Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People
| Titre | Date | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Transforming High Conflict Co-Parenting: Raising Thriving Teens with Kevin Chafin | 22 Aug 2024 | 00:51:58 | |
In this insightful episode of "It's All Your Fault", Megan is joined by special guest Kevin Chafin, a licensed professional counselor from Kansas City, Missouri. With Bill away for the month, Megan and Kevin dive deep into the complexities of co-parenting, particularly when it comes to dealing with teenagers in high conflict situations. Together, they explore effective strategies for managing these challenging dynamics and provide valuable insights for parents navigating these difficult waters. Understanding the Impact of Divorce on Teens Avoiding the Pitfalls of Parentification Strategies for Effective Co-Parenting Communication Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This episode offers a wealth of knowledge and practical strategies for parents navigating the challenges of co-parenting and raising teens in high conflict situations. With their combined expertise, Megan and Kevin provide a compassionate and informative perspective on these complex issues, offering hope and guidance for families struggling to find their way forward. Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Co-Parenting by Design with Lawyers Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner | 15 Aug 2024 | 00:47:47 | |
Navigating the Challenges of Co-Parenting: Insights from Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner In this episode of "It's All Your Fault," Megan is joined by two special guests, Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner, co-authors of the upcoming book Co-Parenting by Design: The Definitive Guide for Divorced or Separated Parents. Annette and Nicole, both experienced family law attorneys and parenting coordinators, share their insights on navigating the complexities of co-parenting and offer practical advice for parents facing high conflict situations. Understanding the Role of Parenting Coordinators Megan, Annette, and Nicole delve into the crucial role of parenting coordinators in helping divorced or separated parents resolve disputes and maintain focus on their children's best interests. They discuss how parenting coordinators act as referees, mediators, and educators, assisting parents in making decisions on issues such as parenting schedules, school choice, and healthcare. Adapting to Change and Prioritizing Children's Needs The guests emphasize the importance of adaptability in co-parenting, as children's needs and circumstances evolve over time. They highlight the challenges parents face when adjusting to new situations, such as remarriage, relocation, and changes in parenting time. Annette and Nicole stress the significance of prioritizing children's well-being and maintaining consistency in parenting approaches whenever possible. Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This episode offers invaluable insights and practical advice for divorced or separated parents facing the challenges of co-parenting. By learning from the expertise of Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner, listeners can gain a deeper understanding of how to prioritize their children's well-being, adapt to change, and navigate high conflict situations. Co-Parenting by Design promises to be an essential resource for parents, lawyers, and judges alike, providing guidance and strategies for creating a healthier co-parenting dynamic. Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| World of Bullies #2: Unmasking Bullies in the Workplace and Mediation with Michael Lomax | 13 Jun 2024 | 00:41:04 | |
Confronting Bullies in the Workplace and Mediation with Bill Eddy and Michael Lomax In the second episode of the World of Bullies series, Bill and Megan welcome Michael Lomax to explore bullying in the workplace and mediation. As co-founders of the High Conflict Institute and an esteemed speaker, respectively, they share their expertise on handling high conflict personalities in professional settings. Bill and Michael emphasize the importance of managers thoroughly investigating bullying allegations and understanding the key characteristics of bullies, such as a lack of self-restraint, empathy, and remorse. They also discuss how bullies use emotional tactics to manipulate their targets and recruit negative advocates. Michael shares his experience meeting with alleged bullies who often present themselves as victims. Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This episode provides valuable insights and strategies for navigating bullying in the workplace and mediation, equipping listeners with the tools needed to create a healthier work environment. Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| High Conflict in Education: Chaos, Attrition, and Fear with Guest Sandra Just | 09 Jun 2022 | 00:36:35 | |
Throughout the pandemic, which we’ve now been in for a little over two years, the fight has been “on” in the education world. Education – especially public education – has always been at the crossroads of many social and cultural changes, from bussing students across town, to benchmark academic standards for school funding, to which books are approved for teaching classes. Then with Covid, the conflict flame grew even brighter as parents, schools, unions, and more fought over – and continue to fight – over masks, vaccinations, virtual classes, school shutdowns, gender issues, parent rights, Zoom classes, and more. Conflict abounds. Bill and Megan speak with Sandra Just, MEd, founder of Just Look Within Coaching and Consulting. Sandra is an educator with 30+ years’ experience in public education as a teacher, administrator, and HR director. She discusses the current state of education, given the many issues that everyone involved in the system are faced with, including:
Listen in as Bill and Megan talk with Sandra about school. As Sandra says, “We’re great at helping kids, but maybe we’re not so great at helping the adults in education.” About Sandra Just Sandra Just is the Founder and Principal of Just Look Within Coaching and Consulting. Sandra spent 31 years as an educator in the Denver Public Schools. During her time in DPS, she served as a teacher, counselor, performance management advisor, school leader, and interim regional assistant superintendent. She is known for developing her staff into leaders, supporting students to meet their goals, and creating a strong school culture. Sandra currently serves as a mentor for students in the para to teacher pipeline at the University of Northern Colorado Center for Urban Education. She also consults with School Works, as needed. Sandra earned her certificate as an Executive Coach in 2021 and is currently working toward Board Certification. Sandra enjoys spending time with family and friends. She volunteers with the Rocky Mountain Down Syndrome Association. Links & Other Notes GUEST LINKS BOOKS & AUDIO
CONFLICT INFLUENCER CERTIFICATION COURSE ARTICLES Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| New Ways for Families | 02 Jun 2022 | 00:37:22 | |
Parents divorcing in protracted battles. Crowded family court dockets. Kids who spend their childhood with nervous stomachs, anxiety, and a yearning for their parents to just get along. A typical high-conflict divorce and co-parenting situation. Most parents are able to work things out amicably but around 15-20% comprise the cases on the family court dockets. They are seemingly unable to resolve disputes and bring disputes to the court that others can work out themselves. What makes them different? And what works for them? Bill Eddy interviews Susie Rayner, GradDip FDRP, who is the New Ways Program Manager for the High Conflict Institute. Susie is visiting the U.S. for the Association of Family & Conciliation Courts conference from her homeland, Australia. Bill and Susie dive into the program that Bill created back in 2009 to help high conflict divorcing or separated parents—New Ways for Families®. It’s different from other co-parenting and divorce education courses because it focuses on teaching skills to handle conflict instead of lecturing about the do’s and don’ts of co-parenting. Listen in as Bill and Susie discuss New Ways for Families and how it helps parents get along and save lots of time, frustration and money; and how it helps the courts reduce their caseloads as the parents learn to make decisions without court. Links & Other Notes THE NEW WAYS FOR FAMILIES PROGRAM BOOKS ARTICLES
GUEST BIO Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| A High Conflict Divorce with a (rare) Successful Outcome | 26 May 2022 | 00:40:01 | |
High conflict divorce is one the hardest trials one can go through. It’s so hard on parents and on their children. If you’ve ever wanted to know what it looks like from the inside, from someone who has been through it and come out the other side with good outcomes, listen to this episode featuring Bill and Megan’s guest, Shannon Jenkins from the podcast Starting Over with Shannon. After hearing a bit of Shannon’s story, Bill and Megan will talk with her about:
Links & Other Notes BOOKS ARTICLES
Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Johnny Depp & Amber Heard: Are Domestic Violence Allegations True or False? | 19 May 2022 | 00:33:14 | |
The legal case between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp has been heard around the world. It’s a case rife with allegations of domestic violence on both sides, which will be challenging for the jury to make a decision. In this episode Bill and Megan discuss the case and why it is important to focus on the big picture rather than being persuaded by a single picture or an isolated story. They will discuss:
Links & Other Notes WEBSITES COURSE BOOKS ARTICLES
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Bullies at Work with Catherine Mattice | 12 May 2022 | 00:44:25 | |
Workplace conflict is on the increase. According to a 2021 survey, 89% of employees from a diverse range of industries reported experiencing conflict at work, consuming 3.5 hours/week on average. Finding employees is challenging, making a calm workplace imperative if competitive advantage is to be gained. When incivility and bullies or other high conflict people are in the workplace, the impact goes deep. In this episode Bill and Megan talk with guest Catherine Mattice, founder of Civility Partners, and author of Back Off! Your Kick-Ass Guide to End Bullying at Work. They will discuss:
Catherine has a wealth of experience specifically in bullying, including the latest research. Links & Other Notes WEBSITES BOOKS
ARTICLES Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Q&A Lab - Answering Listener Questions | 05 May 2022 | 00:34:37 | |
It’s time for the Q&A Lab again! In this episode, Bill and Megan answer listener questions on several topics, including:
Listen as we break it down and answer these questions that truly have a significant impact on lives. Links & Other Notes BOOKS It’s All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything ARTICLES The CARS Method® for Resolving High Conflict Situations You Can Strengthen Any Relationship With Empathy, Attention, and Respect WEBSITE Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Part 2: Borderline Personality Disorder for Family Members | 28 Apr 2022 | 00:30:18 | |
Family members (and friends) of someone who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder (or BPD) are typically mystified about how to interact with them, walk on eggshells around them, and generally feel overwhelmed and defeated because they don’t know what to do. In this episode, Bill and Megan continue their discussion with BPD expert Amanda Smith, LCSW, founder of HopeforBPD.com. Amanda is a highly skilled BPD and Dialectical Behavior Therapy expert, having helped countless clients through their recovery. She’s helped family members learn the necessary skills for helping their loved one best while also taking care of themselves. Amanda also provides treatment consultation. She is the author of two books:
In this episode – part 2 of 2 – Amanda gives hope and help to family members and friends of those with BPD. She discusses what to do and what to avoid. She will explain whether BPD is a hopeless situation with no resolution or whether something can be done to intervene – including whether an “intervention” can work. Links & Other Notes
Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Part 1: Borderline Personality Disorder for Those Who Suffer | 21 Apr 2022 | 00:37:10 | |
People throw around the term Borderline Personality Disorder (or BPD), but most likely don’t even know what it is, and many have no idea how to handle it, whether within themselves or with a family member. Relationships and interactions are somewhat of a mystery to those around them, and even to themselves. People with BPD often feel like the black sheep of the family, but once you have an understanding of what may be happening and use a set of skills that are typically quite opposite. In this episode, Bill and Megan talk with BPD expert Amanda Smith, LCSW, founder of HopeforBPD.com. Amanda is a highly skilled BPD and Dialectical Behavior Therapy expert, having helped countless clients through their recovery. She’s helped family members learn the necessary skills for helping their loved one best while also taking care of themselves. Amanda also provides treatment consultation. She is the author of two books:
In this episode – part 1 of 2 – Amanda discusses the basics of BPD and how to get help. In next week’s episode – part 2 – she will focus on what families can do to help. Links & Other Notes
Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Will Smith: High Conflict or Just Upset? | 14 Apr 2022 | 00:32:29 | |
The slap heard around the world. Obviously this was a high conflict situation, but was it a one-off incident resulting from a highly stressed person, aka Will Smith? Or two highly stressed people, Smith and comedian Chris Rock? Or did either of them show signs of a potential high conflict personality? In this episode, Bill and Megan break it down.
This is a behind-the scenes exploration into what could have been happening with Will Smith in this situation. We don’t diagnose. We don’t blame and shame. We just explore and focus on what to do next. Links & Other Notes BOOKS ARTICLES Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| When a High Conflict Decision-Maker Uses BIFF & EAR on You | 07 Apr 2022 | 00:31:53 | |
Continuing from the previous episode, Bill and Megan take a listener question about a high conflict situation in the workplace. Specifically, what do you do when actual high conflict people in management turn the “Bill Eddy” skills around and use them with others who are not high conflict. Megan and Bill explain how their new Conflict Influencer™ Certification program can help in situations like this. Links & Other Notes CONFLICT INFLUENCER™ CERTIFICATION COURSE BOOKS ARTICLES Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| World of Bullies #1: Navigating the New World of Adult Bullying | 06 Jun 2024 | 00:45:06 | |
World of Bullies: Bill Eddy's Groundbreaking New Book In this first episode of our new "World of Bullies" series, based on Bill Eddy's new book, Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them, How to Stop Them, Bill and Megan dive into the timely topic of adult bullying. As co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, they provide invaluable insights for listeners. Bill shares that his inspiration for the book came during the COVID-19 pandemic when he noticed an increase in bullying behavior across society. He emphasizes the importance of understanding bullies and the need for structure, limits, and consequences to curb their destructive behavior. Megan highlights that while society has generally evolved to be more cooperative, high emotion media has influenced people's thinking and behavior, leading to a concerning shift in culture. Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This episode sets the stage for the "World of Bullies" series, providing listeners with a comprehensive understanding of adult bullying and equipping them with practical tools to navigate challenging situations. Bill and Megan's expertise makes this a must-listen for anyone seeking to create a more harmonious environment in their lives. Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| High Conflict Certification for the Workplace | 31 Mar 2022 | 00:27:40 | |
High conflict situations in the workplace are increasing as workers return to the office. Global anxiety is higher than normal, and for those who may have a high conflict personality, the conflict may become even more unrestrained. In this episode, Megan and Bill introduce a new initiative undertaken by the High Conflict Institute to help organizations and companies deal with high conflict situations, high conflict employees/stakeholders/boards, or just about anyone. They discuss the need for advanced high conflict training and why it’s beneficial for entire organizations to learn the necessary skills to unite and and reduce conflict. They discuss this new initiative, the Conflict Influencer™ Certification program in detail, in this and the next episode. Links & Other Notes CONFLICT INFLUENCER™ CERTIFICATION COURSE BOOKS ARTICLES Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Finally Figuring It Out: Learning From a Late-in-Life Bi-Polar Diagnosis with Dr. Jay Lieberman | 24 Mar 2022 | 00:45:57 | |
A diagnosis of bi-polar disorder can be both devastating and liberating. Although such a diagnosis is unsettling because of the lifetime implications, it can also be a relief to have an answer and hope for a calmer future. In this episode, Bill and Megan are joined by Dr. Jay Lieberman, a retired surgeon in the podiatry field who was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder later in life than most — at age 60. As one might expect, his professional and personal life took some major hits after some harrowing events that wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t been suffering with an undiagnosed mental illness. Dr. Jay shares his journey – in a very transparent way – through the impacts of his behavior on his marriage, his career, and other relationships. It’s a journey marked with significant loss, but also with a great deal of new life, new purpose, forgiveness, and hope. Listen in as Bill and Megan talk with Dr. Jay about:
Links & Other Notes BOOKS ARTICLES Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Putin’s Potential: Is Putin a Malignant Narcissist? Part 2 | 17 Mar 2022 | 00:31:22 | |
Putin hasn’t stopped, as we predicted, and it doesn’t look like he’s going to stop. Is that because he’s backed into a corner? Because he’s trying to save face? Or because his malignant narcissism (yes, that means his narcissism grows over time) won’t allow him to stop? Bill and Megan continue their discussion about what has become one of the worst disasters not only in modern times but in all recorded history, driven by a man who is willing to do what 99.9999% of the rest of the world would never do. In our work we teach that high conflict people do things that 90% of other people would never do. In this case, it’s even more extreme. Although there are other malignant narcissists as political leaders across the globe, he’s the only one engaging in actions that 99.9999% of other people would never do. Listen as Bill and Megan discuss:
Links & Other Notes BOOKS
ARTICLES
Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Is Putin a Malignant Narcissist? If So, Can We Predict His Future Actions? | 10 Mar 2022 | 00:31:37 | |
Putin’s attack on Ukraine. Why is he doing it? What drives him to act with such ferocity to destroy a county, innocent civilians, children? In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss whether Putin is a malignant narcissist, what that means, and whether his future actions can be predicted with this knowledge. To get insight into this personality type and how it manifests in Putin’s framework, listen in as Bill and Megan discuss The Heart of Man: Its Genius for Good and Evil by Erich Fromm wherein Fromm explains malignant narcissism in leaders, along with these important notes:
This is one of our most important episodes — one that everyone should hear to gain an understanding of the realities of what the world is dealing with and what, if anything, can be done to stop him. Links & Other Notes BOOKS
ARTICLES
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Using Empathy, Attention and Respect to Calm Current Conflicts | 03 Mar 2022 | 00:32:36 | |
In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss the use of EAR Statements to calm current conflicts experienced by people across the globe. Anger, accusations, and opinions flying everywhere. People having conversations that most would have not engaged in a few years ago but now seem to be unable to stop themselves. Megan starts off with a recent example from the show ‘Sister Wives’ about the need for the use of empathy in relationships and conversations. Bill explains what an EAR Statement is and how to use them in various scenarios in every day life, such as:
Listen in and learn how to use EAR Statements in any walk of life. Links & Other Notes BOOKS ARTICLES Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes on our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Q&A Lab: Dating Edition | 24 Feb 2022 | 00:35:43 | |
If you are curious about love and romance with challenging – or even toxic – partners, this is your opportunity to hear questions from our listeners and Bill’s and Megan’s answers. In this episode, they answer questions about:
Megan and Bill answer these questions and more in this final episode of the Dating Radar series. Links & Other Notes BOOKS
DATING RADAR TEST & SURVEY RESULTS COURSE ARTICLES
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Dating Radar: Your Blind Spots | 17 Feb 2022 | 00:37:04 | |
Watch Those Blind Spots! The very qualities that help us fall in love can at the same time be the on-ramp for the highway to hell. Avoiding a high-conflict relationship requires looking beyond attraction, chemistry, availability & compatibility, and recognizing your own particular blind spots. Bill and Megan talk about three types of ‘blind spot’ fact-finding and how to understand how your vulnerabilities can blind you. Links & Other Notes BOOKS
DATING RADAR TEST & SURVEY RESULTS ARTICLES Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Dating Radar: How HCPs Jam Your Radar | 10 Feb 2022 | 00:33:01 | |
In the first episode of this Dating Radar four-part series, Megan and Bill discuss how people with high conflict personalities (HCPs) can destroy your life. In this episode, listen in as they discuss how HCPs jam your radar. We’d all like to think we’re wise to it, but there are several factors that make us susceptible, which Megan and Bill discuss. They delve into a Dating Radar survey with over 650 responses from people who have been in high conflict romantic relationships. Respondents shared their experiences and lessons learned, including the “spark” that should have been a red flag but was experienced as a sign of true love and compatibility. And Bill and Megan also discuss the issue of fake compatibility often experienced by those who fall for HCPs. This series is for everyone, but especially for young people or parents of young people who need to pay attention to dating radar before it’s too late. Links & Other Notes BOOKS ARTICLES DATING RADAR TEST & SURVEY RESULTS Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Dating Radar: High Conflict Types You Might Want to Avoid | 03 Feb 2022 | 00:35:19 | |
There are people you shouldn’t marry, have children with, or have a financial entanglement – people with high conflict personalities. They blame, gaslight, lie, deny, make false allegations, and some will seek to destroy you or your reputation. These are relationship destroyers – the people who can ruin your life and make you wish you’d never had children with them. So why do we get involved with them? Why does the brain say ‘yes’ to people who will make your life a living hell? It’s because we don’t have good dating radar and we don’t think we are so stupid that we’d fall into such a horrible relationship. Megan and Bill discuss the five high conflict personality types and how they behave in romantic relationships, including:
Caveat: Not everyone with these personality disorders has a high conflict personality, but some do. How can you tell? They are the blamers, and they’re no fun in relationships. Listen in as Megan and Bill start this four-part series on Dating Radar. Links & Other Notes BOOKS DATING RADAR TEST & SURVEY RESULTS ARTICLES Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| High Conflict Emotion Contagion | 27 Jan 2022 | 00:39:30 | |
The challenge of being emotional creatures Did you know that emotions are contagious? We like to think we are in complete control of our emotions, but lots of research shows that emotions are contagious and it’s how we handle our own emotions once we’re emotionally hooked. In this episode we’ll break down emotion contagion. If you’re a brain nerd like us, or you simply want to have a better understanding of human behavior and the impact of unmanaged emotions on others, you’ll enjoy this episode. Specifically, we’ll discuss:
Links & Other Notes BOOKS ON DEMAND COURSE ARTICLES Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Bringing It to Life #6: Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder Part Two with Guest Amanda Smith | 30 May 2024 | 00:20:16 | |
In the second part of their conversation with Amanda Smith, Bill and Megan explore the challenges faced by families of individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). They discuss the importance of education, self-care, and strategies for navigating high conflict situations. The Importance of Family Support and Self-Care Navigating Fear and Creating Safety Plans Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This episode offers invaluable insights and practical strategies for families affected by Borderline Personality Disorder. Listeners will gain the tools necessary to support their loved ones while maintaining their own well-being. Links & Other Notes GUEST BOOKS COURSE
ORGANIZATIONS
ARTICLES OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Q & A Lab | 20 Jan 2022 | 00:29:40 | |
You’ve got questions. We’ve got answers. In this episode we host our very first Q & A Lab where we answer your questions about high conflict people. We focus on three questions:
Listen in as we answer your questions by identifying whether it’s a high conflict behavior or not, providing insight into the behaviors, and making suggestions for handling them. We’ll be doing a monthly Q & A Lab. Submit your questions anytime! Links & Other Notes BOOKS
AUDIO ARTICLES Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Domestic Violence in Family Law: Part 2 | 13 Jan 2022 | 00:47:31 | |
Domestic Violence Megan and Bill are joined by the Honorable Karen Adam and Annette Burns to discuss domestic violence. This is part two of this conversation. Links & Other Notes THE VIDEO THAT WAS DISCUSSED IN THE EPISODE BIOS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE EXPERTS INTERVIEWED IN THE VIDEO
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at highconflictinstitute.com/podcast as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Domestic Violence in Family Law: Part 1 | 06 Jan 2022 | 00:43:22 | |
Domestic Violence Megan and Bill are joined by the Honorable Karen Adam and Annette Burns to discuss domestic violence. This is part one of this conversation. Links & Other Notes THE VIDEO THAT WAS DISCUSSED IN THE EPISODE BIOS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE EXPERTS INTERVIEWED IN THE VIDEO
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at highconflictinstitute.com/podcast as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Harm Reduction with YouTube Influencer & Author Dr. Todd Grande | 30 Dec 2021 | 00:44:39 | |
Do you love reading thrillers and mysteries? Or binging shows like Dexter on Netflix? If you do, you’re going to love this episode! We’re interviewing our very first podcast guest, Dr. Todd Grande, who is the author of Harm Reduction, a thriller of extraordinary psychological depth that explores the interactions of a therapist, a narcissistic serial killer, and a detective. Their lives intertwine and revolve around leveraging and holding a secret. Dr. Grande is a content creator on YouTube, with 950k subscribers (he’ll likely reach 1 million before this episode airs). On his channel, he discusses the details of various news events, court cases, celebrities, serial killers, personality theory, mental health and much more. Dr. Grande joins Bill and Megan on this episode to discuss his new book and to take a deep dive into the pathology of serial killers. Are they all narcissistic? Sociopaths? Psychopaths? All of the above? What are intricacies of various types, and do they overlap with other types of mental illness. For example, have you ever wondered about serial killers who also have OCD? Dr. Grande and Bill will discuss the personality types, led by Megan who will also discuss Dr. Grande’s other books, a series titled The Notorious Series. They will talk about:
Don’t miss this fascinating talk with Dr. Grande. Links & Other Notes
YOUTUBE CHANNEL Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at highconflictinstitute.com/podcast as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Holiday Conflict Reduction | 23 Dec 2021 | 00:29:35 | |
What causes conflict? Differing ideas and opinions do, but most people can manage it, although extraordinary circumstances, time pressures and stress can click the conflict dial to max for just about anyone. But when you’re dealing with someone with a high conflict personality, you can expect the any gathering, especially holidays gatherings, to have some dramatic or even explosive situations. In the 2020-21 global pandemic, most people are on edge. Anxiety is high. Arguments over the efficacy of masks; whether vaccines will save you, harm you or kill you; lockdowns as a necessity or a loss of fundamental human rights. These are all important topics and impact almost everyone but only a fraction will end up shouting, slamming doors, ending conversations, throwing phones, and telling you that you’re wrong. It doesn't matter what the topic is, people with high conflict personalities will likely create some conflict around it. This episode focuses on how to handle the person who wants to discuss and debate over the dinner table. Bill Eddy will give his best tips for shutting those conversations down in an non-confrontational way that will save your sanity and keep the conflict low through the holidays. The second half of the episode deals with handling loneliness during the holidays, as many parents, grandparents and even kids spend them alone, isolated from the people they love. Whether a regular divorce keeps you from your kids, or a high conflict divorce with alienation has kept you from them for a long time — it’s hardest to cope during the holidays. Bill and Megan touch on these sensitive topics with some helpful information to help you through the holidays and beyond. Links & Other Notes BOOKS
ONLINE COURSE ARTICLES
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Living on the Edge: Borderline High Conflict People | 16 Dec 2021 | 00:48:08 | |
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is an often misunderstood and unfairly maligned mental health issue. Years of misinformation on the Internet, filled with scary details or an impossible life cast a dark shadow. Unfortunately, those who struggle with it would be helped if more people understood what it is and how to help. Many with BPD tend to isolate, but those who also blame may have a borderline high conflict personality. What is it like on the other side of the relationship? What do you do when faced with explosive rage? How do you handle the mood swings and need for constant attachment? What do you do when someone you love seems beyond help? Or how do you help your client in the best way when it seems they sabotage their own case? This type of personality is driven by a fear of being abandoned, so the rules of their operating system direct them to try to remain connected with the people closest to them. Once their fear button is triggered, whether perceived or real (it feels very real to them), their mood can take a wild swing, which is when high conflict behaviors surface: blame, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged intense emotions and extreme behaviors. Sadly, this can drive people away, unless you develop some skills to help you manage the relationship. Without diagnosing or labeling, Bill and Megan discuss the borderline high conflict personality type, including:
There’s a gift side to every person, including those with a borderline high conflict personality, but becoming aware and educated are keys to helping them and helping yourself. In this episode, we explore the borderline high conflict personality — the final in the ‘five types of people’ series. In the previous four episodes we talked about Narcissistic, Antisocial, Paranoid, and Histrionic HCPs (high conflict people). Listen in as Bill and Megan explore the basics of this personality type. You will likely learn something new, gain some insight and a few basic tips on managing relationships with them that benefit everyone. Links & Other Notes BOOKS
ARTICLES
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Living With Suspicion: Paranoid High Conflict People | 09 Dec 2021 | 00:29:43 | |
Ever been around someone who was ultra-suspicious? Not just the typical accusatory behaviors, but someone who suspects conspiracies against them or that someone doesn’t like them or feels a certain way about them ... all based on an assumption or jumping to conclusions from a facial expression? Well, you just may have been around someone with a paranoid high conflict personality. This type of personality is driven by a fear of being betrayed, so the rules of their operating system direct them to be suspicious of others. Once their fear button is triggered, whether perceived or real (it feels very real to them), they attack first. The behaviors of those with high conflict personalities all come out at that time: blame, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behaviors. Bill and Megan discuss the paranoid high conflict personality type, including:
Being around someone like this can wear on your nerves and become draining, but it doesn’t have to. In this episode, we continue talking about the five types of people who can ruin your life. In the previous three episodes we talked about Narcissistic, Antisocial and Histrionic HCPs, or high conflict people. In this episode we are talking about Paranoid HCPs. This one has always been a little confusing for people because the other four types can also appear to have paranoia, and other mental health disorders may also experience the same. Paranoid Personality Disorder is a little different. Links & Other Notes BOOKS
ARTICLES
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Dealing with Drama: Histrionic High Conflict People | 02 Dec 2021 | 00:29:19 | |
Histrionic Personality Disorder. It’s all about the drama. Drama abounds online, on television, in movies, and in everyday life. But have you been around a person who is all drama all the time? With loads of storytelling and emotional persuasion? You may have been around someone with a histrionic high conflict personality. This type of personality is driven by an intense need to be the center of attention, and when they aren’t, the blame and anger begin. But in the beginning, you may have been charmed by their sometimes flirtatious behavior (not all are this way) and later experienced and been exhausted by their non-stop drama and attention-seeking. Bill and Megan discuss the histrionic high conflict personality type, including:
Understanding and dealing with Histrionic HCPs takes time, but learning about their fear-based operating system as well as learning a few simple skills – like setting limits – will help calm your life and prevent you from burning out. If you’ve spent much time around someone with a histrionic high conflict personality, you know how exhausting interactions with them can be. Plus, their M.O. in life is it’s all about me, creating lop-sided relationships and one-way interactions. Setting limits is a key skill in turning that around. The first step is to understand their behavior patterns, starting now. Send us your stories! We’d love to hear your stories so we can talk through them on the show! Please visit our site and click the ‘Submit a Question’ button at the top of the page. You can also send us an email at podcast@highconflictinstitute.com or send us a note on any of our socials. Please rate, review and share this show! Links & Other Notes Books: Conflict Communication Series
On Demand Courses: Submit a Question for Bill and Megan You can also find these show notes on our website as well.
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| The Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict People | 25 Nov 2021 | 00:39:38 | |
The Antisocial Personality Disorder Have you met this person? Someone who:
If so, you might have been around someone with an Antisocial personality. This isn’t the person who stands in the corner during parties –which is often top of mind with the term antisocial. It’s actually Antisocial Personality Disorder (used interchangeably with sociopath). You know... it’s the guy (or gal) who thinks they’re special. He thinks he can park his car anywhere and not be towed. She embezzles from the company or fakes cancer to raise money. He blows up if he does not get the superior treatment he apparently deserves. She has an opinion about everything, hijacks conversations, poo-poos your thoughts and emotions and will lie though her teeth even when she knows she can get caught. Most of all – he wants something from you! If you think you’ve never been around someone like this, you probably have been... but weren’t aware of what you were dealing with. Those who are married to them or have them as bosses know the confusion they cause and likely have experienced the terror in the pit of your stomach. But, surprise, you were most likely charmed in the beginning. Bill and Megan do a deep dive into the antisocial personality type, exploring:
Understanding and dealing with Antisocial HCPs come in layers, and understanding the why they behave that way is the first step. If you’ve been the Target of Blame for an Antisocial HCP, you know the terror and helplessness they exact and the toll they take. Because they’re highly manipulative and charming, it’s easy to get conned by them. Instead, learning what to watch for is imperative. And if it’s too late and you’re already involved with one, it’s a good idea to get help from an expert. The first step is to understand their behavior patterns, starting now. Send us your stories! We’d love to hear your stories so we can talk through them on the show! Please visit our site and click the ‘Submit a Question’ button at the top of the page. You can also send us an email at podcast@highconflictinstitute.com or send us a note on any of our socials. Please rate, review and share this show! Links & Other Notes Books: All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books and some in audio format. Training:
Articles:
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan You can also find these show notes on our website as well.
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| Narcissistic High Conflict People | 18 Nov 2021 | 00:43:36 | |
When an HCP is a Narcissist... Do you know someone whose moods swing wildly? Do they act unreasonably suspicious or antagonistic? Do they blame others for their own problems? When a high conflict person (HCP) has one of five common personality disorders – borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic – they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they’re hard to shake. Most everyone has been around a narcissist, but not everyone understands how to handle a narcissistic HCP. Bill and Megan do a deep dive into this personality type, exploring:
Understanding and dealing with Narcissistic HCPs come in layers, and understanding the why they behave that way is the first step. If you’ve been the Target of Blame for a narcissistic HCP, you know the devastating impact it can have. It’s easy to get emotionally hooked by their aggressive behaviors and respond with aggression or avoidance, which emboldens them. Instead, learning the necessary skills –that don’t always feel natural – is the ticket to managing interactions with them. The first step is to understand their behavior patterns, starting now. Send us your stories! We’d love to hear your stories so we can talk through them on the show! Please visit our site and click the ‘Submit a Question’ button at the top of the page. You can also send us an email at podcast@highconflictinstitute.com or send us a note on any of our socials. Please rate, review and share this show! Links & Other Notes Books:
Training:
Articles:
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan You can also find these show notes on our website as well.
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| Bringing It to Life #6: Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder Part One with Guest Amanda Smith | 23 May 2024 | 00:33:27 | |
In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy are joined by special guest Amanda Smith to discuss Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), continuing our Bringing It to Life series. They explore the common experiences of individuals with BPD, such as intense emotions, impulsive behaviors, and self-destructive tendencies. The Power of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This episode offers valuable insights into understanding Borderline Personality Disorder, exploring effective treatment options, and discussing the emotional struggles faced by individuals with BPD. Listeners will gain knowledge and strategies for supporting their loved ones on the path to recovery. Links & Other Notes GUEST BOOKS COURSE
ORGANIZATIONS
ARTICLES OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life | 11 Nov 2021 | 00:42:57 | |
When an HCP also has a personality disorder... Personality disorder or not, people with a high conflict personality (HCPs) have a pattern of high-conflict behavior that increases conflict rather than reducing or resolving it. This pattern usually happens over and over again in many different situations with many different people. The issue that seems in conflict at the time is not what is increasing the conflict. The “issue” is the high-conflict personality and how the person approaches problem-solving. With HCPs, the pattern of behavior often includes a lot of these four characteristics:
HCPs also seem to have personality disorders or some traits of these disorders. This means that they have long-term patterns of:
Mental health professionals have identified ten personality disorders. Five of these have a tendency to become HCPs: those with narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, paranoid, or histrionic personality disorders or traits. This helps us understand why they stay stuck in conflict – namely because of two reasons: they don’t reflect on their part of the problem, and they don’t change. So, the conflict continues or gets worse. Perhaps you know someone with this pattern. Someone who insists that you – or someone you know – is entirely to blame for a large or small (or non-existent) problem. If so, he or she may be an HCP and you likely have felt targeted by them and unsure what to do. In this episode, Bill and Megan give an overview of the five types and why the ways we interact with them don’t work, and why you can’t get them to reflect on themselves. Send us your stories! We’d love to hear your stories so we can talk through them on the show! Please visit our site and click the ‘Submit a Question’ button at the top of the page. You can also send us an email at podcast@highconflictinstitute.com or send us a note on any of our socials. Please rate, review and share this show! Links & Other Notes Books:
Training: Articles: Submit a Question for Bill and Megan You can also find these show notes on our website as well.
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| HCPs in the Workplace & Using BIFF at Work | 04 Nov 2021 | 00:35:13 | |
We’re looking at HCPs in the workplace and how to use BIFF at work. A narcissistic boss. Have you had one? It’s pretty common, so you’re lucky if you haven’t experienced the dread of waking every morning knowing you must face your boss for the next eight hours. Condescending comments and zingers. Out-of-control narcissistic rage from a narcissistic injury. Storming off to HR, their manager, the CEO — anywhere they go to let out their frustrations — which are many. It seems there’s always a dilemma, which obviously is a major time suck. What’s behind this? And what can be done to manage it? Is termination the only option for a high conflict employee? Or do you just remain in misery? Should you quit or should you stay? Knowing how challenging it can be to handle a narcissistic supervisor, manager, or boss of any kind, Bill and Megan talk about the driving forces behind this high conflict personality type and discuss some specific tips for managing the HCP instead of letting them make you miserable. The good news: it is possible to turn things around using the right skills. Your life gets easier if you use these when dealing with a hostile boss, an undermining co-worker, a disruptive team member or any high conflict situation. Bill and Megan also discuss their thoughts on media observations about whether Steve Jobs from Apple was a high conflict personality, as well as Elizabeth Holmes, who is currently standing trial in federal court for her alleged misdeeds as CEO of Theranos. If you’re in a situation with a Narcissistic HCP at work, try one of these communication tools: an EAR Statement™ or BIFF Response®. Empathy • Attention • Respect: an EAR Statement is all you need to remember when communicating verbally with a Narcissistic HCP. We’d love to hear your stories so we can talk through them on the show! Please visit our site and click the ‘Submit a Question’ button at the top of the page. You can also send us an email at podcast@highconflictinstitute.com or send us a note on any of our socials. Please rate, review and share this show! Links & Other Notes
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan You can also find these show notes at highconflictinstitute.com/podcast as well.
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| Using BIFF Responses | 28 Oct 2021 | 00:38:29 | |
In today’s episode, we talk about how to tackle hostile communications with BIFF Responses. What is a hostile communication? It usually contains blame and personal attacks. You read it. Your heart rate doubles. You either want to blast back or instantly delete. Mostly, you never want to hear from that person again. It was far less common pre-electronic communication. Now it’s a matter of daily life, especially on social media or even more so when the communication is coming from someone with a high conflict personality. The challenge with dealing with HCPs, or people with High Conflict Personalities, is that they wage war wherever they can, including on your screen. The problem is that most people respond right away. Why? Because they think they need to defend themselves. We talk about why people do that; why the HCP sends it in the first place; whether or not you need to respond; and if you do, how to do it differently using a BIFF Response. Do you need to respond? Much of hostile e-communication does not need a response. Letters from (ex-) spouses, angry neighbors, irritating co-workers, or attorneys do not usually have legal significance. The letter itself has no power, unless you give it power. Often, it is emotional venting aimed at relieving the writer’s anxiety. If you respond with similar emotions and hostility, you will simply escalate things without satisfaction, and just get a new piece of hostile mail back. In most cases, you are better off not responding. If you do have to respond, use a BIFF Response. Some letters and emails develop power when copies are filed in a court or complaint process – or simply get sent to other people. In these cases, it may be important to respond to inaccurate statements with accurate statements of fact. The best way to handle hostile communications from an HCP is with a BIFF Response. BIFF reminds you to be Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm, assuming you need to respond. We’d love to hear your stories so we can talk through them on the show! Please visit our site and click the Submit a Question button at the top of the page. You can also send us an email at podcast@highconflictinstitute.com or send us a note on any of our socials. Please rate, review and share this show! Links & Other Notes
You can also find these show notes at highconflictinstitute.com/podcast as well.
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| Who Are High Conflict People? | 21 Oct 2021 | 00:33:54 | |
In today’s episode, we look at what makes up a high conflict person and talk about EAR Statements. Blamers. Narcissists. Accusers. Ragers. These are all people who may fall into the category of High Conflict Personality. Most of us don’t act this way, but these people don’t often realize they’re acting this way and can’t control themselves. So should you engage? Or should you learn how to deal with them? If you guessed the latter, you’d be right. Many people say these people are unpredictable, but Megan and Bill talk about how these people actually are very predictable... if you know what to look for. Several things can lead to people becoming HCPs. It could be genetic or could come from how they were raised. And because of this, HCPs can exist anywhere in the world. So how do you deal with them? Well, the first step is learning to identify them. They will usually blame anyone but themselves, and they’ll never be able to connect the dots back to themselves. They rarely take responsibility for their own actions. But the feelings are so strongly in them that they can’t have their mind changed. Once you realize you’re dealing with an HCP, definitely don’t tell them they’re an HCP. It’s likely going to trigger them further. If you’re in a situation with an HCP, try an EAR Statement. Empathy. Attention Respect. These tools may seem opposite to how you’d normally deal with a person who is confronting you, but remember, you’re not an HCP. The HCP needs this so you can get out of the situation you’re in. It’s hard, but give it a try. We’d love to hear your stories so we can talk through them on the show! Please visit our site and click the Submit a Question button at the top of the page. You can also send us an email at podcast@highconflictinstitute.com or send us a note on any of our socials. Please rate, review and share this show! Links & Other Notes
You can also find these show notes at highconflictinstitute.com/podcast as well.
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| Welcome to It’s All Your Fault! | 07 Oct 2021 | 00:02:13 | |
Welcome to It’s All Your Fault, the show about dealing with the High Conflict People in your life. The first episode drops in two weeks so subscribe now so you don’t miss any episode when they release! Episodes drop every Thursday during the season. We’ll be talking about all aspects of dealing with HCPs in your life, and we welcome questions! Please submit questions at our site using the link below. We just may be answering your question in an upcoming episode. Links & Other Notes
You can also find these show notes at highconflictinstitute.com/podcast as well.
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| Bringing It to Life #5: Navigating Money and Corporate Complexities in High Conflict Divorces with Guest Kate Merrill | 16 May 2024 | 00:43:04 | |
High Conflict Cases and Money: Navigating the Complexities In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill and Megan are joined by special guest Kate Merrill, a California attorney specializing in complex divorce cases involving stock options and other business and corporate issues. As part of the Bringing It to Life series, they explore the intricacies of high conflict divorces involving money and finances. Kate shares her unique perspective, having transitioned from a corporate attorney in Silicon Valley to a family law attorney. Her background in corporate law and MBA in finance enable her to approach these cases with a fresh perspective, uncovering hidden assets and untangling complex financial structures. Bill and Megan discuss the common patterns of behavior exhibited by high conflict individuals in divorce cases involving money, including controlling finances and using manipulation tactics to hide assets or mislead their partners. Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This episode offers invaluable insights for anyone navigating a high conflict divorce involving money and finances, providing strategies to uncover the truth and achieve a fair outcome. Links & Other Notes GUEST
BOOKS
ORGANIZATIONS ARTICLES OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Bringing It to Life #4: Dealing with High Conflict Personalities in Academia | 09 May 2024 | 00:28:58 | |
Surviving Academia: Navigating High Conflict Personalities in Higher Education In this episode of "It's All Your Fault," the fourth installment of the Bringing It to Life series, Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy tackle the unique challenges of dealing with high conflict individuals in academia. Drawing from a listener's question about a bullying boss in a university setting, Bill and Megan explore the dynamics of toxic work environments in higher education and provide strategies for navigating these treacherous waters. The Ivory Tower's Dirty Secret: High Conflict Personalities in Academia Bill and Megan discuss the prevalence of high conflict personalities in academia, noting that the tolerant and helping nature of the industry can attract and enable difficult individuals. They highlight the specific challenges of dealing with tenured professors who exhibit high conflict behaviors, as well as the emotional toll this takes on colleagues and the institution as a whole. Navigating the Minefield: Strategies for Dealing with High Conflict Colleagues in Higher Education Bill introduces the CARS method – Connect, Analyze options, Respond, and Set limits – as a framework for managing interactions with high conflict individuals in academic settings. He emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, providing useful information without arguing, and imposing consequences when necessary, while acknowledging the limitations of individual action in the face of institutional tolerance. The Delicate Dance of Leaving a Toxic Academic Environment Bill and Megan address the challenges of leaving an academic position due to a high conflict colleague, particularly in the context of an exit interview. They discuss the potential risks of speaking openly about the reasons for departure, the judgment calls involved in deciding what to share, and the importance of securing another position before leaving. Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This episode offers valuable insights and practical strategies for anyone navigating the complex world of high conflict personalities in academia. By understanding the unique dynamics at play in higher education and employing the techniques discussed by Bill and Megan, listeners can better protect themselves and their careers while working in this challenging environment. Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Bringing It to Life #3: Dealing with Parental Alienation | 02 May 2024 | 00:33:07 | |
Parental Alienation: What It Is and How to Handle It In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill and Megan dive into the complex topic of parental alienation in divorce and separation cases. They answer a listener's question about an extreme case of alienation and provide insights on what alienation is, how it differs from estrangement, and most importantly, what can be done about it. Understanding Alienation and Estrangement Treating Alienation and Estrangement Bringing the Listener's Case to Life Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This episode provides valuable insights into the complex issue of parental alienation and offers practical advice for those dealing with this challenging situation. By understanding the differences between alienation and estrangement, and learning about effective treatment approaches, listeners can take steps to help children heal and maintain healthy relationships with both parents. Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Bringing It to Life #2: Dealing with High Conflict Personalities in the Workplace | 25 Apr 2024 | 00:30:40 | |
Bill and Megan continue their “Bringing It to Life” series, discussing how to identify and manage high conflict personalities in the workplace. They provide insights and strategies for leaders to improve workplace culture. Bill and Megan aim to help listeners learn skills to keep conflict small and maintain healthy work environments. In this episode, they focus on limiting the damage caused by toxic employees. Recognizing High Conflict Behavior Patterns
Managing High Conflict Employees
Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This practical episode provides valuable insights for improving morale and productivity by minimizing the damage caused by high conflict personalities. Bill and Megan offer useful strategies to create a thriving workplace. Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Bringing It to Life #1: Navigating High Conflict Mediation Part Two | 18 Apr 2024 | 00:36:34 | |
In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill and Megan continue their "Bringing It to Life" series with special guest Elaine Richardson, a solicitor and mediator from the UK. Continuing their conversation from the previous episode, they dive deep into the challenges of managing high conflict personalities in family law and mediation, offering practical strategies for professionals and individuals alike. Identifying High Conflict Personalities Navigating High Conflict Clients and Mediation Effective Communication Strategies Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This episode of It's All Your Fault offers invaluable insights for professionals and individuals navigating the challenges of high conflict personalities in family law and mediation. Bill, Megan, and Elaine provide practical strategies and real-world examples that listeners can apply to their own situations, making this a must-listen episode for anyone seeking to manage high conflict interactions more effectively. Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Bringing It to Life #1: Navigating High Conflict Mediation & Poll Results | 11 Apr 2024 | 00:45:38 | |
Poll Results, Case Studies, and Strategies: Navigating High Conflict Mediation In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill and Megan kick off a new periodic series called "Bring It to Life," where they dive into real-life case studies and provide practical strategies for navigating high conflict situations. They also share the results of recent polls on child custody and women in marriage. Joined by special guest Elaine Richardson, a family solicitor from the UK, Bill and Megan explore the challenges of mediating cases involving high conflict personalities. Revealing Poll Results and Introducing "Bring It to Life" Bill and Megan begin the episode by discussing the results of two recent polls conducted on their website. The first poll focuses on child custody, revealing insights into the perspectives of family law professionals and family members. The second poll explores the topic of women and marriage, shedding light on the experiences and opinions of their listeners. Following the poll results, Bill and Megan introduce their new series, "Bring It to Life," where they will examine real-life case studies to provide listeners with practical advice and strategies for handling high conflict situations. Navigating the Complexities of High Conflict Mediation In the first installment of "Bring It to Life," Bill and Megan, along with Elaine Richardson, delve into a specific case study involving a high conflict personality in mediation. They discuss the challenges posed by individuals who engage in manipulative behavior, cause delays, and create difficulties for mediators and legal professionals. By examining this real-life scenario, they offer valuable insights and techniques for preventing further delays and effectively managing high conflict personalities in mediation. The episode also explores the concept of hybrid mediation, with Elaine explaining how it differs from traditional family mediation in the UK. Bill and Megan highlight the benefits of having lawyers present during mediation sessions and emphasize the importance of maintaining confidentiality throughout the process. Recognizing and Addressing Bullying Behavior A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing projection and bullying behavior in high conflict cases. Bill and Megan share their expertise on recognizing these behaviors and provide strategies for negotiating with individuals who exhibit them. They stress the importance of understanding the spectrum of bullying behaviors, ranging from reputation smearing to more extreme cases of violence and destruction. Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This episode of It's All Your Fault offers a wealth of information and practical advice for anyone dealing with high conflict personalities in mediation or legal settings. By sharing poll results, introducing the "Bring It to Life" series, and discussing real-life case studies, Bill and Megan provide listeners with valuable insights and strategies to navigate these challenging situations effectively. Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Asked and Answered: Navigating High Conflict Personalities with Practical Strategies | 08 Aug 2024 | 00:30:55 | |
In this solo episode, Megan Hunter dives into the world of high conflict personalities. With co-host Bill Eddy away, Megan takes the opportunity to answer listener questions and provide valuable insights on identifying and dealing with individuals who exhibit high conflict behaviors. Throughout the episode, she offers practical strategies for managing these challenging interactions and maintaining your own well-being. Understanding the Five Types of High Conflict Personalities Navigating Family Dynamics with High Conflict Personalities Strategies for Professional Settings Coping with a High Conflict Adult Child Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This episode offers invaluable insights for anyone struggling to navigate relationships with high conflict personalities. By understanding the root causes of their behavior and employing the strategies discussed, listeners can develop healthier, more productive interactions with these individuals. Megan's expertise and practical advice make this an essential listen for anyone seeking to improve their communication skills and maintain their well-being in challenging situations. Links & Other Notes “LIVE” CLASSES/COURSES
BOOKS
ARTICLES OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Exploring the Path to Mediation: A Conversation with Sonja Wood | 04 Apr 2024 | 00:33:18 | |
Welcome to another insightful discussion with Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter as they welcome mediator Sonja Wood. Bill and Megan chat with Sonja about her fascinating journey from chemistry to mediation. Sonja discusses her experiences facing discrimination and a lack of conflict training in Europe that pushed her to study mediation. She shares navigating cultural differences working across countries and her transition to life in Texas. Bill and Megan are keen to learn how Sonja utilizes high conflict methods like BIFF in her work. Sonja reflects on encountering closed doors trying to address issues at her former company and deciding to gain conflict resolution skills instead. She took German mediation training before attaining Texas certification and specializing in civil and business mediation. Sonja values continuing education, most recently in positive psychology. Bill and Megan admire Sonja actively supporting mediation across the Lone Star State in volunteer work and through her Texas Association of Mediators chairship. Whether considering mediation or dealing with disputes yourself, tune in for valuable insight on constructive resolution from this esteemed guest. Sonja's perseverance achieving success across cultures proves issues are solvable when approached with understanding, like the high conflict methods advocated by the High Conflict Institute. Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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| Defusing Workplace Drama: Expert Advice for Managing High Conflict Personalities | 28 Mar 2024 | 00:41:04 | |
Navigating High Conflict Personalities in the Workplace In this episode of "It's All Your Fault", Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy are joined by special guest Cherolyn Knapp to answer listener questions about dealing with high conflict personalities at work. As experts in the field of high conflict resolution, Bill and Megan provide valuable insights and strategies for managing challenging workplace interactions. Identifying and Responding to High Conflict Behavior Supporting Targets of High Conflict Behavior Questions we answer in this episode:
Key Takeaways:
This episode offers valuable insights and practical strategies for navigating the challenges of high conflict personalities in the workplace. Whether you're a manager looking to protect your team or an individual feeling targeted by a high conflict coworker, Bill, Megan, and Cherolyn’s expertise can help you identify problematic behaviors, respond effectively, and prioritize your well-being. Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
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