Explore every episode of the podcast Lessons in (Anxious) Attachment
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Stop Giving Your Self-Worth & Happiness to Someone or Something Else (today!) | 09 Nov 2025 | 00:18:17 | |
If you’ve ever felt like your happiness depends on other people’s approval, or like you keep losing yourself trying to be “enough” this podcast is for you. Other useful links:
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| Therapist Framework for Understanding Current Problems (Including Anxiety, Attachment, Worry, Procrastination) | 26 Oct 2025 | 00:13:48 | |
In this episode you will be given a simple therapy framework that could help you make sense of any problem, and actually interrupt it in real time. This is truly a powerful therapeutic framework designed to give you key insight and understanding into your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, and habits. Meaning you can break old subconscious patterns and cycles. You’ll learn this tool applies to common challenges like anxious attachment, procrastination, and worry, and discover how the same process can be used to navigate almost anything life throws your way. We’ll break down each step of the framework, share real-world examples, and give you guided self-reflection prompts so you can start using it for your own growth and clarity right away. Whether you’re a therapist, a self-development enthusiast, or just someone ready to stop feeling stuck, this episode will help you see your patterns clearly, interrupt them compassionately, and create space for change. Other useful links:
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| Want to Build New Habits Fast? Try These 3 Visualisation Techniques | 27 Sep 2025 | 00:09:55 | |
Ever wonder how elite athletes stay consistent, how top business leaders keep showing up, or why your favourite podcast hosts seem to have it all together? It’s not just willpower, so many of them use mental training & visualisation. Visualisation is a powerful mental technique - one of the most underrated tools for building habits that actually stick. It’s used by high-performers in sport, business and media to stay focused, motivated, and aligned with their goals (day in, day out0! If you’ve ever felt frustrated by stop-start habits, struggled to stay consistent, or found yourself slipping back into old routines, you’re not alone. The truth is, most people rely on motivation... but that runs out fast. In this episode, you’ll learn what visualisation really is, why it works (even if it sounds a bit “woo”), and three simple techniques you can start using straight away to finally stay on track with the goals and habits that matter most to you. Other useful links:
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| 150. Signs of Anxious Attachment | 18 Aug 2024 | 00:17:35 | |
FREE WORKSHOP: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/anxious-to-secure-free-workshop Other useful links:
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| The TRUTH About HEALING Anxious Attachment | 11 Aug 2024 | 00:19:18 | |
Are you on a journey of healing your anxious attachment? Well, what exactly does healing mean? Other useful links:
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| 149. Four Common COGNITIVE Reactions to Your Attachment Triggers | 11 Aug 2024 | 00:13:25 | |
Welcome to Lessons in Attachment! If you struggle with anxious attachment, past experiences can quickly lead you into mind-traps when triggered. Recognising these patterns is crucial for healing attachment wounds and moving from anxious to secure. Other useful links:
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| 148. How to Stop Being Anxiously Preoccupied & Obsessed with Them | 04 Aug 2024 | 00:20:23 | |
Welcome to Lessons in Attachment! If you have an anxious attachment style, you know the struggle of feeling obsessed and preoccupied with someone you like. Have you ever heard of 'outside-in orientation'? It's a common tendency among people with anxious attachment. Other useful links:
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| 147. Lessons for When Your Anxious Attachment is TRIGGERED | 21 Jul 2024 | 00:11:06 | |
Do you have an anxious attachment style? If so, it's very likely you know all about being triggered and having your anxious attachment system activated. Other useful links:
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| 146. 5 Lessons in Why They Are Pulling Away (Listen if you have an anxious attachment style) | 14 Jul 2024 | 00:12:25 | |
Can you sense someone is pulling away? Or maybe they have pulled away? Either way, it feels horrible and you can't stop obsessing over them? Other useful links:
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| 145. Lessons in Healing My Anxious Attachment (That you can use too!) | 07 Jul 2024 | 00:16:20 | |
In this short series of the podcast, Carly Ann shares some key lessons about healing her anxious attachment. Using both a combination of personal experience and professional experience (evidence backed research). Other useful links:
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| 144. Lessons in Trauma Informed Healing, Overcoming Overthinking, & 'Mistakes' when Doing the Work (with Gervase Kolmos) | 30 Jun 2024 | 00:58:19 | |
Do you have an anxious attachment style and feel determined to move towards secure? Well this epiosde deep dives into your healing.
Gervase on IG:Gervasekolmos Other useful links:
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| 143. Lessons in trusting your gut if you have an anxious attachment? | 23 Jun 2024 | 00:14:13 | |
Have you heard the saying "when you know you know". Well, do you? Other useful links:
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| 142. Lessons in Anxious Attachment and How to Stop Comparing (esp to their ex) | 16 Jun 2024 | 00:15:06 | |
Following on from last week's episode where we spoke about why you compare yourself, I am now sharing with you some steps to help you change this habit Other useful links:
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| Signs Your Abandonment Wound Is Behind Your BIG Reaction (or Overreaction) | 04 Sep 2025 | 00:12:13 | |
Do you have an abandonment wound? Or are you questioning if you have one? An abandonment wound can affect your daily life in very subtle ways. An abandonment wound is usually the result of past experiences and it can hugely impact your life today, as an adult. The question is, how does your abandonment wound show up in your daily life? Seeing these patterns improve your wellbeing, choices, and relationships. Let's dive into the different ways your abandonment wound might show up at work, in relationships, and other areas of your life. You will hear what a recap of what an abandonment wound is, and key signs of how it shows up. I will also share the details of my CBT course, Becoming Secure. As always, at the end of the video I give you big value - one shift you can make when your abandonment wound is triggered. I would love to hear from you in the comments, what is the main takeaway that can help you live happier? FREE WORKSHOP: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/5-steps-to-breaking-the-rules Other useful links:
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| 141. Lessons in Why You Are Comparing Yourself to Others (especially for Anxious Attachment) | 09 Jun 2024 | 00:12:26 | |
Anxious Attachment often goes hand in hand with the comparison trap! You compare yourself to their friends, their ex, their family. You compare your relationship to other people's or the ones in the movie. You compare them to your ex... it's endless. Other useful links:
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| 140. Lessons in Break-Ups & Heartbreak Recovery - With a Break-Up Coach! | 26 May 2024 | 00:49:58 | |
In Conversation with a Break-Up Coach! Other useful links:
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| 139. Anxious Attachment & Struggling with Separation from the Person You Love (6 Signs) | 19 May 2024 | 00:16:52 | |
Do you have an anxious attachment style? If so, you might struggle with distance and time apart in relationships. People in this community often talk about struggling with no plans in the diary or not knowing where their attachment figure is. Carly Ann has struggled with this herself so this really is an episode of experience. Tune in as Carly Ann discusses six signs that could indicate separation anxiety, including excessive reliance on contact and worrying about your loved one. Other useful links:
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| 138. Lessons in Healing Anxious Attachment & Feeling Back at Square One! | 12 May 2024 | 00:12:56 | |
Have you been working hard on healing your anxious attachment and have recently had an episode where it feels like you are back at square one or rock bottom? Other useful links:
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| 137. Lessons in: Doubting Your Relationship & Decoding "When You Know, You Know" | 05 May 2024 | 00:16:48 | |
Welcome to Lessons in Attachment. Do you have an anxious attachment & find yourself doubting your relationship, constantly questioning if this is the right person for you? In this episode, Carly Ann offers valuable tips for managing relationship doubts and worries.
In this epsiode of Lessons in Attachment, Carly Ann addresses the age old quote "when you know you know". Other useful links:
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| Ep 136. Lessons in How Your Menstrual Cycle Effects Your Attachments, Day-to-Day, & Lifestyle (With Kat Taniberg) | 28 Apr 2024 | 01:00:37 | |
In this week's episode of Lessons in Attachment, we are joined by our guest Kat Taiberg. It's a different episode for you this week if you have an anxious attachment, we are really expanding our horizons when it comes to your healing and happiness. Other useful links:
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| 135. Lessons in Detachment: When You KNOW You Get Too Attached & Give Too Much | 21 Apr 2024 | 00:21:13 | |
Do you have an anxious attachment wiith codependent tendencies? Perhaps you get too attached too qucikly, rely on their validation, worry when you're not together, lose yourself in love, and become the "fixer" or "people pleaser". Other useful links:
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| 134. Lessons in 10 Signs of Codependency (very relevant if you have an anxious attachment style) | 14 Apr 2024 | 00:27:18 | |
Do you have an anxious attachment style? Curious about co-dependency? In this episode, Carly Ann not only talks about co-dependency and how it can develop, she lists 10 clear signs of co-dependency. Listen to this episode if you neglect your own needs, put your happiness in their hands, seek validation, and lose yourself in love. Ready to rediscover yourself? Other useful links:
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| 133. Lessons in TYPES of Avoidant Partners & Dynamics (Which one do you attract?) | 07 Apr 2024 | 00:21:14 | |
Do you have an anxious and/or avoidant attachment style and keep finding yourself in the anxious-avoidant trap? Painful isn't it? In this episode of Lessons in Attachment, Carly Ann talks about the different types of avoidant partner you might attract, or the dynamic you find yourself in. Other useful links:
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| 132. Lessons in Overcoming Insecure Patterns, Healing Your Nervous System, & Conscious Relationships (with Janelle Annette) | 31 Mar 2024 | 00:52:07 | |
This week we are joined by Jenelle Annette. Full of wisdom, she supports you to consider practical ways you can live a more secure lifestyle. The conversation ranges from looking at your friendships to your addiction to unavailable relationships.
Other useful links:
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| 5 Step Framework to Rewire Anxiety, Mood, & Self-Worth | 02 Sep 2025 | 00:47:34 | |
This workshop is sponsored by my signature 6-week course, Becoming Secure. It does exactly what it says on the tin... it helps you move from feeling insecure, lost, or anxious, to feeling grounded, confident, and secure. It’s six weeks to rediscovering yourself..and right now there’s a special early bird offer available. Other useful links:
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| 131. Lessons in Why I Can't Stop Obsessing Over Them (when you have an anxious attachment) | 27 Mar 2024 | 00:10:31 | |
One pattern that creates a lot of pain and upset is obsessional thinking. Usually for someone with an anxious attachment style it looks like obsessing over your ex, your crush, or the person you are with. There are things you can do to help and things that won't help. Other useful links:
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| 130. Lessons in Anxious Attachment & Self Worth: Listen to this if You Get Stuck in States of Low Self-Esteem | 25 Mar 2024 | 00:23:57 | |
Do you have an anxious and/or avoidant attachment style and get stuck in moods or states of low self esteem. This isn't for those of you that sometimes have a moment of insecurity, it's for those of you that get stuck in that state and feel like you wind up ruminating, self criticising, and worrying. Other useful links:
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| 129. Lessons in Two Models for Understanding Core Beliefs & How You Think | 17 Mar 2024 | 00:17:16 | |
Guys the next theme inside The Attachment Recovery Gym is learning all about the Anxious-Avoidant Trap which I know SO many of you are curious about. Don't miss your chance to join us HERE. You can ask me questions, join LIVE calls, and have access to a one-off workshop. Other useful links:
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| 128. Lessons in 6 Subtle Signs of Low Self-Esteem | 10 Mar 2024 | 00:30:12 | |
Insecure Attachment and Low Self-Esteem can go hand in hand! In celebration of our brand new Porgramme GLOW, this episode is dedicated to sharing 6 subtle signs that you need to pay more attention to self-esteem work. If you fall into these patterns, you don't have to stay there, there is a way out! Other useful links:
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| 127. Lessons in Anxious Attachment: "PROTEST BEHAVIOURS" When You're Triggered | 03 Mar 2024 | 00:23:57 | |
Do you have an anxious attachment and find yourself falling into toxic habits? In this episode Carly Ann discusses the unhelpful reactions that are seen in anxious attachers when they are triggered. Whether you are someone that sulks or excessively contacts the person you like - you'll want to listen to this one! Other useful links:
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| 126. Lessons in Neuroplasticity: Healing the Nervous System & Attachment (with Jessica Maguire) | 25 Feb 2024 | 01:00:03 | |
Do you have an anxious and/or avoidant attachment style? Carly Ann is interviewing different guests to help you learn, heal, and move towards a secure attachment style. In this epsiode Carly Ann meets Jessica Maguire (repairing_the_nervous_system) Other useful links:
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| 125. Lessons in The Cycle of Change (from an Attachment Perspective) | 18 Feb 2024 | 00:16:34 | |
This is your last chance to join my 7 week course Becomong Secure: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/becoming-secure-course Other useful links:
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| 124. Lessons in Relationship Blueprints: 4 Inner Templates Shaping Your Love Life | 14 Feb 2024 | 00:14:09 | |
Do you have an anxious and/or avoidant attachment style? Whatever your attachment style, we all have certain blueprints/templates that shape how we experience life (and love!). In this epiosde, Carly Ann outlines four innee templates you need to be aware of and gives you specific self-reflective prompts for each template. Other useful links:
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| 123. Lessons in why Anxious Attachers are Not Attracted to Available/Secure People | 11 Feb 2024 | 00:16:18 | |
One of the most frustrating patterns for anxious attachers can be the fact they feel more attracted to unavailable folk than the available ones. This goes against your desire for a long term relationship! In this episode, Carly Ann discusses why you are less attracted to the nice ones! Other useful links:
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| 122. Lessons in Becoming Attracted to The Nice, Available Ones | 04 Feb 2024 | 00:20:34 | |
Do you have an insecure attachment style? If so (especially anxious attachment) it's possible you struggle to attract or sustain relationships with secure, available people. It's one of the biggest complaints/struggles I witness. You want a long-term relationship, but you're usually attracted to the unavailable type. In this episode, Carly Ann shares 8 Tips to help you become more attracted to available relationships. Other useful links:
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| Feeling Stuck in Life and Love? It Might Be Your Inner Rules & Guidelines (Part 5) | 29 Aug 2025 | 00:06:48 | |
FREE WORKSHOP (Breaking The Rules) Part 5: Other useful links:
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| 121. Tips for Anxious Attachment & Abandonment Wounds (Weekly Mind-Stretch) | 31 Jan 2024 | 00:08:43 | |
Do you have activated abandonment wounds? In this week's episode of Lessons in Attachment, Carly Ann shares 3 posts to inspire change and healing. Other useful links:
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| 120. Lessons in Navigating Life & Relationships with an Anxious Attachment (With Dominy Roe) | 28 Jan 2024 | 01:10:08 | |
Listen to this if you have an anxious attachment and are trying to or want to navigate a healthy, long term relationship. Both Carly Ann and today's guest, Dominy Roe have moved on from the toxic, unavailable guys, but does that mean we are fully healed? Listen in as we talk about navigating our relationships.
Other useful links:
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| 119. Lessons in Going No Contact Even When it Feels Impossible | 21 Jan 2024 | 00:20:55 | |
Keen to chat about the no contact rule? If you have an anxious or fearful attachment style and you are trying to go no contact with someone that you still like, it can feel impossible at times. Other useful links:
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| 118. Hot & Cold Treatment, Truth for Anxious Attachers, & Wanting Your Ex Back (Mind Stretch) | 17 Jan 2024 | 00:10:04 | |
do you have an anxious and/or avoidant attachment style? Other useful links:
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| 117. Lessons in Sulking, Getting Stuck in Moods & Taking Things Personally (Especially if your partner is fed up with it!) | 14 Jan 2024 | 00:22:39 | |
Do you have any anxious and/or avaoidant attachment style? If you're the type to sulk for hours, take things a bit too personally, or worry that your partner might get fed up with your moods, this episode is a must-listen Other useful links:
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| 116. Lessons in Developing a Secure Attachment | 07 Jan 2024 | 00:56:46 | |
Do you have an anxious and/or avoidant attachment? If yes, it likely means you have had certain experiences when it comes to relationships, love, and having your needs met. Other useful links:
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| 115. Lessons in Mr Unavailable with our guest Natalie Lue | 31 Dec 2023 | 01:14:28 | |
Do you have any anxious and/or avoidant attachment style? Lessons in Love brings you Carly Ann's and other people's inspiring stories to support you on your own journey of healing and change. If you are doing the inner work on healing the past and becoming more secure, you are in the right place.
Audio production by Bethany Donkin. Music by Atch Subscribe now and join our thriving community of listeners who are on a journey to better relationships, improved self-esteem, and a more fulfilling life. Other useful links:
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| 114. Loveability & Self-Love Meditation | 24 Dec 2023 | 00:09:17 | |
In this special Xmas Eve epiosde Carly Ann shares a meditation for that is taken from our Healing & Abundance Challenge that took place inside The Attachment Recovery Gym in 2023. If you have an insecure attachment style; grounding, loveability, and mindfulness is SO powerful for our healing journey! Other useful links:
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| 113. Lessons in Overthinking: Obsessing/Limerence, Worry, & Ruminating | 17 Dec 2023 | 00:19:39 | |
Do you have an insecure attachment style? In this episode Carly Ann discusses four common styles of overthinking people fall into:
Whether you fall into one or all four, you are bound to find this episode useful! Other useful links:
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| 112. Lessons in 6 More Consequences of Attachment Wounds (Part 2) | 13 Dec 2023 | 00:18:41 | |
Do you have an anxious and/or avoidant attachment style? If you are living as an adult with attachment trauma, there are certain signs and consequences you might be experiencing. Impacts on self-esteem, attachments, and mental health. In this episode, Carly Ann is determined to let you know about what is coming up inside The Attachment Recovery Gym. Join Carly Ann as she discussed 6 key ways we struggle with love & life when we are living with attachment trauma. Other useful links:
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| Listen to THIS If You Want to Know The TRUTH About Low Self-Esteem and What Keeps You STUCK (Part 4) | 28 Aug 2025 | 00:06:06 | |
FREE WORKSHOP (Breaking The Rules) Part 4 Other useful links:
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| 111. Lessons in 6 Consequences of Attachment Wounds (Part 1) | 10 Dec 2023 | 00:27:42 | |
If you relate to having an insecure attachment, you will know already that there are certain consequences and impacts on our adult life. In this episode, Carly Ann is determined to let you know about what is coming up inside The Attachment Recovery Gym. Join Carly Ann as she discussed 6 key ways we struggle with love & life when we are living with attachment trauma. Other useful links:
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| 110. Lessons in What Keeps Anxiety Going | 03 Dec 2023 | 00:16:35 | |
Do you have an insecure attachment style? There is a specific pattern that keeps anxiety on a loop, once you retrain yourself in this area, you are much more likely to feel secure (and in control). In this episode Carly Ann discussed an unhelpful habit many of us fall into, it has the potential to increase our anxiety, fears, and upset. Other useful links:
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| 109. Lessons in Comparing Yourself | "The Comparison Trap" | 19 Nov 2023 | 00:17:52 | |
Do you compare your relationship? Your relationship status? Yourself? We all compare ourselves and for some it creates a lot of inner pain and upset. In this episode, Carly Ann discusses the different ways we fall into this negative thinking patterns. Which trap is sabotaging you the most? Other useful links:
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