Club Sandwich – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Journalist, author and broadcaster Sarah MacDonald has spent a lifetime telling other people’s stories — but in this episode of Agehood, she shares her own.

Sarah opens up about losing her beloved father, a gentle obstetrician who championed women through birth but didn’t get the gentle death he deserved. She reflects on what it meant to become his advocate in a hospital system that wasn’t prepared to let go, and the lasting impact of that experience.

Now in the thick of the sandwich generation — caring for both her mother and mother-in-law in their 90s with her young adult children living at home — Sarah speaks honestly about what life in the middle looks like.

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If Sarah’s story resonated with you—and you’re caring for aging parents, navigating your own next chapter, or just trying to keep all the balls in the air—you’re not alone. At Violet, we offer free tools and support to help families navigate the last stage of life with care and confidence. Visit violet.org.au to start the conversation.

CREDITS 

Host: Melissa Reader

Executive Producer: Lize Ratliff

Find out more about Violet at violet.org.au

Agehood is the podcast that finally says what we're all thinking but rarely saying out loud. Hosted by Melissa Reader, CEO of Violet, we have the conversations that matter most: watching our parents age, being everyone's go-to person, the mess of love and duty, what it really takes to care for those we love, and yes, death, dying, and loss.

You'll hear Australia's most trusted voices, from beloved broadcasters to respected experts, vulnerably sharing their own stories alongside practical guidance that actually helps. This isn't about having all the answers—it's about asking the right questions and knowing you're not alone.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to Agehood. The podcast  where we have the conversations that matter most but happen least often. 

Over the next 12 weeks, host Melissa Reader will sit down with some of Australia’s most trusted voices — from beloved broadcasters to leading experts — to talk about caregiving, aging, grief, and the invisible load carried by the sandwich generation.

But before we get to their stories, we wanted to begin with Melissa’s.

In this opening episode, Melissa shares why she started Agehood, the personal story that led her to found Violet, and why it’s time we stop avoiding the last chapter of life — and start preparing for it.

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If Melissa’s story struck a chord—you’re not alone. At Violet, we offer free tools and support to help families navigate the last stage of life with care and confidence. Visit violet.org.au to start the conversation.

CREDITS 

Host: Melissa Reader

Executive Producer: Lize Ratliff

Find out more about Violet at violet.org.au

Agehood is the podcast that finally says what we're all thinking but rarely saying out loud. Hosted by Melissa Reader, CEO of Violet, we have the conversations that matter most: watching our parents age, being everyone's go-to person, the mess of love and duty, what it really takes to care for those we love, and yes, death, dying, and loss.

You'll hear Australia's most trusted voices, from beloved broadcasters to respected experts, vulnerably sharing their own stories alongside practical guidance that actually helps. This isn't about having all the answers—it's about asking the right questions and knowing you're not alone.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dad’s had another fall. The kids are out of control. Your boss’s patience is wearing thin. No matter what you do, you feel like you’re letting someone down. And who is looking out for you?

Welcome to Agehood. This is the show for all the people who are caught between caring for ageing parents, raising a family, and managing work—all while trying to live a good life. Listen in as some of Australia’s most trusted voices share their stories of Agehood: the tears, the frustration, the goodbyes, but also the laughs and moments of true joy along the way. Coming soon. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on Agehood, we’re having the conversation that matters most—but often happens least. Dr Kathryn Mannix is one of the world’s leading voices on dying well. As a former palliative care doctor, she's sat beside thousands of people at the end of their lives—and what she's learned might just change how you live yours.

In this gentle and powerful episode, Kathryn shares the real story of what dying actually looks and feels like—and why our fear is often worse than the reality. We talk about how to begin those difficult conversations, what people really want at the end, and how to support a loved one without losing yourself in the process. She shares the five phrases every family should know, why silence is sometimes the most compassionate response, and how we can turn grief into connection, even before death arrives.

Whether you're supporting ageing parents, caring for a sick partner, or simply curious about how to prepare for what lies ahead, this episode offers comfort, clarity and courage. Because talking about death isn’t morbid—it’s an act of love. And as Kathryn says, the end of life deserves just as much care as every other milestone.

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If you’re caring for aging parents, navigating your own next chapter, or just trying to keep all the balls in the air—you’re not alone. At Violet, we offer free tools and support to help families navigate the last stage of life with care and confidence. Visit violet.org.au to start the conversation.

CREDITS 

Host: Melissa Reader

With thanks to Dr. Kathryn Mannix 

Executive Producer: Lize Ratliff

Find out more about Violet at violet.org.au

Agehood is the podcast that finally says what we're all thinking but rarely saying out loud. Hosted by Melissa Reader, CEO of Violet, we have the conversations that matter most: watching our parents age, being everyone's go-to person, the mess of love and duty, what it really takes to care for those we love, and yes, death, dying, and loss.

You'll hear Australia's most trusted voices, from beloved broadcasters to respected experts, vulnerably sharing their own stories alongside practical guidance that actually helps. This isn't about having all the answers—it's about asking the right questions and knowing you're not alone.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Author and columnist Nikki Gemmell has never shied away from the hard conversations — and in this powerful episode of Agehood, she turns her lens inward.

Nikki opens up about the painful, unresolved grief of losing her mother by suicide, and the emotional aftermath of not being part of her end-of-life experience. She shares the guilt she still carries, how that moment reshaped her thinking around death, and why she’s determined to approach her own aging differently.

She also reflects on her experience supporting her father through the slow, confronting process of aging — and how witnessing his decline brought clarity about the kind of care, dignity, and control she wants for herself and her loved ones.

This is a conversation about control, courage, and care — and why planning for the end is one of the most radical acts of love.

Just a heads up, this episode deals with the topic of suicide. If you or someone you love needs help call Lifeline on 13 11 14

FIND OUT MORE

If you’re caring for aging parents, navigating your own next chapter, or just trying to keep all the balls in the air—you’re not alone. At Violet, we offer free tools and support to help families navigate the last stage of life with care and confidence. Visit violet.org.au to start the conversation.

CREDITS 

Host: Melissa Reader

With thanks to Nikki Gemmell

Executive Producer: Lize Ratliff

Find out more about Violet at violet.org.au

Agehood is the podcast that finally says what we're all thinking but rarely saying out loud. Hosted by Melissa Reader, CEO of Violet, we have the conversations that matter most: watching our parents age, being everyone's go-to person, the mess of love and duty, what it really takes to care for those we love, and yes, death, dying, and loss.

You'll hear Australia's most trusted voices, from beloved broadcasters to respected experts, vulnerably sharing their own stories alongside practical guidance that actually helps. This isn't about having all the answers—it's about asking the right questions and knowing you're not alone.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Australia is on the edge of a demographic cliff — and according to leading demographer Bernard Salt, we’re nowhere near ready.

In this episode of Agehood, Bernard joins host Melissa Reader to unpack the numbers behind our aging population, the rising pressure on families, and the looming care crisis that will land hardest on women in their 50s and 60s.

With his trademark clarity and insight, Bernard explains why the sandwich generation is growing, what the economic and emotional load of caring will look like over the next decade, and how we can start to prepare now — as individuals, families, and a nation.

It’s a wake-up call wrapped in data, empathy and urgency — and a must-listen for anyone navigating aging, caregiving, or planning for what’s next.

FIND OUT MORE

If you’re caring for aging parents, navigating your own next chapter, or just trying to keep all the balls in the air—you’re not alone. At Violet, we offer free tools and support to help families navigate the last stage of life with care and confidence. Visit violet.org.au to start the conversation.

CREDITS 

Host: Melissa Reader

With thanks to Bernard Salt

Executive Producer: Lize Ratliff

Find out more about Violet at violet.org.au

Agehood is the podcast that finally says what we're all thinking but rarely saying out loud. Hosted by Melissa Reader, CEO of Violet, we have the conversations that matter most: watching our parents age, being everyone's go-to person, the mess of love and duty, what it really takes to care for those we love, and yes, death, dying, and loss.

You'll hear Australia's most trusted voices, from beloved broadcasters to respected experts, vulnerably sharing their own stories alongside practical guidance that actually helps. This isn't about having all the answers—it's about asking the right questions and knowing you're not alone.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Most of us have a conversation we keep avoiding – about ageing, about more help at home, about dying. In this week's episode, recorded live in Sydney, palliative care physician Dr Kathryn Mannix shows us how to have that tender conversation.

Recorded live at our Stay For Supper event, Sarah Macdonald sits down with Dr Kathryn Mannix — global campaigner, author of With the End in Mind and Listen, and palliative care physician — to discuss why these are tender conversations, not difficult ones, and how to start the ones we keep putting off with our ageing parents.

JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community

This Week's Hack: Take the armour off, hand the authority back to your parent ("Mum, can you help me think this through?"), and then be quiet — for longer than feels comfortable.

Send this to: anyone bracing for a hard conversation with a parent, or a sibling who isn't quite there yet.

A moment that stays: Kathryn's "travel" metaphor for the end of life — when a dying parent talks about catching a bus or finding their ticket, go with them.

Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.

Today's guest: Dr Kathryn Mannix: author of With the End in Mind and Listen: How to Find the Words for Tender Conversations. Free animated short, 'A Beginner's Guide to Dying', available at https://kathrynmannix.com. 

Content note: this episode discusses ageing, serious illness, dying and grief. If you'd like to talk to someone — Lifeline 13 11 14; Griefline 1300 845 745; Carer Gateway 1800 422 737.

Find Put The Kettle On – Vera's free guide to the five questions worth asking your mum or dad – at https://putthekettleon.com.au

With huge thanks to Altina Drinks for generously sponsoring our Stay For Supper evening. Visit https://altinadrinks.com.

This episode was supported by Australian Unity Home Health and Care. Visit https://australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.

This episode was supported by NSW Trustee and Guardian — wills, power of attorney and enduring guardianship, sorted properly, so the people you love aren't left guessing. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.

Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald — Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader — Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer.
Audio + video edits by P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dementia is the leading cause of death in Australia, and a lot of what we believe about it is making things worse. This week, meet the man who moved in. Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you.

JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community

In this episode:
Our youngest guest yet. At 21, Dutch nurse Teun Toebes moved into the locked dementia ward of a nursing home and stayed three and a half years. Sarah Macdonald sits down with him on his first day in Australia to talk about what living alongside 130 housemates with dementia taught him: that the hardest part of the diagnosis is often not the disease, it's the way the world treats you once you have it. We don't lack beds or money, he says. We lack humanity.

This Week's Hack: Take them out, and keep showing up. Your parent may not remember the visit, but they remember the feeling. So do the drive, the cup of tea, the trip to the shops, even when it feels pointless. And when you don't know what to say or do, be okay with not knowing. Caring for someone with dementia is a shared job, not a solo one.

Send this to: Send this to your sibling, or to anyone who has stopped visiting because "they won't remember anyway." This is the episode that gently puts that one to bed.

A moment that stays: Teun takes his housemate Ellie to her son Marcel's house. She walks in, bursts into tears, and says, "Now I finally know where my son lives." She couldn't have told you the address. But she felt it.

Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand when "old" becomes a crisis.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation.

Topics covered in this episode:
- Why a 21-year-old nurse moved into a locked dementia ward, and what three and a half years taught him
- The "code of freedom": being the only resident who can open the door
- Why the stigma hurts more than the disease
- Identities change with dementia, but they are not lost
- The language problem: "brain gymnastics," "the restaurant of mistaken orders"
- How to be with a parent who has dementia, even when you don't know how
- Guilt, and why caring for someone with dementia is a shared responsibility
- "They remember the feeling, not the visit"
- Opening the locked doors: how 500+ Dutch care homes did it
- Over-medicalisation: thickener, walkers, hip airbags and protein drinks by default
- Quality of care vs quality of life
- "Use it or lose it": real knives, real plants, real dogs, real campfires
- Why one nursing home spent 10,000 euros a year on plastic plants
- The hospital-bed problem and the cost of standardising care
- Dementia as Australia's leading cause of death, and why that framing can backfire

Mentioned in this episode:

• Human Forever — Teun Toebes and Jonathan de Jong's award-winning documentary, touring Australia. Tour dates: 11 JUNE – MELBOURNE, 12 JUNE – BANGALOW, 13 JUNE – BRISBANE. To find out more, visit https://human-forever.com/join-the-movement/
• The Housemates — Teun's bestselling book about life on the ward.
• Teun's new book with Jonathan de Jong — out September 2026.

Credits:
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you don't have to do it alone.

This episode was supported by Australian Unity Home Health and Care. Visit https://australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
This episode was supported by NSW Trustee and Guardian — wills, power of attorney and enduring guardianship, sorted properly, so the people you love aren't left guessing. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Sarah Macdonald — Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader — Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer.
Audio + video edits by P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Worried about an ageing parent ending up in hospital? Caring from another city or another country? In this episode, Sarah Macdonald and Matt Preston talk about dementia, sibling guilt, hospital overwhelm, aged care delays, and why the smartest move is to plan earlier than feels necessary. Matt also reflects on the personal experience behind his current TV work on dementia: supporting his mum through the disease before she passed away.

Ageing parents? You’ve got them. We’ve got you.

JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community

The Conversation: Sarah Macdonald and Matt Preston unpack what families need to know about geriatric wards, dementia, long-distance caring, and the emotional and practical load of caring for ageing parents. They also connect Matt’s current TV work on dementia with his own experience of supporting his mum through dementia before she passed away.

This Week’s Hack: Start the conversation before it is urgent. Ask about wishes early, get assessments underway early, and do not wait for a fall or hospital stay to force decisions.

Listener Letter: This episode speaks directly to the clubber juggling kids, work and ageing parents, especially if you are carrying the emotional load from a distance or trying to get siblings on the same page.

Melissa Reader - CEO of Vera and expert on Australia’s ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble - Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg - GP and women’s health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr Stephanie Ward - Geriatrician helping you understand when old becomes a crisis.
Kerry Milligan - Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation.

Topics covered in this episode:

• dementia is more than memory loss
  - what geriatric wards are really like
  - why older people are safer at home when possible
  - bed block, aged care waits and hospital stress
  - long-distance caring and fly-in guilt
  - sibling conflict and how not to make it worse
  - advanced care wishes and hard conversations
  - how to keep connection with a parent living with dementia
  - why women still carry most of the caring load
  - Matt Preston on ageing, fear and making the most of the years ahead

This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services. Proactive local care that helps your parents live well at home, less stress for them, less worry for you, and more time for the good stuff. Visit australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.

Need more clarity at 3 AM? Vera gives you a structured 15-minute voice conversation to help you understand where your parent stands and what to do next. Find it in the show notes or at vera.guide.

Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you do not have to do it alone.

Sarah Macdonald - Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader - Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Rachel Fountain - Executive Producer
Audio + video edits by Fountain Media Group
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich - hear more from Sean at seanwayland.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If your parent is ageing and still saying “I’m fine”, this episode is your nudge to stop waiting for crisis. Sarah Macdonald and Gogglebox's Kerry Milligan talk about the conversations families avoid until it is too late: downsizing, wills, advanced care directives, aged care, death planning and the cost of denial.

Ageing parents? You’ve got them. We’ve got you.

JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.

SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community

In this episode

The Conversation: Sarah Macdonald and Kerry Milligan dive into what it looks like to get on the front foot with ageing, and why future planning can make life easier for both parents and kids.

This Week’s Hack:

Do one piece of future planning this week: check your will, sort your advanced care directive, or get yourself into the aged care system before you urgently need it.

Hack #2:

Kerry reveals she already got herself assessed and into the aged care system after shoulder surgery, so support would be there if she needed it again.

Meet the regular Clubbers

Melissa Reader - CEO of Vera and expert on Australia’s ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble - Clinical psychologist specializing in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg - GP and women’s health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr Stephanie Ward - Geriatrician helping you understand when “old” becomes a crisis.
Kerry Milligan - Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation.

Topics covered in this episode

Why 2026 is a turning point for Boomers and Gen X
Why denial makes ageing harder
Downsizing before the family home becomes a burden
Why Kerry says she will not live with her daughter
Wills, advanced care directives and making your wishes clear
Getting into the aged care system before crisis hits
How to make ageing less chaotic for your kids
What a death cafe is and what a death doula does
Why Boomers may need to reinvent aged care
Why asking for help actually makes things easier

Club Sandwich is brought to you by Australian Unity. Visit AustralianUnity.com.au/ClubSandwich

Credits

Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera.guide, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you don’t have to do it alone.

Sarah Macdonald - Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader - Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Rachel Fountain - Executive Producer
Audio + video edits by Fountain Media Group
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich - hear more from Sean at seanwayland.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.