Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast You Wouldn't Believe Me if I Told You

This one also had a weird flow to it. Think of what it might feel like to meet someone you really look up to. I've never been big on feeling like I had any particular 'heroes' or 'idols', but I do admire and acknowledge the work that the General Authorities of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints do. I know we're overdue for a recovery and psychology episode, and it's coming.

I haven't had a lot of feedback / questions / comments lately, so I'm just pushing out extra content in the meantime. I really get very excited to dive into whatever you guys are curious about, so please feel free to reach out to me even anonymously. (Wisdom App is easiest for anonymous route.)

P.S. I forgot to add this 'impressions' hybrid was inspired by the way I felt a funny feeling and followed it and wound up with the Gongs for a second time at the RootsTech event last week.

This one was such a mess in my eyes I felt tempted to boot it to the bonus section. I also felt tempted to just stop recording and give it a different go another time. But I promised you all uncut, unedited, unscripted, genuine content... and for better or for worse, that's what this one became. I started this podcast so I could try to help inspire others, but the full circle in that is also needing to practice sharing my story(s) so that I can learn how to better inspire others.

Hey guys, welcome to Season 2! I really did. manage to stick to shorter and sweeter, but I definitely did end up on quite a tangent. I really hope you guys agree with me that it seemed to be a pretty necessary and honest one. Give this a listen, don't forget to reach out to me with comments and feedback, and ask yourself if you believe me when it comes to me and paperclips. (;

Tender mercies aren't always easy to come by, or are they? Though they may be small, they can be mighty. Here's your first list of examples of me getting a kick out of even of the silliest examples and jokes when it comes to looking back on the play by play of this wild life I'm living.

As always, take care and thanks for listening. SERIOUSLY. Feel free to check out the Wisdom App or Facebook page if you're not sure of how to get in touch.

For those of you who didn't hear the draft one practice session, I'm guessing quite a bit changed between the two. I'll have to give that previous 'Talk Prep' bonus episode a listen. Here's the version that I ended up sharing at my stake conference! It's me doing my best to do some justice for some of my crazy temple stories. I have many and perhaps you'll hear some more of them in episode 5 or 6. (;

As always, thanks for listening! And please keep reaching out to me with more feedback! Text is fine if you have my number. If not there's the pubic access Facebook group or the wisdom app available. You can even ask me questions anonymously on there. (:

We're back and better than ever. Thank you for all the support along the way! I hope as I spin us in a new direction you guys like the new vibe even more. I christened us with a new theme song because we're turning a whole new leaf.

I want to hyperfocus us on a specific story or set of stories with every episode, telling them within a span of 10 or 20 minutes depending on how many pieces of the domino effect. You'll also probably hear a lot more about the iceberg effect this season.

I'm sure we've all had moments that felt like a breath of fresh air. Moments where felt something otherworldly even if it was small. Moments where there was some kind of purpose or at least something less stagnant. Something special. Something memorable. In the recovery community we often call them moments of grace or refer to them as moments of clarity. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) you'll often hear us kick around terms like 'tender mercies' and seeing through 'the eye of faith'. In Riid Doctrine (meaning Riid's credo), you'll probably listen to me get into what I call "Mind's Eye."... (Starting in Episode 4 (;)

Buckle up for another rollercoaster ride, and don't forget there's more than one way you can ask me questions or give me feedback anonymously if there's something my podcasts stir up in you.

In classic slogan logic I bid you adieu by saying it's time to let go and let God. This season will be jam packed with me trying to describe the indescribable. The moments of standing on the summits of mountains I didn't even realize I was climbing. The example of times that the only set of footprints left in the sand certainly weren't my own.

So this one is a little dark, pretty heavy, and at times flat out triggering to some I'm sure. I -DID NOT- include any explicit details of ANY of the abuse/neglect I endured various places. This gave you a basic overview of my life from age -1/0 to age 8. These are your formative years, crucial to many patterns that will playout through your adolescence, into adulthood and perhaps even through your entire life if you're unable to get the help you need to correct and deficits of this nature.

As a survivor of mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, sexual and eventually domestic abuse, I developed a lot of red flag tendencies as early as age four. I've worked tirelessly to keep striving towards the kind of person I want to be rather than the person I was quite unintentionally raised to be. All of the adults who surrounded me in my childhood were only humans too, humans who had endured their own struggles and traumas. I don't want to demonize or dehumanize them, and I don't want to agonize myself with explaining of the details at this juncture either. I did my best to give a grounded and fair perspective on several of the things that happened when I was younger and in no way shape or form went beyond scratching the surface of everything that occurred.

You're still invited and encouraged to reach out with questions, feedbacks or even stories of your own even on a session full of sensitive subject as this one. It makes it a lot harder for you to trample a nerve when I didn't dig in to expose the rawest nerves if that makes any sense. The more gruesome details were not included or even fully implied, although they were eluded to. Please don't pry, but also PLEASE do not be shy. I started this podcast hoping to help other people. Maybe you know someone who's been through certain things and you're seeking a better understanding of how to be supportive and THAT we will hopefully cover within the next two episodes.

Per usual, this went some places- but would you expect anything less of me? 613 days sober is a pretty good start, but I'm hoping this is still just the warm up stretch. I basically found my sobering up by almost by accident nearing two years ago. I had already been off of other substances for a few years, but we'l save the details of that for another time. When I moved out to Utah, I hadn't quite expected to feel so disconnected from the local recovery community, but I'm doing my best to bridge the gap one baby step at a time.

In this blab session you'll hear me touch on the three lies about the church that irk me the most. You'll also hear me vent just a smidge about how unwelcoming/off-putting being LDS can be in some circles. You'll also hear me to start to explain the traditions, get distracted trying to explain the steps and completely forget to circle back to explaining the traditions. In essence, traditions mostly help regulate how we interact with our fellow members and carry ourselves regarding our individual groups.

So for right now, given the fact that I have elected to severely limit my attendance at meetings, let's start by simply asking: Would You Believe Me if I Told You I'm Still Sober? And maybe at some point later we can chat about whether or not you'd believe me if I told you about my active addiction(s). Yes, plural. As always, thanks for listening and please reach out for anything and everything!

Welcome back to the wild Wild West, this one probably deserved more of a warning label, but it's still under so much revision it's like aiming to find a needle in a haystack in the middle of rainstorm. Good luck. I promise I kept it as light as possible in spite of the heavy topics I'm trying to tango with.

If you can't feel the disconnects in the delivery rhythm in this practice session compared to the last time I did a prep round like this, I can assure you they're there. It may not be a huge deal to be asked to speak at a stake conference period, but this opportunity is important to me. There's some nerves involved, but there's also just me being me and telling a tale in a round about way instead of being linear and concise. Thanks for putting up with me, guys. As always- feedbacks, comments, questions and concerns are welcome. Reach out. Also keep in mind, it's very possible I'm going to start another rewrite from the ground up tonight.

At the end of the day I know things will work out exactly how they were meant to, I'll say whatever needed to be said, but the process of searching for what that is is a learning process. I'm still on a huge learning curve since everything is still so new. Attending my third stake conference ever. Preparing a talk for my second time ever. So I' still working to cut myself some slack where it's due, but I'm also trying to not slack off. I was chosen for a reason, I don't want to make it to that podium and stand there all for nothing.

This is another round where I decided to keep it short, I eluded to the last bit of your missing timeline from the early episodes, and I threw a bunch of random other stuff at you per usual. I've had an interesting kickoff for 2023, but I'm still chalked full of an oddly faithful diligence. I call it odd, because my faith definitely shook in recent days. I still have plenty of hope, and per usual I was excited for the chance to tell you guys about some things. Thank you to everyone who's been listening, and a special thanks to anyone who doesn't feel comfortable reaching out to me with their feedback/stories. YOU are just as important in my following. If you want to do that Q&A thing, download the wisdom app. If not, there's PLENTY, (maybe even too many) ways to reach out. Much love. Happy New Year!

This probably not so pretty little number is a sleepy Riid ramble, which are always their own special deal. I can't thank the people who've been listening to all my nonsense enough. I hope that you take the time to do even one kind thing for yourself today. I also hope you start challenging others to do the same. I'm the brazen type, I'll say it point blank... But I don't expect us all to be like that! Find a way that works for you and get to it. IT MATTERS.

Okay, enough with the cheesy. Lately I've been spreading myself a smidge too thin, just a smidge. Just a smidge that seems to usually cost me physical rest, but gains me everything else under the sun in exchange. I'll have plenty of downtime in the next couple weeks to try to make more progress on a few things, including this podcast. Don't forget to reach out with questions, and THANK YOU for all of the feedback thus far. Faith, trust and spirit dust. Peace signs up.

I received my endowments this week and I was asked to give my very first sacrament meeting talk this weekend. They asked me to speak about "Being Faithful", and didn't specify anything more than that... So hopefully the direction I took it wasn't too roguish. I was so nervous I actually let two different people proof Riid it. Neither of them actually gave me any edit suggestions, love them to pieces, though. So here goes. I'm only going to run it once and you know the drill, no pausing, no editing... So if it sounds like absolute hot garbage, just know I did my best and help me desperately hope that Sunday I'll do better. I'm calling it talk prep one, because hopefully one day I'll have the honor of doing even more and sharing them with you on here.

In the second session of You Wouldn't Believe Me if I Told You, we backed off of explaining things about 'The Church' in general, and zeroed in on some specifics of my attempts to adjust to becoming and being a member. Towards the end I pointed out that we could back track God's hand in my life back further and further if we wanted to. Today, I'm only going to give you two sprinkles of "the further", one and a half lighter tales, one heavy. It could be triggering, more startling/confusing than anything, but I won't go into explicit details of any of it.

We're essentially ditching the outline project for a minute. We're going almost absolutely rogue in this session. This is one of those days where I'm writing my description before I'm beginning my recording, and I didn't even bother writing an outline this time. I want to try to tell you a little about priesthood keys, as promised... And I want to tell you about the times I've met leaders of the church (and/or their wives) face to face; not strictly in passing where I've seen them from a distant. Up close at varying degrees of personal.

Buckle up guys. I've been in the same room as many people in leadership positions within the church due to attendance at various events, but there's only a handful I've had the opportunity to gain an impression from. It's an honor I can't even put into proper words, but I'm going to try to do it some justice. As I share about these distinct experiences, I'm hoping I won't drift away on a tangent as I try to give you an overview of when I met the following people: President Matthew O. Richardson (and his abundantly warm wife, Sister Susan Richardson), who still currently oversees the vast mission territory over Minnesota and part of Wisconsin. Elder Jeremey R. Jaggi (and his beyond gracious wife, Sister Amy Jaggi), who is a current General Authority Seventy. Sister Wendy Nelson, a visible pillar of strength and beacon of light. (The wife of President Nelson, the current Prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.) Elder Gerrit W. Gong (and his good/brightly-spirited wife, Sister Susan Gong), a current member of the Twelve Apostles. Elder Ulisses Soares (and his openly motherly wife, Sister Rosana Soares), another current member of the Twelve Apostles. Lastly and most recently, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf (and his radiantly cheerful wife, Sister Harriet Uchtdorf), another current member of the Twelve Apostles.

P.S. If you hadn't noticed how hard I fan girl after the aforementioned women- let me flat out say it. I hope I carry myself with even have as much grace and dignity one day. They're all forces of nature to be reckoned with in their own rights. The perfect measures of yin to the yang of their eternal partners in every way.

P.S.S. For those of you who were either brave enough or unfortunate enough to listen to the entirety of the bonus session (failed attempted live recording): I'm genuinely sorry that was such a hot mess. The greater the potential deed, the greater the optimism you tend to face amidst the work. Never give up. Never let chasing perfection take away from what you could have offered otherwise.

Well, here you have it folks. It definitely, still could have technically went much worse... But I can assure you by my standards, this did indeed go awful. It is what it is, though. Bit of more than I could chew for the day in more ways than one. Thanks for putting up with me regardless. I hope the main points I was trying to relay amidst this chaos still came through.

Yet another mouthful, huh? For the second episode of You Wouldn't Believe Me if I Told You, I decided I might as well try to get you through the rest of the outline I wrote before starting Session 1. Turns out, I truly truly underestimated my ability to babble when writing those points, because spoiler alert: I didn't finish it this time either. In fact, I made it through far less points this time to boot. So take a listen, and let's find out: "Would You Believe Me if I Told You I'm Still A Member of the Church of Jesus-christ of Latter-day Saints?"

I'm not going to write you a long misleading, or foreboding description this time, because I already did the recording. Now you listen here, pal, (laughing, but serious); I didn't stick to the plan any way. Because the point is there is no plan but one. I hope to help others seek inspiration and maybe find some listening to me along the way. In this episode we dig a little more into what it was like to finally be baptized, and what it has felt like adjusting to being a member. It hasn't been easy, but my, oh my, has it been worth it.

If I made you smile even once, or if I tugged a heart string even twice, we can call this another mission accomplished. Thanks for listening!

What a mouthful, huh? For the opening episode of You Wouldn't Believe Me if I Told You I figured we might as well go straight for the gold. There's been a few really big, and totally justified questions among the people who've known me the longest that are long overdue for a well-deserved answer. A lot, and I do mean a lot, a lot has changed in my life since August of 2021. So let's find out: "Would You Believe Me if I Told You I'm A Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?"

I was 'Minnesota Born and Raised'. We might rewind to when I took my first breaths at St. Joseph's Children's Hospital in Saint Paul, MN in July of 1996. We might fast forward to when I was worried I might be taking my last breaths at Methodist Hospital in Saint Louis Park, MN in August of 2021. Your guess might just be better than mine since I write my episode overview descriptions before I write the outlines and I don't stick to my outlines once I start recording anyway.

Spoiler alert, I survived and nothing obvious changed until a few weeks later. I was still trekking along being vaguely spiritual, and following the alternative path of "God as I understand Him" until it felt like I had practically blinked and everything had changed. I soon found myself feeling increasingly desperate to dive deeper and deeper into one of the most controversial Christian denominations of the current era, and I wouldn't trade a single ounce of all of the chaos that ensued after the beginning of my conversion for anything else this world has to offer. (Needlessly controversial, might I add.)

Buckle up, kids. It was a bumpy ride and I want to walk you through some of my hindsight reflections. Whether I'm launching a 0-60 move or steadily moving at 100 mph, I'm beyond blessed to feel a healthy sense of detachment. I can stay grounded whether external circumstances are exciting for better or for worse, I don't have to react to it. I was taught to think of it like a heart monitor. Regardless of where the rhythm is at, I'm the centerline, the metric bar. I'm my own sounding board. If I can help inspire even one person feel more empowered regarding who they do or don't want to be, my mission has been accomplished. Thanks for listening!