Anne-Marie Zanzal, M.Div is the creator and host of Coming Out & Beyond | LGBTQIA+ Stories. She deeply believes that in the hearing of another's story we can often here our own. Her podcast focuses on sharing the coming out stories of the Queer community. . Coming out stories is what connect everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community. These stories are compelling, heartbreaking and inspirational. But this podcast does not stop there. Straight media focuses so much on the coming out part, they often miss the "Beyond." Anne-Marie's guests have created lives of creativity, joy, authenticity and services to their fellow humans. She started this podcast because she felt the need to normalize exploration of questioning sexuality/gender at all ages, plus visibility is vital to the LGBTQIA+ community. It is never too late to be who we were created to be. Her guests prove that. Anne-Marie is a graduate of Yale Divinity School, an ordained minister in the progressive United Church of Christ, bereavement counselor, a coming out and divorce coach, conversationalist, spiritual wanderer, later-in-life lesbian, change maker, blogger, author, a northerner living in the south and trying to figure it all out. Anne-Marie has been featured in print and digital publications including Oprah Magazine, New York Times, BBC, CBC and iNews. She has appeared on numerous podcasts including Two Bottles Deep, Life (Un) Closeted, The Love Fix, Virgin Beauty Bitch, The Late Life Lesbian (YouTube), and many more. You can learn more about Anne-Marie at www.annemariezanzal.com.
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TW: This episode explores grief as related to the coming out experience and may be difficult for some to hear. If you are grieving and are experiencing a mental health emergency, call 9-8-8 for crisis support.
In this part 2 episode on healing grief host Anne-Marie Zanzal and her fellow coach, Barbara Rowlandson continue to explore the complex emotions surrounding grief when coming out later in life. If you're someone who is in the 'messy middle' of coming out and/or divorce we highly encourage you to listen, as parts 1 and 2 of these episodes on grief address the most common experiences we see in individuals who come out later in life. Anne-Marie and Barb pick up where they left of in part 1, discussing the last two stages of grief – depression and acceptance. They discuss recognizing and addressing depression, offer practical coping strategies for the depression stage, and emphasize the significance of community.
🔥 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
❤️🩹Why incremental change is a big deal. ❤️🩹How aligning values with actions brings peace. ❤️🩹How engaging with queer media can foster a sense of belonging. ❤️🩹The importance of community and daily rituals for self-care 🏳️🌈 and much more!
💬 Join the Conversation! 💬Are you on the other side of the 'messy middle?' What practices did you adopt to lift the grief?
❤️Join Authentically Us! A supportive community for those coming out later in life to the LGBTQIA+ community. Connect, share, and find guidance on your journey through mutual support groups, workshops, and live Zoom meetups. 💜Sign up today at www.annemariezanzal.com
TW: This episode explores grief as related to the coming out experience and may be difficult for some to hear. If you are grieving and are experiencing a mental health emergency, call 9-8-8 for crisis support.
In the episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal and her fellow coach, Barbara Rowlandson explore the complex emotions surround grief when coming out later in life. This is a MUST listen episode for anyone coming out and radically changing their lives in other ways, such as divorce or moving! Anne-Marie and Barb discuss the five stages of grief, emphasizing that the grief journey is not a linear path. Three grief stages - denial, anger, and bargaining - are discussed, and the conversation highlights the importance of recognizing and naming grief feelings/stages. Understanding societal expectations, navigating relationships during this emotional journey and practical advice and resources for listeners are shared in this episode. Next week - Part 2 will tackle the remaining stages of grief: depression and acceptance.
🔥 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
❤️🩹Why the 5 stages of grief are not linear and can 'loop back.' ❤️🩹How grief can manifest as avoidance or intellectualization. ❤️🩹How letting go of societal expectations can be accompanied by anger. ❤️🩹Why finding community is critical in the grief journey. 🏳️🌈 and much more!
💬 Join the Conversation! 💬How is grief appearing for you? What repeated thoughts are you having about grief and your journey? Let's talk about it in the comments. ❤️Join Authentically Us! A supportive community for those coming out later in life to the LGBTQIA+ community. Connect, share, and find guidance on your journey through mutual support groups, workshops, and live Zoom meetups. 💜Sign up today at 💠 Visit our website: : [ ] 💠 Facebook: 💠 Instagram: 💠LinkedIn:
In the episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal speaks with documentary photographer, Morgan Lieberman. Morgan's work has been featured in publications such as The New York Times, Bloomberg, National Geographic, The Wall Street Journal, The Los Angles Times, among others. Morgan's current documentary project, tentatively titled 'Hidden Once, Hidden Twice' focuses on documenting the lives of older lesbian partnerships. This project was borne out of a desire for lesbian community and out of recognition that the voices of the older lesbian generation have been suppressed and lost over time. In this episode, Anne-Marie and Morgan's conversation delves into the lessons learned from older generations, the significance of community, and the complexities of lesbian relationships. Morgan emphasizes the need for visibility and understanding of the unique experiences of older lesbians, while also discussing her aspirations for her documentary work.
🔥 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
🏳️🌈The significance of representation in media for the LGBTQ+ community. 🏳️🌈How lesbian relationships are often misunderstood and oversimplified by society. 🏳️🌈Reflections on the emotional depth and intensity of lesbian friendships and relationships. 🏳️🌈What younger generations of lesbians can learn from the older generation about resilience and love. 🏳️🌈 and much more!
You can follow Morgan Lieberman on Instagram, who goes by thechromaticsheep.
You can also donate to the "Hidden Once, Hidden Twice" GoFundMe here:
🤔Unpacking Compulsory Heteronormativity
Saison 6 · Épisode 39
samedi 27 septembre 2025 • Durée 40:50
This week on the pod: pull up a chair and lean in as host Anne-Marie Zanzal and her fellow coming-out coach, Barbara Rowlandson, unpack all things 'comp het.' Compulsory Heteronormativity (sometimes used interchangeably with 'compulsory heterosexuality) represents the systems in place that keep women from understanding or realizing their needs and desires. If you're just starting out on your coming out journey and have ever asked yourself, "Why the heck did it take me so long to realize I am gay/lesbian/bi/queer?" then this episode is for YOU!
🔥 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
🏳️🌈Anne-Marie and Barb each reflect on what comp het meant to them and how they felt when the learned about the concept. 🏳️🌈Why heterosexuality wasn't a private choice for many of us, but the result of a system designed to erase queerness. 🏳️🌈Unpacking the unprocessed misogyny behind distaste for the word lesbian. 🏳️🌈The myth of the 'good mother' and why a mother's happiness matters to children. 🏳️🌈 and much more!
💬 Join the Conversation! 💬Have you given any thought to comp het? What did you learn from this episode? What resonates? Let's talk about it in the comments!
❤️Join Authentically Us! A supportive community for those coming out later in life to the LGBTQIA+ community. Connect, share, and find guidance on your journey through mutual support groups, workshops, and live Zoom meetups. 💜Sign up today at www.annemariezanzal.com
✊🏼Values in Action: Maxine Kroll's Life of Acceptance, Sex-Positivity & Activism
Saison 6 · Épisode 38
vendredi 19 septembre 2025 • Durée 45:41
Note: This episode contains content about sex and is NSFW. Listener discretion is advised.
‼️SPECIAL FOR COMING OUT & BEYOND LISTENERS! This episode's guest, Maxine Kroll, founder/owner of Provincetown's renowned sex shop & museum, Toys of Eros, is offering 10% off purchases for our listeners! Just use the coupon code COB when completing your order to receive your discount. Shop everything Toys of Eros has to offer at https://toysoferos.com/
✊🏼Values in Action: Maxine Kroll's Life of Acceptance, Sex-Positivity & Activism
This week on the podcast, host Anne-Marie Zanzal has a conversation with Maxine Kroll, a lesbian and activist who has spent her life creating sanctuary for queer women and fostering acceptance for the LGBTQ+ community. Maxine shares her journey of coming out, stories of activism, and reflects on the critical importance of LGBTQ spaces. From her early experiences in high school to founding Provincetown's sex-positive boutique, Toys of Eros, Maxine discusses the evolution of queer identity and the significance of education to create safety and acceptance for the LGBTQ community. She reflects on the changes in sexual exploration across generations and offers advice for those navigating their first experiences. Anne-Marie and Maxine's conversation highlights the need for continued activism and support for LGBTQ rights in today's political climate.
🔥 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
📣Dakarai Larriett's Fight for Fairness in Alabama!
📣Dakarai Larriett's Fight for Fairness in Alabama!
This week on the podcast, host Anne-Marie Zanzal sits down with Alabama Senate candidate Dakarai Larriett. Dakarai Larriett is the son of a U.S. Army veteran, a successful entrepreneur, longtime community volunteer, and — above all — a proud Alabama native, deeply committed to serving the citizens of his home state. Dakarai’s passion for public service was ignited during his junior year as an exchange student at Howard University in Washington, DC. His career took him from New York to Texas and Michigan before his heart drew him back to Alabama. Dakarai has dedicated his time and resources to serving the community. In addition to his volunteer work with United Way, Meals On Wheels and the Humane Society, Dakarai leads the board representing the 60 families and businesses located in the Mercantile on Morris, a mixed-use development in downtown Birmingham. Dakarai's story is inspiring and his experiences inform his sense of fairness and justice. After having been falsely arrested, Dakarai has made it his mission to fight against corruption and has set his sights on the U.S. Senate, running as the Democratic candidate in 2026. Dakarai and Anne-Marie talk about his coming out story, his philosophy on servant leadership, his first-hand experience with institutional corruption, and the significance of his faith and personal experiences in shaping his world view.
🚨How Dakarai's false arrest in 2024 ignited a passion for justice and change.
🏳️🌈 Understand how Dakarai's coming out was influenced his upbringing in a strict religious environment.
🫣OK, I'm Gay, Now What?
Saison 6 · Épisode 36
vendredi 5 septembre 2025 • Durée 43:56
Reclaiming Your Sexual Self Workshop | with Mallory Hanfling, LCSW | Friday, Oct. 17th, 2025 | The Provincetown Inn, Provincetown, Massachusetts during Women's Week | 9:30 a.m.- 12:30 p.m. | Reclaiming Your Sexual Self Tickets, Fri, Oct 17, 2025 at 9:30 AM | Eventbrite Mallory Hanfling, a late-in-life lesbian/firefly, queer therapist, and sexuality educator provides attendees with the SexEd that you wish you got in high school. Covering everything from anatomy and the mechanics of all different types of queer sex, to toy maintenance, and to sexual communication and consent, Mal will help you reconnect with your sexual self, learn how to listen to and trust your body, and answer the questions you were too shy to ask out loud.
"Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples" is a comprehensive course for lesbian couples who are seeking to build a better relationship. Designed by lesbian psychologist and couples therapist, Dr. Robin Sesan, this course is ideal for any lesbian couple who finds themselves stuck in a rut, desires connection, and wants to build emotional safety in the relationship. This do at your own pace course includes video instruction, worksheets, and offers an online community in Authentically Us, where couples can discuss the outcomes of their assignments for each course unit. Yes, you can learn how to create positive interaction and build intimacy that lasts! Learn more and register at https://healthylesbianrelationships.com/
🫣OK, I'm Gay, Now What?
Download the free Self-Care and Boundary-Setting Scripts guide that accompanies this episode! http://bit.ly/3V0qlQs
Calling all later-in-life newbies! If you're a woman who is just starting the process of coming out, this episode is for you. Host Anne-Marie Zanzal and her fellow coach, Barbara Rowlandson, unpack the complexities of coming out later in life, discussing themes such as compulsory heterosexuality, internalized homophobia, cognitive dissonance, and the importance of community support. Anne-Marie and Barb provide insights on navigating early feelings, setting boundaries, and the significance of self-acceptance in the journey of identity exploration. Don't forget to download the free 1 pg pdf with the 3-circle map for clarity and scripts for boundary setting, starting challenging conversations, and journal prompts.
Reclaiming Your Sexual Self Workshop | with Mallory Hanfling, LCSW | Friday, Oct. 17th, 2025 | The Provincetown Inn, Provincetown, Massachusetts during Women's Week | 9:30 a.m.- 12:30 p.m. | Reclaiming Your Sexual Self Tickets, Fri, Oct 17, 2025 at 9:30 AM | Eventbrite Mallory Hanfling, a late-in-life lesbian/firefly, queer therapist, and sexuality educator provides attendees with the SexEd that you wish you got in high school. Covering everything from anatomy and the mechanics of all different types of queer sex, to toy maintenance, and to sexual communication and consent, Mal will help you reconnect with your sexual self, learn how to listen to and trust your body, and answer the questions you were too shy to ask out loud.
"Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples" is a comprehensive course for lesbian couples who are seeking to build a better relationship. Designed by lesbian psychologist and couples therapist, Dr. Robin Sesan, this course is ideal for any lesbian couple who finds themselves stuck in a rut, desires connection, and wants to build emotional safety in the relationship. This do at your own pace course includes video instruction, worksheets, and offers an online community in Authentically Us, where couples can discuss the outcomes of their assignments for each course unit. Yes, you can learn how to create positive interaction and build intimacy that lasts! Learn more and register at https://healthylesbianrelationships.com/
In this episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal welcomes Mallory Hanfling, a Philadelphia-based therapist specializing in identity development, coming out, and connecting with one’s most authentic self. As the founder of Courage to Grow Counseling, Mallory provides a safe and supportive space for LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples, helping them navigate the challenges of later-in-life coming out.
But Mallory’s work doesn’t stop there—she’s currently pursuing a PhD in Human Sexuality at the California Institute for Integral Studies (CIIS). Her research focuses on how community mitigates the impact of compulsory heterosexuality on later-in-life LGBTQIA+ individuals.
🌈#WLW: How to float - not sink - in the dating pool!
Saison 6 · Épisode 34
vendredi 22 août 2025 • Durée 40:21
"Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples" is a comprehensive course for lesbian couples who are seeking to build a better relationship. Designed by lesbian psychologist and couples therapist, Dr. Robin Sesan, this course is ideal for any lesbian couple who finds themselves stuck in a rut, desires connection, and wants to build emotional safety in the relationship. This do at your own pace course includes video instruction, worksheets, and offers an online community in Authentically Us, where couples can discuss the outcomes of their assignments for each course unit. Yes, you can learn how to create positive interaction and build intimacy that lasts! Learn more and register at https://healthylesbianrelationships.com/
Wing Women Weekend, October 15-18, 2025, Provincetown, MA - a conference for women/non-binary persons who are new to the LGBTQIA+ community! This conference is all about connection, finding queer community, and having a whole lot of FUN! For the full conference schedule and to sign up, visit https://wingwomenweekend.com/ and use the coupon code PRIDE in June to receive 10% off.
This week on Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal and fellow later-in-lifer Barbara Rowlandson talk about #wlw dating later in life. Barbara Rowlandson is a coach for women who come out later in life with a focus on catalyst relationship recovery and dating resilience, and a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) in Ontario, Canada. Dating later in life - whether you're new to dating women or a long-out person who just hasn't dated in a very long time - dating can feel daunting, complex, and disappointing. Anne-Marie and Barbara explore the unique challenges of dating women later in life, the importance of understanding personal values and doing self-work, how to uncover limiting beliefs about dating, cultivating psychological flexibility, dealing with dating disasters and more. This is a fantastic episode for any woman who is about to step into the dating pool, or for those who have been dating and struggling to meet the right person.
For those interested in Barbara's coaching services, you can book a free consultation call here:
🌈 Understanding Coming Out in Adulthood
Saison 6 · Épisode 33
vendredi 15 août 2025 • Durée 44:35
"Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples" is a comprehensive course for lesbian couples who are seeking to build a better relationship. Designed by lesbian psychologist and couples therapist, Dr. Robin Sesan, this course is ideal for any lesbian couple who finds themselves stuck in a rut, desires connection, and wants to build emotional safety in the relationship. This do at your own pace course includes video instruction, worksheets, and offers an online community in Authentically Us, where couples can discuss the outcomes of their assignments for each course unit. Yes, you can learn how to create positive interaction and build intimacy that lasts! Learn more and register at https://healthylesbianrelationships.com/
Wing Women Weekend, October 15-18, 2025, Provincetown, MA - a conference for women/non-binary persons who are new to the LGBTQIA+ community! This conference is all about connection, finding queer community, and having a whole lot of FUN! For the full conference schedule and to sign up, visit https://wingwomenweekend.com/ and use the coupon code PRIDE in June to receive 10% off.
This week on Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal interviews Dr. Samantha Winterberg, who shares her personal journey of coming out and her extensive experience in health psychology. Anne-Marie and Dr. Winterberg discuss the catalysts for coming out, the challenges of navigating open relationships, and the importance of communication. Dr. Winterberg's new workbook, "Coming Out in Adulthood" addresses the fears associated with coming out and the impact of childhood trauma on LGBTQ+ identities. Their conversation touches on spirituality, the role of religion, and the significance of understanding one's identity beyond societal labels.
💬 Join the Conversation! 💬Are you a member of the older lesbian generation? What comes up for you when you listen to this episode? If you're of a younger generation, what surprised you about the episode? Leave your thoughts in the comments and let's talk about it!
❤️Join Authentically Us! A supportive community for those coming out later in life to the LGBTQIA+ community. Connect, share, and find guidance on your journey through mutual support groups, workshops, and live Zoom meetups. 💜Sign up today at www.annemariezanzal.com
👍 Like, subscribe, and hit the bell to stay updated on powerful stories from Coming Out & Beyond!
👍 Like, subscribe, and hit the bell to stay updated on powerful stories from Coming Out & Beyond!
🕰️Reflections on the evolution of Provincetown as an LGBTQ+ sanctuary. 💋Discussion on the relationship between communication and pleasure. 🐘A walk down memory lane to early days of Provincetown's annual Women's Week. 👩🏽❤️💋👩🏽Sex-positive conversation about toys, sexual health, and empowering women through education. 🏳️🌈 Thoughts about the future of LGBTQ+ rights
💬 Join the Conversation! 💬Have you experienced Provincetown during Women's Week and/or been to Toys of Eros? Do you have thoughts about activism, sex-positive education, or the current state of LGBTQ+ rights? Talk about in the comments!
❤️Join Authentically Us! A supportive community for those coming out later in life to the LGBTQIA+ community. Connect, share, and find guidance on your journey through mutual support groups, workshops, and live Zoom meetups. 💜Sign up today at www.annemariezanzal.com
👍 Like, subscribe, and hit the bell to stay updated on powerful stories from Coming Out & Beyond!
🌎How travelling to over 55 countries has broadened his perspective on global issues.
🌟How Dakarai aims to bridge divides in a polarized political landscape.
✝️The evolution of Dakarai's faith journey, ultimately leading to the United Methodist Church.
💬 Join the Conversation!
💬What are your biggest perceived challenges in coming out? Let's talk about it in the comments!
❤️Join Authentically Us! A supportive community for those coming out later in life to the LGBTQIA+ community. Connect, share, and find guidance on your journey through mutual support groups, workshops, and live Zoom meetups. 💜Sign up today at www.annemariezanzal.com
👍 Like, subscribe, and hit the bell to stay updated on powerful stories from Coming Out & Beyond!
🔥 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
💡 Ideas for boundary setting when having challenging conversations.
🏳️🌈 The external forces that keep us from identifying our authentic sexuality until later in life.
🧠 Understanding how our brains keep us safe and the concept of cognitive dissonance.
🌟Why "LGBTQ affirming" support may not be enough and what to look for in a therapist or coach.
📢 Practical advice and achievable steps for change.
💬 Join the Conversation!
💬What are your biggest perceived challenges in coming out? Let's talk about it in the comments!
❤️Join Authentically Us! A supportive community for those coming out later in life to the LGBTQIA+ community. Connect, share, and find guidance on your journey through mutual support groups, workshops, and live Zoom meetups. 💜Sign up today at www.annemariezanzal.com
As a passionate advocate for community, Mallory coined the term "Fireflies" to represent women, non-binary, and trans people who are exploring their sexual identity later in life. Through her weekly Firefly peer support group, she helps Fireflies at all stages of their journey connect, share, and empower one another.
Whether you're coming out later in life, questioning your identity, or looking for a supportive community, Mallory’s insights and experiences will resonate deeply.
🔥 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
💡 How Mallory helps later-in-life LGBTQIA+ individuals navigate identity development
🏳️🌈 Why community is essential for those coming out later in life
🧠 The role of therapy in healing from compulsory heterosexuality
🌟 What it means to be a "Firefly" and how to join the Firefly peer support group
🎓 How Mallory’s PhD research is changing the conversation around later-in-life queerness
📢 Practical advice for embracing authenticity and self-discovery
Books that resonated with Mallory are Untamed by Glennon Doyle https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/52129515 and Bossy Pants by Tina Fey https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/167987272-bossy-pants?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=zHsUsI2...
💬 Have you experienced a later-in-life coming out journey? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments!
❤️Join Authentically Us! A supportive community for those coming out later in life to the LGBTQIA+ community. Connect, share, and find guidance on your journey through mutual support groups, workshops, and live Zoom meetups. 💜Sign up today at www.annemariezanzal.com
🌈Discussion about finding yourself and getting clear about values after a long term relationship, and why this is an important step before dating.
🌈Clues on how to recognize limiting beliefs - and how to counter them.
🌈Reflection on setting boundaries and how to hold them.
🌈Tips for mindfulness practices to beat dating anxiety.
🌈Thoughts on what to do when you encounter a 'dating disaster.'
✨ Why This Matters:
Taking the next step into dating represents a major shift for many women that can feel very uncomfortable. Dating requires a willingness to try and to fail, and failure can sometimes feel very personal or painful. By adjusting our mindset around dating, we can create a much better experience for ourselves, one where we can meet people without pressure of expectation and shrug off negative experiences without taking rejection personally.
💬 Join the Conversation:
What is your biggest dating concern? What challenges have you run into, either within yourself or interpersonally? Let's talk about it in the comments!
🌈Discussion about how childhood trauma can impact the coming out process, but it does not define it.
🌈Reflections on the importance of spirituality in self-acceptance and joy.
🌈Thoughts on why open relationships require strong communication and self-awareness.
🌈Understanding why coming out is often catalyzed by significant life events or relationships.
✨ Why This Matters:
Understanding and contextualizing our formative experiences is crucial for insight during the coming out in adulthood process. This episode underscores how addressing fears, gaining self-acceptance, and coming out on your own terms can lead individuals to better mental health.
💬 Join the Conversation:
What did you think of Dr. Winterberg's observations? If you're a later-in-lifer and something in this episode really hit home for you, please share in the comments! We'd love to know what resonated.
👉 Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more inspiring stories and advice on navigating life, love, and everything in between!
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