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Titre
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How to Let Go of a Broken Dream and Discover God's Greater Plan
24 Apr 2025
00:19:57
Episode Summary:
In this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, we are continuing the Sacred Scar Story Series during which I’ve had the blessing to interview many people who have experienced some very painful wounds, but then saw God heal and do a redemptive work and bring about beautiful sacred scars.
Maureen Miller shares about her devastatingly painful wound when she had dreamed of becoming a mother since early childhood only to have doctors report that short of the miraculous, she would be unable to conceive.
She shares how she coped with her pain and her grief, and how God ultimately fulfilled her dream of motherhood through adoption.
Quotables from the episode:
Everyone has a story about something that has wounded them and caused pain.
My scars have been more emotional scars having to do with the loss of a dream since I was a little girl, of being mom and so looking forward to having children and being able to do all the things that moms love to do with their kids.
I married my high school sweetheart and not long after that we realized we were going to have difficulty conceiving. It was painful to hear a doctor say that short of the miraculous, you will never have children biologically. Those words felt like the death of a dream and cut very deeply.
Having been raised in a Christian home, and having a good grounding in biblical truth and God’s promises, it wasn’t long before I really began seeking the Lord and asking him how he might use this pain for something good and bring something beautiful out of my broken body.
I mourned and I grieved the death of that childhood dream that I had held onto so tightly. There was a season when I shook my fist at God, but it wasn’t a long season.
As I began to delight myself in the Lord, and be real with him, and at times even shake my fist, he can not only handle all my doubts and fears and anger, but he can even pry open my hands that were clenching that dream.
He began to show me that as I prayed with my hands up and open, he could either take that dream away and replace it with something better, or he could grant me that dream in some miraculous way.
As I meditated on the scripture and began to delight in the Lord, it didn’t mean that God would always answer our prayers in the way we wanted them answered, but he would actually fill our hearts with the dreams he had for us first and those would become our dream.
As I mourned then sought the Lord and delighted in Him first, He began to show me that it was his dream for me to be a mom—it just didn’t look like I thought it would.
We have the choice when we are wounded to either turn toward God and seek him or turn away and walk in the other direction.
There was shame because I had to really remind myself that my identity as a woman was not wrapped up in me being a life-giver. My identity came in Christ and who he created me to be.
The Lord confirmed for me that I was “blessed in my barrenness.” Our pain became a catalyst for me to offer sympathy, comfort, and help for those he places in our paths.
I realized I had the ability to minister to birth mothers who chose life for their children, carry them for 9 months, and then give others the greatest gift of life they could ever give.
When God impressed upon me that I was “blessed in my barrenness,” I realized my condition wasn’t a mistake and that God had given me a heart to sympathize and empathize with those who are hurting.
Over time we were able to adopt three children, but we also experienced the pain of two failed adoptions that have their own sacred scars and round out our story.
It’s a beautiful thing when we’re able to hold up our dream and offer it to God and say “Take this dream if it’s not yours, and you have something better, or if it is your dream, confirm it so I can walk it out in faith and joy knowing it’s according to your will.”
Delight yourself in the Lord. Spend time with Him in His Word. Spend time with God in prayer. Surround yourself with Christian brothers and sisters who can really speak into your life and confirm the truth. Know your identity in Christ and surround yourself with people who will remind you of that. Trust that according to Romans 8:28, God will work all things together for good for those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose.
Journal so you can go back and look at the “stones of remembrance” and you can remember how God answered prayers.
Once I surrender my will and my way, God has the freedom to work His perfect will, in His perfect way, and in His perfect timing.
Scripture References:
Psalm 37:4-6 NIV “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.”
Romans 8:28 NIV “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promisesby Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)
Maureen Miller has been married to her childhood sweetheart Bill for 35 years. Together they have three born-in-their-hearts children and three grand-girls and share life on Selah Farm, a hobby homestead in western NC. She writes for Guideposts, her local newspaper, and several online devotion sites, and her debut novel, Gideon’s Book, is due to release later this year.
From Darkness to Redemption: How to Find Hope in the Wilderness of Life’s Trials
17 Apr 2025
00:35:17
Episode Summary:
In this episode, my co-host, Rev. Jessica Van Roekel and I reflect on the journey from the darkness of Good Friday to the redemption of Resurrection Sunday. For Jesus’s disciples and followers, Good Friday marked a day of despair, while Saturday felt like a wilderness of uncertainty. Yet, Resurrection Sunday brought the hope of resurrection, redemption, and purpose. Together, we’ll examine how these themes resonate in our own lives when we walk through dark seasons and wilderness experiences, and how we can hold onto hope, knowing that redemption is always possible through Christ.
Quotables from the episode:
Even though Jesus warns us we will experience trials, they often take us by surprise just like Jesus’s death did for the disciples.
Nothing happens to us that isn’t first sifted through God’s hand.
God has a plan, sees the whole picture, and offers his comfort.
Prayer and lament: Honest communication with God, expressing pain, confusion, and doubt.
Meditate on Scripture: reflecting on Bible passages that highlight God’s faithfulness in difficult situations.
Practice gratitude: remember past instances of God’s provision as encouragement for the present trials.
Fasting: set aside time for fasting to seek clarity, alight with God’s will, or pursue deeper spiritual intimacy.
Worship and praise: praise God for who He is, even when circumstances feel bleak.
Community and Fellowship: share your struggles with trusted believers who can pray and provide encouragement.
Silence and solitude: spend intentional quiet time with God, listening for his voice and his presence.
Remembering God’s faithfulness: reflect on his unchanging nature and promises.
God often uses our darkest moments to bring about the greatest redemption.
Lean into God’s promises during dark and wilderness seasons.
Look for glimpses of God’s redemptive work, even when it feels far off.
Remember that life’s trials often follow the pattern of Good Friday, Saturday, and Resurrection Sunday. The darkness of despair can give way to the wilderness of waiting, but the story doesn’t end there. Resurrection Sunday reminds us that hope and redemption are always on the horizon. No matter what season you’re in, trust that God is at work, bringing beauty out of ashes and life out of death.
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promisesby Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)
Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.
305 How to Love God, Yourself, and Others: Living Out God’s Love in Everyday Life
13 Feb 2025
00:31:50
Episode Summary:
In this heartwarming episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, we explore how to love God, yourself, and others as I welcome author Rachael Adams. We discuss why she wrote her devotional, Everyday Prayers for Love, and what she learned while writing it. Inspired by a moment in a church pew, Rachael shares how God called her to be His “love offering” and to help others experience His transforming love.
In this episode, we explore biblical love, the importance of accepting God’s love, and practical ways to love ourselves and others. With insights on prayer and purpose, this conversation invites listeners to discover how to start living out God’s love in everyday life.
Quotables from the episode:
The biggest battle has always been maybe striving for approval and striving for acceptance and for love. I grew up in a divorced home and my earthly father was not around much. And so I think I just always wanted just to be seen and known and loved. And So, I went in search of that.
I'm so scared to disappoint anybody. I’m very much a people-pleaser, and so to really start to learn of God's love and experience that from my heavenly father has just really shaped the person I am and changed everything. It changed the trajectory of my life. And now I just want to share that with the world around me.
Our early experiences, before we're even really cognitively aware of what's going on or what God has to say about it, really does shape our perspective and how we look at God, at the world, and ourselves.
So how we’re living our faith maybe is different, but our goal is all the same. What does the Bible teach us about both the nature and the characteristic of love?
After I had my son, I really believe that as God was teaching me how to become a mother, he was also teaching me how he was my father. And I believe that as I was holding my son, God was really holding me.
He can use us flawed humans to be an expression of his love to others.
The greatest act of love was that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us! That’s why he came to save us. He knew we weren’t perfect and that we needed him.
It’s so important for us to be filled with God’s love first, to have anything to give to others. Scripture talks about the fullness of God. So what are we watching? What are we reading? Who are we surrounding ourselves with? What are the words that are on repeat? Nothing else in the world will satisfy but Christ himself.
When we receive God’s love, there’s a freedom in that, and a security in that. There’s the saying that there’s nothing that we can do to make God love us any more, and there’s nothing that we can do to make God love us any less, and we don’t have to work for it.
Scripture References:
Matthew 22:36-40 “’Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’ Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and without all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Ephesians 3:17-19 “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,…grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and…know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
1 John 4:19 encourages, “I pray this not just for your sake, but also so that you may extend this newfound love to others. Afterall, ‘We love you because he first loved us.”
Romans 8:39 “…No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
Author of A Little Goes a Long Way and Everyday Prayers for Love, Rachael Adams, hopes to help women realize God’s love and purpose for their lives. She and her husband, Bryan, live in Kentucky with their two children, Will and Kate. Her work has been featured on Good Morning America, Crosswalk, Proverbs 31, Today Parenting, and YouVersion. Connect with her by visiting rachaelkadams.com, searching @rachaeladamsauthor on Instagram and Facebook, and tuning in to The Love Offering podcast every Tuesday on your favorite listening platform.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Are you experiencing the empty nest stage of life or finding yourself constantly in close quarters with your spouse? If the 24/7 togetherness feels overwhelming, then this episode is for you! Join us as we delve into the secrets of thriving in marriage with a spouse in the house. Our special guest is Cynthia Ruchti, coauthor of the insightful book "Spouse in the House: Rearranging Our Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other." As fellow hope enthusiasts, I knew she would be the perfect guest on the program. Stay tuned for an inspiring and transformative conversation as we talk about How To Thrive in Marriage with a Spouse in the House.
Quotables from the episode:
As much as people talk about preparing financially for retirement, and as heavily we emphasis pre-marital counseling, who was talking about preparing relationally for retirement or other life-events and seasons when a husband and wife experience more togetherness than normal.
It is an adjustment to share the same space 24/7, work around each other’s routines, communicate expectations, and divide the chores.
Not since the Industrial Revolution transformed American life from what had been largely agricultural and family-run businesses has there been such a seismic shift back to two spouses at home.
“Any home, large or small, can feel like too tight quarters unless we learn how to relate to, appreciate, and work around each other’s personalities and preferences when a health need, job layoff, retirement, temporary circumstance, or new working arrangement results in both spouses in the house for long stretches of time.
“A husband and wife can rub each other the wrong way, find there’s not enough oxygen in the house for both of them, and trip over each other’s physical and emotional ‘stuff.’ But there’s hope for every hurdle, and a joy possibility for every relationship jolt.”
It helps to remember that our husband is our brother in Christ, so how the Bible says to treat our brothers and sisters in Christ is how we are to treat our spouse.
No human can satisfy you like Jesus, and no human will not satisfy you. But Jesus is your rock.
Decide to pre-forgive your spouse of anything they do to you in the future.
The best way to handle the spouse in the house is to begin and end the day with them and Jesus.
There’s no coasting in marriage. If we stop paddling, we don’t just stay still. We’re carried off to dangerous places or end up where we never intended to go.
Scripture References:
Philippians 2:2 NIV—“Make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.”
Philippians 2:3 NIV—“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interest but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:4. NIV—“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus…”
Cynthia Ruchti tells stories hemmed-in-hope through novels, nonfiction, and speaking events for women or writers. Since 2010, she’s released 37 books. Cynthia is a senior literary agent with Books and Such Literary Management. She and her husband live in the heart of Wisconsin, not far from their three kids and six grandkids.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
We are perpetually insecure people. We struggle with self-esteem, recognize our fallenness, and find that in spite of our sinfulness, God chooses to use us…if we let Him. God often steps into our lives and gives us an opportunity to be part of His story. No matter who you are or what your story is, God’s effective grace can resurrect your life and point to Jesus. Join me with my guest, Tamar Miller, for how to receive God’s redeeming grace and live a life that glorifies him.
Quotables from the episode:
I found myself questioning the goodness and grace of God while begging Him to change my circumstances.
There’s nothing you can do to earn God’s grace—it’s a gift to be received.
Perseverance is key in any spiritual battle.
No matter who or what you are, God can redeem your life.
God’s redemptive grace and the timelessness of His goodness because of Jesus’ finished work on the cross and promise of eternal salvation.
No matter who they are or what their story is, God’s effective grace has the power to impact and redeem their lives and point their stories to Christ and His gospel message, just like every story of the Bible does, similar to biblical women.
The gospel message of Christ continues to change lives with the power to restore, reconcile, rescue, redeem, and resurrect, when all seems lost with no hope, because of God’s faithfulness to His Word and promises in Christ and displayed in His steadfast love, transformative grace, and magnificent mercy towards undeserving sinners.
I try to remain honest, transparent, compassionate, but intentional to encourage them to cling to Christ and remain in a study of His Word every day.
God’s ways do not always match our preferences, His purposeful and redemptive plan is for the sake of His glory and our ultimate good, even when all looks bleak.
Read and study God’s Word and be intentional exploring one book of the Bible at a time. Ask questions, talk about it with other Christian friends, consider what you are learning about God, and then determine how the message of God’s Word might have you respond to your circumstances or relationships.
God can choose any person He desires as a grace recipient to display His mercy and love in accordance with His plan of salvation.
We are not promised tomorrow so today is the day to receive God’s grace.
Scripture References:
1 Corinthians 15:9-11 (HCSB): “For I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by God’s grace I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not ineffective. However, I worked more than any of them, yet not I, but God’s grace that was with me. Therefore, whether it is I or they, so we proclaim and so you have believed.”
Romans 15:4 (ESV): “For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”
1 Peter 4:10-11 (ESV): “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace…in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ.”
Tamar is a pastor’s wife of 25 years to a loving and patient husband, and mom of two wonderfully made teenage sons, one who lives with special needs. She considers marriage and motherhood her primary ministries from the Lord and is grateful for God’s redemptive grace shown to her within these roles.
Her desire is to glorify her heavenly Father, faithfully follow Jesus her Savior, and consistently study God’s Word. To help with that, she is thankful for and committed to her local church in SW Florida, where she’s been a member for the past 20 years. Over the past 18 years, she has served in Women’s Ministry as a Bible teacher, ministry leader, and guest speaker at women’s events. Currently, she also serves part-time on staff at a K-12 Christian school and enjoys volunteering in their campus library.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
213 Adult Children: How To Parent When They Choose a Different Path
11 May 2023
00:30:29
Episode Summary:
Do you have grown up or adult children? Have you felt that parenting adult children offers different opportunities and challenges than parenting young children? What about the challenges of parenting wayward adult children or parenting adult children even when they choose a different path than you would have chosen for them? Join me with my guest, Mary DeMuth, for an encouraging episode on Parenting Adult Children Even When They Choose a Different Path.
Quotables from the episode:
Part of the reason parenting adult children is so hard is because we haven’t been given good examples of parenting adult children.
Make your conversations with your adult children rooted in curiosity to find a common ground without compromising your theology.
When our adult children choose a different path than we would choose for them, we can either blame God or run to God.
Shared grief with other parents who understand lessens our grief.
God is a perfect parent who had the first rebellious adult children.
God understands. He has empathy. He had adult wayward kids, too.
I often go back to the book’s structure which is based on 1 Corinthians 13 where Paul unpacks what love is. Studying that has helped me truly connect with and love my adult kids.
The enemy has victory when we have wayward children, so we have to determine that he will not have victory over us as well.
You can still love your adult child but have a different opinion.
Remember, someone else’s choices are not your fault.
Prayer is a relationship and oxygen for our lives.
If you’re struggling with a wayward adult kid, talk it through with a safe person.
Scripture References:
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 NLT Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Mary DeMuth is an international speaker, a podcaster, and the author of over forty books, fiction and nonfiction, including The Day I Met Jesus. Through God’s healing, Mary has overcome a difficult past to become an authentic example of what it means to live a brand-new story. She loves to help others “re-story” their lives through the books she writes. Mary lives in Texas with her husband of 30 years and is Mom to three adult children.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Lust is a man’s problem, right? Wrong. When we see lust as an exclusively male issue, it leaves Christian women with nowhere to turn when they struggle with the same things. A 2016 Barna study found 20 percent of Christian women use porn regularly. These women suffer silently and often feel alone with nowhere to turn. There are numerous resources for men struggling, but not women. Today’s guest, Jessica Harris, made it her mission to break the silence, banish the shame, and bring women’s struggles into the light of God’s grace and forgiveness. Jessica and I talk about how Christian women can overcome porn addiction and sexual shame.
Quotables from the episode:
With the advent of the internet came pornography accessibility to women.
At the core of pornography addiction is loneliness, pressure to go further into other sexual exploits and harm.
Often, those who struggle with porn addiction are searching for comfort, for belonging, and even the desire to disappear. Their worth, value, and identity become wrapped up and all about sex.
Pornography divorces sex and intimacy.
God has grace for women who struggle with pornography and/or sexual shame.
Women who struggle with pornography can have a vibrant, abundant, and full life and future.
We are image bearers of God, so our worth comes from Christ. He loves us and bought us with a price.
The 3 signposts of shame are: 1) warning sign: during which there is an absorption with self; 2) Flight from exposure: we isolate from others to minimize the same; 3) Violence: we lash out and protect what we try to hide.
Shame isolates; whereas God welcomes us into holiness.
What hope do we have if we believe that the Giver of freedom wants nothing to do with us?
The message Christian women need isn’t “stop watching porn” or “porn is bad and contributes to human trafficking” etc. Instead, what they need is a reminder of God’s grace and to know that shame is trying to keep them from the one relationship they need in order to experience true life-giving freedom.
Grace is something we need every single day. Every single one of us. It doesn’t matter our backstory, shame is always looking for a way to separate us from God, isolate us, and drive us back into the comforts we once knew (sin).
There is grace and freedom to be found by drawing nearer to God not hiding from Him.
When you are in the thick of a pornography addiction, or even in the beginning of trying to break free, it can feel like a battle you will never win. It can feel like you are going to spend the rest of your life actively fighting this, and I would want them to know that is not the case.
Christ offers us freedom and abundant life and science itself has even proven that our minds and bodies can heal. So while the ideal picture of freedom might seem impossible right now, it’s not impossible. Nothing is impossible with God.
Shame, by its nature, isolates. It drives us into darkness and into secrecy and we lie to ourselves when we try to convince ourselves we can find freedom on our own. Part of freedom is found in community.
Scripture References:
John 4:13-14 ESV “Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
John 10:10 HCSB “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
John 15:4 ESV “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.”
Jessica Harris is a writer and international speaker who talks openly and honestly about pornography addiction among Christian women in order to facilitate healing. She is recognized as a leading voice on the topic of female porn use and addiction in the church.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
211 How to Change Your Thinking and Change Your Life
27 Apr 2023
00:42:57
Episode Summary:
Our thought life determines our whole life. The enemy wants us to feel defeated, rejected, and defenseless. But Jesus offers a truth that sets us free and when seized in a mind, has the power to transform us to a whole new way of living. The mind of Christ can change everything if you let it. The size of your God far outweighs any issues in your mind. Join me with Kelly Balarie for how to change your thinking and change your life.
Quotables from the episode:
I believed I was how I thought or how I felt. I had to learn to rule over my emotions with the Word of God.
We need to mind our mind.
Not taking thoughts captive leaves us dry and parched.
Shame comes against us, but Jesus offers grace and mercy. Jesus rejected the shame so we can also with the mind of Christ.
Conviction leads to restoration through repentance.
Mercy covers our mistakes. God’s grace equips, empowers, and enables us, and God then does the impossible work through us.
Scripture References:
2 Corinthians 10:5 “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”
Kelly Balarie is the author of Fear Fighting, Battle Ready, and Rest Now. When speaking at women's conferences around the nation, Kelly delights in joining hands with women as they go through life's ups and downs. To see marriages restored, hope recovered, and prayers of faith lifted up to a God on the move are some of her greatest joys. Beyond this, Kelly has led spiritual growth Bible study groups and has been seen on TODAY, The 700 Club, Crosswalk.com, iBelieve.com, and (in)courage. Her work has also been featured by Relevant and Today's Christian Woman. She lives with her husband and two kiddos on the East Coast.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
210 Living Purposefully: Paying Attention to the Right Things
20 Apr 2023
00:35:04
Episode Summary:
Every TV show, YouTube channel, podcast, social media platform, News broadcast, social media influencer—all strategically want one thing: your attention. In today’s world of endless hurry and distraction, we have difficulty focusing on what's important, and spend most of our days seeing and hearing without truly paying attention.
Our lives are full of meaning—yet we miss the giant revelations, ideas, and truths right in front of us because we weren't actually looking for them. We must fight to pay attention period to the right things period to things of worth and meaning period to changing the way we see our day so that we can truly see it for the gift it is. Paul Angone and I talk about living purposefully in a busy chaotic world that’s clamoring for our attention.
Quotables from the episode:
In today’s world of endless hurry and distraction, we have difficulty focusing on what's important, and spend most of our days seeing and hearing without truly paying attention.
Our lives are full of meaning—yet we miss the giant revelations, ideas, and truths right in front of us because we weren't actually looking for them.
We must fight to pay attention period to the right things period to things of worth and meaning period to changing the way we see our day so that we can truly see it for the gift it is.
To intentionally pay attention: turn off notifications, push past the boredom and awkwardness, set limits and be disciplined, ask yourself WHY you are giving your attention to whatever is distracting you.
All love starts with paying proper attention to someone.
Networking is really relationship-ing—building relationship with others.
Paul Angone is one of the nation's most trusted and sought after voices to young professionals, people going through change and transitions, and those looking to live more intentional lives. The best selling author of 101 Secrets for Your Twenties, and 25 Lies Twentysomethings Need to Stop Believing, Paul is a dynamic keynote speaker at universities, corporations, and churches nationwide.
Paul is an organizational consultant with a master’s degree in organizational leadership, a keynote speaker, and a millennial influencer who specializes in helping companies attract, retain, develop, and harness the best strings of the millennial and Gen Z generations. He lives just outside Denver Co with his wife Naomi, and their four children.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
209 How To Trust in the Lord with all your Heart, Relinquish Control and Put your Hope in God
13 Apr 2023
00:47:56
Episode Summary:
Bad things happen. People wound us. Friends let us down. Trust issues with people can become trust issues with God. Scripture tells us to trust the Lord with all our heart. But how do we do that? My guest, Joanna Weaver, invites you to trust in the Lord with all your heart. Relinquishing control and putting your hope in a forever-faithful Father--that's the beautiful secret of unshakeable faith.
Quotables from the episode:
Trusting God is the key to a victorious Christian life
As you let go in surrender, God will enable you to hold on in faith so that you’re no longer dominated by fear and doubt.
As we embrace trust, we embrace God—and it leaves us forever changed.
We must learn to believe in God’s love, goodness, and power despite the difficulties we face.
We must stop chasing blessings and embrace contentment.
Pray God-sized prayers so that He can be revealed in God-sized answers.
In a very real sense, trust is God’s love language. Nothing brings Him more joy than when we put our hope and trust fully in Him.
Scripture References:
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Joanna Weaver is the author of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, which has sold over a million copies. Other books include Having a Mary Spirit, Lazarus Awakening, and a devotional, At the Feet of Jesus. Her books and companion DVD Bible studies have been used by hundreds of churches as well as home groups and individuals. Joanna loves being a pastor’s wife and mother of three. The Weavers reside in the beautiful “Big Sky” state of Montana.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Do you ever find yourself falling into a trap of thinking negative thoughts? Have you ever wondered how to control your negative thoughts? It is possible, and that’s what my guest, Tracy Taris, and I talk about in this episode: how to stop negative thoughts.
Quotables from the episode:
Our negative thinking usually comes as a result of our life experiences, beliefs, and messages we come into agreement with.
Healing comes in layers.
When we find it hard to hear from God, we need to assess what is God competing with? Are we quieting distractions to hear from him?
Any thought not of God has to obey the name of Jesus.
Negative thinking reflects some pain point that needs to be dealt with.
We have a tendency to perseverate on negative thoughts, but instead, we can choose to perseverate on positive thoughts consistent with Philippians 4:8.
Scripture References:
Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” (ESV)
Mark 9:23 Jesus said to him, “What do you mean ‘if’? If you are able to believe, all things are possible to the believer.” (TPT)
John 4:42 They said to the woman, “We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.” (NIV)
Tracy Taris is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is president and owner of Healing The Mind & Spirit, Inc. where she leads a team of counselors. Her group practice is located in Santa Clarita, California where psychotherapy services are provided in person and via telehealth in the form of couples, family, individual, adolescent and child therapy as well as coaching services that cover a variety of topics from creative blocks, nutritional problems, and women’s issues.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Have you or someone you love been diagnosed with cancer? Are you wondering how to pray for yourself or a loved one battling cancer? Then stick around, and consider sharing this episode with someone in the battle because today we’re going to be talking about How to pray when battling cancer. My husband and I, as well as today’s guest, Niki Hardy, have all been through this, and we’ve had many friends and loved ones on the cancer journey. Even if you haven’t been given a cancer diagnosis, you know someone who has so I hope today’s episode will encourage you.
Quotables from the episode:
Life doesn’t have to be pain-free to be full, so go live it.
I lost my mum and sister to cancer and was then diagnosed. I was determined to survive until that was all I was doing. Eventually, I learned how to thrive, not just survive, and uncover the full life God had for me right in the midst of the pain.
Trusting God isn’t something that happens the moment we meet Jesus (so you can stop beating yourself up for not having faith made of steel). It’s a choice we make on the daily.
Trusting God isn’t the silver bullet to a world without worry but it is the key to fighting back and moving forward.
To help increase our trust in God, we can check out God’s credentials: is He who He says He is, has He done what He said He would do, and am I who He says I am?
Don’t go through the cancer journey alone—ask God for help.
Choose to hold on and let go: hold onto God and his faithfulness, and let go of the illusion of control to embrace God’s plan.
Create a bank of evidence of God’s faithfulness to bolster your ability to trust God: when and where and how has God proved himself faithful to you in the past? Remember those times.
The best way to help others on their cancer journeys is through the ministry of presence: don’t try to do or say the perfect thing, just be imperfectly present flaws and all.
Scripture References:
John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (NIV)
Compared with John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (NIV)
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (NIV)
Niki Hardy is an author, speaker, podcast host and cancer Thriver. As the author of Breathe Again: How to Live Well When Life Falls Apart, One Minute Prayers for Women with Cancer, and host of the Trusting God Through Cancer Summit and Chemo Chair Prayers podcast, her goal is to help you discover life doesn’t have to be pain-free to be full, then go live it.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
206 How To Exchange Father Wounds for God’s Perfect Love
23 Mar 2023
00:39:12
Episode Summary:
Father wounds result when a person’s father is physically absent, emotionally abusive or distant, negative or overly critical character, which can have long-term consequences for an individual. The world is full of women who have been hurt, neglected, rejected, or abandoned by their father. They may feel like every aspect of their life is affected by that broken trust. Even their relationship with God can feel tenuous, but there is hope. Today we’re going to be talking about how to exchange father wounds for God’s perfect love.
Quotables from the episode:
Father wounds result when a person’s father is physically absent, emotionally abusive or distant, negative or overly critical character, which can have long-term consequences for an individual.
Father wounds are essentially any painful impact by the actions of a father.
Father wounds can result from absence, neglect, shaming, a critical nature, comparison to others, and more.
There are multiple different types of wounds that can be sustained as a result of a father’s behavior or lack thereof. Some of those wounds include trust wounds, affirmation wounds, value wounds, love wounds, and beauty wounds.
The first step of healing father wounds comes in acknowledging the wound and resulting pain. The second step is seeking Godly support. The third step is grieving what wasn’t. The fourth step is praying for God to meet you.
In order to heal father wounds, we need to come to a place of surrendering our will and our way to God’s and letting go of our expectation for the outcome.
You cannot change people, only God can. We have to accept them as they are and decide if we can handle them like that if they never change before deciding if we will remain in relationship.
Even though our earthly fathers may not be, our Heavenly Father is affirming, accessible, and patient.
Scripture References:
Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
1 John 3:1 “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.”
1 Chronicles 5:20 NLT "They cried out to God during the battle, and he answered their prayer because they trusted in him. So the Hagrites and all their allies were defeated."
Kia Stephens is the founder of Entrusted Women, which she created to equip Christian women communicators of color. She is the author of the new book Overcoming Father Wounds: Exchanging Your Pain for God’s Perfect Love..
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
304 Stop Reacting, Start Responding: Tips to Overcome Reactivity and Build a Healthy Marriage
06 Feb 2025
00:36:56
Episode Summary:
When you marry, your heart overflows with enthusiasm, exhilaration, and optimism. You can’t wait to start a new life with this one whose mere presence or voice causes an abundance of feel-good neurotransmitters to your brain.
But soon after, differences in temperament, gender, family of origin, and marital expectations collide. You discover that the characteristics and behaviors you once found attractive in your mate, are now sources of irritation and frustration. Conflict erupts, causing reactivity in your temperament to surface more often. Before long, your dialogue degrades with frequent accusations and debates about perspective.
The enemy in this fight isn’t your spouse. Unmanaged reactivity, those involuntary and unregulated reactive messages you inadvertently send your spouse when you’re triggered is the culprit. Today, Dr. Donald Welch joins me to talk about how to recognize reactivity, understand its origin and work together to eliminate it, learning to respond rather than react in our marriages.
Quotables from the episode:
The enemy is not your spouse.
Our temperament is really the way God made us. And so understanding how we are made allows us to become more comfortable and really at peace with who we are and who we are not, because we're created in God's image. And as we embrace our natural temperament, we are then in a better position to also accept and embrace our spouses temperament rather than trying to change them into someone they aren't. Before marriage, there's a tendency to attract to the opposite and after marriage to attack that opposite when it's really one of our best friends in a healthy marriage. So, as we learn more about our temperament, we can focus on enhancing our strengths and minimizing our weaknesses.
The way God made us is to be able to protect ourselves. So for example, if I were to touch or you were to touch something hot, your hand or my hand would react before the brain knows it's hot. It's a way to protect ourselves. So what happens with the limbic system is that we can have all sorts of reactions. Like for example, if I squint my eyes, the other person or we're having dialogue, you might involuntarily react to it. Or if somebody screams or you hear something sharp, you might have a reaction to be awakened to see, do I need to take care of something? So we have hundreds of these normal reactions, and I've seen it for 40 years in marriages, in the sense of working with couples, that they will tend to react to each other before they're aware and then they're off to the races, and it's difficult to decrease that. So I define reactivity as involuntary, unconscious thought, uncontrolled relationship, impeding behaviors that originate from the feeling part of our brain known as the limbic system.
We can have these involuntary reactions in a marriage that actually set up the marriage for difficulty. So since these originate from the feeling part of the brain rather than the thinking part of the brain, they're largely outside of our conscious awareness, so it can make it insidious to the relationship. So we want awareness.
Is it possible that we react to present conflict even based out of past wounds in other relationships? - Oh yes, that's very common. In fact, it's why unfortunately, second marriages move up to about 80 % of potentially divorce because they're bringing in those reactions. In my opinion, those reactions, and there's what I believe support this, is that those reactions are coming into the relationship. And so now that person reminds me of something from the past. That's why those first eight years of life for any child are incredibly important because we are, the way our brains design, we absorb emotion and then that emotion can stay with us and then we can practice it without even knowing and then it's a reaction into adulthood.
You suggest that the greater a couple's differences, the more likely their marriage will be to succeed. And that's not what society typically says, so help us understand that a bit. Yes, that's a fascinating concept that really God created the opposite, man and woman. And may I just quickly tie into this idea of wounds and how it may impact your current question because many people believe that their past is the past and it does not affect them now. Others may believe that their past can affect them but they think they have dealt with it and it is now irrelevant. The truth is emotions never forget.
There is nothing ambiguous about marriage in the Bible. It is far superior to any other permutation—offering stability for kids, security for spouses, and higher rates of happiness overall.
Intimacy only exists in an environment filled with trust and loyalty.
Intimacy can be defined as a close relationship that does not operate at the expense of the self, with a self that does not operate at the expense of the other, and in which each person is fully known and fully loved.
The freedom to choose to respond rather than react is a gift of being human.
Love only exists where choice is present. When choice is eliminated, so is intimacy.
The path out of reactivity to a responsive marriage is a continuous journey to discover the fulfilling and deeply satisfying marriage you desire.
Fewer adults are getting and staying married. Those who do tend to have unrealistic expectations or poor communication and conflict resolution skills.
When one understands and embraces their natural temperament and learns to minimize negative reactivity in the expression of their temperament, their important relationships will flourish and grow.
A relationship lacking nurture wipes out any trust one may have in the other person.
Unmet expectations are relationship killers.
Intimacy only exists in an environment filled with trust and loyalty.
We can’t simply change the definition of marriage and think you can solve relationship problems. No studies show any form of alternative family as better than what has been traditionally defined for millenia.
Scripture References:
Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 5
Galatians 5
Romans 4:17 As it is written: "I have made you a father of many nations." He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed--the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not.
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
Dr. Donald Welch is a licensed marriage and family therapist, professor, and national speaker. He holds three master’s degree and a Ph.D. from the University of Kansas. He’s an ordained minister, and founder of the Center for Enriching Relationships, a professional counseling center with multiple sites in San Diego, California. He lives in Coronado, California with his wife, and together they have two grown children.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
We’ve all heard the term “prodigal child,” and there’s even a popular show called “Prodigal son.” But what exactly constitutes a prodigal child? And perhaps even more important than semantics, how do we win back a prodigal child, teen, or young adult? In this episode, I talk with Laine Lawson Craft about a battle plan to win back a prodigal child, teen, or young adult.
Quotables from the episode:
In simple terms, a prodigal child is challenged and gets off track despite being raised under the wisdom of God.
Don’t give up “in the meantime” when your prodigal child may be mean while you are waiting for God to change their heart and their ways. You may be disappointed, discouraged, and at times hopeless, but don’t give up.
Father God was the first prodigal father when Adam and Eve went their own way despite what God warned them against. He understands our feelings toward our prodigal because he had them too.
We partner with the Father of all to parent our children! We don’t parent alone.
Love is the currency of heaven.
God has a great plan for your child and He is the true parent of your child. He formed them into your womb and has plans for them and we can partner with God and trust Him that He will bring them home!
Realize today that you are NOT in war with your defiant child you are in war with the darkness and evil of the world!
Once we realize we are not fighting against our child but fighting with Satan, then we can begin to pray and implement spiritual applications to usher in the victory and hope!
God will always hear our cry in the battle and will answer us because we trust Him!
It is God’s battle if it looks too big that’s ok nothing is too big for God! If you aren’t praying for your child, who is??
Scripture References:
2 chronicles 20:15 ESV ‘Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's.
Psalm 78:2-4 "I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.
1 Chronicles 5:20 NLT "They cried out to God during the battle, and he answered their prayer because they trusted in him. So the Hagrites and all their allies were defeated."
Laine Lawson Craft (www.lainelawsoncraft.com) is an award-winning author, popular media host, and in-demand speaker. The founder and publisher of WHOAwomen magazine (2010-2018), she regularly hosts online challenges and masterclasses as well as Facebook Live events that reach thousands. Her Warfare Parenting podcast encourages parents of adult children. Laine and her husband, Steve, have three children and live in Fort Walton Beach, Florida.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
204 Hope When Life Takes an Unexpected Detour that Leads to a Hard Place
09 Mar 2023
00:40:04
Episode Summary:
Life has a way of altering our course through unexpected detours. But how do you find hope when life takes an unexpected detour that leads to a hard place? How do you continue putting one foot in front of another? Join me with Grace Fox on the podcast.
Quotables from the episode:
My circumstances made for a perfect storm, and fear could have overwhelmed me were it not for God helping me focus on the truth of His faithfulness.
God is faithful no matter what. He doesn’t promise that life will be easy, but He promises to be with us at all times.
There are no coincidences when God is in our lives.
Crisis or detour places can be some of the places of the richest growth.
Detours into unexpected places keep us looking to God to see us through.
We may not be able to prevent fearful thoughts, but it’s what we do with the fearful thoughts that matter most.
We must choose to embrace joy over fear.
We have no promises for what our future holds, but we are promised who holds our future!
Having a God-perspective keeps our eyes focused on the One who goes with us into the hard places.
It’s helpful to reframe our lives' detours into hard places in terms of learning what God wants us to learn in those hard places.
Put into practice Philippians 4:6-7 –- commit all their anxieties and fears to the Lord with thanksgiving for all He has already done. (Giving thanks is vital to experiencing the peace of God that’s promised in this passage).
Spiritual treasures hidden in dark places are too precious to miss. Stay alert.
*Praise is our best defense when the unexpected catches us off guard. Darkness descends and wind screams around us but remembering and declaring that God rules over every detail fills us with calm.
The darker our circumstances, the more important it is to practice gratitude!
Scripture References:
Philippians 4:6-7 NLT “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
Romans 8:26-27 NLT “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers[a] in harmony with God’s own will.”
Psalm 23:1 NLT “The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.”
Grace Fox is a career missionary and, together with my husband, co-direct International Messengers Canada, a sending agency with about 300 staff in 31 countries. Her passion is to connect the dots between faith and real life by helping others learn to love, understand, and apply God's Word. She and her husband, Gene, live on a sailboat in British Columbia.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Have you ever hit rock bottom in your life? Perhaps received a life-threatening diagnosis? Or lost the one person who kept your feet on solid ground? How do you carry joy and sorrow in the same breath? How do we handle the rock bottom experiences in life? Today we’re going to be talking about how to handle life’s rock-bottom experiences.
Quotables from the episode:
Home is where we are together, but God’s word is a home that can’t be taken from us.
We can’t live off old manna.
Rock bottom is that place where we feel out of faith, and yet we discover that God is faithful.
When we endure trauma, it’s like a bear that is no longer chasing you, but it feels like it is.
God’s not afraid of our questions.
One-third of the Psalms are lament, which is getting honest with God about what’s hard, and opening the door to let the comforter come in.
Grieving is an internal process, where mourning is a public display of loss.
Mourning entails risk because we open our lives to others who may or may not handle our pain well.
Prayer positions us in a place where God can bring healing.
Scripture References:
Matthew 27:46, CEV “Then about that time Jesus shouted, ‘Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?’ which means, ‘My God, my God, why have you deserted me?’”
Isaiah 60:20, ESV “Your sun shall no more go down, nor your moon withdraw itself; for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your days of mourning shall be ended.”
Isaiah 54:10, NIV “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.”
Danita Jenae is a young mom and recent military widow learning to carry both joy and sorrow in the same breath. As an author, speaker, poet, and artist, she walks alongside the broken-hearted, offering practical and creative ways to lead a Spirit-led life at danitajenae.com and @CompanionInSorrow. To help you find your way in sorrow, Danita invites you to grab your free copy of her Find Your Footing Grief Guide at WhenMountainsCrumble.com.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
If you have ever been a victim of spiritual abuse or you know someone who has, you're in the right place. I talk with my guest, Jill Monaco, about how to find freedom from spiritual abuse. What is it and how can you find freedom so you can heal?
Quotables from the episode:
One incident of spiritual abuse made me desensitized to it so it happened again and again.
Spiritual abuse uses a relationship, the Bible, or spiritual authority to manipulate and control people.
A relationship can start off Biblically based then become manipulated over time.
One example of spiritual abuse is when someone in authority makes themselves look better at your expense.
Spiritual abusers don’t allow themselves to be held accountable but you have to be.
Listen to your discernment given to you by the Holy Spirit—if something feels off, consider that it is.
Abuse is using authority or the Bible to manipulate people into doing things.
Jesus took me out of ministry so I could heal from spiritual abuse.
The healing process from spiritual abuse looks different for everyone.
To begin the process of healing from spiritual abuse, first forgive your abuser, and second, focus on being in God’s presence.
You have one heart. If you harden it towards others, you also harden it toward God.
Despite a history of spiritual abuse, keep hoping for the next thing.
Remember, God is greater than the greatest enemy in your life.
Scripture References:
Ephesians 3:20 NIV “Now to him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”
Isaiah 61:1-4 NIV “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.”
2 Corinthians 3:17 NIV “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
John 8:36 “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
Jill Monaco is the founder and CEO of Jill Monaco Ministries, a 501(c)3 nonprofit that has a passion to encourage people to pursue the presence of God and find freedom in Christ.
She is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) life coach with the International Coach Federation and a Certified Master Christian Life Coach (CMCLC) and Mentorship Coach with the International Christian Coach Institute. Jill has developed Freedom Coaching®, a model that blends hearing God, prayer, and coaching tools.
Her first book, The Freedom Coach Model® went to #1 on the Amazon bestseller list. One of her greatest joys is consulting coaches as they establish and grow their business through her program Freedom Business Coaching.
As a Bible teacher, podcaster, and speaker, Jill is known for captivating audiences with her high-energy, humorous approach to life’s serious issues. Her faith-filled and transparent stories encourage listeners to become all that God has created them to be.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
201 How To Live a Single Life without Feeling Lonely
16 Feb 2023
00:41:42
Episode Summary:
A God-designed life doesn’t start when you say “I do” or when you get engaged or even when you meet “the one.” It’s been happening as long as you’ve been alive—even if you’re still single and wish you weren’t. Hannah Schermerhorn knows what it is like. She was months away from getting married when her wedding was called off. She feared being single again, but in the following years, God taught her many hard lessons that transformed her bitterness into authentic joy. Today we’re going to talk about how to live a single life without feeling lonely.
Quotables from the episode:
A person’s identity is not that they are single but that they are loved by God. That means that God has a plan for them and is allowing them to be single right now for a reason. That means God is always with them and they are never alone.
A lifetime is a long time to be married to the wrong person.
We often believe the enemy’s lies about our seasons of singleness, but lies usually come out of the fears we have.
Baggage is anything you carry around with you from your past that negatively impacts your present or your future.
In your singleness, take comfort that God is currently working not only in you, but is also preparing your mate for marriage.
Your “season” of singleness is going to be a tiny piece of your existence in comparison to an eternity of happiness with God.
Singleness and non-singleness are equal according to God! Marriage is not an achievement that makes one more qualified as a human being; it is simply a different and equally important life path.
God sees you in your heartache and pain. In your triggers and anxiety. You do not need to hold on to them alone. God is with you and will help you as you take those first steps to unpack the baggage you have been carrying with you.
We can acknowledge that the difficult feelings are there, but it is our choice whether we let them overtake our lives or give them to God and let Him fill us with joy and confidence.
The world doesn’t expect singles to be happy, so when Christian singles can enjoy their life as is, it is a great evangelism tool!
Scripture References:
Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
1 Corinthians 7:8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.
Jeremiah 31:3 I have loved you with an everlasting love.
Hannah Schermerhorn is an author and speaker who lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, with her cat, Fritz. Her recent book, A Single Life to Live, is written to encourage and uplift singleness. It comes out February 14, 2023. Learn more at www.hannahschermerhorn.com.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Are you tired of dieting? Feeling weak and tired? Are you tired of the dieting yo-yo of losing weight only to gain it back again and more? What do you do when you hate dieting? Today we’re talking about help for disordered eating. My guest has been there, understands, and offers hope, help, and healing for the diet-weary soul.
Quotables from the episode:
Disordered eating comes from an unhealthy relationship with food.
Disordered eating isn’t as much about the food as it is about what we think about food.
You can be free from disordered eating, shame, a negative body image and an unhealthy relationship with food NOW.
God is not a God of chaos, but of order.
When people struggle with disordered eating, they tend to have black and white thinking especially as it relates to food.
You can cultivate a healthy relationship with your body today and not wait for the thinner one you will have in the future.
Dieting works from the outside in while God’s healing operates from the inside out.
We will have no peace when we give the shamer access to our mind and our soul.
Being free has nothing to do with a number on the scale and most of us need to be free enough to treat our body well before we focus on losing weight.
Women struggle with these issues no matter what they weigh. It has nothing to do with numbers, it is all about how we think. God heals us from the inside out!
Become familiar with their own story, process it with the Lord and maybe a counselor, and then begin to combat shame with the Word of God.
Shame is insidious and colors everything we think and perceive.
You are already loved as you are, regardless of what the scale says.
Scripture References:
Be very careful about what you think, because your thoughts run your life (Proverbs 4:23 NCV).
For they have treated the brokenness of the daughter of My people superficially, Saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace (Jeremiah 8:11)
God does not view things the way people do. People look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7b NET)
Laura Acuña is a speaker, author, podcast host and coach. A graduate of Liberty University, she earned a degree in Christian Counseling and a minor in Biblical Studies. Married to Pat, the two are the parents of three sons, and one daughter-in-love. They became first-time grandparents to Evelyn Grace (finally a girl!) in July 2021. Laura challenges her sisters to grow up to become spiritually and emotionally mature. Her new book Still Becoming: Hope, Help and Healing for the Diet-Weary Soul released in December, 2022.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Have you ever felt the sting of rejection with that sense of betrayal and disappointment that breaks your heart? Did you know there’s a positive side to rejection that we can use as an opportunity and a tool to cope with rejection? Jessica Van Roekel is back to share about 4 lenses that you can use to reframe and cope with rejection. We talk about what rejection is, how to know when we’ve experienced it, and learn how God uses rejection to redirect, refine, and restore us.
Quotables from the episode:
Rejection in its simplest form means “no” or a turning away from.
Rejection can fee like betrayal, disappointment, with no expected escape.
There are 4 different lenses through which we can positively view rejection: 1) Humble Awe, 2) Mutual Delight, 3) Trustful Dependence, and 4) Aligned Surrender
The ground is level at the foot of the cross.
God uses rejection to redirect us, refine us, and restore us.
Brokenness is sometimes the way to healing.
God takes the charred places in our life and makes it beautiful again.
When we experience rejection, we need to S.T.O.P.
S-Shift our focus
T-Trust God is faithful and true
O-Observe ourselves, our thoughts, others, and God’s word
P-Proceed by faith into forgiveness
In the positive, we can reject bitterness, resentment, and revenge to be more mature.
To help our children with their fears of rejection, we need to create a culture where its okay to fail in your own home. And remind your kids who they are in Christ, made on purpose for a purpose.
Scripture References:
Deuteronomy 7:6 NIV “For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you out of all peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.”
2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
1 Peter 2:9-10 NIV “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”
Jessica is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Have you ever struggled with rejection? Rejection shows up every day in the world and it’s up to us to change the way we respond to it and address it. Join me as I talk with Jessica Van Roekel about how to overcome rejection.
Quotables from the episode:
I believe wholeheartedly that we experience struggles so that God can use us to help others.
Rejection is a thread that runs through our personal lives and all throughout society.
Perfectionism is a shield against joy.
There are four types of rejection: Perceived, Actual, Unintentional, Intentional
We allow others’ opinions too much room in our lives.
I’ve discovered that rejection shows up every day in the world and it’s up to us to change the way we respond to it and address it.
By welcoming his grace into their lives, others can know hope, joy, peace, forgiveness, and transformation.
In order to break the cycle of rejection, we have to break it from the inside out.
I discovered rejection is a tool God gives us to use in our Christian growth so that I can put off the thought patterns and behaviors that don’t honor him.
Rejection proofing is not the goal, having the right perspective about rejection is.
Scripture References:
Deuteronomy 7:6 NIV “For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you out of all peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.”
2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
1 Peter 2:9-10 NIV “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”
Jessica is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
It seems in recent years, people have become more familiar with the terms narcissist or narcissism, especially as a component of abusive situations. While there is a lot of information out there, not all of it is accurate, so I wanted to share my perspective as a board-certified clinical neuropsychologist. We’re changing things up just a bit this week. My friend, Aliene Thompson, founder of Treasured Ministries, and I were recently talking about narcissism, and I asked her if she would join me on the program to help guide the conversation while I share insight from a clinical perspective. So, in today’s episode we’ll be discussing How to Spot the Narcissist in Your Life!
Quotables from the episode:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a clinical disorder. Such individuals have inflated self-importance, arrogance, pride, vanity, lack of empathy & lack of self-awareness.
A narcissist is someone who loves themselves most of all. They believe they are the center of the universe and no one else matters. They worship themselves.
One in three women are the target of domestic abuse. That accounts for 1.6 million American women between the ages of 16-74.
In a narcissistic relationship, the abused begins to question themselves, experiences guilt, shame, loss of self-esteem.
If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, you may find yourself feeling devalued, invisible, and even worthless. People with narcissism often have a sense of entitlement and require constant validation and approval.
While it’s true that most diagnosed narcissists are men, it’s important to remember that narcissism is a personality disorder that can affect anyone, regardless of gender.
Gaslighting is a real phenomenon, and it's a form of emotional abuse. This is when they try to make you question your own reality and memory.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a serious mental illness that can be extremely destructive to both the narcissist and those around them.
Scripture References:
James 1:19-20 “. . . let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
1 Cor. 13:4-8a "Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”
Dr. Michelle Bengtson lives to break the grip of anxiety and fear, foster regeneration, and renew life in her readers and listeners. She frequently speaks from John 10:10 “The thief only comes to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full.”
From her own personal experience and professional expertise as a clinical Neuropsychologist, she unpacks these words, recognizing in her life and others’ the brokenness that attends life, but also the concrete steps we can take as we walk with Christ through the thin places of life.
196 How to Overcome Time Anxiety and Reimagine Productivity
12 Jan 2023
00:30:03
Episode Summary:
Have you ever imagined a life without hurry, relentless work, multitasking, or scarcity? In a world that tells us to do more, accomplish more, and be more, what is that doing to us and is that consistent with what God says?
Time management is an industry that capitalizes on time anxiety. We are told that we must be more productive, and we buy countless books and listen to innumerable podcasts—all telling us how to do just that. But time anxiety is not solved by doing more and doing it faster. We must recover a Christian vision of time and take up habits that allow us to inhabit the time God has given us. Join me with Jen Pollock Michel as we talk about Time Anxiety: How you can overcome it to reimagine productivity.
Quotables from the episode:
I tried to “crack” the code of pandemic time anxiety. That’s when I realized I had much more to learn about time-faith.
Time anxiety is related to time scarcity, death, and mortality. But the time we have is never long enough.
Productivity tells us how fast we get things done but not why we do things for.
Peace comes when we are rightly oriented to God.
God has enough time!
Time pressure is usually self-imposed.
Time management focuses on the self but often ignores our community or God.
Living life well is a slow and steady process.
The ideal isn’t productivity but fruitfulness in the character of God.
We can gain “more time” by reducing and eliminating distraction.
You cannot manage your time but you can manage your attention.
Remove the word “productive” from your self-assessment!
Time is never a constraint for God.
Scripture References:
Psalm 90:12 “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
Matthew 6:27 “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
James 4:13-15 “Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’”
Jen Pollock Michel is an award-winning author and speaker. Her fifth book, In Good Time: Reimagining Productivity, Resisting Hurry, and Practicing Peace, releases in December 2022. You can follow Jen on Twitter and Instagram @jenpmichel and subscribe to her Monday letters at jenpollockmichel.com.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
303 How to Handle Conflict: Choosing Healing, Honor, and Hope Over Retaliation
30 Jan 2025
00:42:51
Episode Summary:
We've all had moments where we look back on a conflict, shake our heads, and think, why did I handle it that way?
With three decades of ministry experience, Donna Jones has had a front-row seat to--and been in the middle of--all kinds of conflict and she understands the regret, guilt, heartache, and hurt conflict can produce. But she also knows it's possible for God to use those chaotic, painful moments and turn them into opportunities for better connection with those around us.
Whether you are dealing with daily disagreements or occasional blowups, our discussion on how to handle conflict will offer you a new paradigm, one where you learn how to honor God when you've been hurt, communicate when you'd rather retaliate, and move toward others when it seems easier to run away.
Have you ever looked back on a conflict and wished you'd handled it better? Donna Jones shares wisdom on how to handle conflict with humility, communicating effectively, and honoring God in tough moments. Learn how to turn conflict into an opportunity for growth and connection.
Quotables from the episode:
Conflict actually serves as a platform for personal development.
During that difficult season, I had to come to terms with something. I would have nodded and given an intellectual ascent to this truth that I'm about to say, but I didn't yet have to really live it. And that is that you cannot change another person. You can only change yourself.”
You cannot change another person. You can only change yourself.
I need to stop focusing and obsessing over the other people and start really assessing myself and how I'm dealing with this, that's when breakthroughs started to happen.
I grew in my relationship with the Lord because I really got to the point where I had to invite God into this and just say, God, this hurts. I invite you into this pain. I had to search the scriptures and go, I can't do anything about them, but I am responsible for handling my side of the to your word.
Even in the worst-case scenario, when there's not reconciliation in a conflict, there can be personal growth. Because you surrender and you start to go, okay, Lord, I, this is where I really am putting my faith into practice in the really hard stuff of life.
What is the single most important quality necessary for handling conflict in a healthy way? And why is that important? There actually is one single thing that if this piece is missing, you cannot handle conflict in a healthy way. It's that important. And interestingly, Michelle, you brought up Romans 8:28. God causes all things together for the good, for those who love him, for those who are called according to his purpose, but Romans 8:29 is, for whom those he foreknew, he predestined to become conformed to the image of Christ. So how he works things out is he causes us to be more Christ -like. And that one quality that you cannot handle conflict well without is humility. And that's the mark of Jesus.
Humility does not make us a doormat for exploitation. It makes us a doorway for conversation. You can still be angry and be humble. You can still speak your mind and voice your thoughts, feelings, and opinions, and be humble, right? You can still have boundaries and be humble, because biblically, humility is strength restrained. So, it comes from a place of strength. It doesn't come from a place of weakness. And see, when I allow myself just to be humiliated, that comes from a place where I don't have a voice. I don't have, you know, it's a place of weakness, not strength. But if I am choosing to be humble, that is me making a choice to restrain myself.
"At its root, all conflict is really a power struggle." So, think about that, whether it's your toddler or your teenager or your teammate at work, when there's conflict at its root, it's really a power struggle, right? So, who's gonna get their way? Whose voice gets heard? Whose opinion is validated? Who, you know, it's a power struggle.
So, what ends up happening is that when conflict escalates, we're vying for power. You know “you listen to me. No, you listen to me. No, you listen to me. No, no, no, you listen to me, right?” It escalates. This is why that humility is like the key because humility doesn't play the power game. Humility takes the escalation and it deescalates it and that's why it is the superpower for handling conflict.
There's a sweet spot in the middle where we're not avoiders or not attackers. We are addressers. And these are the people who actually go, okay, this is conflict. Avoiding it is not going to make it go away. It's still going to be there and it's still going to be eating me up inside.
Here’s one that most people don’t think of, but it's particularly lethal, and that's being dismissive. So when another person approaches us with a concern, when we say things like, “again? like, oh my gosh, why are you making this such a big deal? Like, just get over it. Like, you're such a drama queen.” Or we roll our eyes, even though we're listening and we're nonverbally, that is basically saying, “I don't care about you, I care about me.” If that is not the precursor to destruction of a relationship, I don't know what it is because when we are dismissive of another person's concern, we're basically disregarding them and it's disrespecting them and you cannot have a relationship with disrespect.
Don’t be dismissive. I would say that's a no -no. And then number two, I would think, is the way we apologize. And sometimes we think, “why do I have to be the first one to apologize?”
Worrying about who goes first or, and this is just as destructive: is to apologize, but add the word “but.” “I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings but you know you…” and then because what that was really saying is the whole fault is yours, I would never have done what I did if you didn't do first what you did and while sometimes that's true that doesn't go far in healing or reconciliation and it certainly doesn't show humility.
Also, don't say, “I'm sorry you feel that way.” That is not an apology, because I'm not owning anything I did.
Somebody has to go first. Why not me, right?
It seems like through this conversation, the word that keeps coming to mind is “honor.” Conflict doesn't usually honor another person. It stirs up pain and accusation which produces resentment and guilt and remorse and all the things. Honor doesn't mean that you agree with them. It doesn't mean that you don't have your own side and your own justification. Isn't that what we all want? Isn't that what drives so much of conflict is we feel like we're dismissed, we're not seen, or not heard and that's what stirs us up to more conflict.
We want to be understood so the faster we can say oh we don't have to agree with it but like, "Oh, I understand why you would feel that way." then it makes the other person feel acknowledged and seen, and it takes this escalation that's happening with the power struggle, 'cause the person's saying, "Please understand me, "please understand me, please understand me." And all of a sudden, it just tones it down, right? This does not mean that we don't have a voice and that we don't also say our perspective, or our opinions, but it's the way we do it is with honor, honoring the other person. And that's the difference.
Whenever I have to have a hard conversation, I pray this, “Lord, let this be a conversation of three, not two.” That's a game changer. So, I would say that's number one. Just “Lord, let this be a conversation of three, you and me and the other person, not just two. “
Scripture References:
Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.
Romans 8:28-30 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who i have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
Hebrews 12:14 Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
Donna Jones is a national speaker, church planter, pastor’s wife, and self-described “Bible-explainer” who has spoken in 26 states and four continents. A graduate of UCLA with a degree in interpersonal communications, she hosts the weekly “That’s Just What I Needed” podcast, and is the author of “Healthy Conflict, Peaceful Life: A Biblical Guide for Communicating Thoughts, Feelings, and Opinions with Grace, Truth, and Zero Regrets.” Donna is passionate about equipping others to know, love, and follow God in their real, everyday lives. She wants to know, love, and follow God this way herself. She and her husband, JP Jones, make their home in Southern California.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Most Bible-believers are not Bible-readers. Many Christians believe that the Bible is the Word of God, but never actually read it. Or they may read bits and pieces, one verse or passage at a time but struggle to apply it to their lives. There are so many reasons why this is true, but it is possible to start today. Even if a person has never read a complete chapter for themselves, God’s Word is readable and do-able. Join me with Wendy Speake for how to love God’s word.
Quotables from the episode:
Most Bible-believers are not Bible-readers. There are so many reasons why this is true, but it is possible to start today.
Even if a person has never read a complete chapter for themselves, God’s Word is readable and do-able.
Culture offers up quick fixes that leave us unsatisfied and still hungry for fulfillment. God’s word fills us up, but creates a thirst for more of Him.
Don’t mistake reading God’s Word for Studying God’s Word. They are not the same.
As you begin your quiet time each day, do you come hungry to hear from the Lord?
God is not confusing or far off — He is near and abiding. And His Word is living and active… and applicable too!
Most of us spend our days shoving food and other fillers into the hurts and holes of our lives. But nothing works to make us whole (or holy) other than our Bibles.
Pinpointing what it is we are turning to, in lieu of turning to God in the pages of His Word, can help us to lay that thing down for a short season and turn instead to the only thing that can satisfy and sanctify us!
Pinpointing and laying down all of the false-fillers is a lot like laying down false-idols. And once the throne is vacant it is a JOY to invite the rightful King to take His place.
I’ve also become aware that all the scrolling and eating and movie watching and shopping can all fall under the umbrella of consuming… ingesting… gobbling… eating. And I know that the more I ingest things that won’t ever satisfy the less I turn to God’s Word — the only thing that can!
I want to hunger and thirst for God and His righteousness and His Word more than anything else! First and foremost every day! But the other stuff gets in the way.
No book has ever been written, nor ever will be, that holds the power to sway a human heart toward the Word of God more than the Bible itself.
Pinpoint what it is you turn to when you are worn out or overwhelmed, then lay it down and pick up your Bible. In Matthew 11:28 Jesus extended this invitation, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
When we stop pushing all the stuff into our lives and bring Him back into the center of our lives… he gives us His rest and His joy and a very real sense of His loving nearness!
“We are not powerless to change when we hold a Bible in our hands, for that Bible holds the power to change us.”
The book will come to an end, but the Word of God never ends. It is the only thing able to satisfy hungry hearts.
Scripture References:
Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
Psalm 119:103 How sweet are Your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Wendy will be leading an online community through The 40 Day Feast during Lent 2023, which starts on February 22nd. You can find out more and sign up at wendyspeake.com/feast
Wendy Speake is author and host of The 40-Day Sugar Fast, The 40-Day Social Media Fast, along with the companion resource, The 40-Day Fast Journal. Her newest book, The 40-Day Feast, invites readers to get hungry for God’s Word then equips them to taste and see how good it is. Wendy is also co-author of the popular parenting books, Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and Parenting Scripts.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
194 Ideas for How to Start Your New Year Off Right
29 Dec 2022
00:40:29
Episode Summary:
It’s the time of year when we assess what we’ve accomplished over the past year, and begin to think about goals and changes for the new year. Some people make New Year’s resolutions. Others create vision boards. Pam Farrel and I share two ideas for how to start your new year off right!
Quotables from the episode:
The acronym for FOCUS is Follow One Course Until Successful.
Whereas new year’s resolutions are usually me-focused, when we choose a word of the year, or a word of focus, we remain God-focused throughout the year.
In choosing your word of the year: 1. Look back; 2. Look ahead; 3. Look to God and His word; 4. Look around; and 5. Look for helps and tools
As you choose your word of the year, ask the clarifying question, “What will help me become more like this ____ a year from now?”
If the new year is a difficult time for you, or you face the winter blues following the holidays, let me encourage you at the FREE Help for When You're Feeling Blue Webinar!
If you or someone you know struggles with the blues, or a more significant case of depression, consider participating in the Online Hope Prevails Bible Study so we can support you!
Scripture References:
Isaiah 43:19 For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
Ephesians 4:21-24 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.
Pam Farrel is an international speaker, author of 57 books including bestselling "Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti" translated into over 15 languages. Her newest creative bible study, co-authored with Jean E Jones and Karla Dornacher, is Discovering Good News In John: A Creative Bible Devotional Study Experience, an Amazon #1 bestseller.
Pam and her husband, Bill, together run Love-Wise, and Proverbs 19:8 ministries to equip, enrich and encourage people in their most vital relationships. Pam's favorite role is being Mom to 3 sons, 3 daughter-in-love’s and Nana to her 5 grands and two new grand babies soon to arrive. Pam and Bill make their home on a live aboard boat docked in Southern California so she also loves biking, a beach walk, kayaking or a paddleboard adventure.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Every year at this time, we enter into the holiday hustle and bustle, and All. The. Things. The tree, the shopping, the decorating, the wrapping, the baking, the parties…I’m so grateful to a perfect God for the gift of Christmas Hope. Without the birth of Jesus, we would have NO HOPE. In this episode, we talk about Christmas Hope. I’m going to share my grown-up Christmas list, pray a blessing, and offer 3 valuable resources to start your new year off well.
Quotables from the episode:
Without the birth of Jesus, we would have NO HOPE.
Over the recent years, I’ve found that what I truly desire for Christmas can’t be wrapped and placed under a tree.
This year, what I wanted more than anything for Christmas was peace for my family and peace for my heart. That calm assurance that comes from being content where you are, with who you are, and who you are with.
I remembered the simplicity of the very first Christmas that didn’t meet anyone’s expectations except God’s. Jesus came in a manger without a party or fanfare. No one expected this to be the entry of a king.
This Christmas and throughout the entire year, all I want is a little more of Jesus for myself and others, and to deepen our love for Him.
What a joy to know there is a safe place to come and share our inner most desires and our deepest needs. And as we thank God for the answers, He promises peace to guard our hearts and minds.
May you experience all the blessings of God as you pursue Him with your whole heart, mind, and soul.
Out of my love and gratitude for you, I want to offer you three resources to look forward to in the new year:
Scripture References:
Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT): “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. TELL GOD what you need, and thank him for all he has done. THEN you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (emphasis mine)
Dr. Michelle Bengtson is an international speaker, a national and international media resource on mental health, and the author of the bestselling, multi-award-winning books Hope Prevails and the Hope Prevails Bible Study. Her book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip won the 2020 AWSA Golden Scroll Book of the Year and the 2021 Christian Literary Reader’s Choice Award in four different categories. She is also the host of the award-winning podcast Your Hope-Filled Perspective. A board-certified clinical neuropsychologist in private practice for more than twenty years, Dr. Bengtson blogs regularly and offers a wide variety of resources on her website, DrMichelleB.com.
192 Partnering with God in the Nitty, Gritty Details of Business and Life
15 Dec 2022
00:38:35
Episode Summary:
Have you ever thought about the fact that God doesn’t need us to accomplish things in this world, but that he offers the opportunity for us to partner with him? Have you ever pondered what partnering with God means, or how to go about it? In this episode, I chat with Kim Avery about partnering with God in the nitty, gritty details of business and life.
Quotables from the episode:
I took a long, hard and honest look at my business and my client’s businesses and had to ask myself these questions: if our business partner is the Almighty, all-knowing, all-providing God why don’t our businesses look any different than the businesses of those who don’t know God?
More than that, we don’t we look any different than entrepreneurs who don’t know God? We are just as hurried, worried, and stressed as they are.
We try to do things for God, but the invitation is to have God with us. That’s a totally different game when we make God our CEO.
I’m so thankful to be learning that God really does care about all the details of my life and that He is available and waiting to help me with it.
As Christ-centered entrepreneurs, God wants us to be bold, humble, joyful, peace-filled, so that what overflows out of us onto others will be consistent with His character.
Partnering with God in prayer doesn’t have to be complicated, fancy, or heroic. Instead it can be BRIEF:
Business-Related: Abandoning our default mindset of if it’s going to be, it’s up to me, we invite God into our daily work, seeking his supernatural presence, purposes, and power.
Relevant: Exchanging our typical global requests, “Bless this business, Lord,” for our granular reality, such as “Help me to be humble and self-forgetful in today’s meeting with Bob,” we ask God to work in and through every specific attitude, activity, and engagement of each particular day.
Inside out: Shifting our prayer focus from a results-only orientation, we pray in cooperation with the way God most likes to work—from the inside out:
In us
In our relationship with him
In our relationships with others
In our relationship with our business
The results our work has in the world
Expectant: Acknowledging that God is always at work, even when things are not what we’d hoped, each day we watch for his moment-by-moment movement, trust his promises, and celebrate his answers.
Frequent: No longer compartmentalizing our relationship with him to discrete times of the day, we practice the presence of God throughout each day, ceaselessly interacting with him as we partner with him to change the world.
We all have a head knowledge that God is for me, but we need to take God’s grand principles into our small, granular reality.
The failure rate in small business is so high because we need to shift our focus to what God is doing in us rather than because of us.
Failure comes when our contribution outpaces our character.
We live in a largely unchurched world, so as entrepreneurs, God gives us the opportunity to reach those who might not otherwise be reached because they don’t set foot in a church.
When we are not trusting God with every aspect of our business, and instead default to worry and hurry, we are essentially being a functional atheist, because we are believing God will not provide.
Start super small with very specific requests that you know God also wants for you, then walk expectantly through your day watching for how He is at work. It’s a treasure hunt and a grand adventure.
Scripture References:
Jeremiah 33:3 NASB ‘Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’
Isaiah 28:16 ESV “Whoever believes shall not be in haste.”
2 Corinthians 9:8 NASB "And God is able to make all grace overflow to you, so that, always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed;"
After leaving her career as a counselor to become a Professional Life Coach, Kim also became an accidental entrepreneur. Coaching was in its infancy then, so it took her years of trial and error and training to create a path to success.
Since that time, she’s made it her goal to help other Christian coaches and entrepreneurs shorten and streamline the business building process.
Kim is now a successful business coach, Vice-President of Marketing at the Professional Christian Coaching Institute, co-host of the Professional Christian Coaching Today podcast, author of The Prayer Powered Entrepreneur: 31 Days to Building Your Business with Less Stress and More Joy.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Do you long to feel a closer connection to God? To discern His voice, experience His peace, and live in His joy? Erica Wiggenhorn and I talk about how to experience God’s faithfulness when surrounded by uncertainty, how to reignite our hope instead of losing heart, and how to realize the call of God, reawakening our purpose when we experience revival in our own hearts.
Quotables from the episode:
Revival is a personal heart cry before God, asking Him to meet us in our desperation and brokenness.
We tend to doubt our beliefs and believe our doubts because of distraction, and as a result, God feels far away.
Doubt can be the doorway to intimacy with God.
Revival brings us to God who can do anything and is always doing the best for us.
The enemy’s desire is to cause us to doubt God’s character.
There is no intimacy without first an investment of time.
Faith is always intermeshed with fear.
What we see as punishment, like God saying no to a request, may actually be God’s protection for us.
Scripture References:
Ezekiel 11:19-20 “I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from then their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God.”
Ezekiel 20:42 “Then. You will know that I am the Lord, when I bring. You into the land of Israel, the land I had sworn with uplifted hand to give to your ancestors.”
Erica Wiggenhorn is an award-winning author and the founder of Every Life Ministries, bringing you the truths of Scripture to transform your life. By digging deeply into God’s Word, Every Life Ministries encourages you to discover your unique purpose, accept God’s promises, and live by His power. She loves to bring God's Word to anyone who’ll listen, whether it’s a large women’s conference, a church women’s retreat, her own kitchen table, or across your computer screen with her teaching series or YouTube Channel.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Do you ever get in a rut with your Bible study? Have you ever wondered “how can I make my Bible study more creative?” Or perhaps, “what’s the most effective way to study the Bible for me?” You won’t want to miss this week’s episode. My friend Pam Farrel and I will talk about how to make our Bible study time more creative! By the time the podcast is over, you’ll want to grab a copy of one of her Bible studies so you can start reaping the benefits!
Quotables from the episode:
Creative Bible study helped me memorize scripture better.
You can’t think of your problems while you’re in the midst of being creative.
Creative Bible study slowed me down to help me pause to ponder God’s word.
The most effective way to study the Bible is whatever method gets you engaged and consistent.
Hope is waiting expectantly for God to show up and show off for your good and for His glory.
The good news is the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Good=beautiful, best, bountiful, and blessed
Scripture References:
“If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32
“…I [Jesus] came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows]” John 10:10 AMP
Pam Farrel is an international speaker, author of 57 books including bestselling "Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti" translated into over 15 languages. Her newest creative bible study, co-authored with Jean E Jones and Karla Dornacher, is Discovering Good News In John: A Creative Bible Devotional Study Experience, an Amazon #1 bestseller.
Pam and her husband, Bill, together run Love-Wise, and Proverbs 19:8 ministries to equip, enrich and encourage people in their most vital relationships. Pam's favorite role is being Mom to 3 sons, 3 daughter-in-love’s and Nana to her 5 grands and two new grand babies soon to arrive. Pam and Bill make their home on a live aboard boat docked in Southern California so she also loves biking, a beach walk, kayaking or a paddleboard adventure.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
189 How To Get Organized and Simplify Your Christmas Holidays
24 Nov 2022
00:43:47
Episode Summary:
We're approaching that time of the year again where the stress and overwhelm of the holiday season can take our emphasis off the reason for the season. We're sharing a replay of a popular podcast episode with Marcia Ramsland, the Holiday Pro. She shares how we can get organized and simplify our Christmas holidays. And the good news is, we can start now!
Quotables from the episode:
Getting organized is something that can be learned and will save you time, give you focus, and mental clarity.
It’s always too early to start preparing until it’s too late to begin! So start your holiday preparations now.
Part of what makes our holidays stressful is the fact that we already fill our days 24x7, then have to add more to our schedules for the holidays.
Simplifying our holidays and our lives starts with decreasing our expectations.
The problem with the poverty in the world is not God’s provision but our distribution.
Scripture References:
Proverbs 13:4 “The sluggish crave and have nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.”
Proverbs 14:1 “A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”
Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
Marcia Ramsland is well known as The Leading Online Organizing Coach, a Business Productivity Expert, and author of the Simplify Your Life: Get Organized and Stay that Way book series, which has sold over 100,000 copies. Marcia is a nationally recognized media guest appearing in Woman’s Day and Real Simple magazines, the Wall Street Journal, and Martha Stewart radio. Marcia believes anyone can become more organized – even you – with the Motivation, Momentum, and Mastery which she provides in her Online Courses and Fast Track Coaching!
For more information or a free consultation visit her website www.organizingpro.com.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
188 How To Have a Simple Christmas and Reconnect with the Real Reason We Celebrate
17 Nov 2022
00:28:09
Episode Summary:
Christmas time can be so stressful. Would you like to experience calm in the midst of the holiday chaos? What if I told you that you could enjoy a more simple Christmas and, in doing so, reconnect with the real reason we celebrate the holiday? Join me with Tama Fortner as we talk about how to have a Simple Christmas.
Quotables from the episode:
“Simple Christmas” is the book I wish someone had written for me when my children were little, before I had all these life experiences under my belt. So many things about “how Christmas is supposed to be” just didn’t work for my family. I want to give moms permission to chart their own course, while also providing some thoughts to draw them closer to God and His Son.
It’s important to learn to be more thoughtful and intentional about what we allow into our life and our family time, especially at the holidays. Just because we’ve always done this or everybody does that, doesn’t mean it’s right for us this year.
As you launch into this holiday season and start filling up calendars and to-do lists, ask yourself three questions: Does it make me smile? Does it make my loved ones smile? (Because aren’t those the things that makes us mamas smile?) And, most importantly, does it make God smile? When you filter everything through these three questions, the things that really matter quickly rise to the top.
If a holiday tradition is no longer working for your family, kick it to the curb!
The need to keep up with what everyone else is doing is overwhelming. Give yourself permission to simplify, to let some things go to savor the most important things this holiday.
Recognize that as a child or daughter of God, you are loved regardless of what you do, how perfectly wrapped the gifts are, or how beautiful the holiday table is.
When you reach yours or others’ expectations for yourself, the bar moves, the level increases, and you’re under more stress to continually be doing even more.
Always start with reading the Bible! That is where God talks to us, where His will, His way, and His peace are found. Quiet time can be hard to carve out for moms, so I suggest that quiet time doesn’t have to look “perfect”—with a cozy chair, coffee, Bible, and an hour of uninterrupted silence.
Sometimes quiet time is a state of mind that we carry with us into the chaos. And sometimes it has to be snatched up in a moment here and there. So keep a Bible with you always. I love an actual paper Bible, but apps on the phone are so convenient to soak up a verse waiting in carpool or whenever you have a moment.
When we start our day off in the word, and allow Him to set our intentions, we will get done what HE deems important for the day, and we will feel more at peace.
Jesus’s ministry was centered around interruptions. When we allow ourself to be interrupted and look for the possibility in those interruptions, we will find the people in need and what they need, so that we’re accomplishing God’s to-do list for the day.
Let other moms be good at what they are good at without the need to compare yourself to them. You’ll shine in the areas that you are good at.
Consider what it is that you want at the end of the holiday season, and then your to-do list will begin to reflect what you ultimately desire.
Scripture References:
Luke 2:19 (NIV) — Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.
Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV) — You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Luke 1:47–48 (NIV) — My spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.
Acts 17:28 (NIV) -- For in him we live and move and have our being.
Tama is an ECPA award-winning author with more than forty titles to her credit. She is the writer behind the bestselling Indescribable for Kids series with Louie Giglio, as well as a number of books in the Jesus Calling children’s line, including the wildly successful Jesus Calling: 365 Devotions for Kids, which has sold more than 1,000,000 copies to date. Tama has collaborated with such well-known authors as Max Lucado, Rebekah Lyons, and Emily Ley to create inspirational books for all ages.
Tama has been working as a freelance writer, ghostwriter, and editor for more than twenty-five years. She holds a Bachelor of Arts from University of the Cumberlands and a master’s degree from Appalachian State University. Tama and her husband have two children who are growing up much too fast for their mama’s liking. They live on the outskirts of Nashville, Tennessee, where they enjoy sampling new restaurants, watching old movies, and eating lots of popcorn with far too much butter and salt.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
187 How to Rest Effectively to Refill and Refuel when Life is Busy
10 Nov 2022
00:37:09
Episode Summary:
Life is busy. There always seems to be more to do than time to do it. We often miss the special moments because we rush through life. Resting allows us to savor those moments. If you struggle to rest effectively so that you can refill and refuel, this episode is for you! Marci Siether shares the art of how to rest effectively.
Quotables from the episode:
We often miss the special moments because we rush through life. Resting allows us to savor those moments.
Resting is often about pacing and prioritizing…like the difference between sprinting versus running a marathon—those runners don’t start off at the same pace. We need to pace ourselves, with moments of rest so we can make it through the things that must be done.
If we don’t take time to come to a full rest and refuel, we end up “bleeding out” on ourselves and those around us.
Too often we reserve rest and relaxation for vacation because we feel guilty for resting. But God offers us rest as a gift.
We need to give ourselves buffer in our lives to create margin, which reduces our stress when things don’t go as planned.
We need rest, we deserve rest, and we will be more productive for taking time to rest.
Rest is something God set as an example for us from the beginning. It isn’t something that we HAVE to do..it is something that refills and refuels us. When we don’t fully rest..it is like the lesson of the bell ringer.. that knows an unsilenced bell allows the sound to “bleed’.
Don’t wait. Put it on the calendar. Take time and MAKE time to set apart a moment to rest. Rest and peace are often interchangeable. In a world so desperate for peace..set the pace in your own heart, with your own family. Whether it is at the cabin on a lake or on the back porch with a cup of your favorite tea or coffee. Take time to rest in the Lord today.
Peace and patience go hand in hand.
Scripture References:
Psalm 62:1-2 NIV “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.”
Matthew 11:28-29 NIV “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give your rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
John 14:27 NIV “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Marci Seither’s writing career began after her humor article was published in a small-town newspaper over twenty years ago. Since then, she has authored two books and hundreds of articles for local papers as well as Guideposts, Focus on the Family, and Clubhouse Magazine. Her biggest joy, besides being married to John for 37 years and raising six kiddos is spending time with her grandkids in the kitchen.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Kristine Brown and I talk about learning to trust God, especially in our decisions. Making decisions is a process, and it can seem overwhelming at times. Kristine shares what she learned in order to move from decision fatigue to trusting God with her decisions.
Quotables from the episode:
So often we trust God with the big things in life, when it’s the little things that seem so hard to trust Him with.
When my pastor said, “You know God’s got this, right?” I realized I wasn’t so sure I did. That’s when I realized something needed to change.
I wanted to go from saying I trusted God to actively living it out in my life.
In order to fully trust God, we have to trade our “what ifs?” for “living as if!”
I came to the place where I prayed, “Lord, show me what you want me to learn through the hard stuff.”
We struggle to trust God because we want the assurance that everything will be okay.
We must make our decisions in good faith to trust that the Holy Spirit is guiding us.
The best thing we can do as we learn to trust God more with our decisions is to make a daily commitment to release control to God.
Scripture References:
Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
Psalm 73:24 ESV “You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.”
Hebrews 10:23 ESV “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.”
Kristine Brown is a ministry wife, mom, stepmom, and Mimi. A former chronic worrier, Kristine loves connecting women today with women of the Bible and sharing lessons learned through her website, freelance writing, and speaking to women’s groups. Any given day you can find her texting her young adult kids, taking a walk through her neighborhood, or ordering another new book to read. To connect with Kristine, visit kristinebrown.net.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
302 Tips and Strategies for Coping With Seasonal Affective Disorder
23 Jan 2025
00:37:22
Episode Summary:
In the last episode, Jessica and I discussed managing seasonal affective disorder with faith and hope. We talked about what Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is, how to recognize it, and some practical strategies to cope with it. This week, we’re offering additional tips and strategies for coping with SAD. If you’re struggling with Seasonal Affective Disorder, these tips will help you find renewed strength and hope through practical, faith-filled strategies grounded in both Scripture and proven clinical insights. Learn how to care for your mind, body, and spirit while trusting God to meet you in your need.
Quotables from the episode:
Seasonal Affective Disorder is a mental health concern that typically shows up in the colder, darker winter months, linked to seasonal changes.
Some common symptoms of seasonal affective disorder include fatigue or exhaustion, feelings of sadness, increased loneliness, discouragement, lack of motivation, decreased interest in previously enjoyable activities, change in appetite, and/or change in sleep patterns. If you’ve experienced more than a couple of these for more than a few weeks, you might be struggling with Seasonal Affective Disorder
When we struggle with depression or other mental health disorders, it can impact our faith walk in our faith journey.
We need to address mind, body, and soul, so we cannot leave out the spiritual aspect of our emotional struggles.
When you’re in the middle of seasonal affective disorder, immerse yourself in Scripture somehow, whether you listen to it read to you through the YouVersion Bible app, or maybe You just camp out in Ephesians and you just reread that book through the month of January and then pick another book in the month of February.
Worship music, that ministers to my heart in so many ways, especially when it's so hard to read. When I'm depressed, I find it hard to comprehend what I'm reading, but worship music penetrates all of that and I still feel touched and connected and I can praise God.
Rest is so important for one thing because we can have a tendency to push and push and push and push especially during the holidays. We have mentioned this in previous episodes that a lot of us take on a lot of extra duties during the holidays, but nothing ever comes off our plate. So then we get to January and February, we feel depleted.
We cannot continue to pour out of an empty cup. So we have to take time to physically rest, mentally rest, and spiritually rest to recharge.
God wants us to take some time to rest. And the good news about that is that while we are resting in him, he's doing things in the background. We're not going to do anything important. So, if we could look at these wintering months with expectancy of what God's going to do, maybe they won't have such a downcast experience in our soul.
It's also important to stay connected with friends and family. When I have been in the throes of SAD, as an extrovert, it's tempting to withdraw because it just takes too much energy. But I know that I need to have interaction and even having 50 % of my family introverts, they still need social interaction just because you're an introvert doesn't mean that you're not social. It means how you rejuvenate your energy. But it's so important to keep reaching out to friends, to stay connected to family, and your faith community for support.
Call a friend once a week. And if calling is too much, send them a text just saying, "Hey, thinking of you, I have found when I am in the depths, the darkness, I am encouraged, I can encourage myself when I reach out to someone else." And it doesn't have to be something major, it could just be say, "Hey, thinking of you, I saw this funny, funny meme and it made me think of you." That type of a thing.
God plants the name of somebody in my heart to reach out to. And it's countless times when I've done that and they've responded that that was just what I needed or I needed to feel seen and you did that today. So if that inkling is there, that's probably the Holy Spirit putting them on your heart.
When we're struggling with seasonal effective disorder, it is really easy to read into other people's motives and intentions. And we don't want them to do that to us. Exactly. Exactly. We also want you to stay attached to the vine. And as Jesus talks about, he is the vine, God is the vine keeper, and we are the branches. And when we are apart from the vine, we will bear no fruit. It can be really tempting when we're struggling with any degree of depression to pull back. - Yes. - To not pray. To give up our time in the word. We want to encourage you to immerse yourself.
If you’re having a hard time remembering truth, ask the Holy Spirit to remind you of truth. That is his job. Jesus said he was going to send the Holy Spirit to remind us of all truth but the Holy Spirit cannot remind us of truth that we have not already taken in. It’s our responsibility to be in the Word so that the Holy Spirit can remind us of the Word.
Getting counseling or therapy is a very good practical thing to do and it’s a sign of strength, not weakness.
It’s important to get a medical physical to rule out medical contributors to your mood.
Scripture References:
John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
185 Raise children to have a strong foundation in Jesus
27 Oct 2022
00:34:36
Episode Summary:
Lee Ann Mancini and I talk about raising children to have a strong foundation in Jesus. It’s her passion to equip parents with valuable resources so they can raise their children to have a strong foundation in Jesus—the only foundation that will last. This is such an important topic given the world we live in and the influences our children are under. We talk about how to help kids with bullying, why forgiveness is important, why kids are walking away from their faith and more.
Quotables from the episode:
I see how children are walking away from their faith – first priority is the salvation of our children and the preservation of Christianity.
Kids are leaving home and being influence by a humanistic perspective from their professors and peers.
The enemy of our soul and our children’s souls likes to attack at the foundation. We need to give our children spiritual meat, not mild.
If our children don’t have a solid foundation in Jesus by the age of 10, they are significantly more likely to walk away from their faith.
I believe His will for me is to equip all who are raising the next generation to have a strong foundation in Jesus that will last a lifetime.
Don’t look at the world and have despair – With God’s help, we can overcome. God’s word tells us the whole narrative, and we only need to walk in faith and spiritual sight.
Your kids will reflect the mirror of your character.
Our children are our future. We need to rely on the Holy Spirit for their transformation and do all we can to teach them the ways of the Lord.
One of the most important things we can teach our children is how to forgive each other.
Play is the highest form of science and education for our children.
Make today the day that you decide what is most important for raising our children to have a strong foundation in Jesus.
Scripture References:
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 NIV: Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Psalm 78:5-6 NIV: He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.
Psalm 51:6 NIV: Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
Lee Ann hosts the award-winning Raising Christian Kids podcast, which can be found on all major platforms, including CounterCultureMom.com, Pray.com, and Edifi.app. Raising Christian Kids is a five to ten-minute podcast that equips and empowers parents, grandparents, teachers, and all who are raising the next generation to have a strong foundation in Jesus. Lee Ann also has an informative webinar presentation that highlights her research and biblical knowledge in this area. “It is first about the salvation of the children and then about the preservation of Christianity.” There is truth to the adage, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world!”
Lee Ann is an award-winning Christian children’s author and Executive Producer of the new animation series Sea Kids, which can be seen on Trinity Broadcasting Network, Pure Flix, Right Now Media, and SeaKidsTv.com. Lee Ann Mancini received a B.A. in Biblical and Theological Studies from Regent University, a Master’s degree in Theological Studies from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (Trinity International University), and two Master’s degrees from Knox Theological Seminary in Biblical and Theological Studies and Christian and Classical Studies.
She is a professor at South Florida Bible College and Theological Seminary teaching Apologetics, Romans, Ministerial Ethics, Prison Epistles, and The Bride of Christ. She holds a board position with South Florida Bible College & Theological. She also holds a board position with the Alexandrian Forum, under the tutelage of Dr. Warren Gage Th.M., J.D., Ph.D., an organization seeking to bring a greater understanding of the Bible by hosting annual Typology Conferences in South Florida dedicated to the theme of Christ as the center of scripture.
Her God-given mission and desire are to serve all who are raising the next generation of Christians by preparing the soil to be rich from the womb to age three in which to plant the seeds that grow deep roots from ages four to ten.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
184 How To Forgive Someone Who Hurt You Emotionally and Isn’t Sorry
20 Oct 2022
00:37:07
Episode Summary:
How do you forgive someone who hurt you emotionally? How do you forgive someone who traumatized you? How do you forgive someone who isn’t sorry? Our guest, Mark Sowersby, shares a gripping testimony of forgiveness, God’s grace, and overcoming in the midst of life’s hurts, pains, and abuses. Join us as we talk about how to forgive someone who has hurt you and isn’t sorry.
Quotables from the episode:
I was an abused victim but I learned that was not my identity. My identity was a child of God.
I came to realize, I’m not a victim—I’m victorious because I made it through.
The first casualty of trauma is the loss of trust.
When you ask God hard questions, you get hard answers, but you get the right answers for you.
If you start by moving a pebble, then a stone, then a hill, eventually with faith you will move mountains.
God became bigger than my mountain of pain, abuse, and trauma.
Forgiveness comes through Jesus.
Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.
Trusting God is where forgiveness begins.
Scripture References:
Psalm 10:14 NIV “But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.”
Acts 10:34 KJV “Then Peter opened his mouth and said, ‘Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons.’”
Pastor. Husband. Father. Reverend Mark Sowersby has been married to his wonderful wife Jennifer for 18 years and is the father of four children. Mark has been an ordained minister with Assembly of God for over 25 years and is currently the Pastor of Calvary Community Church in Dudley, MA. Pastor Mark holds a BA in theology from Zion Bible College/Northpoint Bible College.
In 2019 Pastor Mark went through a time of great healing. He began speaking about the experiences of his past and God’s grace and the transformational work of forgiveness in his life. He now speaks about his story through his ministry, Forgiving The Nightmare.
When he isn’t serving his congregation and his community through ministry, teaching, and support, you can find him on all the trails and lakes in Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Upstate New York, spending time with his family.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Latest statistics indicate that about 20% of Americans have experienced attempted or completed rape. That is over 430,000 American victims each year, 1 rape every 73 seconds. Yet only 5 out of 1,000 rapists go to jail. What has led to tolerance of sexual violence and trauma? Why is this the most underreported and under-prosecuted crime in this nation? Why are so few perpetrators held accountable? What can we do to end sexual violence, compassionately meet the needs of victims and show perpetrators that we take this crime seriously? Our guest, Lisa Saruga, is going to share how to heal from sexual trauma and violence.
Quotables from the episode:
Not everyone who is the victim of sexual assault is a survivor. This title is used to empower victims, but some victims carry a burden of trying to live up to that title. Do the hard work of surviving.
God doesn’t forget our experiences. He wants to heal us, but we have to be open to the work that healing entails. God didn’t purpose for you to be abused, but he can use all things for his purpose.
I have learned to trust God, his timing, and his faithfulness. He showed me in a powerful way that when we are working to chip away at walls that stand in the way of healing, we have no idea what kind of powerful work he is doing on the other side of that wall.
Often justice doesn’t look like we think it should, but God is just!
Only 2.5% of all rapists go to jail.
Sadly, in our justice system, if there is no conviction of a perpetrator, there is no protection of the victim.
While God does not purpose for us to experience trauma, he can use our trauma for his purposes if we let him. Sometimes he is up to great things when we don’t even sense that he remembers our trauma.
I encourage victims to find a support network and talk about the experience. Hiding it away on a back shelf in our brain does not work forever.
If you’ve been the victim of sexual assault, you first have to decide what is right for you. Some people want to report the assault, but others don’t because of the resulting blaming and shaming. But definitely seek a support system to walk you through the healing process. Know that it takes hard work to be a survivor.
We all experience bad things in our life. We can heal from trauma with appropriate help, but tragedy results when we don’t heal from the trauma.
Scripture References:
Romans 8:28 (NLT) And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
2 Corinthians 1:4 (NLT) He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.
Psalm 27:13 (NLT) Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.
Recommended Resources:
Lisa’s Journal: Writing a Bright Future (Upside Down and Inside Out) and the white gel pens are available in her shop at LisaSaruga/Shop
Lisa is a licensed professional counselor, keynote speaker, author, and legal and ethical specialist. She specializes in therapy for victims of sexual violence. Her own story resulted in the reopening of her thirty-five-year cold case, when someone finally reported the identity of the man who wore a ski mask when he assaulted Lisa as a freshman in college. The man was never arrested because of archaic laws and loopholes that protect perpetrators over victims. Lisa regularly meets with legislators to advocate for laws to protect victims of sexual violence. She believes that, although God doesn’t purpose for us to experience trauma, he can use every event in our lives for his purposes.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Domestic abuse is the most misunderstood yet silenced epidemic of our time in our churches and in society. The numbers are mind-boggling. 35% of women at some point in their lives experience stalking, rape, and/or physical abuse, and nearly half experience coercive control and/or emotional and verbal abuse. Those numbers are astounding. And they are no different in the church. We all know someone whose life has been turned upside down by domestic abuse. Charlene Quint and I talk about recognizing, removing, and recovering from domestic abuse in a “Christian” marriage.
Quotables from the episode:
In its simplest form, abuse is any behavior that is used to gain and maintain power over another.
Domestic abusers tend to have a lack of empathy, a grandiose sense of self, pride, and a lack of remorse.
Cheap grace is grace that is extended without true repentance.
The #1 reason people stay in an abusive relationship is fear regarding a lack of financial resources.
Every relationship with an abuser will end badly.
If you’ve been in an abusive relationship, be gentle with yourself, heal, restore, and live intentionally.
If God has removed someone from your life, you don’t need them.
Scripture References:
2 Timothy 3:2-5 NLT “For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!”
Genesis 50:20 NLT “You intended to harm be, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.”
Charlene Quint is a family law attorney in the Chicago area who focuses her practice on helping women overcome domestic abuse. She wrote "Overcoming the Narcissist, Sociopath, Psychopath, and Other Domestic Abusers: The Comprehensive Handbook to Recognize, Remove and Recover from Abuse" to help victims of domestic abuse become the fearless victors that God designed them to be. She is the founder of AbuseCare.org, a nondenominational faith-based organization designed to provide hope and healing to women in their journey from victim to victorious and to educate and equip churches in caring for victims of domestic abuse. Quint is co-chair of the Partnership for a Safer Lake County, a network of organizations combating all forms of abuse. She is a Certified Domestic Violence Professional, an advocate for victims of abuse, a facilitator of multiple support groups, and a domestic abuse survivor. She speaks publicly to raise awareness of domestic abuse and provides training for churches on how to address abuse in the church.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
If we’ve lived long enough, many of us have gone through difficult friendships. Sometimes, we’ve endured friendships where we’re just not appreciated as much as we give out and others seem to die way too early. Some of those relationships can be some of the most painful experiences that we go through. Join me for this replay of an author interview with Mary DeMuth about her book, 7 Deadly Friendships.
Quotables from the Episode:
There can be redemption in a relationship that’s hard.
No one should demand that you forgive on their timetable.
If someone is really angry at me, I have prayed a lot, Lord, deliver them from their bitterness and give them the power to forgive me.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation.
I believe that life is, life really is boiled down to our relationships.
If someone is bringing you down and it’s affecting your relationship with God and your relationship with others, it’s important to recognize that for the sake of your own soul.
Mary DeMuth is an international speaker and podcaster, and she’s the novelist and nonfiction author of more than 40 books, translated into five languages. She loves to help people re-story their lives. She lives in Texas with her husband of 29 years and is the mom to three adult children. Find out more at marydemuth.com, or be prayed for on her daily prayer podcast prayeveryday.show. For sexual abuse resources, visit wetoo.org.
180 How We Can Be Transformed and Not Conformed to the World
22 Sep 2022
00:28:41
Episode Summary:
Missy Eversole and I talk about how we can be transformed and not conformed to the world. What does conformity to the world mean? How can we avoid being conformed to the world? If you’re a people pleaser, you won’t want to miss her story.
Quotables from the episode:
The older I get, the more I realize that all I really need is Jesus. I don’t need to be “Pinterest perfect.” I just need Jesus.\
No matter how spiritually dry you are, Jesus is waiting for you with open arms, ready to quench that thirst with the Living Water that He provides.
It’s not sustainable to think we can live in a Pinterest-perfect life.
Conforming means we are blending in with the world when we are called to be salt and light.
When we begin the transformation process, we see small results right away.
If you have time to scroll on social media, we have time to read the Bible.
Scripture References:
Romans 12:2 ESV “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
Missy Eversole is a wife, mom of two sons, an author, and a speaker. She and her husband, Craig, have been married for twenty-one years and live in Morton, Illinois. Missy shares her love for digging deep into God’s Word as a contributing writer for Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies. She is the author of Transformed, Not Conformed: Embracing a Life-Changing Approach to Spiritual Habits and writes about her faith and family on her blog, MissyEversole.com.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
179 Importance of Sharing Your Story to Encourage Others
15 Sep 2022
00:28:15
Episode Summary:
In this episode, my guest, Meg Glesener, and I talk about the importance of sharing our stories. Meg lived a hard life of childhood abuse, alcoholism, berating, and abandonment, yet through her trials, she learned the value of our individual stories. Sharing your story is powerful! Join us for encouragement that comes from an extraordinary story of faith.
Quotables from the episode:
God has taught me that we don’t have to prove ourselves loveable to Him. He loves us regardless.
It’s not time to share our story with others until we are no longer reliving the pain of it.
Sharing our story with others, whether one or many, is planting seeds of courage in them to do the same.
Scripture References:
Ps. 147:3 ESV "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Rom. 11:4 ESV "But what was the divine response to him? I have kept for myself seven thousand people who have not bent the knee to Baal.” (Elijah felt sooooo alone in his pain and struggle. But he wasn't. And we aren't either.)
John 14:3 ESV "And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also."
Meg Glesener is the host and producer of the Letters From Home Podcast, where she publishes every other week for your encouragement, "Everyday Extraordinary Faith Stories". Her podcast can be found on Spotify, Amazon, Stitcher and all of the places podcasts live, including most social media platforms. She and her husband Mike, and their youngest 3 kids live and serve in Seattle, Washington.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
How do you navigate major life transitions? Life doesn’t always go the way you planned. How do you find hope when pain and heartache enter your story? If you are struggling with an unexpected and unwanted transition in your life, today is the episode for you. Page Geske shares how to navigate life transitions triumphantly. There is hope for the journey.
Quotables from the episode:
Our physical scars can point people to Jesus if we allow them to.
When navigating a difficult transition, you have to choose to press into God and trust Him regardless of the outcome.
Instead of asking “Why me?” It’s more productive to ask “Why not me?”
God gives a test and develops a testimony to those who will testify about what God has done.
Scripture References:
Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding, seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.”
1 Corinthians 6:19 NLT “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit; who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself.”
John 14:26 NIV “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”
Page Geske’s professional career involved being a former campus pastor with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. She also worked in the healthcare industry, and as a sales professional within the advertising industry. Her professional life has been as important as the adversities in defining her. She experienced a severe automobile accident with many subsequent surgeries and rehabilitation, and the loss of a marriage at a time when she needed support most. Yet despite it all, Page has intentionally pursued living out loud according to God’s original design.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Have you ever thought about how to look at pain as a gift? Is it possible? In this episode, I talk with Tera Bradham DeNeui, a swimmer who had her sights on the Olympics until injury and chronic pain entered her life, changing the path God had for her. If you suffer with chronic pain, you won’t want to miss her hope filled message.
Quotables from the episode:
When you can’t hold on anymore, you have to trust that God is still holding on to you.
Lord, complicate my life with a holy complication.
My discipline with swimming led to my discipline in spending time with God in my daily quiet time.
We are socialized to believe questioning God indicates a lack of faith. But in reality, asking God questions shows our trust and faith in God.
If you find God in your suffering, and prove Him to be faithful, you will likely never walk away from Him.
Your pain has a tendency to close you in and decreases your vision.
Because we cannot turn off our pain, it forces us to look to God.
Freedom is being able to live outside our circumstances and know that our pain doesn’t define us.
God’s heart in suffering holds us in our suffering and redeems it.
Because Jesus suffered, He understands our suffering.
God heals people in the way that brings Him the most glory.
While we may long for God to heal us physically, the ultimate healing is in our hearts.
Scripture References:
Jeremiah 33:6-9 (Tera's life promise) “Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security. I will bring Judah and Israel back from captivity and I will rebuild them as they were before. I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me. Then this city will bring me renown, joy, praise, and honor before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant peace and prosperity I provide for it.”
Jeremiah 17:14 (NIV) “Heal me and I will be healed. Save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.”
2 Corinthians 6:3-10 (NIV) “We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry may not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance, in troubles hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments, and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights, and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, good report and bad report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many people rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.”
Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV) “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Tera Bradham DeNeui is an author, speaker, and podcast host. She loves to talk to animals like they're humans, curl up with a great book in an equally great blanket, and help others see God's faithfulness amidst their suffering. Her journey has led her across the world to deliver messages of empowerment and purpose. Tera writes and leads the Heal Ministry from her home in Vancouver, Washington.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
176 How To Keep Your Heart Happy in the Midst of Chaos
25 Aug 2022
00:42:24
Episode Summary:
Have your circumstances ever stolen your joy? Have you ever wanted to maintain a happy heart despite chaotic circumstances? Author and speaker, Tricia Goyer has a message for all the overworked, underappreciated moms: now is the time to tend your soul. We talk about how to have a happy heart in the midst of chaos.
The key is to stay centered on God’s love during chaotic circumstances.
Quotables from the episode:
“When we make small, positive changes to cultivate a heart that's happy in the Lord everything changes.”
Happiness can also be translated blessed. It’s not happy – I’m going to Cancun, or happy – I lost 10 lbs. It is that deep blessed settledness that comes from walking in God’s ways.
Happiness comes from walking out what the Lord is asking us to do.
Getting our heart happy is walking out the happiness that only God can provide.
By resting in the joyous comfort and love of God, true transformation can be found.
Tricia Goyer is a busy mom of ten, grandmother of many, and wife to John. Somewhere amid the hustle and bustle of family life, she manages to find the time to write fictional tales that delight and entertain readers, and nonfiction titles that offer encouragement and hope. A USA-Today bestselling author, Tricia has published seventy-five books to date and more than 500 articles. She is a two-time Carol Award winner, as well as a Christy and ECPA Award finalist. Tricia is a member of the blogging team at TheBetterMom.com and other homeschooling and Christian sites. In addition to her roles as wife, mom, and author, Tricia volunteers in her community and mentors teen moms. Learn more about Tricia at www.triciagoyer.com.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
301 Managing Seasonal Affective Disorder with Faith and Hope: Finding Light in the Darkness
16 Jan 2025
00:33:37
Episode Summary:
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a subtype of depression characterized by recurrent episodes that occur at specific times of the year, most commonly during the fall and winter months. It is officially classified as a type of major depressive disorder with seasonal pattern in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). If you struggle with seasonal depression during the winter months, know that you aren’t alone, and there is help. In this episode, Jessica and I discuss managing seasonal affective disorder: what it is, how to recognize it, and practical strategies to cope with it.
Quotables from the episode:
Seasonal Affective Disorder is a mental health concern that typically shows up in the colder, darker winter months, linked to seasonal changes.
Up to 3% of the general population is prone to Seasonal Affective Disorder. But those who are prone to depression are 10-20 times more likely to experience Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Some common symptoms of seasonal affective disorder include fatigue or exhaustion, feelings of sadness, increased loneliness, discouragement, lack of motivation, decreased interest in previously enjoyable activities, change in appetite, and/or change in sleep patterns. If you’ve experienced more than a couple of these for more than a few weeks, you might be struggling with Seasonal Affective Disorder.
There are many contributors to seasonal affective disorder:
Biologically, studies have proven that the changes in the amount of sunlight significantly impacts our hormones and our mood.
There are psychological contributors to seasonal affective disorder: we have just come off the holidays where there’s so much to do that it’s difficult to maintain a consistent schedule. Often we skimp on eating nutritionally, we skimp on sleep because we need more time to get everything done. Then come January 2nd, we wonder “what now? What do I have to look forward to now?”
Seasonal affective disorder can impact our ability to hear God’s voice.
There are examples in the Bible that if we were to apply current clinical diagnostic criteria 2000 years ago, there are several who probably would have been diagnosed with depression: Jeremiah, Job, David.
The winter months look so barren. Everything appears dead, but it’s not. It’s a season of wintering. If the land doesn’t have winter rest, the soil gets depleted. If we can look at SAD as a time of wintering and hold on to the fact that God does a mighty work even in the winter, it can give us hope and it can build our faith even when we are struggling with SAD.”
During the wintering months, God is doing something even our outside environment looks like it’s dead. If we focus on the fact that life feels really dark when you struggle with seasonal affective disorder, but God is our light.
John 1:5 “The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” But when we’re struggling with seasonal affective disorder, it can feel like darkness has overcome us.
For many who struggle with seasonal affective disorder, a light therapy lamp can be helpful because it mimics the sunshine we don’t get enough of during the winter months. You can sit in front of that light for 10-30 minutes a day while you’re reading, while you’re doing your quiet time in the morning, or have it next to you in the kitchen where you’re fixing a meal.
Because seasonal affective disorder can have an impact physiologically on our body, it’s important during the winter months that we are still getting time outside, even when it’s not sunny.
Research has shown that just taking a walk for 10-15 minutes outside significantly elevates mood.
When it’s too cold to get outside, you can move with the sun through your house. Sit near a sunny window.
During the winter months, it’s important to make sure you are getting enough vitamin D.
During winter months, consider taking up a new hobby that would bring you joy.
When I have too much time alone, I find myself in this weird cycle of knowing that I need to do, which is to go be by people, but not having the energy or motivation to go be by people.
During the darker winter months, my daughter and I plan Saturday fun days. We made a list of things that we could do each Saturday through January and February so we’d have something to look forward to. They don’t have to cost any money. One Saturday it was “Let’s stay in our pajamas and watch morning movies.” One Saturday we did painting.
You may not feel like you have the energy to exercise, so start small. Set a small goal of just 5 minutes, and over time you will find that that will give you more energy to exercise longer two or three days later.
If you are suffering, cling to the Lord. He will guide your steps. He will walk you through this darkness.
In part 2, we will be offering more practical strategies to help you cope with seasonal affective disorder.
Scripture References:
John 1:5 “The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.”
Isaiah 43:1-3 ““Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
So often as parents we focus on raising our children but give little attention to preparing for life when they are no longer in our home. Today we’re going to be talking about reinventing yourself after the empty nest. Jill Savage is here to give us hope from her own experience.
Quotables from the episode:
Empty nesting is like experiencing grief upon grief…nothing prepares you for the tsunami of emotions.
Think of the empty nest as your encore season.
If we don’t let go of what was, we can’t hold on to the new.
You’ll always be a mother or father, but you are no longer parenting them.
Our expectations are preconceived resentments. The higher our expectations, the greater the risk of discontentment.
It’s time to keep our opinions to ourselves and join the “keep it shut club” and pray it, don’t say it.
When we let go of opinions, we become a safe place to be around.
Your kids’ new life is not a rejection of you, it’s a reflection of their growth and independence, learning how to navigate adulthood.
Sometimes we’ve made our kids’ successes/choices an idol in our heart.
Worry is a worship of our circumstances.
Motherhood is a ministry of availability.
“What do you have for me, Lord? Help me to see that more than less.”
Jill Savage is an author and speaker who is passionate about relationships. She has been called one of today’s most exciting female speakers. Her honest, engaging communication is strengthened by her ability to make her audience laugh while they learn.
Jill is the host of the No More Perfect Podcast and the author of fourteen books including Empty Nest, Full Life, Real Moms ... Real Jesus, the best-selling No More Perfect Moms, No More Perfect Kids, Better Together, and No More Perfect Marriages. Jill and her husband, Mark, live in Illinois and have five children and eight grandchildren. You can find Jill online at www.jillsavage.org.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
174 How to Break Free from Regrets that Hold You Back
11 Aug 2022
00:41:47
Episode Summary:
Have you ever wondered how to break free from regrets that hold you back? I talk with Rhonda Stoppe (a.k.a. the “No Regrets Woman”) about how God’s word gives us hope to break free from the regrets that often hold men and women back from living the abundant life Christ came to give. You won’t want to miss the personal anecdotes and Scripture she shares to help us in our pursuit to live a life without regret.
Quotables from the episode:
Regret keeps us stuck.
Regret leads to shame and blame, neither of which are productive.
Shaming drives us to sin more.
Knowing truth keeps us from being stuck in shame.
The providence of God is in the moments of our lives.
When we fail, Jesus meets us in the place of our failures.
When God forgives, He forgives to the utmost!
What you feed your flesh, it craves.
What you’ve done is not who you are—you are a new creation.
I am more knit together with those whom I study God’s word with than anyone else in my life.
God is bigger than your regret!!
Scripture References:
Philippians 3:13b-14 ESV “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
Psalm 139:23-24 ESV “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts. And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”
Rhonda Stoppe is the NO REGRETS WOMAN. With more than 30 years’ experience helping women build no regrets lives. “I could have listened to Rhonda talk all night, “ is what audiences say about Rhonda’s enthusiastic, humorous, transparent teaching, and zeal as an evangelist. She’s committed to fulfill the Titus 2:4 commission by mentoring, teaching and writing books that are inspiring, grounded in Scripture and easy to read––like you're visiting with a friend over coffee. Rhonda is the author of 6 books and appears on numerous radio programs including: Focus on the Family, Family Life Today and Dr. James Dobson’s FamilyTalk, & hosts The No Regrets Hour. She’s an evangelist and speaker at women’s events, College Women’s Chapel, Pastor’s Wives Conferences, MOPs and Homeschool Conventions. Sharing the gospel at her NoRegretsWoman Conference is her sweet spot. Rhonda is a regular contributor for Crosswalk and many other magazines.
Rhonda ministers alongside her husband Steve, who for 20 years has pastored First Baptist Church of Patterson, California. They live out their own Real Life Romance writing books and speaking at their No Regrets Marriage Conferences, but their favorite ministry is their family. They have four grown children and 10 grandchildren. To learn more about Rhonda’s speaking topics, watch her teaching and to book Rhonda for your next event visit: NoRegretsWoman.com.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Nancy Kay Grace and I talk about how to overcome low self-esteem with audacious grace that sustains us. Nancy shares where low self-esteem comes from and how we can overcome and combat it by taking our thoughts captive. By the grace of God, we can overcome.
Quotables from the episode:
In studying grace, I see that God provides salvation through grace but also grace for daily life.
Grace sustains us in all the seasons of life. We are then to be grace givers to share grace with the hurting world.
Part of overcoming low self-esteem is learning to rest in His refuge of his love and peace.
It’s a gift when we accept God’s gift of peace and realize no matter what, God is with us.
I determined to use my faltering tongue to speak for God.
Low self-esteem is often the result of comparison, the performance trap, perfectionism, and people pleasing.
God accepts me as I am, and I can become a new creation.
All grace starts with God. He makes himself known to us. He gave us the ultimate gift of grace in Jesus Christ.
Hope in God is a secure foundation in ever-changing life situations.
When I struggle with depression, I have to recall God’s promises of hope and what his word says about my worth.
To combat low self-esteem, we need to change our view of ourselves for God’s view of us.
Learn God’s word so that you can replace negative thinking with God’s truth. It’s not easy, but through grace, God will help us take our thoughts captive.
Scripture References:
2 Corinthians 9:8 (NKJV) “God is able to make all grace abound to you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things at all times, may have an abundance for every good work.”
Psalm 42:5,11 (NIV) “Why, my soul, are you so downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put you hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”
Psalm 139:14 (NIV) “I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
John 14:27 (NIV) “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Nancy Kay Grace enjoys sharing coffee and conversation. She is a Bible teacher, speaker, and award-winning author of The Grace Impact, a devotional about God’s grace in our lives. Nancy is married to her favorite pastor, and is enjoying the stage of life with two married children and six precious grandchildren. For relaxation, Nancy loves hugs from grandchildren, playing piano, and hiking. Nancy’s blog and GraceNotes newsletter signup are found at www.nancykaygrace.com.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson