Here to talk about the unique challenges that come from pregnancy and postpartum with multiples is the founder of Gold Coast Doulas, Kristin Revere.

In this episode we explore:

- What exactly is a doula and how can doulas be helpful for expecting and postpartum parents, especially for those with multiples?

- Understanding the emotional, physical, and logistical stress associated with having twins or triplets.

- Resources that are available and insurance coverage options broken down for those seeking access to doula care (whether you're having one baby or more).

- A framework—including the most important questions to ask—when looking for a doula that can meet your family's unique needs and best support you.

- The difference between a night nurse and a postpartum doula and what to consider to determine what type of care would be best for your family.

- Baby registry tips, postpartum strategies, and what an average day with a doula supporting multiples may look like.

If you've ever wondered what a doula does and how they can help, especially if you're expecting multiples, this conversation is for you!

SHOW NOTES:

(link)

LEARN MORE ABOUT KRISTIN & GOLD COAST DOULAS:

https://www.goldcoastdoulas.com/

READ HER BOOK:

📚 Supported: Your Guide to Birth and Baby by Kristin Revere and Alyssa Veneklase

LISTEN TO HER PODCAST:

🎧 Ask The Doulas Podcast

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

Fertility, birth, and postpartum insurance and care resources:

- Carrot

- Progyny

- Maven

- Tricare

- MomsBloom

🤳 DOWNLOAD my free postpartum mental health checklist

💻 WATCH my free workshop, Confident Parenting from the Start, to get tools and strategies that you can put into practice right away to challenge self-doubt, put an end to your panic-Googling, and finally find the ease and enjoyment in early parenthood!

👉🏻 JOIN ME in The Authentic Parent, my comprehensive self-paced course that takes my workshop to the next level and teaches you everything you need to know (that no one tells you ahead of time) for how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Maternal mental health throughout pregnancy and parenthood with birth doula Carson Meyer

🎧 Rethinking the birth plan: How to create a plan with your OBGYN that supports resilience and reduces anxiety with Dr. Shieva Ghofrany

🎧 NICU survival guide: Establishing a secure attachment even when your child is in the hospital with the founders of NICU Nook

🎧 Beyond postpartum depression: A breakdown of all PMADs

🎧 Becoming a grandparent: Embracing the complicated identity shifts that come when your baby has a baby with Carol Merle- Fishman

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- Dr. Rebecca shares how she made the decision of whether or not to send her own two children to sleep-away camp. (Spoiler: She chose to send her older child, not her younger son.)

- The logistical and financial pointers to think of that can potentially buy you some extra time to make this decision. 

- Is it better to send them when they're not ready, or hold them back for a year and risk the potential consequences? Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca share what they suggest parents do if you're on the fence.

- The developmental milestones and skills you want to look for to help you decide if your kid may be ready for camp.

- Should you send your kid to sleep-away camp? It all boils down to a simple-single answer (a Beyond the Sessions first!)

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- What are the advantages of telehealth appointments and the ability to do virtual sessions from anywhere.

- Do the full range of emotions and subtle nuances get lost when you're talking through a screen? (Spoiler: Our brains fill in so much it often feels like we're in the same room.)

- What to consider to determine if virtual therapy may not be the best option for you.

- The different levels of interventions and the types of support that can match up with each.

- If you are doing virtual therapy, how to maximize the experience and specific strategies to implement to make your sessions most effective.

- What is the difference between therapy and mental health coaching and what are the different rules for each based on the state you live in.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring our therapy and coaching support services, feel free to reach out to us at Upshur Bren Psychology Group for a free 15-minute consultation so we can suggest a treatment plan for your unique needs.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about newborn sleep with Greer Kirshenbaum

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about staying mindful in postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Kira Bartlett

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about going back to work after maternity leave with Lauren Smith Brody

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- Unpacking what "shy" really means and exploring the space between shyness and social anxiety.

- When to encourage your child and push them out of their comfort zone versus when it's better to respect their boundaries.

- Thinking of shyness as a feeling and not a character trait - plus a script for how to articulate that distinction to your child.

- Why young children may act more shy around other kids, especially in environments like a playground.

- The different levels of support you can use to stretch your child with specific real-world examples of how this may sound and play out.

- Saying hello is a common struggle many "shy kids" face. We're discussing whether or not you should force them to say hello.

- Different parenting approaches and strategies to try based on your child's age.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why birthday parties may be challenging for your child

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

In honor of ADHD Awareness Month, we're talking about how mindfulness can reduce symptoms of ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska.

In this episode we explore:

- Does having ADHD make it harder to engage in mindfulness and meditation practices? (Spoiler: Yes, but there are things we can do about that!)

- What the research reveals about mindfulness in teens and adults with ADHD and the science of how a mindfulness practice strengthens neurological deficits in the brain.

- Parenthood requires so much executive functioning, sensory stimulation, and stress, so often this is when the strategies we've been using to manage symptoms of ADHD fall apart.

- Concrete strategies, like the best time of day, introducing aspects of physicality, and logistical considerations for how to incorporate mindfulness practice into your life when sitting still feels too difficult or daunting.

- Tips for identifying what helps you personally feel less flooded that can serve as your go-to's when things start to feel scattered, stuck, or overwhelming.

- The importance of self-compassion in mindfulness and how this is an often overlooked, yet key piece of mindfulness practices.

If you're curious about how mindfulness can make a real difference for those with ADHD, this episode is a must-listen!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. LIDIA:

https://lidiazylowska.com/

READ LIDIA'S BOOKS:

📚 The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD: An 8-Step Program for Strengthening Attention, Managing Emotions, and Achieving Your Goals

📚 Mindfulness for Adult ADHD: A Clinician's Guide

WATCH LIDIA'S YOUTUBE VIDEOS:

💻 MindfulRxADHD

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 ADDitude

👉🏻 Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD)

👉🏻 Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA)

GET MORE SUPPORT:

👉🏻 Go to upshurbren.com if you're interested in resources for you or your child with ADHD, including individual, group, parenting support, and neuropsychological evaluation services tailored to your unique needs.

CHECK ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 The benefits of mindfulness: How to use this practice for ourselves and our children with Diana Winston

🎧 The science of "mom-rage" and how to use mindfulness as a as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston

🎧 ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell

🎧 How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious?

Get science-backed strategies to raise kids who are compassionate, kind, and successful in today's chaotic world with Melinda Wenner Moyer.

In this episode, we explore:

- How becoming a parent shifted Melinda's attention to applying science and research to answer her most pressing parenting questions

- One of the most surprising and counterintuitive things Melinda learned when she started to dig into the research on parenting.

- How to approach challenging topics, like race, authentically and in age-appropriate ways without needing a "script."

- Diving into Carol Dweck's research study using fixed vs growth mindset language with kids and how it affected their perseverance (Spoiler: Kids who were given fixed mindset messaging showed less resilience.) 

- Why kids lie, the best ways we can respond when they do, and how this can impact how likely they are to be open with us as they get older.

- How attachment security impacts our kid's ability to be confident, curious, flexible, and compassionate 

If you're looking to raise kind, resilient kids who feel safe being honest with you, this conversation is filled with insights to help you make that happen!

LEARN MORE ABOUT MELINDA:

https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/

READ MELINDA'S BOOKS:

📚 How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting--from Tots to Teens

📚 Hello, Cruel World!: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times

JOIN MELINDA'S SUBSTACK:

📖 Is My Kid the Asshole?

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@melindawmoyer and @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES FROM THE EPISODE:

1. Read more about Carol Dweck

2. Watch the Instagram reel we talk about: Teaching my boomer mom about gentle parenting 

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Raising conscious kids: A thoughtful exploration of bias, cultural identity, and diversity with Dr. Dana E. Crawford

🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman

🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles: What the research actually says are the best ways to teach our children with Dr. Dan Willingham

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- Unpacking what you consider to be a "chore" versus what is just an expectation of your child as a member of the household.

- How do you teach your child to do chores (and why you may need to remind them to do it over and over and over again!)

- At what age is it appropriate to expect your child to be able to accomplish tasks like chores?

- How to take advantage of routines when it comes to setting expectations and creating habits with your child.

- Being intentional about looking for opportunities where your child can help out that are aligned with your family values.

- Will giving chores decrease your child's intrinsic motivation? (And why it's not so black and white)

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about unlocking motivation with Dr. Ellen Braaten

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about balancing the load of parenthood with Lauren A. Tetenbaum

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that busts positive parenting myths with Tracy Gillett

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Let's revisit the foundation of raising securely attached kids! I'm bringing back one of my first ever episodes to help parents understand the basics of how a secure attachment bond impacts children's resilience, confidence, and overall well-being.

Tune in to hear:

- What secure attachment is and how it plays a key role in nurturing a child's confidence, curiosity, and ability to handle life's ups and downs.

- The powerful influence of feeling safe and seen on a child's ability to be honest, adaptable, and resilient.

- Practical strategies for fostering secure attachment, no matter the age of your child.

- How attachment affects a child's development into a compassionate, kind individual who can build meaningful relationships throughout their life.

This episode offers science-backed insights and actionable tips and is a must-listen for all parents!

SHOW NOTES:

(link)

INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT SCIENCE?

Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH:

https://drsarahbren.com/

FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:

https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan

🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- Is it developmentally appropriate for my 3-year-old to start to mimic their friends' behaviors?

- How to approach differences when our kid's friends or our family friends have different rules and limits than we do.

- A conversation you can have with your child after they spend time with their friend and you start to see behaviors that you do not allow in your house - and how these can lead to larger conversations about peer pressure as they get older.

- Zooming back to determine what your larger goals are will help you know what to focus on and what to let go of.

- If you've ever wondered, "How can I get my kid to listen to me, especially in a highly exciting situation?" we'll give you a precursor that you may be skipping that could help!

- Dr. Rebecca shares her #1 golden rule of all child playdates.

- Dr. Sarah shares her 4 S's for how to make playdates most successful.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about appropriate consequences when your child doesn't listen to you

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using consequences intended teach, not punish your child

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Kim Mishkin is here to shed light on Project-Based Learning, an education model that encourages kids to explore, problem-solve, and collaborate in ways that tap into their natural curiosity and interests.

In this episode we explore:

- What Project-Based Learning (PBL) is and how it differs from the standard American education model.

- The origins of the PBL model and what current research reveals about its efficacy for educating kids? 

- Why allowing children to help shape the direction of their curriculum reinforces their motivation to learn and fosters curiosity.

- How core academic subjects like reading, writing, and math are covered with a PBL approach.

- Will kids who have been educated in a PBL elementary and middle-school be able to successfully transition to a standard American academic high-school or college environment?

- Ways parents can integrate elements of the PBL approach into everyday life, helping to build critical thinking and curiosity in their children, even outside a PBL school.

If you're curious about alternative education models or looking for ways to inspire a love of learning in your child, this conversation is packed with insights you won't want to miss!

LEARN MORE ABOUT HUDSON LAB SCHOOL:

https://www.hudsonlabschool.com/

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 PBL Works

📚 Project Based Learning (PBL) Starter Kit

🎥 Most Likely to Succeed

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles: What the research actually says are the best ways to teach our children with Dr. Dan Willingham

🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 Fostering independent play and a love of learning with Lizzie Assa

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- How to incorporate the parenting knowledge you've acquired without losing sight of your own gut instincts. 

- Understanding what your job as a parent is when your child feels thwarted (and why making them stop yelling might not be your true end goal)

- Unpacking the underlying question of: What do I do if my child is screaming volitionally as a manipulation tactic?

- Whether your child is in a full-blown tantrum or just slightly dysregulated, the key strategies for addressing their underlying struggle.

- How to respond to the behaviors (like yelling, eating, spitting, etc.) that you have no true control over.

- How to find that middle space between not making your child feel responsible for your feelings without having to abandon all your own needs.

👉🏻 GET MY ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR COMBATTING TANTRUMS:

Learn exactly how to reduce the frequency, intensity and duration of your child's tantrums in my self-paced course, The Science of Tantrums.

📚 READ Rebecca's book on managing your child's tantrums, The Tantrum Survival Guide

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT DYSREGULATION:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a "threenager"

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a step-by-step guide for changing your child's behavior

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode answering the question: does teaching my kid to punch a pillow when they're mad make them more aggressive?

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Pediatrician Dr. Caity Gilman is here to shed light on the facts surrounding vaccines and address common concerns and questions she hears most often from parents in her practice, like:

- Does the measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine cause autism? (Spoiler: No, vaccines do not cause autism.)

- Do I need to vaccinate my child based on my pediatrician's suggested schedule?

- What are the risks of stopping administering vaccines to children?

- If vaccines are so good, why don't we have them for more things, like the common cold?

- Is it really necessary to get a flu shot every year?

- Are people given the actual disease when they get a vaccine? If so, then why not just get the illness itself and let my immune system learn to fight it?

- Should you give your baby Tylenol before a vaccine so the shot hurts less?

If you've ever had questions or felt unsure about vaccines, this episode is packed with helpful, expert-driven insights. Dr. Gilman's thoughtful, research-backed approach is sure to leave you feeling more informed and empowered!

SHOW NOTES:

(link)

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

1. American Academy of Pediatrics: Immunizations

2. American Academy of Pediatrics :Examine the Evidence

3. CDC: Vaccines for Children

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 How mold, Lyme, pesticides, and other toxins may be impacting your child's physical and mental health with Dr. Pejman Katiraei

🎧 How to ease your childs anxiety for doctors visits with pediatrician Dr. Rachel Geronemus

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- Dysregulation isn't just a result of negative emotions, kids can also become dysregulated from positive emotions too.

- Embracing your child's excitement before you help them start to down-regulate can be a more successful (and fun) strategy.

- Specific strategies for transitioning your child from those big, exciting moments into calming down in a way that is targeted to their development and nervous system.

- The key questions to ask yourself to help you determine exactly how to pick and choose your parenting battles when it comes to family gatherings.

- The difference between structured and unstructured playtime - and the pros and cons of each.

- Our mom-tips for an activity that is helpful and containing for kids who have "buzzy energy" in these situations.

- How to "pre-regulate" your child before they become dysregulated.

REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🎧 How do I stop my child from picking up his friend's bad behaviors?

🎧 Why are birthday parties so hard for my kid?

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the psychology of dyregulation with Cara Goodwin

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how Polyvagal Theory teaches us to calm our nervous system with Seth Porges

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me today is Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown to share the science behind why sleep is so essential, how to adapt sleep strategies for those with neurodiverse brains, and practical tips for tackling common sleep challenges.

In this episode, we explore:

- The science of why sleep is so important and foundational for children (spoiler: it's tied to growth, brain development, immune system regulation, emotion management, and more!)

- The inadvertent mistake many parents make (that even Dr. Funke made with her own son) when they don't properly understand the different phases of childhood sleep.

- What the research reveals about the sleep architecture and the quality of sleep for kids with neurodiverse brains. (And why it's not just about quantity.)

- Behavioral cues and environmental strategies you can use to shift your child's circadian rhythm.

- Why "catching up on sleep" during the weekend actually works against your child.

- Breaking down the R.I.S.E. U.P. Protocol to help both kids and parents wake up easier and stop feeling the urge to hit snooze one more time. 

- The association of ADHD with mouth breathing during sleep and whether or not you should consider physical therapy for mouth breathers.

- When you may want to consider getting a sleep evaluation for your child and what you can expect from a sleep test.

Don't miss this deep dive into the science of sleep, actionable tips for better rest, and strategies to help your whole family thrive!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. FUNKE:

https://www.therestfulsleepplace.com/

READ DR. FUNKE'S BOOK:

📚 Beyond Tired: A Sleep Physician's Guide to Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems for Good

WATCH DR. FUNKE'S YOUTUBE VIDEOS:

💻 RestfulSleepMD

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@restfulsleepmd and @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

The sunrise clock Dr. Sarah uses to make waking up easier for her

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 How to make mindfulness more "user-friendly" for parents with ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska

🎧 ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell

🎧 Parenting with the "Whole-Brain": How to work with the brain rather than fight against with Dr. Dan Siegel

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- A quick breakdown of Baumrind's 4 parenting styles: Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive, and Neglectful.

• If you want to learn more, check out episode 39 where we dive deeper into parenting styles.

- How to use "high love and high limits" as your compass for helping you know how to raise healthy kids.

- Why the pattern so many parents find themselves in is:

authoritative ➡️ permissive ➡️ authoritarian (and how to break this cycle!) 

- Knowing the difference between being permissive and making a conscious and intentional choice not to pick this battle.

- The subtle shift in how you frame an intentional pivot to your child so your actions are still authoritative when you are "giving in."

- How to change your mind without teaching your child that they can get you to cave and that your limits are unreliable. 

- When your child refuses to take a bath, brush their teeth, wants more water after bedtime, and asks for candy before breakfast - how to be authoritative in all of these situations.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 What can I do when all the "rules" for setting limits don't work for my sensitive kid?

🎧 How to move out of power struggles and into cooperation with Jen Lumanlan

🎧 How to use the principles of attachment science to make parenting easier

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Motherhood comes with immense challenges, but when mothers come together, they can spark transformative change. In this inspiring episode, Erin Erenberg, founder of Totum Women and co-founder of the Chamber of Mothers, shares her journey becoming a powerful advocate for maternal rights.

In this episode, we explore:

- Erin's personal and professional journey that inspired her to empower and support mothers.

- The Chamber of Mothers mission: Uniting mothers as advocates to create a better America.

- How this bipartisan group is working to include "point of view diversity" and bridge mothers across all sides of the aisle.

- How the Chamber of Mothers plans to work with the upcoming administration to continue fighting for the rights of all mothers in America.

- What is galvanizing the people who are still motivated, and how to fight any feelings of dread people may be experiencing.

- Strategies for accessing accurate information and taking care of ourselves in an overwhelming time of political divide.

Learn how to join a movement that's not only advocating for mothers but creating a brighter future for the next generation!

LEARN MORE ABOUT ERIN ERENBERG:

https://www.totumwomen.com/blogs/news/more-on-our-founder

LEARN MORE ABOUT CHAMBER OF MOTHERS:

https://chamberofmothers.com/

JOIN A LOCAL CHAMBER:

https://chamberofmothers.com/local-chapters/ 

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

Chamber of Mothers: @chamberofmothers

Dr. Sarah Bren: @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

1. Moms Demand Action - https://momsdemandaction.org/

2. Vote Mama - https://www.votemama.org/ 

3. National Women's Law Center - https://nwlc.org/

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Motherhood as advocacy: A conversation about paid family leave, abortion access and gun reform with Raena Boston

🎧 Turning parenthood into a career asset for working moms and dads with The Fifth Trimester's Lauren Smith Brody

🎧 The pressures of motherhood in our society: And how we can come together to feel less alone with Alexis Barad-Cutler

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- Bullying is often an expression of pain, so leading with compassion for your child is often your best entry point.

- How to readjust your goal, rather than just trying to shut down your child's behaviors, for a higher likelihood of getting through to them.

- Examples of real-life scenarios that middle school girls may be experiencing and how to navigate them.

- The most common reasons middle schoolers act this way, so you can help you identify what the root cause may be to help you get to the heart of the matter.

- Conversation starters you can use to prevent your child from getting defensive and shutting down.

- At some point, this moves beyond exploring your child's feelings and these behaviors simply need to stop - when and how to transition to this point.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection in toddlerhood

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection in early adolescence

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child learn to foster secure friendships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to talk to your teen with Elizabeth Bennett

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Discover the impacts of EdTech in schools and how parents can advocate for their children's education with technology attorney Andy Liddell

- What EdTech is and how technology like iPads and Chromebooks are being integrated into classrooms.

- The hidden dangers of screens on the learning experience, what is at risk when hands-on learning is replaced by more passive educational experiences, and how to optimize information retention, critical thinking, and problem-solving skills.

- The role of big tech in surveillance capitalism, persuasive design, and selling children's data.

- How much control do schools have over blocking and restricting content on school-issued devices? (Spoiler: Most technology comes with no restrictions in place.)

- How tech in classrooms is displacing social interactions, interfering with relationship development, overstimulating vulnerable children, and putting stress on an already fragile system.

- What parents can do to teach media literacy, advocate for their child's privacy, and push for more thoughtful use of technology in schools

If you're concerned or just curious about the influence of technology on your child's learning and development, this conversation is packed with strategies and insights to help you navigate these challenges with confidence and purpose.

LEARN MORE ABOUT ANDY & EDTECH LAW CENTER:

https://edtech.law/

REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

1. Read the research on EdTech conducted by Jared Cooney Horvath, PhD, MEd

2. Social Media Victims Law Center

3. Wait Until 8th 

4. Fairplay

5. Everyschool

6. Social Studies Documentary 

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte

🎧 The battle over screen time: Helping our children form a healthy relationship to technology with Emily Cherkin/

🎧 Have phones displaced our ability to play and have fun? How to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- Breaking down the different strategies you'd use with kids whether this is a single one-off big fight, or if conflict is more prevalent in your home.

- What a conversation with your child might sound like and how to adapt it to be most authentic to you.

- Specific things to do in order to lessen the negative impact of parental conflict on your kids.

- How to help your child make sense of what happened in a narrative that allows them to understand they are safe and the fight wasn't their fault.

- A developmentally appropriate way to share with your child that sometimes the people we love the most are the ones that we get into the biggest arguments with.

- How to reassure and repair with a baby ore very young child who is still too little to understand your words.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about creating a thriving partnership with Dr. Suzanne Burger

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding parental dysregulation with Dr. Amber Thornton

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about resolving conflicts with Dr. Rick Hanson

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Discover how to use the power of play to strengthen your child's emotional regulation and foster meaningful connection, with Dr. Abbré McClain and Dr. Jacqueline Salazar.

In this episode, we explore:

- How play and relationships can be foundational elements for teaching kids emotional regulation skills.

- Why coregulation doesn't have to be so serious and can be employed through play and playfulness.

- The therapeutic function of play interventions and how they work in play therapy.

- How to adapt play strategies for different developmental stages and unique children.

- Why playing with your kids is different from entertaining them, and how child-led play can be less exhausting for parents.

- Quality over quantity: How even small moments of playfulness can make a big difference in strengthening parent-child bonds.

If you're looking for practical ways to build emotional regulation skills while bringing more joy and connection into your family's life, this episode is filled with actionable insights to get you started!

LEARN MORE ABOUT:

• Dr. Abbré McClain

• Dr. Jacqueline Salazar

READ THEIR BOOK:

📚 The Self-Regulation Workbook for 3- to 5-Year-Olds: Play-Based and Creative Activities to Build Coping Skills and Handle Big Emotions

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@chicago.wellness.center

📱 @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play, to help your child learn to calm their brains and bodies.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton

🎧 Supporting our children's emotional regulation and sensory processing experiences: With occupational therapist Laura Petix

🎧 The psychology behind dysregulation with Cara Goodwin

🎧 Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- Translating the question: I don't want a sibling may actually just mean, "I miss you."

- Zooming back to assess the environmental factors that may be taxing your child, especially when there are a lot of transitions and changes going on.

- How to change the narrative in your young child's mind so they don't associate losing quality time with Mommy and Daddy to having more siblings.

- When to simply validate your child's feelings and when to know if it's time to try to make some changes.

- A script of exactly what you can say to help your child feel more contained and regulated in these moments.

- Why helping your child feel seen in the moment can foster their secure attachment, which may end up indirectly solving the problems you're experiencing.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about secure attachment and growth mindset with Melinda Wenner Moyer

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to work with the brain rather than fight against with Dr. Dan Siegel

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether it's bad to "baby" the baby

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Neha Ruch is sharing strategies for embracing flexibility as you balance, shift, and grow in both your career and parenthood.

In this episode we explore:

- How to redefine what "career" means to you at this stage of life and navigate the evolving roles of being a working or stay-at-home parent.

- Why downshifting your career can be a valuable smaller step if you're not ready to take a full pause.

- Preparing for this transition to feel less overwhelming—emotionally, financially, and in terms of your shifting identity.

- Supporting women in feeling validated and respected in their choices to dial up or down in their careers.

- How motherhood can be a time to foster creativity and the importance of staying connected to what brings you joy—whether it's for work or personal fulfillment.

- A good first step for moms who don't know where to begin in making this shift.

- What a "family administration" meeting is and how to evaluate what's working and what's not—giving yourself permission to let go of what isn't serving you.

Don't miss this episode that will help you redefine what career means to you!

LEARN MORE ABOUT NEHA:

https://www.motheruntitled.com/

READ NEHA'S NEW BOOK:

📚 The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🎧 Listen to Neha's first Securely Attached episode, Redefining what it means to be a stay-at-home parent with Neha Ruch

📱 I sang my sister's praise in this episode! Check out @mychicnest to follow along with her interior design account.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Going back to work after baby: Maintaining a healthy and secure attachment bond Q&A with Dr. Emily Upshur

🎧 Turning parenthood into a career asset for working moms and dads with The Fifth Trimester's Lauren Smith Brody

🎧 What it means to be a working parent today: Challenging parental guilt, managing your time, and setting effective boundaries with Daisy Dowling

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- Unpacking your own feelings about swearing (or any undesirable behaviors) your child is engaging in.

- How to teach your child to attune to their environment and know when and where certain behaviors are appropriate and when and where they are not.

- Zooming out to identify what your child's intention is when they are swearing (to test boundaries, in anger, in silly moments, etc.) to help you know how to respond.

- When and how to use strategies that have the greatest likelihood of getting this behavior to stop.

- A playful script that can defuse the tension and keep you from feeling triggered. 

- The big differences to the approaches you may want to try based on who is the recipient of inappropriate or hurtful language.

- How to get your children to disengage from each other's negative behaviors, instead of being fueled by each other.

- How Dr. Sarah and Dr. Emily handle swearing in their own homes with their kids.

- The benefits of swearing that may surprise you.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

• Swearing may be a sign of a higher intelligence

• Cursing can increase pain tolerance 

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when kids say they hate themselves

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when kids say they hate you

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about enforcing consequences that teach

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

A deep dive on combating parental burnout to start off 2025 with more balance.

In this episode I dive deep into…

- Understanding what parental burnout actually is and how it is different from regular "stress" in parenthood?

- The pros and cons of the rise of the "Parenting Industrial Complex."

- The output/input formula that will inevitably lead to depletion, and why parents of sensitive children are more susceptible to an imbalance in this equation.

- An exercise you can use to address (and flip!) your personal output/input equation to create more balance for yourself.

- Taking a Family-Systems approach to addressing and treating parental burnout.

- How parental burnout can impact the parent-child relationship, leading to more dysregulated behaviors from our kids, us losing our cool, and creating a self-perpetuating negative feedback loop.

- Why traditional self-care strategies don't work for combatting parental burnout, and my recommendations for practical, realistic, and attainable strategies that actually do!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH BREN:

https://drsarahbren.com/

FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:

@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

• The Surgeon General Report: Parental Mental Health & Well-Being 

• In one study, Parents whose children experienced anxiety or ADHD had two to four times higher risk of experiencing parental burnout (anxiety: OR, 2.54; ADHD: OR, 4.41) compared with those whose children had no anxiety or ADHD. [1]

• Addressing systemic problems with Raena Boston, Lauren Smith Brody, and Alexis Barad-Cutler

• Encouraging your child to engage in independent play

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Quit the never-ending to-do list: How to find balance in the home, at work, and in parenthood with Chelsi Jo

🎧 Is fun the antidote to burnout? How play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Dr. Mike Rucker

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- How to best approach daycare transitions and is there a right or a wrong answer to this question? 

- The most important questions to ask yourself to determine which of these scenarios will be easiest for your unique child.

- Is it better to have a single, potentially steeper transition or a slower, more incremental transition?

- The key things to consider (like sleep habits, separation anxiety, etc.) to help you determine which is best for your individual situation.

- Zooming out to see how this change will impact the entire family system and adding these factors into your decision making process.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

📚 Transitioning to a new daycare

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about turning parenthood into a career asset with Lauren Smith Brody

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping child with separation anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about being a working parent with Daisy Dowling

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- It can be tricky to maintain relationships when you're in different stages of life from your friends and it's common for some to atrophy after you become a parent. 

- Unpacking all the feelings you may have about this: fear, guilt, grief, and more!

- Practical strategies for creating a simple routine that is easy for you to maintain, but will also allow you to keep these relationships from going too long without any checkins. 

- When you are changed by motherhood, you may slip into black-and-white thinking with regard to your friendships. We offer you a perspective shift you can use to challenge that.

- How to check in with yourself so you can understand the root of your desires for connection, which will help you create realistic anchors that will actually meet your needs.

- Time management and scheduling hacks that can help you be intentional about protecting the time you do have.

- How to repair bonds with friends who may feel hurt, slighted, or abandoned by you.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the science of "mom-rage" with Diana Winston

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about identifying and managing your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about finding balance with Chelsi Jo

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about overcoming parental burnout

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Discover how maternal mental health care is evolving and why specialized support is critical for mothers with Paige Bellenbaum, LCSW, PMH-C and Rebecca Geshuri, LMFT, PMH-C.

In this episode we explore:

- What dyadic work is and how this can be especially beneficial for mothers and birthing people for developing a bond with their child.

- How Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can support mothers in addressing their inner "mom parts" that contribute to feelings of failure and overwhelm.

- How polarized parts and perfectionism can create distress in motherhood and how embracing a "both-and" mentality can offer relief and self-compassion.

- The questions to ask when looking for a provider to ensure they're trained in maternal mental health and understand the complexities of this life stage.

- Why it's so important for pediatricians, OBGYNs, or anyone who often comes into contact with birthing parents to have even a basic understanding of this transformative experience.

Whether you're a mother seeking support, a professional working with birthing parents, or simply someone invested in breaking the stigma around mental health and motherhood, this episode is filled with practical insights you won't want to miss.

REGISTER FOR THE TRAINING ON FEB. 27:

Go to upshurbren.com/IFSTraining to register for this 3-hour workshop designed to teach professionals how to integrate Internal Family Systems concepts into maternal mental health services to provide improved support for moms.

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOTHERHOOD CENTER:

https://themotherhoodcenter.com/

LEARN MORE ABOUT REBECCA:

https://www.rebeccageshurilmft.com/get-to-know-me

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

• Postpartum Support International

• Ghosts in the Nursery: A Psychoanalytic Approach to the Problems of Impaired Infant-Mother Relationships

LISTEN TO PAIGE & REBECCA'S PAST EPISODES:

🎧 Using Internal Family Systems to emotionally support mothers with the creators of The Mothercentric Approach

🎧 Preventing tragedy and shining a light on postpartum psychosis: What it is, what it's not, and how to find support for yourself or a loved one with Paige Bellenbaum

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- What is developmentally typical for 2-year-olds when it comes to manners and patience?

- Understanding impulse control, joint attention, and attunement - and how to use these 3 things to help you know how to respond to your child when they are demanding your attention.

- When to pause to validate your child's desire, and when it's okay to ignore their request.

- How to help your child tolerate waiting (no matter how big their reaction is to being told they need to wait.)

- How to collaboratively problem solve with your child to come up with strategies around what they CAN do to interrupt you when they need your attention. 

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a toddler with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series, Carol Zeavin and Rhona Silverbush

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about responding to your child who loses their cool when they get frustrated

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about appropriate consequences when your child doesn't listen to you

🎧 Listen to my podcast about how to keep your child from becoming a spoiled brat

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

What role do early attachment relationships play in shaping who we become? In this episode, Dr. Alan Sroufe, a pioneering researcher in attachment, shares decades of insights from his groundbreaking longitudinal study.

Together we explore:

- How Dr. Sroufe's research answered the question: Do early experiences leave a lasting legacy?

- Why resilience isn't just about thriving in the face of adversity, but is deeply rooted in the strength of attachment relationships.

- The importance of early relationships in helping children develop a sense of safety, positive self-worth, and durable relationships.

- A hopeful message that attachment isn't fixed and that secure relationships in adolescence and adulthood can change developmental trajectories, even after challenging childhoods.

- Why the quality, not quantity, of time with your child matters most (and what babies can teach us about connection).

- How parents can help shape the meaning children make of their world and guide them through challenges with empathy.

Dr. Sroufe's work shows that while early experiences are never erased, they're always building blocks for growth—and recovery is always possible.

READ THE BOOK DR. ALAN'S RECOMMENDS PARENTS START WITH:

📚 A Compelling Idea: How We Become the Persons We Are

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.

GET MY ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR PARENTING SENSITIVE CHILDREN:

👉🏻 Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan

🎧 How to use the principles of attachment science to make parenting easier

🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

Sibling relationships are some of the longest-lasting and most influential relationships in our lives, but they're also filled with complexity. Dr. Jonathan Caspi, a renowned expert on sibling relationships, is breaking down the fascinating science behind sibling dynamics and sharing actionable advice for parents.

In this episode we explore:

- The surprising science behind why if you give two siblings and two strangers personality tests, the siblings wouldn't be any more similar than the strangers.

- The importance of neutrality in parental interventions with siblings and how this can prevent feelings of favoritism and resentment.

- Practical strategies for managing sibling conflict: Like what to say in the heat of the moment to support their problem-solving skills, what to focus on (and what to ignore) to build closeness and empathy, and how to know it's time to get involved vs. when to let them work it out themselves, and more!

- How to respond if your child struggles when you bring a new baby home with methods that foster closeness and decrease rivalry. 

- Insider versus outsider status: How parents can unintentionally create sibling rivalry, and what to do instead.

- The vital importance of parental regulation and how to stay calm when our "mama bear" instincts are triggered.

Whether you're trying to navigate sibling squabbles, encourage connection, or simply understand the dynamics at play in your own family, this episode is packed with fascinating insights and practical tools you won't want to miss!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JONATHAN CASPI:

https://siblingexpert.com/

READ DR. JONATHAN'S BOOK:

📚 Sibling Aggression: Assessment and Treatment

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

• @siblingexpert

• @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

• Research Study: Why are siblings so different?

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton

🎧 The science of "mom-rage" and how to use mindfulness as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston

🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman

🎧 Getting on the same page as your partner in parenting

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- Breaking down the difference between having differing political view points versus someone having extremist views. 

- How the health of our relationships with our parents is often intertwined with our relationship with ourselves, our kids, and our entire family system. 

- How to manage feeling lost, un-seen, and destabilized when a parent shifts to being less of a secure attachment figure.

- Does this change in your parent's views and values mean you have to throw out all the things you have learned from them that inform your approach to raising your own kids?

- When it's best to try to compartmentalize things your parent might say, and when it's necessary to hold firm boundaries.

- Learn Dr. Sarah's simple framework for setting and holding effective boundaries.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about setting boundaries with your in-laws

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful realationshisp with Dr. Rick Hanson

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about mindfulness with Diana Winston

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Music therapist Vered Benhorin is teaching parents how they can use play and music as powerful tools to strengthen connection, foster attachment, and make parenting feel a little easier.

In this episode, we explore:

- Why play is so important for emotional regulation, attachment, and connection—and how parents who don't naturally enjoy play can redefine what it looks like.

- What are "Bubble Moments," and how can parents tap into these times throughout the day to deepen their relationship with their child?

- How music impacts the brain, reinforcing neural networks that support routines, emotional regulation, and even executive functioning skills.

- The science behind a "sing-song" voice and why it feels so regulating for both you and your child.

- How to expand your definition of play to find activities that feel fun and authentic for you as a parent.

Whether you're looking to strengthen your bond with your child, better understand attachment theory, or discover simple ways to use music and play to make parenting more joyful, this episode is packed with insights and practical advice you won't want to miss!

LEARN MORE ABOUT VERED:

https://www.babyintune.com/

READ VERED'S NEW BOOK:

📚 What Do I Do with My Baby All Day?!: Simple Ways to Have the Best First Year Together

LISTEN TO VERED'S MUSIC:

🎵 Listen on Spotify

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play, to help your child learn to calm their brains and bodies.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 How parents can use music as an emotion regulator with Vered Benhorin

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it, with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 A 10-year-old's take on starting a new school year, navigating friendships, and what he wants every parent to keep in mind

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- What does it mean to be "nesting" during a divorce?

- What types of logistical and emotional factors to consider to help you determine if this is a good choice for your family.

- What are the pros and cons of nesting for kids (and for you!)

- How to help kids feel secure during a separation, whether you've decided to nest with your ex or not.

- A script for helping your child understand the difference between love in a parent-child relationship and love in a romantic adult relationship. This distinction can help kids who may be worried that they will get left too.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode busting some common misconceptions about divorce with Michelle Dempsey-Multack

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting with a narcissist

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do after you and your partner have a big fight in front of your kids

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- Even if we aren't adding more pressure onto our kids, the world often pushes external achievements on them - how can parents push back against this?

- Why trying to problem-solve with your child may seem like it's supporting them, but could actually be perpetuating their anxiety.

- The one pillar you can use as a parent to guide all your interactions with your child that can help to defuse the pressure they feel, rather than inadvertently adding to it.

- Saying grades don't matter is like saying, "throw your sense of control out the window." What to say instead.

- Our society glorifies perfectionism, but in reality, kids who engage in highly perfectionist tendencies tend to have higher anxiety and internalize their stress, which can lead to missed signs that they need support. What are the signs they are crossing a concerning threshold of perfectionism?

- We describe a helpful thought exercise you can try with your child today.

WANT ADDITIONAL SUPPORT?

👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about learning style myths with Dr. Dan Willingham

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child cope with anxiety with Dr. Terri Bacow

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

How does attachment security relate to codependency? The Codependent Perfectionist, Alana Carvalho, LMHC, is here to explore just that!

In this episode, we cover it all:

- How does codependency fit into the attachment system?

- Does this sound like what you're struggling with in your relationship? We're reviewing some of the most common challenges partners face when one person is more avoidant, and the other is more anxious.

- Challenging perceptions of what is necessary in a relationship. When we see the world through dysfunctional patterns, we are often unaware of this dysfunction.

- The differences between missatunement versus misperception and how understanding this difference can help us get on the same page on both!

- A tangible exercise you can do with your partner to help you create a stronger dynamic (and why this works to not kick up a threat response, and helps them stay engaged in the conversation more successfully.)

Whether you're struggling with relational patterns or looking to better understand your partner, this episode offers powerful insights and tools for cultivating healthier relationships.

LEARN MORE ABOUT ALANA:

https://www.alanacarvalho.com/

TAKE THE QUIZ:

https://www.alanacarvalho.com/the-codependent-perfectionist-quiz/

READ ALANA'S BOOK:

📚 Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist's Guide to Parenting

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

• @thecodependentperfectionist

• @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🎧 Listen to Alana's first Securely Attached episode, Recognizing and overcoming codependency in parenthood

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan

Do you know the signs of postpartum depression? Many parents (and even medical professionals) often miss diagnosing new mothers with a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder. Here to help shed light on this important topic is Board-Certified OB/GYN and author of the upcoming book, Then Comes Baby, Dr. Jessica Vernon.

In this episode we explore:

- Why postpartum mental health conditions are so often overlooked—even in medical training.

- The types of questions Dr. Jessica started asking her prenatal and postpartum patients that allowed them the space to open up and reveal the struggles they were experiencing. 

- How the 6-week check-in after birth become the standard practice and what birthing people can expect of their bodies and minds at the 6-week mark.

- Why women experiencing mental health struggles in postpartum are so prone to feelings of guilt and shame - even though there is no difference between medical risks and mental health risks, as a society we tend to attach more shame to mental health challenges.

- What is matrescence and how is it revolutionizing the way we view early motherhood.

- Managing our expectations with the realization that reality and our fantasies often don't match up and how that can cause struggles - from birth, to feeding, postpartum, and early parenthood.

- Free moms groups, books, and other resources for expecting and new parents.

Whether you're pregnant, newly postpartum, or a professional working with new parents, this episode offers essential insights into how we can improve postpartum care and support maternal mental health.

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JESSICA:

https://www.drjessicavernon.com/ 

PRE-ORDER DR. JESSICA'S BOOK:

📚 Then Comes Baby: An Honest Conversation about Birth, Postpartum, and the Complex Transition to Parenthood

ARE YOU A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL?

Go to upshurbren.com/IFSTraining to register for The Good Mom/Bad Mom Loop, a 3-hour workshop on 2/27 designed to teach professionals how to integrate Internal Family Systems concepts into maternal mental health services to provide improved support for moms.

FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

📱 @drsarahbren

📱 @dr.jessicavernon, Jessica Vernon, Jessica Vernon, MD, FACOG, PMH-C

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

📚 Ordinary Insanity: Fear and the Silent Crisis of Motherhood in America

📚 Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood

✨ Postpartum Support International

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Going back to work after baby: Maintaining a healthy and secure attachment bond

🎧 How to lighten the load in pregnancy and postpartum with Dr. Sterling

🎧 A breakdown of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs)

🎧 Sex after baby - Part I and Part II

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- First things first, why are schools still sending out candy grams in this current climate with a loneliness epidemic on the rise? 

- Cliques and posses that form in middle school are often rife with envy, jealousy, gossip, and temptation - how to help our kids navigate this. 

- What advice to give your child when they are left out in a friend group.

- How to help a child who tends to avoid conflict in their interpersonal relationships build a greater tolerance for joining in and addressing things directly.

- "There is a difference between a kid who says 'I am going to let this go' vs. 'I am going to hold this in.'"

- Understanding "social currency" and how that impacts children, especially as they move into the stage of development where their attention begins to move away from their parents and much more heavily toward their peers.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about talking with your teen with Elizabeth Bennett

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about respond to your child who you think is bullying other kids

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about social media's impact on your child's attachment security with Dr. Miriam Steele

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- Exactly when we'd recommend you tell your child that you're pregnant.

- Why it's important to help your child make sense of what is happening in their life—and the conclusions they can jump to if we don't share things (in a developmentally appropriate manner) with them.

- A conversation starter and basic script you can use to introduce this concept to your young child. 

- How these dynamics can change depending on if it's the second, third, or fourth baby you're welcoming.

- The types of topics you want to try to cover (and which ones to try to avoid) when you first tell your child you are pregnant.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about going from one to two with Lindsay Ellingson

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about pregnancy, postpartum, and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do during pregnancy to make you less vulnerable to postpartum anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about movement during pregnancy and beyond with Dr. Megan Roche

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Grief isn't something we get over—it's something we integrate. Joining me to discuss this and the best way to support children through profound loss is Dr. Dan Wolfson, a clinical psychologist specializing in grief.

In this episode we explore:

- The skills needed for fostering resilience and helping children and adults learn to grieve in a healthy manner.

- The importance of "oscillation" through grief and how Dr. Dan works with his patients to help them learn to process their feelings without these emotions completely overtaking them.

- How to help determine when and how it's time for your child (or you) to go back to things like extracurricular activities, birthday parties, and other "normal" ways of reengaging with life.

- Parents are often hesitant to show their own grief to their children, however, this can be a helpful form of modeling. We discuss appropriate ways to share your emotions with your child.

- Typical behaviors and regressions we often see in children who are processing profound sadness and difficult emotions, so you know what to be on the lookout for.

If you or your child are navigating profound loss, this conversation is here to remind you that healing isn't linear, and you don't have to do it alone.

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. DAN:

https://www.wolfsontherapy.com/danwolfson

LEARN MORE ABOUT EXPERIENCE CAMPS:

https://experiencecamps.org/about-us

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@wolfsontherapy

📱 @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

📚 The Invisible String

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 192. Death, grief, and parenting: How we can help our kids make sense of and make peace with death with Rabbi Steve Leder

🎧 194. Confronting death to find a deeper meaning in life: A continuation of my conversation with Rabbi Steve Leder

🎧 70. Helping children process, accept and understand death with death doula Heather Hogan

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca debate whether mom-guilt is inherent to all mothers or a societally structured construct (Spoiler: Dr. Rebecca wins this battle!)

- The critical distinction between distress and guilt and why one can be a destructive grenade in parenting.

- Releasing guilt is a form of activism - we're explaining why.

- How to course correct once you've noticed you're parenting from a space of guilt.

- The question to ask yourself that can help guide your behaviors as a parent that come from a place of attunement and trust, rather than guilt or fear.

- Using a "values-driven" distinction to help you determine the root reasons you are making certain decisions, and how bringing this into your consciousness can be helpful.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about turning parenthood into a career asset with Lauren Smith Brody

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about managing working parent guilt with Daisy Dowling

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about balancing parenthood, partnership, and work with Dr. Yael Schonbrun

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Girls are often sent messages that can leave them feeling unseen, unheard, and boxed in by societal expectations. How can we as parents help them challenge these limiting narratives and grow into their full potential?

In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein to explore:

- How societal norms shape girls' self-perception, from the "pink frilly dress" phase to body image struggles in their teens.

- Research statistics that will blow your mind on everything from when gender bias begins, how widespread it is, and its impact on everything from what parents Google to how often girls and boys are called on in school.

- How to examine and confront the gender stereotypes we unknowingly pass on to our kids when so much of it is unconscious.

- Practical strategies to help kids understand and navigate the societal messages they encounter. Including a simple yet powerful hack for challenging gender roles when reading children's books.

- Actionable advice for fostering resilience and confidence in girls, as well as how to teach boys to work alongside girls to combat toxic masculinity.

If you want to help your kids break free from limiting narratives and thrive as their authentic selves, this episode is a must-listen!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JO-ANN:

https://www.joannfinkelstein.com/

READ DR. JO-ANN'S BOOK:

📚 Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World

JOIN JO-ANN'S SUBSTACK:

📖 The Feminist Parent

FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

📱@joannfinkelstein.phd @joannfinkelstein.phd

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

📺 Ada Twist, Scientist

📺 Vida the Vet

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Secure attachment vs. social media: Navigating their effects on body image from early childhood to teen years with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 How can I parent my daughter so she doesn't become a people pleaser?

🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman

When journalist and author Stephanie Foo was diagnosed with Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), she left her job and devoted herself to healing—a journey she chronicled in her bestselling memoir, What My Bones Know. Now, as a mother, she's navigating what it means to parent with complex trauma, balancing the high-alert nervous system that comes with C-PTSD while trying to stay present for her child.

In this powerful conversation, Stephanie shares:

- The difference between PTSD and C-PTSD—and why relational healing is essential for many forms of trauma.

- How motherhood reshapes the brain and why it can trigger fight-or-flight responses.

- The unique challenges of rupture and repair with a child versus an adult.

- Why parents with complex trauma may struggle with isolation and finding a supportive community can be so helpful.

- The strategies that have helped Stephanie most, all of which are useful for any parent, with or without trauma.

If you've ever felt like parenting is unearthing deep, unresolved parts of yourself, this episode offers both insight and hope.

LEARN MORE ABOUT STEPHANIE:

https://www.stephaniefoo.me/

READ STEPHANIE'S BOOK:

📚 What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@foofoofoo

📱 @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

• Why the "Still-Face" Experiment Was a Game-Changer

• The Strange Situation

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 186. Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham

🎧 204. The science of "mom-rage" and how to use mindfulness as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston

🎧 272. Maternal health, dyadic work, and IFS: Why specialized mental healthcare providers matter with Rebecca Geshuri and Paige Bellenbaum

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca sympathize with this mom and reflects on how great it would be if we could choose our kid's friends - but offer a mindset shift for why that actually wouldn't be healthy.

- Who to turn to for support to help you determine what your best course of action might be.

- A statement you can say to your child that can help you begin to understand why they may be exhibiting more clingy behaviors.

- How to get to the root of your own anxieties and fears so you can determine what you might be projecting onto your kids versus what are actual issues they need support navigating.

- What to avoid saying to your child that may unintentionally cause them to pull away from you.

- A formula you can use (that works with children of all ages!) to help you know whether the questions you are asking your child will likely be helpful or may lead to increased pressure.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachments in peer relationships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that will help you empower your daughter with media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

The way we parent isn't just shaped by psychology—it's deeply influenced by culture, shaping how our children experience love, discipline, and security in ways we may not even realize. Joining me to unpack this is clinical psychologist Dr. Miguelina German.

In this episode we explore:

- Two overarching parenting frameworks, Attachment Theory and Baumrind Parenting Practices, and how understanding the nuances of each can help us in our parenting approach. 

- The importance of "warmth" in parenting and what the research reveals of the positive correlation between our child's perception of high warmth with positive outcomes.

- How generational trauma, values, and cultural norms can inform differences in parenting strategies and styles. 

- The impact of being separated from a caregiver as a young child and the attachment rupture that can occur during critical developmental times.

- How to repair a relationship that has undergone an attachment rupture.

Parenting is not one-size-fits-all. By understanding the interplay between attachment, cultural influences, and parenting styles, we can create stronger, more secure connections with our children.

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. MIGUELINA:

https://www.drmiguelinagerman.com/

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

• Ghosts in the Nursery: A Psychoanalytic Approach to the Problems of Impaired Infant-Mother Relationships

• Angels in the nursery: The intergenerational transmission of benevolent parental influences

• Dr. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson - The 4 S's

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Understanding parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Positive parenting isn't permissive parenting: How to integrate effective discipline that prioritizes emotional and and mental health with Sarah R. Moore

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- When you notice unhealthy patterns in how you tend to show up in relationships or in past therapy, how you can communicate that to your new therapist to help treatment be more successful.

- If you're feeling overwhelmed by the idea of starting with a new therapist, we share a conversation starter that may make you feel more confident.

- Strategies for vetting potential therapists - both for professional expertise as well as goodness of fit.

- Red flags to be on the lookout for as you are deciding if a therapist is right for you.

- Why it can be helpful to have a basic understanding of the different types of evidence-based treatments and clinical interventions for complex trauma, or whatever mental health challenge you're struggling with.

- How to take into account the cultural, personal, and clinical sensitivities you may have when making your choice.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn about the resources for your unique needs.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham 

🎧 Simplifying the jargon associated with therapy: How to be an educated consumer of psychological interventions with Dr. Katie C. Lewis

🎧 Parenting after complex trauma: A mother's journey toward healing in parenthood with Stephanie Foo

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

What if small shifts in the way you parent could help prevent Imposter Syndrome in your child before it even starts? Dr. Lisa Orbé-Austin is joining me this week to help parents learn how to raise a child who trusts in their own abilities, values, and worth.

In this episode we explore:

- What imposter syndrome actually is (and what it isn't!) from a scientific and psychological perspective.

- Why it's common to see self-sabotaging behaviors in people who are experiencing Imposter Syndrome - and what you can do to help you or your kids combat this.

- The impact of rigid versus growth mindset on children as they develop and grow.

- Are certain attachment patterns more prone to Imposter Syndrome?

- The types of conversations you can have with your child, and even with other adults in front of your child, that will lay the groundwork for resilience.

- Why receiving a neurodiversity diagnosis can be empowering for kids and can help combat many associated challenges, Imposter Syndrome being one of them!

- What does it mean to hyper-regulate and how does our environment reinforce this behavior? Is it more common in men or women? With certain siblings? - We're unpacking it all!

If you're someone who's ever doubted their own success, or is noticing perfectionistic tendencies in your child, this episode is packed with eye-opening takeaways you won't want to miss!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. LISA:

https://www.dynamictransitionsllp.com/

READ DR. LISA'S BOOKS:

📚 Your Child's Greatness: A Parent's Guide to Raising Children without Impostor Syndrome

📚 Own Your Greatness: Overcome Impostor Syndrome, Beat Self-Doubt, and Succeed in Life

📚 Your Unstoppable Greatness: Break Free from Impostor Syndrome, Cultivate Your Agency, and Achieve Your Ultimate Career Goals

FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL:

📱 IG: @drorbeaustin and LinkedIn: Lisa Orbé-Austin, PhD

📱 IG: @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring whether your child could benefit from a Neuropsychological Evaluation, CLICK HERE to learn about what we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 How can I parent my daughter so she doesn't become a people pleaser?

🎧 ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell

🎧 How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- What to do when your reassurances to your child doesn't help soothe their anxiety.

- A sample script of the type of thing you can say (and wait to try to avoid saying) to help your child believe that they can cope with the feeling of anxiety.

- When our good intentions go bad - some of the most common "mistakes" parents make when navigating their child's anxiety.

- Understanding the difference between temporarily soothing your child's fears and using a more effective long-term solution.

- Is it anxiety? The questions to ask yourself to help you determine if your child is experiencing anxiety beyond a normative level.

- How to tell your child you are going to start doing things differently when they start feeling anxious. 

- Should you respond differently when your child's anxiety is fueled by something that is possible (like a medical misdiagnosis) rather than something we as adults know are impossible (like a monster under the bed)?

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with Eli Lebowitz about SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) that he developed

👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring SPACE and the treatment options for childhood anxiety, CLICK HERE to learn about the support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about managing your child's separation anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about that will help your determine when it's time to seek support managing your child's anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about school refusal with Dr. Erica Miller

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Gayane Aramyan joins me to unpack the "perfect mom" pressure so many of us contend with on a daily basis.

In this episode we cover:

- Why our expectations of motherhood often don't match reality—and how to stop blaming ourselves when they don't.

- The hidden ways control fuels anxiety and overwhelm, and how loosening our grip can make parenting easier.

- The power of flexibility in parenting, and why giving yourself permission to adapt can be a game-changer.

- What to do when you reach a stage of your child's development that you simply don't enjoy.

- The key support systems to have in place before entering motherhood to make the transition smoother.

- The differences we're seeing with millennial mothers from what has been considered norms of the past.

- How to know when the mom-guilt you feel is getting in the way of your parenting and strategies for challenging it.

If you've ever felt like you're falling short of the motherhood ideal, this conversation is here to remind you: You don't have to be perfect—you just have to be you.

LEARN MORE ABOUT GAYANE:

https://www.therapywithgayane.com/

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@therapywithgayane

📱 @drsarahbren

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the perfectionist mold: How embracing the messy middle is healthier for you and your kids with Monica Packer

🎧 Motherhood as a Millennial: Tuning out the noise and learning to find trust in ourselves with Marcella Kelson

🎧 Social anxiety in parenthood: Navigating play dates, mom-friends, and putting yourself out there with Justine Carino

In this episode, the creator of AEDP, Dr. Diana Fosha, psychotherapist Karen Pando-Mars, and I dive into the science of healing attachment wounds and exploring how AEDP can help people create healthier patterns.

Together we explore:

- What exactly is AEDP, directly from the creator of this therapy modality herself

- Unpacking how and why attachment "styles" aren't as fixed as we often think, and may not even be the most accurate way of thinking about attachment security...and what actually is!

- What the research reveals about repairing attachment ruptures and how to get through them in order to establish a secure attachment relationship.

- An exercise in reflective functioning and the types of things you can say to model and build this skill in your child.

- A trick for allowing yourself to stay in a feeling of discomfort or shame without immediately going straight to defensiveness. 

- What people with different attachment styles need to start to move more toward secure attachment.

Tune in for a discussion that will shift your perspective on attachment, healing, and the power of connection.

SHOW NOTES:

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LEARN MORE ABOUT AEDP:

https://aedpinstitute.org/

ATTEND THEIR CONFERENCE:

https://aedpinstitute.org/aedp-conference-2025-in-it-together/

READ THEIR BOOK:

📚 Tailoring Treatment in Attachment Patterns: Healing Trauma in Relationships

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns: Creating stronger, healthier romantic partnerships with Alana Carvalho

🎧 The lifelong impact of early relationships: How secure attachment influences children's ability to make sense of their experiences and cope in the face of adversity with Dr. Alan Sroufe

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- The science of why transitions are so hard for the ADHD brain - it's not just that you or your child are "difficult," it's actually the way a neurodiverse brain works.

- What type of executive functioning skills need more scaffolding for a person with ADHD (and the good news, that being intentional about strengthening them can be a real game changer!)

- Some of these underdeveloped skills can create a snowball effect. Learn exactly how you can identify and make changes to your child's day to improve these challenging patterns.

- A few real-life examples of how Dr. Emily breaks down tasks, like getting her son to soccer practice with all his gear or helping him study for a test, that makes it easier for him, her, and their whole family.

- Creating a systematic approach for lessening how much support you offer your child that is most likely to help them internalize these new skills and behaviors. 

- A transition hack you can use that will make it easier to go from activity to activity.  

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

• The digital platform Dr. Emily uses with her own child: Quizlet

• Create a visual guide of your child's routine: Small Dry Erase Whiteboard,

• A visual timer you can use: 60-Minute Timer

👉🏻 Are you interested in exploring executive functioning supports? At Upshur Bren Psychology Group we offer a wide range of options, including in-person groups for kids who live locally and coaching virtual supports for those nationally. SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child feel comfortable accepting ADHD School accommodations

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about making mindfulness more "user-friendly" for parents with ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to modify traditional sleep strategies for children with neurodiversity with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!