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November and December are historically slower months for divorce professionals. Even though they’ve made the decision to divorce, many people choose to wait until after the holidays to take any action. They worry about starting something that could instigate conflict during what should be the happiest time of the year for their kids.
That means there is a lot of pent up demand and so divorce professionals historically see an uptick in requests for their services in January. So much so that January is recognized as Divorce Month. And even more specifically, the first business day in January is usually referred to as National Divorce Day as family lawyers report that their phones ring off the hook.
We’ve also talked about the efforts to begin repealing no-fault divorce laws and we would expect that anyone who’s been holding off may choose to move ahead now before any legislation could affect their ability to get divorced. So as a divorce coach, now is the perfect opportunity to position yourself as the go-to expert for those in need.
In today’s episode, we share some essential tips on how you can prepare for Divorce Month, optimize your marketing, and make sure your practice is ready to meet the demand.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
At DCA, we share a vision that couples would have the ability to rearrange and restructure their relationships and their families in a way that leads to wholeness and happiness. Divorce is often seen as an end—an ending to a marriage, an ending to a chapter of life. But what if it didn’t have to be a painful, adversarial process? What if divorce could be approached with intention, healing, and collaboration, with the goal of not just separating, but rebuilding lives in a healthy, sustainable way?
In today’s episode, we explore the idea of restorative divorce—an approach that focuses on healing, mutual respect, and long-term well-being for both partners. We’ll dive into how this process works, how it differs from adversarial divorce, and why we believe it’s a better way forward.
We wrestle with the concept that divorce creates a broken home, discuss the recent addition of CAPRD (Child Affected by Parental Relationship Disorder) to the DSM IV, and outline the six elements of a restorative divorce process.
As opposed to traditional divorce that focuses on winning, a restorative divorce process is an alternative that can reduce harm, encourage positive outcomes, and support healthier post-divorce relationships for everyone involved.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Good storytelling is a powerful tool for creating connection, building trust, and communicating ideas and concepts. However, when it comes to divorce coaching, storytelling can be a mixed bag. And a common mistake we see coaches make is oversharing about their own personal experiences.
In this episode, we discuss when and how it is appropriate to share personal stories with clients. While it’s well-intentioned, it’s also important to be mindful about when and how we share personal stories with clients.
Our words of caution...there are two ways storytelling can muddy the waters when it comes to our coaching relationships. First, sharing too much from our personal lives can take the focus off the client and put the spotlight back on the coach. And second, clients look to us as the expert so those stories might be interpreted as directive or advice giving.
Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk about why intention matters when it comes to storytelling in divorce coaching.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Do you secretly struggle with imposter syndrome? Maybe you don't recognize it as that, but it can show up in sneaky ways that prevent coaches from stepping into their full potential. In today's episode, we talk about the many ways we see imposter syndrome present in new coaches and what you can do to see it and challenge it.
We work with coaches all the time on their failure to close consult calls, agonizing over pricing and packages, taking on too much pro bono work, having porous boundaries with clients or being afraid to follow up. It also looks like perfectionism, analysis paralysis, or taking training after training to feel good enough. Imposter syndrome sounds like "I don't feel like I should", "I don't feel like I can", and "I don't feel like I'm ready".
It all boils down to the question "Am I good enough?" And when coaches struggle with that self-doubt, they become a barrier to their own success. But it can be overcome by looking at ourselves realistically and then addressing what needs to be changed.
First things first. There is no wrong way to be you. Second, let's acknowledge that you are a pioneer - you are forging a new path in a profession that is relatively new. There's no clear roadmap for you to follow or measuring stick to assure you that you're "doing it right". The good news is that gives you the freedom to do it your way.
One of the keys to clearing out that self-doubt is a supportive, encouraging community with professional mentoring. A place like our Case Consultation & Mastermind Group where we can help you reflect, correct, and gain the confidence you need to get out there and reach for your goals.
If any of this is resonating with you, we encourage you to join our community and let us help you kick imposter syndrome to the curb.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
In this week's episode, Debra is joined by recent DCA™ Divorce Conflict Coaching graduates Dori Braddell and Sue Horwitz to talk about their experience in the training and how they've been able to put their new skills to use.
Dori and Sue were gracious enough to take time out of their busy schedules to discuss how they had been struggling with helping clients manage conflict, what prompted them to enroll in the course, and the biggest takeaways they got from the experience.
Both are certified divorce coaches who have significant training and experience under their belts, and yet, they were missing the science behind conflict, the specific tools to use with clients, and the confidence to lean in.
Listen in as they share what a difference conflict coaching has made in their coaching practice and for their clients. We hope you'll consider adding this speciality training to your 2023 professional development calendar.
If you'd like to be the first to know when the next session of DCA™ Divorce Conflict Coaching opens, join the wait list today.
Feel free to reach out to Dori or Sue to ask them ALL the questions about their experience in the class. Trust us, they're believers!
Today on the podcast we're doing some myth busting. If you think you're bad at math or have been afraid to dive into divorce financial matters with your clients, then keep listening. We're going to give you the confidence to jump into the deep end.
Of course financial professionals provide a ton of value in divorce and they serve a necessary role. Nobody wants amateurs valuing a business or valuing a pension, doing forensic or fraud investigation, or providing tax advice. BUT, and it's a big but ... there is so much you CAN do with clients to help them make good decisions.
That's why we're offering the Financial Foundations from a CDFA 4-week course starting in January 2023. To give you the information, tools, and even spreadsheets you need to do this foundational work with clients.
So many clients show up with $$$ fears - are they going to have enough? This is an answerable question starting with the client's budget. First their divorce budget - how much do they want to spend on their divorce, how much do they have available, and what process and what decisions would they have to choose to stay within that amount? And next, their monthly budget. What are their cash flow needs. You can work to help them identify both of these. You can also help them document their assets and debts and begin to create proposals that address their needs.
And when an outside financial professional is needed, you'll work with your client to determine who they want to hire and the scope of work they want to have done.
There's no need to punt all the financial work to the pros when you've got a CDFA to show you how to do it!
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Did you know that, at least in the US, the first business day in January is known as "National Divorce Day"? That's because historically that's the day that family law attorneys get the most inquiries from people thinking about starting the divorce process.
There are many reasons January is the heaviest month for divorce filings. It might be that it's a new year and they can't imagine spending yet another year in that unfulfilling marriage. Or perhaps the stress of the holidays put them over the edge. Or they made a decision months ago and have just been hanging on until the holidays are over and the kids are back in school.
Whatever the reason, we want you to be thinking about how you are preparing right now for the increase in potential clients.
We know that divorce coaches can be extremely helpful and effective when brought in at the very beginning - before that client hires an attorney. So how are you using your marketing language to help potential clients understand that value? What are you posting on social media? What are you saying when people ask what you do?
The current economic climate is a perfect opportunity to talk about saving money on divorce. Most people are seeing a hit to their property values, investments, and retirement accounts so there is even less to divide now. As a divorce coach, how are you communicating the benefits you offer in helping them choose a less expensive process, make better decisions, and manage emotions - all of which reduce their costs.
If you want to build your practice in 2023, we urge you to intentionally get ready for National Divorce Day.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
You had your own divorce experience and felt called to become a professional divorce coach to support others through the process so they could have what you needed. We applaud you for wanting to make divorce different for others. But in this week's episode, we are telling a cautionary tale to remind everyone of the importance of coaching from our scar, and not from our wound.
When coaches aren't able to set aside their own personal divorce experience, it's much more likely they will hear the client through their personal filter and step out of neutrality. We begin to hear phrases like "you should" that indicate the coach is putting on their superhero cape and trying to save the client rather than asking the curious questions that allow the client to self-discover.
We're inviting you this week to reflect, to look closely in the mirror, and examine if there is anything clouding your vision. Do you find yourself having strong emotional reactions or getting triggered? Do you hear yourself making recommendations instead of asking questions? Are you feeling the urge to save your client from making a mistake that you made? Are you making assumptions about their spouse or their situation based on your experience?
If so, we encourage you to spend some time processing that and identifying where you might still need to do some healing. We also encourage you to join our Case Consultation & Mastermind Group - it's a safe space for you to get feedback to explore if your vision is clear or cloudy.
Absolutely, use your divorce experience - it adds great value to your coaching practice. Just be sure your wound is healed so you don't bleed on your clients.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Being a solopreneur as a divorce coach is hard. but we don't want you to feel like you have to do it alone. In this week's episode, Tracy and Debra talk about why they believe every coach should have a community.
According to an ICF (International Coaching Federation) study, 4 out of 5 coaches fail. We find that shocking and are committed to doing everything we can to insure that those statistics do not apply to divorce coaches. That's why we established the Case Consultation & Mastermind Group and frankly, we don't understand why more coaches aren't taking advantage of it.
Therapists are required to have some sort of clinical supervision on an ongoing basis to insure 1) standards of practice are being met and 2) self-care and professional growth are being prioritized. Why should the "helping profession" of coaching be any different?
Divorce coaches are entrusted with helping clients make some of the most important decisions of their lives and the work we do often involves a ton of heavy stuff. Who is supporting you when you feel overwhelmed by the weight of it? Where is the community you can go to for refreshment, new ideas, encouragement? Who helps when you aren't getting the financial results or client success you hoped for?
We urge you to consider joining us. We don't want you to burn out or give up. We want to offer the professional, supportive environment you need to keep going and keep advancing. You really don't have to do this alone - we have a village just waiting for you.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Bring on the haters, but we're gonna say it. We don't recommend attorneys or other divorce professionals to clients. And we think it's risky business for coaches to do it.
In this week's episode, Tracy and Debra chat about the reasons they don't share lists of recommended professionals with clients. Aside from the fact that both of them work nationally and internationally, it's not a practice they employ with local clients either.
The number one reason is because it takes away the client's agency. It strips them of the power to make their own divorce decisions. Coaching is about helping the client self-discover what they want and what they need, so why would choosing an attorney or a CDFA be any different?
Often clients come to us feeling overwhelmed, uniformed, and anxious about what to do next. We add the most value to helping them explore their fears, prioritize their needs, and determine what information they need. If they decide they need some outside expertise, we can best support them by identifying the interview questions they need to ask to determine if a given professional is the best fit for them. Then after those interviews, we can process what they learned so they can make the right choice for themselves.
One of the risks we run when recommending or referring is that we can't know who is fit for an individual client. Just because a previous client had a good experience doesn't mean that this client will. And if they don't? Now you're in the hot seat. And that's not good for your coaching relationship or your business.
Your best bet is to stick with coaching rule #1 - Ask, Don't Tell. Use your powerful questioning skills rather than giving your client a list. You'll be protected and it will serve your client better in the long run as they gain confidence to make their own decisions.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Last week we talked in some detail about the importance of having a signed coaching agreement in place with clients. This week we expand upon that by diving into the topic of professional boundaries - those necessary limits we must set to protect ourselves, our businesses, and our mental health.
Let's begin with the whole idea of professional expectations. Every business has policies and procedures that outline the who, what, how much, and when of the relationship. Do you expect your doctor, who sees hundreds of patients, to disregard his or her office policies for you? We're guessing you don't. You accept those boundaries because you respect their time and their expertise as a professional.
Boundaries are simply teaching people how to treat us. One of the first rules of boundary work is identifying where we are violating our own boundaries. When we are feeling resentful, put upon, take advantage of, or angry ... it's time to evaluate if a boundary is missing or an existing boundary is ineffective.
If a consult call is scheduled for 30 minutes but it goes for an hour, you need to own that you are allowing that. Same goes for session times. If you're late to the next client because the previous client ran over, that's affecting your business. If you find this is happening, re-evaluate what action you need to take to end those calls on time.
Other common situations include cancellations, reschedules, and requests for out-of-session text, phone or email support. What policies are set out in your coaching agreement and are you executing those consistently? If your agreement says that clients get one cancellation with less than 24 hours notice before they are charged and you let a client cancel last minute 3 or 4 times without charging them, you need to ask yourself what is preventing you from following through on that policy?
We encourage you to be intentional about your policies. Take time to review what's working for you, what's not, and what's missing. Then update your agreement accordingly and be consistent in protecting your own professional boundaries.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Are you tempted to skip the paperwork and start working with a client before you have a signed coaching agreement in place? In today's episode, Tracy and Debra discuss the importance of those coaching agreements for your practice and your protection.
First things first. Professionals require agreements or contracts before they commence work - attorneys, mediators, contractors, doctors, massage therapists - all require us to sign some kind of agreement that outlines the rules of engagement. If we want to be seen as professional, why would we provide services without an agreement (or payment)?
An agreement is critical to making sure you and your client both clearly understand the expectations within your coaching relationship. Providing details about services and confidentiality can increase client confidence and trust in you. But you aren't just helping people through their divorce, you're running a business. And your business deserves protection, so be thorough about defining the limitations of your coaching and don't forget those financial boundaries.
Ok, it's important, but what should your agreement include? Here are some of the components we review in today's episode:
Roles and responsibilities of the coach and the client
Services included
Payment policy
Cancellation policy
Refund policy
Confidentiality
Indemnification
Whether you choose an automated solution like Debra or a more manual one like Tracy, we encourage you to create an agreement that works for you and set that professional boundary that work does not commence until a signed agreement is in place.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Catchy title, huh? This week we're not discussing the pros and cons of whether you and your clients use colorful language in session, we are talking about being mindful of the language we use and the impact it can have on the coaching experience for clients.
One of the main goals of coaching is to help your client self-discover their own goals and priorities so they can make decisions that are right for them. They likely have a lot of people around them telling them what to do. When we use phrases like "I think", "I believe", or "You should", we become just another one of those voices. It takes the spotlight off of them and puts it on you as the authority. Resist the urge to tell, and reframe those as powerful questions to help the client determine their own path.
In the interest of showing empathy, we often hear coaches say "I understand". And while that may seem validating, we run the risk of minimizing their unique feelings and experiences when we say that. Clients want to feel heard and understood, but they also want to feel special. We challenge you to find ways to validate them and say "I hear you" while respecting that no one else (even if you've had a similar experience) feels what they feel.
And finally, let's avoid making promises we may not be able to keep. While it's tempting to want to reassure clients with "It's going to be OK" or "You're going to be fine", we don't know that we can deliver that. And your definition of "OK" may be very different from your client's. It is much more accurate to say that you'll be with them on every step of the way or you'll be their biggest supporter and encourager.
Next time you're in session, be mindful of these and other phrases that could negatively affect your client's ability to get the most value of your relationship.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
In this week's episode, we're exploring why empathy is so challenging in the context of divorce, why it's a key factor in conflict resolution and negotiation, and what can be done to foster it.
One of the primary reasons empathy is so challenging during divorce and co-parenting is the intensity of emotions involved. Big feelings like anger, betrayal, resentment, injustice and more can invoke our natural instinct is to protect ourselves.
Also, the legal process and the adversarial nature of divorce proceedings can create an environment of competition rather than cooperation where any show of empathy might be seen as weakness.
Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk about the role of empathy in divorce and the 7 tools we can use to effectively use empathy strategically to improve outcomes for families.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
One of the hardest parts of divorce for any parent is the idea of losing time with their children. In this episode, we discuss how divorce coaches can help clients process some of the obstacles that get in the way of crafting parenting plans that focus on the needs of the children instead of the needs of the parents to maintain their identity.
Navigating timesharing and decision making can tough issues when it comes to designing a parenting plan. Neither parent wants to feel as if they're being delegated to take a back seat in their child's life When parents feel that the role they've played is being threatened, emotions run high and negotiations stall.
Our job as divorce coaches is to help our clients shift their mindset and understand that their status or position as "mom" or "dad" is not defined by the percentage of time the children spend with them. Their status as a parent is irrefutable and unchanging. Their ability to be the "math homework helper" or "boyfriend breakup counselor" or "soccer team cheerleader" is not altered by a calendar.
The child's perception of their parent's identity has not changed. Children do not see their moms or dads differently because they are not physically present. The only thing that will cause a child to view their parent otherwise is a parents' own actions. Gatekeeping behaviors like making disparaging comments or restricting access can confuse children about parental roles - timesharing does not.
The big question we can help clients answer is: "Am I making this about me or am I making it about my child?" This isn't easy work. Holding up a mirror to help clients see and move past their identity threats requires a lot of affirmation and validation. And it requires helping them shift from seeing it as a loss of identity to an opportunity to expand their identity.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Marketing isn't just about getting your name out there in front of potential clients. You also need to make some big decisions about what products you're selling and for how much. In this week's episode, Tracy and Debra talk through some of the factors to consider when you are putting together your programs, packages, and pricing.
First things first...and that means speaking to your client's problem, their pain point. What are they struggling with and how can you help? Listen to the episode "You're a What? How to Effectively Describe What You Do As a Divorce Coach" for some tips on how to craft the specific language you can use to speak directly to your audience. These "problems" are the basis for your programs - or the types of services you offer.
Next, you'll need to decide what kind of commitment you're asking from your client - these are your packages. Because coaching is relationship based and action oriented, most coaches find that offering single sessions doesn't get the client results they're looking for. They prefer 3, 6 or 8 session packages. This allows for trust building, feedback loops, and real transformation. It also allows enough time to develop traction and results that keep the client engaged for a longer term.
Finally, there's pricing. Your individual pricing may be driven by a number of things, but primarily we find that geography and level of service are the primary considerations. If attorneys in your area charge $500/hr, then you may be able to charge more than someone who lives where attorney rates are $200/hr. And are you offering concierge level service where you are accessible at all times and for unlimited calls and texts or do you limit yourself to session times? You'll want to price accordingly and explain that to your clients.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
We know the best way to help children in divorce is to insure an ongoing, stable, loving relationship with both parents. But in reality, that's not always easy for our clients. Co-parenting can be a nightmare. Today, we discuss how, as divorce coaches, we can support our clients shift in mindset to be able to communicate effectively and shield their kids from the conflict.
Sometimes the hardest transition is parents moving from being stakeholders in each other's lives as a married couple to business partners whose only concern is their children. Restructuring that relationship can take some time. We can help clients identify other times in their lives when they've had to forge an effective working relationship with someone they didn't like. How were they able to do and how can they use those skills and strategies to manage their new co-parenting relationship?
We can also hold a mirror up and ask our client to examine if any of their behaviors are contributing the the trouble. In other words, are they failing to check their own sh&t? One person absolutely has the ability to create a shift in the relationship dynamic and if your client is throwing fuel on the fire, then they need to have some accountability for that.
And don't forget to spread hope. Hope that everyone is in crisis right now, everything is uncertain. It's entirely possible that once the ink is dry on their agreement and things settle down, their co-parenting relationship may experience a shift as well. Sometimes a few months or a year makes a big difference.
The best news? Strategic communication is a skill that can be learned. Partner with your client to craft those effective BIFF responses. You'll be amazed at the transformation as they begin to write their own strategic responses and get to experience that peace and freedom. And help them understand the implications of failing to take a pause. When they react emotionally and fire off that nasty text or email, it could compromise their case.
Be sure to check out our Conflicted Co-Parent Divorce Coach Training Intensive if you're interested in adding this specialty to your divorce coaching practice.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Are you a relatively new divorce coach and wondering when the money going to start coming in? How long does it really take to start making a living at this? In this week's episode, Tracy and Debra give you the unvarnished truth about what (and how long) it really takes to get a successful divorce coaching practice up and going.
As a solopreneur, how do you know what's normal? If you look at Instagram and TikTok, it might seem like every coach is making $10k a month within their first 90 days. We're here to tell you that's a bunch of BS. It's not you - you are not failing.
Realistically, a new business venture takes 18-24 months to get to the point where it is profitable enough to be paying your (reasonable) monthly bills. And that's if you're putting in a significant amount of effort. If you're pursuing it as a side gig, extend that timeline quite a bit.
And, remember, you're not just starting a new business, you're starting a new business in a new profession. If you say you're a carpenter, everyone understands what you do. A divorce coach? Not so much. Check out our episode You're a What? How to Effectively Describe What You Do As a Divorce Coach for some tips on how to talk about our profession.
Business planning is critical. What timeframe have you allowed yourself? What income targets have you set? Are you targets reasonable - have you considered taxes and expenses? Are you having enough conversations?
Pro bono coaching is awesome - we love that you're doing that. I's a great way to get experience and put some raving fans out there in the world. But when is it time to move them into paid status? Resist imposter syndrome and the temptation to undervalue yourself. And finally, throwing more money at other "experts" like business and social media coaches who don't know our niche isn't likely to accelerate this business building process - it's just going to leave you with the same frustrations and less money in the bank.
We believe in you and your ability to achieve financial success divorce coach. We can help.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
According to social media, just about everyone is divorcing a narcissist. And you may be hearing this from your clients. In this week's episode, we talk about why it's important to work with clients to drop the label and focus on strategy.
NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) is fairly rare, but if we look at the diagnostic criteria, we can see a ton of overlap between NPD and the self-interested behaviors we see from scared, angry people going through divorce. What we call "good people behaving badly".
Regardless of whether your client is divorcing someone with NPD, someone who's a total jerk, or someone who's just really angry right now, the truth is that they have a choice to make. They can obsess over their spouse's bad behavior or they can turn their attention to what they do have control over. They also have a choice as to whether they show up with a can of gasoline and some matches or they show up with a fire extinguisher.
By focusing on the label of "narcissist", clients can set themselves up for a couple of problems. First, they may create unrealistic expectations that proving "narcissism" will create an outcome in their favor. You all know from experience, that it isn't labels or diagnoses that impact parenting plans or property settlements, it is evidence of behaviors. So help them shift to strategy and create documentation rather than trying to prove that their spouse is a jerk.
Second, continuing to use that label of "narcissist" can allow our clients to perpetuate the story that something is happening "to" them and it leaves them feeling helpless, hopeless, and powerless. Instead, let's help them focus on the strategies of protect and respond. Use the legal system to get agreements and orders to protect themselves AND be prepared to respond in a way that saves their sanity if their spouse or ex continues to behave badly.
If your client is divorcing one of these HCP's (high conflict personalities), you can also help them head off future conflicts by using powerful questioning to identify specific details they might want to include in their divorce agreements to eliminate ambiguity.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
This week we want to encourage you to talk money with your clients. Financial professionals (like CDFA's, CPA's, and forensic accountants) certainly play a role in divorce, but as a divorce coach, we don't want you to be afraid to dive into the topic too.
It doesn't matter if calculators make you nervous or you failed high school algebra, you can provide a lot of value working with your client on at least these 2 things: 1) their divorce budget and 2) their post-divorce budget.
We know you're already talking with clients about the options available to them for ending their marriages (pro se, mediation, litigation, etc...), but are you discussing how much money they want to spend ? A divorce budget is simply being intentional about choosing a process and making decisions that don't put your client in difficult position after divorce. You're simply asking them to consider where they will get the money and how it will affect their future well-being if they spend $20k, $50k, or $100k in legal fees.
Next, you are MORE than qualified to start helping them tackle the idea of a post-divorce budget. In other words, how much is it going to cost them on a monthly basis to live on their own? Where will they live? Can they qualify to refinance the house and afford all the associated expenses? How much will health insurance be? This work shouldn't be put off because it is an important filter through which your client will be making divorce decisions like:
Whether to keep the house
How much spousal support they need
If they need to work and much they need to earn
If trading retirement assets or investment accounts makes sense
As their case progresses, there may be a need to add a financial professional to the team, but don't shy away from starting these discussions with your client. There's a lot of good reality testing that can happen here.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
What's a divorce coach? How you answer that question is important for 2 reasons. It's an opportunity to advocate for the profession and you have the chance to do some grassroots marketing. In today's episode, Tracy and Debra dive into the specifics of how you can answer this in a concise and impactful way.
Professional divorce coaches work with clients along a big continuum and provide so many benefits, it might feel hard to answer this question without rambling on and on. But remember, the person on the receiving end probably doesn't want to drink from a firehose. Give them a 15 second elevator pitch version - an appetizer so to speak - and then see if they ask for more.
Debra offers a template you can use to craft your own elevator pitch. You may want to create a few different versions depending on whether you are talking with an attorney, a soccer mom, or a local businessperson. Speaking with targeted language will help your listener connect and get your message heard.
The first 15 seconds of your answer to the question "what's a divorce coach?" are critical to advocating for the profession and planting the seed for future sales. Be intentional about what you say and how you say it.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Do you feel pressured to be all over social media? Are you spending hours designing posts, creating reels, and trying to gain followers? Do you love it or do you avoid it like the plague?
In today's episode, we talk about the phenomena of social media and how divorce coaches can make smart choices around their use of social media as a business strategy. The keyword here is strategy and we encourage coaches to be clear on the reason behind their use of social media. There are many reasons you might choose to have a social media presence including:
Credibility
Brand awareness
Community engagement
Lead generation
Product sales
Once you're clear on the purpose (strategy) behind your social media, the next key is to track your metrics to be sure you're achieving your goals. Debra shares a favorite quote by Lori Taylor "Fans are vanity, but sales are sanity". If you have 10k followers, but aren't booking any clients, is that a successful strategy? Is it worth the time and effort you spend every week?
What if you hate social media? Then don't do it! There are many successful divorce coaches in the space who have no social media presence - they are finding their clients through grassroots marketing efforts. Check out the episode Making Your First $10k: Relationships and Referrals for more on this powerful strategy.
Social media can be one tool in your marketing arsenal, but as with all marketing strategies, your goal should be to use it with intention.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Divorce coaching is still a relatively new profession and today Tracy and Debra talk about what you can do on an individual level to help spread the word about the value we add for clients going through the divorce process.
It all starts with professionalism in your individual practice and insuring that each and every client has a great experience with you. Next step is talking about what you do in your local community and don't underestimate the power of that elevator speech. Being able to accurately describe what you do in a couple of short, impactful sentences goes a long way with people you meet.
Then there are the State and National organizations like the ABA, APFM, AFCC, IDFA and others where divorce professionals gather. They offer conferences, continuing education, and presenting and writing opportunities. And finally, mentoring new divorce coaches is another way to invest in the future of the profession.
Individual Practice Standards
Community Involvement
State Organization Connections
National Organization Membership
Continuing Professional Education
Mentoring
However, let's not overlook the importance of mindset when it comes to advocacy work. You must have the confidence to speak up, the belief that you deserve a seat at the table. When you are operating as a professional and are committed divorce coaching as a credible profession in the divorce space, then you'll be ready to start your own advocacy campaign.
We invite you to join us on the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays for our Case Consultation & Mastermind Group if you'd like to brainstorm ideas or get some encouragement.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
We are thrilled to bring you another coach spotlight interview today with fellow CDC Ashley Wood, also known as The Conscious CoParent.
Ashley Wood is a CDC Certified Divorce Coach® in service to parents who feel overwhelmed by divorce, hopeless about co-parenting, and concerned about how living in two homes may impact their children. As a coach Ashley helps parents regain a clear sense of direction, reduce conflict with their former partner and support their children’s growth and resilience through all of the challenges and changes associated with family restructuring.
Ashley says a common question she gets from clients is whether they should be co-parenting or parallel parenting. She encourages them to take a step back and examine their own needs, their own best self/core values, and how they want to model resilience to their children.
She and Tracy talk about how the foundation of divorce coaching and the concept of exploring our best selves is so critical when it comes to making it through all the big changes that divorce and co-parenting require of us. Ashley reminds us that children's ability to be resilient and make it through this process are based on 3 main factors:
1) The parent's ability to support a healthy relationship with the other parent 2) The parent's ability to reduce the child's exposure to conflict 3) The parent's ability to focus on their own parenting skills
While we can work with our clients to communicate effectively with BIFF or EAR statements, the bottom line is that we cannot control anything our co-parent does or doesn't do. We can help our clients continue live well and be the best parents they can be regardless of how the other parent behaves.
Work with clients to prioritize their own needs, establish boundaries, and let go of the need for control - these are the keys to a post divorce life of peace for themselves and their children.
You can find Ashley at the following links:
Website: www.ashleywooddivorcecoach.com Social Media (IG, TikTok, FB etc.) @theconsciouscoparent Podcast: Split. The After Ever After Podcast FREE Support Group via Circles App: The Conscious CoParent Connection
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
We're launching customized curriculum for Canada next month! And we're excited for you to get to know our Canadian Director, Dori Braddell.
Dori is a highly successful divorce coach who specializes in conflicted and complicated divorce and co-parenting situations. She originally received her certification through the CDC and has continued to pursue continuing education with DCA as a Certified ADR Divorce Coach, Divorce Conflict Coach, and Conflicted Co-Parenting Divorce Coach.
Listen in as Tracy and Dori talk about the rise of divorce coaching in Canada and why it's important for Canadian coaches to get certified in a program that is tailored to the laws, customs, processes, and resources of their home country.
The first Canadian cohort will begin the week of October 13 and applications are now being accepted.
Go to divorcecoachesacademy.com/divorcecoach and schedule a call with Dori today to learn more about DCA's Canada specific training program.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Interpersonal conflict is a part of our everyday lives, but divorce can magnify any conflict that already existed in the marriage. Tracy refers to divorce as a conflict petri dish.
In today's episode, we talk about how getting additional training to become a conflict resolution expert can provide your clients with even more tools and skills to manage conflict during divorce and beyond.
Families spend an exorbitant amount of money on divorce because the process is unfamiliar (read scary) and they don't have the skills necessary to engage in productive conflict and negotiation. We believe highly skilled divorce coaches can change that.
Although most divorce coach training programs introduce the concepts of conflict resolution, our 6-week DCA™ Divorce Conflict Coach training offers the next level of expertise you need to truly help clients make that shift. Debra gives a sneak peek into the upcoming class by sharing some of the goals for working with clients in conflict and a few of the characters you'll meet in class (you'll love Raging Regina, Clueless Carl and the rest of the bunch).
The next session begins August 25 and we hope you'll consider adding this specialty to your divorce coaching practice. You'll get some cool letters after your name and your clients will get better outcomes. And those are both good for your business.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
First impressions matter and it's never more important than when you're onboarding a new client. Once you've had that consult call and the client says "yes", the next experiences they have with you set the tone for the rest of your coaching relationship.
Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk through the 5 critical steps that create a foundation for a smooth and professional relationship with clients. Whether you use a coaching platform, a scheduling system, or prefer a more manual approach, having a standard, repeatable process means a hassle-free experience for both you and your clients.
We also discuss the idea that professional expectations beget professional respect. Maintaining good boundaries with clients enables them to take responsibility for their own coaching results. We are not in the business of doing the work for clients, but offering an environment where they are invited to be self-directed and take control of their own process.
As professionals in the divorce space, divorce coaches want to be seen as credible, valuable team members - and a professional client experience helps build that reputation. If you haven't taken the time to up-level your client onboarding process, we encourage you take some tips from today's episode. Both you and your clients will benefit.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
We're excited to bring you another spotlight coach interview with our CDC colleague Cindy Stibbard.
Cindy is the driven and compassionate entrepreneur and CEO behind Divorce ReDefined, her Vancouver-based separation and divorce coaching practice. After going through her own high-conflict divorce, this passionate and determined mother of two, became inspired to help others successfully navigate this difficult time in their lives. As a Certified Divorce Coach® and Certified Divorce Specialist, and trained Relationship Discernment/Decision Coach, Cindy created her unique practice to help people on an international level through every stage of their divorce.
Cindy was gracious enough to spend some time with Debra to chat about how divorce coaches play a key role in helping those going through divorce choose the right professionals for their team.
We talked about how the divorce coach is the most underrated player in divorce today. Cindy uses the analogy of a concierge to describe how a coach works as the single go-to person who helps clients find the resources and information they need to feel informed and in control.
Cindy and Debra examine why having the right professionals involved can set clients up for successful negotiation, good decision making, lower costs, better co-parenting relationships, and better outcomes.
Divorce coaches truly do play a critical role in helping clients build their professional dream team.
Today's discussion is all about how to start making money in your divorce coaching practice. We see far too many talented professionals ditch their dreams of achieving financial success and want to share some tips for hitting your first $10k without all the expense or heartache.
Being a great coach with impeccable coaching skills is one part of the equation, but if you're not selling to those you come in contact with in your daily life, you're missing out on the relationships and referral opportunities that can jumpstart your business.
Statistics show that 20% of small business fail within the first year (OUCH) and we don't want you to be a statistic!
Listen in as we share the four keys to accelerate making money in your business:
1. Share your elevator speech 2. Close consult calls 3. Nail the takeaway and celebrate results 4. Ask for the referral
As a professional divorce coach, you have the solution to your potential client's problem. Remember that by sharing that message (selling) you are making sure the client doesn't walk away with that problem still in their hands (helping).
DCA™ is committed to your success as a practicing, professional divorce coach and that means helping you reach your financial goals.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Tracy and Jennifer shared an intimate conversation about the role of professional divorce coaching, the inspiration behind Jennifer's book, her writing process, and why she believes having a framework can help couples make divorce less difficult.
Jennifer says her book is like "having a divorce coach in your pocket" and shares how emotional management and conflict resolution skills play such a big part in helping families experience a less traumatic divorce process and move forward more successfully.
Listen in as Tracy and Jennifer talk about the power of divorce coaching and reminisce back to the time when Tracy was Jennifer's mentor in the CDC program. The mutual admiration is an inspiration to all of us in the profession.
Did you know the family law/divorce lawyer industry revenue for 2022 is projected to be $12.1 billion dollars? OMG, that's a lot of money being spent on divorce.
On today's podcast, Tracy and Debra talk about the frustration that clients often experience with their attorneys and what you, as a professional divorce coach, can do to support your clients to have a more productive AND cost-effective relationship.
It seems the narrative out there is that the only way to divorce is to get an attorney, so that is the first step many clients take. In fact, the court system was not intended to be a family resolution process. So, they are expecting the legal system to solve a family problem.
In an ideal world, divorce coaches would be brought in at the very beginning. That would allow us to help them understand the process, explore all their divorce options and if they do choose to work with an attorney, assist them in identifying their needs and interview questions targeted to their specific case.
And once that relationship is established, we can provide enormous value in guiding the client to take charge of their own divorce, be a credible client, communicate effectively, and be assertive when the relationship isn't meeting their needs. We can also help them assess if they are contributing to the problems that exist or if they need to change counsel.
You have the opportunity and, we would argue, responsibility to consistently speak to potential clients through your marketing materials and in your consult calls about the benefits of making a divorce coach the first member of their team.
We can make a difference for families.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
As divorce coaches, we want our clients to have a better divorce experience. But when does that desire cross the line from supporting our client to feeling the need to save our client? Today's episode is a reminder that we serve our clients best when we stay neutral and allow them to choose their own path and make their own decisions.
We talk a little about the difference between sympathy and empathy and how sympathy pulls us into judgement, the need to give opinions, problem solving, and the urge to "save" clients from their own choices. While empathy allows us to feel what the client feels but still sit in the neutral, supportive space.
Are you tempted to put on your cape and be a superhero for your client? The simple statement "It's going to be OK" can be an indicator that you're stepping into that role. If you find yourself using phrases like "I think", "You need to", "You should", and "Have you considered" you may be trying to direct your client toward the solutions you think are best.
When we block our own curiosity, we block the client's opportunity to discover their own solutions. They're also left at the end of their divorce without knowing that they have the skills, power and agency to make good decisions going forward.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
It happens. You begin coaching a client and ... uh oh ... it's just not working. If you've ever struggled with the decision to end a client relationship, then this episode is just for you.
Today Tracy and Debra talk through the nuts and bolts of what to do when you begin to notice something is off, action isn't being taken, the client isn't a good fit, payment isn't forthcoming or something else has gone sideways in your coaching relationship.
Relationship is the key word here. Coaching is a relationship between us and the client, so all the same boundary and conflict resolution skills we would bring to any other relationship should apply here. Chances are if you aren't feeling it, your client isn't either. So use your curious questioning skills to identify what is getting in the way and help your client determine how they want to move forward. Often this open and honest dialogue will either get the work back on track or help the client self-identify that coaching with you isn't right for them right now. This allows you to bless them and send them off with resources, referrals, and love.
You have two powerful tools that can help you - your consult call and your coaching agreement. The consult call has two express purposes. First for you to share the value of what you offer (sales), but also for you to learn enough about the client to determine if they are a good fit to work with (screening). Once you choose to engage, your coaching agreement outlines the mutual responsibilities (boundaries) that you both commit to uphold.
Don't let an ineffective coaching relationship linger and create friction or frustration for either of you. It's not a reflection of your coaching skills or expertise, it's just not a good fit. Support that client in discovering what they do need, point them in the right direction, and sit back in confidence knowing you did the right thing for both of you.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Periodically, we want to bring you insights from other successful, practicing divorce coaching professionals to expand the conversation . We're so excited to bring you our very first spotlight coach interview today.
Today's guest, Andrea Hipps, LBSW, is a Certified Divorce Coach® and author who helps parents all along the divorce continuum resolve their divorce debris and create beautiful two-address families for their kids. She's the author of the internationally bestselling book The Best Worst Time of Your Life: Four Practices to Get You Through the Pain of Divorce, which outlines the four practices you need to create wholeness and healing for you and your kids before, during, and after divorce. As a regular contributor to our nation’s divorce recovery conversation, she's been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX and the CW discussing how we can do divorce better for the sake of ourselves and our families.
Tracy and Andrea focus on the topic of divorce debris and why it's so critical for those thinking about entering the field of divorce coaching to wait until their hearts and their wisdom can catch up with their passion . As Andrea so aptly states, "We can only lead people as far as we've grown".
We're not in the business to create "mini-me's" or to "save" clients from having a divorce experience like we did. We're here to be curious and help them self-discover the best options for their own families and their own lives. Divorce coaches need to have enough space and healing from our own experiences to support clients from a neutral perspective.
As Debra often says, "We must coach from our scar, not from our wound". Listen through to the end to learn how taking the garbage out every morning keeps Andrea "debris free".
Getting new clients is important, but so is making sure you’re spending your time, money and energy on the marketing activities and admin tasks that create the most return for your business.
Today, Tracy and Debra talk about the metrics that have helped them make critical decisions in their businesses. Do you know what percentage of your consult calls are converting to paying clients? Do you know which marketing channels or activities are generating the most leads for you? What portion of your business is referrals from satisfied clients?
The time you spend on creating posts or interacting on social media, attending networking meetings, writing emails or blog posts, conducting or following up on consults...is time you could be spending somewhere else. Smart business owners constantly assess whether they're focusing their time on the right activities.
In any business, efficiency is key and coaching is no different. Tracking your KPI's (Key Performance Indicators) as part of your monthly routine can point you to the places that are giving you the most bang for your buck (or time).
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
DCA is constantly growing to serve you better. In this episode, we highlight a few recent changes that offer even more ways to connect with each other. Check out your DCA student dashboard for more information.
Student Community Each cohort in the process of studying to become certified ADR divorce coaches is being given access to a free online space to connect with their class and other students. It is automatically available after you enroll in the course.
Alumni Community Every coach who has been certified through DCA is now part of a free online alumni community where you can post questions, collaborate, or share resources. This includes all graduates of our ADRDC, DCC, PMDC and CCDC courses.
Case Consult Community All coaches participating in the Case Consultation and Mastermind Group have access to a dedicated community space to interact on a more frequent basis.
Lunch & Learn Events DCA is launching a free monthly series of learning events for all members of our alumni community. - 2nd Wed of each month is the Business Builder series focused on helping new-ish coaches get clients and start their practices.. - 4th Wed of each month is the Practice Accelerator series which will include advanced topics of interest to those with established businesses who are looking to continue their education.
Mobile App And don't forget that DCA is now available on the Thinkific (our learning platform) mobile app. Just download the app, search for Divorce Coaches Academy and log in using the same credentials you use for the web version. Now you can take DCA and all your courses and communities on the go. Apple App Store Google Play Store
We hope you'll take advantage of these new opportunities to network, learn, and grow.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Every divorce has conflict, but not every divorce is high conflict. As divorce coaches, we have the unique opportunity to help our clients become self-aware of their own conflict style, identify any personal behaviors that are contributing to divorce conflict and transition to a more strategic approach.
Word on the street is that everyone is divorcing a narcissist, but even in the presence of a full blown personality disorder, we can support clients in differentiating between actions that are protective and those that throw fuel on the fire.
Divorce conflict exists on a spectrum from general disagreements and good people behaving badly all the way to false allegations, illegal behavior, and physical violence. One key for coaches is to "know your zone" and not attempt to coach clients that exceed your conflict comfort level.
Listen in to today's conversation as Debra and Tracy talk all things high conflict divorce and how professional divorce coaches play such a vital role in helping clients manage that conflict more productively and effectively.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
In today's episode, Tracy and Debra talk about how the coaching conversation is intentionally different from a conversation with friends and family. While divorce coaches are great listeners, empathetic, and caring, we're also professionals who are there to get results for our clients.
In order to achieve those results, we need to understand where the client wants to go. Much like using a GPS in our cars, we have to know our destination in order to plan a route to get there.
When clients inevitably show up with a whole host of issues, emotions and concerns (what Tracy refers to as the "dump truck"), we serve them best when we can help them sort through and prioritize what needs attention. Establishing a specific focus for each client session allows the client to feel a sense of forward motion, some progress toward their goals.
Not only does this help your client feel confident and empowered moving through their divorce process, but it makes them feel amazing about their work with you. And that's good for business because referrals from happy clients can be one of the best sources of new business for you.
Listen in as we discuss why establishing session focus is the key to getting results for clients and for building your practice.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
One of the most common mistakes we see as divorce coaching professionals is when clients allow others to make decisions in their divorce.
Today we discuss the power of reminding clients that they are the captain of their own divorce; from deciding the type of process they use to the amount of conflict they want to introduce to the final financial and parenting agreements they make.
When clients let family, friends, attorneys or even coaches influence their choices in divorce it can leave them feeling confused and powerless. One of the greatest gifts we offer are tools and encouragement to help clients advocate for themselves. Getting them to the understanding that they are the captain of their divorce and they have hired other professionals (or asked others for input) as part of their decision-making process, but not in place of it.
When clients are able to make informed, intentional choices, they walk away from divorce feeling empowered, not victimized. And that leads to a faster and fuller recovery. After all, divorce isn't just an ending - it's also a new beginning.
Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk about the advantages of supporting clients to be the captain of their own ship.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
On today's episode, Debra and Tracy discuss the who's who of individuals that are entering the field of divorce coaching and why they believe it is becoming so popular and important in the landscape of divorce.
Divorce coaching is a relatively new profession, but a quick Google search on the term "divorce coach" yields more than 450 million hits. Results include everything from training programs to articles to individual coach websites. More people are entering the field every day, but why is the profession growing so quickly?
We've noticed an increasing number of experienced divorce professionals such as family law attorneys, mediators, parenting coordinators, paralegals and more that are adding divorce coach training to their skill set and their services.
In this episode, we talk about the transition to alternative dispute resolution practices and the positive impact professionally trained divorce coaches are having on not just the divorce process, but on families.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Getting your certification as a divorce coach is awesome, but then what do you do? On today's episode Tracy and Debra talk about how to get those first clients and where new coaches should focus their energy when just starting out.
It's easy to get caught up in "shiny object syndrome" and feel the need to do ALL THE THINGS right away. We want you to relax. You don't need a fancy website, an expensive business coach, or a ton of social media outlets to start building a profitable practice.
We'll talk about a few of the foundational classes DCA™ offers that can start new divorce coaches off on the right foot including Consults to Clients and Grassroots Marketing. You'll also hear us share our passion for reflective practice and the incredible results coaches are getting in our Case Consultation & Mastermind Group.
So, if you're just beginning your career as a professional divorce coach and aren't sure where to start...today's Divorce Coaches Academy™ podcast episode is just for you!
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
In this introductory episode, Tracy and Debra share a little background about the inspiration for creating Divorce Coaches Academy™. They talk about the mission and purpose of DCA™ which is to offer affordable, online continuing education for professional divorce coaches so they can maximize client impact and create thriving practices. They also work tirelessly to raise awareness and advocate for the profession of divorce coaching.
Listen in as they introduce the purpose of this new podcast and invite you into the growing community of divorce coaches who are raising the standard of practice and professionalism in the field. Whether you're a new divorce coach ready to launch, an experienced coach looking to expand your practice, or a divorce professional interested in learning more about how professional divorce coaches add value to the process...we hope to provide lots of helpful information in the weeks to come.
You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
When it comes to attorney-client relationships, we hear a lot of complaints. We understand there are a few bad apples out there, but most attorneys we know are really trying to do the best job they can. So what’s gone wrong? Why are clients not satisfied with the service their attorney is providing and what can they (and we as their divorce coaches) do about it?
We believe that clients frequently make this decision without an understanding of the role that their attorney will play and without conducting a thorough interview process. And then they feel stuck in a contractual relationship with a professional that isn’t meeting their expectations.
In this week's conversation, Tracy and Debra unpack some common complaints, discuss 5 red flags, and offer solutions when our client isn't feeling good about their attorney.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
We like to think that we actively have our fingers on the pulse of the divorce industry and the application of divorce coaching nationally and around the world. But recently, we have been hearing some noise about the need for divorce coaches to have training in areas such as trauma and post separation abuse. Yet, at the same time, we're hearing cries for divorce coaches to stay in their lane.
We are finding this dialogue confusing - not only for professional practicing divorce coaches but for consumers who are looking to learn more about working with a divorce coach or how divorce coaching can help them.
The reality is that any good, professional divorce coach is trauma sensitive in the way they approach their work with clients. The difference is that we do not venture into the arena of DV advocacy, legal advice or therapy. We remain firmly grounded in the ABA definition of divorce coaching as a form of dispute resolution.
A trauma-informed approach to conflict in divorce recognizes and addresses the impact of trauma on individuals' behaviors, emotions, and interactions. This approach is rooted in understanding the pervasive effects of trauma and emphasizes safety, trust, empowerment, and collaboration.
We endeavor to minimize further harm by helping clients get through their divorce process with the least amount of damage to their bank account and their mental health. Because the only way out is through. In order to recover from the negative experience of the marriage, our clients need support to get to the other side where they can be free to heal and build a new life.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
One thing we've noticed this year is that the Olympians we admire most have some lessons to teach us about divorce and co-parenting including sportsmanship, teamwork, and how to handle stress, victory and defeat.
Let’s take Katie Ledecky for example. She is widely regarded as the greatest female swimmer of all time and one of the greatest Olympians of all time. At just 27 years old, she has won eight Olympic gold medals and 21 world championship gold medals. What sets Ledecky apart from her competitors is her incredible work ethic and unyielding determination.
And Ledecky is just one of thousands of athletes who are showing us this level of dedication, sacrifice, and commitment to excellence and teaching us important lessons about teamwork, collaboration, managing stress, sportsmanship, the role of coaching, the importance of goals, and knowing when to retire.
Listen in as Tracy and Debra chat about the 12 divorce and co-parenting lessons they're taking away from the Olympic athletes.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Our guest today smashes the idea that an "amicable divorce" means that the couple is getting along and getting to agreement without conflict. Instead, she promotes the revolutionary idea that it's the mindset of the professionals involved that determine whether the divorce process is amicable.
We’re pleased to introduce you to Tracy Moore-Grant, Founder of the Amicable Divorce Network. The Amicable Divorce Network (ADN) is a global network of seasoned, licensed professionals who are dedicated to helping families navigate divorce through the Amicable Divorce Process, a modern, civilized, transparent, and cost effective alternative to adversarial divorce litigation. They are the only network in the world vetting divorce professionals for their experience, commitment to a resolution-focused practice, and engagement in fair billing practices.
More and more family law attorneys are exiting the world of litigation because they see what it does to families and it doesn't align with their personal values. Tracy explains this concept of "moral injury" and why it is the driving force behind the shift we are seeing in how divorce professionals choose to use their gifts and skills.
When professionals are focused on resolution, it saves clients time, money, and emotional energy. As Tracy explains, handing over decision making power to an adversarial attorney or a judge is an expensive way to be sure you spend money you don't have on things you might not want.
The bottom line is that the professionals you choose to work with have a tremendous amount of influence on your divorce process, the cost and the level of conflict - choose carefully!
We're tackling one of the most challenging and emotionally charged questions many of our clients face: How do you know when it's time to divorce?
No marriage is 100% happy all the time. Like any relationship, it’s filled with both good times and hardship. But for some, the challenges become chronic and overwhelming, leaving them wondering if ending the marriage is the right choice. Deciding to divorce is never easy and it’s rarely straightforward. As actress Kate Hudson said, “The process of discovering with somebody that you love that you don’t work is so painful.”
In this week's episode, we'll explore the signs that indicate it might be time to part ways, the importance of weighing both emotional and practical factors, and the tools and strategies you and your clients can use to arrive at a decision that’s right for them. And we’ll talk about the importance of preparing for the night you take dinner out of the oven - a favorite story that Debra likes to share.
When it comes to making this big decision, we often find that clients already know that ending the marriage is inevitable, they just have some fears that we called “The Big Buts” in episode #75. They worry about finances, their kids, and conflict. They don’t know where to start and they truly don’t understand the process, their options, and the amount of control they have over the cost, the amount of conflict, and the outcome.
That’s why we encourage you to partner with your client to develop an exit strategy. This means helping them gather the information they need and develop action plans to remove the fear and uncertainty around when and how to divorce. Fear is not only the obstacle that keeps individuals stuck in unhealthy, unhappy marriages unable to make decisions or take action, but it’s also the number 1 driver of cost and conflict in divorce.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
We're reaching to our back catalog to share one of the most popular episodes as Tracy and Debra take a quick summer break. We'll be back next week with brand new content!
When people find out what we do, it's not unusual to hear “UGH, I wish I’d known you when I went through my divorce. I made so many mistakes.” In this episode, we’re reviewing the five common mistakes people make and talk about how a divorce coach helps clients sidestep those mistakes and save time, money, relational damage and emotional energy.
Right now the average divorce with attorneys in the US will cost each party somewhere in the neighborhood of $15-20,000 and can easily exceed 6 figures when you add in custody battles, forensic accounting, discovery, depositions, motions, and all the other professionals and processes. Certainly legal fees can add up quickly when conflict escalates, but there are many other costs that clients pay when divorce mistakes are made.
When clients are stressed and overwhelmed and/or driven by emotions like anger, sadness, vengeance, jealousy, or indecision, their lives are impacted on every level. While those costs are much harder to quantify, they aren’t hard to observe. And when people are experiencing these costs of divorce, they may act and make decisions that don’t reflect their best selves or their best interests.
Listen in as Tracy and Debra dive into the 5 most expensive divorce mistakes and talk through the coaching tools you can use with each.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
We’re taking a detour from our planned topic today because we think it's time critical to talk about the implications of eliminating no-fault divorce. Based on this week's election results, as divorce professionals we need to be thinking about, discussing, and preparing for another potential shift in the landscape of divorce.
No-fault divorce has been around for decades, but there's been a growing push in some places to repeal it. But what would happen if we eliminated no-fault divorce? How would it change the dynamics of marriages, families, and even the legal system? Well, that's what we're exploring today.
Tracy and Debra talk through the potential implications of reinstating fault divorce including the impact on conflict, cost, our court systems and children.
The debate is complex, and there are no easy answers. But it’s important to keep discussing it and to think critically about the consequences—for the individuals and families involved, for you as a divorce professional, and for society as a whole.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
We're back with one of our most requested topics - how to build a solo practice that can meet your financial goals. It's been almost 6 months since we challenged you to evaluate your marketing objectives in episode #87 titled "Make More in 2024; Revenue Resolutions You Can Keep" ... so how are you doing?
Is your bank account going to be bursting the first month after you get certified? Absolutely not. And anyone who promises you'll earn $70k or more in your first year is giving you a sales pitch that's not grounded in reality.
We know first hand that the path to reaching business and financial goals in this business is fraught with challenges that require careful planning, strategic decision-making, ongoing monitoring, and persistent effort. Wishful thinking, though often tempting, can get in your way.
So today, we explore the reasons wishful thinking is detrimental to solo practice building (hope is not a strategy) and highlight some practical steps you can take to move your business forward.
The profession of divorce coaching can be a satisfying and financially rewarding pursuit, but it requires an understanding of business planning - being a talented coach is simply not enough.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below: