Hi, Fam! – Details, episodes & analysis

In a world where the mere mention of judgment can spark controversy and shame, it's easy to lose sight of its essential role in our lives. There's a crucial difference between being judgmental and exercising sound judgment, yet the fear of judgment has led many to forsake their ability to discern, blurring the lines between criticism and discernment. 

Join us as we navigate this delicate balance, uncovering why it's vital not to shy away from judgment but instead to embrace it as a cornerstone of wisdom. And perhaps most importantly,  why giving the gift of good judgment to our children is an invaluable tool for them in navigating life's complexities with clarity and compassion. 

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Build the Family of Your Dreams and Become the Leader of Your Family with The Studio! (hifam.com/studio)

We've all experienced it—the gut-wrenching guilt, the overwhelming shame, the moments where we've passed judgment on others. Not the most pleasant feeling... Maybe that's why in today's world, there's a prevailing notion that these emotions should be erased from our vocabulary and emotional palette. But is this truly the best approach to raising our children and fostering healthy relationships?

Join us on an eye-opening journey to challenge these societal norms that try to stop us from feeling these feelings and delve into the complexities of judgment, guilt, and shame. Learn why these emotions are trully important and why we should allow and not shield our kids from these emotions.

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Build the Family of Your Dreams and Become the Leader of Your Family with The Studio!

Sometimes our biggest challenges come by surprise. There are times in our lives when we can plan, research, and make informed decisions. And then there are times when... we can't. When you're facing the fears and uncertainty of the future, it's very challenging to live the long game. And yet, as a parent, we're called to be leaders.

Whether you're in "decision limbo" or your life is "on hold" - this podcast will help you find your footing again, despite... not knowing.

My mission is to help you create a family life you love. If you'd like more on that, join my newsletter (HiFam.com/newsletter).

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Want more encouragement and practical guidance in creating a family life that puts family first? Join us in the Hi Fam Community (HiFam.com/Studio)

Get my new book, "Reclaim Play", available on Amazon now! Go to ReclaimPlay.com/book for your free book bonus.

In this special bonus episode of the Parenting Junkie Show, I interview Tosha Schore, whose mission is to create a more peaceful world one sweet boy at a time. Tosha helps parents who have young boys who are struggling with aggression issues, helping change their behavior without using punishment or harshness. 

This episode will be helpful even if you don’t have boys. You no doubt have boys in your life in some way (nephews, friends of your kids, etc.) and you’ll learn about what we need to change regarding the way we treat boys in our culture.  

[3:46] We have an opportunity to bring more peace to the world by changing how we parent/treat boys.

[11:12] Men often tamp down their boy's feelings to help them avoid the shame they experienced as a child.

[13:08] The way to “fix it” is not by shaming parents or the boys.

[15:32] Parents get scared; men don’t want their boys to be shamed like they were, and women are often triggered by past trauma. 

[16:03] First we have to heal ourselves and work on our own triggers.

[17:18] We often believe a fallacy that if they behave “properly,” then they get our love and affection. We need to flip that around. 

[22:23] Move in close and try to be playful about it.

[23:39] It's not about teaching them what’s ok and what’s not...they know. 

[27:46] Kids often will say or do things that are contrary to what they really want or need.

[30:34] Your body/physical touch is a parenting tool.

[31:55] Setting limits is extremely important for the well-being of you and your family.

[33:52] Limits will shine a light on the area(s) your kid's struggle with.

[37:17] Limits can (and should) be set with love. 

[38:25] We often subconsciously expect kids to love the limits we set...but they won’t. You have to get comfortable with the fact that they won’t like it. 

[40:33] Why do we do things that don’t work over and over, expecting them to suddenly start working? 

[42:53] Being playful and silly is a great way to diffuse tense situations.

[43:28] Once a child feels seen and connected, he wants to cooperate.

[44:57] If you're uncomfortable with aggressive play, step outside your comfort zone and experiment with allowing it.

[51:56] What about aggressive video games?

[53:09] Do what’s best for you and your family (even if “all their friends” play a certain game and you feel uncomfortable with it). 

[55:04] Be interested in what your kids are interested in and learn about the games they’re playing.

[55:28] Tech should stay in a family space (i.e. not in a bedroom). 

[56:01] If something interferes with their wellbeing, you may need to set limits around that activity. And experiment with limits and adjust as necessary. 

[58:50] Behavior doesn't equal identity.

If we consistently step toward our boys when they act up and focus on building connection, we’ll start to see the aggressive behaviors “peel off” (like layers of an onion). Remember, your sweet boy is in there regardless of current behavior

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!

Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here. 

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies?
Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Tosha’s book Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges
• Tosha’s website
• Tosha’s Facebook Page
• Tosha’s course “Out With Aggression”

Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/podcast_type/tosha-schore

Do your children ever act entitled or ungrateful? Mine do, and it’s a major trigger for me. While I don’t want to deprive my children of abundance, safety, joy, experiences and some material things, I don’t want to raise entitled and ungrateful children (who will turn into entitled and ungrateful adults)! So what are we to do?? 

That’s what we’re talking about in today’s episode.

[3:59] How entitled are our kids? We can use these questions as a gauge. 

[6:36] If our children are acting entitled, what do we do? Getting angry or yelling makes it worse.

[7:28] Giving in makes it worse too.

[11:02] My aim isn’t to give my kids a fairy tale existence. 

[17:24] It’s a gradual learning curve.

[19:48] Entitlement isn’t about having “the thing”; it’s about the attitude toward having “the thing”.

[20:06] The opposite of entitlement isn’t deprivation; the opposite of entitlement is gratitude. 

[21:34] Practical step #1 to decreasing our children’s entitlement: Restrain our overprotective instincts. 

[24:30] Practical step #2: Help them frame frustrations within a broader perspective.

[26:59] Practical step #3: We should avoid bribing our children or paying them for chores.

[28:29] Practical step #4: Stop doing things for your children that they can do for themselves.

[30:27] Practical step #5: Practice gratitude regularly.

[33:07] Practical step #6: Give our children perspective by sharing how difficult things are/were for other people. 

The opposite of entitlement is gratitude, and the route to gratitude is perspective. We need to remind ourselves of how good we have it and stop taking it for granted. 

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to Instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on Instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!

Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here. 

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies?
Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Links & resources mentioned:

• Next Bliss Retreat 
• Empathic Limits Course
• Amy McCready’s book “The Me, Me, Me Epidemic”
• Peaceful Parenting Doesn't Work?!
• Allowance and Chores
•  10 Tips for Teaching Gratitude

Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/45

We all want what’s best for our children, but sometimes we can be a little too protective, do too much for them, and expect too little from them. 

In this interview with Becki Biermaier, who has experienced more than her share of challenges as a little person, we discuss what parents can do to help their children develop resilience and overcome the challenges they face in life.   

[8:05] Pity is disempowering. “Until a child knows they can’t, they think they can.”

[9:46] Boundaries and expectations. 

[11:43] Allow our children to experience discomfort and challenges

[13:46] Celebrate progress instead of complaining that our children need our help to complete a task. 

[15:00] “What kids need the most is to do things for themselves, with you telling them they can.” 

[16:51] Build margin into our schedule so we can slow down and let our children try things on their own.

[18:09] Help younger children by promoting their independence and helping them learn that every choice has a result. 

[21:05] Elementary school age: teach them to brainstorm strategies and think through “if/then” scenarios (and to regroup when they fail or face challenges). 

[23:00] Middle schoolers; reinforce the idea that their decisions impact their results. 

[23:40] Even though they resist it, middle schoolers need more of your time. 

[25:20] High school; they do more on their own and need a safe space to come to you with questions and issues. 

[28:15] Overcoming bullying or getting picked on.

[31:02] Overcoming learning or social disabilities and challenges.

[37:18] Partner with your child’s teachers & school administration.

I think we’ll find that as we expect more from our children, build in more time to let them try things on their own, celebrate their wins, and help them regroup after failures, they’ll develop resilience and overcome any challenges that come their way! 

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!

Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here. 

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies?
Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Links & resources mentioned:

• Becki’s email address: everybodylookup@gmail.com 
• Becki’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTG10qvgLMRSoB9OIc6xNxA 

Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/podcast_type/becki-biermaier/

Are your kids ever on the receiving end of name-calling? Do they get their feelings hurt by other kids, and you find yourself struggling with how to deal with it or help them through it? 

In this episode we’ll dive into some ways you can help your children become healthy and strong individuals by coaching them through the friction and conflict they’re bound to experience throughout their childhood.                     

[3:11] Name calling and hurt feelings are par for the course and aren’t as bad as you might think.  

[4:54] Our natural tendency is to be empathetic and protective...but sometimes we overprotect.

[6:59] Being overprotective can make our children feel incapable of handling conflict.                     

[8:04] We also don’t want to just brush it off as no big deal. 

[9:40] There will be times when you need to involve other people (parents, teachers, etc.). 

[10:41] Not every single conflict between kids is “bullying” or “unsafe.”
[12:47] We need to experience friction & conflict in childhood to help us learn how to deal with it.                  

[18:22] The 3 “un-truths” explored in The Coddling of the American Mind. 

[20:09] Give a little bit of empathy, but mostly focus on coaching them.          

[21:52] The untruth of fragility.

[24:09] The untruth of emotional reasoning.

[30:52] The untruth of us vs. them.

Let’s do our best to reframe the conflicts our children experience as opportunities to coach them and help them develop into healthy and strong people who can handle whatever life throws at them.  

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!

Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here. 

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies?
Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Links & resources mentioned:

• Book The Coddling of the American Mind
• https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/events/

Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/44

Consumption...gifts...toys. If you're like me, you live in a society where materialism and the availability of toys and “stuff” is overwhelming, you likely struggle with the desire for “more” vs. minimalism and mindful consumption.

In this episode we discuss how we can be eco-conscious when it comes to gifts and the holidays.

[3:33] The deck is stacked against us when it comes to consumption and materialism...especially in the U.S.

[6:29] The real issue is with our own internal struggles with mindful consumption.

[6:42] We also need to give ourselves the grace and freedom to live a joy-filled life.

[8:12] The world (and our children) needs less consumption.

[15:29] Idea #1: Adopt an animal from a shelter.

[16:48] Idea #2: An experience.

[18:20] Idea #3: Second hand (used) items.

[19:58] Idea #4: Long lasting/high quality toys.

[21:40] Idea #5: Digital gifts.

In the end what makes the biggest impact is minimizing and making special occasions less about “stuff” and more about what really matters.   

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!

Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies?
Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Links & resources mentioned:

• https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/events/

Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/43

In this episode I interview Julie Bogart (author of the incredible book The Brave Learner and founder of https://bravewriter.com)! Join us as we discuss ideas for making learning fun and how you are responsible for your child’s education even if you don’t homeschool. 

[6:53] “How you relate to your child around their education is the key to successful growth of their love of learning.”

[10:47] We can partner with our children to give them an education that they enjoy and gives them a hunger for learning. 

[13:13] Bring play and enchantment into learning instead of forcing kids to leave play to do hard work.

[15:59] Whether we homeschool or not, an involved parent leads to the best outcomes for our child’s education. 

[19:15] The more we support our children, the sooner they choose to try on their own.

[19:36] We need to provide the corresponding level of support to the presenting need.  

[22:34] Sometimes the teacher is the leader, sometimes the child is. 

[32:56] Don’t miss out on opportunities for your child to learn how to teach, even if it means you have to play a game you don’t particularly enjoy (Pokémon anyone?? 😂 )

[34:49] Learning is invisible to parents (you can’t see in their head) so we often seek “paper and pencil” for reassurance that learning is occuring. 

[38:35] Kids are constantly pay attention and learning...but what they’re paying attention to doesn’t always register in our minds as learning, according to traditional academics. 

[39:04] The best approach to screen time (spoiler alert; there isn’t one).

[45:58] We all struggle at times, but we shouldn’t stay there. No one can live in “struggle” long-term. There needs to be a pivot; we need to find a way to move forward, out of the struggle.

[47:12] The way to move forward is subjective, not prescriptive. It depends on the needs of our individual families and what’s best in each season. 

[49:20] “Liberation comes when you take back your right to explore as many options as necessary to find today’s right fit for you and your family.” 

Whether we homeschool or not, we are ultimately responsible for our children’s education and need to be as involved as possible to fuel their love for learning. 

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!

Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here. 

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies?
Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Links & resources mentioned:

• Julie’s book The Brave Learner
• https://thebravelearner.com/ (be sure to download the free companion guide from this website!)
• https://bravewriter.com/ 
• Julie’s podcast & blog info
• @JulieBraveWriter

Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/42

Do your children lie to you? Or if they’re too young, are you worried they will in the future? I get questions about lying quite often, and in this episode we’re going to talk about why children lie and what we can do about it. 

[4:13] Lying is a natural part of a child’s development.  

[5:45] Younger kids sometimes don’t differentiate between reality and their imagination.

[8:04] They start using their imagination to attempt to alter reality.

[9:27] They start to lie because they’re aware of what we want to hear or to avoid trouble. 

[14:58] Let’s try to be less offended and angry when our children lie. It’s part of growing up and it’s going to happen. 

[16:11] We really don’t value the truth as much as we say or think we do. We lie to ourselves and others frequently. 

[18:55] We even lie to our children. 

[22:03] We often lie to protect ourselves.

[22:37] Our kids lie to us because they think we can't handle the truth. 

[23:25] We need to model honesty.  

[25:22] Let’s show our kids that we value honesty over smooth sailing (and keep calm when they tell us the truth). 

[26:03] When they do lie, it’s important to guide them back to honesty without shaming and punishing them. 

[30:56] There’s a powerful link between truth and trust, and it goes both ways (our trust in them, and their trust in us). 

[34:25] We can respond playfully and calmly when we catch our children lying. 

This will set a foundation for connection with our kids, creating trustworthy and truthful relationships for years to come. 

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!

Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies?
Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. 

Links & resources mentioned:

• https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/events

Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/41