatedly suggested trying new things, but it’s always met with resistance, no willingness to talk or try anything. Frankly, he has no clue how to make me orgasm. I can count on one hand how many times that’s happened. I have shown and guided him, he’s just not interested. He expects oral sex, but has never and is not willing to give it. He’s a great dad. I love him, but that is reducing all the time. Sometimes I dread it when he kisses me. Our child is growing up and less dependent. I’m entering mid-life in a loveless, sexless marriage. The appeal of meeting someone who would want to have more meaningful sex and experiment is huge. How on earth do we get a sex life and nearer to where I want it to be?

2) I am a 28-year-old straight man and I orgasm so fast, it’s humiliating. It’s barely a minute between when I penetrate and orgasm. I’m so embarrassed I haven’t had sex for six months. What can I do to overcome this? I’ve tried a delay spray and it did nothing.

3) I love your podcast and you’ve encouraged me to try new things with my partner of four years. But it backfired on me. I thought he’d be impressed by my new trick (it was an oral sex technique) but it had the opposite effect to what I intended: he lost his erection! He seemed annoyed that I’d done something different than the norm rather than impressed. Why? I’m completely demoralized and annoyed with him, and now don’t feel like making an effort at all.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. I have met a new man and really like him but the sex is OK at best. Is this a bad sign? Doesn’t everyone have great sex at the start? Should you leave if the sex is no good?
2. The husband of a close friend of mine keeps coming onto me. It’s making things very awkward. I am a close friend of both of them and currently single. I’ve been spending a lot of time with them and he’s always saying how he can’t understand why no one is snapping me up, men should be beating the door down, etc. About a month ago, he made it clear that he’s very attracted to me and would love to take it further. What should I do? Do I tell my friend?
3. I have lots of fantasies and am wondering if I should share them with my partner. Our sex life is fine but it could do with a bit of livening up. What’s your take on telling your partner your fantasies?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. I am 42, have been single for three years, and am starting to think I am never going to meet anyone. Even worse, I know so many other women in the same boat. Why are there so many attractive, accomplished, together single women and no men that fit that description? Where have all the good men gone?
2. I am interested in being polyamorous and dating more than one person at once. When is the right time to tell a new partner that you are intending on having relationships with more than one person? I feel like it will put a lot of people off.
3. My question is about locations. What if your partner wants to have sex in risky locations (the kids seeing, the dog in the room)? What if you want to have sex in erotic locations (beach, car, rooftop) and your partner doesn't?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. How can I get my partner to get more kinky? I've tried suggesting things, I've changed positions and he always reverts back to missionary style. I’d love to do it on the table, against the wall. Nothing works for him except in bed, the same way. This is boring! I even told him I have sex toys – he’s not even interested in that. I have a very old-fashioned guy.

2. I can’t stop thinking about the sex my partner had with his ex. I met her recently and she was sexy, confident, and flirtatious. I’ve had a video of the two of them at it whirling around in my head ever since. I don’t want to talk to him about it unless he confirms my worst fears: that I’m not half as sexy/good in bed as she is.

3. My previous boyfriend used to constantly make fun of the face I make when I orgasm. It’s made me really self-conscious and I’m now dreading having sex with any future boyfriends. How can I get past it?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1. I’m married and having an affair with a man who is also married. I know it’s wrong but I’m addicted to the sex. Is it so wrong to continue? Who are we hurting if no one finds out?

2. Ever since I had a baby, sex is painful for me. It’s making me dread sex. I don’t want to talk to my doctor because I’m too embarrassed.

3. I think I’m asexual, and I don’t want to be. I wish that I wanted to have sex as much as my friends do. Am I really asexual or am I just afraid to be intimate? How do you tell the difference?

And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three questions and offers a signature sex tip:

1. I used to love sex but I’m finding, as I’m getting older, that my confidence is falling. I haven’t felt sexy since I had children and put on weight. I’ve also got lots of stretch marks. My husband tells me I look great but I think he’s just saying that to be nice. What can I do to get my confidence back?

2. I have most of my orgasms with my vibrator on my own. Sometimes I worry that this is ruining me for sex with my partner. Is it possible to get addicted to my vibrator? Is it bad for you to have most of your orgasms that way?

3. My new partner wants me to watch porn with him. I’ve never done it before and worried I’m going to make a fool of myself. What do you do while you’re watching it? Do you watch it and then go off and have sex? Or do you do it while you’re watching?

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three questions and offers a signature sex tip:

1. I’ve just split from my partner and back out there dating again. (Just when I thought I’d never have to stare at a stranger’s ceiling again, here I am!) I’m up to speed on online dating but what’s the etiquette with pubic hair now? Do I have to take it all off? I’ve always found the completely hairless thing a bit creepy (not to mention hard to maintain).
2. How often should I be having sex? Is once a week enough? Some of my friends say they’re having it three times a week. Are we being pathetic only doing it weekly?
3. I never want sex unless I’ve had some wine. It relaxes me and gives me confidence. Is this wrong? My new partner gets annoyed with me but I find it difficult to get in the mood unless I’ve had a few.

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three questions and offers a signature sex tip:

1. My partner is very close to a woman at his work. Pre lockdown, they’d joke that they’re each other’s ‘work husband and wife’. I don’t think anything is going on, but he does talk about her a lot and they used to have lunch together. Am I right to feel threatened now he’s soon back to work in the office? He admits he’s really looking forward to seeing her. She’s also married.
2. I don’t orgasm during sex. What’s wrong with me? My partner says he’s never had this problem with other women. I’m worried he’ll leave me if I don’t sort this out. 
3. My partner has stopped wanting sex. Quite honestly, I’m secretly thrilled because I have too. But is our relationship doomed because of it? Should I say something? 

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex. Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tracey tackles these 3 topics:

1. Do date nights actually work - and do I really have to have one?

2. I told my friends his sex secret - and now he's found out! 

3. Should you be honest about your partner's "size" - what to say? 

TIP: It's OK to say no to sex. It's OK not to want sex all the time. If you say no now and then, your partner knows that when you do say yes, you mean it!  

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex. 

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

International sex expert Tracey Cox chats with Zibby who asks her these three anonymous questions: 

1. Your husband would rather watch porn than have sex with you. Why?

2. You had a sex dream about your doorman. Problem?

3. Do men really enjoy giving women oral sex? Should women worry? 

Plus Tracey's weekly sex tip! To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex. 

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I love sex and I love the feeling of orgasm, but I’ve never been able to have more than one. Are all women capable of multiple orgasms, and how can I increase my chances of having one?

2) I’m a straight guy wanting to suggest a threesome with my wife of four years. She’s really into sex and very adventurous, but I’ve never suggested anything like this or even asked if she’s had one in the past. I have. I would love to see her with another woman, so it would be a male/female/female combination. Any suggestions on how to suggest this without causing issues? I feel very nervous about it.

3) Love the podcast and am guessing you will both tell me to mind my own business, but I’m worried about my 24-year-old son. He doesn’t seem to have any interest in getting a girlfriend or having casual sex. He knows I’ve had a colorful past (nice way of saying a lot of partners before I met his dad) and I’ve asked him why he isn’t out there exploring. His answer was that he’s not that intrigued by sex. After a bit of digging, he said he’s scared by what’s expected of him and not sure he wants the sex he sees on porn. I didn’t ask outright, but I’m guessing he’s a virgin. Is this normal? I can’t imagine why a 24-year-old good-looking boy isn’t interested in sex.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m wondering if I’m a little full on too early on when I go on dates. I love having deep, intense conversations and hate small talk. Some men seem to love it, but one guy recently told me I was a ‘bit heavy’ and to ‘lighten up a bit.’ What’s your view on this?

2) I was diagnosed with depression in my early 20s and have been on and off anti-depressants all my life. When I take the pills, I have no desire to have sex at all. When I do, it’s not enjoyable: stimulation feels stunted and it’s hard to reach a climax. My mood is better when I’m on them, but I feel I have to stop them for the sake of my relationship. My partner is very understanding, but it’s not fair: we’re only in our late 30s. I’ve been off them for three months this time and not noticed any return of my libido. Will it eventually come back?

3) We’re a straight couple in our early 40s. We’d both rate our sex life as good, but we are a bit lazy and don’t try new things very often. Maybe we aren’t terribly imaginative. Any suggestions on what to try? Also, how often should you try something new?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I have my best orgasms using my wand vibrator. My old boyfriend didn’t have an issue with using it in bed with us (though he was the first man I’ve ever used it with). Now, I’m with someone new—about two months in—and want to bring it up. Any hints on what to say? My previous boyfriend was the one to suggest it last time.

2) I’ve been to hell and back in my marriage. My partner confessed to having a three-month affair with a woman at his work. We’ve been to therapy and have decided to work through it, but we haven’t had sex since I found out about her. Anytime I get a sexual thought, an image of him with her squashes it. That’s all I see: him with someone else. How do I get past this and enjoy sex again?

3) I love 69ers but I often end up unsatisfied. Seems to me like one person always misses out—usually me! My partner is more interested with what I’m doing to him and loses interest in stimulating me. It can also be uncomfortable. Any suggestions on how to make 69ers a bit more satisfying?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I want to stop taking the Pill because it doesn’t agree with me. I’ve tried taking different types and I’m not suitable for a coil, so the obvious alternative is for my partner to wear condoms. I don’t mind condoms, but he can’t stand them and is making a huge deal of it. He says he’d rather not have sex than have sex using one. We now haven’t had sex for two months and neither of us are budging. I’ve been responsible for our contraception for the last 15 years, why can’t he see how selfish he’s being?

2) Since nursing my first baby, I haven’t been able to experience my breasts as sexual. I’m now divorced and have a second child who is two years old. 

I’m seeing someone and want to get sexual, but I still have this block with my breasts. I really used to enjoy having breast play, now they feel like they have a different (utilitarian) job. I associate them with feeding my babies, and I don’t know how to switch back. How do I get past this? How do I feel sexual again?

3) Tracey, I know you are porn-positive but I wanted to check if my porn viewing habits are normal. I’m a straight women and while I have nothing against women having sex with women, I have no desire to do it in real life. Yet, I almost exclusively watch lesbian porn. I asked one other female friend and she said that’s what she watches as well. Is this usual?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m 40 and out here dating men again after an amicable divorce. I’ve been using dating apps and hooked up with two guys using them. I ended up having sex with both men, even though I didn’t really want to. I’m not quite sure how the dating apps work: are you obliged to have sex if you meet up with someone through them? Should I tell the guy beforehand that I might not be up for sex and just want to hang out? In both cases, it felt like sex was what we were both meeting up for and I went through with it because I didn’t want to look stupid—like I didn’t know the score. It felt kind of rude not to. I didn’t feel great afterward, and I don’t want a repeat but I do know I probably need to use the apps to meet someone. Help! What are the rules?

2) I have a weird, disturbing sexual fantasy that I play in my head to make me orgasm when I masturbate. It never fails to get me going—but I hate that it does. Is it possible to reset your sexual fantasies? I don’t understand why something that repulses me when I’m not turned on, arouses me sexually?

3) For the last few weeks, I’ve been having dreams about my husband being unfaithful. They’re so powerful and real, I wake up feeling hurt and furious with him. Even when I realize it’s just a dream, the anger and resentment stays. It hovers for days at a time. He’s never been unfaithful in real life, but these dreams persist. I wonder if it’s my subconscious telling me something. Should I be worried he really is about to cheat? I haven’t mentioned anything to him yet because it seems silly, but he’s noticed that I’m a bit off with him.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m a recovering alcoholic and up until 49, had never had sex sober. I’m now in a relationship (been together three years) and overall, we are both happy. The problem is we are very different types when it comes to sex. He is adventurous, I’m not (since I’ve been sober). He’s talked before about how good sex was with his ex-partners (they did anal play and more). I now dread having sex because I think he is bored. I was open to role-play but after several attempts (which I thought went well), it seems to have died a quick death. I don’t mind giving him a BJ, but he says I don’t get it right. Last night, we were chatting about life’s ups and downs, and I asked him if I disappointed him and he reluctantly said, yes, in bed. I don’t want us to split up over this as I can’t see life without him, but I don’t know how to handle it anymore.

2) My partner uses Viagra to make his erections stronger and I’m keen to try it. I’ve read some online stories of women who claim it makes sex feel better—as in they felt like it more. Is it safe, and what should I expect if I do try it?

3) I’m a 33-year-old straight woman and in a new relationship. I’m loving this guy out of bed, but not in it. There’s nothing wrong with his lovemaking skills, but he is obsessed with my orgasms. When he’s giving me oral sex or using his fingers on me, he spends the whole time asking if he’s doing it right and whether I’m going to come yet. Needless to say, I often don’t with all this interruption. When I don’t orgasm (I gave up faking years ago), he gets paranoid. Questions me about what he did wrong and how can he make sure he gets it right next time. I suppose in one sense I should be pleased he cares, but it doesn’t feel like this is about my pleasure, more his ego. How can I get him to stop?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) My husband and I have been married for almost 15 years. Now that our children aren't babies anymore our sex life is being resurrected from the dead and better than ever. My husband has expressed an interest in me pegging him. I'll try anything once, especially since it's his hole and not mine. I'm writing to ask for pointers. What do I need to know? How can I make this more enjoyable for him? Tracey, do you have a book chapter on this? I'm so grateful this is anonymous!! I'm not willing to bring this up with my girlfriends.

2) We’ve moved houses and made friends with our neighbors who are the same age as us (early 40s). Their bedroom is near ours and we can hear them having sex. We were quite happy with our sex life, but now feel boring. They have sex for ages and make a lot of noise. They haven’t been together as long as us (15 years compared to their 2 years) but it’s still making us feel uncomfortable.

3) My husband of 20 years handed me his phone recently to look up information online while he was busy making dinner. While I was at it, I noticed that he's got the same period calendar installed as I have. Later, I took a closer look and saw that it had information about my cycle. That's fine, but he also has been putting notes on the calendar about our sex life and his masturbation habits. He writes comments like if I had an orgasm or if I finished by masturbating and who initiated, and—rightly noted by him—it's almost always me. It's like he's bookkeeping our intimacy. This also revealed to me that he masturbates way more than I knew: about 15 times a month in addition to the days we have sex together (which is about once a week). I feel like I want to confront him with this, but I'm reluctant to do it because I'm not sure how I feel about it. This didn't strike me well, but now I'm not so sure. Isn't this creepy?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) Even when I've had plenty of foreplay and I'm certain I'm turned on, when my partner first enters me it's like he's stuck for a moment. It’s like my vagina won't let him in. He’s able to ease in after a few seconds and intercourse is great after that. It doesn't hurt, but I find it a bit awkward and confusing because I'm not sure what's going on. It’s like he's hitting a wall. Do you have any thoughts? This has happened with multiple people, so the problem is clearly me. I’m 30.

2) I’ve been with my partner for 12 years and our sex life is pretty good, but we don’t do it that frequently. Twice a month is all we manage. A friend passed on an old book called 365 Nights where a couple has sex every single day to revamp their sex life. They had sex no matter what. It’s a very interesting read, and I’m tempted to give it a go. Maybe not every day, but every second day. Good or bad idea?

3) My partner won’t have sex unless she has a shower first. I’m all for hygiene, but I like the smell of her before she’s showered, not after. Then I can smell when she’s aroused—she gives off a scent that really turns me on. Post-shower she smells of nothing. I’ve told her this, but she still insists on doing it. How can I change her mind?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A brand-new season of SexTok will return on February 14. In the meantime, enjoy some popular episodes from the archives.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) Why can’t my husband change the way he approaches me for sex? He gives me this look that makes me want to run away…it’s primal, and it doesn’t feel good. I want him to start by just holding me and listening to me, but he says that isn’t what he wants at that time. Please help us with our communication!

2) I’d love to know what you think of my situation. I’ve been with my partner for five years. We’re a straight couple and in our late 30s. It took me a long time to find a partner, and I worry that I compromised too much in the end. We get on okay, but I don’t feel passionate about him and I worry I am with him because it’s lonely being single. Our relationship seems based more on friendship than love.

3) You’ve talked a lot about women going off sex on this podcast, but I have the opposite issue. My long-term partner has completely lost interest in me sexually and we haven’t had sex for three years. When I try to talk about it, he looks embarrassed and fobs me off and says he doesn’t want to talk about it. I am in my late 40s and keep myself looking good. I feel humiliated that he doesn’t find me sexually attractive anymore. All my other friends have husbands who hassle them for sex and I can’t get mine to look at me naked.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://sextokpod.com/anonymous-questions

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A brand-new season of SexTok will return on February 14. In the meantime, enjoy some popular episodes from the archives.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I am having an emotional affair with one of my coworkers. I’ve been married for almost 10 years and although I know this isn’t right, it’s making me feel alive again. Every part of me wants to sleep with this man but I don’t want to hurt my husband’s feelings, and I don’t want it to ruin my marriage. But I have a deep desire to have this experience. What is your advice? It seems like both choices will hurt.

2) I’m dating a man with a small penis. It’s not a problem for me because intercourse is my least favorite thing about sex, and I orgasm easily through oral sex. But I can tell he’s paranoid about it and it’s making me feel uncomfortable. It’s the elephant in the room. I think he’s desperate to talk about it but I’m not sure how to broach the topic. I can’t just say, ‘Hey, so your penis is really small. Do you want to talk about that?’

3) I enjoy having sex but not without having a glass of wine or cocktail before. I used to be able to get in the mood, but now I need to be a bit tipsy? Is this okay?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://sextokpod.com/anonymous-questions

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A brand-new season of SexTok will return on February 14. In the meantime, enjoy some popular episodes from the archives.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) You talk a lot about how most women have their orgasms through oral sex, but I’ve had more than one girlfriend push me away when I try to go down on her. They say they just aren’t into it. Is this true, or are there other reasons they aren’t telling me?

2) I’m a 48-year-old woman and have been happily married for 12 years, but am feeling destabilized. I’ve made a new female friend, and I am more than a little obsessed with her husband. He is everything my husband isn’t: good-looking, successful, sporty. My husband is a lovely man, but he doesn’t tick any of these boxes. I’m now having sexual fantasies about this guy. It’s making me feel miserable and I’m starting to avoid having sex with my husband.

3) Can you tell me the difference between anal play and anal sex? I wish they would call it by something else because then I would be more interested in it. I hear about it all the time now, but I’m not even sure what anal play means.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://sextokpod.com/anonymous-questions

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A brand-new season of SexTok will return on February 14. In the meantime, enjoy some popular episodes from the archives.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) After a few relationships in my twenties, I have enjoyed ten years of being (voluntarily) single, but am now looking to meet someone new. I’m keen for my next relationship to have open, honest communication around sex. I know it’s easier to start as you mean to go on, so I’d like to ask when and how I can start to set this precedent?

2) I'm a 42 year-old female and it has always taken me ages to orgasm; but, once I've had an orgasm I'm so sensitized I can't be touched...anywhere. As a result, I generally just fake it for my partner so he orgasms, and always feel unsatisfied. Is this normal, or is there something I can do to desensitize myself?

3) I’m 46 and back dating after a messy divorce. I was married for 20 years and feeling a bit nervous about it all. My main concern is safe sex. I’m on the Pill so protected against pregnancy, but should I be using a condom? I didn’t like using them in my 20s, but maybe they’ve changed now. What’s the etiquette? Do I bring some with me? Should I suggest it, or wait for him to? How likely is it to catch anything later in life?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://sextokpod.com/anonymous-questions

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m 36 and just started a relationship with a man I really like. He’s more experienced than me—he’s had lots of relationships, and I’ve only had two long-term relationships. Because of that, I tend to leave it up to him to initiate sex and take the lead in bed. He mentioned recently that it would be great if I was the one to suggest sex now and then. I want to do it, but I’ve never initiated sex before. Can you give me some practical suggestions?

2) My partner and I love your show! You talk a lot about power games and how they can add excitement. We get the concept that one person is dominant and one submissive, but what do we actually do? Can you give us some scenarios of what we might try?

3) My boyfriend is slim and I’m a generous size 16. I’m confident with my curves, though I have the odd day where I worry about being bigger than my boyfriend. He constantly tells me I am his ultimate fantasy and is always commenting on my curves and saying how sexy my body is. I just have to touch him and he gets hard. Should I be worried that I’m being fetishized for being bigger? My boyfriend has asked if I would stand in front of him while he pleasures himself. It feels strange not to be actively participating in his pleasure and just to stand in front naked. Is this normal?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) How do you have a cervical orgasm? I’ve heard Kelsey talk about it and I’m intrigued. How do you do it? It sounds quite full on and intense and I want to have one!

2) I’m a 36-year-old straight woman and feel like I’m a boring lover. How can I be wilder in bed? I’ve done all the usual things—oral sex, different intercourse positions, hand jobs, BJs—but nothing beyond that. I don’t even know what else there is to do! I’m so vanilla! Can you give me some ideas of what to try and how to get over the embarrassment I feel when trying out new things?

3) I enjoy sex with my girlfriend but I don’t like to lie and cuddle afterwards. It’s not that I don’t love her, I just feel irritable and anxious after I’ve had an orgasm. I’m not sure why. I’ve asked my male friends and it doesn’t happen to them.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I thought I’d never have to stare at a strange ceiling again, but here I am: newly separated and back out there again. I had a healthy amount of sexual experience before my marriage, but I’ve slept with no one but my husband for 25 years (I’m 52). I’m a confident person, but the thought of sleeping with someone new terrifies me. Can you give me some dos and don’ts of first-time sex with a new lover to help me through?

2) I’m a 29-year-old straight man and I need your help Tracey! I don’t think I am very good at giving women hand jobs. There’s a distinct lack of enthusiasm, and they seem too eager to move onto other things. What could I be doing wrong? Do I go there too soon? Am I too rough? I ask if she’s enjoying it, and most women say 'yes' even though I can tell they’re lying.

3) I’m sure you get this question every day: how do I make myself want sex more? Every guy I’ve been with wants sex more than me. I want to have a high libido, but, apart from at the beginning I don’t think I do. Can I change that?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) My son is 25 and I’m 44. I split from his father soon after he was born and we are very close. He still lives at home and often has friends around, all of which I know well. Here’s the part I need advice on: one of his friends has a crush on me and it's flattering. I’ve seen him watching me and he flirts a lot, but he told me recently that he can’t stop thinking about me and would I consider a relationship with him. He didn’t make it clear if it was just sex or whether he saw a future. I haven’t had sex or a date in such a long time and am very tempted to say yes. But what would my son say and think? Is this the stupidest idea I’ve ever had? I feel like I deserve some fun after raising my son solo.

2) Is there ever a time when you would suggest a couple take a break from sex? I feel like we’ve got into some bad habits and need to hit the reset button.

3) I split with my ex (his choice, not mine) three years ago. It was an extremely volatile relationship. I’ve had relationships since then, but no one has come close to matching the chemistry I had with him. Will I ever find it again? How do I get over pining for him and have this feeling again with someone else? 

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.