Securely Attached – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Is your child explosive? Do you struggle to keep your own emotions in-check, then feel guilty after you lose your cool?

We're all working with the same equipment and understanding the basics of what is happening in our kid's brains and our own brains when we get dysregulated can have a huge impact on how often we're able to stay calm in the face of life's chaos.

I am honored to be joined once again by Dr. Dan Siegel to explore:

- The "window of tolerance" - what it is and how to use it to help you and your child stay grounded, even during stressful moments.

- Dan performs a visceral Yes/No Exercise that listeners can follow along with to become a more effective regulator of your own threat response.

- There is no such thing as being perfect, real secure attachment boils down to proper repair after you lose your cool. We cover the most effective strategies and tools for facilitating repair in your relationship with your child.

- Everyone has innate temperament and personality traits (like sensitivity, intensity of their reactions, and their response to novelty), but do those proclivities become intensified by our attachment relationships?

- How to apply these strategies to kids who don’t fit the mold - who are sensitive, explosive, neurodiverse, or quick to become dysregulated.

- Dan’s views as a psychiatrist on how medication and clinical interventions can be properly used with children.

- How to look at any diagnosis from the perspective of integration versus disintegration - and by looking at it this way, what that means for treatment.

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. DAN SIEGEL:

https://drdansiegel.com/

A FEW OF DAN'S BOOKS FOR PARENTS TO GET STARTED WITH:

📚 Parenting from the Inside Out

📚 The Whole-Brain Child

📚 The Power of Showing Up

📚 No-Drama Discipline

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 The neuroscience of mindfulness with Dr. Dan Siegel

🎧 How to use mindfulness for ourselves and our children with Diana Winston

🎧 How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

3:49 - How a child’s developmental ability to conceptualize time is different than adults’ and how this gets in the way of them sharing our sense of urgency.

6:58 - Kids often have trouble transitioning to things they don't want to do, we'll talk through strategies for helping them tolerate this better.

8:10 - The difference between a bribe and a positive reward, and when to use each.

10:45 - How integrating moments into the routine that promote autonomy and help your child feel a deeper sense of control can make a big difference.

12:25 - How Dr. Sarah adds elements of playfulness and gamification into the routine with her own kids.

18:55 - There is a huge tradeoff to our kid's mental health if they are obedient because they are are afraid of us - but that doesn't mean it wouldn't make parenting easier.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

⏰ Kids Visual Timer or Sand Timers to help your child learn about time

📖 My FREE workbook with 6 games to help you incorporate playfulness while teaching your child emotion regulation skills

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS TOPIC?

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that covers a 10-step framework for getting your child to change their behavior in just 3 weeks

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child doesn't listen to you

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about bribery

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Are you worried about your child’s lack of motivation or their constant struggle to keep up? This week I'm diving into the complexities of child motivation with Dr. Ellen Braaten.

In this episode we explore:

👉🏻 Impact of COVID-19: The pandemic's role in exacerbating motivational challenges and what we can do to combat it.

👉🏻 Attachment Myths: Common misconceptions about attachment and the importance of separating parental anxieties from a child's development.

👉🏻 Fostering Responsibility: Practical strategies for helping children develop a sense of responsibility and self-efficacy without excessive pressure.

👉🏻 Balancing External and Intrinsic Motivation: How to encourage intrinsic motivation in children while appropriately using external rewards.

👉🏻 Rediscovering Pleasure: The importance of integrating pleasure into daily tasks for both parents and children, and how it influences motivation.

Join us for this enlightening and practical episode as we uncover the keys to unlocking motivation and supporting the well-being of our children!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. ELLEN BRAATEN

https://www.ellenbraatenphd.com/

GET DR. ELLEN BRAATEN'S NEWEST BOOK:

Bright Kids Who Couldn't Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child's Motivation

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:

🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham

🎧 Is fun the antidote to burnout with Dr. Mike Rucker

>>> HEAD HERE TO GRAB THE FREEBIE FOR THIS EPISODE: Your Step-By-Step Guide for How to Change Your Child's Behavior in Just 3 Weeks!

Want to learn how to change your child's behavior in just 3 weeks?

In this episode, I am breaking down the 10 simple steps I teach to the families in my clinical practice to help them make small shifts to their own behavior that will result in some big changes in their child.

Plus, download my interactive workbook for an easy-to-follow, customized game plan you can use to start seeing meaningful change leading to more cooperation and family harmony!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

2:18 - You are not alone! Kids holding it together all day with other people and melting down with us is very common (and healthy, even!)

2:57 - How to make transitions smoother to help reduce dysregulation when children get home.

7:26 - Children do behave differently with different caregiver and parents respond differently to different children. This is typical and normal, but there are shifts we can make to interrupt these patterns if they’re not working for the family.

11:55 - Reframing your interpretation of your child's big emotions as a necessary release, rather than a problem that needs to be fixed.

14:30 - The interpretation that your child is messiest with your because they feel safest with you may be true and validating, but it doesn't mean they feel unsafe with you if the inverse is the case.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Do you feel like you are constantly ping-ponging between two extremes—throwing around your authority and overpowering your child or feeling like they're running the show?

Jen Lumanlan, the creator of Your Parenting Mojo and the author of the new book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family—and the World, is helping parents learn how to embark on a journey towards harmonious family life and a better world!

Say goodbye to time-outs, countdowns, and punishments that perpetuate power imbalances. Instead, embrace empathetic listening, understanding your child's needs, and collaborative problem-solving. The result? Parents no longer feel like martyrs and children's behavioral problems often start to decrease.

If you're ready to transform your family life while shaping a brighter future for your children, then this episode is a must-listen!

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to [email protected]

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

2:24 - How this current generation is working to lessen the stigma of having learning difficulties or a neurodiverse brain by approaching it as a difference rather than a deficit.

4:20 - How parents can be collaborative with their child's school to help them feel comfortable getting support in the classroom.

7:26 - Understanding a child's genetic history can empower parents to make specific choices (proactively and in the moment) based on that unique knowledge.

9:02 - Teaching your child to use, "I'm the type of person who..." statements can help them approach the things that are challenging for them without judgment.

15:29 - How comparing an invisible disability (like ADHD, OCD, anxiety, etc.) with physical disabilities can help children feel comfortable accepting support.

18:45 - Modeling coping skills by talking about your unique brain, body, and your process in navigating mental or physical differences without infusing shame.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

We all want our children to succeed. But, the way they get there can feel counterintuitive to many parents and mainstream parenting approaches. We need to let our kids stumble, let them make mistakes, and allow them to struggle a bit.

Here to help parents understand how to support their child's autonomy in a way that promotes family harmony is psychologist and author of Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children, Dr. Emily Edlynn.

From allowing for boredom, teaching our children to find balance, tuning into their intrinsic motivation, and giving them space to learn their body's cues, this episode will help you harness the power of treating your child with respect.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to [email protected]

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

2:37 - What is a "spicy" kid and how is that a more positive term than "sensitive" or "highly emotional"?

4:05 - What is the difference between continuum and categorical and how does this apply to these highly reactive kids.

4:54 - Helping kids who easily go to feelings of shame while setting limits.

8:32 - Teaching our children the difference between shame and guilt and how this can be a beneficial parenting tool to use with the children that quickly go to a place of shame.

12:08 - Create opportunities for your child to feel a sense of mastery, in control, self-confident, and proud by inviting them to participate in tasks you know they can excel at.

19:31 - Try using the terms "safe" or "unsafe" rather than "good/bad" or "mean/nice" when describing your child's behaviors.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Addressing the root cause of our children's physical and mental health challenges, rather than just treating the symptoms, can allow the human body to function as it should and positively impact energy, mood, and overall feelings of wellness.

Joining me to discuss the benefits of taking a holistic and integrative approach to pediatric medicine is Dr. Pejman Katiraei, a board-certified pediatrician and the co-founder of WholisticMinds.

We'll explore how physiological and environmental factors like mold, Lyme, and other toxins can impact children's bodies leading to behavioral issues, and what this understanding means for the diagnosis and treatment in children of things like autism, ADHD, OCD, anxiety, depression, and more.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to [email protected]

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources