welcome to a parenting space actually designed for YOU! where you can get answers about navigating a life that includes autism.
I’m Dr. Tay, a licensed child psychologist specializing in autism and neuroaffirming care. I have supported 100s of autistic children and their families and have been in the autism field for over a decade.
on this podcast, we focus on supporting your autistic child AND your whole family, including you! every topic is on the table, and your questions (which you can submit through my social media) inspire the episodes created. I share some of my personal stories growing up with a brother who was diagnosed at 23 months of age as well as feature other families' stories so you know you are not navigating this journey alone. this is a space for you to be SEEN. HEARD. SUPPORTED. and get reputable and reliable information about autism instead of searching Google endlessly for hours. I am so dang grateful that you are here.
***disclaimer: not clinical advice, for educational purposes only***
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Données mises à jour le 31/10/2026
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237 | actually, i'm autistic: burnout, unmasking, and parenting with katherine l'etang
mercredi 28 octobre 2026 • Durée 39:58
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
what happens when you're parenting autistic kids while also figuring out your own neurotype, capacity, and what actually works for your family?
dr. tay welcomes back katherine l'etang, known as @theneurodiversitymom, to celebrate her new book, Actually, I'm Autistic: Relatable Advice from a Late-Diagnosed Woman Who Couldn't Mask Forever.
together, they explore autistic burnout, masking, and the pressure to do everything "right" as a parent. katherine shares how her family's journey has evolved, why small moments of restoration matter, and how experiences that once felt impossible can change over time.
it's a conversation about embracing your own needs, honoring your child's, and recognizing that there isn't one right way to navigate autism or parenting.
you’ll hear about:
why katherine wanted to write a book that combines lived experience, research, and practical guidance
the importance of intersectionality and recognizing that no single autistic experience is universal
how small moments of joy and restoration can support parents navigating burnout
when researching and trying to find the "right" answers can become another source of overwhelm
how katherine's son's school journey evolved from burnout and school withdrawal to thriving in a classroom
why respecting your own capacity and leaving room for nuance matters in neurodiversity-affirming parenting
timestamps
00:00 introducing katherine’s book and her return to the show
04:22 why intersectionality belongs in autism conversations
06:00 a chapter-a-month writing process amid parenting and a move
09:30 burnout, cathartic writing, and the chapter that was hardest
12:19 small glimmers and realistic restoration for parents
16:20 survival, research overload, and noticing the present
20:33 how katherine's son's school journey changed over time
23:14 writing about family, vulnerability, and masking
27:28 what katherine is proud of and why the book is a handbook
32:04 parent capacity, a gradual school return, and the need for nuance
37:08 making room for complexity beyond social media
⚡️ follow Katherine on Instagram @theneurodiversitymom for her lived experience and reflections on being autistic and raising neurodivergent kids
⚡️ return to Katherine's previous episode (#95) as well as the three-part burnout series (episodes #234-236)
⚡️ EVOLVE the membership — ongoing education, monthly masterclasses, and weekly Q+A support for parents of autistic kids
⚡️ explore dr. tay's clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on Instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes reflections, and parenting insights
236 | how to support your autistic child through burnout with amanda diekman (part 3)
mercredi 21 octobre 2026 • Durée 48:43
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
this episode wraps up our three-part series on autistic burnout.
dr. tay is joined by amanda diekman, author of The Parent's Handbook for Kids in Burnout, to talk about what burnout recovery can actually look like over time and why healing is rarely linear.
amanda breaks down the phases of burnout, how support needs change across each phase, what “deep rest” can look like for kids, and why parents may need to continually recalibrate between accommodation, capacity-building, safety, and trust.
you’ll hear about:
why burnout is often a long-term healing process rather than something to “fix”
the phases of burnout and how to recognize where your child may be
why curiosity can return before actual nervous system capacity
how accommodation needs can shift throughout recovery
the role of school, medication, therapy, safety planning, and basic needs
what deep rest can actually look like for autistic kids
why parents often need support for their own nervous systems, too
timestamps
00:00 introduction to burnout and amanda diekman's background
02:15 the long journey of writing the burnout book
03:16 shifting mindset from fixing to living well in burnout
04:24 understanding burnout as a long-term process
06:34 defining burnout
08:08 the impact of school and environment on burnout
16:22 the butterfly metaphor: from chrysalis to emergence
19:58 phase one: the child as "a pile of goo"
21:01 phase two: curious but no capacity
resources
235 | what autistic burnout feels like from the inside with patrick casale (part 2)
mercredi 14 octobre 2026 • Durée 39:40
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
this episode is part 2 of our autistic burnout series.
dr. tay is joined by patrick casale, a neurodivergent therapist, podcaster, entrepreneur, and group practice owner, for a conversation about what autistic burnout can feel like .
patrick shares his lived experience with burnout, the overlap between autistic burnout and chronic illness, the impact of societal demands, and why recovery is rarely as simple as “just reduce demands” or “take a break.”
this conversation offers both validation and practical insight for parents who are trying to better understand their child’s burnout, support recovery, and recognize early warning signs before the nervous system fully crashes.
you’ll hear about:
what autistic burnout can feel like
why burnout can overlap with chronic illness, sleep disruption, and mental health
how societal demands and sensory overwhelm contribute to depletion
why reducing demands is important, but not always simple or realistic
how joy, meaning, autonomy, and special interests can support recovery
what parents can look for when burnout may be approaching
timestamps
00:00 introduction to autistic burnout and guest
01:28 why conversations about burnout are increasing
02:44 overlap between chronic illness and autistic burnout
05:24 what autistic burnout looks like
07:12 complexity of supporting children in burnout
10:01 restructuring life to manage burnout
12:04 the impact of society and privilege
17:02 supporting children’s interests and joy
patrick’s journey to autism diagnosis
resources
234 | autistic burnout: what parents need to know (part 1)
mercredi 7 octobre 2026 • Durée 28:26
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
this episode kicks off a three-part series on autistic burnout.
dr. tay shares what she sees clinically when autistic kids are in burnout, why it can be so confusing for parents, and why traditional approaches to depression, behavior, or school refusal may not fully capture what is happening.
this is a primer episode to help you understand what autistic burnout can look like, what makes it different, and why recovery often requires time, nervous system repair, reduced demands, and support for the whole family.
you’ll hear about:
what autistic burnout can look like in kids
the three core features of autistic burnout
why burnout can overlap with anxiety, depression, PDA, and school refusal
why “just getting out and doing things” may not help during burnout
how recovery often happens slowly and incrementally
why your child is not trying to be difficult
timestamps
00:00 introducing the three-part autistic burnout series
03:25 what this series aims to offer parents
08:36 defining autistic burnout
10:20 skill regression, sensory overwhelm, and deep exhaustion
13:33 how autistic burnout can differ from depression
17:27 intro to burnout phases and what recovery can look like
21:47 recovery, lowering demands, and rebuilding capacity
26:05 closing reassurance and episode wrap-up
resources
⚡️ EVOLVE the membership — ongoing education, monthly masterclasses, and weekly Q+A support for parents of autistic kids
233 | when sensory is the missing piece behind meltdowns with laura petix
mercredi 30 septembre 2026 • Durée 45:15
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
if your child is melting down, resisting, avoiding, running, crashing, or seeming impossible to support, sensory may be part of the story.
in this episode, dr. tay welcomes laura petix, occupational therapist and author of The Sensory Code, back to the podcast to talk about sensory regulation, sensory profiles, meltdowns, and how parents can start building sensory support into daily life in a way that actually fits their child.
you’ll hear about:
why sensory regulation can be so impactful for autistic children
what parents may miss when they only focus on stopping the behavior
laura’s personal experience as an OT mom navigating intense meltdowns
why parent regulation matters, even when that advice feels frustrating
the 8 sensory systems and how to think about sensory “cups”
how The Sensory Code helps parents understand sensory profiles and daily supports
timestamps
00:00 introduction to sensory regulation in autism
02:02 why sensory supports are crucial for children
04:56 laura's personal journey as an OT mom
09:56 understanding sensory profiles and thresholds
14:59 supporting regulation through simple strategies
20:01 the power of mindset shifts in parenting
24:57 using sensory profiles to tailor activities
29:56 overview of The Sensory Code book
34:59 case study: tactile defensiveness and behavior
40:00 building a sensory lifestyle for daily support
resources
232 | your cycle might be impacting your parenting more than you realize
jeudi 17 septembre 2026 • Durée 34:41
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
this episode is for the moms who feel like some weeks they can do it all… and other weeks everything feels harder.
dr. tay shares a vulnerable, real-time reflection from the depths of her luteal phase and explains why cycle tracking can be such a powerful tool for understanding mood, energy, capacity, productivity, and parenting.
because your hormonal health is not separate from your autism parenting journey. your body, your nervous system, your capacity, and your regulation are all part of the ecosystem your child is living in.
you’ll hear about:
why the luteal phase can impact mood, energy, and capacity
how cycle tracking can help reduce shame and increase self-understanding
the connection between hormones, mental health, and neurodivergence
why parenting often requires so much “output” energy
how to adjust expectations, support, and routines around your cycle
why your capacity matters in the whole-family support picture
timestamps
00:00 why dr. tay is talking about her luteal phase on an autism podcast
04:16 what the luteal phase is and why cycle tracking matters
08:15 tracking mood and energy, and medication adjustments
16:46 what happens hormonally before your period
23:25 why the luteal phase is harder for some people
27:32 how this connects to parenting and capacity
31:32 adjusting expectations, support, and routines around your cycle
36:36 why this belongs in the autism parenting conversation
38:28 EVOLVE support and closing reflections
resources
⚡️ EVOLVE the membership — ongoing education, monthly masterclasses, and weekly Q+A support for parents of autistic kids
231 | when giftedness hides autism: understanding 2e kids with dr. megan helmen
jeudi 10 septembre 2026 • Durée 45:23
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
what does it mean for a child to be twice exceptional, or 2e?
in this episode, dr. tay is joined by dr. megan helmen, a pediatric neuropsychologist and founder of Developmental Discoveries, to talk about 2e profiles, giftedness, autism, and why these kids are so often misunderstood.
dr. megan explains how giftedness is not just “being smart,” but can involve a different way of thinking, processing, feeling, and moving through the world. when giftedness overlaps with autism, ADHD, learning disabilities, or other developmental differences, children may have areas of incredible strength alongside areas where they need significant support.
this conversation explores why 2e autistic children may be missed, how they use strengths to compensate, why school performance does not always tell the full story, and how parents can better understand and support their child’s unique brain.
in this episode, you'll hear:
what 2e, or twice exceptional, means
how giftedness and autism can overlap
why 2e autistic children are often missed or misunderstood
how high intelligence can mask support needs
why overall IQ scores may not capture the full picture
what “subtle but significant autism” can look like
how 2e kids may use compensation strategies in social situations
why hard things may feel easy and “easy” things may feel hard
the importance of including children in the feedback and diagnostic process
how to support 2e kids through strengths, accommodations, interests, and belonging
why parents of 2e children deserve compassion and grace
timestamps
00:00 introduction to 2e and guest background
01:47 dr. megan helmen's journey into neuropsychology
03:36 the shift towards neurodiversity affirming practices
07:12 what is 2e and how does it relate to autism
11:52 subtle presentations of autism in gifted children
resources
230 | birthday reflections: why I let you see the human side of this work
vendredi 28 août 2026 • Durée 41:25
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
oday’s episode is a little different.
on her birthday, dr. tay shares a more personal, behind-the-scenes reflection on life, work, mental health, medication, neurodiversity, intuition, advocacy, and what it means to show up as a full human while doing meaningful work.
this episode is an honest look at why dr. tay values letting you see the human side of her life and work—not as a polished, curated version, but as a real person navigating growth, self-support, business, advocacy, and the emotions that come with being deeply invested in this work.
you’ll hear about:
why dr. tay chooses to share the human side of this work
what happens when overthinking and perfectionism stop feeling helpful
how medication, therapy, and other supports can create more capacity
why understanding your own brain can change how you show up
the connection between neurodiversity-affirming care, advocacy, and human rights
what dr. tay is dreaming about next for her work and impact
timestamps
00:00 birthday reflections and showing the human side
04:00 authenticity, emotional capacity, and self-support
08:47 medication, mental health, and understanding your brain
16:38 intuition, signs, and trusting the process
21:21 business growth, impact, and accessibility dreams
27:48 neurodiversity, advocacy, and misinformation
36:31 personal growth, life updates, and what’s next
40:19 closing reflections and birthday request
resources
⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ — ongoing education, monthly masterclasses, and weekly Q+A support for parents of autistic kids
229 | when your autistic child holds it together at school and falls apart at home
jeudi 20 août 2026 • Durée 29:33
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
your child’s teacher says they had a great day.
they followed directions. they were kind. they were helpful. maybe the teacher even says they wish they had a whole classroom full of kids like yours.
and then your child gets home… and completely falls apart.
in this episode, dr. tay explores the after-school rebound effect, especially for high-masking autistic kids who appear fine at school but struggle intensely at home. she explains why this contrast can feel so confusing for parents, how masking and people-pleasing can hide a child’s distress during the school day, and why meltdowns, shutdowns, withdrawal, or school refusal at home are meaningful data.
you’ll also hear practical ways to support your child after school, including lowering demands, creating predictable recovery rituals, offering sensory regulation, and communicating with the school when your child’s nervous system is clearly carrying too much.
in this episode, you'll hear:
why some autistic kids look “fine” at school but fall apart at home
how masking, anxiety, rigidity, and people-pleasing can show up in school settings
why teacher reports may not tell the whole story
what meltdowns, shutdowns, withdrawal, and morning refusal may be communicating
how sensory overload, social demands, transitions, and executive functioning load can build throughout the day
why after-school questions, activities, homework, and transitions can all become demands
how to create a lower-demand after-school routine
ways to support recovery through food, water, quiet, sensory tools, movement, and predictability
when to communicate with the teacher or advocate for school-based accommodations
why home and school should be viewed as one connected ecosystem
timestamps
00:00 introduction to masking and its effects
02:08 common patterns in high-masking children
03:41 misdiagnosis and missed signs of masking
interpreting conflicting data from school and home
resources
228 | when should you push your autistic child… and when should you accommodate?
jeudi 13 août 2026 • Durée 26:22
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
this is one of the hardest questions for parents, especially during back-to-school season when routines are changing, anxiety may be higher, and your child’s capacity can shift quickly.
in this episode, dr. tay shares a practical framework she uses often with clinical families: is this a little hard or too hard?
you’ll learn how to recognize signs that something may be flooding your child’s nervous system, how to think about accommodations without over-accommodating, and why the goal is not to remove every challenge... but to help your child stay in that “little hard” zone where growth, confidence, and resilience can happen.
this framework applies to school transitions, anxiety, exposure work, leaving the house, after-school recovery, and everyday parenting decisions at home.
in this episode, you'll hear:
how to tell the difference between “a little hard” and “too hard”
why pushing too hard can flood your child’s nervous system
what shutdown, withdrawal, meltdowns, and rebound effects may be communicating
how accommodations can make something more accessible
why over-accommodation can unintentionally limit skill-building
how exposure work can be done in a neurodiversity-affirming way
why autonomy, agency, and trust matter when supporting anxiety
how to use small exposures to build confidence and capacity
why back-to-school transitions may require more support at first
how to introduce this language to your child over time
timestamps
00:00 introduction to the capacity framework for supporting kids
03:10 the chaos of back-to-school and resource creation
06:02 understanding “a little hard” vs. “too hard” in child tasks
07:26 supporting autistic kids in school and alternative settings
08:57 the role of exposure therapy and gradual challenges
gradual exposure and building autonomy in kids
resources
23:27 learning to communicate and trust building
24:17 phase three: re-emergence and thriving
39:53 deep rest and recognizing signs of exhaustion
⚡️ The Parent's Handbook for Kids in Burnout by amanda diekman — a low-demand guide to understanding burnout, supporting recovery, navigating the different phases, and helping your child heal and thrive
⚡️ other episodes to listen to include amanda's previous episode (113), episode 204, and parts 1 and 2 of this series (234 & 235)
⚡️ EVOLVE the membership — ongoing education, monthly masterclasses, and weekly Q+A support for parents of autistic kids
⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes reflections, and parenting insights
21:10
23:48 transitioning to a therapist and entrepreneur
26:16 running a neurodivergent-led practice
33:28 recognizing and responding to burnout signs
36:04 balancing demands and building capacity
37:19 final thoughts and glimmers of hope
⚡️ patrick casale’s linktree — connect with patrick, his podcasts, social media, and clinical/business resources
⚡️ Resilient Mind Counseling — Patrick’s neurodivergent-led therapy practice serving clients in North Carolina
⚡️ episode 183 — a related episode on co-occurring health conditions that can overlap with neurodivergence, including chronic illness patterns discussed in this conversation
⚡️ listen to part 1 of this series (episode 234) and stay tuned for part 3 with amanda diekman on how to support your autistic child through burnout
⚡️ EVOLVE the membership — ongoing education, monthly masterclasses, and weekly Q+A support for parents of autistic kids
⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes reflections, and parenting insights
⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes reflections, and parenting insights
⚡️ The Sensory Code by laura petix — learn more about the book, sensory profiles, and pre-order bonuses
⚡️ EVOLVE the membership — ongoing education, monthly masterclasses, and weekly Q+A support for parents of autistic kids
⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes reflections, and parenting insights
⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes reflections, and parenting insights
16:09 compensation strategies in 2e autistic kids
22:32 IQ and the profile of 2e individuals
26:24 differentiating giftedness from autism
35:36 supporting 2e children in navigating the world
42:36 parenting tips and final thoughts
⚡️ Developmental Discoveries — learn more about dr. megan helmen’s neuropsychological assessment practice as well as resources for 2e kids. also follow on Instagram and Facebook
⚡️ Autism Traits Guide — a $7 parent-friendly resource that breaks down autism diagnostic criteria, including subtle profiles, and shares examples of how traits can show up across ages, support needs, and presentations
⚡️ EVOLVE the membership — includes the “talking to your kid about their diagnosis” masterclass, along with monthly trainings, weekly Q+A episodes, and ongoing support for parents of autistic kids
⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education and parenting insights
⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes reflections, and parenting insights
05:02
06:19 understanding the rebound effect and child's internal state
07:22 the role of anxiety, rigidity, and compliance
10:14 environmental overstimulation and sensory challenges
12:03 the significance of the child's emotional bucket
13:09 immediate strategies to support children at home
14:56 reducing demands and supporting regulation
17:29 building routines and sensory regulation tools
20:12 advocating for your child's needs in school
21:11 creating a holistic support system across environments
23:11 the importance of recognizing child's effort and regulation needs
24:06 considering mental health days and self-care
25:54 resources and support for back-to-school transition
⚡️ Small Things, Smooth School Year Masterclass — a back-to-school masterclass to help you prepare for the school year, communicate with your child’s teacher, and create proactive supports
⚡️ School Avoidance Masterclass — available inside EVOLVE the membership (sign up here) for parents navigating school avoidance, refusal, or difficulty accessing school. includes monthly masterclasses, weekly Q+A, and ongoing educational support for parents of autistic kids hosted on a private podcast feed
⚡️ episode 228: when should you push your autistic child… and when should you accommodate? — learn how to tell whether something is too hard, a little hard, or not hard enough, and how to balance accommodation with gentle challenge
⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, parenting insights, and back-to-school support
10:37
13:12 resources and masterclasses for school support
14:40 practical examples of exposure at home
17:07 balancing accommodation and challenge in support strategies
19:22 tapering accommodations and supporting capacity growth
20:51 using parental intuition to gauge hardness levels
21:52 encouraging communication and self-awareness in kids
22:48 summary and resources for back-to-school support
⚡️ Small Things, Smooth School Year Masterclass — a back-to-school masterclass to help you prepare for the school year, communicate with your child’s teacher, and create proactive supports
⚡️ School Avoidance Masterclass — available inside EVOLVE the membership (sign up here) for parents navigating school avoidance, refusal, or difficulty accessing school. includes monthly masterclasses, weekly Q+A, and ongoing educational support for parents of autistic kids hosted on a private podcast feed
⚡️ episode 196 and 204are additional resources for this episode
⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, parenting insights, and back-to-school support
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