Getting Close is an intimate exploration of how we connect, love, and build relationships in the modern world. Each week, host Aidan Wharton sits down with culture-shaping voices to give you practical insights from honest conversations about relationships, Queerness, sex, connection, and community.
Trans Thought Leader: The Complex Politics of Being a Man
Saison 1 · Épisode 10
mardi 17 mars 2026 • Durée 54:21
What can gay men learn from trans men?
In this episode of Getting Close, I sit down with my friend Sandy for a very vulnerable conversation about how trans men and cis men exist within the gay community. We dive into masculinity, privilege, and what compassionate inclusion can look like in our spaces.
Sandy Gooen is a published and produced writer. He’s currently developing a musical called Twink Piece. He also runs TEMPO (@theetempo), which is an organization for Trans music professionals. His professional and academic background is mostly music and theater, but in his free time, he focuses a lot on gender and LGBT topics. At the root of Sandy’s work is the desire to cultivate belonging and understanding!
We get into
* Which conversations about transness are oversaturated
* Which conversations about transness still need to happen
* What gay men don’t know about the trans experience
* The different ways that masculinity affects us all
* And why gay men only talk to people they’re attracted to, and how to start to change that.
(32:40) The Unspoken Social Rules Inside Queer Spaces
(38:00) Why We’re Afraid to Talk About Trans Experiences
(43:30) Who Gets to Define Masculinity
(49:30) What Connection Between Men Can Look Like
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe
Gay Intimacy Researcher: The Hidden Rules of Hookup Culture
Saison 1 · Épisode 9
mardi 10 mars 2026 • Durée 52:54
How has the internet changed gay s*x, consent, and intimacy?
In this episode, Andrew Restieri joins me to discuss the complexities of digital intimacy within gay culture. We discuss how everyone has differing rules about consent, the economy of nude photos, who owns a nude once it’s sent, the rise of hookup apps, and how they affect our in-person experiences.
Andrew Restieri is a PhD candidate at Cornell whose research broadly centers on the use of digital technology to facilitate online communities, especially for queer people. His dissertation examines the online sexual practices of gay men and how those practices challenge conventional understandings of intimacy and consent. He also holds a master’s from Johns Hopkins University and a BA from Northwestern.
We unpack:
🟡 The “economy of nudes” that exists in gay culture.
🟡 Why consent online is almost impossible to define.
🟡 The uncomfortable question: who owns a nude once it’s sent?
🟡 Why digital intimacy and real-life intimacy may now be the same thing.
🟡 The surprising reason some men send unsolicited nudes.
🟡 The real question behind every app interaction: what do we owe each other?
If you’ve ever taken a nude, this episode’s for you.
Chapters
(00:00) Introduction
(02:40) Connection Questions and Personal Insights
(04:40) Research Focus: Gay Men’s Digital Practices
(07:52) Understanding Consent and Privacy in Digital Spaces
(10:08) The Economy of Nudes: Value and Exchange
(12:56) Digital vs. In-Person Intimacy: A Blurred Line
(15:45) Impact of Hookup Apps on Gay Male Intimacy
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit
Introducing: Getting Close
mercredi 7 janvier 2026 • Durée 01:00
Aidan Wharton introduces his new podcast, 'Getting Close,' all about connection. With an incredible mix of guests, the show focuses on how to revive connection in our digitally disconnected world. Launching on January 13th. When connection feels far, we start by getting close.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe
Poly-Queer Therapist: How Your Discomfort is Key to Happier Relationships
Saison 1 · Épisode 8
mardi 3 mars 2026 • Durée 54:41
What if I told you discomfort was the secret to better relationships?
In this episode, Rachel Wright joins me to talk about the fascinating way that discomfort can help you have better relationships of any structure. We explore the nuances of modern friendship, letting people down, secret patterns running our relationships, monogamy unlearnings, and the unique way gay couples are more likely to be open vs. poly.
Rachel Wright is a distinguished psychotherapist and renowned speaker with expertise in modern relationships, mental health, and sex. With a Master’s Degree in clinical psychology, Rachel has worked with thousands of clients worldwide and has been featured in The New York Times, Women’s Health, Cosmo and more. Rachel currently lives in New York City with her wife and two kids.
We unpack:
* How to let people down healthily
* What gay couples need to do to practice openness better
* How ingrained patterns shape shapes the way we love
* How non-monogamy can show up in our youth before we have language for it
* Whether or not nonmonogamy is a orientation or a preference
* And how expanding our distress tolerance can change the way we approach openness
Chapters
(00:00) Introduction
(02:28) Exploring Healthy Communication in Relationships
(14:37) The Journey to Becoming a Therapist
(17:53) Reflections on Non-Monogamy and Youth Experiences
(22:42) Core Beliefs About Relationships and Non-Monogamy
(25:00) Unlearning Monogamy and Embracing Discomfort
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit
Queer Broadway Author: How Queer Storytelling Can Change You
Saison 1 · Épisode 7
mardi 24 février 2026 • Durée 51:33
If you could go back in time to Queer, 1996, New York, would you? In this episode, Andrew Keenan-Bolger joins me to do just that through his debut novel Limelight. We unpack why telling queer stories is urgent in this political climate, the importance of chosen family, banned books, magical realism, and what we owe our Queer ancestors.
Andrew Keenan-Bolger is an actor, director, author, and filmmaker who starred as Jesse Tuck in Tuck Everlasting and Crutchie in the Newsies on Broadway, among many others. Along with his collaborator, Kate Weatherhead, though, he is the co-creator of the critically acclaimed web series Submissions Only and co-author of the children’s series Jack and Louisa. He is also the author of the upcoming novel, Limelight.
We explore:
🟡 What it was like coming of age in post-AIDS New York.
🟡 The difference between discomfort and being unsafe.
🟡 Why writing flawed queer characters is essential.
🟡 What book bans actually cost young people these days.
🟡 And how to find and build chosen family later in life.
Chapters
(00:00 Introduction to Connection and Literature
(02:21) Andrew’s Journey and Background
(07:04) The Inspiration Behind Limelight
(11:21) Exploring Queer History and Identity
(18:34) The Role of Magical Realism in Storytelling
(23:20) The Importance of Community and Connection
(28:06) Navigating Challenges in Queer Literature
(32:12) Writing Flawed Characters and Growth
(37:14) Surprises in the Writing Process
(42:08) Fun and Personal Insights
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit
Gay Relationship Coach: If You're Feeling Stuck with Dating, Listen to This!
Saison 1 · Épisode 6
mardi 17 février 2026 • Durée 49:50
Are you fed up with modern dating? In this episode, that’s not just for singles, Trevor Kuhn discusses the challenges of modern courtship, why conflict is essential for relationships, the pitfalls of AI in dating, and why expectations are keeping you single.
Trevor Kuhn is a love and relationship coach and matchmaker for gay and queer men. He helps them shift old patterns and build deeper, more intentional connections through 1-on-1 coaching, group workshops, engaging social content, and live events.
He explains:
🟡 Simple steps to talk to people in person again.
🟡 Why conflict is essential in any relationship.
🟡 How expectations are the #1 thing keeping folks single.
🟡 Why you should delete Grindr.
🟡 The essential work you must do before and during a relationship.
P.S. The easiest way for you to get involved: If you haven’t already, please take 20 seconds to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and/or YouTube! It really is the most helpful thing you can do besides listening and telling your friends!
Chapters
(00:00) Introduction
(04:25) How Trev Became A Relationship Coach
(10:05) First Date Tips
(11:46) Unique Challenges of Modern Gay Dating
(14:38) Why Vulnerability is Essential in Dating
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit
My Husband: How to Build an Open Relationship That Works
Saison 1 · Épisode 5
mardi 10 février 2026 • Durée 59:34
My husband CASEY GARVIN and I dive deep into our own relationship, answering questions from listeners about our journey, our love, and our openness over the past eight years.
On this episode, we get deep about:
* The unique ways that we navigate and heal from conflict.
* Who proposed to whom.
* How we planned our atypical wedding.
* How we learned to embrace jealousy in our open relationship.
* What our personal rules around openness are.
* How we navigate sexual health.
* And some fun things, like our favorite things about each other.
P.S. The easiest way for you to get involved: If you haven’t already, please take 20 seconds to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and/or YouTube! It really is the most helpful thing you can do besides listening and telling your friends!
Chapters
(00:00) Intro
(01:37) Our Six Questions to Fall In Love
(08:31) How We Met & Our First Date
(13:23) Why We Broke Up
(18:09) Why We Broke Up
(19:05) Our Proposal Story
(21:42) How We Planned Our Atypical Wedding
(29:39) How We Navigate Conflict
(32:37) How Our Relationship Exists Online
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit
Top Epstein Investigator: How to Find The Truth and Build Community Through Independent Journalism!
Saison 1 · Épisode 4
mardi 3 février 2026 • Durée 52:33
Top Epstein Investigator ELLIE LEONARD explains how she dissects every page of the Epstein files, how she balances being a parent amidst the chaos, and how she builds a community of like-minded truth seekers that YOU can be a part of.
Ellie Leonard is an author, editor, small-business owner, and contributor for Blue Amp Media. Recently, she’s made a name for herself as she pores over every document in the Epstein Files with the incredible community she’s built on Substack.
On this episode, we get into:
* The importance of community in uncovering the truth.
* How AI and social media have disrupted traditional media.
* How to re-engage with the news by finding voices you trust.
* How to find common ground in political discussions.
* Essential Tips for Online Security.
* And how hope and optimism can coexist within today’s harsh reality.
P.S. The easiest way for you to get involved: If you haven’t already, please take 20 seconds to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and/or YouTube! It really is the most helpful thing you can do besides listening and telling your friends!
Chapters
(00:00) Introduction
(04:52) Ellie’s Unexpected Path to Epstein
(08:07) Raising Politically Aware Children
(10:00) Balancing Work and Family Life
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit
Historic Tony Award Winner: How to Balance Faith and Queerness with Joy
Saison 1 · Épisode 3
mardi 27 janvier 2026 • Durée 56:08
Nonbinary icon J HARRISON GHEE reveals how they balance queerness, religion, and spirituality, the power of finding grace and joy in challenging times, and how you can show up authentically even when everyone is telling you to be someone else.
J Harrison Ghee is a Tony and Grammy Award winner who made history as the first nonbinary performer to win in a leading individual performance category. They’ve also appeared in numerous film/TV productions and is an outspoken advocate for the Queer community.
On this episode, they explain:
-How Drag helped them embrace their gender.
-How Kinky Boots helped heal their family.
-The four Inspiring Phrases to Realign Your Life.
-What it felt like to win a Tony Award.
-How to let go of what doesn’t serve you in order to move forward.
P.S. The easiest way for you to get involved: If you haven’t already, please take 20 seconds to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and/or YouTube! It really is the most helpful thing you can do besides listening and telling your friends!
Chapters
(00:00) Intro
(02:52) Growing Up Queer in North Carolina
(07:59) Balancing Queerness & Religion
(11:46) Navigating Parents As Adult Children
(16:39) J’s Start in New York
(20:25) Doing Drag in Japan
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit
Sex & Relationships Expert: How to Connect Better in Bed & in Life
Saison 1 · Épisode 2
mardi 20 janvier 2026 • Durée 57:43
Hi friends, and welcome back to Getting Close! The response from y’all this whole past week has been so beautifully moving. Thank you to everyone who reached out, shared, Restacked, reviewed, etc. As I wrote here, putting something like this out into the world is so vulnerable, and you all have lifted me up in the most encouraging way. I really think this project is going to do incredible things, and I can’t wait to continue building it with you.
The easiest way for you to get involved: If you haven’t already, please take 20 seconds to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and/or YouTube! It really is the most helpful thing you can do besides listening and telling your friends!
Episode 2 - Shadeen Francis
I met Shadeen at a Hinge event a few months ago, and after listening to her talk, I knew instantly that I wanted her on the pod. Everything she said during the panel oozed wisdom in a way that was profound, yet accessible. So, when she agreed to come on the show, I was delighted. I had so many questions prepared, and our conversation took so many beautiful turns with so many incredible insights.
We get into:
* Whether or not we’re in a sex recession
* How folks use TherapyTalk to create distance rather than bridge it
* This deeply unsettling way AI is infiltrating our relationships
* Why you can get off alone, but not with other people
* A surprising way porn is affecting your sex life.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit
(18:36) Consent and Boundaries in Digital Interactions
(21:12) The Politics of Ownership and Consent
(24:32) Navigating Consent in a Diverse Landscape
(26:57) Class Politics and Digital Intimacy
(33:15) Navigating Boundaries in Gay Digital Spaces
(39:24) The Role of Digital Tools in Gay Connections
* This one trait that the most successful open relationships have
Bonus Content!
Then, if you want even more of our talk that I had to cut for time, paid subscribers get access to bonus content questions, and the Subscriber Chat, where you can submit your own questions for future guests!
Bonus content with Shadeen includes:
* Which book(s) to read to better your relationships.
* The surprising benefit of being a benchwarmer on a winning team.
* How Aidans’ concept of friendship has changed due to social media.
* Shadeen’s favorite small act of rebellion that she performs daily.
Chapters
* 00:00 Introduction and Background
* 02:15 Who is Shadeen Francis?
* 08:27 Why Each Generation Needs New Language
* 10:13 Is Vulnerability Weak?
* 11:07 Are We Using TherapySpeak Too Much?
* 14:19 How to Navigate Loneliness
* 17:06 Physical Pain Vs. Emotional Pain
* 18:17 What Is Social Media Really Doing to Us?
* 20:24 We’re Doing A Lot of Drugs
* 22:51 Where Did Our Culture Go?
* 26:08 How AI Affects Our Relationships
* 30:41 Why I Get Angry on the Subway
* 35:11 Are We In a Sex Recession?
* 37:54 Navigating Sexual Anxiety
* 46:17 Reigniting Passion in Long-Term Open Relationships
* 52:43 Shadeen’s Curiosity, Connection, & Community
♥️ If you could, will you hit that heart right below? That boosts us in Substack’s algorithm! Thanks babe! ♥️
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