As women, we’re taught not to think too highly of ourselves or to believe that we’re "special". Only a select few can be extraordinary, so why try, right? This insidious socialization convinces us to keep playing small- but I'm done shrinking myself, aren't you? In this episode, I share a why embracing your capacity to be extraordinary is key to creating the life you want, and how to step into your own unique version of an extraordinary life -- beyond what history has told us we're "allowed" to do. Let's go!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/358

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This week I tackle listener questions including whether or not everything that happens to you is your fault because of your thoughts, how to coach yourself through anger, the right questions to ask yourself when self-coaching and more (including my thoughts about pineapple on pizza).

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/281

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When you have goals and aspirations it’s normal to look for someone that can help you reach them. Having a mentor to help guide you can be a great thing. But sometimes as mentees, we put our mentors up on a pedestal. And when we believe our mentors —and not ourselves — have the answer to our success, we strip ourselves of our own authority and power. The same thing goes for coaches.

Tune in to learn how to take the hierarchy out of your mentor and coaching relationships and how the most important mentorship relationship is the one you have with yourself. 

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What if there were one question you could ask yourself that immediately put you in touch with your highest priorities, your deepest values, and how you want to live in the world? In this episode, you will learn the question I ask myself to instantly gain perspective and clarity on what matters most to me. Tune in to learn how this question can change your life, too.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/279

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Whether we’re at the top of a corporation, running our own business, or working as an employee, we’ll often find a million different ways to outsource our leadership to others. But if we can do the hard work of learning to trust ourselves as the ultimate authority over our own lives, that’s where the magic happens.

This week I’m joined by online business legend, Amy Porterfield. Tune is as we dismantle some of the myths about starting your own business and discuss developing a CEO mindset, how socialization affects female entrepreneurs in particular, and the biggest mistake Amy made in her first year of business (so you can avoid it too - whether you have a business or not).

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I am Jewish, but I don’t consider myself to be particularly religious or spiritual. I know that may seem strange or like there’s a disconnect there, but Judaism is more than just a religion. So it doesn’t fit into the westernized ideal of what a religion is or should look like. This week on the podcast I share three ways Judaism has shaped my work in the world and I take a look at how the things that you learn as part of being in a religious community or any other kind of community impact how you think about the world.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/277

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Emotional growth doesn’t always feel great. But it doesn’t have to feel terrible, either. You get to choose whether or not you put the time and energy into changing a certain aspect of your life. The key is being able to recognize the difference between giving up on something because you think it’s too hard, and choosing to pursue something else that is more interesting and important to you. This week we’ll revisit a very important topic: How to know when emotional difficulty is worth it. I’ll teach you why the hardest things are not always the most worthwhile.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/276

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I truly believe self-love is the antidote to a lot of our self-created mental and emotional suffering — life sucks when you’re going through it hating yourself — but self-love is also often misunderstood. Tune in this week as I break down three common myths about self love. I’ll talk about why self-love is not selfish (and what it really is), how self-love will not get rid of all of your negative thoughts about yourself, and why self-love is a journey, not a destination.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/275

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No matter how much love you do or do not feel on February 14, Valentine’s Day is just a made up ‘holiday.’ Yet we’ve been socialized to believe that a woman’s worth is dependent on having a certain type of romantic relationship. This week on the podcast I’m going to break down some common misconceptions about love. Join me as I discuss why love is not a state of being you simply arrive at, the real reason why you do (or don’t) feel loved, and why we think that love is an obligation. 

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The workplace can be challenging for a lot of people, but women and those socialized as women face a further set of challenges. This week on the podcast I’m joined by Jenn Deal, Annie Framand, and Jamie Lee (three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students) to discuss what ambition is and why women have trouble identifying with it, how to advocate for yourself in the workplace, and the right way to negotiate.

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This week on the podcast, I’m joined by three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Deb Malkin, Jill Angie, and Sarah Shiozawa as we discuss exercise — its risks, rewards, and morality. Tune is as we offer our definitions of exercise, unpack the “why” behind our exercising, and discuss the power of choosing for yourself what you do with your body.

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What if I told you that facing emotional difficulty head-on -- instead of numbing out, hiding from it, or trying to "positive-think" your way out of it -- could lead to incredible growth and opportunities? In this Greatest Hits episode, we dive into the concept of self-development not being easy, but oh so worth it. You'll discover how to develop discernment and self-trust, and learn when emotional difficulty is truly worth working through. Facing emotional growth may not be fun, but this week's episode will tell you why it can be one of the best things you'll do for yourself.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/350

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I hear from clients all the time how hard it is to build new friendships in adulthood. But is that actually true? Or are we making that be true by holding onto outdated beliefs about friendship? If you desire more friendships in your life, you won’t want to miss my discussion with Dr. Marisa G. Franco. Tune into this week’s episode as Dr. Franco and I discuss how outdated ideas about friendship can make it harder to form new ones in adulthood, how looking to friends to make you feel good about yourself can be a recipe for disaster, and the role that romance plays in friendships.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/271

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I like to call this the most delusional time of the year because many of us use this time to make goals and resolutions for the coming year that are completely unrealistic for the people we are right now. No wonder many resolutions go unfulfilled; our goals are out of touch with reality. Tune in to this week’s podcast episode to learn one simple concept that will change your habit-making life, how this concept can keep your goal alive even when all hell breaks loose, and how you can tell whether or not your goal is really just a fantasy you’re chasing.

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I love the way I dress, but lately I feel like there’s been some disconnect in my style. I’ve changed, and so has my business, and I want my style to evolve as well. But I found myself not really knowing how to get my outward style to match my inward expression and where I’m at currently in my life.

Tune in as one of my friends and style coach, Judith Gaton, helps me hone my style and we discuss how to mesh different aspects of your personality into your style, how you can use your thoughts and your style to create the person you want to be, and how it’s never really about the clothes — it’s your thoughts about yourself in them.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/269

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This week on the podcast, I’m joined by three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Sade Curry, Candice Toone, and Karen C.L. Anderson as we break down how patriarchal conditioning affects the way our mothers parent us. Tune is as we discuss mothers and mothering, how socialization impacts what we expect from mothers, and what work you can do (even on your own) to repair a mother or parental relationship in your life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/268

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Why is it so hard for us to believe that we’re the authority? It’s because as women, we were socialized to think that way (shocking, right?) — to feel like we’re not quite adults and we’re just faking it till we make it. In this special podcast episode, you’ll hear an interview I did with Sarah Nicole on The Papaya Podcast. We’ll discuss how our socialization affects why we don’t see ourselves as adults, how women are taught to believe that our value fluctuates, and the conflict and tension inherent in being a working mom.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/267

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How do you treat yourself when you don’t get the result you want? Or when you’re wrong about something? Or when you act in a way that you don’t like? Do you have your own back in these situations or do you make it mean there’s something wrong with you as a person?

Listen in as I discuss the difference between doing wrong and being wrong, how thinking you’re wrong can actually make you less likely to fix what went wrong in the first place, and how shame from being wrong keeps you from going after what you want in life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/266

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We often think romantic relationships have a natural progression, right? You meet the perfect partner, you start dating, and as things get serious you start talking about your future together — which usually involves moving in together, marriage, and maybe even kids. But the truth is, you and your partner always get to decide what your relationship looks like - even if it’s different from society’s expectations. This week on the podcast, in the conclusion of a 2-part series, the Gentleman Consort and I discuss getting to decide what our relationship looks like, how we’ve grown since we began dating, and what we love most about each other.

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This week, my partner, the Gentleman Consort (GC for short), is making his podcast debut and you’re going to get a behind-the-scenes peek at our relationship! In part 1 of this 2-part series, we cover the gamut from first impressions and first dates, to the GC’s introduction to thought work, to feeling disappointment in a relationship, to how perfectionism and communication affect your relationships.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/264

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Just a few weeks ago we closed out our last Clutch College Live for a while. Over the course of the 3-day, live, in-person and virtual event, minds were blown and breakthroughs were made. A lot of what I coached on had to do with goals — and I want to share some of the amazing takeaways that came out of that weekend.

Tune in to find out the real reason you don’t set goals, what we’re actually afraid of when we’re agonizing over a decision, how to be prepared for the inevitability of your brain offering you an old thought that will not help you reach your goal, and how life is always 50/50, no matter what.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/263

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Giving yourself permission to want the things you want *and* to go out and get them is one of the most powerful decisions you can make in your life – and it’s also one of the hardest. This week I continue my conversation with my friend and mentor Brooke Castillo where we dive into the feeling of worthiness, why it’s ok to want more than what you have, and how tapping into what you really want helps you show up most powerfully in the world.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/262

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In celebration of Independence Day, I'm discussing one of the ultimate forms of independence - breaking free from caring about what others think. As social creatures, humans have evolved to rely on relationships for survival, making us sensitive to others' opinions. However, this conditioning is often even deeper for women and can impact every aspect of their lives, including their careers, relationships, self-worth, parenting, and so much more. If you want to stop obsessing over what others think and start living unapologetically, where do you begin?

Join me as I dive into why women struggle with this issue and provide actionable steps to rewire your brain and liberate yourself from this mental burden.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/349

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What does it mean to have authority over your own life? When it comes down to it, having authority looks like having your own back, no matter what happens. This week I’m talking with my mentor, friend, and the person who trained me to be a coach and showed me how to have my own back no matter what, Brooke Castillo. Tune in as we discuss how we define authority, what the ultimate claiming of authority is, and how you can take the first steps toward claiming more authority in your life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/261

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In this bonus episode, I’m giving you a little taste of a brand new collaboration I’ve been working on. I recorded five brand new podcast episodes for Radio Headspace, and I’m releasing the first episode today on the podcast. Tune in to this collaboration with wellness app Headspace as I dive into neuroplasticity, one question you can ask yourself to begin shaking things up inside your brain, the pitfalls of perfectionist thinking, and more.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/bonus-headspace

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Women are taught that someone else always knows better than we do. Even in areas where women are stereotypically presumed the authority, like running the household, we’re still constantly told that we don’t know what we’re doing! (Think all of the messaging about how we should parent our children or how we’re doing meal prep all wrong.) Tune in to this week’s podcast episode to find out how this socialization plays out in our lives, what is the most important thought work you can do, and how you can start taking back your authority.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/260

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“Maybe this is dumb, but… ,” “I know I shouldn’t feel this way… ,” “Does that make sense?”

These may seem like simple, innocuous words, but they’re just an outward example of the many ways that women and people socialized as women don’t trust their own authority. It’s no wonder that as women we struggle with people pleasing, seeking validation, and not being able to tune into what we really want - we’re literally socialized to do these things.

Find out more here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/the-society

**This is an updated audio from 7/4/24**

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On this week’s episode of the podcast, I’m going to share what thought work really is, teach you how thought work is more than just working on your thoughts and show you how it encompasses your emotions, values, social conditioning, and more.

Tune in to find out why your body is actually a key part of thought work, learn one crucial aspect of my teaching, and hear why I think there’s no problem that thought work doesn’t help.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/259

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This week on the podcast I’m joined by three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Elizabeth Sherman, Jill Angie, and Karen C.L. Anderson, as we begin to unravel how socialization affects the way women feel in their midlife years.

Tune in as we talk about why midlife is a great time to re-evaluate the relationship you have with yourself and the boundaries you hold with the people in your life, how to not allow your stage in life define your identity, and a better, more empowering alternative to the anti-aging tools society tells midlife women are a necessity.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/258

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This week on the podcast I’m joined by one of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Lindsay Poelman, and her husband, Danny, as we discuss what it’s like for men to recognize their own patriarchal socialization.

Tune in as we talk about how patriarchal conditioning is not a zero sum game, how patriarchy can be oppressive to people of all gender identities (not just women), and why the feeling of disempowerment in privileged white men can actually lead to positive change.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/257

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Something incredible happens when you introduce intersectional feminism into your coaching - you move from coach to change-maker. And my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching student Stephanie illustrates the transformation brilliantly in her ACFC reflection.

Tune in to this special bonus episode to hear how Stephanie’s life and business have transformed as a result of this work.

Join the Feminist Coaching Interest list here: unfuckyourbrain.com/acfc

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Have you ever wondered when you should manage your mind versus when you should take action? Would you like to know the single question that will get you 90% of where you need to go in a coaching session? Are you curious about what my best piece of business advice is for new business owners?

Tune in to this week’s episode as I answer these and more questions from coaches about business and coaching. You’ll find out why there’s no such thing as knowing your niche, how you can get your clients to take a different perspective, and how to know when to switch from offering 1:1 to group coaching.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/256

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In this bonus episode, I dive deep into the perfectionist brain with my friend and coaching colleague, Dr. Katrina Ubell. Tune in to my conversation with Katrina to learn why not all coaching tools work for all brains, how perfectionist thinking can hold us back from reaching (or even setting) our goals and how it keeps us stuck in a cycle of allowing anyone but ourselves to be the authority over our own lives.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/perfectionism-katrina-ubell/

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Understanding what you want is key to creating a life you won’t regret when you die. So why do so many women struggle to pinpoint exactly what that is? If you can relate, in this Greatest Hits episode, I break exactly down what it means to want something (and why women especially might struggle to identify that), how to know what YOU truly want, and how to decide whether it's worth pursuing.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/348

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Sometimes, despite our best efforts, our bodies simply don’t work the way we want them to. Maybe it’s an occasional occurrence for you or maybe it’s something you live with every day. We take on all sorts of messages about what health is (and what it’s not), how we get healthy, and how we stay healthy. But is all of the social messaging we absorb really helping us measure health? Or is it something that has been designed and packaged to tell us how to measure our own morality and worth?

Tune into my conversation with two of my students, Deb Malkin and Michelle Kapler, to learn why health is so challenging for so many of us, how we try to control our health, and how (as usual) trying to control something we can’t control, can make everything feel worse. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/255

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Self-confidence goes by many names - self-love, self-esteem, self-regard. But no matter what you call it, it’s important to dig deep and examine whether yours is conditional or unconditional. When you’re constantly looking to outside factors to feel good about yourself, that’s conditional self-confidence. Conditional self-confidence has a big impact on our relationship with ourselves, but what are the larger implications?

Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn the impact conditional self-confidence has on the way we seek out security, how it can create unhealthy patterns in our relationships with others, and how you can start cultivating unconditional self-confidence.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/254

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Being a first-generation immigrant and experiencing dual socialization (of any kind) profoundly shapes how you experience the world. And that’s exactly what I talk about on the podcast this week with two of the coaches from my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching, Ana Lopez and Cris Berlingeri.

Tune in to learn how dual socialization can help you clearly see how our thoughts are subjective, why it’s important to define cultural traditions vs. non-cultural traditions, and about the power of thought work to help you create the kind of life you want to live.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/253

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I get a lot of questions from people who are new to thought work that have to do with gaslighting themselves. It’s a totally normal concern and one that I’ve talked about many times on the podcast. But here’s why it’s so interesting. It comes from the assumption that your original unconscious thoughts are better or carry more importance simply because it is your original subconscious thought. Why are we giving more importance to the first thing our brains spit out than the thoughts we intentionally cultivate ourselves?

Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn why our original thoughts aren’t necessarily our most helpful thoughts and how the most real or ‘you’ thoughts can be the ones you choose intentionally.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/252

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Do you worry about the future? Do you stress and plan for a hundred different “worst case” scenarios in the hopes that doing so will make you more “prepared” for what’s to come? Humans evolved to fear uncertainty above all else, which kept us safe from starving to death or being eaten by a predator…but now, it’s a recipe for crippling anxiety.

Tune in to today’s episode to learn how to solve your uncertainty problem so you can transform your fear into peace and acceptance.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/251

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Most coaching training teaches that all coaching tools apply to everyone the same. That coaching is black and white. But when you’re aware of different lived experiences, different identities and systems of oppression in the world? And you understand how to navigate those with your clients in ways that help them feel empowered? That’s coaching in technicolor.

Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn more about my intersectional approach to coaching, why I think intersectionality in coaching is so important, and how you can learn my framework to bring this work into your own coaching practice.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/250

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For most people who dip their toes into the world of thought work for the first time, there are usually some questions that come up around subjectivity and reality. “If all thoughts are made up in our brains - is anything really true? How do I know if something is true?” But the truth is, our brains are making things up all the time. We’re actually hallucinating all the time (and no, you haven’t been unwittingly dosed with mushrooms!).

Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn about the way our brains create our realities, why accepting something as reality first can make it more difficult to change your thoughts about it later, and why you should decide what to believe on purpose.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/249

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Twice a week I lift weights with a trainer. This way of moving, yes, strengthens my body, but it has also done wonders for strengthening my brain. So what is the connection between mind and body? And how do we unravel the internalized messages we receive about our bodies to find where true confidence really comes from?

In this special release podcast episode, you will listen to an interview that I did on the Thick Thighs Save Lives podcast to learn practical tips on how to grow authentic confidence (no actual weightlifting required!).

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/248

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A lot of people want to become entrepreneurs to enjoy the freedom that comes with being able to call your own shots. But at the first hint of any of entrepreneurship’s hallmark instability, they usually take it to mean they’re doing it wrong. This inherent brain error of only fantasizing about the positive and rejecting the negative is one I see play out time and time again in all facets of life.

Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn about the inherent brain error and how it can hold you back, and the incredible difference it can make when you accept the full experience of whatever you choose.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/247

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Join me this week as I show you the power that lies in practicing radical self-love and exquisite self-care, why it is a radical subversive act, and how liberation from an oppressive ideology is an inside job. Radical self-love is where change has to start, and it’s a tool that will give you the emotional resources and mental freedom to transform your life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/246

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How do you know if you’re happy? Not just momentarily, but in the big picture sense of living the life you truly want with no regrets? Join me this week as I outline what big-picture happiness means, how it differs from the emotion of happiness, why creating big-picture happiness involves taking risks, and the roles confidence and self-safety play when it comes to going after what you want.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/347

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At first glance it may seem like it’s a ‘bad’ or ‘unhelpful’ thought that’s holding you back from finding your perfect partner, landing your dream job, reaching the next revenue goal in your business, or having the kind of friendships you’ve always wanted. But upon further inspection, you may find that this thought is actually doing important, protective work in the background - especially if it’s one that you’ve tried time and time again to shift with no success.

Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn how changing your thoughts about your thoughts can be just as transformative as changing the thoughts themselves, what rejecting yourself ahead of time may be protecting you from, and the importance of looking at both sides of a belief.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/245

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The mindset women have around money has been affected in no small part by how we have been socialized. At my Feminist Business Mastermind a few weeks ago, I shared three main money mindset lessons that all women - whether you own a business or not - should hear.

Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn why understanding the nuanced difference between asking and offering is so important, why women have been socialized to believe they’re bad with money, and the importance of making sure you’ve carefully chosen your thoughts before you make an offer.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/244

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Some of you know that I was a reproductive rights activist, advocate, litigator, and academic before I became a coach. So I am sadly not surprised by this decision as the writing has long been on the wall. But here's what I have to say as a coach:

The Supreme Court has overturned Roe v. Wade.

How do we meet this kind of challenge, from a coaching/thought work perspective?

Today is a day of mourning for anyone who cares about human autonomy and freedom. This ruling is a violation of the rights of anyone who can get pregnant, and in keeping with a long history of patriarchal control over women/childbearing bodies. As usual, the burden will be worse for people of color, disabled people, poor people, and anyone else living in a marginalized identity or a retrogressive state.

Thought work is not about finding a “silver lining” in human rights violations. It is not about seeing oppression as “perfect” because it exists.

It is about equipping ourselves to return to the fight.

It is about increasing our own resilience, to show up for what we believe, even when we seem to be losing.

It is about reclaiming our own ability to make meaning of our struggles and our lives, no matter what circumstances we live in.

It is about power in the one place that no one else can control: The inside of our own minds.

This work is about liberating ourselves from the inside out, so that we can continue to work to liberate the world.

So allow those emotions today. Anger, sadness, fear. Cry, grieve, scream, howl.

And when you’re ready, manage your mind. Choose what you want to believe – about this decision, about this world, about yourself, about your capacity to hold your experience, to find joy, to create change, to help others.

Many terrible Supreme Court decisions have been overturned in time. It is worth continuing the fight.

If we give up in our own minds, we are giving up on the world. That's how the patriarchy wins. Don’t give up.

P.S. If you want more guidance: I recommend Episode 31, What About Sexism, and Episode 70, Clean v. Dirty Pain.

P.P.S. The quickest thing you can do to help equalize abortion access in a post-Roe world is to donate to local and state abortion funds that will pay for women to travel to states where abortion is still available. You can google to find one close to home or you can donate to the National Network of Abortion Funds here: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/supportabortionfunds?refcode=nnafwebsite Here is another list: https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/abortion-funds-to-donate-to-how-to-help-1351451/ 

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While it would be nice if we could sit back and wait for our incredible intelligence and value to be recognized and rewarded, that unfortunately isn’t the way things work, especially for people socialized as women.

My guest on the podcast this week, founder and CEO of Squad Isa Watson, has masterfully navigated the white male landscapes of science, tech, and now startup, as a Woman of Color, and has used managing her mind to succeed in each of them.

Tune in to learn how creating opportunities for yourself and discomfort go hand in hand, why learning to be your own hype person is so important, how managing your mind can help when going through proper institutional channels (like HR) fails, and the difference between mentorship and sponsorship (and why you should intentionally cultivate the latter).

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/243

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Have you ever wondered if we (or the entire human race) would enter into total anarchy and violence in the absence of self-judgment, worry over other people’s feelings, or agreement on ethics or morality? More importantly, have you ever wondered *why* you think that would be the case? It all boils down to whether or not you think humans are inherently good or inherently bad - to what you believe the nature of humans is.

Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn why it’s so critical to examine and intentionally choose your beliefs about human nature, how women’s socialization adds an additional complicated layer to the way we view human nature, and the role our beliefs about human nature play into how we motivate ourselves.

 Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/242

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