Life Coaching with Christine Hassler – Détails, épisodes et analyse

In this episode of Over It and On With It, Christine Hassler coaches Katie, who is struggling with her husband's undiagnosed ADHD and its impact on their relationship. Christine helps Katie reflect on how her husband's behaviors trigger old wounds from her childhood and offers insights into how couples can navigate challenges when their brains and emotional needs function differently. The episode dives deep into relationship dynamics, particularly how unresolved past wounds can surface in present-day partnerships.

Christine encourages listeners to think about their own relationships, especially when they are generally good but contain aspects that are frustrating or triggering. She stresses the importance of taking responsibility for one's own emotional reactions rather than expecting the partner to change or fix things. Additionally, Christine highlights how acceptance of a partner's limitations and clear communication about non-negotiables can strengthen a relationship.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you in a relationship that's generally good but with aspects that bug or trigger you?
• Do you tend to focus on evidence that your partner isn't meeting your expectations?
• How do you handle your emotional reactions when your partner frustrates you?
• What would change in your relationship if you fully accepted your partner for who they are?

Key Insights & AHA's:

• Katie's frustrations with her husband's forgetfulness are linked to her childhood wounds of abandonment and not feeling important.
• Christine helps Katie see that her husband's behavior, including conflict avoidance, may be a result of his trauma, and encourages Katie to approach the situation with more acceptance.
• By focusing on what Katie can control—her own emotional responses—rather than trying to change her husband, she can create more peace within herself.
• Clear communication about non-negotiables, such as her husband seeking treatment, can help Katie and her husband move forward.

Show Sponsor: This week's episode is sponsored by AquaTru. 

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Social Media + Resources:

• Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
• Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
• Christine on Facebook
• Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler
• @ChristineHassler on Twitter
• @ChristineHassler on Instagram
• @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
• Email: jill@christinehassler.com — For information on any of my services!
• Get on the waitlist to be coached on the show!
• Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches!

In this episode of Over It and On With It, Christine Hassler delivers a heartfelt reminder about the importance of self-care, rest, and prioritizing our well-being over external obligations and people-pleasing tendencies. Christine shares her own recent experiences as a busy mom and life coach, explaining how taking time for herself—even when it meant canceling podcast recordings—has been a powerful practice in maintaining integrity with her own needs.

Christine encourages listeners to reflect on the ways they may be abandoning themselves by prioritizing the expectations of others over their own health and happiness. She highlights the significance of slowing down, saying "no" when necessary, and learning to trust that others will understand when we make self-honoring choices.

This episode serves as a powerful message for anyone feeling overwhelmed by life's obligations, reminding us that true healing and clarity can only come when we give ourselves permission to rest and recharge.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you abandoning your own needs to meet others' expectations?
• What is it costing you to keep pushing yourself without rest?
• Can you give yourself permission to slow down, even if it means disappointing others?
• How can you incorporate moments of self-care, even in a busy schedule?

Key Insights & AHA's:

• Christine reflects on how she has shifted from people-pleasing and feeling obligated to meet commitments at the cost of her well-being.
• The importance of slowing down, not just for physical rest, but for nervous system regulation and emotional healing.
• She reminds us that healing happens at the pace of the slowest part of us that feels safe, and rushing through life can prevent true restoration.
• Self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity for maintaining alignment and integrity with oneself.

Social Media + Resources:

• Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
• Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
• Christine on Facebook
• Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler
• @ChristineHassler on Twitter
• @ChristineHassler on Instagram
• @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
• Email: jill@christinehassler.com — For information on any of my services!
• Get on the waitlist to be coached on the show!
• Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches!

In this episode of "Over It and On With It," Christine Hassler coaches Sarah, who struggles with the complexities of a relationship that appears both deeply meaningful and deeply troubling. Sarah's situation involves a partner who alternates between emotional closeness and sudden, unexplained withdrawal, triggering Sarah's abandonment fears.

Christine helps Sarah recognize the unhealthy patterns and offers guidance on finding the strength to set necessary boundaries. Christine's compassionate yet direct approach aims to support listeners who may find themselves rationalizing toxic behaviors in their relationships due to unresolved childhood wounds.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you find yourself attracted to relationships that cause you significant stress and anxiety?
• Are you making excuses for someone's unhealthy behavior because of their past trauma or because they express emotions sincerely?
• Did you grow up in a household where you felt neglected or unloved, leading you to accept less than you deserve in relationships?
• Do you struggle with setting firm boundaries and often talk yourself into staying in relationships that don't serve you?
• Are you ready to take bold actions to change unhealthy patterns in your relationships?

The Guest's Key Insights & A-HA's:

• Sarah's intense connection with her partner is rooted in unresolved childhood abandonment issues, making her more tolerant of behaviors like ghosting and emotional withdrawal.
• Despite the partner's ability to articulate emotions, his repeated blocking and disappearing acts are red flags that cannot be overlooked.
• Christine highlights the importance of evaluating how someone handles stress and whether they take responsibility for their triggers and actions.
• The episode underscores the necessity of setting clear boundaries and recognizing when a relationship is unhealthy, regardless of the depth of emotional connection.

How to Get Over It & On With It:

• Acknowledge and address the old childhood wounds influencing your tolerance for unhealthy behaviors in relationships.
• Practice emotional and physical grounding techniques to reconnect with your sense of self-worth and power.
• Seek out trauma-informed therapy or coaching to work through past wounds in a supportive and healthy environment.
• Establish firm boundaries and recognize that justifying toxic behaviors is a coping strategy rooted in past trauma.
• Affirm your worthiness of love and respect, and take bold actions to protect your emotional well-being.

Upcoming Events:

• Christine Hassler's upcoming retreat at the end of September 2024. Early bird pricing is available until the end of August. Register at christinehassler.com/retreat.

Social Media + Resources:

• Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
• Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
• Christine on Facebook
• Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler
• @ChristineHassler on Twitter
• @ChristineHassler on Instagram
• @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
• Email: jill@christinehassler.com — For information on any of my services!
• Get on the waitlist to be coached on the show!
• Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches!

Ryan Mayer, certified ADDCA and ICF coach, is on a mission to empower others with ADHD toward their greatness. He has coached clients from 19 different countries and has nearly half a million followers on social media.

His Performance and Mindset Coaching helps others navigate through the storms in their lives caused by ADHD, making measurable progress on their most important goals.

Having ADHD himself, Ryan calls on personal experience to equip his clients - who may feel like they are constantly falling short at work and at home - with the strategies to step into the happier life that they deserve.

Ryan is happily married to his (amazing neurotypical) wife Andrea. They have three adorable children and live in Cleveland, OH (USA).

To get Ryan's 10 day course that is all text message based for 30% off go to https://market.authoritive.com/workthatworksforyouradhdand use "OnWithIt30" at checkout

The essence of this coaching call is about our protective patterns manifesting as nervous habits. Today's caller, Jessica, picks her skin. She would like guidance about understanding her nervous habit and how to stop it. Christine sheds some light on why these kinds of habits exist and why wanting to get rid of them or making them wrong is exactly what not to do.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode417].

The origin of our nervous habits is a tender, scared, powerless part of us. When pain is inflicted upon us, either emotional, physical, sexual, or mental pain, and everything feels out of control, our ability to cause ourselves pain and being the one controlling the pain gives us a sense of power.

When we are in overwhelm of any kind, we can use our nervous habit as a soothing strategy. It sort of shuts down everything else and brings our focus to the habit so we don't have to feel other things. We use it as a sense of control, as well as a soothing strategy. It is a useful strategy our subconscious creates to help us manage our pain.

Remember, our inner protector is protecting a very scared child who felt powerless and had pain inflicted on them. When we feel the urge to apply our protective strategies, AKA act out our nervous habits, the last thing we want to do is try to force them to go away because they will just try to do their job even stronger. We need to make a conscious effort to be aware of our habits and not judge or shame ourselves for them.

My upcoming Signature Retreat is almost upon us. To get a unique sneak peek of what to expect during the retreat, I am having a Grad Panel on September 6th. To attend or for a recording of the panel go to Christine.Hassler.com/panel or assist@christinehassler.com. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. And, to apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship. The course is almost full.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you have any nervous habits like skin-picking, nail-biting, pulling apart split ends, etc.?

• Did you have pain inflicted upon you as a child and you felt you had no control?

• Do you notice nervous habits emerge even in situations where you should feel safe?

• Do you try to stop a habit by shaming yourself or making it wrong and you aren't getting anywhere?

Jessica's Question:

Jessica asks for guidance on how to break her nervous habit of skin-picking.

Jessica's Key Insights and Ahas:

• Her skin picking interferes with her being fully present.

• She feels anxious when she picks her skin.

• She is a high achiever.

• She finds it difficult to break her habit.

• Her habit soothes her.

• Pain was inflicted upon her which left her feeling powerless.

• She is in the early stages of pregnancy.

• She wished she had an emotionally present, nurturing mother.

• Her grandfather caused her distress as a child.

• She feels she has to put everyone else first.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Let go of the shame and judgment she has about her nervous habit.

• Have compassion for herself.

• Sign up for the Inner Child Workshop.

• Get herself into the present moment as much as possible.

• If she has the urge to pick, go ahead and pick but do it consciously.

• Take care not to go into the martyr-mother role.

Takeaways:

• If you have a nervous habit let go of your shame and judgment around it.

• Be patient and gentle with yourself and nourish your inner child.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you want a simple, effective way to increase the quality of your life don't miss this episode. I've upgraded my 40 day stop-start-modify plan to support you in implementing new habits to create more calm, health, joy and prosperity in your life.

The essence of this coaching call is what causes inspirational blocks and the unhealthy ways we try to motivate ourselves. Today's caller, Jo, is asking for guidance about how to tap into her inspiration. The pandemic impacted her nervous system and left her lacking the motivation to live into her purpose.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode416].

Often, what inspires us is the stuff that makes us mad. It doesn't mean we need to come out with anger at people. We need to move through the anger to find the fire and the passion that lies underneath. Then, we can step into the feminine power of discernment and discover our Warrior Woman. Which is a beautiful place to be. When we do this we allow ourselves to be pulled forward by a calling and a mission, versus looking for something external to motivate us.

Women, in general, are not great with our anger. It leaks out in certain ways but we are not great at tapping into our rage and anger and letting it out in a healthy way. This blocks us from our passion. And if we keep suppressing our emotions, rage, and anger we will feel depressed.

Plus, we tend to motivate ourselves by being hard on ourselves and looking at what we think is wrong and the changes we need to make. We believe if we make ourselves miserable enough then maybe we will be motivated to make a change. That is a strategy that doesn't work or only works for the short term. It allows our inner critic to run the show and we burn ourselves out.

When we realize we are not doing anything wrong and that we are living our purpose because we are learning, growing, healing, and raising our consciousness, it releases the feeling of failure.

If you resonate with this podcast and Christine's style of coaching, Elementum Coaching Institute is the coaching certification program for you. Even if you are not a coach, and want a personal transformation program to give you coaching skills you can use with your employees or peers, in relationships, or with children, you are encouraged to apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com. Enrollment closes September 1, 2023, and the course begins September 14th. This is the final course for 2023‒2024.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you feeling a lack of inspiration?

• Do you feel you had a setback during the pandemic and you haven't been able to come back from it?

• Do you want to feel like you're making an impact, that you matter, and what you're doing in the world matters?

• Are you someone who benefits from connection with other people? Are you an extrovert who isn't connecting with people enough?

Jo's Question:

Jo is asking about how to find inspiration and motivation for herself and her business in the here and now.

Jo's Key Insights and Ahas:

• She gave up her teaching job to write a novel and build a coaching business.

• She moved in with her parents.

• The pandemic impacted her nervous system.

• She has difficulty spending a lot of time by herself.

• She wants to do something meaningful.

• She gets overwhelmed with business tasks.

• She is trying to motivate herself by being hard on herself.

• She wants to be inspired by life.

• She has finished her novel.

• She signed a lease on an office.

• She is an extrovert.

• She lived with depression for a long time.

• She longs for freedom, transparency, and truth.

• She sees her anger as a negative.

• She started her business after she found self-compassion.

• She is joining Elementum Coaching.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• When she feels trapped in the moment, consider what choices are available to her.

• Put herself out there to get connection and support.

• Tap into the fire beneath her anger and be motivated by her deep desire.

• Start using her voice again.

• Join the upcoming Signature Retreat, read Expectation Hangover, or visit ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease.

Takeaways:

• Consider — Is there a part of you that wants to be free and believes that if you do what you want bad things will happen?

• Get to know your anger, feel it, and understand it.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Elisha Tichelle is an alchemist of the nervous system for visionary leaders and heart-centered entrepreneurs. Following a 20-year career as a somatic researcher and professor, Elisha now supports her clients to expand their nervous systems so their work can make a greater impact in the world - without burning out. Elisha's facilitation guides an expansion of nervous system regulation, moving people out of operating from positions of stress and overwhelm into embodied states of flow, connection, and mastery. Elisha is the 'behind the scenes' priestess to some of the world's most successful and well-known coaches. Through her training program 'Evolution,' she guides space holders, facilitators, and coaches into integrating nervous system work in their business and life.

This coaching call is about the difference between masculine energy and hypervigilance. Today's caller, Jo, has been caring for her husband after a debilitating accident. She believes she is functioning only in her masculine energy and would like some balance, but her actions may be coming from a response to trauma she hasn't fully processed. Christine offers guidance.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode415].

There is an unconscious, and sometimes conscious, expectation that masculine energy is supposed to be strong and be able to hold us. But, what masculine energy truly is, is taking initiative, moving in a linear way, being present, and holding for things. It is making quick decisions about things and being productive in certain ways.

Healthy masculine energy is NOT about being so busy and doing everything for everyone that we are depleted completely — That's being hyper-vigilant. Hypervigilance is a response to trauma that makes us feel out of control. Because no one chooses trauma. It is completely out of our control. When we are hypervigilant, we are looking for a way to feel in control again. We think if we do and control everything, we can prevent expectation hangovers or more trauma.

If you're trying to shift more into your feminine energy when you're in hypervigilance, good luck because in order for you to shift into your feminine energy, you have to feel safe and if you are in hypervigilance, you do not feel safe.

My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Has there been a drastic change in your life you haven't had time to process because you have had to go right into action?

• Do you often think you're in your masculine when you are truly in hypervigilance?

• Are you someone that is so used to doing, you often don't even know how to be?

• When it comes to surrender and accepting things, how are you with it? Can you let go or do you like to fight with reality?

Jo's Question:

Jo is asking for guidance on how to prolong being in her feminine energy and relinquish her feelings of needing to be in control.

Jo's Key Insights and Ahas:

• Her husband was in a debilitating accident.

• She feels she shifted into her masculine after her husband's accident.

• She likes being in her feminine but feels pulled out of it too often.

• She wants to relieve her husband's pain.

• She does inner child work and meditation.

• She has a tendency to be a people pleaser.

• She has been a control freak in the past but wants to let go of it.

• She hasn't done trauma-release work.

• Her father was strict and unpredictable.

• She does everything for others.

• She questions her self-worth.

• She wants to cure her husband's pain.

• Her husband has accepted his physical condition.

• She is grieving and hasn't fully processed the incident.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Realize she is being hypervigilant, not in her masculine.

• Find a somatic and trauma-release-work therapist.

• Have compassion for herself.

• Release her anger and trauma.

• Recalibrate her nervous system.

• Have conversations with her husband about creating polarity in their relationship.

• Accept where her husband is in his healing process.

Takeaways:

• Are you in your masculine energy or being hypervigilant?

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

In your personal development journey, you may be asking "what's the point?" You are doing all this "work" and you are not seeing the changes in your life that you desire. In this CC I answer this question and give you reassurance to keep going.