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What happens when you spend decades taking care of everyone else — your kids, your partner, your career, your home — and suddenly realize you’re not even on your own list?
This week, we sit down with Avril Millar, author of FERAL: A Grown Woman’s Guide to a Free and Ferocious Life, for a funny, brutally honest and incredibly empowering conversation about midlife reinvention, starting over and finally learning to put yourself first.
And Avril knows a thing or two about reinvention.
She’s been a civil engineer, a teacher, a wealth manager, an entrepreneur, a CEO and an advisor. She lost everything in her 40s and started rebuilding her life from scratch at 50. Now, at 74, she’s living proof that there is no expiration date on becoming the woman you actually want to be.
As Avril tells us, the 74-year-old woman she is today is not the 45-year-old woman who raised her children.
And that’s the whole point.
We talk about the “cage” so many women find themselves living in — and the surprising truth that sometimes we build that cage out of love. We take care of our children. We fix everyone’s problems. We create the beautiful home. We support our partners. We keep everything running.
And somewhere along the way, we disappear.
In this episode, we get into:
- Why midlife can be the beginning of your reinvention, not the end
- Starting over after divorce, grief, financial loss and major life changes
- Why rebuilding your life is rarely the beautiful “before and after” story we see online
- How women become conditioned to take care of everyone except themselves
- Why love, caregiving and people-pleasing can become part of our “cage”
- How to start putting yourself back on your own list
- Why women need boundaries — even with the people we love most
- The difference between helping our kids and constantly rescuing them
- Why letting our children experience “controlled failure” can actually be good parenting
- Mom guilt, parenting mistakes and giving ourselves grace
- Why we can be happy with our lives and STILL want more for ourselves
- The Enneagram, self-awareness and understanding why we behave the way we do
- Why it is NEVER too late to change your life
Avril leaves us with one of the most powerful reminders we’ve heard:
“There is nothing you can do that will put yourself first — or at least higher on the list — that you will ever live to regret.”
If you’ve hit midlife and found yourself wondering Who am I now? What do I want? Is this really how I want to spend the rest of my life? — this conversation is for you.
You are not too old.
You are not finished.
And you do not need permission to start putting yourself back on the list.
CONNECT WITH AVRIL MILLAR
🌐 Website: https://www.avrilmillar.com/
📖 FERAL: A Grown Woman’s Guide to a Free and Ferocious Life: https://www.avrilmillar.com/feral
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/avrilmillar/
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/avrilmillar/
▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AvrilMillarFERAL
THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY PLAINLY CARE
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WTF JUST HAPPENED? | MIDLIFE PODCAST FOR WOMEN 40+
Real conversations about midlife, friendship, menopause, grief, divorce, reinvention — and all the WTF moments nobody prepared us for.
💗 Come hang out with us on Instagram: @wtf.lifeismessy
That’s where we share episode clips, behind-the-scenes chaos, midlife WTF moments, and keep the conversation going. Follow us, say hi, and tell us what you want us to talk about next.
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⚠️ Disclaimer
This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views shared are based on personal experience and do not constitute medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your individual situation. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or this podcast. Any products mentioned are not sponsored unless explicitly stated.
