Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast – Détails, épisodes et analyse

The holidays are upon us.  It's time to dig deep.

Catherine Hickem, founder of Parenting Adult Children Today (PACT). Catherine shares a hopeful, practical roadmap for parents who want less tension and more trust—especially as the holidays bring everyone under one roof.

We dig into why adult children often act different around their parents and how expectations, tone, and boundaries can either smother or strengthen the relationship.   We discuss:

• the hidden cost of parental expectations on adult children
• why rescues undermine confidence and fuel estrangement
• shifting from advice to curiosity with practical scripts
• separating our self-worth from kids’ choices
• tone of voice as an anxiety dial in hard talks
• setting and holding fair house rules when kids move home
• preparing for holidays with boundaries, space and new traditions
• grieving lost visions so joy can return

Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 

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Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

Check out Catherine’s free resource: Seven Keys To Talking With Your Adult Children at leaderpass.com/parenting-adult-children-today/preview

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The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

We sit down with "therapist to the millennials"  Tess Brigham to unpack why the 20s feel overwhelming, how parents can ease anxiety without enabling, and what healthy support looks like in a world of constant comparison and blurred work boundaries. 

We also share a step‑by‑step plan for tapering financial help and end with three clear takeaways to guide tough conversations.

• why questions beat lectures when adult kids call in crisis
• social media’s role in comparison, urgency and the “by 30” myth
• money stress, pandemic shifts and the gig economy
• boundaries at work, after‑hours expectations and burnout
• individuation, values and reworking family narratives
• mother‑daughter friction and being seen without defensiveness
• tapering financial support with timelines and transparency
• three takeaways: coach, contextualise, accept

Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

Email us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com with ideas/feedback.

Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much.

Facebook

 Instagram

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Pride Month gives us the perfect opportunity to expand our understanding of the LGBTQIA+ community, especially for those of us navigating relationships with our adult children. This heartfelt conversation with Emmy-nominated Matthew Rodriguez, host and executive producer of "It's Okay to Ask Questions," offers exactly what many parents need—permission to learn without judgment.

Rodriguez creates a safe space for curiosity, admitting that even as a gay man himself, he once struggled to understand terms like "non-binary" or aspects of transgender experience. "Just because I'm gay and we're kind of on the same side of the street didn't mean I knew everything there was to know," he explains. This honest acknowledgment sets the tone for a conversation where no question feels too basic or inappropriate when asked with genuine care.

Rodriguez elaborates on how society builds these metaphorical closets brick by brick through subtle messaging about acceptable behaviors and interests until a child "can't see out of all the things they've been told they shouldn't be."

For parents whose adult child has just come out, Rodriguez offers compassionate advice: "If you need to and you can't say anything in the moment, I would hug your child, kiss them, say I love you and say I just need a moment to process this...because I want to say the right things to you." 

Rodriguez's reminds us to reminder to "dream wider" for our children beyond traditional expectations. "All the ways you can grow and be in this world—there are many, and being open to that, as long as it brings love and joy and no harm, why not?"

Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.

Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Special episode with new guest host:  Connie Fisher.

Connie is usually behind the scenes doing our tech work, but today she joined Denise to talk to  Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo. They are the hosts of the #1 marriage podcasts on Apple podcasts called One Extraordinary Marriage.

Does this sound like you?

• Are you and your partner out of sync since you are no longer parenting young children?
• As your empty nest impacted your marriage?
• Do you wish for the same level of connection and intimacy you once had?
• Do you need the emotional skills to stay connected with your partner?
• Do you fear the important things are falling through the cracks?

Then this episode is for you!

Links to other mentions in the podcast:

• The Vagina Bible
• The Penis Book
• 10  Questions to Amazing Sex with Your Partner
• Tony and Alisa's Favorite Sex Toy

Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.

Support us  P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE
Buy a mug:  LINK HERE

Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Today we talk to Cameron Huddleston, an award-winning journalist who has been writing for over 20 years on personal finance.  US News and World Report named her one of the top finance experts to follow on Twitter.  Link to her Twitter feed.

She just released an amazing book called, “Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk.”  The target for the book is our kids of course, but we switched the conversation with Cameron and called it - “Hey Adult Kids, We Need to Talk.”

Here are some of the things we discuss:

• Why it is important to have a conversation with your adult kids now about estate planning (and estate planning is not just for rich people!).
• How to broach the subjects of estate planning and end-of-life planning  with your kids.
• The key legal documents that you need to have now, and how often to update them.
• Other important documents and information,  including passwords, car titles, bank accounts and more.  Here is a link to Cameron’s IN CASE OF EMERGENGY document - or you can also download it from her website. It could take you weeks to complete, but it is a starting point in understanding all that your adult children need to know NOW!  
• Even though you are healthy and really don’t think you will die or be injured soon, why it is so very important to be prepared.

Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.

Support us  P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE
Buy a mug:  LINK HERE

Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

EPISODE NOTES

Joining us today are Nyge Turner and Merk Nguyen, the hosts of the wildly popular podcast - Adult ISH. Produced by YR Media and Radiotopia from PRX, these two young adults have become prominent voices of their generation.

This episode they discuss everything from mental health and work ethic to social media and their relationships with their parents. They also bring a bit of diversity to BITE YOUR TONGUE. Nyge is an African American and I found through some research that he always wanted to be Eddie Murphy.  Merk is Vietnamese, in fact her parents immigrated to the US from Vietnam soon after 1975.

More about our guests:
Angela "Merk" Nguyen, 24, is an LA-based podcast producer who is a self-described "cis sis with a knack for puns and alliterations." She got her start in audio through KUOW's RadioActive Youth Media and can #humblebrag about being on NPR airwaves as a teen. She also aspires to be the next SpongeBob ( really, ask about her voice acting dreams).

Nygel Turner, 24, is an Oakland, California-based creator of Not Your Father’s Podcast and YouTube series Not Your Mama’s Kitchen. Nyge is the only person in Oakland who has never lost an argument. One day we’ll all see him own the red Jeep of his fantasies.

Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.

Support us  P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE
Buy a mug:  LINK HERE

Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Grandparenting.  This episode is for anyone who is a grandparent, has a grandparent in their life - or might soon become a grandparent. Or you just love an exceptional interview with a fabulous guest!

We welcome Julie Dolan Smith, one of the legendary Satellite Sisters.  With over 20-years in the radio/podcast industry, Julie has now taken on the alter ego of “Urban Nana.”  With 10 grandchildren and  years of experience, her wit and wisdom will make you laugh. and think.

We explore with Julie many questions submitted by listeners:

• When should grandparents get involved in disciplining, or even just talking to their grandchildren about their bad or impolite behavior, if ever?  
• When does it become necessary to tell the parents about bad or unkind behavior from the grandchildren?
• When grandchildren are at their grandparents’ home,  being taken care of by the grandparents, whose rules have to be followed? 
• What is your advice for the grandparent who lives far away from the grandchildren? How can they keep the connection alive?

She sums things up very quickly with ONE piece of advice we all will want to tape to our foreheads.

We hope you enjoy the episode.  To learn more about Julie and the Satellite Sisters, visit their website.  You can link to all of their podcast episodes, read the bios and learn why this podcast is really like “having coffee with a friend.”  Here is a quick link to their 20-year-history video.

Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.

Support us  P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE
Buy a mug:  LINK HERE

Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

In this episode, we speak to two young adults -- Sarah and Dan.  Both of them are in their early 30s.  We work to uncover their thoughts about young adulthood and the role their parents played in their journey.

Full disclosure --  both of these young adults, although from different parts of the country, are white and from middle to upper-middle-class families.  Our goal over the next year is to speak with more young adults, from many different backgrounds.  But this is a start.

Both of them give us some solid advice on issues such as:

• Do they want to know if you do not approve of their significant other?
• How often should you call - or not?
• When did they feel like they were "adults," and what did it mean to them?
• What is the hardest part of being an adult?
• How do their families deal with finances and if they were ready for a fiancial education in their younger years?
• Did they have reckless years in their 20s and do they agree with our earlier interview with Dr. Larry Nelson?

Stay- tuned for their final advice at the end of the episode.  It is worth waiting for.

Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.

Support us  P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE
Buy a mug:  LINK HERE

Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

The emerging adult - now recognized as “the third stage of life.” 

Our guest today says that studying the emerging adult years (about age 19-29) is much like studying the preschool years — the preschool years set the stage for the teen years, and the emerging adult years set the stage for the future adulthood.  

Today we talk with Dr. Larry Nelson, one of the world’s leading researchers on the emerging adult years. Dr. Nelson is the president of the Study of Emerging Adulthood (SSEA) and examines factors that contribute to flourishing or floundering during this time. He has published over 70 peer-reviewed journal articles and chapters in edited books on topics including conceptions of adulthood, social withdrawal, and the role of parents and culture in the transition to adulthood.

Here are some things you will learn from today’s episode:

• Why is this period of life critical to setting the stage for the adult years?
• What role do parents play during this stage of life? 
• What are the signals for the flourishing and/or floundering young adult?
• Why our generation might not have done it “right.”
• How this stage of life is dealt with in many other parts of the world, and how we can learn from them.
  …and more
  To learn more about the emerging adult and Dr. Nelson, here are some informative links:
• Society for the Study of Emerging Adulthood
• Flourishing in Emerging Adulthood, book by Dr. Nelson
• Distinguishing Features of Emerging Adulthood: The Role of Self-Classification as an Adult

We are anxious to hear your thoughts once you have listened to the episode.

Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.

Support us  P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE
Buy a mug:  LINK HERE

Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Welcome to our 8th episode! 

Every time I listen to an episode, I think to myself, "everyone needs to listen to this. There are so many valuable nuggets of information for all of us in every episode."

For this episode - I plead with everyone to listen and share it.  

Many of us think we are progressive and accepting, but to step into someone's shoes helps us learn so much more.  This episode is NOT JUST FOR PARENTS of LGBTQ+ children, but for ALL OF US.  Let me know what you think.
 
Today I speak with Levi Teachey, who is the Board President of PFLAG Denver, and Stacey Shigaya, who is the organization's Board Secretary.

Levi shares his very personal journey as a trans man and Stacey shares her journey both as an ally within the LGBTQ+ community and with her daughter who is pansexual.

We discuss both their stories and the rapidly changing landscape of this community.  Planned Parenthood writes: "Understanding the words, and the labels people use encourages respect and understanding."

Please share the episode with friends and family who you think might benefit. 

Stacey and Levi also shared these documents which I found very helpful:

Glossary of Terms (https://pflag.org/glossary)
Faith FAQs (https://pflag.org/faithfaq)
Becoming a Trans Ally 101 (https://pflag.org/transally101recording)

Finally, Levi ends each of his emails with this phrase -- "courage, kindness and lasting change," -- keep it handy!

PFLAG is a national organization founded in 1972 by Jeanne Manford, who marched with her son, in a gay pride parade in New York, with a sign that read: "Parents of Gays Unite."  It has become one of the most important organizations building support for friends and families of the LGBTQ+ community.  

Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.

Support us  P L E A S E!
Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE
Buy a mug:  LINK HERE

Great Deal for Listeners!
Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.