What do I do when my child is anxious — or angry — or just shuts down? 

Welcome to Thriving Kids, a new podcast from the Child Mind Institute. Hosted by clinical psychologist Dr. Dave Anderson, each episode shares practical tools and clear answers to tough parenting questions. Always evidence-based and judgment-free, you’ll hear advice from experts and real parents, all focused on helping you raise confident, connected kids. 

Subscribe now!

Learn more at childmind.org/podcast.

In this first episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson and Dr. Caroline Mendel, a psychologist, dive into one of the most common questions parents ask: How can I get my child to behave better?

From toddlers to teens, they explore what really works when it comes to promoting positive behavior — and why quick fixes and harsh discipline aren’t the answer. Instead, they break down a proven, evidence-based approach that starts with the foundation of a strong parent-child relationship.

You’ll learn:

• Why quality time matters more than you think
• How to “catch them being good” — and why that phrase is more than a cliché
• What the behavior pyramid is (and how to use it)
• Why consistency beats intensity every time
• What actually makes time-outs effective
• And how to handle common behavior challenges like sibling conflict and screen time battles

This episode is packed with realistic strategies, expert insight, and personal stories that remind us: there’s no magic solution — but there is a better way.

Further reading

• (Video) How Can Parents Promote Good Behavior? – Child Mind Institute
• How to Handle Tantrums and Meltdowns – Child Mind Institute
• The Power of Positive Attention – Child Mind Institute

In this first Q&A edition of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson answers real parenting questions about kids’ behavior — what it is, how to shape it, and how to support children through challenges.

We cover:

• How to handle lying, even when kids show no remorse
• Teaching respect, kindness, and standing up for others
• Whether there’s such a thing as “good” or “bad” behavior
• What to do when boys’ behavior becomes more destructive as they grow
• How to help kids recognize areas for growth without shame
• What to do when a high-energy child is sensitive to feedback

Further reading

• Common Causes of Behavior Problems in Kids – Child Mind Institute 
• Why Do Kids Act Out? – Child Mind Institute 
• Why Kids Lie and What Parents Can Do About It – Child Mind Institute

Friendships are a major part of growing up — but they don’t always come easy. In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson talks with Dr. Mandi Silverman, a psychologist and member of the Child Mind Institute’s Clinical Advisory Council, about how to support your child’s social development at every age.

From navigating playdates to managing screen-based relationships, they unpack what’s typical (and what’s not), how to encourage connection, and what to do when your child seems left out. Whether your child is struggling to make friends or just figuring out who they click with, this episode offers practical guidance and real-world perspectives.

Further reading

• Kids Who Need a Little Help to Make Friends – Child Mind Institute

• How to Help Kids Who Are Lonely – Child Mind Institute

What do you do when your child is struggling to make friends, or causing conflict with the friends they have? In this Q&A edition of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson answers real questions from parents and caregivers about how to help kids build and maintain healthy relationships, from early childhood through the teen years.

We cover:

• How to explain that not everyone will like you — and that’s okay
• What to do if your child doesn’t seem to have “real” friendships
• How to support your child’s social life if you’re a shy parent
• How to help a tween handle peer rejection
• What to do when your teen gossips or ghosts their friends
• How to respond to “bossy” behavior in younger kids
• Why teen friendships can sometimes feel toxic — especially among girls
• What to do when an older sibling is being unkind
• How to recognize emotional dependence in friendships
• Tips for supporting a child with ADHD who struggles socially

Whether your child is 6 or 16, this episode is packed with practical advice to help you guide them toward strong, supportive friendships — and build the social-emotional skills they’ll use for life.

 Further reading

• (Video) Being a Good Friend in Hedgehog Land – from the Child Mind Institute's Emmy and Webby-nominated series for young kids, featuring music by Lake Street Dive
• How to Help Teens Through a Friendship Breakup – Child Mind Institute
• How to Help Kids Who Are Lonely – Child Mind Institute

In a world full of comparison — from the classroom to social media — it’s not always easy for kids to feel confident, capable, and valued just as they are. In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson is joined by Dr. Jenny Louie, a psychologist in the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute, to explore how parents can help children develop healthy self-esteem.

You’ll hear about creating a safe, supportive home environment, encouraging healthy challenges, and finding the right balance between nurturing and pushing kids to grow. Dr. Louie shares practical, real-world examples (including some from her own life) that show how small shifts in what we say and do can make a big difference in how kids see themselves.

You'll learn:

• Why unconditional love is the foundation of self-esteem
• Why it's good to encourage kids to try new things — even when they’re nervous
• Why effort matters more than achievement
• How to help kids recover from mistakes and “beautiful oopses”
• How to support self-esteem in the teen years

Further reading

• 12 Tips for Raising Confident Kids – Child Mind Institute
• (Video) How to Help Kids Build Healthy Self-Esteem – Child Mind Institute

How do you help your child feel confident in who they are without putting pressure on them to be perfect or the best at everything?

In this Q&A edition of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson answers questions from listeners about how to support self-esteem in kids and teens. Building healthy self-worth isn’t just about praise — it’s about helping young people feel capable, valued, and grounded even when life is hard or they fall short. Drawing from clinical insight and everyday parenting strategies, Dr. Anderson tackles common concerns around negative self-talk, comparison, perfectionism, and how to model healthy self-esteem as an adult.

Topics include:

• How to build kids’ confidence without making them feel entitled
• What to do when your child says “I’m stupid” or “I hate myself”
• Helping kids avoid harmful social media comparisons
• Encouraging risk-taking when kids are afraid to fail
• Supporting kids when they hear something unkind from a peer
• Knowing the difference between low self-esteem and a rough patch
• What to do when a child’s self-esteem depends on one area (like sports)
• Moving beyond achievement as a source of pride
• How to support perfectionists without reinforcing pressure
• Why how you talk about yourself matters — and how to model healthy self-worth

Raising a teenager isn’t easy — but it is possible to stay connected. In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with Dr. Janine Domingues to explore how caregivers can support teens through adolescence — from emotional shutdowns to risky behavior to the weird world of YouTube.

Together they unpack:

• What’s really going on in the adolescent brain
• How to connect with your teen even if they won’t talk to you
• The power of shared rituals, from car rides to diner breakfasts
• Why you should care about what they care about (yes, even Minecraft)
• How to model communication — and stay regulated when they roll their eyes
• Tips for keeping teens safe around drugs, alcohol, social media, and more
• What to do when your teen shuts you out

Whether your child is 13 or 18, this conversation offers practical insights for building trust, maintaining open communication, and guiding kids through one of the most intense developmental phases of their lives.

Further reading

• Communicating with Teens – Child Mind Institute
• How do I help my child through the challenges they face in the teen years? – Child Mind Institute

In this special episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with NYU social psychologist Dr. Jonathan Haidt for a live conversation on how smartphones and social media are transforming childhood — and what parents, schools, and policymakers can do in response.

Recorded at Guild Hall in East Hampton, they discuss the questions raised in Dr. Haidt’s new book The Anxious Generation — including the points they see differently.

They talk candidly about screen time, youth anxiety, social media “addiction,” digital literacy, tech regulation, and why we’re seeing such sharp mental health shifts in teens and tweens. Whether you’re alarmed by what you see on your kid’s phone or just looking for practical next steps, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and room for multiple perspectives.

Topics include:

• The “post-play childhood” and decline in free time
• When (and if) kids should be using social media
• Why phones in schools are so hard to manage
• Where tech harms hit boys and girls differently
• What parents can do now — even if the genie’s already out of the bottle

Further reading

The Anxious Generation – Jonathan Haidt
Screen Time and Technology Resources – Child Mind Institute

Special thanks to Guild Hall and the Hamptons Institute for hosting this event and to journalist and filmmaker Perri Peltz for moderating with insight and care.

Parenting teenagers can feel like a rollercoaster — mood swings, pushback, and “leave me alone”… until they need a ride. In this Q&A edition of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson answers parents’ real questions about staying connected when teens shut you out, handling blow-ups, setting boundaries that actually stick, spotting the signs of depression, and helping teens cope with rejection and social media comparison.

Have a question for a future episode? Email podcast@childmind.org.

How can I help my child do better in school — without pushing too hard or taking over? In this episode, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with Dr. Adam Zamora, a neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute, to talk about how to build the habits, mindset, and support systems that help kids thrive academically. From kindergarten through college, they cover everything from procrastination and motivation to homework battles, parent-teacher communication, and how to know when it’s time to get extra support.

Key topics include:

• Building a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset
• Supporting effective homework routines (without micromanaging)
• When to push, when to scaffold, and when to step back
• How to work with schools and teachers as part of your child’s “village”
• The value of neuropsych evaluations and what they actually tell us
• Prepping kids for college success — academically and emotionally

Further reading

• College Readiness Toolkit – Child Mind Institute
• Strategies to Make Homework Go More Smoothly – Child Mind Institute

How do you help your child do well in school — without constant stress or conflict? 

In this Q&A edition of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson answers your top questions about supporting kids’ academic success. He covers how to support teens when they're unmotivated, what to do when school doesn’t fit your child’s learning style, balancing activities without burnout, keeping kids focused when they’re not interested, what to do when kids say they “hate school,” and how to talk about grades without piling on pressure.

What you’ll learn:

• How to use motivational interviewing to help teens set their own academic goals
• How to collaborate with teachers on realistic supports for neurodivergent learners
• Drop-off rituals and coping strategies for separation anxiety
• A developmental checklist for balancing school, activities, and downtime
• Practical focus hacks: participation checklists and active note-taking
• Visual cues and positive reinforcement to build independence in organization
• Shifting the conversation from grades and achievement to effort and process

Have a question for Dr. Dave? Email podcast@childmind.org.

How do I talk to my child about death and grief — without making things worse or shutting down their feelings? In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with Katie Peinovich, LCSW, to share compassionate, practical guidance for supporting kids through loss. Drawing on years of experience working with children in New York City schools who’ve faced trauma, Peinovich explains why it’s important to be direct, validate emotions, and model coping — even when you’re grieving too.

Key topics include:

• Why kids need clear, honest language (and why euphemisms don’t help)
• What grief looks like in children — and why it often comes in waves
• How to sit with a child’s feelings without trying to “fix” them
• When to worry that grief may be interfering with daily life
• Scripts for answering tough questions like “What is death?”
• Whether children should attend funerals or memorial services and how to prepare them
• Creative ways kids can remember loved ones, from memory boxes to rituals
• Why it’s okay for kids to see parents grieve, as long as they feel safe and loved

Further reading

• Talking to Kids About Death and Grief – Child Mind Institute

Building healthy sleep habits is one of the most important and sometimes most challenging parts of parenting. In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with Dr. Shelby Harris, a clinical psychologist and board-certified sleep specialist, to share compassionate, practical guidance for families looking to improve their child’s sleep. Drawing on years of experience helping kids and parents, Dr. Harris explains why sleep matters for mental health, learning, and behavior, and how small changes can make a big difference.

Key topics include:

• Why sleep is essential for children’s growth, mood, and focus
• How to create a sleep-friendly environment (and why “quiet, dark, cool, and comfortable” works)
• The most common sleep challenges at every age and what really helps
• How screens, routines, and even grandparents can impact your child’s sleep
• What to do when your child wakes up too early, can’t fall asleep, or keeps leaving their room
• When to worry about issues like snoring, night terrors, or persistent sleepwalking
• Tips for modeling healthy sleep habits as a family
• How to know when it’s time to seek help from a specialist

Further reading

Sleep Resources for Parents – Child Mind Institute
More from Dr. Shelby Harris

How do you support your child through grief when you’re grieving too?

In this Q&A edition of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson answers your top questions about helping kids navigate death, loss, and big emotions. He covers how to support neurodivergent kids when grief shows up as anger or outbursts, how much to show your own emotions, when grief becomes something more serious, and even the surprising role imaginary friends can play in healing.

What you’ll learn:

• “All feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not” — how to validate emotions while holding boundaries
• How grief can look different in kids with ADHD or ODD — and how to respond
• The clearest language to use when telling a child someone has died
• What not to say when trying to soften the news
• How to talk to a 5-year-old about loss in three simple steps
• Why grief comes in unpredictable waves — and how to help kids ride them
• How to model healthy coping when your child sees you cry
• Signs that suggest it may be time to seek additional support
• How pretend play and imaginary friends can actually aid the healing process

Have a question for Dr. Dave? Email podcast@childmind.org.

In this Q&A edition of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson takes on parents’ top questions about kids and sleep. From breaking the habit of co-sleeping to tackling bedtime fears, setting routines that stick, and knowing when to drop naps, he offers practical strategies to make nights calmer for the whole family.

What you’ll learn:

• Step-by-step ways to help kids learn to fall asleep independently
• How to create a bedroom environment that promotes restful sleep
• When a soothing bedtime routine turns into stalling — and how to handle it
• Signs that nighttime fears are typical vs. when they signal anxiety
• Why removing screens at night matters (and how to offer alternatives)
• Clues your child may be ready to shorten or give up daytime naps
• Tips for managing siblings with different sleep needs and schedules
• How to respond when kids keep getting out of bed after lights out
• The truth about weekend late nights and sleep-ins

Have a question for Dr. Dave? Email podcast@childmind.org.

In this Q&A edition of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson takes on parents’ top questions about raising teenagers. Building on last week’s conversation with Dr. Lisa Damour, he shares research-backed guidance for navigating everything from therapy resistance and social media boundaries to privacy battles, motivation slumps, and shifting moods — all while maintaining connection and keeping communication strong.

What you’ll learn:

• How to approach therapy when your teen refuses to go
• The best way to address vaping or substance use without pushing your teen away
• What to do when school motivation swings from “I love it” to “I don’t care”
• How to set limits around social media that actually stick
• Ways to balance trust, privacy, and safety at home
• How to support anxious teens without reinforcing avoidance
• Signs that moodiness is typical vs. when it’s time to seek help
• Why staying connected — even through protest — protects teen mental health

Have a question? Email podcast@childmind.org.

Adolescence can feel intense, confusing, and sometimes overwhelming for families. In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson talks with Dr. Lisa Damour, psychologist and best-selling author, to share compassionate, practical guidance on what most powerfully supports teen mental health. Drawing on decades of experience, Dr. Damour explains why strong, caring relationships with adults are the single biggest factor in teens' well-being, and why social media is only one small part of a much bigger picture.

Key topics:

• The number one protective factor for teen mental health: consistent, caring relationships with adults
• How to put social media in perspective and keep connection at the center
• What healthy coping looks like for teens and four red flags to watch for: substances, avoidance, taking distress out on others, taking distress out on themselves
• How to connect with teens through respect, transparency, and curiosity
• What to do when your teen’s behavior pushes your buttons
• The major developmental tasks of adolescence and how parents can support them
• Practical ways to respond when emotions or situations get heated
• How to keep showing up and maintain the bond that matters most

Further reading

Teen and Adolescent Resources – Child Mind Institute
The Emotional Lives of Teenagers – Dr. Lisa Damour
Rosalie – Dr. Damour’s AI librarian for guidance on raising teens

Talking to kids about sex, consent, and safety can feel intimidating — or like something you’d rather put off. But kids are already getting information from somewhere, and it’s not always accurate or safe. In this episode of Thriving Kids, clinical psychologist and host Dr. Dave Anderson talks with Dr. Angela Glymph, CEO of Peer Health Exchange, about how to have honest, age-appropriate conversations that protect kids, affirm who they are, and strengthen your relationship with them.

They break down what “comprehensive sex education” really means, how to start early with body autonomy and consent, and how to keep the conversation going through elementary school, middle school, and the teen years — without needing to be a “perfect” expert.

Guest

Dr. Angela Glymph is the CEO of Peer Health Exchange, a national youth nonprofit dedicated to helping young people stay safe, healthy, and affirmed — no matter who they are or where they live. Her work centers adolescent health equity, social-emotional learning, and youth-led, inclusive health education. She’s also a parent, navigating these conversations at home herself.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What comprehensive sex education actually includes (it’s more than just “the talk”)
• Why medically accurate, truthful information keeps kids safer
• How kids really learn about sex, consent, and relationships (school, peers, online, social media)
• The benefits of giving kids good information vs. leaving them to “figure it out”
• How to teach body autonomy and consent starting in early childhood
• Why using correct terms (like vulva, penis, sperm, egg) matters
• How to build on the conversation in elementary school, middle school, and beyond
• When and how to talk about contraception, STIs, and safety
• Why abstinence can be part of the conversation — but not the whole thing
• How to respond if your teen is already sexually active
• What to do if you feel too awkward or underqualified to have these talks
• The myth that teens don’t want to talk to parents about sex (and why it’s wrong)

Age-by-age: Laying the groundwork

Ages 3–5 (early childhood)

• Simple yes/no and body boundaries
• Naming body parts accurately (including genitals)
• Basic explanation of where babies come from using truthful, simple language (e.g., sperm and egg)

Ages 6–8 (early elementary)

• Building on earlier explanations with more biology
• Talking about different family structures and ways babies come into families
• Normalizing questions and curiosity

Ages 9–11 (upper elementary)

• Puberty: what’s happening in their changing bodies
• Factual explanation of sexual intercourse and pregnancy in developmentally appropriate terms
• Introducing contraception and safety basics
• Reinforcing body autonomy and boundaries

Ages 12+ (middle & high school)

• Relationships, identity, and decision-making
• More detailed conversations about contraception, STIs, and safer sex
• Consent in the context of romantic and sexual experiences
• How to think about risks, pressure, and personal values

Key takeaways for parents:

• If kids don’t get information from you or other trusted adults, they will seek it elsewhere — online, from peers, or pornography.
• Comprehensive sex education is lifesaving: it helps prevent unintended pregnancy, STIs, and sexual violence, and it builds communication skills kids use far beyond this topic.
• Using medically accurate terms normalizes the conversation and gives kids language to advocate for themselves and report if something is wrong.
• Abstinence is a valid choice and part of comprehensive education — but it shouldn’t be the entire message.
• You don’t have to do this alone: your pediatrician, your child’s school, faith community, and trusted adults (like an aunt/uncle or family friend) can all help.
• Teens may act like they don’t want to talk to you, but many do want open, nonjudgmental conversations — they’re also trying to figure out how to approach you.

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Books for kids & families

• Cory Silverberg – books about bodies, reproduction, and growing up (including What Makes a Baby and later titles for older kids and teens)
• Megan Madison – Being You and Yes! No! (early childhood books covering gender, consent, and body autonomy)

Organizations & platforms

• Peer Health Exchange – comprehensive, inclusive, peer-led health education
• Selfsea (selfsea.org) – Peer Health Exchange’s digital platform created with and for young people, including stories and resources on sex, consent, and talking to parents
• Planned Parenthood – education and resources for teens and parents on sexual and reproductive health

Further reading

• Talk to Your Kids About Sex and Healthy Relationships – health.gov
  • https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/healthy-living/sexual-health/talk-your-kids-about-sex-and-healthy-relationships
• The Best Sex Education Books for Kids of All Ages (And Their Parents!) – Healthy Children / AAP
  • https://www.parents.com/kids/health/best-sex-education-books-for-kids-by-age/
• How to Talk to Kids About Sex and Boundaries – Child Mind Institute
  • https://childmind.org/article/how-talk-kids-sex-consent-boundaries/
• How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn – TIME
  • https://time.com/4277188/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-porn/

About Thriving Kids

Thriving Kids is a podcast from the Child Mind Institute that helps you raise emotionally healthy children with practical, expert-backed advice.

Parents sent in smart, honest questions about how to keep conversations about sex, consent, and safety going at home. In this Q&A episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson from the Child Mind Institute, answers questions about when to start, what’s age-appropriate, and how to talk about everything from consent to porn — without losing your kid’s trust.

You’ll learn how to:

• Start early talking about body boundaries and use accurate language

• Talk about consent in everyday life

• Handle porn exposure and online curiosity

• Balance privacy, safety, and your family’s values

• Keep the door open even when teens roll their eyes

Key takeaways:

• What age to start talking about sex and consent

• How to explain the biology of reproduction without euphemisms

• Setting boundaries and modeling consent in daily life

• Talking about porn and online exposure without shame

• Balancing privacy and safety with teens in relationships

• How to share family values without sounding preachy

• What to do if your teen is already sexually active

• Keeping awkward conversations open and honest

Resources mentioned:

Books

• What Makes a Baby, Sex Is a Funny Word, and You Know, Sex – Cory Silverberg
• Being You and Yes! No! – Megan Madison

Organizations & platforms

• Peer Health Exchange

• Selfsea – digital platform by Peer Health Exchange with stories and tools created with and for young people

• Planned Parenthood – resources and education for sexual and reproductive health

Further reading

• How to Talk to Kids About Sex and Boundaries – Child Mind Institute

• How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn – TIME, by Dr. Dave Anderson

• Talk to Your Kids About Sex and Healthy Relationships – health.gov

• The Best Sex Education Books for Kids of All Ages (And Their Parents!) – Parents / AAP

The holidays can feel like a marathon for parents — full of expectations, logistics, and emotions. In this episode, Dr. Dave Anderson talks with clinical psychologist (and new parent) Dr. Kimberly Alexander about what she calls “running the gauntlet” of the holiday season.

They unpack how to manage your own expectations, keep kids regulated, and handle tricky family moments — without losing your sense of humor or sanity.

You’ll learn:

• Why “know thy child” might be the best holiday mantra
• How to balance structure and flexibility when school’s out
• What to do when your child’s behavior doesn’t match your “perfect family” vision
• How to set boundaries with relatives who take it personally
• Tips for teaching gratitude and handling gift-giving meltdowns

Dr. Alexander also shares what she calls “the Kim package” — her practical approach to balancing family needs, setting limits with grace, and remembering that every year looks different.

Related resources:

• Making the Holidays Kid-Friendly – Child Mind Institute
• How to Take the Stress Out of Family Gatherings – Child Mind Institute 

In this Q&A follow-up to last week’s Thanksgiving special, Dr. Dave Anderson answers listener questions about emotional self-regulation, holiday expectations, and the stress that comes with getting everyone together under one roof.

You’ll hear quick, practical guidance on:

• Managing holiday expectations so you don’t end up disappointed
• How much to plan during winter break
• Loosening screen limits without losing control
• What to do about kids who refuse holiday meals
• Teens who disappear the moment break starts
• Handling gift-giving reactions and gratitude
• Protecting your own energy and avoiding resentment
• Resetting when the day goes off the rails

If you’re celebrating Thanksgiving, we hope your day feels manageable. If not, these answers apply to any big family gathering — December holidays, birthdays, or any festival that brings people together.

Dr. Dave Anderson and special guest Dr. Marc Brackett, the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, discuss the importance of understanding and managing emotions. Dr. Brackett shares insights from his books, Permission to Feel and Dealing with Feeling, and highlights practical strategies. Whether you're a parent, educator, or caregiver, this conversation offers valuable guidance on raising emotionally healthy children and the vital role emotion regulation plays in a child's well-being.

Further reading from the Child Mind Institute

• How Can We Help Kids With Self-Regulation?
• How to Help Children Calm Down

And more from Dr. Marc Brackett

• Dealing with Feeling

Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with science journalist and author Melinda Wenner Moyer to talk about what kids actually need to cope, connect, and grow up healthy today.

They cover:

• Why letting kids experience big feelings builds resilience
• How listening (not lecturing) strengthens connection
• What parents get wrong about screens and tech
• Why avoiding hard topics doesn’t protect kids
• How everyday conversations shape empathy and judgment

This episode is about practical, research-backed parenting — not perfection.

Further reading

• How Can We Help Kids With Self-Regulation? - Child Mind Institute
• How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t A**holes - Melinda Wenner Moyer
• Hello, Cruel World - Melinda Wenner Moyer

Join Dr. Dave Anderson for this special Q&A edition of Thriving Kids, where he addresses parenting questions ranging from managing a 6-year-old's meltdowns to navigating screen time battles to keeping the peace between siblings. Dr. Anderson offers advice on emotion regulation, developing coping skills, setting effective boundaries, and more. 

How do you talk to kids about the hard stuff — without making their worries worse?

In this Thriving Kids Q&A episode, Dr. Dave Anderson answers real questions from parents about how to talk with kids and teens about difficult, emotionally loaded topics in calm, developmentally appropriate ways.

Drawing on clinical experience from his work at the Child Mind Institute, Dr. Anderson walks through what helps — and what often backfires — when kids ask about scary news, big life fears, or sensitive issues at home.

Topics covered in this episode include:

• Talking to kids about anxiety, disasters, and frightening news
• Helping children cope with worries about climate change
• Supporting kids dealing with unkind friends or social rejection
• How to respond when kids fear losing a parent
• Discussing financial stress without passing on adult worry
• How to talk about suicide safely and openly
• Explaining substance use and addiction in age-appropriate ways

Throughout the episode, Dr. Anderson emphasizes validation, honesty, emotional regulation, and keeping conversations open — even when a parent feels they didn’t handle a moment perfectly the first time.

Further reading

• Helping Children Cope With Frightening News – Child Mind Institute
• Kids and Climate Anxiety – Child Mind Institute
• Big Talks: How to Have Important Conversations With Kids – Child Mind Institute

Parenting a teen can feel like walking on eggshells. Conversations can turn into conflict. Teens may pull away, and parents may wonder how to navigate boundaries and stay connected.

In this episode of the Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson is joined by pediatric psychologist Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart to talk about what actually helps build a stronger, healthier relationship with your teen — even during tough moments.

They discuss:

• Why teens push back and pull away during adolescence
• What real connection with teens looks like (and what it doesn’t)
• How to set limits without damaging trust
• Common parenting mistakes that increase power struggles
• How to stay grounded when emotions run high
• Practical ways to rebuild connection after conflict

This conversation focuses on realistic, evidence-based strategies parents can use to improve communication, reduce tension, and strengthen trust — without trying to control or fix their teen.

Further reading

Tips for Communicating With Your Teen – Child Mind Institute
Help! My Teen Stopped Talking to Me – Child Mind Institute

Parenting teens can feel confusing and exhausting — especially when connection starts to slip.

In this Thriving Kids Q&A episode, Dr. Dave Anderson from the Child Mind Institute answers real questions from parents about staying connected to teenagers during adolescence.

We cover:

• Why teens can be warm and talkative with other adults but distant at home
• How memes, TikToks, and inside jokes still count as real connection
• How to prepare teens for college and independence without constant conflict
• What to do when defiance and power struggles escalate
• How to respond when teens self-diagnose ADHD or other mental health conditions online

This episode focuses on relationship-first parenting, clear boundaries, and helping teens feel understood — so they’re more likely to come to you when it really matters.

Further reading 

• Help! My Teen Stopped Talking to Me – Child Mind Institute
• Tips for Communicating With Your Teen – Child Mind Institute
• Parenting a Defiant Teen: Expert Tips – Child Mind Institute

In this Thriving Kids Q&A, Dr. Dave Anderson explains how parents can recognize early signs of dyslexia, ADHD, and learning disabilities, advocate for school support, and protect their child’s self-esteem while they struggle academically. This episode offers practical guidance on evaluations, IEPs and 504 plans, reading intervention, ADHD treatment, and why early support can change a child’s trajectory.

In this episode, we cover:

·       Early signs of dyslexia and learning disabilities

·       ADHD in kids and why it’s not just about trying harder

·       When to ask for a school evaluation

·       IEPs, 504 plans, and school accommodations

·       The emotional impact of academic struggles

·       How early intervention supports confidence and long-term success

·       What parents can do when teachers say a child will “grow out of it”

Podcast Links

·       Understanding Dyslexia

·       Getting Support From Your Child’s School

·       Inside an Evaluation for Learning Disorders

What happens when systems built to support kids with learning disabilities change?  In this episode, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with Dr. Jacqueline Rodriguez, CEO of the National Center for Learning Disabilities, to discuss the state of learning disability support across the country, from early screening and phonics-based reading instruction to IEP protections and the real concerns parents are raising right now about changes at the Department of Education.  
Whether you're a parent, educator, or someone who cares about public education, this conversation is for you.

Mentioned in this episode: 

National Center for Learning Disabilities (NCLD) — https://ncld.org/

IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) — https://ncld.org/join-the-movement/understand-the-issues/learn-the-law/

Further reading:

·      How Kids Learn to Read – Child Mind Institute

·      Learning Disabilities and Self-Advocacy – Child Mind Institute

·      Quick Guide to Specific Learning Disorder – Child Mind Institute

In this Q&A episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson follows up on last week’s conversation with Dr. Joanna Kim about parental self-care and the invisible labor of raising kids. He answers listener questions about guilt, exhaustion, and how to make “filling your cup” realistic in a normal week.

In this episode, we cover:

• “How do I help friends who feel guilty taking time away from their kids?” Reframe from quantity to quality time. Try a one-week experiment: take a little time back, then notice what changes (energy, patience, connection).
• “I’m a chronic yes-person. What do I say no to?” Sort non-negotiables, want-to-dos, and energy drains. Practice saying "no" for a short window (a few days), then decide what boundaries should stick.
• “I get homework from my child’s therapist and forget. I feel like I’m failing.” You’re not failing. Your therapist wants honesty. Build a simple system for tracking and prioritizing, then accept that some tasks won’t happen every week.
• “I have no time. Work, dinner, bedtime, repeat. What can I do?” Start by naming what actually calms you (food/drink, movement, sleep, connection, faith/spiritual practices, quiet). Then look for small pockets to repeat, not a perfect routine.
• “Any clever tricks to get a break without my kids interrupting?” Tricks can work in the short term, but the long-term goal is modeling normal boundaries: “I’m taking 20 minutes. I’ll be back at ___.” 

Key takeaways:

• “Self-care” doesn’t require money or big blocks of time.
• Start with minutes, then build.
• Your goal isn’t more time with your kids — it’s better time with your kids.
• Boundaries often matter as much as adding new habits.
• If you’re working with a therapist/coach, missed homework is useful info — it helps you set a plan that fits your real week.

Self-care for parents isn’t selfish — it’s fuel.

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson talks with Dr. Joanna Kim about what real self-care looks like for busy parents — especially those who feel guilty about taking a break.

We cover:

• Why self-care can feel like a privilege or unrealistic
• How to “fill your cup” in 1 to 5 minutes (no spa day required)
• The science of parent engagement and what gets in the way
• How sleep, boundaries, and saying no protect your energy
• Why modeling rest and balance matters for your kids

From tea with a daily quote to pocket Sudoku to sleeping in without guilt — this episode is about small, doable changes that help you show up as the parent you want to be.

Follow Dr. Kim’s Engaging Families Lab:
Instagram: @engagingfamilieslab
Website: engagingfamilieslab.org

Further reading

The Impact of Parental Burnout – American Psychological Association (APA)
Mental Health Resources for Parents – Mental Health America (MHA)
Why Self-Care Is Essential to Parenting – Child Mind Institute 

In this Thriving Kids Q&A episode, Dr. Dave Anderson answers parent questions about child stress, anxiety, avoidance, burnout, and coping with big emotions.

Building on a recent conversation with Dr. Dylan Gee, a professor of psychology at Yale University, this episode focuses on how kids learn to respond to stress — and how parent behavior can either ease anxiety or reinforce it over time.

Dr. Anderson addresses common situations parents face, including school anxiety, physical symptoms of stress, over-scheduling, achievement pressure, and burnout. He explains why avoidance often makes anxiety worse and how parents can support kids without pushing too hard or being too accommodating to their anxiety.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How kids pick up on parental stress — and how to change your own venting habits
• Why avoidance increases anxiety over time
• Why anxiety often shows up as stomachaches or headaches
• Why reassurance can backfire — and what to do instead
• How accommodation can unintentionally reinforce anxiety
• How to support over-scheduled teens under college pressure
• What teen burnout looks like after prolonged stress
• Simple tools to reset a child’s nervous system before tests, games, or performances

This episode draws on evidence-based approaches from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), child development research, and clinical practice. It’s designed for parents of kids navigating anxiety, perfectionism, stress, and emotional overload.

Further reading

• (Video) How do I help my child cope with stress? – Child Mind Institute
• The Art and Science of Mindfulness – Child Mind Institute  

For more expert guidance and free family resources, visit:

https://childmind.org/resources

Is your child struggling with stress — or is it something more?

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with Dr. Dylan Gee, a professor of psychology at Yale University, to explore the vital difference between managing stress and simply trying to avoid it. While it’s natural to want to "pave the road" and remove obstacles for our children, learning to tolerate discomfort is one of the most important emotional skills a child can build.

We discuss the "avoidance trap," where stepping in to solve every problem can actually make a child's stress worse over time. Dr. Gee explains how kids can learn to recover from hard moments and why your own emotional state as a caregiver is the most powerful tool for helping a stressed child feel safe and supported.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The avoidance trap – Why helping kids avoid stress can undermine their ability to build long-term resilience.
• The power of parental regulation – How staying calm and regulated helps your child cope when things feel overwhelming.
• Validation and labeling – Why identifying big emotions like "frustrated" or "scared" is the first step toward managing them.
• Challenging extreme thinking – How to guide kids away from "all-or-nothing" thoughts and toward more balanced perspectives.
• Filling the coping toolbox – Practical strategies like deep breathing, mindfulness, and creative expression to help kids bounce back.

In this Q&A edition of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson answers listener questions following last week’s conversation with Jennifer Wallace on toxic achievement culture and helping kids feel like they matter.

Parents asked practical, hard questions about failure, pressure, motivation, and emotional regulation. This episode focuses on striking a balance — between support and independence, structure and flexibility, and validation and limits.

Questions cover:

• Natural consequences vs. stepping in – Did you rob your child of a lesson by rescuing a forgotten school project? How to decide based on context and stakes.
• Kids who cheat because they hate losing – What’s developmentally normal at younger ages, when rule-following matters for peer relationships, and how to address cheating without turning games into power struggles.
• Paying kids for good grades – Does it increase pressure? How to use rewards thoughtfully and fade them out over time.
• When your child says, “I suck at this” – How to respond to negative self-talk and  helping kids move from self-blame to problem-solving.
• The brutal car ride home after a loss – Why “I loved watching you play” can backfire and how to ask your teen what support they actually need.
• When schools make failure feel high-stakes – What to say when mistakes lead to remedial groups or lost electives and how parents can act as “counter-programming” to achievement culture.

Key takeaways:

• There is rarely one “right” parenting move.
• Kids need both scaffolding and space to struggle.
• Pressure affects children differently.
• Validation doesn’t mean fixing feelings.
• Effort matters more than perfection.

This episode is especially helpful if you’re parenting a child who is sensitive to failure, a perfectionist, or feeling overwhelmed by expectations at school or in sports.

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson speaks with Jennifer Wallace, an award-winning journalist and author, about her books Never Enough and Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose. They discuss the culture of toxic achievement and how fostering a sense of mattering can serve as an antidote. Wallace shares research findings on mattering, practical strategies for parents, and emphasizes the importance of making others feel valued in everyday interactions. They also explore the impact of parental self-care on creating a healthy environment for children.

Further Reading:

• How to Help Kids Learn to Fail – Child Mind Institute
• Raising Resilient Kids Who Are Prepared for the Future – Child Mind Institute
• How to Model Healthy Coping Skills – Child Mind Institute

In this Q&A follow-up to our conversation with Dr. Rubén Parra-Cardona, Dr. Dave answers eight listener questions about building and maintaining warm, positive relationships with your children, from toddlerhood through the teen years.

He covers questions, including:

-       How do I stay present during child-led play when I'm bored out of my mind?

-       Can I build a positive bond with a child whose personality clashes with mine?

-       How do I stop my "inner drill sergeant" from taking over?

-       How do I keep the relationship going when my teen won't talk to me?

0Key takeaways

    • Being together is the most important thing. You don't have to be endlessly delighted during child-led play — just showing up can fill their emotional cup.

    • It's okay to talk about your differences. When personalities clash, explicitly telling your child "I'm devoted to building our unique relationship" goes further than you might think.

    • You can be warm without losing structure. Ditching your “inner drill sergeant” doesn't mean abandoning your values — it's a "yes, and" approach: maintain expectations while opening space for connection.

    • Instead of questions, try descriptions. With a silent teen, use behavior descriptions, reflections, and praise instead of peppering them with questions — it resets their expectations and opens the door for genuine conversation.

• Positive Parenting Thriving Kids Curriculum

• Family Resource Center

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with[MH1]  Dr. Rubén Parra-Cardona, a family therapist and the Roger and Carol Nooe Endowed Chair and Professor[MH2]  in the College of Social Work at the University of Tennessee. They discuss the ethical foundations of parenting and share key principles to guide parents in nurturing resilient children.

They also cover:

    • How reflecting on your own history and motivations as a caregiver can lead to more intentional and effective parenting.

    • Ethical mandates — your responsibilities for raising another human being — and how they can guide you in making decisions that prioritize the well-being and development of your child.

    • Applying the principle of “asymmetry” to parent-child relationships and how it creates a secure environment for children to thrive.

Further reading:
How to Build a Positive Parent-Child Relationship – Child Mind Institute

Tips for Communicating With Your Teen – Child Mind Institute

Tips on Helping Your Child Build Relationships – Zero to Three

In this Q&A episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson follows up on last week’s conversation with Dr. Linda Charmaraman about how kids feel about social media.

In this episode, we cover:

• Smartphone readiness is about preparation, not just age. Delaying access can help, but parents also need to take a realistic, flexible approach. Help build digital literacy and encourage kids to come to you for help when something goes wrong.
• Educational screen time can be useful, but entertainment is ok, too. Evidence-based apps can support learning, especially for younger children, but the goal is thoughtful boundaries, not treating all non-educational screen time as automatically bad.
• Privacy and independence should be earned gradually. Parents should stay curious about their child’s digital world. Use clear guideposts and increase freedom as kids demonstrate responsibility over time — much like learning to drive.

Key takeaways: 

• Children should know they can come to you when something goes wrong online. Let them know that honesty about a situation will lead to a much better outcome than hiding it.
• Setting strong boundaries around screen time to protect time for sleeping, playing, and interacting with family especially are among the most important digital rules you can set.
• Digital freedom should be earned gradually through coaching, building trust, and meeting milestones.

Parents and caregivers may have a lot of worries about their teens using social media, from encountering harmful content to cyberbullying. But what do teens themselves say about how social media affects them day to day?

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with Dr. Linda Charmaraman a senior research scientist at the Wellesley Centers for Women and founder and director of the Youth, Media & Wellbeing Research Lab. Dr. Charmaraman's research follows kids from middle school into high school. She shares what teens say actually helps their well-being (social support, finding community, learning, exploring identity) and what tends to hurt (peer dynamics, exclusion, comparison, and hits to self-esteem).

They also talk about what works at home:

• Keep screens out of bedrooms and protect sleep
• Use screen limits to support daily life, not as punishment
• Stay curious so your kid keeps talking
• Focus on relationship quality and communication, not perfect control

The key message for every kid: No matter what happens online — even if it’s embarrassing or scary — you can come to your parent, and they will help you through it.

Further reading

• The Family Media Plan – American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)
• When Are Kids Ready for Social Media? – Child Mind Institute
• How Phones Ruin Concentration – Child Mind Institute

Part 3 of 3: What actually helps students succeed in college?

In this episode of Thriving Kids, our clinicians offer practical guidance for families preparing for the transition to college. From understanding accommodations to building routines that support mental health, this conversation focuses on actionable steps.

Moderated by Dr. Morgan Eldridge with Dr. David Friedlander and Dr. Adam Zamora, this episode covers:

• Academic supports and documentation

• Counseling centers and mental health care

• Self-advocacy in college

• How parents can support teens' independence

College Readiness Toolkit

Our toolkit has guidance for teens — along with a section for parents — on how to get a good start in college and navigate this important period of building independence.

Download it here: https://childmind.org/topics/college/#toolkit

Part 2 of 3: College demands a new level of self-management

In this episode of Thriving Kids, our clinicians unpack executive functioning and procrastination — and why struggling to start a task isn’t about laziness, but about skill development and brain maturation.

In this moderated conversation led by Dr. Morgan Eldridge with Dr. David Friedlander and Dr. Adam Zamora, you’ll hear:

• What executive functioning actually involves

• Why procrastination can become a cycle

• How brain development affects follow-through

• Why building these skills matters in college

College Readiness Toolkit

Our toolkit has guidance for teens — along with a section for parents — on how to get a strong start in college and manage this transition.

Download it here:  https://childmind.org/topics/college/#toolkit

Part 1 of 3: Why does college feel overwhelming — even for strong, capable students?

In this episode of Thriving Kids, our clinicians explore why the transition from high school to college can be harder than expected. Students move from a structured, familiar environment to one that demands independence, self-management, and new social connections.

You’ll hear a moderated conversation led by Dr. Morgan Eldridge with Dr. David Friedlander and Dr. Adam Zamora that covers:

• Why anxiety and depression often emerge freshman year

• The impact of losing structure
• The emotional adjustment of leaving home

• How belonging affects mental health

College Readiness Toolkit

Our toolkit has guidance for teens — along with a section for parents — on how to get a good start in college and navigate this critical period of building independence.

Download it here:  https://childmind.org/topics/college/#toolkit

Talking to kids about racism and discrimination can feel intimidating. But in this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson and Dr. Isha Metzger discuss how to start the conversation early, keep it practical, and support kids in ways that match their age and situation.

What you’ll learn:

• How to convey a clear definition of racism that goes beyond “one person being mean”
• How microaggressions show up in everyday life, even when someone “didn’t mean it”
• Why kids might show stress from experiencing racism through behavior (withdrawal, irritability) or physical symptoms (headaches, stomachaches)
• How to help your child respond if they experience discrimination
• How to teach ally behavior: what to say, when to get help, and why speaking up in the moment matters
• What to do if your child causes harm: Reflect → Repair → Relearn

Key takeaways:

• Start the conversation early and keep it going. Don’t wait for a single “big talk.”
• Use direct, factual language. Kids do better with simple, clear wording.
• Practice a few “in the moment” phrases your kid can actually say, like: “That’s not okay.”
• If your child is targeted: validate first, then problem-solve.
• If your child is the one who said something harmful: stay calm, name the impact, and coach a better next step.

From the episode: M&M exercise 

Use a small bag of M&Ms to talk about difference and unfair treatment:

• Observe differences (color, shape, cracked shells)
• Ask: “Are any better than the others?”
• Connect it to how people can get treated unfairly based on how they look
• Keep it simple: same on the inside, differences add value

Tips from the Thriving Kids tip sheet:

1. Talk about it. Kids are likely to encounter racism and discrimination at a young age. Put aside any discomfort and talk about these topics with your kids early and often.
2. Be direct and factual. When you’re explaining racism for the first time, it’s important to use clear, straightforward language.
3. It’s ok to show emotion. When talking with your children about racism or specific events that have happened due to racism, it’s okay to express your own feelings of anger, hurt, or sadness. This helps normalize these reactions and validate what your child may already be feeling.
4. Take a multimedia approach. Share books, movies, TV shows, YouTube channels or anything else with age-appropriate content related to the issues you are trying to tackle. These can provide additional information, context and characters for kids to relate to.
5. Listen and validate. Even young children are perceptive and may be scared or confused by things they’ve seen or heard. Ask open-ended questions and give them plenty of space to answer. Little kids can also express themselves through drawings or acting things out with toys.
6. Teach advocacy. Just as you may have encouraged your child to stand up for friends who are treated unkindly, teach them to speak out if they witness or experience discrimination firsthand – if it is safe to do so.
7. Plan a course of action. There’s nothing worse than feeling helpless, so if your child comes to you with a troubling experience or concern, help them develop a response. Remind them that it’s not always on them to respond, and depending on the situation, there may be reason to make a report with the school or authorities.

Further reading

• Free Guides and Resources – Dr. Isha Metzger
• Positive Parenting, Thriving Kids – Child Mind Institute

This week on Thriving Kids, I’m joined by actor Orlando Bloom. He talks about growing up with dyslexia, including the challenges he faced paying attention and concentrating in school, and how he developed his own workarounds before many of today’s evidence-based supports existed. We also discuss how movement, mindfulness, good nutrition, and sleep can help kids 
(and adults) manage attention and learning challenges — and why every child should discover their area of excellence.
In this episode, we cover:

• Orlando Bloom’s experience growing up with dyslexia
• How learning disabilities can affect confidence and school performance
• Why diagnosis and support matter
• Practical strategies for reading, memorization, and focus
• The role of movement, mindfulness, and routine in mental health
• How parents can help children build resilience and self-belief
• Why neurodiversity includes both challenges and strengths

Further reading from the Child Mind Institute: 
• Understanding Dyslexia - https://childmind.org/article/understanding-dyslexia/
• ADHD and Exercise - https://childmind.org/article/adhd-and-exercise/
• The Power of Mindfulness - https://childmind.org/article/the-power-of-mindfulness/

In this Q&A episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson answers parent questions sparked by the Orlando Bloom conversation, focusing on dyslexia myths, practical at-home learning strategies, self-esteem, movement and focus, AI tools, and the emotional impact of learning differences. He explains what dyslexia actually is, why evaluation and targeted support matter, and how parents can help kids understand a learning disorder in a way that feels honest, empowering, and grounded in their full identity — not just their struggle.  

Show Notes

·       What dyslexia really is — and why letter reversals are not required for a diagnosis.  

·       How schools and neuropsychological testing can identify reading, writing, or math-related learning disorders.  

·       At-home strategies that may help kids learn, including writing things out by hand, trying creative workarounds, and measuring what actually improves retention or task completion.  

·       How to protect a child’s self-esteem when they feel “stupid” or defeated by school.  

·       Why movement breaks can help with focus, and how to talk with teachers about using them thoughtfully and effectively.  

·       Where the line is between AI as a helpful learning tool and AI as a crutch. 

·       Whether learning differences can be linked to strengths like creativity, resilience, or big-picture thinking — and what the research can and can’t say yet. 

·       Signs that a learning disability may be affecting a child’s anxiety, mood, identity, or school engagement beyond academics.  

·       How parents can talk about a learning disorder in a way that is truthful, supportive, and empowering.  

Relevant Links from the Child Mind Institute

·       Understanding Dyslexia: Signs of Dyslexia in Kids

·       Inside an Evaluation for Learning Disorders

·       How to Help Kids Talk About Learning Disabilities

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson talks with Dr. Lauren Hughes, a board-certified pediatrician, mother of three, and trusted voice for realistic, evidence-based parenting guidance. Together, they explore the stress and pressure parents can face in the first years of raising a child, from navigating developmental milestones to feeding choices and methods for sleep training.  Dr. Hughes also offers practical tips on how to support your child’s well-being without neglecting your own. This conversation can help parents separate common worries from real concerns learn to prioritize connection over perfection.

In this episode, they cover:

• Why “weird but normal” child behaviors are often part of healthy development
• When to seek an evaluation or early intervention if something feels off
• Why feeding choices — breastfeeding, formula, or supplementation — should support both you and your child
• How to approach sleep training without one-size-fits-all pressure
• And why repair, connection, and physical and emotional safety are key to raising thriving kids

Further reading
Complete Guide to Developmental Milestones

Choosing a Sleep Training Program That Works for Your Family

The Public Hughesletter