Today’s episode features my good friend Aaron Manes, who is a spiritual director and Enneagram practitioner in the Dallas area. I’m excited to share this conversation about the somatic Enneagram: what it is, how it leads to a more embodied experience of the Enneagram, and a little about the different energies of the head, heart, and gut centers of intelligence. This is packed full of good information on a really helpful new modality.

More about Aaron… Aaron Manes (he/him) is a trained spiritual director, a certified Somatic Enneagram faculty member with Marion Gilbert and an inner work healing practitioner. He is the co-host of The Somatic Enneagram Podcast. He creates and holds space as a companion, guide and facilitator for people willing to do the hard and brave work of finding their selves in the world. Aaron’s current projects also include bringing to life “Creativa” which is community-making expression for public spiritual work.

I’m delighted to share this interview with certified leadership coach, consultant, and author Tracey Gee! You’ll want to hear this insightful conversation about her book, The Magic of Knowing What You Want: A Practical Guide to Unearthing the Wisdom of Your Desires.

One of the questions I ask people in spiritual direction that often seems to catch them off guard is, “What do you want?” Depending on our social location and culture, many of us have been taught that our desires are irrelevant, untrustworthy, selfish, wrong, or even evil. However, to be human is to have desires, and often surface-level desires point to deeper needs that are valid and important. Getting in touch with our desires allows us room to access and name our needs, which then gives us more agency in determining how we want those needs to be met in ways that align with our values and lived reality instead of letting them subconsciously run the show.

Naming our desires can be difficult when we have been socialized not to prioritize knowing and naming what we want. Tracey Gee’s book, The Magic of Knowing What You Want, provides a practical guide for how to begin.

More about Tracey… Tracey Gee is a certified leadership coach and consultant dedicated to guiding individuals toward transformative self-awareness and meaningful personal and professional growth. As an author, Tracey draws insight from her extensive experience across workshops, speaking engagements, and personalized coaching sessions. She is also a certified facilitator in four frameworks—Gallup CliftonStrengths, Working Genius, Enneagram, and Cultural Intelligence. Her diverse clientele includes UC Berkeley, Firm Foundation, AltaMed, Nomi Network, and the Miami Heat. Tracey is originally from the Bay Area of California and now lives in Los Angeles with her husband, children, and dog, Kona. She loves coffee shops and every dog she's ever met. You can find her online at: https://traceygee.me

I’m excited to share episode 8 of Words From Silence! Today’s episode is with Natalie Grace Drew, who joined me for a conversation about nonviolence. Natalie is passionate about this topic as it is deeply personal to her. She served in the infantry before she began the healing process of practicing nonviolence toward others and eventually, toward herself. Nonviolence helped pave the way for her to transition and begin to love her authentic self.

Natalie is a wife and mother to two amazing teens in Grand Rapids, MI. The most important thing to know about Natalie is the centrality of her Christian faith in her life. When she's not at church or watching Texas Rangers baseball or Doctor Who, she works as the Director of Human Resources for a public sector entity in west Michigan. She also serves on the Board of Directors for RAWtools, an organization dedicated to nonviolence, and on the OutPro Council with the Grand Rapids Chamber of Commerce. She began her career in HR following six years as an infantryman in the U.S. Army, but her true passion can be found in advocating for nonviolence. You can find Natalie on X @natgrace79

I also want to add that a book that was helpful to me is Walter Wink’s Jesus and Nonviolence: A Third Way, for anyone who is interested in reading more on this topic.

As always, I’d love to hear from you! What does nonviolence toward yourself mean to you? How might that affect your peacemaking efforts with others and in the world at large?

I’m grateful to introduce my friend Malinda Fugate to you in this author interview for episode 7 of Words From Silence! We got to talk about her new book, Stories from the Sidelines, in which she shares imaginative retellings of the stories of lesser-known people from the Bible and explores how these sidelines stories can speak to us today.

A little more about Malinda… When she isn’t writing, Malinda serves full time as the Children’s Education Director at a church in Southern California. She earned a communications degree with a theatre emphasis and has worked behind the scenes for Christian radio stations in Los Angeles. 

Her writing includes the books Stories from the Sidelines and The Other Three Sixteens, published by Ambassador International, and the self-published activity-filled devotional, Bible Time for Active Kids. Additionally, she has been a commercial copywriter and written various faith-based stage plays. She also co-produced "A Single Girls Guide To", a lifestyle blog and web series. 

Malinda lives by the beach with her pup, Yoshi, where she often creates art, reads, or explores the many adventures to be found in her neighborhood and beyond. You can find Malinda online here or on Substack here.

As always, we would love for you to listen and let us know what thoughts this conversation sparked for you!

Whether you find yourself in a period of being in the spotlight or in the shadows of the sidelines, may you experience a felt sense of your unconditional belovedness, worth, and belonging.

Be well, friends.

Episode 6 of Words From Silence is live! In today’s episode, Andrea Holme shares part of her sacred story of healing after divorce. We discuss ideas for how individuals and faith communities can love and support divorced folks and single parents well.

Andrea is the mom of two young adults who keep her cool-adjacent. Avidly indoorsy, in her off hours she can be found crafting with words or yarn. She believes that "real" life happens in the middle of our waiting, and she writes to remind herself and her friends and readers that every day contains beauty and hope is God's most gracious gift. If hope feels too heavy, she'll happily hold it for you until you're ready to take a turn.

You can find Andrea on Substack here and on Instagram here.

If you have thoughts you’d like to share about today’s episode, including stories of how others have loved and supported you amidst divorce and/or single parenting, we’d love to hear from you!

Thank you for listening as we strive to co-create a more just, joyous, and compassionate world.

May you have an increased awareness of the Holy in yourself and in the people you meet.

Be well, friends.

I’m excited to share episode 5 of Words From Silence with you! I had the privilege of talking with spiritual director Adam Shields about discernment: what it is, what it’s not, and how our ability to discern well can be impacted by things like cultural bias and trauma. Adam has spent about the past year reading and studying this topic, so I’m grateful for the opportunity to benefit from his extensive, ongoing study as well as his lived experience.

Some of the books referenced in our conversation include:

* It Seemed Good to the Holy Spirit and to Us: Acts, Discernment, and the Mission of God by Mark Love

* The Way of Discernment: Spiritual Practices for Decision Making by Elizabeth Liebert

* Trauma in the Pews: The Impact on Faith and Spiritual Practices by Janyne McConnaughey

Adam asked me to share the document he has created with notes on what he has learned about discernment thus far. He continues updating it as he continues his study. You can find it here.

You can follow Adam’s book reviews here.

To contact Adam with spiritual direction inquiries, click here.

You can listen to today’s episode on Substack, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts. We would love to hear from you!

May you experience the sense of peace that accompanies the assurance of your unconditional belovedness.

Be well, friends.

Today's guest is author and spiritual companion Lisa Colón DeLay. Lisa is a Puerto Rican-born author, broadcaster, teacher, and spiritual companion who centers her projects on spiritual formation. She is the host of the weekly Spark My Muse podcast, which began in 2014. She is the author of The Wild Land Within: Cultivating Wholeness through Spiritual Practice, as well as an upcoming book on the Christian spirituality, wisdom, and the lives of the Desert Fathers and Mothers in the Desert Era (roughly 300-600 CE). You can find Lisa's work at https://lisadelay.com/blog/

This week’s podcast episode is an Introduction to Contemplative Practices: Grounding in Times of Stress with my friend Andrew Bowles. Andrew and I met through an Enneagram cohort, and he is a soon-to-be certified Enneagram teacher as well as a hospital chaplain.

This episode provides an introduction to contemplative practices— what they are, why we do them, and how we can get started. We discuss how contemplative practices help us to remain present to ourselves and others as well as how they can help ground us during times of stress. We explore this topic for folks in general and then talk about what it looks like for Andrew as an Enneagram 9 and for me as an Enneagram 6.

Some of the specific practices we discuss include:

* centering prayer

* walking the labyrinth

* visio divina

* Welcoming prayer

You can read more about each practice by clicking on the links above. Folks who are interested in scheduling a free Enneagram typing interview with Andrew can do so at the link here.

The authors Andrew recommended are Morgan Harper Nichols (poetry), Gerald May (Dark Night of the Soul), and Barbara Brown Taylor.

Leave a comment and let us know your thoughts. What practices have you been drawn to in the past or are you interested in exploring?

Today's guest is my dear friend Kim Verriere. Kim is a trained spiritual director and is the founder of Greater Love Collective. In this episode, we talked about the purpose of rituals, the journey of transformation, 4 female archetypes, and the sacred feminine. We also talked about my unusual 40th birthday ceremony that Kim facilitated.

You can find Kim on Instagram @kimvspiritualdirector , Facebook at Kim Verriere, Spiritual Director, or connect via email: kim@greaterlovecollective.org

The books Kim mentioned are:

Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Hagitude: Reimagining the Second Half of Life by Sharon Blackie

Making Sense of Menopause by Susan Willson

If Women Rose Rooted: The Power of the Celtic Woman by Sharon Black

Welcome to Words From Silence, a contemplative podcast with Lindsay O'Connor. Today's episode is an introduction to the podcast, Lindsay, and the idea of contemplative activism. To share comments, questions, or ideas for podcast topics or guests, head over to Lindsay's Substack and send a message!

I’m grateful for this opportunity to share with you the sacred story of my dear friend, spiritual director Marian Schulze! Marian and I graduated together from the same spiritual direction program and became fast friends about three years ago, when the program began. We are both Enneagram 6s, and I loved talking with Marian about the interaction of our Enneagram number with our spiritual growth.

In today’s conversation, Marian shares about her journey of healing from depression that had led to a mental health crisis. We discuss tending mental health and what is meant by ongoing transformation. This is a tender, difficult but hopeful and needed conversation. As a content warning, we will be discussion depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation, so please take care of yourself however you need.

More about Marian: Marian is a trained Spiritual Director in the Dallas area. She received her Certificate of Spiritual Direction from Perkins School of Theology. All of life is a conversation with the Divine, and she is passionate about helping others listen and discern the spiritual wisdom in everyday moments.

She is also trained in the Internal Family Systems model. IFS is a transformative tool that conceives of every human being as a system of inner parts led by a core Self. The Self represents the true essence in each of us that is calm, compassionate, confident, and capable of understanding and healing the different parts of our personality. 

Marian is the founder of Frisco Fastpacs, a non-profit that provides weekend meals to 1,000 children in her local community who are at risk of going hungry when school is not in session. 

Marian and her husband, Brad, have 4 adult children and enjoy spending as much time with them as they will allow. In her free time, you’re likely to find her on a walking trail, with her nose in a book, or trying a new recipe she found on Pinterest.

To learn more about Marian or inquire about spiritual direction, connect with her at marianschulze.com.

For this episode, I had the privilege of talking with poet, speaker, and public theologian Drew Jackson about poetry, spiritual practices, and contemplative activism. If you’ve followed my Instagram profile any length of time or have met with me in spiritual direction, you have probably heard me reference Drew as my favorite poet. Stick around to the end of the episode, and you’ll get to hear him read one of my favorite poems that I love to read as a blessing in spiritual direction.

Drew Jackson is the author of God Speaks Through Wombs: Poems on God’s Unexpected Coming, which was a finalist for the Christian Book Award, and Touch the Earth: Poems on The Way. His work has appeared in Oneing from the Center for Action and Contemplation, The Isolation Journals with Suleika Jaouad, Christianity Today, Made for Pax, The Journal from the Centre for Public Christianity, Fathom Magazine, and other publications. Drew was a contributing artist on Jon Batiste’s Grammy-nominated album World Music Radio, and also appeared in the award-winning documentary American Symphony on Netflix. Drew is also a co-host of the Everything Belongs podcast from the Center for Action and Contemplation.

Drew received his B.A. in Political Science from the Univ. of Chicago and his M.A. in Theology from Fuller Theological Seminary. He currently works as the Managing Director of Mission Integration for the Center for Action and Contemplation, and lives in Brooklyn, NY with his wife and daughters.

I would love to hear from you! What resonated with you from this conversation?

I’m excited to share this rich conversation I was honored to have with Pastor Trey Ferguson, who has been one of my favorite social media follows for a few years now. Pastor Trey has a great depth of wisdom, insight, humor, and inspiration to share with us as we explore faith, doubt, and wholeness.

In this episode, he will explain what he means by the term, “Theologizin’ Bigger,” which is the title of his amazing book. We’ll be talking about what it means to have an embodied and incarnational theology, the importance of considering power dynamics as we interpret scripture, and how whiteness impacts deconstruction spaces. We will also discuss shame and how and when it can actually be a part of a healthy community.

Trey Ferguson is a minister, writer, and speaker, with an MDiv from the Samuel DeWitt Proctor School of Theology at Virginia Union University. He is the author of Theologizin' Bigger: Homilies on Living Freely and Loving Wholly. His thoughts on faith in an evolving world can be found on the Three Black Men: Theology, Culture, and the World around Us and New Living Treyslation podcasts, in The Son Do Move newsletter, and @pastortrey05 on social media. He lives in South Florida with his wife and three children. Learn more at pastortrey05.com.

Take a listen and let us know what resonated!

Have you wondered what exactly spiritual direction is? This one’s for you! This week’s episode features spiritual director Emily Turner Watson, a beautiful soul who is sharing a bit about her journey with spiritual direction. We talked about how she draws on a diversity of experiences in various faith communities, both in her own life and in her heritage, in her work of spiritual direction. We also discussed the Enneagram and how Emily’s unique gifts (as someone who leads with type 4) help and inform her work as a spiritual director. I loved hearing Emily’s thoughts and wisdom on the role of slowing down and tuning into the body and to beauty as acts of resistance.

More about Emily… Emily Turner Watson is a writer and spiritual director living in Dallas, Texas. She spent the first part of her professional journey working in communications and fundraising in both leadership and support roles at non-profits in Dallas and Washington, D.C. In 2018, Emily received her Certification in Spiritual Direction from Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University and in March 2020, felt called to focus full-time on writing and spiritual direction services.

As a deep listener, Emily loves creating space for participants in spiritual direction as together they notice, ponder, question and celebrate the Holy. She guides individuals to listen and make sense of their divine wiring and identity in God taking great joy in gently encouraging directees to explore areas of their life where they feel stuck and/or disconnected from themselves, the Holy and the world around them.

She's also the host for "Tending Spaces to Bear Spiritual Fruit," a podcast produced by Retreat House Spirituality Center. In times of margin, Emily enjoys spending time with her husband Michael, family, cooking, reading, traveling and getting outside in nature.

To learn more, visit her website www.emilylaneturner.com.

It was an absolute honor to have the opportunity to talk with author and LPC Audi Kolber. I have admired and appreciated Aundi since I first encountered her work in 2019, and she has written several informative, practical, and paradigm-shifting books since then. In this episode, we talk about her new book, Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days, and how it builds on her previous work. We also discuss why and how to give compassionate attention to self and others, as well as what all of this has to do with the generous table of healing that God offers each of us.

Aundi Kolber is a licensed professional counselor (MA, LPC) and the best selling author of the critically acclaimed books Try Softer™️, Strong like Water, and her newest offering, Take What You Need. She has received additional training in her specialization of trauma- and body-centered therapies and is passionate about the integration of faith and psychology. Aundi has appeared on Good Morning America, regularly speaks at national events, and is a frequent podcast guest. As a survivor of trauma, Aundi brings hard-won knowledge about the work of change, the power of redemption, and the beauty of experiencing God with us in our pain. You can find her work here.

We’d love to know what resonated with you! Leave a comment:

I loved having the privilege of talking with Jenai Auman about her book, “Othered: Finding Belonging with the God Who Pursues the Hurt, Harmed, & Marginalized.” In this episode, you’ll hear insights from Jenai’s experience of healing from religious trauma. We talked about contemplative activism, invitations during times in the wilderness, and the role of contemplative practices in healing.

Jenai Auman is a Filipina American writer, artist, and author of OTHERED. She draws from her years in church leadership as well as her trauma-informed training to write on healing and holistic spiritual formation. She received her bachelor's degree in behavioral health science and is currently pursuing a master's in spiritual formation at Northeastern Seminary. Jenai lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband and sons.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and questions! What resonated with you from this conversation?

May you find protected spaces for the work of healing when you need it. As you heal, may you experience a felt sense of God’s presence, love, and compassion, and may you become a compassionate presence for others.

Be well, friends.

I’m happy to share this delightful, thoughtful conversation with author Marla Taviano! I first found Marla around 2018 through her White Girl Learning bookstagram account, where she shares recommendations for books by BIPOC authors. I have enjoyed getting to know her and her writing since then. This episode is a bit longer than usual because we covered so many topics—Marla’s deconstruction journey and how it relates to justice/antiracism; creativity, play, and tips from Marla’s expertise on writing, publishing, and poetry.

Marla Taviano is into books, love, justice, globes, anti-racism, blue, gray, rainbows, and poems. She reads and writes for a living, wears her heart on her t-shirts, and is on a journey to live wholefarted (not a typo). She's the author of unbelieve, jaded, and whole, and lives in South Carolina with her kids and her cats. Find out more at marlataviano.com.

We hope you’ll take a listen and let us know what you think! How have justice, creativity, and play related to your deconstruction journey? What makes you come alive?

May you have the felt safety you need to reconnect with your authentic self through play and creativity. May you find spaces and people who will receive your expressions of your authentic self with love and joy.

Wishing you peace.

Be well, friends

Today’s episode is a short one discussing nine Enneagram-inspired invitations to rest, along with a short practice to help you choose and reflect on one that resonates. I’m including a free printable PDF bookmark (see below). Here is a link to the 7 types of rest from Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith that has been helpful for myself and for directees. Below are the nine invitations to rest. Below the nine invitations and the free printable link is a practice to help you select one and reflect on it, in case you’d like to see the text in addition to or instead of listening to it on the podcast.

Nine Invitations to Rest

The Enneagram and Respite: Nine Invitations to Rest

One - Rest and hear the truer voice call you “good.”

Two - Rest and see how helping yourself helps those you love.

Three - Rest and know your worth apart from accomplishing and achieving.

Four - Rest and feel how deeply known and cherished you are.

Five - Rest and realize only open hands can receive.

Six - Rest and listen for the deep inner knowing that was drowned out in all the noise.

Seven - Rest and find the abundance in this moment.

Eight - Rest and ponder the value of your holy limitations.

Nine - Rest and know Love is ever-present to your presence.

Free printable bookmark

Click HERE for a free printable PDF bookmark that has the nine invitations to rest listed on it. I printed mine and covered it with a laminating pouch to make it more durable. It should print the correct dimensions if you make sure to select “scale” and “100%” when you print it.

Reflection

* Read through the nine invitations to rest several times. The first time, you might want to read quickly to scan through them. The second time, you can attend more fully to the details of what they’re saying. The third time, you can slow down and notice one that resonates the most. You may be surprised by which one wants your attention!

* Find a comfortable place to sit with your feet on the floor. Close your eyes or cast them down and take a few deep breaths, inhaling for four counts and exhaling for six.

* Think about the invitation to rest that caught your attention the most. Notice, when you think about the invitation, what comes up in your body. Take a few more breaths while you focus attention on the part of your body that seems to react to this invitation to rest.

* Notice any resistance that comes up. Ask the resistance what it wants to tell you, and then imagine holding the resistance with compassion and curiosity.

* Take a few more deep breaths. Consider this question: What would you like to do to honor this invitation to rest that you have been drawn to?

* Consider if and how you would like to respond. You might want to write something down, talk it over with someone you trust, or find another creative method for responding that feels authentic to you.

* Offer gratitude for this time you’ve spent honoring your human need for rest. This need connects you to all other humans.

Blessing

May you find time and space to honor your body’s wisdom and to engage in regular rhythms of the different types of rest that feed your mind, heart, body, soul, and spirit.

Be well, friends. You are so loved.