Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Master Your Relationship Mind Drama
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Titre
Date
Durée
129. Perfectionism and black & white thinking in relationships
04 Apr 2025
00:23:05
Does your brain have a very all-or-nothing way of looking at yourself and your relationships?
You either did it perfectly or you're terrible.
You're a good friend or a bad friend.
Your partner either says the exact right thing or they must not care about you at all.
If so - you're not alone!
Our brains are actually predisposed to be very black & white in the way they think - preferring things to fit neatly into set categories - leaving very little room for nuance or shades of grey.
In today's episode I'm covering:
A recent example of my own perfectionist brain
How black & white thinking impacts our relationship with ourselves
How it impacts our relationships with others
How it can mess with our expectations and overall enjoyment of a relationship
And some easy thought work hacks to take your brain to a more nuanced place!
Mentioned in the episode
Email me about coaching opportunities: Rebecca@rebeccaorecoaching.com
128. Relationship doubts - Am I in the ‘right’ relationship & fear of choosing 'wrong'
28 Mar 2025
00:28:36
In today's episode, I'm talking about relationships doubts and anxiety - something which is often referred to as ROCD (Relationship OCD).
For many of my clients, they're in relationships with loving partners & they don't want to break up with them - BUT their brains will not let them relax.
They find themselves constantly questioning 'Am I in the right relationship?' and overthinking and nit-picking everything their partner says and does.
If you can relate, here's what I'm covering today:
Why asking 'Am I in the 'right' relationship'? is the wrong question
The myth of 'The One'
The unreasonable relationship expectations that may be f*cking with you
How to discover what your brain is trying to keep you safe from
A process to guide yourself through a moment of doubt
AND how to change the way you think about your partner's flaws
Mentioned in the episode:
Contact Rebecca about coaching: Rebecca@rebeccaorecoaching.com
125. Listener Q&A (Feeling guilt, missing a 'sign', busy partners, partner w/ female friends - AND MORE)
07 Mar 2025
00:34:48
In today's episode - I'm answering questions written in by some of you lovely listeners.
We're going to cover a wide range of topics, including:
Feeling guilt for things like finding other people attractive
Should I tell my partner about the work I'm doing on myself?
The fear of missing a sign that you're being cheated on
Feeling like you attract busy partners - and how to get your needs met
How to catch yourself before you project your insecurities
Dealing with a partner with female friends
NOTE - Just because these things may not directly describe what you're struggling with, that doesn't mean the coaching won't still apply to YOUR brain.
No one is going to be in your exact situation - but the fears, thought errors, and behavioural patterns will be surprisingly similar!
Maybe your partner mentions a new co-worker, or a friend you're a little insecure about, or maybe you get that pit in your stomach when your best friend mentions one of their other friends...
Jealousy is a normal human emotion.
But it can cause so much havoc when left unchecked.
In this episode we're talking about:
What jealousy is
Having compassion for our jealous brains
Types of jealousy
The biggest lies jealousy tells us
How to coach your brain out of moments of jealousy
AND how to deal with situations where a boundary might be being violated by your partner
Do you feel terrified about what your partner may or may not be doing online...
Here's a snippet from a question I received from a listener: "My question is about trusting someone in the digital age. It feels like more and more our devices are built for hiding things. Every social media app now seems to have a vanishing mode for deleting conversations, and every new version of an operating system offers additional “privacy” features. For someone working hard to heal their anxious attachment tendencies—including hyper vigilance—it feels exhausting! Like trouble could be lurking in every (digital) corner."
Can you relate?
In today's episode, I'm talking all about trust in the digital age. And covering:
Is it easier to lie and hide things nowadays?
What we're actually afraid of
The beliefs that often fuel our fears
Should you be checking their phone?
AND setting boundaries around online behaviour
118. Turning relationship fears into courage
17 Jan 2025
00:21:38
Anyone who has ever felt anxiety in their relationships will know what it's like to feel constantly afraid.
To fear what other people might be thinking of us... To fear what our partners or friends might do... To fear having to start again... To fear being alone...
But I believe the antidote to fear is courage.
And so in today's episode, I'm talking about:
What courage is
What loving without fear can create
What loving courageously looks like
And how to cultivate more courage in your relationships
116. Stop letting your story about the past ruin your relationships
03 Jan 2025
00:24:38
Our brains are always constructing a narrative.
We make meanings out of the things that have happened in our pasts, and then these stories shape and distort the way we think about situations in our present and what we create for our futures.
But did you know that you could rewrite your entire past, simply by changing the way you think about it?
Have you been cheated on... Broken up with... Made a big mistake... Struggled in dating...
These events could be long gone but the story you tell yourself about them could be shaping your reality today.
Tune in to learn why rewriting the story you tell about the past is important and how to get started today!
114. Boundaries and regressing around family (Holiday special)
20 Dec 2024
00:11:10
Feeling dread as Christmas approaches? Worrying about spending time with family members and feeling triggered?
Have you done a lot of work on yourself this year, and fear that it may all fly out the window as soon as you're around your parents, neighbours, or distant relatives?
If so... I've got you!
This is the reminder we ALL need this time of year.
113. If it's not my partner's job to 'make me feel good', what's the point of relationships? (BLAST FROM THE PAST)
13 Dec 2024
00:17:53
This week, I'm resharing one of my older episodes which answers a really common question I get when I teach people that their partners don't create their feelings.
People ask me: 'But if my partner isn't creating my emotions for me, and their job isn't to 'make me feel good' - then what's the point of relationships?!'
If your brain has offered a similar question...
This episode is for YOU!
112. Our obsession with ‘red flags’ (and why it’s unhelpful)
06 Dec 2024
00:23:46
Do you see posts on Instagram about red flags and instantly feel the pit of anxiety in your stomach?
Are you often worried about missing the signs that your partner isn't trustworthy?
And have you beaten yourself up in the past for 'not seeing it coming' and felt embarrassed, stupid, and naïve?
If so - this episode is for YOU.
I'm offering an opposing opinion on red flags and talking about why our obsession with them isn't actually helpful.
Listen to find out:
Why the idea of red flags fuels anxiety
What we're really most afraid of
How self-certainty can be created, even in the uncertainty of relationships
Do you ever fear that challenging your thoughts about other people's behaviour means you're gaslighting yourself?
Do you want to make sure you're using these tools in a way that empowers you and doesn't keep you stuck in relationships that aren't truly what you want?
Then this episode is for YOU!
I'm discussing:
The reason why we challenge our thinking
When fear of leaving a relationship gets in the way of making a conscious decision
How the first thought your brain offers you isn't the ultimate 'true' thought
Interested in 1:1 coaching?
Email: rebecca@rebeccaorecoaching.com
103. How responsible am I for their feelings?
04 Oct 2024
00:27:24
Do you often find yourself feeling responsible for the way other people feel?
Feeling guilty if they're mad at you? Or changing your behaviour to try and manage other people's emotions?
Do you hear me say that other people don't create our feelings... but find that hard to grasp when it comes to your actions influencing other people's emotions?
If so - this episode is for YOU!
Don't forget to leave a review or a rating if you found this episode useful!
102. BLAST FROM THE PAST: Can I trust them?
20 Sep 2024
00:15:20
Today I’m sharing a blast from the past - in the form of one of the first podcast episodes I ever recorded.
Do you struggle with trusting your partner?
Are you constantly questioning... but WHAT IF they are going to cheat or leave me one day? How can I trust them!!
Then this episode is for you.
We're going to uncover what trust actually is and why you don't need to focus so much on trusting THEM when you can trust YOURSELF.
101. 5 questions for when you're feeling rejected
13 Sep 2024
00:21:44
Our unmanaged minds can create so much unnecessary pain and drama in our relationships.
If you often feel rejected and hurt in your relationships - then this episode is for YOU.
I'm offering you 5 questions to help you take back control of your fearful brain and feel empowered - regardless of what the other person is doing.
Do you often avoid having the harder conversations with loved ones?
Not really being truly honest about how you feel and sweeping things under the rug to avoid conflict?
Or maybe you do bring up issues, but you do it in a way that doesn't tend to result in connection...
Then this episode is for YOU!
I'm going to talk you through some key steps for cleaning up your own mind before difficult conversations and some practical tips for showing up as your best self.
AND how to make the conversation a SUCCESS - regardless of their response.
90. What were you taught to think about love and relationships?
28 Jun 2024
00:28:18
In this week's episode, I'm talking about how our upbringing, society, and external influencers can shape and determine the way we think about ourselves, love, and relationships.
Do you automatically think being single in your 30s is a bad thing?
Do you feel a bit shocked when you hear someone doesn't want kids?
Do you find yourself behaving in ways that don't really serve you, but you're not sure why?
Are you super hard on yourself? And feel like you're never meeting the standard you (or others) have set for you?
If any of these things relate, this episode is for you.
I will also be sharing 6 common beliefs I see screwing with my clients' brains and offering ways to challenge them.
Do you find yourself often doing what others want you to do, without giving much thought to your own preferences and desires?
Do you tend to make decisions on what's more likely to be approved of, consciously or subconsciously trying to avoid the risk of people being mad at you?
If so - you're probably already familiar with the term 'People pleaser'.
And in today's episode, I'm talking about the different types of people pleasing, why we do it, AND why being willing to risk rejection will change your relationships for the better.
Do you feel overly impacted by other people's bad moods?
Like if your partner is grumpy after work - YOU automatically feel annoyed or irritated?
Or if your friend is being a little short with you - YOU automatically feel anxious?
If so - this episode is for you!
I'm going to teach you why other people's moods are never what's actually determining the way you feel, what actually is, AND how to take back control over your own emotional experience.
80. Dating mind drama - A conversation with Talia Koren
19 Apr 2024
00:56:58
In today's episode - listen to me chat with dating expert, Talia Koren - host of the Dating Intentionally podcast, about all things dating & mind drama!