Marriage Lab - Aaron & Jenna Zint

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Don't ask triggered people BIG questions

vendredi 3 avril 2026 • Durée 21:27

Ever ask gradually big relationship question in the middle of an argument… and then regretted the answer?

In this episode, we break down a common (but damaging) pattern:
asking life-defining questions when someone is emotionally triggered.

What it often looks like 👇
• “Why didn’t you invite me?”
→ “Do you have more fun with them?”
→ “So you don’t have fun with me?”
→ “Do you even enjoy being around me?”

→“Do you even like me?”
→ “Are you happier without me?”
→ “Is something wrong with us?”
→ “Do you even want this relationship?”

😬 See how fast it escalates?

We unpack:
• Why triggered brains give exaggerated, painful answers
• The “staircase” of escalation most couples fall into
• The difference between curiosity vs. panic-driven questioning
• What’s actually happening in your brain (emotional flooding + amygdala hijack)
• Why you’re not “getting clarity”… you’re digging for pain

And most importantly—
the simple habit that protects your relationship:
👉 Don’t ask big questions when someone is triggered.

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation more hurt than helped, this episode will give you a better path:
pause → regulate → return to clarity.

A week left: Click here for more info

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

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How calls with your spouse go sideways (& how to fix it)

mardi 17 mars 2026 • Durée 35:40

Phone calls with your spouse should be simple… so why do they so often go sideways?

In this episode, we unpack the subtle dynamics that quietly derail connection:
• unspoken expectations
• not checking if the other person even has capacity
• unclear intentions (are we connecting or handling logistics?)
• hoping for something deeper… without saying it

...and the hurt that builds when your spouse can’t show up the way you needed—especially in the middle of a workday

What starts as a quick call can quickly spiral into misunderstanding, frustration, or even conflict that leaks into the rest of your day.

The good news? Most of this is preventable.

We walk you through a simple 3-step framework to help you:
• set clear expectations
• honor each other’s capacity
• and actually get what you need out of the conversation

So your phone calls stop feeling like landmines… and start becoming small, consistent moments of connection (or pure logistics exchange) again.

A week left: Click here for more info

Click for info on Habit Lab: Mastery Course

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!Links:

Can you put sex on the calendar?

Saison 3 · Épisode 91

vendredi 3 octobre 2025 • Durée 37:12

Please don't listen with your kids.

Our case for scheduling sex.

When life gets full—kids, work, ministry, and the endless to-do list—intimacy is often the first thing to slip through the cracks. We’re told sex should always be spontaneous, but in real marriages that can leave couples disconnected and frustrated.

In this episode, we talk honestly about scheduling sex—why it isn’t cold or unromantic, but actually a powerful way to prioritize each other. We’ll unpack the myths around spontaneity, share how intentional rhythms can actually increase desire and connection, and give you practical tools for creating space for intimacy without guilt, pressure, or shame.

If you’ve ever felt like the busyness of life is crowding out closeness, this conversation will help you reframe intimacy as something worth planning for—because a thriving marriage doesn’t happen by accident.

A week left: Click here for more info

Click for info on Habit Lab: Mastery Course

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!Links:

Freedom to Choose w/ Aaron & Jenna

Saison 3 · Épisode 4

mardi 27 septembre 2022 • Durée 27:41

In this short but sweet episode, Aaron & Jenna talk about the small moment between stimulus and response (as Steven Covey puts it) when you have the ability to choose. This comes into play especially when we feel defensive in conflict with our spouse. Between feeling defensive and our reaction to it, we have the ability to choose to listen without defending ourselves, regardless of what we feel. This takes time and practice but it essential to creating a marriage in which it is safe to share your heart.

A week left: Click here for more info

Click for info on Habit Lab: Mastery Course

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

From Rescuer/Victim to Powerful/Powerful with Angelo & McKenzie

Saison 3 · Épisode 3

mardi 20 septembre 2022 • Durée 01:24:16

In this episode we interview our friends Angelo & McKenzie who vulnerably share with us the roles they played in their marriage for a number of years in which Angelo was the victim and McKenzie was the Rescuer (synonymous in this episode with "hero"). They share how these roles created some sense of comfort and yet kept them both stuck, Angelo without learning how to be powerful and show up in strength and McKenzie without learning that she had any needs at all.

Though they are both still in the process of growing into the powerful people they were created to be (aren't we all), we get a glimpse into some practical ways to begin to walk out of this dynamic that many of us get stuck in (including Jenna and Aaron).

A week left: Click here for more info

Click for info on Habit Lab: Mastery Course

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course

Questioning Our Normals As Absolute Truth w/ Aaron & Jenna

Saison 3 · Épisode 2

mardi 13 septembre 2022 • Durée 46:22

In this episode we talk about how our personality and culture have shaped our normals and how those normals feel like absolute truths. The problem with viewing our normals as absolute truths is that it's a recipe for judgment and disconnection. We take this time to confess our own normals and how we've had a tendency to see the other's actions as value statements.

We talk about how we've learned to navigate addressing those normals and the pain that tends to be behind it.

At the end of the episode, Jenna talks about her upcoming Habit Lab Mastery Course and Aaron talks about his upcoming book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.

A week left: Click here for more info

Click for info on Habit Lab: Mastery Course

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

Habits of Connection: Debunking All-or-Nothing with Aaron & Jenna

Saison 3 · Épisode 1

mardi 6 septembre 2022 • Durée 50:20

We're back for Season 3! In this episode we talk about the small habits we've implemented to feed into our connection with each other. The smallness of our habits pushes directly against the natural all-or-nothing mentality that we've traditionally approached every area of our lives with.

If you are wanting to grow your connection with your spouse, start small. It can be as simple as 5 minutes of chatting, cuddling, kissing or whatever. So often it feels like unless we can have a 3 hour date night, we can't be connected. The more time together the better, but when we are waiting for the perfect time or the perfect amount of time, we are going to be living in more disconnection than connection. Start small and you will see the power and sustainability of consistency over big sweeping changes.

A week left: Click here for more info

Click for info on Habit Lab: Mastery Course

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course

Season 2 Finale: Keys to Start Healing Your Triggers and Your Marriage w/ Aaron & Jenna

Saison 2 · Épisode 19

mardi 31 mai 2022 • Durée 58:22

We end this season still in the woods on our anniversary backpacking trip. Aaron shares a story about how he realized he wanted Jenna to feel like a failure and why he didn't want that to change. The key to opening the door to healing for them was in each of their willingness to engage Kindness and Curiosity instead of contempt. Jenna shares how she was able to locate her triggers with eating and never being satisfied with her current experience. Her journey into contentment required the same Kindness and Curiosity and led to incredible breakthrough as she declared each day, "I am Enough, They are Enough, He is Enough and Now is Enough."

Thanks for joining us in this second season of Marriage Lab! DM us on Instagram at ZintMarriageLab or JennaZint if you are local to Redding and would like to join us on June 3, 2022 at our house for our season 2 finale party.

A week left: Click here for more info

Click for info on Habit Lab: Mastery Course

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!Links:

Engaging the Scientist Instead of the Judge: how curiosity leads to real change and shame doesn't w/ Aaron & Jenna

Saison 2 · Épisode 18

mardi 24 mai 2022 • Durée 48:23

We're coming to you from up in the woods in this episode! We went backpacking for our anniversary and brought our podcasting equipment with us. It was worth the few extra pounds. We dive into our own journeys with engaging our inner scientist instead of the judge. The job of the judge is to pass judgment. You are either good or bad, right or wrong, guilty or not. The job of the scientist is to get curious, "Interesting, I wonder what's happening or what happened?" Real change cannot happen with shame and self-contempt (which comes from your inner judge). It is a short-lived motivator. Real change happens when we get curious about what led to a specific behavior or event. Why is this true? Because curiosity engages our brain in such a way that we are willing to see things we've never seen before. Judgment (shame and self-contempt) cannot accomplish this. Romans 2:4 says that it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance, i.e. real and lasting change. If we are to be like him then we must engage ourselves with kindness as well. Curiosity invites kindness and vice versa. We want curiosity over contempt.

A week left: Click here for more info

Click for info on Habit Lab: Mastery Course

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!Links:

Comfortable with Discomfort (I can be in pain & be okay) with Dave & Jules Hill

Saison 2 · Épisode 17

mardi 17 mai 2022 • Durée 01:29:46

In this episode we talk with Dave and Jules Hill. They are the creators of HeartSmart (https://www.heartsmart.family/ and https://www.heartsmartv.com/browse) a curriculum for social and emotional learning used in over 500 schools around the world. We felt incredibly grateful for their vulnerability in sharing what Jules calls her unwinding that started about a decade ago. It was a painful season of her recognizing unprocessed pain and trauma and the ups and downs that go along with that. Dave shared how he was able to walk alongside Jules and discover how much growth was available for him in that season as well.

A week left: Click here for more info

Click for info on Habit Lab: Mastery Course

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

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Marriage Lab – Détails, épisodes et analyse

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Marriage Lab – Détails, épisodes et analyse

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Apple Podcasts

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