Hi! I'm Uma - a neuroscientist, researcher, board-certified Mental Health Peer Specialist, mental health advocate, organizer, community builder, communicator... and most importantly, someone with vast lived experiences with mental health, chronic illness, young-adult cancer, & survivorship. On this show, I bring all of my identities together to bring you honest and unfiltered conversations exploring our true human experiences in their fullest form. We bridge the gap on all things neuroscience, psychology, mental health, lived experience, advocacy, psychedelics, research, & more!
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48. Everything You Need to Know About DBS & TMS: Precision Targeting, Biotypes, & the Brain Basis of OCD & Depression with Dr. Martijn Figee
lundi 28 juillet 2025 • Durée 02:09:57
On episode 48 of A Chat with Uma, I sit down with psychiatrist–neuroscientist Dr. Martijn Figee, MD., PhD—director of Mount Sinai’s Interventional Psychiatry Program & a groundbreaking pioneer in neurostimulation (e.g. DBS, TMS) for psychiatric disorders, especially OCD & depression—for a clear, grounded tour of circuit‑based psychiatry. This is the science companion to last week’s episode with Jon Nelson (ep. 47): today's episode builds on Jon's lived experience to explain how & why the brain can change (in minutes!) when the right circuit is engaged. We unpack deep brain stimulation (DBS) surgery & transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), what “target selection” actually means, & how phenotyping (motor, cognitive, & negative‑affect circuits) guides targeting.
We also get practical: access & eligibility, what insurers & clinicians look for, when to choose TMS first, & how accelerated TMS paired with ERP can fast‑track change. We bust myths (OCD ≠ “just the amygdala”) & look ahead to biotyping work designed to match people to the right target the first time--a real step toward precision psychiatry. If you want a rigorous, hopeful explainer of why electricity can be medicine & what that means for folks suffering, this episode shares everything you need to know from the world's expert!
Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):
(00:00:00) Welcome & introduction to Dr. Martijn Figee! (00:11:50) Who is Martijn beyond titles: psychiatrist–scientist mindset & science as the backbone (00:17:00) From Amsterdam to DBS: imaging arrives, early OCD DBS cases, & changes in minutes (00:30:00) Circuit basics: motor–cognitive–limbic loops across OCD, Tourette, depression (00:35:52) Evidence‑based OCD care: ERP + adequate‑dose meds; why misdiagnosis/mistreatment delays recovery (00:45:30) Comorbidity vs. one driver: how untreated OCD breeds depression—& why it changes the treatment plan (00:51:00) From presentation to target: phenotyping (negative affect vs compulsion/motor vs cognitive) to pick a target (01:10:00) TMS before DBS? Standard vs accelerated TMS & pairing every session with ERP; access & insurance (01:21:20) DBS candidacy & access: OCD is FDA‑approved; depression is trial‑only; what insurers & teams look for (01:25:40) Targeting, not guessing: ALIC/internal capsule, STN, BNST & fiber‑map guidance pushing outcomes toward ~80% (01:27:40) Where to go: Sinai, Baylor, UCSF—why experience & proximity matters (01:29:50) Biotyping with in-scan tasks: motor/cognitive/limbic dominance; what scans can (& can’t) diagnose—yet (01:33:50) Who isn’t a fit & plan B: non‑ambulatory severity, hoarding‑only presentations, & the role of lesions (01:35:30) Myth‑busting: OCD ≠ an “amygdala disorder,” & why the amygdala isn’t a sensible target (01:38:10) Depression biotypes: switching off pathological “grief” loops; interview‑driven med algorithms & next steps
47. The Pacemaker in My Brain: Treatment‑Resistant Depression, Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS), & Pulverizing the Stigma with Jon Nelson (ft. Dr. Martijn Figee)
lundi 21 juillet 2025 • Durée 02:23:14
On episode 47 of A Chat with Uma, I sit down with my dear friend Jon Nelson—lived-experience mental health expert & longtime healthcare comms exec—whose decade of treatment-resistant depression nearly killed him before an experimental deep brain stimulation (DBS) surgery flipped the circuit & brought instant remission in 2022. Jon shares the unfiltered, brutal reality of suicidal depression & how anger became fuel for advocacy. We trace his decade of every failed treatment—while his wife & kids bore the invisible trauma of caregiving.
He breaks down the difference between sadness & clinical disease, the neurological reality of “choosing life,” & why suicidality is a symptom—not a character flaw. Mid-episode, his psychiatrist Dr. Martijn Figee joins to unpack their shared experience of navigating DBS. Equal parts remission, reclamation, and rebellion—Jon turns survival into a movement to pulverize the stigma of serious mental illness. And come back next week for a solo episode with Dr. Figee, deep-diving into the science of DBS!
Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):
(00:00:00) Introduction & welcome to Jon!
(00:08:40) Where does Jon come from? Upbringing, background, formative years
(00:18:50) Dislocation at 16 → situational depression, honing empathy; college & NYC healthcare advertising years
(00:30:40) The descent: depression as cellular “poison,” initial denial, & suicidality as symptom—not weakness, drama, or moral failing
38. Whoa, I Made It To 29! Birthday & Cancerversary Reflections, Answering Your 29 Questions
lundi 28 avril 2025 • Durée 01:23:35
On episode 38 of A Chat with Uma, I reflect on both my 29th birthday & 6th anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. I share a live, raw, completely unedited account of everything rising to the surface as I turn 29. I speak at length about the awe and gratitude I feel for still being here + alive, and remember how staying on this planet for this long once felt utterly impossible. I talk through the rapid transformation of life that has unfolded since cancer, and all the recovery and reckoning that has followed—how wildly different everything looks compared with anything I could’ve imagined. I speak candidly about my current state of being, including the full spectrum of emotions that arrive when my birthday and my cancerversary land back-to-back. I walk through body memories, survivor’s guilt, and the transformative power of letting loved ones celebrate me anyway. I share concrete examples of how meeting life with my authentic self keeps creating experiences I never thought were remotely possible.
Next, I answer 29 questions from YOU—everything from my coffee lifestyle and metal concerts to the hardest parts of living with PTSD + OCD, from “doing enough” to what self-compassion actually looks like when it finally lands. Through these answers & my reflections, I explore the duality of existence, the astonishment of how life looks, and the awe of continuing to travel the continuum of human experience. Above all, this episode is a statement of love, gratitude, acceptance, and holding hope for every single beautiful human listening—especially through the darkest and most impossible moments you may live through.
Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):
(00:00:00) Welcome & why I'm recording this episode
(00:02:56) 29th birthday arriving alongside my 6th cancerversary
(00:09:44) Flashbacks, survivor’s guilt, and “the body keeps the score” in real time
(00:18:58) Gratitude vs. self-hatred, learning to let others celebrate me
37. What IS a Psychedelic?: The Beginner's Guide To Psychedelic Science
lundi 21 avril 2025 • Durée 01:09:39
On episode 37 of A Chat with Uma, I hit pause on the lived experience & nitty-gritty research and rewind all the way to Psychedelics 101: What exactly counts as a psychedelic? Why do ketamine and MDMA show up in the same conversations as LSD and psilocybin even though they work on totally different receptors? In this deep‑dive I define "mind-manifesting," untangle the three big branches of hallucinogens, give an extra basic chemistry crash course (Lego analogies included), and walk through the neurobiology that turns a few serotonin receptors into weeks of heightened brain plasticity. You’ll also hear why “set and setting” actually matter, how non‑hallucinogenic 5‑HT2A receptor compounds are storming drug development pipelines, and a rapid‑fire myth‑busting round that debunks everything from “natural equals safe” to “one trip and you might never come back.” By the end you’ll have a clear map of the molecules, mechanisms, and mind‑manifesting experiences that shape today’s psychedelic landscape—plus the language to call out sloppy headlines when you see them.
Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):
(00:00:00) Welcome back & why it's long past time for a Psychedelics 101 primer
(00:01:52) 1956 flash‑back: Osmond, Huxley, and coining “psychedelic”
(00:03:54) Two scientific litmus tests—5‑HT2A receptor engagement and the subjective “mind‑manifesting” fingerprint
(00:07:06) Meet the core four: LSD, psilocybin/psilocin, DMT/5‑MeO‑DMT, mescaline
(00:10:36) Hallucinogen family tree—classical psychedelics vs. dissociatives vs. deliriants
(00:13:54) Ketamine’s NMDA detour and why they are not psychedelics (but... are they though?)
(00:16:40) MDMA as empathogens / entactogens—psychedelic "cousins" (again... are they?)
36. Everything You Need To Know About Scientific Research: Peer Review & Publishing Papers
lundi 14 avril 2025 • Durée 50:08
On episode 36 of A Chat with Uma, I continue the “Everything You Need to Know About Scientific Research” series by breaking down everything you need to know about peer review and publishing papers! Here, I unpack the journey from raw data to a peer‑reviewed paper—the stage where independent experts test every assumption, statistic, and conclusion before the work can stand as part of the scientific record. You’ll learn why publishing is incredibly competitive after everything navigated to get the grant in the first place, how different review models (single‑blind, double‑blind, open, and registered reports) work, and what safeguards exist to catch bias or outright fraud.
We’ll also clear up common misconceptions—like who actually pays publication fees, what "peer review" actually means, whether industry can “buy” favorable results, and how to spot predatory journals that mimic the real thing. By the end, you’ll know how to read research headlines with a sharper eye and a fuller understanding of the system behind them.
Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):
(00:00:00) Welcome back & why peer review is the gatekeeper after funding
(00:01:28) Grants vs. journals: the true currency of scientific reputation
(00:03:54) Peer‑review basics: single‑, double‑, open, and registered reports
(00:06:56) Preprint servers—speeding collaboration and sowing public confusion
(00:09:58) Wildly competitive acceptance rates of scientific journals
(00:13:46) Impact factors, citation culture, and career stakes
(00:15:46) The money side: article‑processing fees and why scientists don’t profit
(00:21:46) Step‑by‑step through the review gauntlet, from desk rejection to “accepted”
35. Yes, I've Done Psychedelics, Part 2: From Psychonaut to Researcher
lundi 7 avril 2025 • Durée 01:15:14
On episode 35 of A Chat with Uma, I provide the long‑overdue follow‑up to my 2023 episode “Yes, I’ve Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to Researcher!” Two years (and many trips) later, I walk you through how psychedelics have woven themselves into my recovery from OCD, PTSD, and treatment‑resistant depression--and how my relationship to them has evolved. I’m candid about the depression pattern I now recognize: months of slow improvement, a frightening slide into suicidal exhaustion, and finally the “as‑needed biological intervention” of a macro‑dose psilocybin session.
I share why I now treat psilocybin as an “as‑needed biological intervention,” how my move to Madison and recovery gains changed the cadence of those sessions, and how I’m learning to identify red‑flag symptoms earlier so I don’t wait until rock‑bottom. Throughout the episode I’m brutally honest about the hellish parts: intrusive‑thought torture, eye‑burning exhaustion, and the constant urge to postpone each dose because I hate the experience even while I depend on the after‑effects. I describe how each trip has dovetailed with psychotherapy treatment for OCD, PTSD, and depression, and what last week’s brutally intense—but surprisingly fast‑acting—trip has already done for my mental state. If you want a raw, first‑person account of using psychedelics to carve out months of functional life—and why I still need intensive mental health treatment, behavioral change, and a healthy life to continue through recovery—here it is in its fullest form.
34. Everything You Need To Know About Scientific Research | Funding 101: How Science Gets Paid For
lundi 31 mars 2025 • Durée 01:00:26
On episode 34 of A Chat with Uma, I continue the “Everything You Need to Know About Scientific Research” series by breaking down one of the most misunderstood parts of the scientific process: funding. I explain how labs secure (and often struggle to secure) the money needed to pay salaries, buy equipment, and keep the lights on—and why the competition for grants is more cutthroat than many realize. Along the way, I debunk myths about “rich” scientists, reveal the harsh truth of acceptance rates (sometimes below 10%), and show how even a multi-million-dollar grant can vanish quickly once overhead and experimental costs are covered.
I also address common misconceptions that lead the public to believe funding is wasted on bizarre or irrelevant projects. By giving real-world examples—from “shrimp on a treadmill” to mental-health studies in lab animals—I illustrate how “strange-sounding” research can deliver breakthroughs critical to medicine, technology, and our broader understanding of human health. If you’ve ever wondered where tax dollars for science really go, this episode offers a behind-the-scenes look at the competitive, complex, and endlessly challenging world of research funding.
Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):
(00:01:00) Introduction: how science gets paid for and the crucial role of grant money
(00:01:18) Outlining the high costs of running a lab, including salaries, reagents, and all about indirect costs
(00:02:20) Why research funding matters so deeply and how labs can shut down without continuous support
(00:06:00) Dispelling the “rich scientist” myth, with personal examples of graduate student stipends and overall low researcher pay
(00:08:00) Describing various funding sources, from government grants (like NIH) to nonprofits and small-scale crowdfunding
Essential training grants and fellowships that develop PhD students and postdocs as future scientists
33. Everything You Need To Know About Scientific Research: How Scientists Are Trained, pt. 2
lundi 17 mars 2025 • Durée 01:27:40
In episode 33 of A Chat with Uma, I continue with part 2 of my deep dive into how scientists are trained, as part of the “Everything You Need to Know About Scientific Research” series. Picking up where I left off last time, I focus on the PhD as the central—and often most intense—phase of a scientist’s training path toward independence. I explain how researchers progress from dependent trainees to experts in their field, covering everything from learning to design experiments, to managing lab resources, to balancing the emotional and intellectual demands that come with advanced study. I further discuss the options to complete training after a Ph.D vs. pursuing a postdoctoral fellowship, and the added levels of training that occur during a postdoc. To round out the conversation, I also touch on the intricacies of training for physician researchers and the unique paths MD/PhD and MD holders may take as they bridge medicine and research.
Ultimately, my goal is to show you exactly why becoming a professional scientist is such a marathon. The PhD years are unlike any other phase, blending technical skill-building with growth in critical thinking, leadership, and a big dose of grit. By the end of this episode—together with last week’s discussion—you’ll see how these training stages add up to a truly rigorous process, ensuring that the people behind major biomedical breakthroughs are more than prepared to take on the world’s unanswered questions.
Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):
(00:00:00) Welcoming you back and linking this episode to last week’s discussion on Master’s-level and early research training
(00:01:00) What a PhD actually IS?! And WHY the PhD is the most pivotal stage for cultivating scientific autonomy
(00:04:30) The choice to pursue a PhD, the competitive admissions process, and navigating subsequent rotations and fit with a chosen lab
(00:10:00) Balancing full-time research, the relentless demands of experimental trial-and-error, professional development, and all other doctoral requirements
32. Everything You Need To Know About Scientific Research: How Scientists Are Trained, pt. 1
lundi 10 mars 2025 • Durée 01:01:34
On episode 32 of A Chat With Uma, as part of the “Everything You Need to Know About Scientific Research” series, we begin a 2-part overview of the full training pipeline that researchers work through to become independent biomedical research scientists. I unpack the differences between simply knowing established scientific facts and actively generating new knowledge in a lab setting, showing how hands-on mentorship, repetitive trial-and-error, and deep immersion in research culture form the backbone of scientific training. Whether it’s undergraduates finding their footing, post-baccalaureate technicians refining their skills, or Master’s students tackling more advanced projects, this episode examines the practical, day-to-day realities that bring a scientific career to life.
By walking through each level of training in detail, I illustrate why scientific expertise stems from years of incremental growth rather than a quick leap into advanced classes. You’ll hear how labs function as collaborative learning spaces, why mastering techniques and analytical thinking takes patience, and how early independence in the lab opens the door to meaningful contributions. These episodes provide a transparent guide to the foundational stages that shape both scientists’ skill sets and their dedication to rigorous, evidence-based discovery. Ultimately, these episodes serve to improve public misunderstandings and skepticism of research training, and counter its resulting effects on the survival of our scientific research enterprise. We will continue this episode next week by discussing future training stages: PhD, post-doc, transitioning to full independence, and an addendum on physician-specific research training.
Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):
(00:00:00) Overview of the general training pipeline for scientists
(00:01:00) How public misunderstandings of research training shape skepticism toward science
(00:03:04) Defining what it means to be truly qualified in hands-on, iterative scientific practice
31. Everything You Need To Know About Scientific Research: Why This Matters (And Why Now?)
lundi 3 mars 2025 • Durée 01:18:50
On episode 31 of A Chat with Uma, I launch my ‘Everything You Need To Know About Scientific Research’ series by sharing an overview of what I aim to cover in the coming episodes within this series, and the personal and professional lenses that bring me to this conversation. I talk through the current crises facing scientific research, how they are affecting research (including me) at this very moment, and why this is relevant to EVERYONE. I discuss my professional and personal background, and how my unique vantage point—spanning biomedical research, lived experience mental health advocacy, and science communication—positions me to see the urgent gaps and challenges facing biomedical research, including major funding cuts and widespread misinformation, and the steps we can take to bridge these gaps.
This episode shares my motivations, the prerequisites I hope you will integrate before diving into future episodes, and the importance of good faith, mutual respect, and respectful dialogue in navigating these current crises. I overview upcoming topics, invite you to contribute your questions to this series, and share my hopes of us ALL working together toward the shared mission of advancing human health.
Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):
(00:00:00) — Introduction & purpose of the series
(00:12:28) Essential caveats & prerequisites to this episode & series
(00:22:25) – My background & intersecting expertises relevant to this conversation: science, lived experience, advocacy, and science communication
(00:49:24) – Naming the current crises in research & its devastating impacts
(00:58:11) – Why I believe these crises are happening AND how I think we can help fix them; The direct impacts on me and my own research
(01:34:00) Switch flipped: activation, instant remission, and the shock of neutral daily life
(01:37:10) Relief & righteous anger: gratitude colliding with a decade of preventable suffering
(01:41:00) Dr. Martijn Figee, Jon's psychiatrist: translating “poison” affect into subcallosal cingulate circuit target
(01:48:10) Phenotype → target: differentiating negative affect circuitry from OCD loops, guiding lead (or TMS coil) placement
(01:52:30) Toward precision psychiatry: circuit diagnostics over trial‑and‑error pharmacology
(01:55:00) Pulverize The Stigma: public truth‑telling, rejecting “difficult to treat,” anger as disciplined fuel
(00:26:30) April's somatic bodily memories from cancer, insomnia, and over-scheduling as avoidance
(00:33:44) 29 Questions: Random things about me (coffee order, comfort food, favorite books/movies/TV/shows/podcasts, lazy Saturdays, random facts: synesthesia, perfect pitch, The Voice, opening for Morgan Wallen show)
(00:47:48) 29 Questions: My non-work life (Midwest living, yes I'm married)
(00:55:08) 29 Questions: Mental health/Lived Experience (living with PTSD + OCD, mental health red flags, self-compassion, funniest intrusive thought, small victory, busting the “high-functioning” myth, push vs. rest, relationship with medication)
(01:08:06) 29 Questions: Q's for me as a scientist (psychedelic therapy, other new treatments I'm excited about, staying objective in research with my lived experience, if I were a neurotransmitter)
(01:14:40) 29 Questions: Big-picture musings (spirituality post-cult, healing vs. recovery, advocacy beyond OCD, writing a book someday, doing “too much,” measuring “enough”)
(00:00:00) Recapping Part 1 from two years ago, where I left off with ketamine treatments, and how today’s episode picks up from where we left off
(00:02:40) Why I share these vulnerable stories, disclaimers on anecdotal use, and how personal experiences shape broader conversations about psychedelics
(00:09:00) The ‘As‑Needed’ Psilocybin Plan: How I decided to approach psilocybin on a loosely scheduled basis, what “biological intervention” means to me... and why I still push it off
(00:18:00) From Ketamine Insights to Psilocybin Sessions: Unpacking what daily ketamine “torture” taught me about intrusive thoughts, the mind‑body split, and rediscovering color in life
(00:23:00) Facing Relapse & ‘Rock Bottom’ Warnings: Tracking my early warning signs of depression, the classic OCD loops, and learning to heed those signals before everything shuts down
(00:34:00) Exploring how moving to Madison, a supportive environment, and evidence-based therapy widened the gap between needing trips, sometimes up to eight months; Recap of my trips since 2023
(00:56:00) The Most Recent Trip (March 2025): A raw look at my week‑old session: the usual “hell” meets an unexpected flash of self‑compassion, plus the quicker‑than‑normal bounce‑back effect
(01:07:00) The unique relief I'm already experiencing from this trip, small windows of joy, and final reflections on integrating future psychedelics with therapy and recovery
(00:18:00) The vital development of critical thinking: variables, confounding factors, and advanced analytical skills
(00:28:00) Major milestones in a PhD, including committee meetings, qualifying exams, dissertation writing, and the final defense
(00:50:00) The resulting character development from the intense investment of a PhD: sacrifices, imposter syndrome, and learning to defending your work under scrutiny
(01:03:41) Choosing a path after the PhD—why you’re already considered an expert trained scientist, and deciding on a non-academic job or a postdoctoral fellowship
(01:06:22) Choosing a postdoc: what determines its length and scope, and how it paves the way toward faculty positions or higher-level non-academic positions
(01:14:00) Added steps for physician-scientists (MD/PhD) to conduct research and how non-PhD physicians acquire training to conduct research
(01:23:06) Concluding thoughts on how both episodes together form a complete map of the scientific training pipeline
(00:06:12) Demonstrating the importance of biomedical research and its direct link to human health
(00:12:50) Outlining the stages—from undergrad to postdoctoral associate—that will be explored in these episodes
(00:18:06)Distinguishing scientific education vs. actively “doing science”
(00:26:30) Showing how principal investigators guide skill-building and cultivate independence in the lab
(00:38:06)How undergraduate research works (part-time & full-time) and its impact on future steps
(00:44:00) How post-bacc programs and technician roles bridge experience gaps before grad school.
(00:46:00) Differences & similarities between a Master’s degree vs. a PhD, & the role it may play in scientific development
(00:58:00) Reflecting on the crucial skills, ethical grounding, and accessibility issues tied to early training
(01:00:00) A look toward next week’s episode covering training through PhDs and postdoctoral fellowships, and physician-scientist and physician-specific research training steps
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