Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing – Détails, épisodes et analyse

This week Luke Gordon joins Alana as he opens up about living with ADHD and demand avoidance. Luke and Alana explore how these dynamics impact their interactions and the steps they take to maintain a balanced and empathetic relationship.

This episode offers a real-time glimpse into their ongoing journey individually and relationally of self-awareness, accountability, and mutual support.

Luke Gordon is a certified addiction recovery and betrayal trauma coach and co-founder of Choose Recovery Services. Listen to his podcast Beyond the Facade or schedule a free consultation.

Register Now!

• The Body Awakened: A Brainspotting Journey to Healing - Join Amie for a three-day, in-person intensive on April 10-12, 2025. Experience Brainspotting, learn how to get back into your body, and heal somatically. Register before January 31st to save $200!

• Boundaries Boot Camp - Experience a six-week deep dive into boundaries. Learn more about what boundaries are, practical tools and skills for communicating and upholding boundaries, and how boundaries can protect relationships. The boot camp will begin the first week of February.

• Rebuilding Us: A Path to Deeper Connection - This four-day intensive is for couples in recovery who have completed at least a year of active healing and are ready to strengthen their relationship. Experienced therapists and coaches will guide couples through private sessions and group activities to foster deeper connection and intimacy in their relationship. Intensive will be in Mesa, AZ March 26th-29th and in Spanish Fork, UT November 5th-8th. 

⁠Watch us⁠ on YouTube.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Beyond the Facade Podcast - Luke Gordon hosts a podcast geared toward helping men live authentically and in harmony with their values.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

• Believing in You - In this program Amie teaches you how to work WITH your brain instead of against it. 

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

•  Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. 

• Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

• ⁠Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed.

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - We help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior, whether it’s a recurring challenge or a one-time incident. 

• Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

• Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Dating From Within - Amie Woolsey hosts this workshop which teaches you how to date yourself first. 

• Should I Stay or Go? - Self-paced course designed to be a companion on your journey toward self-discovery and personal empowerment. 

Connect with us on Social Media:

Alana Gordon

Amie Woolsey

Choose Recovery Services

Sometimes it can feel like triggers are overwhelming and impossible to handle. Listen in as Amie and Alana explore triggers - what causes them, why they persist, and most importantly, how to manage them in a healthy way.

Together they share their personal experiences with triggers and outline several exercises and tools for emotional regulation that you can implement immediately in your healing journey.

Referenced in this episode:

• Trauma on the Brain and Body - With Jody VanDrimmelen

Register Now!

• The Body Awakened: A Brainspotting Journey to Healing - Join Amie for a three-day, in-person intensive on April 10-12, 2025. Experience Brainspotting, learn how to get back into your body, and heal somatically. Register before January 31st to save $200!

• Boundaries Boot Camp - Experience a six-week deep dive into boundaries. Learn more about what boundaries are, practical tools and skills for communicating and upholding boundaries, and how boundaries can protect relationships. The boot camp will begin the first week of February.

⁠Watch us⁠ on YouTube.

⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation with us.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Beyond the Facade Podcast - Luke Gordon hosts a podcast geared toward helping men live authentically and in harmony with their values.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

• Believing in You - In this program Amie teaches you how to work WITH your brain instead of against it. 

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

•  Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. 

• Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

• ⁠Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - We help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior, whether it’s a recurring challenge or a one-time incident. 

• Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

• Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Dating From Within - Amie Woolsey hosts this workshop which teaches you how to date yourself first. 

• Should I Stay or Go? - Self-paced course designed to be a companion on your journey toward self-discovery and personal empowerment. 

Connect with us on Social Media:

Alana Gordon

Amie Woolsey

Choose Recovery Services

Join us this week as we revisit one of our most popular episodes from 2022.

The road to recovery can be a long and difficult road. When you don't know where you are headed and how to get there, it can feel even more daunting. Join Alana, Amie, and their guest, Luke Gordon, as they unpack the stages of individual and relational healing. They emphasize the necessity of humility, transparency, vulnerability, and empathy. 

Whether your partner is participating in recovery or not, learn actionable strategies and gain hope for a journey towards trust, emotional stability, and genuine connection.

Download a visual of the recovery map ⁠here⁠.

Coming Up!

• Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Jan 15-17, 2025. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

⁠Watch us⁠ on YouTube.

⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation with us.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Beyond the Facade Podcast - Luke Gordon hosts a podcast geared toward helping men live authentically and in harmony with their values.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

• Believing in You - In this program Amie teaches you how to work WITH your brain instead of against it. 

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

• Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. 

• Healing Hearts - Self-paced, 15-week course for individuals and couples to complete at their own pace. The course emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

• ⁠Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - We help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior, whether it’s a recurring challenge or a one-time incident. 

• Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

• Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Dating From Within - Amie Woolsey hosts this workshop which teaches you how to date yourself first. 

• Should I Stay or Go? - Self-paced course designed to be a companion on your journey toward self-discovery and personal empowerment. 

Connect with us on Social Media:

Alana Gordon

Amie Woolsey

Choose Recovery Services

How can you start to trust yourself again after betrayal? Being betrayed by a partner is traumatizing physiologically, emotionally, and mentally. This can leave trauma on your body even long after the betrayal has occurred. When you’ve had this kind of blow in your life, it affects your sense of self, sense of safety, and self identity. This makes trusting yourself difficult. 

This is a very natural response when you’ve experienced betrayal, but learning to trust yourself again is the first key to healing. Join Amie Woolsey in this episode as she shares:

• Whose responsibility it is to rebuild the trust

• Common thoughts and feelings you can experience after trust is broken

• The power of thought dumping

• Tools to begin to regain trust in yourself

• What it will look and feel like when you start trusting yourself again

Groups, Classes, and Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

• Road to Recovery - Join Luke and Alana for a free monthly couples webinar to navigate the relational aspects that come on the road to recovery.

• Should I Stay or Should I Go - Join this FREE group coaching call with Amie for those stuck trying to decide whether to stay in their marriage.

• Healthy Dating Webinar - FREE webinar with Amie for single 18-25 year-olds interested in receiving tools and encouragement for future relationships.

• Am I In An Abusive Relationship? - FREE, self-paced workshop to help you identify key red flags in your relationship.

• Choose 180 Male Support Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction while healing from shame.

• Transforming Your Triggers- 6-week course taught by Hali Roderick to help women manage and overcome the challenges of trauma triggers.

• FREE BODY LOVE class that's ready when you are.

• You can also find Amie on The Empowered Divorce Podcast!

Connect with us on Social Media:

• Amie Woolsey - Life Coach CPC, ICF, ELI-MP, CLDS, APSATS Trainee

• Alana Gordon - MFTI, CCPS, CSAT Candidate, Betrayal Trauma Coach

• Choose Recovery Services

Sign up here to get an email reminder every time a new episode drops!

Today Amie and Alana talk about trust using the work of Brené Brown, and American professor, who created specific elements of trust by using the acronym BRAVING. Because it's BRAVE to trust, especially after betrayal.

When you are trying to watch your partner's feet move back up the ladder of trust, it can be confusing to know what you are even watching for! So they break down these tools she offers as elements of trust and make them more tangible and betrayal trauma relatable. These are NOT all the ways that trust is restored and yet this gives a nice place to start and easy to remember way that can help you begin leaning into trust.

The Acronym BRAVING

B- Boundaries

R- Reliability

A-Accountability

V-Vault/Vulnerability

I- Integrity

N- Non-judgment

G-Grace

Remember, when there is no honesty and safety in the relationship, there can't be trust. So please evaluate your own situation as to if this is ready to be practiced in a relational way at this time.

Join Amie next week as she will talk about rebuilding trust with YOURSELF FIRST.

Link to the original Brene Brown's Talk on BRAVING

Finding Yourself After Betrayal -Amie Woolsey and the ladder of trust in more depth

Making Amends Choose to Be Podcast Episode

Don't miss these new groups by Choose Recovery Services:

❤️‍🩹 Choose Recovery for Couples - A comprehensive support group for couples to get the support they need to work through the pain of infidelity and betrayal and begin rebuilding their relationship. Taught by Luke and Alana Gordon. ⁠Learn more.⁠

👩 Choose Betrayal Trauma Healing for Women - This weekly support group is for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help to cope with the symptoms of trauma such as depression, hypervigilance, anxiety, and lack of trust. Ask questions from our team of coaches at Choose Recovery Services who have been there with this accessible group that is free for the first 12 weeks. ⁠Learn more.⁠

🧑 Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from addiction, infidelity and/or betrayal. Participants will gain tools and an understanding to better manage emotions and assess behaviors. ⁠Learn more.⁠

💕 YSA Healthy Dating & Empowerment Course - For young, single women who are navigating the dating scene, Amie Woolsey from Choose Recovery Services educates and empowers women with the knowledge to understand boundaries, self-care, red flags, 7 levels of intimacy, and so much more! ⁠Learn more.⁠

💪 Believing in You - Program to help you work with your brain rather than against it with Amie Woolsey. You’ll learn tools and concepts to gain a better awareness of your thoughts and emotions and how to gently push back on automatic thoughts. ⁠Learn more.⁠

Am I In An Abusive Relationship? - FREE, self-paced workshop to help you identify key red flags in your relationship.

Connect with us on social media:

• ⁠Amie Woolsey⁠ - Life Coach CPC, ICF, ELI-MP, CLDS, APSATS Trainee
• ⁠Alana Gordon⁠ - MFTIntern, CCPS-C
• ⁠Choose Recovery Services⁠

⁠Sign up here⁠ to get an email reminder every time a new episode drops!

.What would you guess is the #1 thing people want help with when they go to see a therapist or a coach? Here’s a hint…whether you’re dealing with betrayal, trauma, or just simple disruptions in a relationship growing apart, all these roads lead to a need for better communication. 

We are hard-wired for connection, and a core part of connection is communication. Join Alana on this episode for the first step to better communication in your relationship – learning the difference between communicating in a way that is passive, aggressive, passive aggressive, and assertive. 

A few topics covered on this episode include:

• Why are you feeling passive aggressive with your partner after betrayal?

• What does it look like to communicate passive aggressively?

• The swings between communication styles after betrayal.

• How to communicate using “I feel” statements.

• How learning new information can lead to behavior changes.

Don't miss these new groups by Choose Recovery Services:

❤️‍🩹 Choose Recovery for Couples - A comprehensive support group for couples to get the support they need to work through the pain of infidelity and betrayal and begin rebuilding their relationship. Taught by Luke and Alana Gordon. Learn more.

👩 Choose Betrayal Trauma Healing for Women - This weekly support group is for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help to cope with the symptoms of trauma such as depression, hypervigilance, anxiety, and lack of trust. Ask questions from our team of coaches at Choose Recovery Services who have been there with this accessible group that is free for the first 12 weeks. Learn more.

🧑 Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from addiction, infidelity and/or betrayal. Participants will gain tools and an understanding to better manage emotions and assess behaviors. Learn more.

💕 YSA Healthy Dating & Empowerment Course - For young, single women who are navigating the dating scene, Amie Woolsey from Choose Recovery Services educates and empowers women with the knowledge to understand boundaries, self-care, red flags, 7 levels of intimacy, and so much more! Learn more.

💪 Believing in You - Program to help you work with your brain rather than against it with Amie Woolsey. You’ll learn tools and concepts to gain a better awareness of your thoughts and emotions and how to gently push back on automatic thoughts. Learn more.

Connect with us on social media:

• Amie Woolsey - Life Coach CPC, ICF, ELI-MP, CLDS, APSATS Trainee
• Alana Gordon - MFTIntern, CCPS-C
• Choose Recovery Services

Sign up here to get an email reminder every time a new episode drops!

🎙️ We’re closing out the last episode of a 3-part series on the topic of adult children of sex addicts featuring Dr. Kenneth M. Adams Ph.D., CSAT-S, and author of the new book, A Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts.

This week, we respond to listener questions such as:

• “Do I need to hide my pain from my kids?”
• “When is it too late to repair your relationship with your children?”
• “How can I work through the guilt and shame that come from repairing damaged relationships?”

Amie and Alana are excited about the questions this book has brought up for you, and they encourage you to keep asking questions as you heal. Your path to healing will be filled with pain and fear, but as you do this difficult work, there is healing, beauty, strength, and post-traumatic growth to be found along the way.

Amie and Alana referenced Vicki Tidwell Palmer’s Bill of Rights in this episode. You can find the full list here.

Don’t miss these new groups offered by Choose Recovery Services:

❤️‍🩹 Choose Recovery for Couples - A comprehensive support group for couples to get the support they need to work through the pain of infidelity and betrayal and begin rebuilding their relationship. Taught by Luke and Alana Gordon. Learn more.

👩 Choose Betrayal Trauma Healing for Women - This weekly support group is for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help to cope with the symptoms of trauma such as depression, hypervigilance, anxiety, and lack of trust. Ask questions from our team of coaches at Choose Recovery Services who have been there with this accessible group that is free for the first 12 weeks. Learn more.

🧑 Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from addiction, infidelity and/or betrayal. Participants will gain tools and an understanding to better manage emotions and assess behaviors. Learn more.

💕 YSA Healthy Dating & Empowerment Course - For young, single women who are navigating the dating scene, Amie Woolsey from Choose Recovery Services educates and empowers women with the knowledge to understand boundaries, self-care, red flags, 7 levels of intimacy, and so much more! Learn more.

💪 Believing in You - Program to helps you work with your brain rather than against it with Amie Woolsey. You’ll learn tools and concepts to gain a better awareness of your thoughts and emotions and how to gently push back on automatic thoughts. Learn more.

Connect with us on social media:

• Amie Woolsey - Life Coach CPC, ICF, ELI-MP, CLDS, APSATS Trainee
• Alana Gordon - MFTIntern, CCPS-C
• Choose Recovery Services

Sign up here to get an email reminder every time a new episode drops!

Join the conversation today as Amie and Alana interview Dr. Kenneth M Adams, Ph.D., CSAT-S and author of the new book, Alight in the dark, The hidden legacy of adult children of sex addicts co authored with Mary E Meyer, Ph.D., LMFT, and Culle L Vande Garde, LCSW where they detail the unique issues experienced by adult children who grew up with a sexually addicted parent. 

We are thrilled to share this powerful conversation with you in hopes that as a child of a sexually addicted parent, you will find the pieces that you have been carrying and find hope and healing. We also hope that for those who are the addicted parent or betrayed parent, this book will help you to understand your children's experiences so you can be a source of healing for them as well. 

If this book brings up any questions or concerns in your personal journey please reach out to Alana, Amie or Luke. 

NEW Support Groups available starting in April. For more information or to register click HERE

Ready to take your healing to the next level? 

Choose Recovery for couples is for those who are ready to lean into the relationship and do that next level work. This comprehensive support group is designed to provide you and your partner with the tools and support you need to work through the pain and begin rebuild your relationship. Alana and Luke tag team teaching and support to guide you through the healing process and help you communicate effectively, regain trust, and begin to move forward.

Click HERE for more information and to see if you are ready.

Believing In You Coaching Program starts April 5th! This group is for women who are ready to take their individual healing up a notch. Learning to trust yourself, love yourself and believe that you can truly create the life you want. We do that by digging into more awareness and leaning into more acceptance so that you can experience the life in the way you choose. 

To find out more information on that or get your spot click HERE

Follow on Instagram to stay caught up on whats happening!

@Chooserecoveryservices

@therapywithalana

@amiewoolsey

Join Amie and Alana today as the first part of a three part series around adult children of sex addicts. Todays episode preambles the much anticipated interview with Dr. Kenneth M Adams Ph.D., CSAT-S and author of the new book,  A light in the dark, The hidden legacy of adult children of sex addicts co authored with  Mary E. Meyer, Ph.D., LMFT, and Culle L. Vande Garde, LCSW  where they detail the unique issues experienced by adult children who grew up with a sexually addicted parent.

This book offers a path to unburden their shameful legacy and embrace sexuality and intimacy without the intrusion or constraints from the past.

Today Amie and Alana share thoughts to help prepare you for next weeks episode with Dr Adams and help those of you who are ready to gain more awareness and curiosity around this piece of your healing journey both for the addict, and the betrayed, and your children.

Mentioned in todays episode:

A list in the dark, The hidden legacy of adult children of sex addicts

NEW FREE WOMENS SUPPORT GROUPS with Choose Recovery Services starting in April. These are for those who are navigating their betrayal journey and staying in the marriage and those who are leaving the marriage or divorced.

For more information around these groups and to see if they are a right fit for you at this time Click HERE

Believing In YOU Membership or those who are ready to take their healing to the next level and practice tools that will help you move forward after betrayal, abuse and or around divorce. This new membership now comes with 2 free 2:2 sessions with Amie every 12 weeks and at least 20 hours of coaching every 12 week cycle. You will now have access to Marco Polo for coaching around stuck points in between sessions, Facebook support group, worksheets, recorded sessions and more. To see if you are ready for this group feel free to book a consultation with Amie or email Vanessa at info@chooserecoveryservices.com

Interested in the Mens support groups and addiction recovery groups? Get on the interest list and find out more information by emailing info@chooserecoveryservices.com 

The Body Love Course- to help you lean into the awareness of you body and become more at ease in it.

The Empowered Divorce Podcast- for those who are leaning towards divorce

Should I Stay Or Should I Go- for those who feel stuck in making the decision. This groups coaching session can help you gain clarity around your thoughts and help you make the decision that is most wise for you.

Connect with us on Social Media:

• Amie Woolsey - Life Coach CPC, ICF, ELI-MP, CLDS, APSATS Trainee
• Alana Gordon - MFTIntern, CCPS-C
• Choose Recovery Services

Sign up here to get an email reminder every time a new episode of Choose to Be drops!

Do you feel fear, shame, insecurity, or pressure when you think about your sexuality? Join Amie and Alana as they help you consider if you’re ready to lean back into your sexuality after betrayal, and why it’s okay to embrace your sexuality.

Tune into the episode to think about:

• Embedded beliefs you may have around sexuality
• Four elements that build intimacy
• Small ways to become more aware of your body
• How to separate sex from pleasure
• The links between shame and sexuality

Resources mentioned in todays episode

Healthy Sexual Dimensions:

Nurturing: The capacity to receive care from others and provide care for self

Sensuality: Mindfulness of physical senses that creates emotions, intellectual, spiritual and physical presence

Self Image: A positive self-perception that includes embracing your sexual self

Self Definition: A clear knowledge of yourself, both positive and negative, and the ability to express boundaries as well as needs

Comfort: The capacity to be at ease about sexual matters with oneself and with others

Knowledge: A knowledge base about sex in general and about one's own unique sexual patterns

Relationship: A capacity to have intimacy and friendship with both same and opposite gender

Partnership: The ability to maintain an interdependent, equal relationship that is intimate and erotic

The Body Love Course- to help you lean into the awareness of you body and become more at ease in it.

The Empowered Divorce Podcast- for those who are leaning towards divorce

Should I Stay Or Should I Go- for those who feel stuck in making the decision. This groups coaching session can help you gain clarity around your thoughts and help you make the decision that is most wise for you.

Connect with us on Social Media:

• Amie Woolsey - Life Coach CPC, ICF, ELI-MP, CLDS, APSATS Trainee
• Alana Gordon - MFTIntern, CCPS-C
• Choose Recovery Services

Sign up here to get an email reminder every time a new episode of Choose to Be drops!