Sharing stories of force-free dog training journeys with challenging, reactive and aggressive dogs and the impact living with those dogs has on our daily lives and our mental health. I hope that hearing these stories can help to make people feel less alone. We love our dogs to pieces but sometimes it's hard and then it's simply nice to hear from others going through something similar. This podcast is about us trying to teach our dogs, but more importantly, it's about what our dogs are teaching us.Find the show notes at https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/ruff-around-the-edges-podcast/
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Claire describes such familiar themes. Like what it’s like to look back at how her childhood dogs were treated with the knowledge she has now. How she thought she knew quite a bit about dogs until Ozzy came along.
Ozzy was adopted from a charity, who had done a pretty great job preparing prospective adopters for what it’s like to bring a new dog into the home, and yet Claire, like many of us, still underestimated the reality, partly because she adopted Ozzy when he was still a puppy.
She talks about how it was particularly hard to be the one spending most of the time with the dog home alone and to feel like her partner was the one who just got to do the fun things with the dog, and how focusing on relaxation protocols was something that helped really well.
It had also helped to not walk Ozzy every day and we discuss what it takes to break through the socialization that exists around having to walk your dog every day to be considered a dog guardian.
We also talk about how Sarah Stremming and Hannah Brannigan inspired a “shut up and show up” mentality to bring about change in the dog world. About how the one tip Claire has for others is to put less pressure onthemselves: “Noone is going to die.”, and about what allowed her to change careers and move into dog training.
If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.
We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:
What do you do when you have been dealt an emotional blow, and need time to process that, but time is the one thing you don't have? Because you have to get back to work so you can make rent for example? Or because you're parenting small children and you're happy to get 5 minutes of quiet time on the toilet?
This episode tries to give some practical tips as to what you can do in situations like that using the low-key of example of getting over a dog training set-back as well as the example of not having been able to rescue a dog from behavioral euthanasia as a dog professional.
If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.
We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:
031 | Georgie of Trickwoofs on compassion fatigue in the dog training world, the parallels with raising a human child, learning to love frustration and more
If you follow any kind of dog related social media, then you will know Georgie, where she posts under the handle @trickwoofs.
You will have seen the lovely whimsical cartoons she draws about life with a reactive dog, which are so extremely on point they always make me laugh.
A particular cartoon comes to mind that has the guardian and their dog navigating the urban jungle that is the city, James Bond style, ducking behind walls and sneaking around corners, all in an attempt to avoid triggers.
The topics we discuss are as diverse as Georgie’s interests.
We talk about compassion fatigue in the dog training world, the parallels to raising a human child, learning to love frustration, following your passion and almost feeling like you’re not worthy of it, and so much more.
Did you know, Georgie transitioned from a modeling career to dog training?
Many people wanting to make a career switch in life will recognize the little voice that Georgie describes. The one that asks the question: Could I really be worthy of making a living doing the thing I love?
I ask Georgie about compassion fatigue in the dog world and the dog rescue world in particular.
She describes it as no longer feeling anything when you know you should be feeling something. It’s like the body shuts down to all emotions.
The question becomes. How does one prevent or overcome it? Georgie’s short answer is by finding community and talking about it! To not believe that there is some kind of limit below which it is no longer okay to ask for help.
She also recommends finding what works for you when it comes to doing a bodily reset. For her it’s yoga and breathwork, but for someone it might be boxing or rock climbing.
Mindset Episode 021 | Considering where the other person's coming from, when you feel triggered
Does your partner brush off your dog's reaction like it was nothing? Don't they understand the concept op threshold and the importance of limiting reactions? It's enough to make you fume! What could be going on on their end though?
Is your partner shouting at the dog? Do you so want to get in their face and tell them that's not acceptable? What could they be going through?
Are people telling you to stay calm, because it's your anxiety that is making the vet visits problematic for your dog? What could be behind them saying this?
No you can never know what another person's thinking, and yet there are instances when it can come in useful to at least guess at it.
Doing so can help you regulate your own emotions, come up with an appropriate response both in the moment and at a later time, and it can drastically reduce arguments and fights.
That's what I talk about in this episode.
If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.
We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:
This 50th jubilee episode of Ruff Around the Edges is in Dutch! Come back next episode for more English language content.
[Waarschuwing: Rond de 20 minuten horen we Thiseas even blaffen]
Maak kennis met Isabelle, het baasje van Thiseas, een adoptiehond uit Griekenland
Na een stressvolle start in het leven (Thiseas wordt met 6 weken met een gebroken pootje langs de weg gevonden en nadien ook nog met het vliegtuig naar zij nieuwe thuis vervoerd) is al snel duidelijk dat Thiseas meer nodig heeft dan de “hij moet het maar leren”-aanpak.
Isabelle vertelt hoe ze echt leerde kijken naar wie haar hond was, wie zij was en wat ze samen konden doen waar ze allebei lol aan hadden.
Eén van de dingen die Isabelle noemt is iets, dat ik nog niet vaak zo mooi expliciet heb horen benoemen.
Ze vertelt dat we als mens al gauw geneigd zijn om te kijken naar wat de hond moeilijk vindt en ons daar dan qua training op te focussen, terwijl het juist heel positief kan zijn op iets compleet anders te trainen, iets waar de hond en jij plezier uit halen. Dat zorgt voor meer zelfvertrouwen in de hond draagt zo op indirecte wijze bijdraagt aan verbetering van het “probleem”.
Zo voorkom je de frustratie die vaak bij beide partijen ontstaat door alleen op het probleemgedrag te trainen.
Wat ze ook heel duidelijk maakt is dat je op je buikgevoel moet vertrouwen. Als je zelf doorhebt dit werkt niet en je dat ook constant voelt, vertrouw er dan ook op.
Dan het thema “andere mensen” en hoe die met je hond omgaan. Hoe laat je de frustratie los rondom het niet opvolgen van je instructie? Wat als je al 100 keer aan je familie hebt gevraagd om geen oogcontact met je hond te maken als ze binnekomen? En ze doen het gewoon niet? Hoe zorg je dat je dat je niet gek laat maken?
Mindset Episode 020 | How to believe in overall success so you can work through setbacks
If only you knew you would get there in the end, then the setbacks wouldn't be so hard to bear.
If you just had someone who could guarantee you that, yes, your dog's going to go after a couple more cyclists and there will be 4 more periods of regression, but for sure 100% guaranteed they're going to get there, then that would probably make it easier to deal with the hard times, wouldn't it?
Knowing that spring is coming makes it easier to get through the winter (well, the winters in my neck of the wood at least, which aren't "great" in my opinion).
So how can we bottle a bit of that thinking and use it to our benefit? That's what this episode is about.
If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.
We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:
We talk about how she got into the business of dog training, which has a little something to do with her German Shepherd cross Indie.
We talk about the widespread misunderstanding that all dogs should love all dogs and I may or may not tell an anecdote of me hugging a stranger to try and show them that they wouldn’t appreciate being crowded either. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.
Ali also explains something that I think is amazing:
She tells new clients to first take a break from everything (like training) for a week or so, so they can reconnect with all the reasons why they love their dog in the first place.
Another tough nut to crack for most of us is that of questioning authority. Ali had fewer difficulties there as asking “Why?” comes naturally to her. My hope is that by listening to Ali talk, more people will feel free to do the same.
Ali’s training philosophy is that she wants to provide people with the skills that allow them to be able to tackle possible future setbacks, since it serves us well to take into account that your anxious dog will probably keep showing some anxiety from time to time, despite all the training effort you put in.
Speaking of training and being a trainer, working 80 hours a week is no exception in the dog world and at first it wasn’t for Ali either.
We talk about all things dog professional:
The emotional burden of being a dog trainer, the taking on the setback and emotions of your clients, not earning enough to make a living, and giving away a part of you every time so that there’s less and less of you to go around.
So, how did she manage to find that elusive work-life balance?
Mindset Episode 019 | The best way to relax is not what you think
Do you ever have a hard time relaxing after something stressful happens?
You want to be in control of your emotions so your bad mood doesn't rub off on your dog or others around you.
If you're angry at something, you want to calm down so you don't accidentally start a fight by lashing out at another person or so that you don't end up being unnecessarily harsh with your dog.
My guess is that one of your strategies is to focus on regaining calmness as quickly as possible, by doing some version of a relaxation exercise.
That's skipping an important step though, one that might allow you to forsake the relaxation exercises altogether.
It's one of the things that have had the biggest impact on my quality of life and I am sharing it with you in this episode.
If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.
We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:
Jumy is a positive reinforcement horse trainer from the U.A.E. who opened her own livery yard, malath paddock paradise, 3 years ago, but she’s been in the industry for 13 years already.
I ask lots of no doubt cringe worthy questions, as I know nothing about horses, and we touch upon a ton of things.
Of course I want to know how Jumy ended up in the force free training world.
Unlike many dog guardians it wasn’t because she had exhausted punitive methods or because her horse had behavioral problems.
Rather it was trick training that sparked the idea of using positive reinforcement training to train all kinds of behavior. If you can use it to teach a horse tricks, why couldn’t you use it to teach other behaviors after all?
Being a trailblazer had both upsides and downsides.
The biggest positive was that she never fell into any kind of trap of wanting to be able to do it all and know it all at once. She simply had to follow a try-as-you-go path of discovery.
When her clients find her though, it usually is because they are experiencing problems with their horses. So we discuss Jumy’s approach to dealing with horse guardians who may be using tools on their horses that she doesn’t necessarily agree with.
Her assumption is that the guardian loves their horse. She never wants to shame them or make the feel guilty about their choice of tool. Rather she lets them draw their own conclusions.
So what about the differences? With the horse being a prey animal and the dog being a predator, Jumy explains how that affects the required rate of reinforcement.
Then there is natural horsemanship. Jumy explains her views on that and how horses who are trained with that method can mentally shut down.
Mindset Episode 018 | When something or someone always suffers because you're juggling too many things
This podcast episode is a reply to an email I received from someone on my email-list.
They wrote: I was constantly trying to manage between work, my dogs, my almost adult kids, my house, a big yard with a lot of plants, my husband, my extended family, and some time for myself!
Sound familiar?
You're juggling all the things, but no matter the effort, it seems like something or someone is always suffering, because you never manage to get it quite right. Guilt is inevitable. Spend time on one thing and the other thing suffers.
1) Is that even true though? That someone is always suffering? 2) And are you even spending your energy where you want to spend it? Are you living in line with your priorities?
These are the two main topics I discuss in this podcast episode.
If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.
We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:
We talk about allowing emotions in ours dogs and ourselves similar to what we do with our children and not feeling the pressure to of needing to respond to something.
And of course, we talk about her art, and her other project which is the development of a treat dispensing muzzle. What keeps her going? What allows her to press pause when needed? What has she learned about failure and also:
How DOES she manage to combine all the things she does (and she does a LOT)?
If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.
We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:
Isabelle legt uit welk inzicht haar daar veel geholpen heeft.
Hoe ze heeft geleerd om geen probleem meer te hebben met kritiek van anderen.
Wat doe je met ongevraagd advies?
De kracht van het omgaan met gelijkgestemden en het belang om je eigen twijfels te kunnen delen met anderen komt ook aan bod, net als het schuldgevoel als je eens voor jezelf en niet voor je hond kiest. Ook daar vertelt Isabelle hoe ze dat oppakt.
Verder komt het topic van medicatie voorbij. Juist een podcast aflevering van Ruff Around the Edges (die met Annie Phenix) tipte Isabelle om op tijd contact op te nemen met een gedragsdeskundige toen ze zag dat Thiseas begon te fixeren op reflecties. Medicatie laat hem juist meer zichzelf zijn in plaats van minder.
Als laatste hebben we het ook nog over “adopt, don’t shop” in het licht van de flinke rugzak die adoptiehonden soms met zich meedragen.
If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.
We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:
Upon moving to the USA she completely restructured her business and she explains what that looks like.
Her advice to aspiring dog trainers: Don’t try to be everything to all people.
And finally, there’s Ali’s summary of her thoughts on expectation, frustration and celebration. It’s so on point, that I would be remiss if I didn’t write it down here:
If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.
We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:
Naturally, I ask about her dogs who live at the stables and are allowed to free roam. Funnily enough, they chill most of the time, unless they are breaking up horse fights or they decide to come along on a hack with the horses, that is.
Finally, Jumy explains her criteria for canceling a session with a horse when she isn’t in the right mindset herself, and what the alternatives are, such as adapting the type of the session to her energy levels.
If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.
We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:
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