originally published Nov 2, 2021

BATMAN BEGONE RETURNS for a spine-tingling, hair-raising Halloween Spooktacular edition all about BATMAN RETURNS, which is technically a Christmas movie but don't worry about that, just work with me here, okay? To make things even more bone-chilling, we summon our dear departed friend Valerie from beyond the grave, calling upon her ghostly form to help us digest this big old Halloween treat of a spooky Christmas-themed Batman movie. Yes, you heard right, Valerie has passed on and is a ghost, so that's why she sounds like that. That's how ghosts sound and there's nothing that could be done about it, but luckily it's on theme. You won't hear us make any mention of the fact that Valerie is a ghost or that she sounds weird though because it's rude to talk about that stuff in front of ghosts. Just enjoy the show, okay? HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

originally published Mar 26, 2021

BATMAN BEGONE is BACK for an epic crossover event with Vera Drew's HOT TOPICS podcast! Trevor and Vera gush about ZACK SNYDER'S JUSTICE LEAGUE for two and a half hours in the ONLY Snyder Cut podcast you need to hear!

here it is, as promised. i'm sorry and/or you're welcome.

What's this? Can it be? A new episode of We Need to Talk About Kevin? In which we share our long-awaited takes on that He-Man cartoon that everyone stopped caring about several weeks ago? Featuring who else but our favorite bona fide children's entertainment aficionado Kurt Schiller??

Yes, that's right, the wait is finally over. The official, definitive WNTTAK review of a cartoon that some people were mad about for a day or two and then completely forgot nearly two months ago, is here at last! And it's a good episode, because Kurt is on it!

Should I link to all of Kurt's stuff? You guys know Kurt, Blood Knife. Parents Just Don't Understand. Loving husband and father and an all-around superb guy! It's Kurt!!

Musician/writer Ryan Torgeson joins us to discuss a comic "co-written" by Kevin, which apparently means that Kevin pretty much didn't write it at all. It's very obvious that he had almost nothing to do with this one, and we all thought it was okay. Anyway, check out Ryan's stuff!

His twitter: https://twitter.com/molecularlioneI

His article for Blood Knife: https://bloodknife.com/cosmic-sexuality-stuart-gordon/

And his band, Paintwork: https://paintworkmusic.bandcamp.com/album/angles-planes

[CW: sexual assault]

Jesus Christ. I don't even know where to begin with this one. This comic is very possibly the worst thing that Kevin Smith has ever done. A deeply sexist, cynical, ugly piece of exploitation. Kevin had an opportunity to make a Spider-Man comic, and instead of aiming for a fun and breezy little adventure, he had to go and make it all about rape. Just awful. What a nasty little man. We hate his fucking guts.

The name of the guy that Trevor couldn't remember is Bob Hawk.

Niel's links:

https://twitter.com/fuckinalpamare

https://spalltalk.blogspot.com

#KevAnon

We recorded this like a week ago and I already barely remember what the comic was about. I know there were multiple cunnilingus scenes but that's about it. I'm pretty sure we all agreed that it wasn't as bad as the other Kevin comics we've read but still pretty bad. Trevor's old pal PJ joins us on this one to lend share of his vast Green Arrow expertise.

PJ is on Twitter at https://twitter.com/proctorjsemhaus. He says he doesn't want followers, but you can reach him there if you need to contact him for some reason.

It's Comic Book Month on We Need to Talk About Kevin! We've assigned ourselves the grim task of reading all of Kevin Smith's nauseatingly bad runs on superhero comics. To kick things off, we're discussing Kevin's first embarrassing foray into the comics medium with our friend, returning guest Chris Woodward! It's called DAREDEVIL: GUARDIAN DEVIL and I'm not even going to try to describe in pithy terms how shitty it is. I'm getting mad all over again just thinking about it now. It sucks so much!

Chris is the co-host of the children's media podcast Parents Just Don't Understand, which you can find at https://soundcloud.com/parentspodcast/ or on your podcast-listening app! He's written fine articles for Blood Knife such as this one: https://bloodknife.com/saint-maud-review/ and you can follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/cww_0

I forget how to write these episode descriptions. Look, Jesse Farrar aka Bronze Hammer, the author of that classic tweet about the wriggling jam, is on our podcast, to talk about a stupid Die Hard movie that Kevin is in! And it's a pretty good episode I think! I'm very tired.

Happy Valerientines Day! Just in time for the holiday, Valerie is joining our polycule to help us deliver a double dose of romance for all the lovers out there. On part one of this deluxe double episode, we have an intimate chat about the charming Jason Mewes/Paris Hilton romcom BOTTOMS UP. And on part two, now available exclusively on Patreon, we get up close and personal with the titillating details of Kevin Smith's storybook marriage. Sign up now at [edit: patreon.com/oddpodd] for double the steamy Valerientines content.

See Valerie's definitive rankings of the films of Robert Zemeckis at https://letterboxd.com/stealingvalerie/list/z-mode/ and follow https://twitter.com/myrnaacula for updates on her upcoming sketch show!

As BENUARY draws to a close, we take on the seminal Kevin-adjacent horror classic PHANTOMS, with a little help from genre fiction experts Karlo and Pete from Podside Picnic! Is Affleck truly "the bomb" in Phantoms, or is the only "bomb" here this damn movie (in the sense that it performed very poorly with critics and audiences alike!)?!

Here's all those links we promised you:

https://patreon.com/wnttak [edit: patreon.com/oddpodd]

https://teespring.com/stores/wnttak-trash-merch

https://patreon.com/PodsidePicnic

https://alineofink.com

https://twitter.com/kjy1066

https://twitter.com/PodsidePete

https://twitter.com/podsidep

https://twitter.com/trevorcumbo

https://twitter.com/wnttakpod [edit: twitter.com/the_odd_podd]

https://google.com

https://hbomax.com

Oh, and Trevor has a new article out on Blood Knife, so check that out too: https://bloodknife.com/in-defense-of-watto

originally published Dec 15, 2020

The final chapter of our six-part miniseries BATMAN BEGONE, setting the record straight on the one and only definitive critique of the Dark Knight Trilogy. As a tribute to Christopher Nolan, this episode starts to fall apart about halfway through and devolves into a complete mess!

Theme song blah blah intellectual dark wave etc

Fellow Affleck appreciator Ev from Dumb Bitch Media is back for BENUARY! With Ev's help, we compare Young Ben to Current Ben, debate the merits of Smart Guys vs. Dumb Guys, and discuss the finer points of Bostonian culture. And yes, unfortunately, we also talk about Kevin.

Links for more great Ev content:

https://soundcloud.com/user-519142174

https://www.patreon.com/dumbbitchmedia

https://twitter.com/milfnokids

https://twitter.com/dumbbitchmedia

Welcome to the season premiere of We Need to Talk About Kevin! It's a new year, which means it's also a new month, and that's a month that we call BENUARY, a special monthlong celebration of the great Ben Affleck. On our first free BENUARY episode, we've brought in our friend Evan MacDonald from the great movie podcast Kino Lefter to talk about Ben's starring role in DAREDEVIL, which also features a very forgettable cameo from Kevin Smith!

To hear more in-depth discussion of Ben Affleck's acting career all BENUARY long, subscribe to our premium feed at [edit: BENUARY is now available at patreon.com/oddpodd]

Check out our new merch store at https://teespring.com/stores/wnttak-trash-merch

And don't forget to listen to Kino Lefter and support them at https://www.patreon.com/kinolefter

Bonus episode: Originally a Patreon exclusive released on December 13, 2020, now unlocked for the first time!

Well here you go, I did it. I listened to SModcast and it was really boring and shitty like I expected. Not sure if anyone will actually want to hear this, but here's the proof in case you don't believe me. I'm a man of my word! Happy holidays.

-trev

Merry Christmas, assholes! We went and did a big old podcast crossover with the hosts of Parents Just Don't Understand, returning guest Kurt Schiller and newcomer Chris Woodward! That's right, there's five of us on this damn thing, and we all have different opinions about the stupid ass Grinch cartoon, which we argue about a lot! We do this because we love you! Also Kevin Smith's friend helped direct the Grinch movie or whatever, so that's why we're talking about it on here, okay?

Go listen to Chris and Kurt's podcast Parents Just Don't Understand where you can soon hear all of us talking about another children's cartoon (one that's actually good)* and don't forget to read http://bloodknife.com the finest online pop culture magazine in existence!

*UPDATE: Over a year and a half later, the PJDU episode we recorded concurrently with this one still hasn't been released, but it should be coming any day now. Stay tuned!

Valerie is back, which means we all had to watch Kevin talk about his dick on stage for four hours, and you get to hear all about it! I'm screaming on the inside.

Surprise! It's a bonus bite-sized episode of our Patreon-exclusive miniseries BATMAN BEGONE! On this special sneak peak, Rose tells us all about the evolution of Baneposting, her experiences posting on 4chan, and why THE DARK KNIGHT RISES is quite possibly the true founding document of the alt-right.

Full episodes of BATMAN BEGONE can now be found exclusively at https://patreon.com/oddpodd

They say if you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. But can you teach a woman... to love? On this very romantic episode, we've reeled in special guest Ev from the podcast Dumb Bitch Media, and we're sinking our hooks into the fishing-oriented romcom CATCH & RELEASE, co-starring our old pal Kevin Smith! So grab your rod and your tacklebox and let's set sail!

And you can support Dumb Bitch Media at https://www.patreon.com/dumbbitchmedia and follow them at https://twitter.com/dumbbitchmedia

In order to gain a complete understanding of Mr. Smith's failings as a filmmaker, we occasionally need to venture outside of his oeuvre and analyze the work of a true cinematic genius. I'm speaking of course of the great Canadian auteur, Tom Green. In Green's sublime debut FREDDY GOT FINGERED, he displays a supreme mastery of the raunchy comedy genre that places the flaws of our namesake in sharp relief. A truly original voice with a bold creative vision and unparalleled performance skills. We may have found our modern-day Chaplin.

It's "Rose Week" on We Need to Talk About Kevin, and we're mixing it up with a special Rose-hosted episode inspired by some recent bad tweets by our esteemed colleague, the Movie Bob. He posted some very stupid takes about the Amazon Prime Original Series THE BOYS and we are here to offer the correct ones. Also: we talk about some other stuff too!

originally published Dec 1, 2020

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear! Just when you thought there couldn't possibly be a more terrifyingly twisted villain than the dreaded Joker, the masked madman known as Bane has arrived in Gotham to mesmerize us all with his confusing ideological gibberish. This guy is so damn nuts he makes the Joker look like freaking Scarecrow!

Why does every single cop in Gotham go underground at the same time? Why does Talia al Ghul wait so long to blow up the city? Who the hell is Bane anyway and what exactly is his whole deal?! You will NOT find the answers to any of these burning questions here or anywhere else. But at least we tried!

Our badass BATMAN BEGONE theme song is performed by INTELLECTUAL DARK WAVE, the #1 commie synthpop artist in the nation. You can find him on:

Bandcamp- https://intellectualdarkwave.bandcamp.com

Soundcloud- https://soundcloud.com/intellectualdarkwave

YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/intellectualdarkwave

Twitter- https://twitter.com/IntellectualDa8

Well folks, apparently AMC aired a reality show all about Kevin's boring friends running Kevin's vanity comic shop, and it's every bit as dull as it is fake. Inexplicably, it ran for seven seasons. Seven seasons of this garbage! For this week's episode, we watched as much as we could stomach of COMIC BOOK MEN.

Well, folks, we really blew it. We've been lucky enough to have future legendary filmmaker Vera Drew (Beef House, The People's Joker) on the show twice so far in season 2, and both times we bungled the recording! So rather than let all that time and effort go to waste, we cobbled together this supercut of all the best bits we were able to salvage from each of these failed episodes. First we discuss VULGAR, a truly disgusting, abhorrent work of filth from Kevin's friend Bryan Johnson, and then we talk MADNESS IN THE METHOD, the strange, cathartic directorial debut from Jason Mewes.

You can follow Vera at https://twitter.com/veradrew22 and find out more about The People's Joker at http://thepeoplesjoker.com

Inevitably and regrettably, we expand our scope beyond Kevin Smith the filmmaker and into the equally upsetting world of Kevin Smith the comic book writer. Niel Jacoby, host of Spall Talk and Mature Listeners, helps us unpack the painful experience of reading Kevin's two consecutive Batman series, Cacophony and The Widening Gyre.

Follow Niel on Twitter: https://twitter.com/fuckinalpamare

Find their podcasts at https://spalltalk.blogspot.com

And their music at https://nieljacoby.bandcamp.com

Our good friend Valerie is back again, to suffer through another excruciatingly long Kevin Q&A session with us. AN EVENING WITH KEVIN SMITH is almost four hours long and absolutely packed with rambling stories that go nowhere. This one is so long that even the audience of adoring Kevin fans becomes visibly bored by the end. We fucking hated this shit, but we do it all for you, folks!

Follow Valerie on Twitter: https://twitter.com/StealingValerie

And on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/StealingValerie

For the first time in the history of the podcast, Rose, Trev, and [Edward] talk about a movie that Kevin Smith had absolutely nothing to do with. Don't worry, we'll be back next week with more god-awful Kevin material. But BILL & TED FACE THE MUSIC is just too important for us not to talk about, and it provides a perfect counterexample to pretty much every shitty thing Kevin has ever done.

Writer/photographer/erstwhile podcaster Abdul Y. Malik joins the Kevin crew to analyze the utterly pointless MAGNUM DOPUS: THE MAKING OF JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT. Were you dying to learn the inside story of how and why Kevin Smith's latest film was made? Of course not. Nobody was. But Kevin is addicted to talking to a camera, so here's a whole documentary about it.

You can find Abdul's writing at https://www.abdulymalik.com

Follow him on Twitter: https://twitter.com/socialistraptor

Our good friend Kurt Schiller makes a return appearance for a very special episode in which we discuss something that we actually liked and only sort of involves Kevin. SOUTHLAND TALES is an incredibly weird, audacious, operatic mess of a movie that we all fell in love with and had a great time talking about. It also features a brief appearance by filmmaker Kevin Smith.

Check out Kurt's awesome new online magazine BLOOD KNIFE at http://bloodknife.com

And become a patron at https://www.patreon.com/bloodknife

"Pimps don't commit suicide."

-SOUTHLAND TALES (2006)

We're back! On the probing and incisive season premiere of We Need to Talk About Kevin, we dig into Kevin Smith's heroic origin story and learn the names of all the individual creeps responsible for giving him a career. Yes, apparently there is a feature-length documentary about the making of CLERKS and we watched it on purpose.

Wow! It's a very special season finale of We Need to Talk About Kevin featuring none other than Matt Christman from Chapo Trap House! It's been a long, regrettable journey, but we've finally reached our destination. We watched Kevin Smith's most recent (and hopefully last ever) movie, JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT, and our esteemed guest is here to help us decide whether it's the best or worst movie of his miserable career.

Thanks for listening, everybody! We're taking a hiatus for the sake of our mental health, but there's still plenty of Kevin-related garbage left to sift through, so we'll see you all in season 2! Maybe.

Hey, it's your two favorite guys, Jay and the other one, together again in extremely shitty, ugly animated form. This is the kind of garbage that only truly committed Kevin Smith scholars would even dare to watch. That's right, it's JAY & SILENT BOB'S SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE!

originally released Nov 15, 2020

We're back again to talk more shit about THE DARK KNIGHT, a movie about how it's good to lie to people, because people are good but they're stupid and if they know the truth they might become bad, or something like that. It doesn't make a lot of sense.

Listen to Intellectual Dark Wave at https://intellectualdarkwave.bandcamp.com or https://youtube.com/intellectualdarkwave or probably any other music place you like. You can also follow him @IntellectualDa8 on Twitter.

Well, folks, this one is dark. The time for fun and games is over. We've crossed the threshold into the land of shadows and there's no turning back. What was once a puzzled fascination has curdled into a grim and mournful task. There is no catharsis here, only damnation. YOGA HOSERS is a deeply cursed film.

Vera Drew, executive producer of Tim and Eric's Beef House, joins us for a very exciting episode about TUSK, which, honestly, I'm not even gonna try to describe here. You'll just have to listen and find out. Definitely don't watch it though. For the love of god, do not watch TUSK.

Vera is awesome, and you're required to check out her stuff!

Her very funny webseries, Hot Topics: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIro20UDzkM

Fireside Talk with V, every Tuesday on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/veradrew22

Twitter: https://twitter.com/veradrew22

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/veradrew22

Don't forget to watch Beef House on Adult Swim: https://www.adultswim.com/videos/beef-house

And here's that video we watched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPF_te-wtOw

Our buddy Kevin made a guest appearance on The Simpsons, so we felt obligated to watch it and talk about it. Turns out Kev was only on it for like a second, but that's fine. It was a very funny and cool episode about weed and we all enjoyed it a lot. Check it out if you love weed!

Leslie Lee III of Struggle Session joins us to talk RED STATE, Kevin's unidentifiable attempt at a horror movie or maybe a police procedural. It's really bad don't watch it, do something cool instead.

Listen to Struggle Session: patreon.com/strugglesession

Bryan Quinby aka MurderBryan, host of Street Fight Radio, joins us to talk about COP OUT, Kevin Smith's lackluster contribution to the buddy cop genre. Folks, we hated this movie almost as much as Bruce Willis hated starring in it. Tune in for the sordid details of Kevin's on-set feud with his leading man, and stick around to hear his epic clapback against the nasty movie critics.

Listen to Street Fight: https://www.streetfightradio.com/

Watch Means TV: https://means.tv/

Follow Bryan on Twitter: https://twitter.com/MurderBryan

Special guest Jack Allison, host of JackAM and Struggle Session, joins us to lament the truly awful 2008 flop ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO. Prepare to be blasted with a heavy load of Kevin Smith's weird sex hangups in this bizarre snapshot of late-00s comedy. Seriously, don't watch this movie.

Watch JackAM: https://www.twitch.tv/jackam

Listen to Struggle Session: https://soundcloud.com/strugglesesh

Follow Jack on Twitter: https://twitter.com/jackallisonLOL

Your old pals Dante and Randall are back on the big screen in the long-awaited sequel to the movie that started it all. That's right, folks, we watched CLERKS II, and we all hated it! Trev thought that Rose and Ted were going to like this one, but he was dead wrong! We're beginning to suspect that Kevin Smith might be a huge idiot who sucks at making movies.

That's right, folks, it's the JERSEY GIRL episode! We know you've all been waiting for this one. Everyone remembers JERSEY GIRL, right? Kevin Smith's heartwarming story of fatherhood and loss was nominated for three Razzies, but lost in all three categories to FAHRENHEIT 9/11.

Speaking of the Razzies, check out Rose's latest video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuG3iolSDvo

originally published Nov 1, 2020

We're back, folks, and we're taking on the fourth best comic book movie of 2008! In part one of our analysis of THE DARK KNIGHT, we explore the warped mind of the scariest villain in all of movie history, in a heated debate that threatens to tear us apart! Have our fragile hearts been forever scarred by the sinister ways of the Clown Prince of Crime? Have his devilish tricks doomed us all? Find out, on another thrilling installment of BATMAN BEGONE!

Listen to Intellectual Dark Wave at https://intellectualdarkwave.bandcamp.com or https://youtube.com/intellectualdarkwave or probably any other music place you like. You can also follow him @IntellectualDa8 on Twitter.

We're joined by very special guest and fellow Kevin Smith scholar Valerie (aka StealingValerie) to chat about the short-lived TV show CLERKS: THE ANIMATED SERIES. Everybody liked it except for Trevor because he's a grumpy old curmudgeon. We also briefly discuss the aborted pilot for a live-action Clerks sitcom, which nobody liked. Later, in Kevin's Receipts, we talk Weight Watchers sponcon and Feige juice.

Follow Valerie on Twitter: https://twitter.com/StealingValerie

And on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/stealingvalerie

Phase One of the View Askewniverse comes to its momentous conclusion in the pre-9/11 comedy classic JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK. Rose and Ted have their high hopes shattered by this irredeemable mess of a movie, and the future looks bright for #TeamTrev. Also, Kevin Smith wants you to know that he's NOT a homophobe.

The full text of Kevin's incredibly long response to GLAAD can be found here: http://www.seanbaby.com/news/glaad4.htm

We're joined by special guest Kurt Schiller to unpack Kevin Smith's star-studded Bible adventure, DOGMA. We try to figure out what, if anything, this film has to say about Catholicism, and Kurt lends his expertise as a New Jersey native to help us understand the mythical state that molded Kevin into the manchild he is today.

Do yourself a favor and listen to Kurt's excellent podcast, Parents Just Don't Understand: https://soundcloud.com/parentspodcast

The pictures we talk about in this week's Kevin's Receipts segment can be found here: https://imgur.com/a/GlpCnD7

In 1997, auteur filmmaker Kevin Smith shocked the world with CHASING AMY, a groundbreaking story of queer romance in the world of comic books, and earned himself a spot in the pantheon of LGBTQ+ cinema. On an inspirational new episode of We Need to Talk About Kevin, we all learn an important lesson about love and acceptance from this breathtaking classic.

We're back, and we're discussing the profound emptiness of MALLRATS, Kevin Smith's sophomore film about a couple of whiny jerks who go to the mall to yell at their ex-girlfriends. Why does this movie exist? Why did we all watch the painfully long extended version? And why does Ted keep insisting that he actually liked it? None of these questions will be answered on this week's episode of We Need to Talk About Kevin!

The picture that we talk about in the Kevin's Receipts segment can be found here: i.imgur.com/L9ZlUZ6.png

Welcome to We Need to Talk About Kevin, a podcast in which we investigate the life and works of filmmaker Kevin Smith and attempt to figure out what, if anything, is going on inside his brain. On this inaugural episode, your hosts, Ted, Rose, and Trevor, take a look back at the movie that started it all, 1994's black-and-white cult classic CLERKS and try to determine whether or not it's worthy of its reputation. Plus, we revisit Kevin's most infamous Twitter post.

originally released Oct 15, 2020

In this episode of BATMAN BEGONE, we get pedantic as hell about Batman Begins and pick apart all of its confusing, contradictory political and moral themes. We also address important questions such as:

-What the fuck is Rachel's problem?

-How is it possible for Christian Bale to suck so bad in this movie?

-Is it ever okay for a dude to beat up his own mom?

Stay tuned for our expert analysis of The Dark Knight, coming November 1st!

The Batman Begone theme was composed by our good friend, commie synthpop artist Intellectual Dark Wave! You can find more of his fine music at https://intellectualdarkwave.bandcamp.com and https://www.youtube.com/intellectualdarkwave or follow him @IntellectualDa8 on Twitter.

originally released Oct 1, 2020

Welcome to the premiere episode BATMAN BEGONE, our exclusive six-part miniseries in which we offer you the ultimate, definitive, objectively correct critical analysis of Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy! In this episode, we set the stage with an overview of the trilogy and then try to identify as many positive things as we can about the 2005 film that started it all. In part two, coming October 15th, we'll take a take a closer look at Batman Begins and its many flaws and attempt to decide whether it's worth saving or if we should simply let it explode in a fiery train crash.

The Batman Begone theme was composed by our good friend, commie synthpop artist Intellectual Dark Wave! You can find more of his fine music at https://intellectualdarkwave.bandcamp.com and https://www.youtube.com/intellectualdarkwave or follow him @IntellectualDa8 on Twitter.