Thriving in the Messy Middle – Détails, épisodes et analyse

In this latest episode of Thriving in the Messy Middle, leadership coach Amy P Wilkins chats with Adrienne Valencia Garcia, a lawyer turned transformational career coach. The conversation unfolds with Adrienne sharing her intriguing transition story from practicing litigation law to empowering executives through coaching. They explore what it means to navigate and thrive through uncertain times, especially in unique career landscapes.

Adrienne dives deeper into her transformative experiences, such as confronting a career misalignment two decades ago and her recent pivot when her role was eliminated unexpectedly. Through her narrative, listeners gain insight into the essence of resilience, adaptability, and leveraging one's network for growth. This episode sheds light on finding clarity amidst chaos and the importance of personal development, emphasizing how letting go and allowing oneself to grieve occupational shifts can build a bridge to exciting and fulfilling opportunities.

• Resilience and adaptability are crucial in navigating career transitions, even when faced with unexpected challenges.
• Networking can be a powerful, transformative tool, both professionally and personally, when approached with a mindset of mutual benefit.
• Having a support system of trusted individuals aids in processing and overcoming career setbacks.
• Allowing oneself time to grieve transitions and losses in career paths is a vital part of moving forward.
• Investing in self-development and being open to pivot in career directions can unlock unforeseen paths and opportunities.

What I took from it was that I could accomplish things, do the hard things, and that failure didn't define me.
No matter who you are or what your journey is, finding your people with whom you can be yourself is crucial.
There needs to be space to grieve the loss because it's a loss—suddenly, the people I was seeing pretty much every day were gone.
Invest in yourself, money, time, and resources as often as you can, as early as you can, and repeat.
Find the people where you can really just take that filter off, remove it, and just be yourself in a judgment-free zone where they're going to be there to cheer you on.

Mentioned in this Episode
Adam Grant website
Adam Grant: How to stop languishing and start finding flow | TED

Adrienne Valencia Garcia is a first-generation Latina attorney, certified personal and executive coach, and passionate advocate for helping high achievers redefine success on their own terms. With nearly 30 years of experience in the law spanning litigation, transactional work, and in-house leadership, she is starting a new role as Vice President and Deputy General Counsel at a global provider of telephone number and identity information services. Over the course of her career, she's led high-impact legal teams, advised Fortune 50 companies, negotiated complex deals, and guided organizations through significant growth and transformation.

Adrienne's story isn't just about career milestones; it's about navigating the messy middle between achievement and alignment. After spending decades chasing perfection and external validation, she realized that checking every box on paper didn't guarantee fulfillment. That realization led her to take a bold leap into coaching, where she focuses on helping others break free from overachievement, overthinking, and the pressure always to have it all figured out.

When she's not coaching or leading legal teams, you can find her cheering on her high school senior daughter or exploring her hometown of New York City, daily reminders that success is about how fully you live both inside and outside the office.

To learn more about Adrienne's coaching work and speaking engagements, visit www.coachwithadrienne.com

Adrienne Valencia Garcia LinkedIn Profile

In this Messy Middle Moment episode of Thriving in the Messy Middle, host Amy P Wilkins dives into the intricate subject of navigating the turbulent periods of growth and uncertainty often encountered by women leaders. Amy shares personal experiences and insights into stepping into roles and responsibilities that feel larger than life, balancing the pressures of visibility, and the internal battles of self-doubt and belonging.

Amy explores the concept of 'messy' as an integral part of growth and leadership development. She emphasizes how these seemingly chaotic times are not indicators of failure but rather signals of imminent expansion and evolution. This episode is a journey into understanding that discomfort often precedes breakthroughs. Amy encourages listeners to reframe their mindset, turning chaos into opportunities for growth. Through real-life conversations, like the one Amy had with Meb Francisco, she illuminates how navigating through life's arid deserts of uncertainty with self-trust and awareness can ultimately lead to substantial personal and professional growth. By recognizing and embracing the "messy middle," listeners can learn to trust the process and expand their capacity for future challenges. 

• The feeling of stepping into something bigger can lead to self-doubt, but often indicates growth.
• Recognizing 'messy' moments as a signal of expansion helps transform discomfort into opportunity.
• Experiences in overcoming challenges build capacity for future challenges, reducing the time spent in self-doubt.
• Trusting in the process and embracing messiness can lead to growth into larger roles and responsibilities.
• Self-awareness and accepting chaos as part of leadership growth are crucial for thriving in uncertain times.

Thriving isn't about having it all figured out. It's about learning how to grow, lead, and move forward, even when things feel messy.
This feeling is not a sign that you're not capable. It's a signal that you've stepped into something that's inviting you to grow.
You stop seeing it as something to avoid, and you start to see it as something that's leading you somewhere.
The messy middle isn't something we pass through once. It shows up again and again.
This is what it feels like when I'm stretching or when I'm in something that matters.
There's growth and expansion, a stronger, more capable version of you. And that changes your relationship with "messy". 

Podcast Related to this Episode
Thriving in the Messy Middle E19 featuring Guest Meb Francisco: Even the Best Leaders Feel Overwhelmed in New Roles

Amy P Wilkins is a leadership coach, former media executive, and the founder of Choose Awe—a coaching practice devoted to helping women leaders navigate transitions with clarity, courage, and self-trust. After decades in senior leadership roles, Amy now empowers women to lead with purpose and thrive through the "messy middle" seasons of life and leadership.

Schedule an Exploration Call HERE

Read The Messy Middle Blog HERE

Join Amy P Wilkins on Thriving in the Messy Middle as she shares insights on the pressures that come with leadership roles when we find ourselves in the "messy middle" of our careers and lives. This state is typified by transitions, challenges, and complexities that can often lead to confusion and self-doubt. Many individuals report feeling "off" or lost in their roles, yet often struggle to name these sensations explicitly. Most people aren't lacking motivation or capability. They are lacking language. This observation highlights the importance of naming one's experiences without self-judgment, enabling a more accurate understanding of one's current state. By developing this language, leaders can resist the urge to rush through transitions and acknowledge what Amy describes as the Messy Middle Archetype™.

Drawing from her own experiences and those of her clients, Amy introduces the Messy Middle Archetype™ as a framework for naming these seasons of uncertainty and change. Amy guides listeners to recognize where they stand, encouraging identification and fostering self-compassion. She explores six archetypes women often experience: Juggler, Restless Achiever, Quietly Burning Out, Dreamer, Rising Leader, and Seeker. Each archetype represents a unique stage of growth or challenge, offering opportunities for personal reflection and development. Tune into this thought-provoking episode to discover how naming your archetypes provides a burst of clarity and inspiration in your leadership journey and leads to meaningful action. 

• Understanding your Messy Middle Archetype™ can bring clarity, fostering self-compassion as you navigate life's transitions.
• Whether you are a Juggler, Restless Achiever, or another archetype, recognizing and naming your experience can provide insight into your leadership journey.
• Language matters: Developing a language to express where leaders find themselves can help eliminate judgment.
• Energy focus over intensity: Emphasizing steadiness, presence, and self-trust can empower leaders to make meaningful and sustainable changes in their roles.

Thriving isn't about perfection. It's about growth.
You may recognize yourself in one archetype. You may hear pieces of yourself in several. You may move between them over time.
What would happen if I stopped doing something? And why do I believe I can't? - On the Juggler archetype
Confidence doesn't automatically arrive with the title.- On the Rising Leader archetype
The Seeker's work is awareness and willingness.- On the Seeker archetype
Each archetype offers an invitation to AWE, awareness of where you are, and willingness to honor what's true without the story we add to it.

Join leadership coach Amy Wilkins in this Messy Middle Moment episode, as she delves into the often daunting topic of personal branding. She emphasizes the importance of establishing a personal brand well before it becomes a necessity and how this can be a powerful tool in professional growth, even when navigating the uncertain terrains of career transitions. Drawing from conversations and experiences, Amy provides actionable insights on maintaining visibility and building credibility.

Amy highlights the significance of platforms like LinkedIn in showcasing leadership and professional presence. Drawing from last week's conversation with Melissa Cohen, who recast her perspective on LinkedIn usage, the episode underscores the transition from treating it as a digital resume to a dynamic storytelling space. Amy also breaks down statistics that reveal the effectiveness of consistent posting in increasing engagement and visibility. Amy emphasizes showing up with authenticity, investing in your future self, and owning your narrative. Embrace the discomfort and build your brand with intention and courage. Keep thriving through life's transitions with these empowering insights.

• Start Before It's Needed: Amy emphasizes the importance of building a personal brand before it becomes an urgent necessity.
• Consistency is Key: Regular and intentional engagement on platforms like LinkedIn can greatly enhance professional visibility.
• Overcome Self-Doubt: Embrace the discomfort of posting content consistently, as it leads to greater opportunities and network presence.
• Visibility Equals Leadership: Being visible is an act of leadership, not vanity; it's about sharing your voice with authenticity.
• Invest in Future You: Cultivating a personal brand is an investment in your future professional self, building credibility and leadership presence for when the time is right.

The best time to build your brand is before you need it.
LinkedIn users who post at least once a week for 20 plus weeks receive five times more engagement per post.
Visibility is leadership and not vanity.
You're not late, you're not behind, and you don't need to be polished to be powerful.
Your brand is your reputation, your impact, and your voice.

Mentioned in this Episode
Thriving in the Messy Middle podcast with featured guest Melissa Cohen, a LinkedIn and personal branding strategist:
The New Career Playbook: LinkedIn and Amplifying Your Unique Voice
Throughout the episode, Melissa unveils the concept of personal branding, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and showing up as one's true self even when navigating messy middle moments. Amy and Melissa explore mindset shifts essential for thriving in chaos, enriching the listener with life-changing lessons from transitions and professional evolution.

Research Referenced
How Social Media Consistency Builds Unstoppable Results, Storykit
New Insights Suggest Posting Frequency Is Key to LinkedIn Success, Social Media Today
How Often Should You Post on LinkedIn in 2025? Data From 2 Million+ Posts, Buffer
How LinkedIn posting frequency impacts growth, Medium
Women who LinkedIn: The gender networking gap among executives, ScienceDirect

This IN HER VOICE: STORIES OF LEADERSHIP episode of Thriving in the Messy Middle, hosted by Amy P Wilkins, features an insightful conversation with branding strategist and LinkedIn guru, Melissa Cohen. Melissa shares her journey from a high-powered fashion career to becoming a personal branding expert. Amy and Melissa discuss how Melissa's unexpected career pivot at Ralph Lauren during the pandemic led her to uncover a new calling in helping others build a personal brand on LinkedIn.

Throughout the episode, Melissa unveils the concept of personal branding, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and being one's true self, even in messy middle moments. They explore navigating career pivots, the power of authentic storytelling, and using LinkedIn to enhance visibility. Melissa emphasizes the importance of starting, building a network, and using AI carefully while maintaining a unique voice. Amy and Melissa discuss mindset shifts essential for thriving in chaos, enriching the listener with life-changing lessons from transitions and professional evolution.

• Non-linear Career Paths: Careers today are rarely linear, often involving lateral moves and pivots. Embrace change and be open to exploring new directions.
• Power of Personal Branding: Melissa emphasizes the importance of building a personal brand, highlighting LinkedIn as a platform that can create unforeseen opportunities and broaden one's professional visibility.
• Begin with Comments: Getting started on LinkedIn doesn't require perfection. Engage through commenting and build visibility gradually, fostering connections and conversations.
• Utilize AI judiciously: While AI can support content creation, it shouldn't replace one's unique voice. Authenticity is key to branding.
• Network and Relationships: Cultivate a robust professional network. Relationships are crucial in career transitions and can provide unexpected opportunities.

Everything good that has happened to me in the last five years has happened because I decided to be visible and keep showing up on a regular basis.
Your voice is one of the most precious assets that you have. So be really careful who and what you trust it with.
There's no perfect time, and the perfect time is now.
We're all multifaceted individuals. We all have talents… and I think we fall so easily into that trap of only focusing on what we do for work.
Content is king, but comments are the keys to the kingdom. (citing Dan Roth's insight on LinkedIn engagement. Daniel Roth, Editor in Chief, VP of Content Development at LinkedIn)
Your voice is one of the most precious assets that you have.

Mentioned in this Episode
The Spotlight Effect
Wonderland Dreams by Alexa Meade

Related Blog Article
When Growth Doesn't Look Like a Climb

Melissa Cohen is a LinkedIn and personal branding strategist who helps leaders, founders, and executives elevate their visibility, credibility, and business impact. Earlier in her career, Melissa held leadership roles in the fashion industry, contributing to the global growth of iconic American brands, including Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, and Nautica. That brand-building expertise continues to shape her strategic, high-touch approach today.

Melissa is the creator of The Caffeinated Chronicles, a widely read LinkedIn newsletter, and the co-author of the Amazon best-selling book Your Career Resilience Blueprint. In January 2024, she was recognized as a LinkedIn Top Voice by the platform's editorial team. She is a member of the Board of Directors for Her Move Next, a 501(c)3 organization dedicated to empowering girls and young women through the power of chess, community, and competition. She was a founding member of Chief, the largest network of senior women executives.

Melissa's Website
Melissa Cohen LinkedIn Profile
@MelissaBethCohen Linktree
DIY Influence Membership Community: Co-founders Melissa Cohen & Julie Morris
Check out Melissa's #linkedinnuggets - Amy's Nugget is featured HERE

In this episode of Thriving in the Messy Middle, Amy P Wilkins, leadership coach and former media exec, draws listeners into a compelling reflection on choosing a "word of the year" and its transformative power in leading a purposeful life. Amy unveils her chosen word for 2026, "AWE," exploring its profound significance beyond just being the name of her company. With a thorough understanding of navigating complex life transitions, Amy shares insights that illustrate the rejuvenating impact of awe, both psychologically and emotionally.

Highlighting the roots of her approach, Amy outlines her "AWE Framework" – Awareness, Willingness, and Energy – as essential elements to cultivating personal growth. She discusses how fostering awareness allows individuals to recognize their true selves, willingness encourages bold action despite fear, and energy sustains progress and intentionality. Each concept underscores the importance of living strategically and embracing the unknown with a growth mindset. As Amy articulates these concepts, she utilizes key terms such as "growth zone," "resilience," and "creativity," emphasizing a scientifically validated understanding of how awe can expand our thinking, enhance well-being, and spur empathetic interactions.

• Choosing a Word of the Year: Selecting a word to guide the year provides a focused vision and grounds you amid life's unpredictabilities.
• Embracing Awe: Awe bridges the exhilarating and the terrifying, serving as a catalyst for growth and creativity.
• The AWE Framework: Awareness, Willingness, and Energy are key aspects for self-growth and navigating challenges.
• Reflection Exercise: Visualizing your achievements by the end of the year can help identify the word that aligns with your goals.
• Scientific Benefits of Awe: Experiencing awe leads to stress reduction, mood enhancement, and increased empathy.

Awe is the only word that captures that magical tension of being exhilarated and terrified at the same time.
Awareness is about paying attention to the truth of where you are right now. Without judgment, without performance, without the story.
Willingness is where transformation actually begins.
When I choose awe, I'm choosing to elevate my energy, to stay connected to the things that sustain, inspire, and stabilize me.
Energy is the expression of our choice. It's how we embody the next version of ourselves.
A single word that shapes your attention, a word that reflects your aspirations.

Research Referenced: Scientific studies about the power of awe.
The Power of Everyday Awe Eben Harrell, Harvard Business Review
What Is Awe? Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley
Eight Reasons Why Awe Makes Your Life Better Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley

In this episode of Thriving in the Messy Middle, Amy Wilkins delivers a thoughtful reflection on the crucial, often overlooked practice of year-end reflection for leaders.  As 2025 draws to a close, Amy emphasizes the importance of acknowledging both big and subtle wins, supporting your leadership, relationships, and well-being. Discover the AWE framework—Awareness, Willingness, and Energy—to help propel your leadership in 2026. This reflection nurtures clarity and confidence, enabling impactful growth beyond mere metrics. Dive into this Messy Middle Moment to reflect, reset, and prepare for the upcoming year's challenges and achievements.

• Reflecting on past achievements is crucial before planning for the next year, avoiding a negativity bias that focuses on failures.
• The AWE Framework comprises Awareness, Willingness, and Energy, facilitating a strategic reset for leaders.
• Recognizing subtle wins reinforces effective leadership behaviors and influences future success.
• Shifting to celebration impacts energy positively and aids in shaping intentional leadership for the coming year.
• Leadership growth extends beyond metrics, reflecting meaningful decisions and moments of resilience throughout the year.

Your ability to lead what comes next is shaped by your willingness to reflect on what's already happened.
By acknowledging progress, even small progress, you reinforce the behaviors that help you lead effectively.
It's the subtle wins we tend to miss—those moments that directly contribute to your impact and reputation as a leader.
If you don't pause to examine the year that was, your brain defaults to what didn't happen, what you missed, what you postponed.
How you feel about the year influences how you lead in the next one.
What energy do I want to bring into my leadership in 2026?

Related Blog Articles
It's Time for Leaders to Protect Their Most Precious Resource – Their Energy

Research Referenced: Scientific studies in neuroscience support the idea that recognizing progress encourages the perseverance of those beneficial behaviors, leading to sustainable, positive change.

Baumeister, R. F., et al. (2001). Bad Is Stronger Than Good. Review of General Psychology.
Amabile, T. & Kramer, S. (2011). The Progress Principle. Harvard Business Review Press.
Di Stefano, G., Gino, F., Pisano, G. & Staats, B. (2014). Learning by Thinking: How Reflection Aids Performance.
Grant, A. & Gino, F. (2014). A Little Thanks Goes a Long Way. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Bersin, J. (2012). The State of Employee Recognition. Bersin & Associates.
Schultz, W. (2015). Neuronal Reward and Decision Signals. Physiological Reviews.
Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). Broaden-and-Build Theory of Positive Emotions. American Psychologist.
Boyatzis, R. & McKee, A. (2005). Resonant Leadership. Harvard Business School Press.

In this episode of "Thriving in the Messy Middle," host Amy Wilkins shares profound insights on growth and leadership during life's most challenging moments. Amy emphasizes that these "messy middle" moments — times when life feels most chaotic and unsteady — are indicators that exponential growth is coming. Drawing on her own experiences and those of last week's podcast guest, Allison Arden, Amy highlights the remarkable transformation that occurs when we embrace uncertainty and allow it to shape us into wiser, more resilient individuals.

Amy shares her own story of confronting misalignment and physical burnout, underscoring the importance of embracing these tumultuous periods as opportunities for self-awareness and growth. Emphasizing vulnerability and community, Amy offers rich insights, including handling crises, seeking support to overcome adversity, and finding personal growth in professional misalignment. Discover how these moments, though challenging, can reshape you as a stronger leader.

• Messy middle moments are inevitable and recurring for those on a growth journey; they offer opportunities for deep self-awareness and personal development.
• The absence of a clear path is naturally unsettling, but it often preludes significant personal evolution and leadership improvement.
• Vulnerability in the face of adversity, such as asking for help, is an empowering strength, not a weakness.
• Resilience and wisdom are the lasting legacies of challenges overcome, providing invaluable lessons and insights for navigating future obstacles.
• Engaging with a supportive community can transform seemingly insurmountable crises into opportunities for exhilaration and growth.

These messy moments are the times that shape you.
Crisis doesn't make you weak. It makes you real.
The messy middle is where the most happens.

Mentioned in this Episode
Thriving in the Messy Middle Podcast: Emotion and Purpose: A Better Way to Reinvent Your Career

Related Blog Articles
What Happens When Leaders Ask for Help: Growth & Strength
Stop Leading Alone: Why a Strong Tribe Is Essential for Leadership
How to Build Resilience When Life Gets Messy
Why Self-Awareness Is the First Step to Leadership Growth

In a riveting episode of Thriving in the Messy Middle, host Amy Wilkins welcomes Allison Arden, a pioneer in emotional intelligence within business environments. This episode takes listeners through Allison's transformative journey from a high-stakes leadership position at Ad Age to founding Elements of Us™, her groundbreaking framework for understanding and leveraging emotions at work to achieve dramatically improved outcomes. Allison shares her story of navigating personal and professional crossroads, offering powerful insights into embracing one's emotional landscape as a pathway to authentic leadership and innovative transformation.

The conversation delves into key themes of emotional resilience and personal growth, perfect for rising leaders and professionals seeking clarity amid uncertainty. Allison shares candid experiences from her time at Ad Age during tumultuous periods, such as the dot-com crash and global financial crises, illustrating how she came to recognize the power of emotions. She emphasizes the importance of pausing, self-reflection, and the courage to pivot when external success no longer aligns with internal values. Listen to Allison's story of resilience and growth for valuable lessons on navigating your own messy middle.

• Embrace the "messy middle" as an opportunity to redefine personal and professional success by aligning external achievements with internal alignment.
• Develop emotional literacy in leadership to foster human-centred workplaces and improve team alignment and resilience.
• Effective leadership requires pausing for reflection, understanding emotional cues, and asking employees meaningful questions.
• Cultivating emotional awareness can illuminate a clearer pathway when navigating crises and organizational changes.
• See every emotional challenge as a chance to connect deeply with others and drive positive change within teams and companies.

If I could help make emotion visible and make it easier to talk about and act upon, I could help a lot of people and ultimately help a lot of companies.
There's so much joy and so much goodness on the other side, and so much learning and growing, but going through it (the messy middle) is really challenging.
I believe that in setting up emotionally literate cultures and communities, and relationships, people are able to share differently.
If we start taking the steps towards it, then we get there.

Mentioned in this Episode
Elements of Us Website: Explore Allison's framework for visualizing and acting on emotions.


The Book of Doing: Everyday Activities to Unlock Your Creativity and Joy by Allison Arden - An activity book designed to inspire adults to rediscover joy and creativity.

Allison Arden is the Founder and Creator of The Elements of Us, the first patented, visual framework, language, and toolset that brings brain and behavioral science to people and teams to break through their biggest barriers, unlocking greater human connection, resilience, and performance at scale. An award-winning executive, Allison served as Publisher of Advertising Age for close to a decade. While leading through the Global Financial Crisis and the brand's digital transformation, amidst an industry going through seismic change, Allison realized the role emotion played in driving change, inspiring innovation, and navigating stress and burnout. Her curiosity set her on a mission to make the amorphous and 'soft skills' subject of emotion more visible and tangible. That mission led to The Elements of Us and a Master's in Psychology from Harvard to ensure The Elements of Us was grounded in evidence-based research and actionable insights to make an impact. She currently brings the Elements to individuals, teams, and organizations of all kinds through keynote talks and interactive experiences. The Book of Doing, Allison's first book published by Perigee, helps people of all ages unlock curiosity, creativity, and joy. A Brooklyn native, Allison is the Board Chair Emerita and board member of Reisenbach Philanthropies, supporting programs to improve the lives of all New Yorkers, and serves as a board member of Material for the Arts.

Throughout the episode, Amy emphasizes the science-backed benefits of gratitude, such as serotonin and dopamine release, which enhance motivation and emotional well-being. She presents gratitude as a powerful leadership tool that can foster connection, improve collaboration, and create a positive work environment. Amy challenges listeners to engage in acts of gratitude, inviting them to recognize and commend their teams for their contributions. Such small gestures, she asserts, can lead to significant positive outcomes.

• Gratitude is a transformative practice that can significantly impact team dynamics and personal relationships.
• Saying "thank you" can boost mental well-being by releasing serotonin and dopamine, improving motivation and emotional connection.
• Amy shares a personal story where expressing gratitude through handwritten notes made team members feel seen and valued.
• Research shows that gratitude increases generosity and collaboration, with teams exhibiting higher performance and psychological safety.

Gratitude isn't just polite, it's powerful.
When you say thank you, you're not just being nice. You're changing the brain, yours and theirs.
In the messy middle, when things are uncertain, complicated, or heavy, gratitude isn't fluff. It's fuel.
Thank someone today out loud. Be specific. Tell them what you saw, what it meant, and why it mattered.

Research References: studies and summaries behind the gratitude and neuroscience insights shared in this episode:

1. PositivePsychology.com – The Neuroscience of Gratitude
   Overview of how gratitude activates dopamine, serotonin, and key emotional regulation centers in the brain.
2. IE University – The Science of Gratitude
   MRI research shows that gratitude strengthens empathy, memory, and emotional regulation.
3. Nuvance Health – Gratitude & Stress Response
   How gratitude reduces cortisol levels and boosts well-being.
4. PMC Meta-Analysis – Effects of Gratitude Interventions
   Review of 64 studies showing gratitude improves mental health and resilience.

For more detailed sources, read my full blog article, Say Thank You: A Simple Way to Lead with Impact