Navigating Adult ADHD – Details, episodes & analysis

Are you a people-pleaser… or just terrified of letting people down?

Hi! I’m Xena & I am a recovering people-pleaser.
I cared so much about what other people thought of me & would prioritise the needs & desires of my friends, family or colleagues, above my own. 

And by doing this I was telling myself that my needs & what I wanted weren’t as important... Further adding to my insecurities & lack of self-worth. 
 
Overtime I became a chameleon - I didn’t know who I was or what I really liked because I was always going along with everyone else.
 
People pleasing is a pattern of thinking & doing things that prioritise what other people think over what we think - Sacrificing pleasing yourself in order to please others. 
 
 In this episode you'll learn: 

• Why ADHDers people please
• How this pattern of behaviour impacts our ADHD symptoms
• How we've got the idea of "people pleasing" all wrong
• Where people pleasing comes from in our brain & how to change it 

LINKS TO MORE SUPPORT & OTHER GOOD SH*T:

*Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain

*Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool)

*12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD

*Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List

*Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena

*Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community 

*Come hang out with me on Instagram!

Do simple decisions leave you feeling weirdly exhausted?

In this episode, I’m talking about ADHD & decision fatigue. From standing in the kitchen unable to decide what to eat, to freezing over work tasks, emails, housework, or social plans… decision-making can feel so much harder when you have ADHD.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• what decision fatigue actually is
• why ADHD can make decision-making more draining
• what decision fatigue can look like in real life
• how shame, overwhelm & perfectionism can make choosing even harder
• 6 Practical ways to support your brain & reduce decision fatigue

If you’ve ever felt frozen by too many choices or exhausted by “small” decisions, this episode is for you my friend!

LOOKING FOR MORE SUPPORT?

*Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain

*Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool)

*12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD

*Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List

*Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena

*Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community 

*Come hang out with me on Instagram!

In this episode, we’re unpacking Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) - It’s the “the second it becomes a have to, my brain says hell no” feeling, you might experience… 

I can decide myself to clean the kitchen & feel fine. But if my partner asks me, suddenly it’s a whole thing!

We’ll chat about:

• What PDA is & how it’s driven by anxiety & a need for autonomy, not laziness or being difficult.
• How PDA can show up in adults with ADHD, from ignoring texts to melting down over “simple” tasks
• Why your nervous system treats everyday demands like threats, even when they’re self-care or fun
• The key difference between PDA & ODD (and how the why behind behaviour matters)
• 3 Practical ways to make demands feel smaller & safer, increase your sense of choice,& support your nervous system instead of bullying yourself into action

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I fight even the things I want to do?”, this episode is for you my friend.

LINKS TO GOOD SH*T:

*Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain

*Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool)

*12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD

*Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List

*Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena

*Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community 

*Come hang out with me on Instagram!

Perfectionism is common amongst adults with ADHD, especially if you are highly critical of yourself. 

Setting unrealistic goals & expectations, then beating yourself up for not achieving them...? This is perfectionism. 

Perfectionism tells us: If I do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of blame, judgement, and shame.

In this episode we are explore: 

• The sneaky ways perfectionism shows up in our lives
• Where it comes from & why so many ADHDers experience it
• How it affects all areas of our lives & never works
• The solution to overcoming it 

For more support check out:
 Instagram
Facebook
Website

"We are hard wired to connect with others" And for us ADHDers this can be tricky as we navigate RSD & a busy mind...

And today's special guest, Vince Ford,  is an expert on creating connection. 

In this episode we cover: 

• The link between physical pain & the emotional pain of rejection. Plus a surprising cure that works for both! 
• What mentalizing is & how it impacts our interactions with others
• A simple trick for reframing the overthinking & negative stories we might spiral in
• How “practicing” social connection feels good & lessens the fear of rejection
• Using stories to connect
• How social connections are changing & what we can do to bridge the gap when we interact with others

And as usual you’ll hear my “ADHD in real time” throughout this interview!
Connect with Vince here: https://vinceford.org/

For more support & resources visit: navigatingadultadhd.com

I just thought I had an addictive personality. Turns out that I had undiagnosed ADHD. 

For me it was food (sugar), alcohol & shopping. I used them as a way to both escape the painful parts of my life & to feel good. 

All addictions have one thing in common: DOPAMINE. 

And while many articles will tell you we become addicted because we are "dopamine seeking"... I don't fully agree. 

In this episode we explore: 

• What addiction looks like & how it develops in people with ADHD
• The 2 things that I believe lead us towards addiction
• The work of Anna Lembke & the role of dopamine

In this episode I recommend & refer to Anna Lembke's book: Dopamine Nation

Find Xena here:
Instagram
Website
Facebook

The root of self-care is setting boundaries: It’s saying no to something in order to say yes to your own emotional, physical & mental well-being. 

Healthy boundaries are "what's ok & what is not ok."

Setting & upholding boundaries is a skill we can learn.  One that not only prevents burnout, but also improves our relationships & creates more balance in our lives. 

In this episode we are talking about: 

• Why adults with ADHD often struggle with boundaries
• Examples of healthy boundaries in relationships 
• How to know when you need to set a boundary
• Why setting boundaries is hard & worth it

The book recommended in this episode is: Set Boundaries, find peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab

For more support from Xena visit:
Instagram
Website
Facebook

You know that low feeling you get after you return from a holiday?
That reason why you book the next trip to look forward to asap?

THIS is a dopamine hangover.

Anytime we spike our dopamine levels, for example jumping out of a plane & then feeling on top of the world.
Later results in a significant drop in dopamine (what goes up must come down, literally!) & it doesn't feel so good. 

This results in us feeling lower in mood, having less motivation & drive to do things & having less interest in things we would usually enjoy.

Listen in to learn more about how to manage your dopamine levels so you can thrive with ADHD!

LINKS:
Wanna hangout on Instagram? You'll find me here
Looking for more support?  navigatingadultadhd.com

Do you tie your self-worth to how productive you are? 
Never feel like you're doing enough? 

Due to the way we've been raised & the messages we've absorbed growing up, most adults with ADHD, especially women, struggle with this! (myself included)

In this episode we explore:

• The messages ADHDers & women have received growing up
• How these impact our self-worth 
• Questions we can ask ourselves to challenge & change our self-limiting beliefs
• Plus I share my own recent revelations with this

Come hang out with me on social media:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/navigating.adult.adhd/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/xenajonescoach
Website: navigatingadultadhd.com

Somewhere along the way we developed this idea that in order to be better & do better we had to beat ourselves up.

How’s that working out for you?  Are you improving your life by hating yourself? Are you creating positive results?

The truth is: You can’t hate your way to happiness.
Trust me, I tried.

Hate only creates more negativity in our lives.

And beating ourselves up is effectively punching ourselves in the face. It hurts & it’s not creating a positive outcome.

All feelings drive all of our actions.
So in order to DO better, we must FEEL better first.
Listen in to find out how!

For more support visit: navigatingadultadhd.com
+ Come hangout on Instagram

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