Provoking Your Greatness - Misti Burmeister – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Want employees who care greatly about creating remarkable results? Listen to this interview! Lee Cockerell is one of the most down-to-earth and transparent leaders I've been privileged to interview. Far beyond management and leadership, Lee got to the heart of what's needed to provoke greatness in yourself and your team.

Enjoy!

Resources from the interview:

7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Zero to One

Learn more about Lee Cockerell's speaking and online courses here.

Here's to your greatness,

Misti Burmeister

"Why don't they put more time and attention to that client? If they don't, they might lose them."

"Can't they see I would be excellent in that position? Why don't they consider me?"

"Don't they understand that if they'd just have more team building activities throughout the year everyone would work better together? Collaboration clearly improved after our yearly retreat."

"Why don't they spend a little extra money on the furniture in our waiting area? At least they could provide fresh tea/coffee and relaxing (or energizing) music for guests! Seriously, don't they understand that we'll have a better reputation, and therefore more customers, if we did?"

Ever find yourself saying or thinking any of the above statements?

They, of course, are the responsible ones—the Owner, CEO, Executive in charge. And if they'd simply listen to you, then everyone would be better off, including them.

This is the way many of us think when faced with subpar performance, communities, election results, and even our workplaces. We see and hear a clear problem, even life-threatening, and chose to pass the buck, saying, "It's not my responsibility."

Those were almost the exact words Jackie said after I shared my concern about a slick spot on the pool deck where I narrowly avoided a serious injury. Concerned for others, I brought it to the attention of a long-term employee, Jackie, who casually said, "Yeah, we know about that spot."

"You know that spot is there and you're doing nothing to repair it?" I thought, loudly while desperately wanting to shake her and the entire leadership team.

Recognizing such an action (or even a complaint to the manager) would do no good, I've begun thinking about how I can help. Not because I have to—indeed, I'm a paying member—but because I love swimming there.

The idea of asking myself how I can help fix that slick spot was inspired by Dr. Marc Cesari, a chiropractor in Baltimore, Maryland. As the only employee in a new office space in Towson, Marc wanted the waiting area to be inviting, peaceful and filled with inspiration. Rather than wait for the Owner's approval to outfit the waiting room, he bought the furniture, painted the walls and ensures cleanliness.

"Wait, what—you paid for this furniture out of your own pocket? It's not your business—you're his employee. Is he going to reimburse you at least?" I asked.

"Yes, I did pay for it, and without asking for permission to be reimbursed. If he can't see the value of this furniture, then I'll eat the cost to ensure I get to work in a space I'm proud of," he responded almost as if everyone should behave in the same way.

Indeed, such thinking aids greatly in getting the results we want. In fact, it prompted me to send a message to the manager asking how I can help remedy the situation. Not that I know a thing about pool decks, but I'd certainly be happy to sand it down if that would help.

What do you find yourself irritated with or complaining about? What can you do today to be a part of the solution?  

Here's to Your Greatness,

Misti Burmeister

P.S. Need more focus and energy in your work? Check out our brand new Gearing for Greatness package today.

Confidence in nearly every endeavor comes with a sense of knowing or familiarity. In sports, strengthening the fundamentals is key to making critical decisions in a split second.

The same thing is true when it comes to gaining confidence in yourself. 

Confidence in yourself increases in direct portion to self-awareness. The more experience you have with self-talk, the more confidence you'll have. Self-awareness leads to self-confidence. By becoming aware of the results you're creating every day, you have the power to change them.

Here are 10 daily habits to strengthening your self-confidence:

Review. At the end of every day, carve out 10-20 minutes to review the day. Write about what worked well and what didn't work so well. At the end of the month, review what you wrote and watch as patterns begin emerging.      

Challenge. Set a specific, tangible, measurable and meaningful goal. The more challenging it is, the greater the wisdom you gain. The lessons learned in pursuit of any goal effects our confidence in every other area of life. Athletics, learning new skills, academics, adventure, career, etc.—each one impacts the others.

Meditate. Begin by sitting comfortably for five undisrupted minutes every day. Close your eyes and notice the thoughts running through your mind, the pace of your heart, the sounds around you, the areas of your body that feel tense and relaxed. The key: simply notice—no positive or negative judgments.

Feedback. Ask people to help you understand how you come across, what works well and what simple adjustments can be made to get even better results.

Learn. Read a chapter or two of an instructional book, watch a TED Talk, attend a lecture or simply observe a colleague, boss, employee, or even a child. Take note of what others do/don't do that works, or works against them. Write about this during your daily review time.

Share. Teach, mentor or coach others on the lessons you've learned and/or the skills you've gained. Doing so is a great way to deepen your understanding, while strengthening relationships and encouraging collaboration.

Laugh. Watch a funny video on YouTube, look up your favorite comedian (or find one—Ellen Degeneres is one of my favs!), or call a buddy who always seems to have a joke or funny experience to share.

Get Inspired. Expose yourself to people and experiences that inspire you. TED Talks, podcasts, spiritual teachers, courageous memoirs, listening to another persons' story, and noticing kindness in action are all excellent ways get inspired.

Give. Foster a meaningful introduction, acknowledge/appreciate others, smile, hug, send a notecard in the mail, contribute to someone's fundraising goal, listen generously, or even give your favorite shirt to the person admiring it. The gift is for the giver.

Exercise. Get your heart rate up for 30 minutes every day. A brisk walk, running, weight lifting, push-ups, air squats, lunges, tennis, yoga, kick boxing, swimming, biking, and even Wii Fit are all excellent ways to get your heart rate up.

Here's to your greatness,

Misti Burmeister

I had the great privilege of being in Kara DelVecchio's audience at a recent conference focused on women in leadership in the Washington, DC area. Her stories and passion were enough to capture my attention for well over an hour—in fact, I was nearly late getting set up for a session I was responsible for because I was so intrigued.

When she agreed to let me interview her for this podcast, my fingers couldn't type my questions quickly enough. Her journey, curiosity, courage and compassion are enlivening and inspiring—so was this interview. Enjoy!

Resources from the interview:

--Willful Blindness by Margret Heffernan

--The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer

--Kara on LinkedIn

About Kara:

Kara DelVecchio is the Vice President of Sales, responsible for North American revenue for WeddingWire. She oversees an inside sales team of more than 150 sales professionals and is focused on delivering profitable growth and scaling the organization for future success.

Prior to joining WeddingWire, Kara held a variety of roles at Corporate Executive Board, and most recently served as Executive Director of North American sales overseeing a $400m revenue line. Kara has more than 15 years of experience leading complex sales organizations in a fast paced environment and managing client relationships with Fortune 500 executives.

Kara holds a Bachelors Degree from Florida Atlantic University and a Masters Degree from the University of Virginia.  She lives in Alexandria, Virginia with her husband Robert and three children.

Here's to your greatness,

Misti Burmeister

Confidence comes from the Latin word confide, which means to entrust. Self-confidence, then, is about learning to trust yourself with yourself. Just as it takes experiences over time to trust others, trusting in your own experience of life requires that same kind of intention and attention.

Remember the first time you sat behind the steering wheel of a car to drive? With your heart pumping, you tried to remember all the critical elements of driving, like gas! Too focused on adjusting the mirrors, getting your seat just right and thinking through all the rules of the road, you completely forgot to look at the gas gauge.

Caught up in the busyness of traffic five minutes into your lesson, your instructor asks, "Without looking at the gauge, how much gas do we have?"

Clueless, you add check gas gauge to your mental checklist for your next excursion.

After several months, you start getting the hang of this driving thing, pass your test and venture out on the road alone for the first time, loving the freedom. Before you know it, you're flying down the road, blaring music, while eating a burger and joking with friends.

How did you go from gripping the steering wheel to grabbing a bite, while effortlessly shifting in and out of lanes? The obvious answer is intendaware.

Intendaware: To intentionally become aware of the beliefs and behaviors that enable results you want. (I'll be sure to add the word to Wikipedia soon.)

By intentionally becoming aware of the various elements of driving, you shifted your critical checklist over to automatic behaviors.

Gaining self-confidence works the same way. By intentionally becoming aware of your behaviors and results, you increase self-awareness. Such awareness, along with a heavy dose of compassion, leads to an increase in self-confidence.

The better you understand and like yourself, the greater your self-confidence will be. The challenge comes in when you discover behaviors or beliefs you dislike, which almost always leads to criticism—self-inflicted, mostly.

Just as you quickly discovered that you forgot to look at the gas gauge, you will undoubtedly begin finding areas for improvement in your own behaviors. While such mistakes are acceptable (expected, really) when learning to drive, we do not naturally grant ourselves permission to not know in most areas of life, ourselves included.

It's actually this lack of permission that leads to defending the very behaviors that produce results we don't want. Thus, as Carl Young once said, "What you resist persists."

By giving yourself permission to not know yourself, you give yourself a chance to discover. The great news is that discovery (awareness) itself is the most important element to shifting behaviors, and therefore results. Once you are aware of the fact, for example, that your opinions are not being taken seriously in the boardroom, you can begin investigating the beliefs and behaviors that may be causing this result.

With such authentic curiosity, you may quickly find that you have unintentionally avoided taking a seat at the table while simultaneously increasing your pitch when sharing ideas. Without recognizing it, you may have set yourself up for being glossed over or ignored. By remaining focused on discovery (awareness), you can gain insights without fighting (resisting) and begin experimenting with new behaviors and beliefs.

You may find that certain behaviors challenge your belief system and then need time to sort out what beliefs will most closely support the evolution of your spirit, along with the attainment of your goals.

While this is not the easiest work on the planet, it is the most reliable way to systematically increase your confidence.

Confidence comes with knowing, knowing comes with discovery and discovery is a lifelong process that commands heaps of humor, hugs and hustle. So sit back, grab a cup of tea, open your notebook and get ready to begin incorporating the top 10 daily habits to increased confidence—up next week.

Here's to your greatness,

Misti Burmeister

When asked what it was like to be blind, Helen Keller said, "It's much better to have no sight than it is not to have a vision."

While some people seem to be born with a clear vision for their life that naturally morphs into their career and inspires their team, most of us have to take the time to allow our vision to emerge. Interestingly, the difficulty in creating a vision isn't what we think it is.

Creating a clear picture of a desired future that inspires us requires a two-pronged approach: being and doing. We're very good at doing, and lack intensely in being and noticing. Few allow themselves the time to do the mundane tasks that provoke awareness and cause (day)dreaming, critical elements in the visioning process.

(Day)dreaming feels like a waste of time because it lacks a sense of accomplishment. And, being present to our thoughts is almost always anxiety producing and uncomfortable. In a community that almost exclusively celebrates doing over being, such a focus is both foreign and uncomfortable.

While doing leaves us with a clear sense of accomplishment, noticing what triggers emotion inside of us does not. Yet, it's noticing what triggers our emotions that gives us the fuel necessary to not only create a vision, but see it through to completion.

Twelve years ago, I was angry with seasoned professionals, who clearly did not understand that my intention was to do a good job, contribute, and help the team succeed. Instead, I came across as needy, unwilling to pay my dues, and entitled. That last one really irritated me.

"Why shouldn't we all be entitled to give every ounce of what we have to offer," I thought, soon after I quit my job and started researching. It was anger that fueled my research, curiosity, and passion. Had I ignored or suppressed my anger, I doubt I would have helped dozens of leaders to bridge the gap between generations.

It was my realization that every person, regardless of generation, wants to contribute and feel the joy that comes from a sense of accomplishment that lead me to provoking greatness. When I see blinders to greatness, I want to shatter them.

This irritation (passion) probably also has to do with going from standing in front of a judge in juvenile court as a youngster, to breaking recorders in sports, and ultimately finishing three degrees before starting this business. We all have greatness inside of us, and many of us are waiting for permission (provocation) to share/live it.

It's this realization that leads me to being purposeful and intentional with where I spend my time every day. When the ego gives way to greatness, and a whole team courageously steps into their passion (upping their game), waves of joy wash over me—it's the reason I do this work. And there's no way I would have ever gotten to such clarity had I ignored my irritation and stayed in that job.

Considering our comfort with doing, I want to offer a few, seemingly mundane, activities that lend themselves to noticing, being and daydreaming. Here they are:

1. Make a commitment of going once or twice a week, and then get yourself there. Just do it.
2. Grab a coloring book and give yourself a few hours to color.
3. Go someplace you've never gone, and have an experience you've never had. Doing so will give you new perspective on yourself and the world. This does not need to include an airplane or hotel stay, though it's fun when it does!
4. Meet up groups are a great way to experience a variety of trails with others. You can always do the trails on your own later, if flying solo on a new trail isn't comfortable.
5. For some (often men), this looks like messing around with projects in the garage. For others (often women), this looks like cooking, crocheting, or making stuff.

The key is to pick an activity that is meditative, and allows you to do while noticing your thoughts. 

Here's to your greatness,

Misti Burmeister

P.S. If you'd like to attract the NFL players of your industry and aren't sure where to begin, check out my latest book.

Margie Warrell  has inspired millions of people around the globe to use their courage as a weapon to combat fear. As an avid follower of Margie's work, I was excited to have a chance to learn about her journey, along with her perspective on the current state of the world during these political times.

Throughout the interview, we talk about how she went from being the oldest of seven, growing up on a dairy farm, to interviewing and working with respected leaders including Sir Richard Branson, Kathy Calvin, Bill Marriott, and Marianne Williamson. We also dive into the specifics of how Margie helps leaders set the stage for greatness to emerge, both through her seminars and coaching.

More about Margie Warrell and how to get in touch—

Margie is the host of RawCourage.TV and a certified master coach. An acclaimed keynote speaker and guest lecturer at Columbia and Georgetown University, Margie's also a sought after expert commentator with leading media such as the Wall Street Journal, Redbook, Psychology Today, Fox News, Today Show and Al Jazeera. Her Forbes Courage Works column has been read by millions.

A passionate advocate for gender equality, Margie founded Global Courage in 2010 to empower women to be braver leaders across all sectors of society. She's since been appointed by the Australian government as the first Ambassador for Women in Global Business and is a Women's Economic Forum honoree. She's also an Ambassador for Beyond Blue committed to removing the stigma around mental illness that amplifies suffering for those affected by it (Margie's family members among them.)

Gain access to Margie's newest tools and resources by subscribing to her blog at www.MargieWarrell.com.

Additional resources mentioned during the podcast: Byron Katie.  

Margie, you are a blessing—Thank you for the work you do every day!

Here's to your greatness,

Misti Burmeister

Just nine years away from what he referred to as the socially acceptable date for retirement, Sam shared about the fear of filling his time—"I need to keep my brain active, and I'm not sure what I'll do without people needing my help, or the excitement of winning the deal. My work brings purpose and structure to my days."

When work provides such a strong sense of identity, belonging and accolades, letting go of the known for what's next can be terrifying. The feeling of being needed, having a sense of belonging, and the adrenaline of accomplishment can stop us from disconnecting on vacation, spending quality time with friends/family, relaxing or even retiring.

When habits are deeply rooted in accomplishment, it's difficult to trust the stillness, especially when the accomplishments are netting accolades that stir cravings for more. These cravings can easily keep us hustling even when we're ready to step into our next greatest area of contribution.

Experience (and research) has continuously demonstrated that the greatest way to see the path striving to reveal itself is by getting quiet, unplugging and listening intently.  Through silence and authentically connecting with ourselves, we gain the capacity to hear and see our greatness.

The silence grants us access to seeing our path, along with the grit (courage) to step onto it.

"I want to know God's thoughts, the rest are details." –Albert Einstein

Once there, the peace and freedom from incessant nagging to maintain a certain level of success diminishes. We begin to experience the truth of our inherent worthiness in the silence, and cease to need the adrenaline shots provided by external validation. Such stillness grants us the access we need to hear our next direction.

So, how do we explore such stillness in a way that is sustainable and enriching, rather than consuming and overwhelming? Start small, notice what's helpful and then build on it.

Here's a great way to get started:

1. Grab a timer and set it for five minutes.
2. Sit in a comfortable position with your hands resting on your knees, facing toward the sky, and then push the start button on the timer.
3. Close your eyes and notice the thoughts running through your mind, the pace of your heart, the sounds around you, the areas of your body that feel tense, and relaxed. The key: simply notice.

Becoming the observer of your own experiences is a natural and kind way of helping yourself see what you may be missing during the busyness of the day. This approach is far easier to incorporate and build upon then throwing ourselves into a multi-week silent meditation retreat.

Getting started and staying consistent are two critical elements to getting the most value out of meditation. Said simply, comfort and clarity don't tend to come in one session, though the compound effect will aid greatly in gaining the clarity you seek.

When entering a new phase in life, it's natural to go through an "identity crisis" of sorts. After existing one way for a prolonged period of time, "flipping a switch" and living a different way feels unnatural and like a complete waste of time.

It's important to waste your time, though! Doing so allows us to realize things about ourselves that we never thought about until now. There are ways to use everyday (and even mundane) activities to gain the clarity you crave. It seems impossible, but once you have the roadmap for getting there, it won't seem so daunting.

Check back next week to find out why it's important to "waste" your time and what you can do to help carve the path you desire for your future.

Here's to your greatness,

Misti Burmeister

P.S. Been meditating for a while? Ready to add to your practice? The following are a few helpful additions:

—Add another five-minute session at a different time during the day.

—Put a pen and paper next to your meditation spot and give yourself a couple of extra minutes to write down any thoughts or ideas.

—Add breathing exercises or chanting to your meditation.

—Keeping your eyes closed, add stretching/movement. Doing so gives you a chance to feel where you may be holding tension. Pick one or two from this list to get started, and then trust your body to add in additional moves.     

—Increase from five minutes to ten minutes.

Imagine standing inside a giant jar of jellybeans, minus the beans and delicious smell.

Looking through the glass, you can see there is a label, but you cannot figure out what it says. You can also see dozens of other people, all within their respective jars, none of whom can see what's written on their own label.

You can see their label and they can see yours, but no one can see their own.

This is exactly where most of us find ourselves when it comes to understanding our own greatness and how to improve. We want growth, but it's difficult to know how without gaining insight from others. Since we think we're supposed to know what's on the label, we end up with a recipe for insanity and stalled performance.

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." –Albert Einstein

Creating a systematic approach to giving and receiving feedback ensures consistency in having a chance to gain perspective, share our own and evolve in the process.

Here are seven quick tips to make performance reviews effective:

Set Specific Goals. When you know what goals are important to each of your team members, performance reviews become a vehicle for helping them succeed.

Purposeful. When you tie feedback to meaningful and specific results (individual or team), incorporating your feedback becomes worthwhile. 

Railroad Approach. By helping your team recognize how their professional goals contribute to your team goals, you set yourself up to provide helpful feedback for both parties. 

Deliberate Distress. By consistently (daily, when possible) creating opportunities for giving and receiving feedback, you train your team to let their guards down while remaining open to feedback.  

Take note. When you see an opportunity for improvement, or a chance to acknowledge a job well done, share in the moment (when appropriate and helpful). Take note of the experience so that you can easily highlight behavior patterns during more formal reviews.  

Reflective. Good performance reviews require reflection. By allowing yourself time to reflect on your team's individual performances, you arm yourself with thoughtful and specific feedback that's actionable and growth provoking.

Keep it Real. By consistently seeking feedback, you keep yourself tapped into the challenge of receiving difficult feedback along with the joy of hearing what a great job you've done. Both are helpful in adjusting your approach to have the greatest impact on others.

Find your way toward consistency in this area of your leadership and watch as you become a magnet for greatness.

Here's to your greatness,

Misti Burmeister

P.S. If you'd like to attract the NFL players of your industry and aren't sure where to begin, check out my latest book.

There are tons of articles out there that discuss advancing your career—about seven million, to be exact. It shouldn't be surprising to see why it's a confusing topic. While there is no magic bullet, simple strategies can be taken to land the opportunities you want.

As I enjoyed a delicious breakfast with Stacey, a talented leader in the tech industry, I marveled at a story she shared about a young man, Keith, who has gone from being brand new in the industry to vying for a producer position in less than two years.

"He may just get it too, Misti," Stacey shared, "And he's up against well-established, credentialed producers who have a clear understanding of how to communicate across teams."

Intrigued, I asked about what Keith had done to become one of the top two candidates vying for this position.

"If I didn't know better, Misti, I would think he was being coached directly by you—seriously!" Stacey said, and then began listing the following actions he'd taken:

• Took it upon himself (time and money) to get scrum master certified after he found out the training was critical to the position.
• Reached out to a few producers and asked for a meeting to learn about what they do every day. He even job-shadowed them several times, helping out where he could.
• Sent follow up emails to those producers, thanking them for their time and explaining what he'd learned.
• Found out the position was coming available, and applied.
• Demonstrated both passion and interest as we went through the interview process—"His enthusiasm is infectious," Stacey said.
• Sent "Thank you" emails to every person who was part of the interview process. In fact, here's one of the emails he sent…

"I appreciate having had the opportunity to speak with you about the open Producer position. I am eager to apply the experience I've gained and help facilitate the needs of our teams while ensuring we deliver a product that our players will enjoy. I would also like to thank you again for the time you've spent giving me an inside look into how you work as a Producer and sharing your experiences with me that I can learn from. I'm looking forward to hearing the results of the interview and would be thrilled to have the opportunity to be a part of the Production team."

After learning all this, I asked Stacey to compare these two candidates, along with her thought process for both.

"The veteran employee knows our processes, making it far easier to transition him into the position, immediately alleviating the burden to our extra load. Initially, Keith will take more effort to get going, but he may also bring fresh ideas, and help strengthen our processes," Stacey said.

"Which one do you think your team will pick?" I asked, secretly hoping she'd say Keith. Okay, maybe it wasn't so secret. ;)

"Probably the veteran employee, but I'm just not sure yet," she said.

"Even if we pick the veteran this go round, I will personally meet with Keith and let him know that all his work has not gone unnoticed. I will keep my eyes and ears open for future opportunities, both within our company and elsewhere. I want to see him succeed," Stacey said.

While they may need to go for the short-term benefits of experience this time, Keith will walk away with the bare minimum of interviewing experience, a team of producers who have been inspired by his hustle, and at least one career advocate. 

Which candidate would you pick?

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." ― Maya Angelou

Get inspired, share your enthusiasm, invest in yourself, say "thank you," and apply for the position. Do this over and over again, and watch as you naturally progress into the opportunities you crave.

Find this information valuable? Please share the wealth! Forward it to your friends, colleagues, and bosses… and be sure to share on social media.

Here's to your greatness,

Misti Burmeister     

P.S. Imagine the difference it could make for the veteran employee if he found a way to keep his enthusiasm high and his perspective fresh. Just as consistent exercise is critical to long-term health, exposure and inspiration are critical to enthusiasm and a fresh perspective.

P.P.S. If you'd like to attract the NFL players of your industry and aren't sure where to begin, check out my latest book.