In this episode, Dr. Royster talks with Dillan Koch, a Michigan-based mental health professional in private practice, about supporting teenagers and their families. They explore why teen behavior is often part of a larger family dynamic—and how that becomes especially important during divorce, family conflict, and major life transitions.Together, they discuss teen privacy in therapy, parental involvement, independence, and how to distinguish healthy challenges from genuine safety concerns. Dillan shares a family systems perspective on helping teens and parents build communication and resilience, with the goal of supporting families—not keeping clients in therapy indefinitely.
Key topics- Dillan’s work with teenagers and families in her Michigan private practice
- How parent-only intake sessions can help therapists understand family concerns
- Setting clear confidentiality boundaries and maintaining trust with teens
- Why a teenager’s struggles may reflect pressures across the whole family system
- How adolescence can bring change and stress for parents as well as teens
- The balance between emotional safety, appropriate challenges, and building resilience
- How overparenting can unintentionally make it harder for kids to develop independence
- Approaching phone use, school responsibilities, and alcohol through early, ongoing conversations
- Parentification and the risk of teens becoming a parent’s confidant during divorce
- Keeping children out of adult relationship conflicts and co-parenting disputes
- Responding to school or visitation resistance with curiosity rather than assumptions
- Supporting teens through separation, grief, and changing family relationships
00:00 — Introducing Dillan Koch and the Midwest connection
01:17 — Dillan’s private practice and family systems approach
02:17 — Working with teens and their families
05:04 — Setting confidentiality expectations with parents
06:17 — Protecting trust when parents want information
08:40 — Why teens can’t be treated as the only source of family problems
10:48 — Teen development, family stress, and changing roles
14:53 — Are teens changing, or are parenting dynamics changing?
16:17 — Overparenting, helplessness, and resilience
17:13 — The balance between safety and friction
18:38 — Grades, assignments, and helping teens build responsibility
23:23 — Phones, alcohol, and setting boundaries before a crisis
27:45 — Divorce, parentification, and teens becoming confidants
31:43 — Why adult relationship conflict is hard for teens to understand
33:30 — Family roles, perfectionism, and the quieter child
36:32 — Validating teens’ experiences during divorce or separation
38:54 — Understanding teen autonomy and resistance
41:27 — When teens recognize unhealthy or unsafe family dynamics
43:36 — Staying grounded amid co-parenting conflict
45:20 — Communicating with a child’s future perspective in mind
48:04 — Grief through divorce, adolescence, and young adulthood
49:07 — Dillan’s podcast, Instagram, and community work
Connect with Dillan for therapeutic & coaching services here.
Follow Dillan on Instagram
Listen to The Check in with Dillan
I am a psychologist, but I am not your psychologist. This is education and support, not therapy or legal advice. For anything about your actual family, talk with your own provider.
