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#416 Why Your Therapist is Weird: Behind The Scenes

Épisode 416

lundi 26 août 2024 • Durée 47:03

Wondering why your therapist acts a little... strange? What are all those long, awkward silences about? Why won't they follow you on social media? You made DIRECT EYE CONTACT with them at the grocery store but they didn't acknowledge your presence. Why?? In this episode, we’re diving into the surprising truth behind therapist boundaries and why they matter for your personal growth.

In this episode of Love, Happiness, and Success, I’m pulling back the curtain on some of the “weird” things therapists do (like, why won’t they just give you a hug already?!), and why those boundaries are actually super important for your healing journey.

We’ll also break down the difference between therapy and coaching, why therapists never give direct advice, and how these boundaries create a safe, effective space for you to thrive. Plus, I’m sharing insights that will help you build a strong, healthy relationship with your therapist. If you're in therapy, you’ll walk away with some major a-ha moments!

Timestamps:

00:00 - Let’s Get Real: Why Do Therapists Have Such Weird Boundaries?
02:25 - The Surprising Power of Therapist Boundaries
06:43 - Why Your Therapist Won’t Steer the Conversation (Hint: It’s for YOU)
09:10 - Therapist vs. Coach: Which One Do You Really Need?
12:35 - The Ethics Behind the Scenes: How Good Therapists Keep You Safe
24:25 - Why Your Therapist Stays Neutral (Even When It Feels Weird)
31:55 - Session Time Limits & Contact Rules—What’s Up with That?
35:51 - The Secret to a Healthy Therapist-Client Relationship
45:44 - Wrap Up: Final Thoughts and Takeaways

Wanna Learn More?

Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and hit the bell so you never miss an episode on all things therapy, coaching, and personal growth! Let’s keep this conversation going! 💖

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#415 How To Become More CONFIDENT

lundi 19 août 2024 • Durée 47:48

Ready to shake off low self esteem for good, and grow into the confident, competent person you want to be? Good news: Confidence isn't born, it's BUILT, meaning you have more control over how you feel about yourself than you might think.

On today’s podcast you’ll learn the essence of authentic self-worth, and how to grow into the kind of person that exudes confidence (in a good way). As a licensed psychologist, marriage and family therapist, and board-certified coach, I’m sharing why confidence isn’t just a feeling you magically have—it’s something you build through consistent, value-driven actions.

Together, we’ll explore practical ways to develop self-respect, trust your judgment, and foster a deep-rooted belief in your worth. Whether you're looking to overcome self-doubt or grow into the confident person you aspire to be, this episode offers steps you can start taking today.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

00:00 Introduction to Authentic Confidence

01:43 Understanding Authentic Confidence

04:23 Building Confidence Through Actions

06:12 Overcoming Misconceptions About Confidence

07:53 Identifying and Aligning with Your Values

13:26 Personal Story: The Journey to Self-Respect

17:10 Developing a Growth Mindset

34:50 Practical Tips for Exuding Confidence

44:42 Conclusion and Free Resources

Want more guidance? Join me LIVE on Thursday for a Q&A, where I’ll answer your questions about building confidence and self-esteem. Submit your questions in advance through https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa for personalized advice!

Let's Talk About YOU! Thursdays @ 12pm MT

jeudi 20 juin 2024 • Durée 01:54

Have you ever listened to an episode of the Love, Happiness, and Success podcast and thought, "I wish I could talk to Dr. Lisa about this"? Now you can!

When: Every Thursday at 12:00 PM Mountain Time (2:00 PM Eastern Time)
Where: Live on YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook

Each week, after dropping a new podcast episode on Monday, I'll host a live stream on Thursday to discuss that week's topic, answer your questions, and give you personalized advice.

How to Participate:

Live: Tune in on any of my social channels: YouTube, Instagram, Facebook.
Submit Questions in Advance: Visit growingself.com/dear-lisa to ask questions ahead of time and get a reminder before the live stream starts.
Recap: If you can't make it live, sign up through the link to receive a recap video via email.

I love making the Love, Happiness, and Success podcast for you, but live streaming adds a special touch by allowing me to interact with you directly. I can't wait to chat about your life and your unique situation.

Mark Your Calendar: Every Thursday at 12:00 PM Mountain Time (2:00 PM Eastern Time). See you there!

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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#318 - Equality in Relationships

lundi 10 octobre 2022 • Durée 01:06:04

Over the past few decades, we’ve made some huge strides toward building equality in our relationships. It’s no longer rare for a woman to be her family’s primary breadwinner, or to see a dad perusing the produce aisle with a Baby Bjorn strapped to his chest.

Yet, for many couples who arrive in couples counseling or relationship coaching, the division of household labor is still a perennial source of conflict and resentment. Many couples still fall into traditional gender roles when it comes to who’s doing the cleaning, the cooking, and the shopping, even though it’s now the norm for both partners to work full-time.

Furthermore, tasks or roles associated with “women’s work” are often viewed as being less valuable and important than activities associated with traditional male roles. Even relationships between career-focused women and stay-at-home dads can have issues with power imbalances and inequality because we value these types of work differently based on our attitudes about gender.

Relationships that feel imbalanced and unfair are not only bad for the partner who’s doing most of the daily household tasks. They’re bad for the relationship itself, and for both partners inside of it. Becoming truly equal partners is often the path to creating a happier, more connected, and more fulfilling relationship (and, interestingly, a better sex life), and that’s what we’re discussing on today’s episode of the podcast.

My guest is Kate Mangino, a gender expert, speaker, and the author of “Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home.” Kate is sharing wisdom from her extensive social science research, her two decades of work within the international development sector, as well her own life and relationship, to help you find more balance and create a truly equal partnership that feels fair and fulfilling.

I hope you’ll tune in to this important conversation on equality in relationships, which not only applies to heterosexual couples, but to anyone who has some internalized gender scripts to interrogate (in other words, everyone!)

#317 - Dos and Don’ts of Step Parenting

lundi 3 octobre 2022 • Durée 01:18:05

When you become a step-parent, you’re walking into a tricky situation. You may have the warmest feelings for your step-kids and a heartfelt desire to be a positive figure in their lives, and still find yourself thrust into the role of “wicked step-mother” (or step-father), with the pain of their parents’ broken marriage heaped onto your back… while your partner stands by helplessly.

As a longtime marriage counselor, I know blended family problems like these are common, and incredibly challenging to overcome. It’s one of the reasons I advise couples to seek blended family counseling as a preventative measure, before problems arise. I also advise taking a very thoughtful approach to blending your families, and examining your expectations for what the role of step-parent will look and feel like.

Listen to “the dos and don’ts of step-parenting” to get real-deal advice on how to avoid the most common step parenting mistakes, and learn an approach to step-parenting that helps you release unhelpful expectations so you can create a happy, harmonious blended family.

With love,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

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#316 - The Apology Languages

lundi 26 septembre 2022 • Durée 43:52

What is your apology language? And, more importantly… what’s your partner’s?

As an experienced marriage counselor and couples therapist, I know that apologizing is an essential skill for healthy relationships.

But not all apologies are created equal. Just as partners must learn to speak each other’s love languages to help each other feel cared for, they must also learn to apologize in ways that feel meaningful to their partner and pave the way to genuine forgiveness.

Tune in to learn all about apology languages, the anatomy of a good apology, and how you can repair “relationship injuries” and get things back on track with the people you love the most.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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#315 - Military Relationships

lundi 19 septembre 2022 • Durée 59:23

On today’s episode of the podcast, we’re covering a topic that doesn’t get nearly the attention it deserves: the unique challenges of maintaining a relationship when you or your partner are members of the military, and how you can keep your military relationship healthy and strong.

If you or your partner (or both of you!) are service members, you know that the military can feel like a mistress, always meddling on the edges of your relationship… and sometimes high-jacking it completely. No matter how in love with each other you are, or how committed to your partnership you feel, it’s hard to be moved from place to place because of distant orders that you had little or no say in. It’s hard to have a career that takes you away from your partner and your children for extended periods of time. It’s hard to take care of everything on the home front by yourself, especially if you’re stationed far away from family and friends.

And it can be especially hard to find a marriage counselor or a long-distance relationship counselor who understands these unique challenges, and how to help military couples overcome them. Luckily, we have just such an expert joining us on this episode of the podcast. Jesse S., M.S, LMFT, is a marriage counselor and relationship coach here at Growing Self. He’s also a member of the military with over two decades of service, currently serving in the Connecticut National Guard as a First Sergeant in the 141st Ground Ambulance Unit. In addition to treating bodily wounds, he’s passionate about helping other service members heal and grow as individuals, and within their relationships. Today, he’s sharing his insight and guidance with you. I hope you’ll join us!

With love,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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#313 - What Makes a Good Life Partner?

lundi 5 septembre 2022 • Durée 54:39

When you’re crushing on somebody, you’re not dreaming about how supportive they’d be if your mother was in the hospital, or how adept they’ll be at receiving your feedback in the midst of a furious argument. No — you’re much too focused on how cute their eyes look when they smile, or how nice they smell.

That’s because we’re attracted to people based on their physical appearance, and their personalities (insofar as we can know someone’s personality within a few months of dating).

This isn’t because we’re all shallow jerks — it’s just that we’re biologically primed to hone in on the qualities that make for an excellent short-term mate (short-term as in, long enough to make a baby and keep it alive until it can walk), rather than the deep personal qualities that actually make for a good life partner.

Whether you’re dating or in a relationship, it’s to your benefit to learn about these deeper qualities, so that you can recognize them in others and cultivate them in yourself. If you can focus on character over chemistry in your relationships, you can create a partnership that’s healthy, strong, and truly built to last.

On this episode of the podcast, I’m going to tell you how. Using insight I’ve gained through working with countless couples over the years in marriage counseling and relationship coaching, I’m going to tell you what actually makes a good life partner — and how you can develop your own “good partner” skills to create better relationships.

With Love,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

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#312 - Couples Communication For Stressful Times

lundi 29 août 2022 • Durée 52:38

It’s no secret that good communication is the key ingredient to a healthy relationship. But, as we all know, couples communication can be challenging — especially when you're under stress.

When you and your partner are under stress, communication gets hard. It’s so easy to forget everything you know about active listening and “I-statements” when you’re feeling emotionally elevated, and to slip into a communication style that’s heavy on criticism, blame, and defensiveness. This tendency is totally human — but it’s also a bad habit that we all must overcome for our relationships to truly thrive.

On this episode of the podcast, we’re discussing couples communication strategies that will not only help you manage feelings of stress without damaging your relationship, but that will tap into the power of your deep love and support for each other so you can get through stressful times while strengthening your connection.

My guest is Silas H., M.S., MFTC, a couples counselor and relationship coach on our team at Growing Self. Silas has helped many couples improve their communication patterns and overcome adversity as a team, and he’s sharing his original and highly actionable advice with you today.

All of this and more is here for you. I hope you’ll join us!

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie bobby

GrowingSelf.com

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#311 - Six Signs Your Relationship is In Trouble

lundi 22 août 2022 • Durée 55:13

All couples have differences, and having “spirited conversations” (aka, “conflict”) as you work towards resolving them is a normal part of every healthy relationship.

That said, there are certain types of relationship conflict and emotional experiences that you should never minimize, or underestimate the importance of.

These are the warning signs your relationship may be in real trouble, and when those are happening it's vital to deal with them. Understanding what they are can help you take positive action to repair your relationship so that you can heal your bond.

Learn about the six signs your relationship is in trouble, and what to do if they’re present, on this episode of the podcast.

Your partner in growth,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

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