A Life Less Ordinary with Sophie Elwes – Détails, épisodes et analyse

For this epsiode Sophie is interviewed by her good friend Sarah Orr (who appeared in series two of A Life Less Ordinary with Sophie Elwes). Sophie tells her story from when she sustained her spinal cord injury back in 2011 after falling from a roof terrace. They discuss the aftermath, from spending nearly six weeks in an induced coma with 40% chance of survival, to going to Stoke Mandeville spinal injuries unit to be rehabiltated and learn how to live independently again. 

Sophie talks about the challenges found in the outside world after leaving hospital and about the life-changing experience she had on a Back Up ski course in Colorado a year post-injury. She shares how she got into ski racing and the challenges and learnings that came with that.

As the host and producer of this podcast Sophie shares her highlights and her favourite pieces of advice from across the series, finishing off with a piece of advice of her own.

 

Jambo Truong is a practitioner of integrative medicine with a specialism in complimentary medicine and therapies who has impressive credentials and a vast knowledge and repertoire of different practices.

Growing up in South Wales and feeling like an outsider as being from an ethnic minority, as well as being queer, he faced a lot of bullying and had to learn to defend himself. Witnessing his sister passing away from an asthma attack at a young age set him on a path to wanting to help others, as well as introducing him to meditation.

As a student he volunteered at a drug and alcohol centre which we talk about in some depth and he shares a strong commonality found amongst service users, ways to help people 'find their spark', and an intimate understanding of the root of substance abuse issues.

Jambo is a bodyworker and talks about the diagnostic tools he uses from looking at the positives in a person and what he can tell from a person's face alone.

He has some incredible advice around what we can all do to help ourselves and a profound philosophy about trauma.

Follow Jambo on Instagram here and learn more about him via his website here.

Alexandra Adams was the first guest on this podcast, and the inspiration behind starting A Life Less Ordinary. She's  also a medical student who is deaf-blind. In 2020 she went into hospital with symptoms of an undiagnosed chronic illness and was there for 17 months during which time she massively deteriorated and experienced some shocking mistreatment at the hands of medical staff and some hugely traumatic experiences, including having covid in hospital in the midst of the pandemic. Alexandra shares these experiences as well as that of finding her community online of others with chronic illnesses.

She tells me of how earlier this year she managed to find a renewed sense of purpose and was able to get back on her medicine degree, as well as a job as a phlebotomist. Sharing her story more recently on Tiktok she blew it up with her myth-busting videos about being a deaf-blind medical student. Alexandra talks openly in this interview about her mental health struggles and she shares some wonderful advice on how to cope with setbacks.

TW: In this episode Alexandra tells me about some shocking stories of mistreatment and lack of care whilst in hospital. It is acknowledged that staff were under immense pressure and there was a huge lack of resources and staffing during this period. Fingers are not being pointed. Alexandra is merely sharing her experiences and her learning from this challenging time. 

Find Alexandra at @alexandraelaineadams and Sophie at @sophieelwes.

Grace Spence Green is a junior doctor and a wheelchair user. Growing up, she had her heart set on becoming a doctor from the age of eight and was a keen competitive climber. In an extraordinary incident in 2018, while she studying at medical school, a man jumped from a height and fell on her, causing her to break her back and sustain a spinal cord injury, becoming a wheelchair user. Choosing not to dwell on the incident, or indeed the man (who has since served time for GBH), Grace returned to medical school and has since started working as a junior doctor in London. 

Grace and I speak about the incident and her feelings around it, the man, and she tells me why she isn’t angry about the situation. She shares how others, and the tabloids, reacted to what happened and her feelings around that.

We speak about Grace’s experience of being a patient at the rehab centre and about her frustrations about that time and the spinal rehab set up. She tells me about how it was for her, returning to the community, and then back to medical school and Grace opens up about her own internalised ableism she realised she had initially and prior to her injury.

It is the boundaries she’s set and her own confidence, she tells me, that has enabled her to establish herself and her stance as a medic who uses a wheelchair. We talk about ‘taking space’ and Grace shares some fantastic insights about this, as well as how she has acquired ‘radical acceptance’ about her situation - choosing to use her situation to enable her to ‘step into her power’ rather than being a victim of circumstance.

Grace shares some fantastic advice for people who have acquired a disability, as well as some words of wisdom for people who might be struggling with something in their lives.

Grace has recently become a Trustee at spinal injuries charity, Back Up and is most active on Twitter.

You can reach out to Sophie on Instagram.

This week I had the pleasure of interviewing Mark Berry who is my friend and personal trainer. We’ve known each other for years and every time I have a session with him, we end up deep in conversation and he is a real fountain of wisdom and life advice, as well as a great trainer.

Growing up on a council estate in Wandsworth, Mark has always been committed to helping others (alongside his love of sport, mainly football). He started back in the 1990s doing care work in a residential care home. Along the way he’s picked up a lot of knowledge working alongside physiotherapists, he trained as a personal trainer, gym instructor and aerobic instructor and has worked at One Trust for 32 years as a care worker for people with learning disabilities and complex and challenging needs. We know each other from his ‘side hustle’ as a personal trainer in my local gym. His philosophy of training is that it is for everyone. ‘If someone wants to, we’ll find a way’ is what he says of this - he’s all about ‘yes we can, not no we can’t.’

To mix things up, we recorded this from the gym, to give listeners a flavour of our relationship and the sort of conversations we have (in between rounds of boxing) - the sound quality is a little compromised but hopefully you can still enjoy Mark’s wise words. 

In this episode we talk about the importance of taking time out, remaining calm and being patient. Mark opens up about his realisations of his self-worth and how he uses this learning to support and lift up others. We talk about training, how it’s good to challenge yourself, and about the limitations put on us particularly in childhood by our upbringing, schooling, medical diagnoses, and we discuss how important it is to question and challenge these. 

As you can hear from the episode, people come in and out and its a true reflection of Mark’s character and how friendly he is. 

I know, for me, my sessions with him provide me with mental health support as much as physical, and we talk about this, particularly for men, and how the gym can provide a safe space for men to talk and get things off their chests, under non-intimidating circumstances.

You can follow Mark or Sophie on Instagram.

Gail Muller is an adventurer, educator and author. Growing up in Cornwall, she was sporty and outdoorsy, but at 14 was told she’d need to use a wheelchair by the age of 40 due to muscular-skeletal issues. She has an extraordinary story of her journey of experiencing chronic pain for 15 years, and dedicating much of that time to finding a solution, which she later did, for the most part.

At 41 she embarked on one of the toughest treks in the world - over 2200 miles in the USA - The Appalachian Trial. She wrote a book about it called Unlost which is an uplifting and moving account of her  journey in the wild outdoors,  dealing with extreme elements and facing her fears. 

In this conversation Gail emphasises how she got into hiking later than most, and encourages others, particularly women, to occupy that role of adventurer too. We speak about her  journey with  chronic pain, having learned a great deal about it and put herself through a multitude of experiences including fasting in a Thai jungle for twelve days, Gail  offers up some great advice for listeners who might be dealing with pain. 

On being told by a doctor that he did not know what the problem was, we discuss the importance of being cautiously critically analytical of professional opinion, asking questions, and not taking a doctor’s advice to ‘give up hope.’

Inspired by Bill Bryson, and after losing a friend to suicide, Gail tells me about her decision to embark on this mammoth trip. She  shares with me her greatest fears, including that which came from being raped as a teenager. Having unpicked some of these, Gail has ‘done the work’  which has enabled her to recognise that these fears reside in her head, and finds ways  to learn how to manage them, which she graciously shares.

We talk about the saying ‘hike your own hike’ - a important metaphor to accept that we’re all on our own journeys, and she tells me how she made peace with doing things ‘her way.’

We speak about tactics for resilience, about surrender and what being so exposed to the harshest of nature’s elements, did for her.

*Trigger warning: during this episode there is mention of sexual assault and suicide

Find out more about Gail on her website or her Instagram. And pick up her book, Unlost.

Find out more about Sophie on Instagram.

Based partly in Carlsbad, CA and in Keauhou, Hawaii, Kalim Smith and I met a few years back at a ski race in New Hampshire, after which we discovered we had a mutual friend/relative and since then we’ve enjoyed some great times in both London and California, with some wonderful conversations.

After becoming paralysed in 2011 he recognised the healing power of plants and now spends much of his time growing gourds to make traditional rhythm instruments in both San Diego and Hawaii. He’s made them for some of Hawaii’s most prominent musicians, teachers and dancers.

Prior to his injury Kalim achieved a great deal, with his fingers in multiple pies. He was studying for a PHD at the time of his injury, while teaching Native American languages and working as a stunt actor on the side, amongst other things. Coming from an interracial family, Kalim also has a strong interest in genealogy.

In this episode we talk about our shared adventurous spirit and how our spinal cord injuries fuelled that side of us, in many ways. We talk about what it's like not to laugh for two years or more and how caring for something else can be nurturing, whether it be a pet or plants.

Kalim talks about the importance of connecting with someone in a similar situation after such an injury and he reflects on how difficult it was for him initially post injury and how he found his way, through recalibrating his self of self and finding things to be grateful for.

Kalim is a keen plant man and shares his enthusiasm for the healing power of plants and whole foods. He  experiences extreme nerve pain and has found that nature has been the greatest healer.  He also shares a recipe for turmeric tea - which has potent anti-inflammatory properties. 

We mention the spinal injuries charity Back Up and their mentoring service.

Head of Wellbeing at leading employee wellbeing platform, Better Space, James Dashwood is a father, a husband, and a recovering alcoholic. 

Sober for seven years he has been on a journey of introspection where he’s learned so much about himself, about addiction and about what it means to be content.

He shares his story about growing up and how he recognises that he used external things to soothe internal pain. James is remarkably candid in reflecting about how he sees himself, his desire to control others, and to connect, for which he recognises he used alcohol to do so.

He talks about AA and the 12 step programme and why it's been transformative for him. We speak about expectations,  how releasing them can improve relationships and about why he believes addiction is a spiritual matter.

James talks about his experience of depression and anxiety and how, often the things that help the most such as talking to others,  seem like the hardest thing to do at the time and he shares some of his tools that help him.

We talk about success and how its traditionally measured, and how we both recognise that contentment, over happiness, is something to strive for.

And we chat about the importance of taking responsibility and of the power of perception, in Shakespeare's words: 'There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.'

We also mention a few books during the episode:

Nothing Special: Living Zen by Charlotte Joko Beck  

Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl

The Choice by Edith Egar

Solve for Happy by Mo Gawdat

Find Sophie on Instagram and find out more about BetterSpace here.

Andrew Cotton is a big wave surfer and Red Bull athlete. Growing up in North Devon, he started at 7 and it became his life. He left school and worked in a local surfboard factory until the age of 25 to fund his surf trips. At this point he figured it wasn’t going to sustain him financially so he re-trained as a plumber but this made it clear to him that his real passion lay in big wave surfing. So, with a friend he set about creating online content which, combined with his talent, led him to picking up some sponsors which enabled him to follow his dreams.

He spends much of his time in Nazare in Portugal which is home to the biggest surf able waves in the world. It was there in November 2017 that he broke his back surfing a 75ft wave in a huge wipeout. Thankfully he made a full recovery and a year later her was back surfing those mammoth waves.

Cotty and I met at a Wings for Life event, which is the Red Bull charity who’s goal is to find a cure for spinal cord injury where he ran a breathwork session. It was here I experienced first hand the effects that the breath can have on your mind and your physiology - truly feeling ‘high on my own supply.’

We speak about how he gets into a flow state and about the power of the breath in pushing through the limits we set ourselves. We talk about fear and how he overcomes its and doesn’t let his mind ‘get in the way’ when tackling the biggest waves ever surfed.

His advice felt totally applicable to life in general, from treating the journey like a marathon not a sprint, embracing failure and surrounding yourself with great people that inspire you and help you move forwards. 

You can find Andrew on Instagram here and Sophie here.

Find out more about Wings for Life here and join their fantastic World Run in May 2022.

Cathy Reay is a writer, editor, disability consultant and influencer. She is also a single mother of two and her Instagram account provides a great insight into life as a mum with dwarfism, disability justice, sex and dating, as well as some great skincare tips.

Cathy tells me about what it was like for her growing up in north Norfolk and how moving to London helped her find out who she was. We talk about celebrating our weirdness. 

She talks about her experiences of becoming a mother, about medical ableism and how she did not feel welcome in motherhood spaces. Cathy shares her journey around learning to empower her kids to navigate their own journeys, and not constantly trying to protect them, by emphasising the importance of boundaries and consent and staying silent when she needs to - advice that will be relevant for many parents and caregivers. 

We share our experiences of ableism and air our frustrations around unwanted help and Cathy shines a light on her understanding of the reasons for this.

Not wanting to be defined by her disability, we spoke about how people with disability are often automatically given the role of activist or spokesperson, and Cathy maintains that she is not here to educate people. I observe my own internalised ableism when looking to Cathy for answers about ableism.

We chatted about dating as a queer polyamorous woman and Cathy provides some advice for navigating dating apps with a disability. We discuss self-love and self-acceptance, and we unpick the internalised pressure about the way women are often programmed to behave around men, which can be heightened by disability. Finally Cathy shares how she’s found her community and has been able to connect with others who share similar identity markers.

You can find Cathy on Instagram here.

And find Sophie here.