Ambition Without Compromise – Détails, épisodes et analyse

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Ambition Without Compromise

Ambition Without Compromise

Monique R. Shields

Business & Entrepreneuriat

Fréquence : 1 épisode/13j. Total Éps: 88

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Ambition Without Compromise is the space where powerhouse women of color — with a special heart for Black mothers and future mothers — come to redefine success on their own terms.

Hosted by Monique R. Shields, executive coach, entrepreneur, and mentor to women at the highest levels of leadership, this podcast dives into the real challenges women face when juggling bold professional pursuits with the responsibilities of being present partners, mothers, and whole, healthy individuals.

Through honest conversations and powerful stories, you’ll gain insights on:

  • Balancing ambition and freedom without burnout
  • Crafting sustainable work-life integration
  • Protecting your mental and emotional well-being
  • Building intentional communities and seeking mentorship for growth

Whether you're scaling your business, stepping into a higher leadership role, or simply seeking clarity about what success means now, this show offers the tools and stories to help you thrive without compromise.

Follow Monique wherever you listen to podcasts and step into a world where ambition and joy can coexist.


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50 | Top 5 Episodes Since Launching AWC

mercredi 1 janvier 2025Durée 39:04

Welcome 2025 with us as we celebrate our 50th podcast episode! 🎉

Join Monique as she reflects on the top five episodes—ranked by downloads and impact—exploring themes like embracing change, prioritizing well-being, and balancing humanity with wealth.

 Monique also shares exciting news about her upcoming speaking engagement at Rachel Rogers' ROI Millionaire Summit, a conference aimed at empowering marginalized identities to achieve financial success.

Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the podcast, this episode serves as both a guide to the most impactful episodes and a celebration of the journey so far. Thank you for being a crucial part of our community. Here's to another year of growth, reflection, and ambition. 

📢As a special note, Monique is opening her coaching waitlist for February 2025. You can sign up through her website to receive updates and secure a spot for transformative one-on-one coaching.

TOP 5 EPISODES
#1) Episode 25 | Avoiding The Real Work
#2) Episode 26 | When Achievement Is No Longer The Goal
#3) Episode 27 | Scaling Your Humanity With Your Wealth
#4) Episode 29 | Betting On My Wellbeing: Sharing My Practices
#5) Episode 01 | Embracing Your Next Season - How To Let Go Of What's Holding You Back

HONORABLE MENTIONS
#6) Episode 32 | The Right Time Is Not Coming
#7) Episode 30 | How I Became A Podcaster - 1 Year Anniversary Episode!
#8) Episode 12 | Allowing Your Ambition To Evolve with Jereshia Hawk
#9) Episode 31 | When Will It Ever Be Enough?
#10) Episode 28 | Beneath The Struggle To Ask For Help

MENTIONED

GEMS DROPPED
"Take a moment to appreciate yourself for having the level of integrity with yourself that you have had, no matter how big or small the commitment."

"The work that actually unlocks the success that we're deeply craving is the work that we're avoiding."

"When you share from the vulnerable place, you create powerful influence and connect with people as a leader."

STAY IN TOUCH
Follow me on Instagram @moniquershields

49 | Whose Permission Are You Seeking?

mercredi 18 décembre 2024Durée 27:36

Have you ever felt the pull to close one chapter of your life and start a new one, only to be held back by an invisible ball and chain? 

This episode tackles the heart of that struggle, exploring how we can make meaningful shifts in how we work, live, and perceive ourselves. Join Monique on this live broadcast episode as she discusses how to break free from old identities, embrace personal evolution, and seek permission from within. 

Tune in for a transformative conversation that challenges you to rethink the rules you've lived by and invites you to create from a place of artistry and authenticity.


📢As a special note, Monique is opening her coaching waitlist for February 2025. You can sign up through her website to receive updates and secure a spot for transformative one-on-one coaching.


GEMS DROPPED
“Once ​we've ​reached ​a ​certain ​level ​of ​achievement ​and ​success ​in ​our ​lives, ​oftentimes ​then we ​have ​the ​privilege ​of ​looking ​up ​and ​creating ​from ​this ​place ​of ​artistry, ​like ​actually ​being ​a ​creative, ​taking a paintbrush to ​blank ​canvas ​and ​building ​from ​scratch. ​How we ​see ​the ​world, ​how we ​want ​things ​to ​be, ​how we ​want ​to ​exist. ​And ​that ​level ​of ​freedom ​can ​come ​with ​a ​lot ​of ​fear ​and ​it ​can ​be ​disorienting. ​But ​it ​is ​the ​place ​that ​we, ​I ​think, ​all ​deserve ​to ​be ​at.”

“I ​think ​the ​top ​two ​reasons ​that ​I ​hear ​from ​people ​who ​are ​scared ​to ​pivot, ​who ​are ​scared ​to ​make ​the ​leap: ​number ​one, ​there's ​some ​scarcity ​thing ​going ​on ​around money. ​But ​I ​think ​that ​the bigger ​driver ​is ​something ​around ​this ​invisible ​audience ​that ​is ​judging ​our ​every ​move. ​The ​language ​that ​people ​use ​constantly ​is ​’I ​get ​scared of ​what ​people ​will ​think ​or ​what ​people ​will ​say’. Like, what people? Who ​are ​you ​talking ​about? ​Who ​specifically ​are ​you ​referring ​to? ”

“Usually ​there ​are ​specific ​relationships, there ​are ​specific ​groups ​of ​people ​that ​we ​have ​related ​to ​in ​a ​certain ​way, ​who ​have ​seen ​us ​occupy ​a ​certain ​identity, ​who ​have ​seen ​us ​in ​a ​certain ​light ​that ​we ​don't ​want ​to ​break ​our ​current ​image ​with ​them. ​We're ​terrified ​of ​becoming ​something ​unrecognizable ​to ​​these ​people ​or ​a ​specific ​person. ​And ​​the ​way ​these ​show ​up ​in ​our ​thoughts ​and ​in ​our ​minds ​that ​then ​influence ​our ​actions ​is ​what ​I've ​been ​calling an ​invisible ​audience.”

“There's ​a ​physiological ​connection ​to ​the ​ways ​in ​which ​we ​are ​not ​allowing ​ourselves ​to ​show ​up ​in ​the ​fullness ​of ​who ​we ​are and ​we've ​created ​all ​of ​these ​rules ​around ​these ​old ​identities ​that are no ​longer ​going ​to ​serve ​us. ​We ​have ​created ​all ​of ​these ​limitations ​and ​rules ​and ​constraints ​based ​off ​of ​old ​spaces, ​places ​and ​identities ​that ​we've ​had ​to ​occupy ​or ​that ​we've ​chosen ​to ​occupy ​in ​the ​past and ​that ​stuff ​is ​sticking ​with ​us.”

"Sacrifice is meant to be temporary. It is not meant to be the end all, be all, forever state of things."

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

40 | Are You Asking Too Much Of Your Team?

mercredi 14 août 2024Durée 34:04

One of the most challenging aspects of this journey of entrepreneurship is people management. As entrepreneurs, we often find ourselves grappling with delegation and feedback, two crucial elements that can make or break our team dynamics and overall business success.

In this episode, I’m diving deep into these very topics by exploring the common pitfalls entrepreneurs face when trying to delegate tasks and provide feedback, and offering practical solutions to overcome these challenges. Join me as I share personal experiences and the lessons I've learned from coaching clients through the intricate dance of delegation. From setting clear expectations to creating effective checkpoints, I walk you through my thought process and provide actionable advice to help you delegate tasks more effectively and give constructive feedback. 

If you've ever struggled with feeling like your standards are too high or questioned your ability to trust your team, this episode is for you.

MENTIONED
I'm opening three exclusive spots for women CEOs ready to redefine their leadership. If you're at a pivotal moment—launching a new fund, leading a team, or stepping into a new role—and feel the weight of what's next, I’m here to support you. Ready to invest in your growth and tackle challenges head-on? Visit www.moniquershields.com and fill out the simple contact form to get started.

GEMS DROPPED
“When ​we ​delegate ​the ​first ​thing ​we ​go ​to ​is ​the ​initial ​delegation, but I ​think ​that ​we ​skip ​a ​couple ​of ​steps ​when ​we ​jump ​to ​initial ​delegation. We ​bundle ​together ​in ​our ​mind ​that ​expectation ​setting ​and ​delegation ​are ​the ​same ​thing. ​Telling ​someone ​what ​you ​expect ​them ​to ​do ​in ​terms ​of ​steps ​that ​you ​expect ​them ​to ​take, ​people ​that ​you ​expect ​them ​to ​speak ​to, that ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as ​expectation ​setting. Expectation ​setting ​really ​revolves around, have ​I ​actually ​taken ​the ​time ​to ​define ​what ​ownership ​means?”

“I ​think ​the ​other ​part ​of ​​defining ​ownership, ​is ​also ​explaining ​the ​stakes ​in ​the ​context because when ​we ​start ​handing ​over ​decision ​making ​authority - even ​if ​it's very ​low ​stakes ​or ​small ​decisions - they ​still ​have ​an ​impact. ​We ​equip ​our ​team ​members ​with ​what ​they ​need ​to ​increase ​their ​chances ​of ​success when ​we ​explain ​to ​them ​the ​context, ​that ​is ​necessary ​for ​the ​task ​at ​hand ​or ​for ​the ​whatever ​it ​is ​that ​you're ​trying ​to ​hand ​over ​ownership ​for. This ​is ​a ​key ​missing ​piece.”

“Before ​we ​set any ​expectations, we ​have ​to ​recognize ​how ​little ​we ​actually know about ​what ​our ​expectations ​are. Especially ​as ​women ​leaders, ​we ​ ​know ​what ​we ​want, ​but ​we ​don't ​know ​how ​to ​express ​what ​we ​want. ​We're ​not ​practiced ​at ​it. ​We're ​not ​practiced ​at ​both, ​what ​it ​is ​that ​we ​want, ​and ​expressing ​it ​freely ​because ​we ​are ​often ​in ​spaces ​where ​it ​is ​not ​safe ​to ​do ​that. And ​so, number ​one … ​is ​to ​drop ​into ​and ​find ​support ​for ​expressing ​your ​needs. ​This ​flows ​outside ​the ​walls ​of ​your ​business or ​your ​organization. ​This ​is ​about ​how ​you ​are ​also ​showing ​up ​in ​life, ​how ​you ​relate ​to ​what ​it ​is ​that ​you ​need…  ​How ​you ​express ​that. ​Period.“

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 


39 | On People Pleasing

mercredi 31 juillet 2024Durée 32:33

In this live-recorded episode, we explore the pervasive issue of people-pleasing, its roots, impacts, and the paths to overcoming it. 

This behavior, often rooted in a desire to be liked and accepted, can have profound impacts on both our personal and professional lives. Join me for personal stories, client experiences, and actionable steps to help you reclaim your voice and set healthier boundaries. Learning to love and accept ourselves, flaws and all, is a vital part of the journey towards breaking free from this behavior.

If you're ready to reclaim your voice, tune in to this enlightening episode. It's time to prioritize your own well-being and create a life that truly reflects who you are. 

GEMS DROPPED

“People pleasing ​is ​symptomatic ​of ​feeling ​unseen, ​going ​for ​long ​periods ​of ​your ​life, ​probably ​in ​your ​youth, ​probably ​having ​to ​deal ​with ​some ​of ​our ​traumas, ​​where ​we've ​been ​unseen. “

“​I ​want ​to ​be ​really ​clear ​that ​people ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as​ being ​”weak”, ​or, not ​having ​a ​perspective ​or ​being passive. Some ​of ​the ​most ​hard ​hitting, ​ambitious, ​aggressive, ​in ​all ​the ​best ​ways, women ​that ​I ​know ​also ​identify ​as ​being ​people ​pleasers. ​Two ​things ​can ​be ​true ​at ​the ​same ​time, ​y'all. ​People ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as ​playing ​second ​fiddle ​and ​always ​taking ​a ​backseat.”

“You ​are ​in ​the ​driver's ​seat ​of ​the ​choices ​you ​make, ​no ​matter ​what ​choices ​you ​make. ​This ​podcast, ​Ambition ​Without Compromise, ​is ​about ​you ​designing ​what ​ambition ​looks ​like. ​And ​I ​think ​oftentimes ​when ​you ​really ​think ​about ​it, ​one ​of ​the ​most ​ambitious ​things, ​if ​I'm ​honest, ​that ​a ​black ​woman ​in ​this ​world ​could ​do ​is ​to ​decide ​against ​all ​odds ​that ​she ​is ​prioritizing ​just ​her ​basic ​well-​being ​over ​anything ​else. Over ​career, ​over ​accolades, ​over ​anything. ​And ​that ​could ​look ​a ​lot ​of ​different ​ways.”

“Our ​bodies ​are ​our ​bodies. We ​are ​still ​real ​flesh ​and ​blood ​human ​beings. ​We ​are ​not ​supernatural. ​We ​are ​not ​meant ​to ​take ​on ​all ​the ​burdens ​of ​the ​world. ​We ​have ​got ​to ​stop ​convincing ​ourselves ​that, ​like, ​I ​can ​hold ​it. ​ ​They're ​not ​built ​like ​me, ​so ​I ​guess ​I ​better ​handle ​it. ​Like, ​at ​some ​point, it ​will ​catch ​up ​with ​you. ​​1000% ​guaranteed and ​on ​that ​day, ​you ​won't ​be ​able ​to ​always ​just ​walk ​it ​back.”

“I ​think ​all ​of ​this ​boils ​down ​to a ​very ​fundamental ​need ​that ​all ​of ​us ​have ​as ​humans, ​which ​is ​unconditional ​love. It's ​like ​the ​ooey ​gooey ​center ​of ​it ​all. ​I'm ​talking ​about ​leadership. ​I'm ​talking ​about, ​you ​know, ​showing ​up ​in ​spaces ​and ​holding ​things ​and ​pleasing ​folks. ​And ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​investors, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​team, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​clients, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​parents, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​extended ​family, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​spouse, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​kids. ​Right? ​But ​when ​we ​operate ​like ​this, ​I ​think ​a ​big ​part ​of ​it ​is ​that ​we ​move ​into ​​circumstances, ​in ​general, ​in ​life, ​where ​we ​just ​don't ​expect ​unconditional ​love. ​We ​don't ​know ​what ​that ​looks ​like. ​We ​have ​not ​been ​taught ​that ​and ​not ​in ​a ​blanketed ​way. ​And ​it's ​what ​we ​crave ​most, ​where ​it's ​just ​like, ​I ​can ​be ​me  ​and ​I'll ​still ​be ​accepted. ​I ​can ​want ​what ​I ​need ​too, and ​still ​be ​loved. I’m ​deserving ​of ​it ​all.”

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 


38 | Scared To Hire

mercredi 17 juillet 2024Durée 43:54

In this special behind-the-scenes episode, I pull back the covers on my personal journey as a CEO and entrepreneur sharing my fears, challenges, and breakthroughs. From hiring hurdles to business growth, I get real and raw about the ups and downs of my five-year journey of building my business and the challenges of making my first full-time hire. 

If you've ever hesitated to invest in yourself or your business, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in now and discover how you can move past your fears and build the business of your dreams.

MENTIONED
12 | Allowing Your Ambition To Evolve with Jereshia Hawk


GEMS DROPPED
“Inevitably ​when ​we ​move ​through and we ​get ​one ​new ​level ​of ​clarity, a ​new ​barrier ​gets ​introduced. ​When ​we ​break ​through ​one ​ceiling, ​a ​new ​ceiling ​all ​of ​a ​sudden ​appears.”

“I ​had ​begun ​to ​buy ​into ​this ​sort ​of ​vague, ​emotional ​reaction, ​and ​told ​myself ​a ​story ​that ​was ​irresponsible ​to ​hire ​someone ​until ​I ​have ​this ​feeling ​that ​I ​can ​support ​them. ​And ​that's ​not ​what ​hiring ​is ​like. The ​actual ​exchange ​of ​expectations ​and ​the ​resources ​and ​the ​energy ​that ​flows ​between ​you ​and ​your ​team ​members ​or ​those ​who ​are ​working ​for ​your ​company, ​​you're ​not ​paying ​to ​take ​care ​of ​them. And ​so ​that ​doesn't ​have ​anything ​to ​do ​with ​my ​values ​around ​​being ​a ​thoughtful ​and ​kind ​and ​compassionate ​person ​and ​leader, ​right. How ​I ​will ​treat ​people, ​how ​I ​actually ​care ​about ​whoever ​works ​with ​me, ​their ​humanity, ​like ​I'm ​still ​me ​and I ​don't ​have ​to ​place ​this ​additional ​weight ​on ​the ​relationship ​that ​doesn't ​need ​to ​exist. ​It ​just ​really ​has ​no ​place.”

“We ​all ​need ​this. ​We ​need ​other ​people ​to ​help ​us ​catch ​those ​blind ​spots ​and ​shift ​our ​perspective. ​Otherwise, ​we're ​trapped ​in ​our ​own ​way ​of ​thinking, ​and ​we ​overcomplicate ​stuff. ​We ​make ​things ​harder ​than ​they ​need ​to ​be and ​it's ​just ​because ​certain ​things ​are ​hidden ​or ​there’re ​certain ​angles ​that ​we're ​just ​not ​exploring.”

“I ​think ​it's ​important ​to ​get yourself ​into ​conversation ​not ​only ​with your ​coach, ​because ​I ​would ​not ​have ​made ​the ​connections ​to ​the ​undercurrents ​right ​around ​the ​belonging, ​around ​the ​messiness ​if ​I ​had ​not ​already ​laid ​the ​groundwork, ​which ​with ​the ​deeper ​level ​work ​that ​I ​do ​with ​my ​coach ​and ​that ​I ​have ​done ​with ​my ​therapists. ​But ​these ​kind ​of [questions], ‘What's ​the ​next ​step? ​Where ​are ​we ​going ​to ​take ​it ​next?’ ​Not ​sitting ​in ​that ​alone. ​It ​makes ​all ​the ​difference.”

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

37 | The Power Of Prioritizing Friendship And Connection

mercredi 3 juillet 2024Durée 36:44

As a coach, facilitator, and speaker, I have come to realize that our dreams don't always welcome us with open arms. The journey towards our aligned future can often feel lonely and unwelcoming, especially when we are made to feel isolated.

Join me as I share personal stories and revelations about overcoming isolation and finding support in our journeys. From a significant encounter in 2018 that solidified my commitment to working with women of color, to the transformative power of finding and fostering authentic connections during the pandemic, this episode is a heartfelt testimony to the necessity of community for thriving.

Tune in to discover how prioritizing connection can unlock your potential and lead to greater success in both your personal and professional life.

MENTIONED
I'm opening three exclusive spots for women CEOs ready to redefine their leadership. If you're at a pivotal moment—launching a new fund, leading a team, or stepping into a new role—and feel the weight of what's next, I’m here to support you. Ready to invest in your growth and tackle challenges head-on? Visit www.moniquershields.com and fill out the simple contact form to get started.

GEMS DROPPED
“Success ​requires ​community. Success requires ​belonging. ​Someone ​needs ​to ​be ​​looking ​out ​for ​you, ​holding ​space ​for ​you, ​sending ​up ​prayers ​for ​you, thinking ​of ​you, ​knowing ​what's ​going ​on ​with ​you, ​knowing ​a ​few ​layers ​deep, ​understanding ​the ​dimensions ​of ​your ​life, ​because ​enough ​of ​them ​overlap ​with ​theirs, ​and ​because ​they've ​spent ​the ​time, ​the ​intention ​of ​both ​working ​on ​themselves ​and ​making ​it ​known ​that ​they ​are ​serious ​and ​invested ​in ​your ​success, ​that ​they ​want ​you ​to ​win. ​There's ​no, ​like, ​weird, ​threatening, ​frenemy ​energy ​going ​on, ​right? “

“Your ​primary ​concern ​must ​be ​about ​connection. ​It ​must ​be ​about ​community. ​ ​It ​must ​be ​meeting ​the ​needs.”

“As ​a ​black ​woman, we're ​used ​to ​counting ​on ​ourselves. ​And ​so ​the ​help ​that ​we ​really deep, ​deep, ​deep, ​deep ​down, ​that ​desire, ​the ​vulnerability, ​the ​sadness, ​the ​emotions, ​the ​joy ​that ​we ​wish ​we ​could ​not ​only ​express, ​but ​to ​be ​witnessed ​and ​to ​be ​held ​in ​and ​celebrated ​in ​or ​whatever ​needs ​to ​be ​amplified ​or ​just ​held, ​ ​we ​don't ​know ​how ​to ​do ​that. ​Nobody ​has ​taught ​us ​how ​to ​do ​that. ​ ​And ​so ​it ​is ​the ​medicine ​for ​so ​many ​things. “

“There's ​a ​whole ​different ​experience ​of ​human ​interaction ​in ​the ​world. ​And ​I ​think ​we ​think ​about ​this ​just ​for ​our ​kids. ​We ​are ​greatly ​impacted ​by ​this, ​• ​and ​I ​think ​it ​is ​costing ​us ​dearly. ​And ​I ​think ​for ​those ​of ​us ​who ​have ​layer ​upon ​layer ​of ​subjugated ​and ​or ​marginalized ​identities, ​however ​you ​hold ​that ​language ​in ​your ​mind, ​​it's ​even ​more ​so. So we ​are ​under ​attack, ​like, ​our ​humanity. ​And ​what ​becomes ​possible ​for ​us ​is ​under ​attack ​because ​of  ​what ​kinds ​of ​patterns ​and ​practices ​have ​become ​normalized ​in ​our ​societies.”

“When ​belonging ​is ​blocked, ​or ​you're ​not ​getting ​enough ​of ​that, ​it ​has ​far ​reaching ​impacts ​over ​the ​rest ​of ​your ​life. ​It ​has ​everything ​to ​do ​with ​how ​much ​money ​you ​believe ​you ​can ​make ​as ​well. Make ​it ​happen ​like ​you're ​fighting ​for ​your ​life, ​because ​you ​are.”

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

36 | Learning How To Do Nothing

mercredi 19 juin 2024Durée 39:44

In today's fast-paced world, the concept of truly resting and enjoying success often feels elusive. Many of us are caught in a cycle of hyper productivity and achievement, constantly striving for the next milestone without pausing to reflect or recharge. 

Inspired by a friend's sabbatical and a compelling story from Will Smith's autobiography, I’m examining the internal struggle and unexpected discomfort that comes with stepping away from the grind.

If you're seeking ways to incorporate rest into your life, or simply curious about the journey of self-discovery and enjoyment, this episode offers valuable reflections and practical advice to help you embrace stillness and find balance. Tune in as I dive into the art of stillness and explore what it means to remove yourself from the relentless pace of life to reconnect with your true self.


MENTIONED
The Will Smith Autobiography Will by Will Smith


GEMS DROPPED
“Many ​of ​us ​have ​the ​privilege ​to ​do ​this, ​to ​actually ​take ​sabbaticals ​or ​to ​open ​a ​new ​chapter ​in ​your ​life ​where ​your ​work, ​your ​business, ​your ​profession ​is ​not ​at ​the ​center, ​at ​the ​core ​of ​your ​identity.”

“Some ​of ​us ​have ​been ​​working ​full ​time ​employees ​since ​we ​were ​very ​small ​children. ​Whether ​we ​were ​going ​elsewhere, ​outside ​of ​our ​household ​to ​work ​or ​whether ​we ​were ​energetically, ​emotionally ​laboring, ​we've ​been ​like ​many ​of ​us ​have ​been ​laboring ​for ​a ​very ​long ​time. ​And ​so ​when ​that ​threshold ​arises ​where ​it's ​time ​for ​my ​sabbatical, ​it's ​gonna ​vary.”

“Without ​the ​expressed ​belief ​that ​I ​am ​working ​towards ​a ​sabbatical, ​some ​sort ​of ​extended ​break ​to ​pull ​yourself ​away ​and ​to ​reconnect ​with ​yourself ​and ​life…whatever. I ​think ​that ​that's ​what ​we're ​quietly ​playing ​for, ​but ​I ​don't ​think ​that ​many ​of ​us ​have ​actually ​taken ​ourselves ​to ​the ​place.”

“The ​question ​is​ what ​do ​we ​actually ​think ​we ​want ​and ​what ​we ​truly ​will ​find ​on ​the ​other ​side ​of this ​freedom ​to ​rest, ​the ​stillness, ​the ​pause ​that ​we ​all ​keep ​saying ​that ​we ​want?”

“I think ​we ​focus ​a ​lot ​on, ​like, ​I ​need ​to ​have ​a ​hobby, ​I ​need ​to ​have ​fun. ​And ​I ​think ​a ​lot ​of ​that ​just ​comes ​back ​down ​to ​like ​sit ​down ​either ​with ​yourself ​or ​someone ​else, ​however ​you ​process ​out ​your ​thoughts. If ​you ​can't ​think ​of ​like ​what ​am ​I ​into? ​What ​am ​I ​interested ​in ​besides ​making ​money, ​besides ​doing, ​you ​know, ​achieving ​things ​and ​you ​know, ​like ​working, ​what ​am ​I ​into? ​​Go ​back ​to ​your ​younger ​self ​and ​think ​about ​what ​brought ​you ​delight ​and ​joy ​and ​surprise ​and ​what ​really ​intrigued ​you ​as ​a ​kid. ​What ​was ​something ​that ​you ​used ​to ​spend ​hours ​on. ​It ​may ​not ​be ​that ​exact ​thing ​today ​in ​its ​exact ​form, ​but ​some ​continuity ​of ​that ​still ​exists ​within ​you.”

“Build ​yourself ​a ​bridge ​back ​to ​yourself ​first.”

“Until ​he ​had ​had ​that ​kind ​of ​stillness ​experience ​where ​it's ​like, ​I ​have ​nowhere ​to ​go ​but ​to ​be ​here ​with ​me ​and ​to ​actually ​feel ​what ​it ​is ​that ​is ​trying ​to ​be ​felt. ​That ​is ​the ​thing ​that ​I ​think ​we ​are ​avoiding ​most.”


STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

35 | The Courage To Pursue Peace With Hillarie Maddox of BlackGirlCountryLiving

mercredi 5 juin 2024Durée 56:15

Are you yearning for a change in your life, especially one that brings you closer to your true self? This episode might just be the nudge you need. 

In this episode, we unfold the essence of rewilding – a term that transcends its ecological roots to embody a spiritual awakening and connection with the natural world. Hillarie Maddox, a mother, aspiring farmer, community builder and the visionary behind Black Girl Country Living, shares her profound shift from the corporate grind to a life steeped in nature, healing, and community on Whidbey Island.

Join in as Hillarie recounts her journey– from her aspirations for big-city success to her courageous leap into a life that truly resonates with her soul. She discusses the challenges and triumphs of transitioning multiple times, the power of visibility in attracting life-altering opportunities, and the importance of aligning one's work with deeply held values.

Her story is a powerful reminder that it's never too late to seek a more fulfilling path, and that transitions are not just about the physical move from one place to another but also about the spiritual passage from one state of being to another. 

GEMS DROPPED
“When ​we ​allow ​ourselves ​to ​be ​free ​and ​have ​the ​privilege… ​​​it ​really ​ends ​up ​being ​like ​​coming ​back ​into ​this ​formative ​early ​part ​of myself, ​this ​foundational ​part ​of ​me ​as ​a ​child ​to ​live ​a ​fuller ​expression ​of ​that ​kid now.” - Monique R. Shields

“When ​I ​first ​started ​getting ​into ​gardening, ​​and ​homesteading ​and ​thinking ​about, ​like, ​​you ​know, ​this ​is ​something ​that ​I ​have ​to ​do ​all ​on ​my ​own. ​And ​then ​realizing, ​like, ​homesteaders, ​farmers, ​they ​don't ​do ​this ​on ​their ​own, they ​work ​in ​connection ​to ​all ​of ​these ​other ​people, and ​you ​can't ​possibly ​grow ​everything ​on ​your ​own. ​And ​so it's ​been ​like ​this ​sort ​of ​expansive rethinking of ​what ​this ​lifestyle ​actually ​means. ​And ​​that ​understanding ​has ​trickled ​into ​all ​parts ​of ​my ​life, ​including ​my ​career.”- Hillarie Maddox 

“Many ​of ​us ​are ​still ​building ​our ​careers ​off ​of ​that ​very ​old ​dream. There's ​nothing ​wrong ​with ​having ​that ​dream, ​like, ​whatever ​age ​you ​have ​it ​at, ​and ​you ​pursue ​it ​and ​then decide, ​actually, ​this ​is ​not ​what ​I ​thought ​it ​was ​going ​to ​be ​and ​then making ​a ​new ​decision. ​But ​sometimes ​we ​never ​hit ​that ​point ​or ​allow ​ourselves ​to ​hit ​the ​point ​of ​reckoning ​where ​it's ​just ​like, ​this ​ain't ​it. It ​may ​be “​it”, ​but ​sometimes ​it's ​not ​it, ​many ​times ​it's ​not ​it.” - Monique R. Shields

“If ​you ​don't ​know ​what ​your ​values ​are, ​then ​you're ​making ​decisions ​from ​all ​of ​these ​different ​inputs ​from ​who ​knows ​where ​in ​your ​life and ​then ​it ​creates this ​really ​out ​of ​touch, ​out ​of ​alignment ​way ​of ​living.“ - Hillarie Maddox 

GUEST LINKS
Learn more about Hillarie Maddox | Website | Instagram | Substack
If you are looking for retreat space to host your programming around climate justice, BIPOC wellness, or land-based healing work, connect with Hillarie at hillarie@whidbeyinsitute.org

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

34 | Perfectionism & The Settled Place We're Seeking

mercredi 22 mai 2024Durée 44:46

Have you ever felt like you're constantly chasing a moment of peace, where everything on your to-do list is checked off, and you can finally relax? This pursuit of the 'settled place' might be more ingrained in your daily life than you realize. 

There's a way to shift from this endless cycle of striving for perfection to embracing an abundant boss mindset. A mindset that allows you to assume possibility, to believe that space and resources you need will be available to you, and to prioritize your own well-being alongside your ambitions.

Join me as we unpack the layers of societal expectation that have taught us to stifle our emotions, to maintain composure at the cost of our authentic selves. I also share personal anecdotes and insights into how modeling emotional honesty can shape our environments, encourage others, and foster a culture of genuine well-being. Tune in to learn more. 


GEMS DROPPED
“An ​abundant ​boss ​mindset ​is ​a ​mindset ​around ​leadership ​where you ​assume ​possibility. ​​You ​assume that ​the ​space ​you ​require ​is ​available ​to ​you. ​You ​assume ​that your ​needs ​shall ​be ​met. ​You ​assume ​that ​if ​you ​take ​up ​the ​space ​it’s ​gonna ​be ​okay. There's ​a ​way ​that ​we ​kind ​of ​assume ​that ​we ​can ​have ​our ​needs ​met ​and ​that the ​things ​get ​done… ​at ​the ​same ​damn ​time.” 

“Some ​of ​the ​most ​important ​mental resource ​tools ​I've ​honestly ​ever ​picked ​up ​were ​between ​therapy ​and ​the ​fact ​that ​I ​worked ​for ​four ​years ​at ​a ​mental ​health ​startup ​where ​I ​learned ​cognitive ​behavioral ​therapy (CBT) in and out.”

“One ​of ​the ​greatest ​lessons ​that ​I ​learned in ​my ​coaching ​training is ​how ​emotions ​move. ​Emotions ​are ​emotions. ​There are ​no ​good ​emotions, there are ​no ​bad ​emotions… ​emotions ​are ​just ​energy. ​ ​They ​are ​energy ​that ​needs ​to ​flow ​through ​us. Our body ​is ​engaging ​with ​the ​world ​and ​energetically ​reacting ​to ​the ​experiences ​that ​we ​have, ​the ​relationships ​that ​we ​keep and ​when ​our ​emotions ​come ​up, ​as ​adults, ​we ​have ​been ​trained ​to work ​them ​on ​down, ​to ​make ​them ​feasible, ​to ​make ​them ​workable, ​or ​to ​shut ​them ​off, ​to ​shut ​ourselves ​off, ​and ​to ​go into numb ​mode ​just ​to ​survive ​the ​moment ​because ​we're ​not ​socially ​given ​the ​space ​to ​do ​much ​more ​than ​that ​on ​a ​da -to -day ​basis.”

“This ​craving ​of ​arriving ​at ​the ​settled ​place, ​this ​desire ​to ​get ​ahead ​of ​this, ​to ​get ​to ​the ​point ​where you feel ​peace ​and ​confident ​and ​on ​top ​of ​things. ​I'm ​not ​saying ​there's ​anything ​wrong ​with ​that, ​but ​I ​think ​that ​what ​we ​are ​not ​recognizing ​in ​that ​process ​or ​in ​that ​craving ​is ​that ​it's ​not ​just ​so ​much ​as ​a ​desire ​to ​get ​to ​a ​place ​as ​it ​is ​I ​think ​a ​desire ​to ​get ​away ​from. Because ​what's ​happening ​is ​we're ​just ​scared ​to ​be ​present ​to ​what ​is so ​we ​need ​to ​get ​somewhere ​else where ​there ​aren't ​the ​complicated, ​hard ​feelings ​there. ​​Sadness ​is ​not ​there. ​Rage, anger ​and ​frustration ​are ​not ​there. ​It's ​just ​pure ​satisfaction ​and ​rest ​and ​peace, ​which ​we ​all ​deserve. ​And ​I ​want ​to ​argue ​today ​that ​we ​also ​deserve ​to ​have ​regular ​space ​to ​feel ​all ​of ​the ​other ​emotions ​as ​well.“


STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

33 | Unpacking Trauma And Achievement with Psychologist Andrea Michel

mercredi 8 mai 2024Durée 59:23

In this episode, we explore the intricate web of trauma, perfectionism and high achievement with Andrea Michel. 

As a developmental psychologist, trauma-sensitive leadership coach, and former corporate badass, Andrea peels back the layers of what it means to be a high achiever, how our childhood traumas shape our professional lives, and the subtle yet significant distinction between burnout and trauma responses in the workplace. She offers a compassionate lens through which to view our inner perfectionist – not as something to be vanquished, but as a part of ourselves that requires understanding and, if we choose, healing.


Whether you're a leader seeking to create a trauma-sensitive environment or an individual ready to confront the roots of your perfectionism, Andrea's expertise will guide you toward a path of self-awareness and empowerment. Press play to join the conversation.


Some key points discussed in this episode include:

  • Understanding decision-making
  • High-functioning behavior, overachievement, and childhood trauma
  • Parenting and trauma
  • Forming relationships based solely on achievement
  • Self-awareness and Healing
  • Differentiating burnout and trauma response 

GEMS DROPPED
“Simply ​put, ​trauma ​is ​any ​experience ​or ​any ​event that ​overwhelms ​our ​internal ​resources. ​​And ​when ​we ​feel ​out ​of ​control ​of ​a ​situation. So ​in ​other ​words, ​trauma ​is ​anything ​that ​happens ​to ​us ​where ​we ​feel ​like ​we ​have ​no ​control ​over ​the ​situation ​and ​we're ​basically ​stressed ​out ​to ​the ​max. And ​so ​I ​like ​to ​say, ​when ​we ​think ​about ​trauma, ​there ​is the ​event, ​there ​the ​experience, ​and ​then ​there ​is the ​expectations. ​So ​the ​event ​is ​the ​thing ​that ​happens, the ​experience ​is ​how ​we ​interpret ​that ​thing ​that ​happened and ​then ​the ​expectation ​is ​how ​do ​others ​around ​us ​respond ​to ​that ​situation.” - Andrea Michel

“What ​I ​come ​into ​contact ​with, ​even ​with ​some ​​clients ​in ​session, ​sometime ​we're ​asking, ​like, ​where ​does ​that ​come ​from? ​Why ​is ​that ​showing ​up? ​Why ​is ​that ​happening? ​What ​was ​that ​about? ​But ​we ​can't ​take ​it ​much ​further. ​And ​I ​just ​feel ​like ​sometimes ​it's ​just ​another ​reminder ​that ​you ​can't ​really ​do ​this ​alone. ​You ​can, ​many ​times ​only ​get ​yourself ​so ​far, because ​we ​can't ​see ​outside. ​We ​can't ​see ​outside ​of ​how ​we ​see.” - Monique R. Shields


“We ​have ​to ​unburden ​ourselves ​of ​things ​that ​we ​ultimately ​cannot ​control ​and ​we're ​not ​supposed ​to ​anyway.” - Monique R. Shields


“If ​you ​want ​to ​stop ​repeating the same ​cycle, ​you ​have ​to ​heal ​the ​trauma.” - Andrea Michel

MENTIONED

EP. 14 Spiritual Knowing and Self-Integrity with Josie Rosario 


GUEST LINKS
Learn more about Andrea Michel | Website | The ​Global ​Center ​for Trauma | Private Coaching 


STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.


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