Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Three Percent

Why do we keep repeating the same relationship patterns, even when we desperately want things to change? In this episode of The Three Percent Podcast, Jamie and Blake sit down with Jimmy Knowles (Jimmy on Relationships) for an honest, funny, and surprisingly vulnerable conversation about marriage, anxious and avoidant attachment, emotional safety, and the patterns that keep us disconnected. Jimmy opens up about his own marriage nearly ending, what he's learned about his anxious attachment, and why even people who desperately want connection can struggle to create it. Together, they explore: Why anxious and avoidant partners often get stuck in painful cycles How people-pleasing can become self-abandonment Why emotional safety doesn't mean avoiding discomfort The difference between expressing a feeling and making an accusation How defensiveness can derail a conversation in just three sentences What it actually takes to repair conflict and rebuild connection Why healthy relationships require both partners to show up Whether you're married, dating, or trying to understand your own relationship patterns, this conversation offers practical insights into creating healthier, more connected relationships. Follow Jimmy Knowles (Jimmy on Relationships): Website: https://jimmyonrelationships.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/jimmy_on_relationships YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaehsa75y02rDJW1oPom-Xw Subscribe for more honest conversations about emotional health, relationships, and the 3% that keeps us stuck. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know your patterns. You understand where they came from. So why is it still so hard to change? In Part 3 of The Three Percent Field Guide, Jamie and Blake explore what it actually takes to move from self-awareness to meaningful change. Recognizing our hidden fears, shame, unmet needs, and protective behaviors is important. But awareness is only the beginning. Real change requires intentional action, vulnerability, and safe relationships. In this episode, we explore: - Why understanding your patterns doesn't automatically change them - How our protective behaviors can keep us disconnected - Why vulnerability feels dangerous, even with people we trust - The difference between awareness and action - Why self-care isn't selfishness - How connection and community help us change - Practical steps toward sharing your 3% You don't have to reveal everything at once. You don't have to make a dramatic breakthrough. Sometimes the most meaningful progress begins with one small, honest step. This is the third installment of our Field Guide series, an ongoing exploration of the ideas behind the book we're writing. **Part 1:** The 3% That Happened to You **Part 2:** The 3% That Lives in You Now **Part 3:** What We Do With Our 3% Moving Forward If this conversation resonates with you, consider sharing it with someone you trust and starting a conversation of your own. Subscribe for honest conversations about emotional health, relationships, shame, vulnerability, and the parts of ourselves we tend to keep hidden. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if being a great dad has less to do with getting everything right—and more to do with being willing to show up imperfectly? In this episode of the Three Percent Podcast, we sit down with Strider Patton, the artist and father behind Dad Braids, a community that began with a simple desire to connect more deeply with his daughter by learning to do her hair. But this conversation goes far beyond braiding. We explore what it really means to be present as a father, why play can be difficult for adults, how our own childhood experiences shape the way we parent, and why embracing imperfection might be one of the greatest gifts we can give our children. We talk about: - Presence versus perfection in parenting - How play builds connection between parents and children - The relationship between childhood experiences and adult fatherhood - Why embarrassment and vulnerability can lead to deeper connection - How the way we speak to ourselves influences our children's inner voices - Learning to embrace imperfection instead of hiding it Whether you're a dad, a mom, or simply someone learning to be more present in your relationships, this conversation is for you. Subscribe to Three Percent for conversations about emotional health, relationships, healing, and becoming more fully yourself. **CONNECT WITH STRIDER PATTON** **Dad Braids** – Tutorials, resources, and inspiration for dads connecting with their daughters through hair braiding. https://www.dadbraids.com/ **Dad Braids Instagram** https://www.instagram.com/dad.braids/ **The Rabbit Hole Children's Theater** – Inspiring creativity, imagination, and play in children. https://www.therabbitholetheater.com/ **Strider Patton – Art & Creative Work** https://www.striderpatton.com/ #ThreePercentPodcast #DadBraids #Fatherhood #Parenting #PresentParenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happened to you is in the past. But what did it leave behind? In Part 2 of The Field Guide series, Jamie and Blake explore “the 3% that’s in you now”—the ways past wounds and experiences continue to shape how you show up today. They look at four places where that 3% can live: your body, your beliefs, your relationships, and your behavior. Why can it be easier to explain what you think than notice what you’re actually feeling? Why do old protective strategies keep showing up in relationships that are different from the ones where those strategies were formed? And how can talking about your pain sometimes become another way of staying disconnected from it? Jamie and Blake discuss self-abandonment, resentment, intellectualizing, shame, nervous-system responses, compassion, and the difference between asking “What’s wrong with me?” and becoming curious about “What’s going on within me?” But this isn’t only an inventory of what needs to change. They also turn toward the other 97%—the strengths, gifts, beauty, and goodness already present that deserve to be noticed and celebrated. This is Part 2 of The Field Guide, a series exploring the framework behind the book Jamie and Blake are currently writing. Keep showing up. You’re worth it. 00:52 The Field Guide: Part 2 02:00 The 3% That's in You Now 06:23 Four Ways Your Past Shows Up Today 08:15 Why We Disconnect From Our Bodies 11:14 How Your Body Learned to Keep You Safe 15:07 Selflessness vs. Self-Abandonment 18:19 Shame, Rage & Protective Parts 20:50 Why We Need Other People to Heal 23:37 Your Body Can Reveal What You Believe 25:37 Stop Asking “What's Wrong With Me?” 28:06 Talking About It Isn't Always Feeling It 30:20 Intellectualizing Your Pain 32:10 Content vs. Process in Relationships 34:47 Don't Forget the Other 97% 38:30 What Is Already Good in You? 40:54 An Honest Self-Assessment 43:11 “You're Not a Good Writer” 43:44 Keep Showing Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Family estrangement between parents and adult children is rarely simple. When a family relationship has caused real hurt, is cutting contact the healthiest choice—or can reconciliation still be possible? In this episode of Three Percent, Jamie and Blake sit down with therapist Matthias Barker for a nuanced conversation about family estrangement, strained parent-child relationships, forgiveness, boundaries, reconciliation, and relationship repair. Matthias explores what can happen when therapy, social media, family culture, and our own need for healing give us different ideas about what a healthy relationship should look like. They discuss when distance may be necessary, why an apology isn't always the same thing as healing, the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, rebuilding trust, resentment and justice, and how parents and adult children can begin taking small steps toward repair. There aren't easy answers here—and that's the point. Whether you're an adult child struggling with your relationship with a parent, a parent experiencing estrangement from an adult child, or simply trying to understand a difficult family relationship, this conversation offers a more nuanced way to think about healing, boundaries, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the way you relate to God has less to do with your theology — and everything to do with your attachment strategy? Dr. Geoff Holsclaw is back, and this time the conversation goes somewhere none of them planned. In part one, Geoff laid out the attachment landscapes — the desert, the jungle, the war zone, and the pasture — and gave listeners a way to see themselves in their relational patterns. This episode takes that framework somewhere more personal: straight into the room where faith lives. How does your attachment strategy shape your picture of God? And what does it actually look like to move toward something more secure — not just with people, but with Him? KEY TAKEAWAYS How your attachment strategy shapes your picture of God — the difference between compensation and correspondence Why anxious/jungle people and avoidant/desert people often end up in the same church frustrated with each other for completely opposite reasons Why deconstruction is sometimes just dragging God into your insecure attachment landscape — and why that's worth sitting with How stoicism and trauma-informed therapy are two sides of the same insecure coin in our current cultural moment CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: am I always trying to do it right with God? (02:00) Welcoming Geoff back — and what we left on the table in part one (05:00) The question this episode is built around: how does your attachment strategy shape your picture of God? (08:00) Compensation vs. correspondence — two ways your childhood gets projected onto God (10:00) Why people with insecure attachment tend to have the big crisis conversion (12:00) Jungle spirituality: hyper-focused on whether God showed up in worship (14:00) Desert spirituality: as long as I check the right boxes, God and I are good (15:00) When desert people and jungle people attend the same church (17:00) Blake: how losing the emotional spiritual experience left him skeptical of everyone who still has one (19:00) Jamie: how his desert strategy built a faith with no room to receive — until it wasn't (23:00) Secure attachment as balanced attachment: holding cognitive and social-emotional together (27:00) We're always trying to drag God into our landscape — and He's always drawing us into the pasture (28:00) Deconstruction as a way of making God match your insecure attachment style (29:00) The rise of stoicism and trauma-informed therapy: two insecure extremes of the same cultural moment (31:00) How to know if you're pulling God into your landscape vs. being invited into the pasture (38:00) Jamie on experiencing God as Friend before Father — and why that path is valid (41:00) God met me in the desert too: why you don't have to throw away the gifts from your old landscape (44:00) Geoff: 26 years into marriage, he just started asking his wife, "Can I share my heart with you?" (48:00) The secret pain of high performers: everyone thinks you have it together, and inside you're terrified you're a fraud (59:00) Where's the growth edge? Running new experiments — that's what faith actually is (01:03:00) The Attachment to God Summit and where to find Geoff LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership Part 1 — Geoff Holsclaw on the Attachment Landscapes: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4TwXYm72Fprc7Bu2Xu6EZV?si=243a17fc5134416d Geoff Holsclaw's Website — Center for Embodied Faith: https://www.embodiedfaith.life/ Landscapes of the Soul (book by Geoff & Sid Holsclaw): https://www.embodiedfaith.life/ The Attachment to God Summit (fall): https://www.embodiedfaith.life/ KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, Geoff Holsclaw, attachment to God, attachment landscapes, desert spirituality, jungle spirituality, secure attachment, faith, deconstruction, stoicism, trauma, embodied faith, Landscapes of the Soul, men's mental health, holistic masculinity, spiritual formation, running new experiments, pasture, healing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the most dangerous thing we can do around suicide isn't talking about it — but refusing to? September is Suicide Awareness Month, and Jamie and Blake are kicking it off with someone they describe as the most accessible voice on this topic they've ever encountered: Jen Butler — real talk writer, comedian, and author of Volume Control — who has spent years refusing to let shame keep this conversation small. Both Blake and Jamie share openly from their own stories in this episode. Blake attempted suicide at 17. Jamie has experienced passive suicidality. Jen has had multiple attempts, multiple psych ward stays, and years of addiction underneath it all. And yet somehow this episode is also funny. Warm. Honest in a way that makes you feel less alone rather than more afraid. Jen traces her story from a heartbreak at 14 in a Burger King parking lot, to a cancer diagnosis at 22 and the narcotic pain pills that followed, to two psych ward stints, breast implant illness, disordered eating, and finally — sobriety, courtesy of a poet with a man bun. She talks about what it took to write Volume Control — a choose-your-own-emotional-regulation guidebook she built over six years by writing letters to her future self from her darkest places — and previews her next book, Stay, which publishers keep loving and refusing at the same time, because the word suicide makes everyone nervous. The irony is not lost on her. If you've ever had the thought that you just didn't want to be here anymore — or you love someone who has — this episode will give you language, permission, and a little bit of relief. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why not talking about suicide is the most dangerous thing we can do — not the other way around How suicidality is really just one expression of a universal human instinct: discomfort is loud, we want comfort Why a suicide attempt doesn't automatically lead to a shift — and what actually has to change What "the volume turned up on life" means and why some people feel everything louder than others How Jen built Volume Control — six years of letters to her future self, organized by emotional state CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: the reason I got sober was a poet with a man bun (02:00) Kicking off Suicide Awareness Month — and why Jen is the perfect guest (05:00) Introducing Jen Butler: real talk writer, comedian, not afraid of the dark stuff (07:00) Volume turned up on life: what it's like to feel everything louder than everyone else (08:00) First thoughts of suicide at 14 — heartbreak, a Burger King parking lot, and no language for the pain (10:00) Cancer at 22, pain pills, and finding the blend that numbed the discomfort (11:00) First attempt at 23 — and why getting a clean bill of health was the trigger (13:00) Being a victim is cozy — Jen, Jamie, and Blake on the seductive comfort of that identity (15:00) Blake shares his own attempt at 17 and what was underneath it (17:00) Suicidality as binary thinking — the same switch that fires at a bad job or a rough relationship (21:00) The psych ward experience, and why leaving didn't change anything (25:00) Getting sober at 27 — and then three years of white-knuckling through breast implant illness (29:00) Writing letters to future Jen — the six-year origin story of Volume Control (34:00) How to use Volume Control: zero through 11, the feely-wheely, and a choose-your-own-adventure table of contents (37:00) Stay — the new book, the subtitle, and the publishing world's fear of the word suicide (44:00) Platforms, shadowbans, and why even the word gets blurred like a photo of a... you know (48:00) Veterans, police, and the career cost of asking for help (51:00) Why getting help is treated as proof you're a liability — and why that's backwards (55:00) Self-publishing, crowdfunding, and why Jen is done asking permission (57:00) In the time of this episode, 83 people will have died by suicide LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership Jen Butler's Website: https://www.jenbutlersays.com/ Jen Butler on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenbutlersays/ Volume Control by Jen Butler (buy the book): http://volumecontrolbook.com Free PDF from Stay — "Tricks for Rough Brain Days": sign up at https://jenbutlersays.kit.com/pdf-justfortoday 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 — https://988lifeline.org/ KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, Jen Butler, Volume Control, Stay, suicide awareness, suicide prevention, suicidality, mental health, men's mental health, addiction, recovery, sobriety, emotional regulation, trauma, shame, stigma, veterans mental health, self-publishing, holistic masculinity, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when the anger showing up in your classroom has nothing to do with your students — and everything to do with a kid who never felt heard? This week Jamie and Blake welcome Chris Winikka for a Top Plate episode — a live coaching call where a real member of the Three Percent community brings his actual 3% to the table. Chris who is in his 26th year of teaching high school computer science found the podcast while processing his own story, and somewhere along the way started noticing something he couldn't ignore: after decades of keeping his cool in the classroom, he was snapping at students. The anger was back — and it was louder than it should have been for what was actually happening. What follows is one of the most practical and quietly moving Top Plate episodes yet. Chris traces the anger back through anxious attachment, a childhood of being dismissed as "just Chris," the identity crisis that came when AI started threatening his sense of worth as a teacher, and the slow realization that what his students need most from him has nothing to do with what he knows about programming. If you're a teacher, a parent, or anyone who has ever let frustration loose on someone who didn't deserve the full weight of it — this one will find you. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why anger that feels disproportionate is almost always pointing to something deeper underneath How anxious attachment from childhood can show up decades later in the classroom — or anywhere you need to be received well What the AI identity crisis reveals about where we've been quietly sourcing our self-worth Why negativity bias means one bad student review encodes louder than ten great ones — and how your brain then lies to you about the ratio The difference between rescuing a dysregulated student and helping them navigate discomfort Why naming the process — not the content — is the most powerful tool in the room What it means to be a regulated nervous system in a room full of kids who may never encounter one CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: who am I if AI can just do this stuff? (02:00) What a Top Plate episode is — and why Chris chose to do it twice (04:00) The difference between coaching and therapy (07:00) Chris: 26 years of teaching, and suddenly snapping at students again (11:00) AI, falling enrollment, and the identity crisis underneath the anger (15:00) The SEEN Method and asking "what am I scared of?" (16:00) "It's just Chris" — tracing the anger back to anxious attachment in a family of five (18:00) You can't tame what you can't name (20:00) Apologizing well — and what a real apology sounds like vs. "I'm sorry you were offended" (23:00) Negativity bias, Rate My Teacher, and why one bad review drowns out ten good ones (28:00) How Chris is approaching the new school year differently (30:00) Not robbing students of the opportunity to struggle — and what learned helplessness actually looks like (33:00) Naming the process, not the content: Blake's tool for the classroom (40:00) When did you decide you weren't good at this? — the third grade math moment (41:00) What do you want future Chris to remember? (44:00) You might be the only regulated nervous system these kids encounter all day LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership Want to do your own Top Plate episode? Reach out at: https://threepercentco.com/ KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, Top Plate, live coaching, Chris Winikka, teacher mental health, anger, anxious attachment, AI identity crisis, negativity bias, classroom management, learned helplessness, self-worth, nervous system regulation, men's mental health, vulnerability, personal growth, holistic masculinity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What can Spider-Man teach us about masculinity, mental health, vulnerability, and authentic connection? In this special episode of the Three Percent Podcast, Jamie and Blake take a different approach: they react to the newest Spider-Man movie and unpack the deeper psychological and relational themes hiding underneath the superhero story. Through Peter Parker's loneliness, rage, isolation, self-acceptance, and relationships, they explore what happens when we don't have safe places to process our emotions—and what can happen when we finally allow ourselves to be known. They talk about the difference between fixing our emotions and actually engaging them, why high-performing people can still experience deep hopelessness, how vulnerability creates vulnerability in others, and why some of our deepest pain can only be repaired through connection. There are plenty of Spider-Man references, but ultimately this episode isn't really about superheroes. It's about what it means to stop hiding behind the mask and let ourselves be seen. ⚠️ Spoiler warning: This episode contains significant spoilers for the newest Spider-Man movie. Takeaways You can look like you have it all together and still be deeply hurting. Peter is literally Spider-Man—saving people and performing at a high level—while experiencing profound loneliness and hopelessness. Isolation turns pain into behavior. Peter experiences overwhelming emotions, isolates himself, works more, and eventually his unprocessed pain begins showing up as rage and destructive behavior. We don't just need to "fix" difficult emotions. Jamie and Blake explore what happens when we treat emotions as problems to eliminate rather than experiences that need to be understood and integrated. Connection is often the pathway to repair. The movie's most powerful moments aren't resolved through dominance or power, but through empathy, vulnerability, connection, and repair. Vulnerability creates the possibility of hope. Peter's willingness to risk connection—even when he could have walked away—becomes a powerful picture of how vulnerability can open the door to hope and authentic relationship. Chapters (00:00) — What's Up, Spider-Fans? (02:00) — What Spider-Man Has to Do With Men's Mental Health (05:00) — The Loneliness of Being Spider-Man (21:00) — Isolation, Rage & Self-Medicating (24:00) — "You're Too Much" (32:00) — The Power of a Corrective Emotional Experience (34:00) — Connection Over Dominance (38:00) — Vulnerability Breeds Vulnerability (40:00) — You Don't Have to Fix What You're Feeling (44:00) — Self-Acceptance & Being Loved for Who You Are (46:00) — Vulnerability, Hope & the Final Handshake (48:00) — What Spider-Man Can Teach Us About Connection Keywords Three Percent Podcast, men's mental health, Spider-Man, Marvel, masculinity, holistic masculinity, vulnerability, authentic connection, loneliness, depression, hopelessness, emotional health, emotional regulation, self-acceptance, self-compassion, shame, rage, isolation, male friendship, empathy, emotional connection, relationships, repair, corrective emotional experience, safe men, mental health, vulnerability and masculinity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if your Enneagram type isn't the definition of who you are, but simply a strategy you learned to survive? In this episode, Jamie and Blake sit down with therapist and Enneagram practitioner Katie Gustafson to explore the Enneagram as more than a personality test. Katie describes it as a “map of attention”—a way of understanding what we instinctively focus on, what we're trying to protect ourselves from, and what we may be missing as a result. This is ultimately a conversation about authenticity, grace, healing, and becoming more fully human. Takeaways Your Enneagram type is a strategy, not your identity. What you focus on can reveal what you're missing. Hurt isn't necessarily harm. Anger can be a signal rather than a problem. Your “small story” doesn't have to become your whole story. Resources / Links Katie Gustafsonhttps://katiegustafson.co/ Katie on Instagram — @katiegustafson.co Three Percent Co. https://threepercentco.com/ Chapters (00:00) — What is the Enneagram, really? (05:00) — The stories we create as children (07:00) — When your personality becomes a mask (10:00) — What your Enneagram type helps you miss (13:00) — The struggle of being “special” (19:00) — Your Enneagram strategy vs. God's grace (22:00) — What is the “ouchie”? (24:00) — Hurt vs. harm (30:00) — Nine different “normals” (35:00) — Why anger matters (40:00) — Anger, boundaries, and right action (43:00) — The nine Enneagram strategies (54:00) — When your strategy makes you lose yourself (58:00) — Learning what you need (1:02:00) — Your type is the small story (1:05:00) — Becoming the author of your life Keywords Enneagram, Enneagram types, personality, authenticity, emotional health, emotional healing, relationships, attachment, self-awareness, self-compassion, common humanity, anger, boundaries, hurt vs harm, abuse, trauma, grace, God, identity, personal growth, healing, emotional honesty, needs, vulnerability, masculinity, therapy, narrative therapy, protective strategies, survival strategies, integration, wholeness, spiritual formation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does healing actually look like — not in theory, but right now, in the middle of your real life? In part one, Jamie and Blake laid the foundation: the hidden rules they carried into healing, why they thought it meant fixing themselves, and how those expectations got in the way. Now they're back to answer the harder question — what does cultivating the garden actually look like for them today? Nearly a decade into their respective journeys through therapy, 12-step recovery, and story work, they're both currently going through it, and they're not pretending otherwise. If you're somewhere in the middle of your own healing and wondering why it doesn't look like what you thought it would, this one's for you. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why healing is an ongoing journey, not a destination — and the difference between healing and healed What self-abandonment actually means and how it quietly shows up in relationships Why what looks like trusting yourself and going to addiction is actually your intuition asking for care with a maladaptive solution How abuse systematically disorients your intuition — and what coming home to it looks like Why forgiveness is a process you begin, not a moment you complete Why holding onto resentment feels like power but functions like a prison What tending the garden actually looks like in the day-to-day CHAPTERS (00:00) Welcome back: part two of what did you expect healing to look like? (01:00) The vacation analogy — when expectations ruin what's actually beautiful (03:00) Recapping part one: what we thought healing was supposed to be (05:00) What healing looks like for Jamie right now — slowing down and story work (07:00) The gym analogy: why you can't bank mental health reps and coast (09:00) Blake: healing looks like coming home to and trusting my own intuition (10:00) How hyper-responsibility and self-abandonment are connected (11:00) Defining self-abandonment — leaving yourself there to suffer (14:00) The difference between your intuition and your adaptive child parts (16:00) Your desire for care is not the problem. Your solution might be. (18:00) The coming cultural revolt against therapy — and what it reveals about our desire for easy fixes (21:00) Maybe healing is learning how to suffer well (23:00) Forgiveness as a garden tool — Jamie on beginning the process with his abuser (25:00) Drinking poison and hoping he would die — and why Jamie finally put it down LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership Part 1 — What Did You Expect Healing to Look Like?: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5aOAfVihpYRNLfbf9GlpdX?si=3094581eb19e4ed2 KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, healing, what does healing look like, forgiveness, self-abandonment, intuition, trauma recovery, 12-step, therapy, men's mental health, resentment, shame, adaptive child, garden metaphor, suffering, holistic masculinity, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the most healing thing you can do in a season of pain isn't to fix it, process it, or even talk about it — but to make something? Jamie and Blake are joined by two of their favorite people — artist Scott Erickson and musician, poet, and coach Justin McRoberts — for a conversation that goes places none of them planned. These four have been in each other's orbit for a while now, and it shows. What starts as a question about art and the low seasons of life quickly becomes one of the most honest, unexpected, and quietly stunning conversations this show has hosted. Scott offers a definition of pain that stops the room: most pain is the death of future memories — the slow grief of realizing that the life you quietly expected to have isn't coming. Jamie opens up about being in a low himself right now, triggered by story work around eight years of abuse he's never fully shared, and what it's costing him to look at the mountain of those stories. Justin reframes the entire practice of making things — not as self-expression, but as a way to have a conversation with the parts of yourself you don't yet know how to talk to directly. And Scott, who spent a season this spring genuinely questioning whether he wanted to keep being an artist, closes the episode by inviting Jamie to throw himself the high school party he never got to have. Bring a casserole to the wake. You'll understand by the end. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why the practice of making something matters more than what you make Scott's definition of pain as the death of future memories — and why processing it enlarges you How art functions as an intermediary — a way to have a conversation with yourself about who you are and who you thought you'd be Why evil has an agenda and good asks a question, and what that means for what you create in uncertain times What "faith freely chosen" looks like when the world feels like it's falling apart How to give hospitality to the wounded parts of yourself through ritual, creativity, and community Why your artwork — whatever form it takes — is the casserole you bring to the shared wake CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: make a casserole and show up to the shared wake (02:00) Reuniting Scott and Justin — and why Jamie wanted both of them at the same time (04:00) Jamie names where he's at: a low season, triggered by story work (05:00) How the practice of art frees you to actually feel your feelings (07:00) Scott on the vocation crisis he had this spring — and how he found his way back (10:00) The Sad Avengers: building your team of artists, creatives, and truth-tellers (11:00) Evil has an agenda. Goodness asks a question. What are you going to make? (14:00) Phil Stutz, True and False Magic, and faith freely chosen in the face of uncertainty (19:00) Why the practice matters more than the product — and who you become while you're making it (22:00) Art as the casserole you bring to the cultural wake we're all attending (24:00) Pain as the death of future memories — Scott's definition that stops everything (27:00) Making playlists as liturgical practice — singing your way through the low (33:00) Jamie opens up about eight years of abuse and the deaths of future memories inside it (36:00) Art as an intermediary: having a conversation with the parts of yourself you can't talk to directly (41:00) Scott's invitation: throw yourself the party you never got to have (47:00) Landing the plane: be hospitable toward yourself LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership Scott Erickson's Website + upcoming shows: https://www.scottericksonart.com/ Justin McRoberts' Website: https://www.justinmcroberts.com/ In The Low — book by Scott Erickson & Justin McRoberts: https://www.justinmcroberts.com/in-the-low Phil Stutz, True and False Magic (referenced by Scott): https://www.amazon.com/True-False-Magic-Phil-Stutz/dp/ Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara (referenced by Scott): https://www.unreasonablehospitality.com/ KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, Scott Erickson, Justin McRoberts, In The Low, art and grief, creativity, pain, depression, low seasons, faith, making things, holistic masculinity, trauma, hospitality, men's mental health, death of future memories, Phil Stutz, community, healing, spiritual practice Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the thing running your life isn't a choice — it's just the way your brain learned to stay safe? Jamie and Blake are back with something a little different. Fresh off their annual retreat in Smithville, Tennessee, they're pulling back the curtain on a book they're writing — a field guide to the 3% — and using this episode to work through the big questions that anchor part one: the 3% that happened to you. No guest, no filter, just two friends and therapists getting into the neuroscience, the theology, and the deeply personal reality of why the past doesn't just stay in the past. This is one of the more honest episodes they've recorded. Jamie shares openly about building his identity around his story of abuse — not to heal, but to get the hit of care that felt like worth. Blake gets into the neurobiology of why your brain is literally wired to encode pain louder than joy. And together they make a case for why the most countercultural thing a man can do is bring his hidden 3% into the light of real relationship. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why a memory that lasted an afternoon can run someone's life for decades — and why that's not a choice How the lower brain processes emotion and threat 1,000 times faster than the thinking brain What negativity bias is and why your brain encodes painful experiences with more color and context than positive ones The difference between guilt and shame — and why the distinction changes how you recover Why shame feels solitary but is actually born in relationship — and why it heals the same way Why keeping something secret does more damage over time than the original wound The difference between naming what happened to you and building your identity around it CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: men's mental health, carnivore diet, never show feelings (02:00) Fresh off retreat: Jamie and Blake are writing a field guide (06:00) What the book is — three sections, field guide format, under 100 pages (08:00) Part one: the 3% that happened to you (09:00) Question 1: Why does a memory that lasted an afternoon run someone's life for decades? (11:00) The top brain and the bottom brain — why emotion outruns logic (17:00) Your body is still running from a tiger that left years ago (18:00) Negativity bias: why your brain encodes pain louder than joy (21:00) Question 2: What's the difference between guilt and shame? (24:00) Shame as identity vs. guilt as behavior — and why it matters (25:00) Shame feels solitary but happens first in relationship (28:00) What it means to have a "regulated other" — and what happens when you don't (32:00) Question 3: Why does keeping a secret do more damage than the thing itself? (37:00) Question 4: What's the difference between naming your story and building your identity around it? (38:00) Jamie gets honest about seeking applause instead of attachment LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership Brené Brown on guilt vs. shame (referenced): https://brenebrown.com/ KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, field guide, 3% book, shame, guilt, trauma, negativity bias, neuroscience, limbic system, nervous system, men's mental health, healing, attachment, regulated other, vulnerability, identity, personal growth, holistic masculinity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the reason your conversations keep going sideways has nothing to do with what you're saying — and everything to do with what you're actually feeling underneath it? In this episode, Jamie and Blake welcome their friend Morgan Burch — relationship coach and creator of the SEEN Method — for a conversation recorded in person that feels less like an interview and more like a masterclass you didn't know you needed. Morgan breaks down the four-letter framework she developed out of her own marriage to help people move from barbed-wire communication to actual vulnerability. And what's wild is how simple it is — and how hard it is to do, because confusion and complication have always felt safer than being honest. This one is funny, personal, and quietly devastating in the best way. Jamie and Blake both get caught in real time. Dan (Morgan's husband) makes multiple appearances from the couch. And by the end, you'll have a completely different relationship with your anger, your disappointment, and the expectations you've been silently holding over everyone around you. KEY TAKEAWAYS What the SEEN Method is and why it works where other communication frameworks fall flat The difference between showing someone the barbed wire around a feeling and showing them the actual feeling Why negative emotions like anger and disappointment aren't walls — they're neon signs pointing to something you didn't know you needed Why confusion and complication can be a hiding place — and how to stop using them The mirror game: why the most healing thing you can do for someone is stop trying to fix them Why you can't fully receive from others what you haven't first given to yourself What it means that "avoidance is a privilege" — and what it costs you CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: I wasn't good at controlling my emotions — I was good at hiding them (02:00) Introducing Morgan Burch and the SEEN Method (06:00) How Morgan's marriage to Dan became the proving ground for everything she teaches (09:00) "I was showing him the barbed wire around the feeling, not the feeling" (13:00) S — Scared: what am I actually afraid this means? (13:00) E — Embarrassed: the vulnerable feeling underneath the protective one (21:00) E — Expectations: the hopes you didn't know you had (23:00) Why disappointment is a neon sign, not a character flaw (31:00) N — Need: what do I need, and can I give it to myself first? (40:00) The mirror game: reflect, don't fix (45:00) Morgan's story: using the SEEN Method with her own dad (57:00) "Nothing to prove, always more to learn, no great thing is done alone" LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership Morgan Burch's Website + The Repair Lab: https://morganburch.com/ Morgan Burch on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodmorgan.therapy/ Eli Harwood (mentioned — "regulate before you educate"): https://www.eliharwood.com/ Dr. Becky Kennedy (mentioned — metabolizing emotions): https://www.drbeckyatgoodinside.com/ KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, Morgan Burch, SEEN Method, communication, relationships, vulnerability, emotional intelligence, repair lab, men's mental health, marriage, expectations, anger, conflict resolution, self-regulation, co-regulation, holistic masculinity, connection, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if healing doesn't look anything like you expected? For many of us, healing starts with an unspoken goal: get rid of the anxiety, stop feeling angry, break the habit, or finally become the version of ourselves we think everyone else wants. But what if those expectations are actually keeping us stuck? In this honest and unscripted conversation, Blake and Jamie explore the hidden "rules" they've carried about healing. They reflect on how they once believed healing meant becoming free from anger, discomfort, or unwanted behaviors, only to discover that true healing is far more about curiosity, compassion, and learning to feel at home in their own bodies. This episode isn't about offering quick answers. It's an invitation to examine the expectations you've inherited, question the rules you've been living by, and begin imagining a different kind of healing. Key Takeaways - Healing isn't becoming someone else—it's becoming more fully yourself. - The behaviors we want to eliminate often begin as survival strategies that deserve curiosity before judgment. - Repressed anger doesn't disappear; it often turns inward in ways we don't recognize. - Many of our expectations about healing come from unspoken family or cultural "rules," not necessarily what's true. - Compassion creates more lasting transformation than shame ever could. - Healing is an evolving process, not a finish line. Chapters (00:00) What did you expect healing to look like? (05:18) The hidden rules we carry into healing (11:42) Why we thought healing meant "fixing" ourselves (18:55) Anger isn't the enemy (26:40) When survival strategies become self-harm (34:10) Why pornography, addiction, and numbing behaviors deserve compassion, not just condemnation (40:00) Feeling at home in your own body (45:15) The rules you inherited about healing (48:00) Letting go of expectations and preparing for Part Two Resources & Links Three Percent Co.: https://threepercentco.com/ Keywords healing, emotional healing, therapy, mental health, men's mental health, anger, shame, self-compassion, vulnerability, pornography recovery, addiction recovery, trauma, emotional health, nervous system, relationships, masculinity, Blake Roberts, Jamie Haigh, Three Percent Podcast, healing journey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when two podcasts built around helping men flourish sit down together? In this special crossover episode, Jamie and Blake join Hunter Leavine, founder of The Captains Collective, for a conversation about masculinity, emotional health, vulnerability, and the healing power of community. Hunter shares his personal story of rebuilding after failure, the lessons he's learned from life on the water, and why nature often becomes the classroom where men finally begin telling the truth. Together they explore how outdoor adventure, emotional honesty, and meaningful brotherhood aren't competing paths—but complementary ones. Whether you're more comfortable on a fishing boat than in a therapist's office, or vice versa, this conversation builds a bridge between both worlds. Key Takeaways Healing begins where hiding ends. The things we keep locked away are often the very things keeping us disconnected from ourselves and others. Vulnerability creates permission. One honest conversation can transform an entire community. Nature has a way of restoring perspective. Time outdoors reminds us we're part of something much bigger than ourselves. The traits that once protected us don't have to define us forever. Growth isn't about becoming someone new—it's about healing what was wounded. Brotherhood is built through presence, not performance. Men don't need perfect answers—they need safe places to tell the truth. Resources & Links Learn more about Hunter Leavine & The Captains Collective:https://captainscollective.com/ Follow The Captains Collective:https://www.instagram.com/captainscollective/ Three Percent Podcast:https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Three Percent Community:https://threepercentco.com/membership Chapters (00:00) – Introducing the crossover episode (03:45) – Why the outdoor world and emotional health belong together (11:18) – Hunter's personal story of rebuilding after failure (20:04) – The hidden cost of emotional compartmentalization (31:22) – Why empathy disappears—and how it returns (46:40) – Mangroves, resilience, and learning to regrow (54:12) – Why vulnerability changes friendships forever (59:05) – What nature teaches us about perspective and humility (1:03:10) – Fly fishing, presence, and emotional healing (1:05:00) – Final encouragements and where to connect Keywords men's mental health, emotional health, vulnerability, masculinity, therapy, men's groups, brotherhood, friendship, healing, emotional resilience, shame, honesty, empathy, Hunter Leavine, The Captains Collective, outdoor adventure, fly fishing, nature, resilience, community, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, Christian mental health, personal growth, emotional healing, men's relationships Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and in this special episode, Blake and Jamie tackle a sobering reality: men are struggling, and many are doing it alone. From higher suicide rates and lower treatment utilization to fewer close friendships and cultural expectations around self-sufficiency, the statistics tell an alarming story. But this conversation goes deeper than the data. Blake and Jamie explore why so many men resist asking for help, why vulnerability often feels like failure, and how shame keeps men isolated from the very relationships that could help them heal. Along the way, they offer a compassionate reframe: what if your struggles aren't proof that you're failing? What if they're evidence that you've been surviving the best way you know how? This episode is an invitation to move beyond performance, embrace humility, and become safe enough with yourself that you can experience deeper connection with God, others, and your own story. Key Takeaways Many men see asking for help as an admission of failure rather than an act of courage. Awareness without self-compassion often becomes another reason to feel ashamed. Humility is the ability to compassionately see your limitations without interpreting them as deficiencies. Close friendships don't simply happen—they are built through intentional honesty and vulnerability. What looks like weakness may actually be a survival strategy that helped you make it this far. Men aren't failing as much as they are hurting—and that distinction changes everything. Episode Chapters (00:00) Why Men’s Mental Health Matters(06:15) The alarming statistics around men's mental health(15:00) Why men are less likely to seek help (18:00) The hidden barrier: lack of awareness (20:00) Self-sufficiency, isolation, and depression (23:00) Why therapy often feels like failure (27:00) A powerful definition of humility (31:00) The emotional "box of crayons" men never received (38:00) How the 3% helps men heal (40:00) Are men narcissistic—or ashamed? (47:00) Becoming the man you want to be (48:00) Men aren't failing. Men are hurting. Resources & Links Three Percent Co. Keir Gaines — Learned the Hard Way Podcast Geoff Holsclaw episode on attachment and the "landscapes of the soul" KJ Ramsey episode on tenderness, survival, and healing 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Mental Health America National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Keywords Men's Mental Health Awareness Month, men's mental health, masculinity, vulnerability, emotional health, shame, therapy, counseling, depression, male friendships, self-sufficiency, humility, emotional awareness, relationships, healing, mental wellness, Three Percent Podcast, men's emotional health, connection, authenticity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do some people struggle to trust God, while others keep Him at a distance? Why do our relationships with people often mirror our relationship with God? This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with author, pastor, and professor Geoff Holsclaw to explore the powerful connection between attachment theory and spiritual formation. Drawing from his book Landscapes of the Soul, Geoff explains how our early relational experiences shape the ways we pursue intimacy, handle anxiety, and experience God's presence. Together, they discuss the four attachment "landscapes"—the Desert, Jungle, War Zone, and Pasture—and how God invites each of us into deeper security, connection, and delight. Whether you're familiar with attachment theory or hearing about it for the first time, this conversation offers practical wisdom for understanding yourself, your relationships, and your faith journey. Key Takeaways Attachment styles are adaptive strategies developed in response to our environments—not permanent identities. The way we relate to God is often influenced by the way we've learned to relate to people. Secure attachment doesn't eliminate anxiety but helps us navigate it with confidence and connection. Spiritual maturity involves receiving God's delight rather than constantly striving for His approval. Healing begins with curiosity and compassion toward ourselves rather than shame or self-condemnation. About Geoff Holsclaw Geoff Holsclaw is a pastor, professor, spiritual director, and author focused on helping people experience deeper connection with God, themselves, and others. Through his work at Embodied Faith, Geoff explores the intersection of attachment science, spiritual formation, and Christian discipleship, helping people move toward greater wholeness and secure relationships. Resources & Links Embodied Faith Geoff Holsclaw on Instagram Book: Landscapes of the Soul Book: Does God Really Like Me? The Attachment Project Chapters (00:00) – Introduction to Geoff Holsclaw (03:45) – What attachment theory is (and isn't) (10:22) – The four attachment landscapes (18:35) – The Desert: Avoidant attachment explained (28:40) – The Jungle: Anxious attachment explained (38:15) – The War Zone: Disorganized attachment explained (49:50) – The Pasture: Secure attachment and flourishing (58:30) – What attachment teaches us about God(1:07:10) – God's delight versus God's approval(1:15:42) – Practical steps toward healing and security(1:22:30) – Final encouragements and closing thoughts Keywords attachment theory, Geoff Holsclaw, Landscapes of the Soul, spiritual formation, Christian spirituality, emotional health, secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, faith and psychology, relationships, healing, God's delight, Christian growth, mental health, Three Percent Podcast, embodied faith, spiritual maturity, emotional healing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if joy isn't waiting on the other side of your pain — but is actually woven through the middle of it? In this episode, Jamie and Blake sit down with KJ Ramsey — trauma-informed licensed professional counselor, author, and self-described "increasingly feral mystic utterly devoted to the joy of being alive." KJ's newest book, The Place Between Our Pains: A Memoir of What Joy Can Survive, grew out of a personal dare: to discover that joy is more trustworthy than trauma. What followed was a cross-country adventure to revisit the national parks of her childhood, a near-death health crisis, and one of the most honest accounts of living with chronic illness, complex trauma, and radical joy you'll ever encounter. KJ reframes everything about how we think about hope and joy — not as light, aspirational feelings, but as heavy things we were never meant to carry alone. She argues that joy isn't on the other side of grief, it emerges from within it, like mycelium threading silently beneath a forest floor, sustaining everything above it without anyone seeing. This conversation will move you. It may also wreck you in the best possible way. TAKEAWAYS Why hope and joy are too heavy to hold alone — and why that's actually good news How joy emerges from grief rather than existing on the other side of it What it means to "welcome grief expecting joy" Why stories are both sustenance and bridges — and why KJ wrote a memoir instead of a self-help book What tenderness toward your own pain actually looks like in practice Why people who suffer with chronic illness or trauma may be uniquely positioned to experience more joy How avoidance is a privilege — and why that doesn't make it useful CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: those who struggle are positioned for more joy(03:00) Introducing KJ Ramsey and The Place Between Our Pains(07:00) What KJ hopes listeners take away: hope and joy are team sports(15:00) Why hope is terrifying — and joy is not what we think it is(19:00) Joy as mycelium: the hidden web threading everything together(30:00) When your life tests the truth of the book you're writing(35:00) The difference between looking for the good and holding tenderness for the bad(39:00) Reading from the book: the Moon Face chapter(49:00) The book cover, the thread metaphor, and living through a tumor on her face(57:00) Avoidance is a privilege — and those who can't avoid pain may become the most joyful LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership KJ Ramsey's Website (book sample + links): https://www.kjramsey.com/ The Place Between Our Pains — buy the book: https://www.kjramsey.com/ KJ Ramsey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kjramsaywrites/ Scott Erickson (mentioned by Jamie, friend of the podcast): https://www.scotterickson.art/ David Gate's Substack review of the book (mentioned in episode): https://substack.com/@davidgate KEYWORDSThree Percent Podcast, KJ Ramsey, The Place Between Our Pains, joy and grief, chronic illness, complex trauma, hope, memoir, men's mental health, self-compassion, tenderness, mycelium, healing, connection, vulnerability, faith, wholeness, disability, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the reason you can't lose weight, recover from workouts, or stay consistent with your health has nothing to do with discipline — and everything to do with what's unresolved in your story? In this episode, Jamie and Blake sit down with their friend Conner Custodio — a holistic athletic coach who integrates faith, neuroscience, psychology, nutrition, and performance to help athletes regulate their nervous systems and get to the root of what's holding them back. Conner opens up about his own story: growing up in Bermuda in a chaotic household, being homeless at 15, attending six high schools in four years, and the car ride home that changed everything. From there the conversation moves into his work — and it hits whether you're a professional athlete or someone who just can't figure out why they keep falling off a workout routine. His core idea is deceptively simple: athletes attach to their sport because they've lost attachment where they really needed it. And until that gets addressed, no program, no diet, and no amount of discipline will fix what's actually broken. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why athletes are often the most disconnected from their own bodies How the discipline required in sport can create dysregulation everywhere else What hyper and hypoarousal are — and why staying in either state causes real damage Why your unresolved story may be keeping your body in a constant low-grade stress state How trauma affects nutrition, weight loss, and recovery in ways most coaches miss The difference between attaching to a sport and freely playing one Why addressing your story may be the single most important thing you can do for your health CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: the lie your nervous system is living by (05:00) Conner's story: Bermuda, six high schools, and being homeless at 15 (13:00) The car ride home that changed everything (18:00) Why athletes are often the most disconnected from their bodies (22:00) Why Conner says we were never designed for professional sports (24:00) Hyperarousal and hypoarousal explained (29:00) Attaching to sport because you've lost attachment where you needed it (39:00) The full cup: when your capacity is already maxed before the day begins (43:00) How trauma keeps your body in a low-grade workout state — and why you may need to eat more to lose weight (51:00) The lie your nervous system believes — and what Jesus says instead LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership Conner Custodio on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/connercustodio/ Conner's Website: https://connorcustodio.com KEYWORDSThree Percent Podcast, Conner Custodio, holistic athletic coaching, nervous system regulation, athlete mental health, attachment theory, trauma and the body, hyperarousal, hypoarousal, window of tolerance, nutrition for athletes, reverse dieting, men's mental health, faith and fitness, sports psychology, personal growth, healing, emotional health Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can AI help you understand yourself better? Absolutely. But can it replace real human connection? In this episode, Jamie and Blake continue the AI & Mental Health series by exploring both the benefits and limitations of using AI for emotional support. They acknowledge the real value AI can offer—helping people name emotions, identify patterns, and even feel safe enough to begin opening up. But they also draw an important line: self-awareness alone isn’t healing. Together, they unpack why anxiety, loneliness, and emotional pain are ultimately relational issues, not just intellectual problems to solve. AI may be able to give insight, language, and structure, but it cannot sit with you in your pain, notice your posture, respond to your tone, or offer the kind of embodied safety that changes people through relationship. This conversation is thoughtful, nuanced, and deeply compassionate toward those who have found comfort in AI while also gently inviting listeners toward something more: real vulnerability with real people. If you’ve ever found yourself endlessly processing with AI, stuck in your own head, or craving connection while still staying hidden, this episode will help you understand why awareness matters—but relationship is what actually transforms us. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why AI can help name emotions but cannot resolve relational pain How anxiety often keeps people trapped in rumination loops Why emotional healing requires more than intellectual understanding The difference between feeling “safe” with AI and being truly known by people How immediacy, tone, and body language shape healing relationships Why vulnerability becomes transformative when brought into community CHAPTERS (00:00) Continuing the AI & Mental Health conversation(03:00) The surprising benefits of AI for emotional awareness(06:00) Why naming emotions already helps calm the nervous system(10:00) When AI becomes another form of avoidance(14:00) Why anxiety thrives in isolation and rumination(18:00) The limits of intellectual solutions for emotional pain(21:00) What therapists notice that AI never can(27:00) Immediacy: posture, tone, and embodied presence(29:00) Why AI can’t solve a relational problem(31:00) Moving from consuming to cultivating growth(32:00) An invitation into deeper reflection in The Basement LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership AI & Mental Health Pt. 1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6INc2GgY9IR52t6I38OzbI?si=50451a6ba1844b8bAI & Mental Health Pt. 2: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5CROrb1aHEfuxZe2PO4j2f?si=3b17f5629cf34b74 KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, AI and mental health, anxiety, loneliness, emotional health, vulnerability, relationships, emotional awareness, rumination, nervous system, therapy, human connection, men’s mental health, healing, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do the people we love most have the ability to trigger us the fastest? In this conversation, Dr. Kelly Flanagan joins Jamie and Blake to explore what really happens when we move from connection into protection. Drawing from his new book, The Road Less Triggered, Kelly explains how our nervous systems react to perceived threats, why our hearts close in moments of conflict, and how we can learn to stay present instead of becoming defensive. Together, they unpack why anger is often a doorway into deeper emotions, how sadness gets blocked for many men, and why healing begins by asking not “What’s wrong with me?” but “What happened to me?” The conversation is practical, deeply compassionate, and full of memorable metaphors that make complex emotional dynamics easier to understand. If you’ve ever felt hijacked by your reactions, struggled to stay open in conflict, or wondered why small moments create such big responses, this episode offers a hopeful path toward greater calm, freedom, and connection. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why being triggered is normal—and doesn’t mean you’re broken How to move from protection mode back into connection mode Why anger often points to sadness underneath the surface What it means to restore your sense of choice in conflict How boundaries can be set with an open heart Why healing turns 30-day conflicts into 30-second recoveries CHAPTERS (00:00) Introducing Kelly Flanagan and The Road Less Triggered(05:00) Turning 30 days of conflict into 30 seconds(10:00) What it actually means to be triggered(14:00) Restoring your sense of choice(18:00) Why your nervous system thinks you’re in danger(22:00) Jamie’s story of trauma and non-consensual touch(27:00) Loneliness: feeling unseen, misunderstood, and unsupported(31:00) Calmness before connectedness(34:00) Anger as a doorway into your emotional life(38:00) The sadness underneath anger and anxiety(48:00) Openhearted boundaries(52:00) Final reflections and practical application LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Kelly Flanagan Book: The Road Less Triggered Three Percent Join The Basement (private community) KEYWORDS Kelly Flanagan, The Road Less Triggered, Three Percent Podcast, emotional triggers, relationships, marriage, anger, sadness, boundaries, vulnerability, men’s mental health, nervous system, trauma and healing, connection, emotional regulation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What actually makes someone feel safe? In this episode, Jamie and Blake slow down to explore one of the questions they’ve been asked most recently: what does “safety” actually mean—and how does it connect to the core idea behind Three Percent? Through personal stories, recovery experiences, parenting examples, and reflections on friendship, they unpack why vulnerability feels so difficult for most people. Not because something is wrong with us, but because many of us learned early on that honesty, emotion, or neediness didn’t feel safe. The result? We stay hidden, disconnected, and stuck carrying things alone. This conversation reframes vulnerability not as weakness, but as courage. It’s about learning how to recognize safe people, becoming safer people ourselves, and understanding that sharing your “3%” isn’t about oversharing—it’s about creating the kind of connection that leads to healing, freedom, and growth. If you’ve ever struggled to open up, feared being fully known, or wondered why emotional honesty feels so uncomfortable, this episode will help put language to it. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why vulnerability often feels unsafe long before adulthood How relational safety is built through attunement, repair, and consistency What “3%” actually means beyond the podcast name Why sharing your story creates deeper connection and healing The difference between emotional safety and emotional comfort Why staying hidden may feel protective—but ultimately costs more CHAPTERS (00:00) Looking for a new podcast co-host (02:00) Why this conversation about safety matters (04:00) How childhood shapes vulnerability in adulthood (07:00) Trauma, attachment, and feeling emotionally unsafe (10:00) What attunement actually means (12:00) Helping kids regulate emotions in real time (15:00) Why many adults never learned emotional safety (16:00) The deeper meaning behind “3%” (19:00) How to know if someone feels safe (21:00) The fly fishing story and relational vulnerability (24:00) Predictability, repair, and emotional trust (27:00) What being safe for someone else actually looks like (29:00) Why accountability and compassion must coexist (33:00) “Vulnerability will always cost you something” (35:00) Why staying hidden costs even more (37:00) An invitation into deeper connection in The Basement LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + monthly Q&A): https://threepercentco.com/membership KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, vulnerability, emotional safety, attachment, trauma and healing, men’s mental health, relationships, emotional regulation, authenticity, connection, shame, healing, friendship, accountability, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What actually makes a man feel safe to others? In this conversation, Amy Alexander—therapist, co-founder of The Refuge Center, and someone who has spent decades working with survivors of trauma and abuse—offers a perspective most men rarely hear. Not from theory, but from real stories of women navigating fear, harm, and healing. Together, they explore the dynamics of power and control that often go unnoticed, and how even subtle patterns—people-pleasing, image management, avoidance, or lack of self-awareness—can erode safety in relationships over time. But this isn’t about shame or blame. It’s an invitation. A chance for men to listen, learn, and grow—not from defensiveness, but from humility. Amy names three powerful markers of a safe man: transparency, accountability, and a willingness to sacrifice time and energy for the good of others. If you’ve ever wondered what healthy masculinity actually looks like in practice—or how to become someone others feel safe with—this conversation offers clarity, honesty, and a path forward. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why safety isn’t defined by intention—but by how others experience you How subtle power dynamics can exist even without obvious abuse Why transparency builds trust faster than perfection ever could The difference between accountability and shame-dumping How unresolved patterns can quietly shape your relationships Why sacrificing time and energy is essential to becoming a safe partner CHAPTERS (00:00) The story behind The Refuge Center (04:00) Making therapy affordable, excellent, and accessible (08:00) A vision shaped by real human need (12:00) Working with survivors of domestic violence (16:00) Understanding power and control dynamics (20:00) How identity slowly erodes in unsafe relationships (23:00) The cycle of abuse explained (26:00) Why people stay—and why it’s more complex than you think (29:00) What healthy masculinity actually requires (31:00) Why transparency creates safety (36:00) The role of accountability (and what it’s not) (42:00) How shame-dumping damages relationships (45:00) Becoming the man your younger self needed (47:00) Why sacrifice matters more than you think (51:00) Practical examples of showing up in everyday life (56:00) How to support The Refuge Center LINKS & RESOURCES - The Refuge Center: https://refugecenter.org/ - Amy Alexander Bio: https://refugecenter.org/staff/amy-alexander/ - Support The Refuge Center (Faith Builders): https://refugecenter.org/ - Power and Control Wheel: https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/ - Join The Basement (private Q&A + community): https://threepercentco.com/membership KEYWORDS Amy Alexander, Refuge Center, Three Percent Podcast, healthy masculinity, emotional safety, relationships, trauma and healing, domestic violence, power and control, accountability, vulnerability, men’s mental health, transparency, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why does anger feel like the only emotion you can access? In part two of the AI & Mental Health series, the guys take on one of the most common questions men are asking right now: “Why am I always angry?” It’s a question that often carries shame—but what if anger isn’t the problem? Drawing from their work as therapists (and their own stories), they explore how anger often becomes the default emotion—not because it’s the only thing you feel, but because it’s the safest one to express. Underneath it is usually something more vulnerable: sadness, fear, shame, or even unmet needs that have gone unnoticed for years. This conversation reframes anger as a signal, not a failure. It’s an invitation to slow down, get curious, and begin connecting with what’s really happening beneath the surface—so you can move from reaction to awareness, and ultimately, to real change. If you’ve ever felt stuck in frustration, quick to react, or disconnected from your emotions, this episode will help you understand why—and what to do next. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why anger often masks more vulnerable emotions like sadness or fear How anger creates the illusion of control when you feel powerless Why many men only learned how to express one emotion—and it’s anger How unprocessed emotions build up and eventually come out sideways Why your anger is a signal pointing to something deeper—not a personal failure A practical framework to move from reaction to awareness (pause, pray, process, express) CHAPTERS (00:00) Why Jamie first went to therapy: numb or angry(02:00) The AI & Mental Health series explained(04:30) The #1 question: “Why am I always angry?”(08:00) Anger as the illusion of control(10:30) What anger is actually protecting(12:30) When anger is your only emotional outlet(14:00) Why more men are asking mental health questions(16:00) Anger as a signal, not a problem(18:00) A real-life example of anger masking sadness(21:00) The “anger iceberg” explained(23:00) Why compassion changes everything(25:00) The impact of culture, media, and overwhelm(27:00) Why control isn’t the goal—connection is(29:00) Practicing self-compassion in real time(31:00) Final thoughts + invitation to The Basement LINKS & RESOURCES Join The Basement (private Q&A + community): https://threepercentco.com/membership Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ AI & Mental Health Pt. 1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6INc2GgY9IR52t6I38OzbI?si=7bbd8ce1455d4c19 KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, AI and mental health, anger, men’s mental health, emotional awareness, vulnerability, shame, emotional regulation, relationships, masculinity, trauma and healing, self-compassion, anxiety, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why does friendship feel easier when you’re young—and harder when you need it most? In this crossover episode with Dadville, the guys from Three Percent sit down with Dave Barnes and Jon McLaughlin for an honest conversation about friendship, fatherhood, and the quiet loneliness many men carry. From the outside, it can look like life is full—marriage, kids, work—but underneath, something is missing. Together, they explore why relationships often drift in adulthood, how marriage and parenting subtly reshape your friendships, and why most men aren’t lacking relationships—they’re lacking depth. This episode is both lighthearted and deeply reflective. It’s about the courage to go beyond surface-level conversations, the intentionality required to build meaningful friendships, and the small but powerful step of sharing your “3%”—the part of your story you usually keep hidden. If you’ve ever felt disconnected, even in a full life, this conversation will help you name it—and take a step toward something deeper. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why most adult loneliness isn’t about quantity of friends—but depth of connection How marriage and kids naturally shift and strain friendships over time Why vulnerability is the fastest path to meaningful connection The hidden cost of staying at surface-level conversations How intentionality replaces proximity in adult friendships Why sharing your “3%” creates permission for others to do the same CHAPTERS (00:00) Introducing the crossover: Three Percent x Dadville(03:00) The origin of Dadville and longtime friendship(08:00) The story behind the “3%” concept(14:00) Why we hold back the most important parts of ourselves(18:00) Friendship in your 30s and 40s: what changes(21:00) Why proximity disappears—and intentionality must replace it(25:00) The loneliness most men don’t talk about(28:00) Why friendships don’t just “happen” anymore(31:00) Are women actually better at friendship?(33:00) How marriage and kids reshape your relationships(40:00) What it takes to build meaningful friendships as a dad(43:00) A real story of vulnerability changing everything(47:00) Why sharing your struggles brings connection, not rejection(52:00) Modeling vulnerability as a parent(56:00) The long-term impact of repair and honesty LINKS & RESOURCES Dadville Podcast: https://thatsoundsfunnetwork.com/podcasts/dadville/ Join The Basement ⁠https://threepercentco.com/membership⁠⁠ Three Percent Website – ⁠⁠https://threepercentco.com/⁠⁠ Follow Three Percent on IG: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/⁠⁠ KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, Dadville, Dave Barnes, Jon McLaughlin, male friendship, fatherhood, loneliness, vulnerability, relationships, emotional health, masculinity, connection, parenting, community, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the way you respond to your kids has less to do with them—and more to do with what’s unresolved in you? In this conversation, Eli Harwood (aka “Attachment Nerd”) helps us see how our childhood experiences quietly shape the way we parent, relate, and react. From parentification and emotional neglect to people-pleasing and control, she unpacks how the patterns we learned early on don’t just disappear—they show up in our homes today. But this isn’t about becoming a perfect parent. It’s about becoming an aware one. Eli shares a hopeful vision of what it looks like to acknowledge your story, take responsibility for your growth, and create relationships where your kids feel safe, seen, and supported—even when you get it wrong. If you’re a parent, want to be a parent, or are still working through your own story, this episode will help you understand what’s really going on beneath your reactions—and how to start showing up differently. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why your reactions as a parent often come from unresolved parts of your own story The difference between a “right-side up” and “upside-down” parent-child relationship How parentification shapes your ability to give and receive care Why secure parenting isn’t about perfection—but repair and consistency What your emotional triggers with your kids are trying to show you How doing your own work creates safety for your children CHAPTERS (00:00) Why no parent is perfect(02:00) Introducing Eli Harwood (“Attachment Nerd”)(04:00) Growing up in a family shaped by trauma(08:30) A mother who chose to break the cycle(12:00) Why attachment changes everything in therapy(16:00) What is a parentified child?(20:00) “I don’t emotionally rely—I emotionally supply”(24:00) Why receiving care is so hard(28:00) How attachment patterns show up in marriage(32:00) What your kids are really asking for(36:00) Why parenting triggers your own unresolved story(38:00) Inside Eli’s new book and how to use it(41:00) Why your kids will still have “stuff” (and that’s okay)(43:00) Where to find Eli + final thoughts LINKS & RESOURCES Eli Harwood Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/ Eli’s Book: How to Deal with Your ____ So Your Kids Don't Have to https://www.amazon.com/Deal-Your-____-Kids-Dont/dp/1632175967 Follow Eli on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/?hl=en Join The Basement https://threepercentco.com/membership⁠ Three Percent Website – ⁠https://threepercentco.com/⁠ Follow Three Percent on IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/⁠ KEYWORDS Eli Harwood, Attachment Nerd, Three Percent Podcast, attachment theory, parenting, emotional health, trauma and healing, parentification, relationships, masculinity, vulnerability, family systems, childhood wounds, secure attachment, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join The Basement – ⁠https://threepercentco.com/membership⁠ Three Percent Website – ⁠https://threepercentco.com/ ⁠Follow Three Percent on IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/⁠ Why do certain patterns in your life keep repeating—no matter how much you try to move forward? In this conversation, Dan Allender and Rachel Clinton Chen invite us into the deeper work of understanding our stories. Not as something to “get over,” but as something that continues to shape how we relate to ourselves, God, and others. Through powerful personal examples and honest reflection, they explore how early experiences—especially moments of shame, neglect, or harm—form the internal narratives we still live by today. This conversation moves beyond surface-level self-awareness into something more embodied. It’s about learning how to revisit your story with compassion, allowing old interpretations to be challenged, and discovering both the brokenness and beauty that have been formed in you. Along the way, they name the cost of avoiding your story—and the freedom that comes when you finally begin to engage it. If you’ve ever wondered why certain reactions feel automatic, why vulnerability feels unsafe, or why you keep chasing validation that never quite satisfies—this episode offers a way forward. Not quick fixes, but a deeper invitation into healing, connection, and becoming who you were meant to be. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why your past isn’t “over”—it’s still shaping how you live today How early shame and unmet needs form the patterns you repeat Why vulnerability feels unsafe (and where that story began) What it means to hold both your brokenness and your beauty How revisiting your story with others creates real change Why healing isn’t a one-time fix—but a lifelong process of attention and compassion CHAPTERS (00:00) Can you bear your beauty—and your brokenness (01:00) Introducing Dan Allender and Rachel Clinton Chen (05:30) Why this season is about story (06:30) Why engaging your story actually matters (09:30) How childhood shapes your capacity for vulnerability (12:00) The story that still lives in your body (14:30) Why story work is never “finished” (18:30) What story work actually is (in simple terms) (22:00) Attachment, interpretation, and survival (30:00) Why men avoid their stories (33:00) Brokenness, beauty, and the tension we avoid (39:00) When strength becomes a coping mechanism (41:00) A real-time example of story playing out (48:30) Where do you start if this feels overwhelming? (52:00) The cost—and gift—of doing this work CONNECT WITH THE ALLENDER CENTER Website: https://theallendercenter.org/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allendercenter/ Podcast: The Allender Center Podcast KEYWORDS Dan Allender, Rachel Clinton Chen, Three Percent Podcast, emotional health, men’s mental health, story work, trauma and healing, attachment, vulnerability, shame, masculinity, relationships, spiritual formation, inner critic, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join The Basement – ⁠https://threepercentco.com/membership⁠Three Percent Website – ⁠https://threepercentco.com/⁠Follow Three Percent on IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/⁠ What happens when the version of Jesus you believe in always agrees with you? In this conversation, Jon Guerra shares the quiet but unsettling realization that his faith had become too comfortable—too aligned with his own preferences, frustrations, and perspectives. What followed wasn’t a crisis, but a slow return. A reintroduction to the real Jesus through the Gospels. One who comforts, but also confronts. One who invites, but also challenges. Together, they explore what it means to rediscover Christ in the middle of ordinary life—parenting, marriage, stress, and even subtle pride. This conversation moves beyond surface-level faith into something deeper: surrender, attention, and the kind of honesty that leads to freedom. If you’ve ever felt disillusioned with faith, unsure how to reconnect with God, or tired of a version of Christianity that feels flat or performative, this episode offers a different path—one that is slower, truer, and ultimately more alive. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why a “comfortable” version of Jesus might be holding you back How subtle pride and self-justification can shape your faith What it looks like to encounter a Jesus who both comforts and challenges Why surrender isn’t losing your life—but finding it How everyday stress (kids, work, marriage) becomes the place of transformation CHAPTERS (00:00) What is the “3%”?(02:00) Introducing Jon Guerra and his music(05:30) The heart behind the Jesus album(07:00) When Jesus becomes a version of yourself(10:00) The challenge of the real Jesus (rich young ruler)(13:30) Faith in the middle of ordinary life stress(18:30) Where is God in parenting, pressure, and fatigue?(22:00) Surrender, the cross, and where life is actually found(30:30) What does it mean that “Christ is the treasure”?(40:00) Experiencing God in the places you avoid(45:30) Why vulnerability and relationship lead to healing(49:00) Gethsemane: grief, surrender, and light(53:00) Seeing clearly: attention, presence, and everyday faith(56:00) Where to find Jon + closing thoughts LINKS & RESOURCES Jon Guerra Website: https://www.jonguerramusic.com/ The Jesus Album: https://open.spotify.com/album/4jMmHLhkvQToncD10srcty?si=M8Ikc0TSQ_i-Mcw4qfHfGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamjonguerra KEYWORDS Jon Guerra, Three Percent Podcast, Christian music, emotional health, faith and doubt, masculinity, vulnerability, spiritual formation, inner life, surrender, trauma and healing, relationships, parenting stress, proximity to God, honest faith Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join The Basement – https://threepercentco.com/membership Three Percent Website – https://threepercentco.com/ Follow Three Percent on IG: https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/ What happens when artificial intelligence meets emotional health? In this episode, Jamie and Blake begin a new recurring series exploring the intersection of AI and mental health. Rather than offering quick answers or bold predictions, this conversation slows things down and asks better questions. They reflect on how AI is already shaping the way people process emotions, seek support, and understand themselves. From using AI as a sounding board to the risks of outsourcing vulnerability, they explore both the opportunities and the tensions this technology introduces. Takeaways AI can be a helpful tool for reflection—but it cannot replace real human connection There is a growing temptation to process emotions in isolation rather than in relationship Convenience can quietly shape our emotional habits in ways we don’t always notice The goal is not to reject AI, but to use it wisely and within healthy limits Vulnerability still requires risk—and that risk is essential for deep connection Resources: AI APA Research Article The Scatter Joy Project Chapters (00:00) Introduction to the AI & Mental Health Series (03:45) Why this conversation matters right now (08:20) How people are already using AI for emotional processing (14:10) The benefits of AI as a reflective tool (20:35) The risks of replacing human connection (27:50) Isolation, convenience, and emotional habits (34:15) Where AI falls short in empathy and presence (41:05) Using AI without losing your humanity (48:30) Final thoughts and what’s ahead in the series Keywords AI and mental health, emotional health, vulnerability, human connection, self-awareness, technology and relationships, therapy tools, emotional processing, isolation, personal growth, Three Percent Podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join The Basement – https://threepercentco.com/membership Three Percent Website – https://threepercentco.com/ Follow Three Percent on IG: https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/ In this episode, Blake and Jamie sit down with poet, speaker, and author Tanner Olson for a conversation about suffering, hope, creativity, and the honest work of getting through difficult seasons. Tanner shares the heart behind his new book Getting Through What You’re Going Through, a collection of poems, essays, and reflections meant to be a hopeful companion for people navigating life’s hardest moments. Rather than offering easy answers or quick fixes, Tanner explores the power of naming pain honestly and sitting with others in their suffering. The conversation moves through humor, storytelling, and deeply personal moments—from Tanner’s health scare and the lifestyle changes it forced him to make, to the ways stress, pride, and striving can quietly shape our lives. Along the way, the group reflects on why empathy is often more powerful than advice, why information alone doesn’t lead to healing, and how poetry can give language to emotions people struggle to express. Tanner’s writing invites readers to slow down, acknowledge what they’re going through, and trust that hope can still exist in the middle of uncertainty. This episode is a reminder that sometimes the most meaningful thing we can offer each other is not a solution—but presence. Takeaways Poetry can help people name emotions they struggle to articulate. Sometimes the most helpful response to suffering is simply saying, “I hate this for you.” Healing rarely comes from information alone—it requires presence, processing, and time. Rest and lifestyle changes can be brave choices, even when they feel difficult. Creativity often grows from walking through real life experiences. Resources Check out more from Tanner Olson: New Book: Getting Through What You're Going Through: Notes and Poems for Hoping and Becoming https://amzn.to/4usjMqj All The Things I Say to God: Learning to Pray Anytime, Anywhere https://amzn.to/3P08GJ5 Website – https://www.writtentospeak.com/ Substack: https://substack.com/@tannerolson Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/writtentospeak/ Learn more about Three Percent:www.threepercentco.com Chapters (00:00) Welcome to the Episode (02:00) Introducing Tanner Olson (04:30) Poetry, Humor, and Writing About Real Life (06:00) The Heart Behind Getting Through What You’re Going Through (10:30) The Power of Words During Difficult Seasons (15:30) Why Empathy Matters More Than Easy Answers (20:30) When People Try to Fix Your Pain (26:30) The Limits of Self-Awareness and Information (33:00) Why This Was the Book Tanner Needed to Write (36:00) A Health Scare and the Wake-Up Call of Stress (40:30) Lifestyle Changes and Letting Go of Control (47:00) Childhood, Wonder, and Finding Peace Again (50:00) Humor, Poetry, and Being Fully Yourself (58:30) Hope in the Middle of Hard Things (01:01:00) Where to Find Tanner and His Work Keywords Three Percent podcast, Tanner Olson, poetry and faith, emotional health, Christian spirituality, healing and suffering, personal growth, stress and burnout, empathy, vulnerability, faith and creativity, hope in hard seasons, mental health, trusting God, spiritual formation, processing emotions, poetry and healing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join The Basement – https://threepercentco.com/membership Three Percent Website – https://threepercentco.com/ Follow Three Percent on IG: https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/ Season 2 of Three Percent is officially underway. In this episode, Blake Roberts and Jamie Haigh pull back the curtain on what’s ahead for the podcast this year. After releasing nearly 40 episodes in their first season, they’re returning with a clearer structure, deeper conversations, and a brand-new way for listeners to engage beyond just listening. They share the vision for Season 2, including a new rhythm of guest conversations, therapist-led discussions, and a new series where they respond to the most common mental health questions people ask AI. Blake and Jamie also reflect on the tension of creating meaningful resources while inviting people to support the work financially—and why they believe real transformation happens when people move beyond information and into vulnerability and practice. If Season 1 was about building the podcast, Season 2 is about building a community. Takeaways Season 2 introduces a new structure with interviews, host conversations, and question-based episodes. The Basement community was created for people who want to engage their emotional lives more intentionally. Vulnerability and support are necessary parts of meaningful personal growth. Everyone is recovering from something, and community helps us move toward healing. What Is “The Basement”? The Basement is the new private Three Percent community. Inside the community, members will find: Monthly deep-dive Q&A episodes Opportunities to submit questions for Blake and Jamie Guided reflections and practical tools Connection with others who are doing the work of emotional growth Membership helps support the podcast while creating a space where listeners can move beyond passive consumption into active engagement. Join The Basement – https://threepercentco.com/membership Chapters (00:00) Welcome to Season 2 (01:50) Looking Back at Season 1 (04:10) The New Structure for Season 2 Episodes (07:10) The AI Mental Health Question Series (10:30) The Benefits and Limits of AI in Emotional Growth (14:00) Understanding “Top Plate” Episodes (16:30) Introducing The Basement Community (19:20) Why It’s Called “The Basement” (22:00) Moving from Consumption to Engagement (24:30) The Vulnerability of Asking for Support (26:30) What They Hope This Community Becomes (28:30) Progress, Not Perfection (30:00) Final Invitation to Join Keywords Three Percent podcast, men’s mental health, emotional health, masculinity, vulnerability, personal growth, emotional awareness, therapy conversations, faith and psychology, AI mental health questions, community building, recovery, emotional honesty, The Basement community, relationships, spiritual formation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for our email list: ⁠https://three-percent-co.kit.com/4c81475a7e Learn more about Three Percent: www.threepercentco.com Instagram – @threepercent.co We’re back. In this short (but not that short) teaser episode, Blake and Jamie welcome listeners into Season 2 of Three Percent, reflecting on the break, naming the realities of life with young kids, and sharing what’s been happening behind the scenes while the podcast feed was quiet. They talk about why they paused, what they’ve been building during the break, and why Season 2 marks a shift from just a podcast to a deeper, more intentional community. You’ll hear about the official Season 2 launch date, the upcoming private community, what listeners can expect this year, and how you can stay connected as Three Percent grows beyond weekly episodes. This episode is an invitation: to reconnect, to participate, and to keep showing up together. Takeaways Season 2 is about going beyond the podcast and into deeper community. Life, kids, and capacity matter—and choosing family is part of integrity. Listener engagement (reviews, comments, emails) has shaped the direction of the show. Season 2 launches Monday, March 2. You are invited to take the next step with us. Chapters 00:00 Welcome Back & The Reality of Life with Kids 01:00 What Three Percent Is (and Why It Exists) 02:00 Why This Is a Teaser Episode 03:00 The Intentional Break: Holidays, Family, and Planning 04:30 Apology for the Disappearance 06:00 The Boundaries Bonus Episode (Still Coming) 07:30 Season 2 Vision & Guest Overflow 09:00 Going Beyond the Podcast 10:30 Introducing the Private Community 12:00 Why We’re Choosing Community Over Ads 14:00 Why the Email List Matters 15:30 Spotify Growth & New Listeners 17:00 Favorite Episodes from Season 1 19:00 Topics Coming in Season 2 21:00 How You Can Shape the Show 22:30 Gratitude, Reviews, and What’s Next 23:30 Final Invitation & Closing Words Important Links & Calls to Action Join the Three Percent Email List: https://three-percent-co.kit.com/4c81475a7e Favorites from Season 1 The Top Plate Coaching Call The Friendship Episode Scott Erickson Conversation Dr. Andrew Bauman Episode Send Topic Ideas, Stories, or Boundary Fails hello@threepercentco.com Keywords Three Percent, Season 2, podcast teaser, men’s mental health, emotional honesty, community, masculinity, therapy, boundaries, healing, vulnerability, spiritual formation, identity, relationships, growth, reflection Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this end-of-year episode, Blake and Jamie look back on ten months of building the Three Percent community—30,000+ streams, 75 countries, countless vulnerable conversations, and a growing team that has made this project possible. This episode is equal parts celebration, reflection, honest storytelling, and heartfelt gratitude. Blake and Jamie peel back the curtain on what it’s actually been like behind the scenes: the long mornings, the late nights, raising little kids, navigating personal hardships, and still choosing to show up every week because this work matters. They share the origins of Three Percent, the goals they set at the beginning of the year, the ones they’ve already surpassed, and the dreams they’re chasing next. You’ll also hear about upcoming retreats, new offerings for 2026, how they think about honesty and boundaries, and a hilarious holiday prompt you can participate in. This episode is a love letter to the community that has formed around this podcast. Thank you for listening, sharing, reviewing, and showing up. You’ve helped build something truly meaningful. Takeaways 30,000+ streams in the first year is beyond what Blake and Jamie expected. The community is the reason this show has grown—your reviews, shares, and messages matter. Behind the scenes, they’ve navigated personal pain, exhaustion, and spiritual tension while continuing to create. Creative energy often shows up late in the process—after structure and safety are present. This year revealed the deep need for honest, sturdy, compassionate men’s spaces, A growing team (Jackson & Derek!) has made the show sustainable. Big dreams are underway: retreats, a men’s framework for churches, expanded offerings, and a permanent studio. Vulnerability must be held within boundaries—honesty can be public, personal, or private. Resources & Mentions Episode: What To Do With Your Inner Critic with Aundi Kolber Episode: Top Plate Coaching Call with Dustin Duvall Free Download: Pause, Pray, Process Method (via email list) Email your holiday story: hello@threepercentco.com Chapters (00:00) How This Podcast Has Shaped Us (01:00) Welcome to the End-of-Year Celebration (02:00) Behind-the-Scenes Banter & Recording Energy (05:30) Being Dads, Therapists, & Podcast Hosts (07:00) How the Show Has Grown Because of You (13:00) The Impact of Listener Reviews & Messages (15:00) Revisiting the Original 2024 Goals (17:00) Hitting 30,000 Streams (Triple the Goal!) (18:30) Why the Mission Matters: Men, Honesty & Healing (20:00) On Vulnerability, Boundaries & Faith (23:00) Building a Team: Bringing on Jackson & Derek (25:00) Showing Up Even in Hard Seasons (27:00) Parenting, Fatigue & Still Choosing This Work (29:00) Future Dreams: Merch, Retreats, & Collaborations (42:00) What Topics You Want in Season Two (44:00) Final Reflections & Gratitude (45:00) The New Closing Line: Keep Showing Up Keywords Three Percent, end of year episode, reflection, men’s mental health, emotional honesty, vulnerability, healing, spiritual formation, community, gratitude, burnout, creativity, parenting, therapy, masculinity, retreats, personal growth, identity, boundaries, integrity, resilience Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Blake and Jamie invite listeners into a real-time Top Plate coaching call with 3% community member Dustin Duvall. In this session, Dustin brings his honest history about stress, being a good husband, overwhelm, and the pressure to carry everything at once. Together they unpack what a Top Plate actually is—the one thing in your life that requires the most attention—and how naming it can radically shift the way you show up for your family, your work, and yourself. This is a practical and deeply human episode about burnout, boundaries, internal narratives, and the courage it takes to ask for help. If you’re feeling stretched thin or unsure how to keep all the plates spinning, this conversation offers clarity, hope, and next steps. Takeaways Your “Top Plate” is the area of life demanding the most attention—and naming it brings relief. Burnout isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s your body telling the truth. You can’t lead others well if you’re constantly abandoning yourself. Most overwhelm comes from unspoken expectations and silent pressure. Compassion and honesty are more effective motivators than shame. You don’t need to fix everything at once; you need to take the next right step. Chapters (00:00) Welcome & What a Top Plate Coaching Call Is (03:40) Dustin’s Story & Current Stress Points (07:15) Identifying the Real Top Plate (11:50) Why Overwhelm Feels Like Failure (15:00) The Emotional Cost of Carrying Everything (18:30) When Performance Becomes Your Identity (22:00) Listening to Your Body’s “Alarm System” (26:40) Blake’s Coaching: Finding the Pressure Valve (30:10) What Happens When You Name the Real Issue (34:20) Dustin’s Breakthrough: Permission to Slow Down (38:00) Boundaries, Leadership, and Family Health (42:00) Choosing What Matters Most Right Now (46:00) The First Next Step (49:30) Final Coaching Reflections Keywords Top Plate, coaching, emotional health, burnout, overwhelm, stress, leadership, boundaries, self-awareness, nervous system, family, identity, masculinity, spiritual formation, Three Percent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with bestselling author and therapist Aundi Kolber for a powerful conversation about trauma, compassion, the inner critic, and learning to “try softer.” Aundi shares openly about growing up in an abusive home, how her fierce inner critic helped her survive, and why healing doesn’t come through trying harder—but through a compassionate, regulated relationship with ourselves and others. They unpack attachment, window of tolerance, neurobiology, and why men especially struggle to let go of performance and self-hatred. This is an episode about shifting from survival mode to connection. About befriending the parts of us we’ve pushed away. And about discovering that compassion is not weakness—it’s strength that doesn’t fold. Takeaways Your inner critic was born for a reason—it helped you survive. Healing happens when we can be with our pain, not in our pain. Compassion is both tender and fierce: soft toward wounds, strong toward safety. Our window of tolerance expands in the presence of regulated, safe relationships. You don’t have to tell everyone everything—honesty requires discernment and safety. Trying Softer is not giving up; it’s choosing connection over self-punishment. We can reassign our inner critic’s job—from attacking us to discerning what’s good for us. Chapters (00:00) Aundi’s Story & Meeting the Inner Critic(04:00) Growing Up in Abuse: The Origin of Hyper-Vigilance(08:00) Trauma, Sensitivity & Why Our Parts Form(12:00) Reframing the Inner Critic: A Protector, Not an Enemy(15:00) Attachment, Performance & Getting Needs Met(18:00) How the Body Shrinks its Window of Tolerance(21:00) What Regulation Really Means(24:00) Why Safe Relationships Expand Our Capacity(27:00) Vulnerability, Men’s Groups & Discernment(30:00) Numbing, Shutdown & Forced Dorsal States(33:00) Befriending the Pain We Learned to Fear(37:00) What It Means to “Try Softer”(40:00) Compassion That Doesn’t Fold(45:00) Letting Fierce Compassion Set Boundaries(48:00) Shame, “Still,” and Resentment Toward Our Parts(52:00) Trying Softer as a Lifelong Posture(55:00) The Surprises of Aundi’s Work(58:00) What Gives Aundi Hope(01:00:00) Loaves & Fishes: Being a Steward of Pain(01:02:00) What’s Next for Aundi Resources Try Softer — Aundi Kolber Strong Like Water — Aundi KolberTake What You Need — Aundi Kolber Keywords Aundi Kolber, Try Softer, Strong Like Water, trauma recovery, inner critic, self-compassion, window of tolerance, attachment, CPTSD, abuse recovery, neurobiology, IFS, shame, masculinity, emotional health, compassion, boundaries, healing, spiritual formation, Three Percent podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with Ben Zobrist, former MLB player and two-time World Series champion, for a vulnerable and deeply human conversation about identity, faith, and what happens when the cheering stops. Ben shares openly about the transition out of professional baseball, the loss of structure and purpose that followed, and how faith became a place of wrestling rather than performance. Together, they explore the tension between success and surrender, what it means to be truly known, and the slow, humble work of healing when your identity is stripped away. This isn’t a story about baseball—it’s a story about becoming whole. Takeaways Success can hide the deeper questions about who we are and where we belong. Leaving a career built on performance can expose old wounds around identity and worth. Faith doesn’t eliminate pain—it gives us a way to be honest in it. Real healing happens through community, rest, and humility. You can lose what you do and still discover who you are. Check out more from Ben Zobrist: Instagram – @benzobrist18 Learn more about Champion Forward Learn more about Three Percent: www.threepercentco.com Instagram – @threepercent.co Chapters (00:00) Welcome & Introducing Ben Zobrist (04:10) Life After Baseball: The Unknown Season (09:20) When Identity Is Built on Performance (13:50) The Hidden Cost of Success (18:30) Wrestling with Faith in the Middle of Loss (22:00) Learning to Rest After Years of Drive (27:10) What Healing Has Looked Like for Ben (31:30) Community, Therapy, and Honest Friendship (36:00) Lessons from Baseball That Still Apply (41:20) Redefining Winning in Life and Faith (45:00) Final Reflections and Gratitude Resources 🎧 Related episodes: Healing the Heart After Trauma with Dr. Thomas Cabell The Strength Men Need to Reclaim with Marc Typo A Practical Guide to Engaging Your Emotions Keywords Ben Zobrist, MLB, baseball, faith, identity, mental health, healing, masculinity, success, performance, transition, purpose, humility, emotional health, spiritual formation, life after sports, Three Percent podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with Justin Whitmel Earley—author, lawyer, and father of four—to talk about habits that shape the heart of a family. Justin shares his story of going from missionary life to corporate law, from breakdown to deep formation, and how he discovered that small, ordinary rhythms can become spiritual lifelines. They unpack what it looks like to build a household of peace in a world that runs on hurry, noise, and distraction—and why habits of love, presence, and prayer matter more than ever. This conversation blends theology and practicality, inviting us to see that the way we live each day is forming the people we’re becoming. Takeaways Habits aren’t just productivity tools—they’re ways of shaping love and attention. Children learn what peace feels like through the rhythms of their parents. Morning prayer, shared meals, and nightly blessings anchor the home in presence. Hustle culture and hurry are spiritual forces that disconnect us from God and others. The household is the front line of formation—and the place where grace meets real life. Justin's New Book:  The Body Teaches the Soul Check out more from Justin Whitmel Earley: Website – www.justinwhitmelearley.com Instagram – @justinwhitmelearley Podcast - Intentional Fatherhood Podcast Learn more about Three Percent: www.threepercentco.com Instagram – @threepercent.co Chapters (00:00) Introduction & Justin’s Story (05:20) From Missionary to Lawyer: The Collapse That Changed Everything (10:45) Discovering the Power of Habits (15:30) Why the Household Is the Front Line of Formation (20:00) Practicing Presence in a Distracted World (26:30) Rhythms of Morning and Evening Prayer (33:00) What Kids Learn from Watching Our Habits (38:00) Building Grace into Daily Structure (42:15) Habits of Work, Rest, and Sabbath (47:00) The Practice of Blessing and Gratitude (52:00) How Formation Happens in the Ordinary (56:00) Closing Reflections Keywords Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household, The Common Rule, spiritual formation, habits, discipline, family life, parenting, emotional health, faith, household rhythms, rest, sabbath, presence, hurry, masculinity, relationships, marriage, formation, love, community, Three Percent podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with Dr. Thomas Cabell, a physician and teacher whose decades of experience in medicine and spiritual formation have shaped his holistic view of health and healing. In a world that treats brokenness as something to hide or fix, Dr. Cabell offers a countercultural perspective: that healing is not the absence of pain—it’s the restoration of connection. Together they explore how the body and soul are deeply intertwined, how medicine and faith can work hand-in-hand, and why true health includes emotional honesty, rest, and relationship. With stories from his medical career, spiritual reflections, and grounded wisdom, Dr. Cabell reminds us that becoming whole is less about control and more about courage. Takeaways Healing is a return to connection—within ourselves, with others, and with God. The body is always telling the truth; symptoms are invitations, not failures. Busyness and disconnection are often modern forms of sickness. Listening deeply—to our bodies, our emotions, and each other—is a healing act. Integrating medicine, psychology, and faith offers a fuller picture of human flourishing. Check out more of Dr. Thomas Cabell:  Ascension Health Profile Learn more about Three Percent: www.threepercentco.com Instagram – @threepercentco Chapters (00:00) Introduction & Why We Avoid Stillness (04:30) Dr. Cabell’s Journey into Medicine and Ministry (10:20) What Patients Teach Us About Healing (14:50) How the Body and Spirit Speak the Same Language (20:00) Disconnection as the Root of Disease (26:30) The Power of Presence in Medicine (31:00) When Helping Becomes Hiding (37:00) Integrating Faith, Medicine, and Mental Health (43:20) How Rest and Play Restore Wholeness (48:10) What True Healing Looks Like (53:00) Final Reflections & Encouragement Keywords Dr. Thomas Cabell, healthcare, holistic health, spiritual formation, medicine and faith, emotional healing, embodiment, presence, rest, connection, trauma healing, holistic masculinity, men’s mental health, wholeness, soul care, Three Percent podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with Lexy Florentina, a somatic experiencing practitioner, writer, and teacher helping people reconnect with their bodies after trauma. In this beautiful, grounding conversation, Lexy helps us understand what it means to build a relationship with the body—not to fix or control it, but to listen to it. Through stories, science, and a live somatic exercise with Blake, Lexy guides us to see that the body isn’t the enemy. It’s been fighting for us, not against us. Together they explore how men, in particular, have been conditioned to override, shame, or disconnect from their emotions—and how healing begins when we learn to be curious instead of critical. This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt stuck, numb, or at war with themselves. Takeaways Healing begins when we stop trying to fix our bodies and start listening to them. The body’s reactions aren’t failures—they’re survival strategies born from protection. Curiosity is the foundation of healing; judgment keeps us disconnected. Trauma narrows our menu of choices—healing shows us there are other options. Men often carry a shame-based or control-based relationship with their bodies; soft curiosity opens the door to safety. Our bodies are always communicating; the question is whether we’ll listen. Check out more of Lexy Florentina: Website – lexyflorentina.com Instagram – @lexyflorentina Community – Held: A co-resting membership for learning to be with your body Learn more about Three Percent: www.threepercentco.com Instagram – @threepercentco Chapters (00:00) Welcome & Introducing Lexy Florentina (03:00) What Is Somatic Experiencing? (07:00) Lexy’s Story: From Complex Trauma to Healing (10:00) The Body as an Ally, Not an Enemy (13:00) Why Men Struggle to Connect with Their Bodies (16:00) Curiosity vs. Control (18:00) How We Learn to Disconnect from Ourselves (22:00) “I Can’t Change This, But I Can Help You Not Feel It” (25:00) A Live Somatic Exercise with Blake (31:00) Finding Safety and Sturdiness in the Body (35:00) The Importance of Agency and Choice in Healing (38:00) Watching Healing in Real Time (40:00) Why We Consume Information to Fix Ourselves (42:00) There’s Nothing Wrong With You—Your Body Is Doing Its Job (44:00) Lexy’s Work: Community, Courses, and “Held” (46:00) Closing Reflections Resources The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk Gabor Maté – drgabormate.com Keywords Lexy Florentina, somatic experiencing, trauma healing, nervous system, emotional regulation, embodiment, holistic masculinity, men’s mental health, trauma response, curiosity, shame, body awareness, mindfulness, self-compassion, somatic therapy, healing, co-regulation, connection, faith, vulnerability, emotional safety, Three Percent podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this heartfelt and practical conversation, Blake and Jamie dive deep into attachment science — exploring how our earliest relationships shape the way we connect, protect, and seek safety today. Drawing from both research and their own friendship, they unpack the four attachment styles — secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized — and describe them through vivid metaphors: the pasture, jungle, desert, and war zone. They share personal stories of conflict and repair, offering a hopeful look at how awareness and compassion can help us move toward emotional safety. This episode is a guide to understanding your relational patterns and choosing connection over protection. Takeaways Your attachment style isn’t a flaw — it’s an adaptive strategy that once kept you safe. Awareness is the first step, but healing happens in relationship. Secure attachment (“the pasture”) is built through safety, consistency, and repair. Avoidance, anxiety, and chaos are often just unhealed attempts to find connection. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s movement toward honesty, empathy, and safety. Resources Embodied Faith by Jeff & Cyd Holsclaw – https://www.embodiedfaith.life/ Dr. Curt Thompson – Author and speaker on attachment & spiritual formation https://curtthompsonmd.com/attachment-theory-i/ Related Episodes: A Practical Guide to Engaging Your Emotions Suicide Prevention Month Emotions for Dummies (Like Us) Learn more about Three Percent: www.threepercentco.com Instagram – @threepercent.co Chapters (00:00) Welcome & Why We’re Talking About Attachment (04:15) What Is Attachment Science? (09:40) How Our Childhood Shapes Our Style of Connection (14:30) The War Zone – Disorganized/Ambivalent Attachment (18:50) The Jungle – Anxious Attachment (23:10 )The Desert – Avoidant Attachment (28:00) The Pasture – Secure Attachment (31:45) Blake’s Story: Growing Up Without Emotional Safety (36:20) Jamie’s Story: Learning to Stay Present in Conflict (40:30) How Attachment Shows Up in Our Friendship (44:10) The Role of Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation (48:00) Moving Toward the Pasture: Repair and Connection (53:00) How Faith and Attachment Intersect (57:00) Final Reflections & Encouragement for the Week Keywords attachment, attachment theory, secure attachment, avoidant attachment, anxious attachment, disorganized attachment, emotional safety, friendship, faith, therapy, trauma healing, co-regulation, nervous system, parenting, relationships, vulnerability, holistic masculinity, Three Percent, mental health, emotional literacy, self-awareness, connection, neuroscience, grace, growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week’s episode, we sit down with New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and podcast host Annie F. Downs—known by many as the “Queen of Fun.” Annie shares with us her journey of embracing both joy and pain, and how cultivating delight in everyday life can reconnect us to God, ourselves, and others. Together we explore the tension between being hopeful and bypassing pain, how to discern what parts of our story are private vs. public, and why fun is more than just entertainment—it’s a taste of eternity. Annie invites us to rediscover what our five-year-old selves loved, and how those simple joys can bring healing and hope today. Links Annie F. Downs: anniefdowns.com That Sounds Fun Podcast: Listen here Book: That Sounds Fun https://amzn.to/42s5ObF Upcoming Tour Dates with CAIN: caintheband.com Reforesting Faith: What Trees Teach Us About the Nature of God and His Love for Us by Matthew Sleeth https://amzn.to/42seuPo Takeaways Fun is not frivolous—it’s a spiritual practice that points us to eternity. Vulnerability requires discernment: knowing what belongs to your private life and what can be shared publicly. Hope can be both a practice and a feeling—sometimes we “put it on like a jacket” before we fully believe it. Settling into our humanness allows us to extend grace to ourselves and to others. Men especially need to reclaim fun and kindness toward themselves, not just others. Chapters (00:00) – Putting on Hope Like a Jacket (02:00) – Meet Annie F. Downs: Author, Speaker, Podcaster (05:00) – Onsite, Vulnerability, and Healing (10:00) – Public, Personal, and Private Lives (18:00) – The Tension Between Hope and Spiritual Bypassing (25:00) – Settling Into Humanness and Grace (29:00) – Why Fun Matters for Men (35:00) – Listening to Your Five-Year-Old Self (41:00) – Fun as a Taste of Eternity (44:00) – Be Kind to Yourself (46:00) – Annie’s Upcoming Tour and Projects (48:00) – Pizza, Shirley Temples, and Madeleine L’Engle Keywords Annie F. Downs, That Sounds Fun, hope, fun, faith, vulnerability, Onsite, private vs. public life, therapy, humanness, grace, joy, eternity, childhood delight, masculinity, emotional health, three percent podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Through raw honesty, humor, and deep wisdom, Dr. John Delony joins us to talk about what real strength looks like. A bestselling author, mental health expert, and co-host of The Ramsey Show, John has spent years walking people through crisis, parenting, relationships, and the everyday chaos of life. In this conversation, John shares his personal journey of growing up in the Church of Christ, discovering punk rock, wrestling with anger and grief, and learning what it means to truly be safe and present for his wife and kids. From stories about music and moshing to his vulnerable account of therapy, childhood trauma, and reconnecting with his daughter, John reminds us that the hardest and most courageous thing a man can do is sit across from someone and say, “I’m hurting.” If you’ve ever wondered how to move from flexing your way through life to finding peace, love, and connection—you won’t want to miss this one.  Links Mentioned The Dr. John Deloney Show: https://www.youtube.com/johndelony  Dr. John Delony on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johndelony/ Books: Building a Non-Anxious Life: https://amzn.to/46SORts  Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness: https://amzn.to/4mDWlFB  Takeaways Why real masculinity is found in honesty, vulnerability, and connection—not toughness. How unprocessed trauma shows up in family systems and relationships. The story of John’s daughter and how therapy helped transform their relationship. Why anger is often grief in disguise. The importance of men believing they are worth being loved. Chapters (00:00) – Introduction (02:00) – From Punk Rock to Pantera to Faith (10:00) – Why Safety Matters in Family Systems (16:00) – Messages Men Have Been Told (22:00) – Wrestling With Worthiness and Faith (31:00) – The Nuclear Reactor in the Chest (38:00) – Addiction, Numbing, and Finding Peace (45:00) – Honoring Anger and Grief (52:00) – Why All the Feelings Belong (58:00) – Closing Thoughts Keywords  John Delony, Ramsey Show, mental health, therapy, masculinity, vulnerability, anger, grief, parenting, trauma healing, connection, worthiness, holistic masculinity, emotions, authenticity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it mean to live with a faith that feels real in the middle of life’s messiness? This week we sit down with pastor, father of five, and director of discipleship at Pillar Media, Chad Mondragon. Chad shares about his family story, his journey through church ministry into media, and the launch of The Jesus Table—a platform designed to meet people where they are with honest discipleship. Together we talk about: Why the bravest thing men can do is take the risk of vulnerability How the epidemic of loneliness is shaping faith and masculinity today What real connection looks like at home, at church, and with friends The role of questions, doubts, and honesty in a faith that feels real Why family dinners, small groups, and even workouts can be places of healing Chad reminds us that courage in manhood isn’t just scaling mountains—it’s opening up to safe people, risking vulnerability, and discovering that we’re more deeply loved than we fear. Links & Resources Mentioned: Chad’s work: thejesustable.com Follow The Jesus Table on Instagram Fathered by God by John Eldredge Chapters (00:00) – Introducing Chad Mondragon (04:00) – Family, youth ministry, and the value of dinner table conversations (13:00) – From planting churches to discipleship in media (20:00) – The loneliness epidemic & men’s need for connection (27:00) – Faith that feels real: questions, doubts, and vulnerability (39:00) – Risking love through honesty (54:00) – The Jesus Table project Keywords: Chad Mondragon, The Jesus Table, loneliness epidemic, faith that feels real, vulnerability, holistic masculinity, discipleship, family, John Eldredge, Fathered by God, men’s ministry, F3, connection, Pillar Media Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Blake and Jamie share a simple but powerful framework for engaging your emotions: Pause, Pray, Process, Express. Building on last week’s conversation about suicide prevention and the dangers of bottling up emotions, they offer a practical, grace-filled tool to help you slow down, connect with what you’re really feeling, and bring those needs into safe relationships. Through honest stories about marriage, parenting, and friendship, they show how emotional awareness isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress.Learn more about Three Percent:🌐 https://www.threepercentco.com📸 Instagram – @threepercentcoDownload the free Pause, Pray, Process, Express guide on our website.Takeaways Most men bottle up, blow up, or numb out instead of engaging emotions. Neural pathways (the “slip and slides”) can be retrained with new practices. Pause: Slow your nervous system and notice what you’re feeling in your body. Pray: Invite God into your emotions without bypassing them. Process: Journal, talk it out, or seek safe co-regulation. Express: Share your inner world in ways that build connection and, when needed, set boundaries. Progress, not perfection, is the goal. Chapters(00:00) Why Engaging Emotions Matters(03:00) Bottling, Blowing Up, and Numbing Out(06:00) Stories from Parenting and Marriage(10:00) Why We Need to Create New Neural Pathways(14:00) Step 1: Pause – Slowing Your Nervous System(20:00) Step 2: Pray – Inviting God Without Bypassing(24:00) Step 3: Process – Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation(32:00) Step 4: Express – Sharing Your Inner World Safely(37:00) Movement, Boundaries, and Nonlinear Growth(40:00) Small Steps: Progress Over Perfection(43:00) How to Download the Free GuideKeywordsThree Percent, emotions, emotional health, men’s mental health, suicide prevention, emotional awareness, pause pray process, nervous system regulation, prayer, journaling, co-regulation, vulnerability, marriage, parenting, friendship, boundaries, holistic masculinity, therapy tools, emotional literacy, emotional connection, resilience, spiritual formation, healing practices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You are not alone. In honor of Suicide Prevention Month, Blake and Jamie open a tender and courageous conversation about suicide, loneliness, and hope. Blake shares the story of his own suicide attempt as a 17-year-old—the pain, shame, and family struggles that led him there, and the long journey of healing that followed. Together, they discuss the epidemic of loneliness among men, the need for emotional language and safe connection, and the importance of creating spaces where honesty can be met with care instead of shame. This episode is a raw invitation to remember that every life has value and that healing begins with being known. Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐 www.threepercentco.com 📸 Instagram – @threepercentco Takeaways Suicide prevention starts long before a crisis—it begins with connection, empathy, and emotional language. Men die by suicide 3.5 times more often than women, often linked to isolation and loneliness. Behind anger, addiction, or performance often lies pain and fear that need to be named. Sharing your “3%” with safe people creates connection that can hold chaos. Compassion for your younger self is a vital part of healing. You are worth the effort it takes to reach out for help. Chapters (00:00) Why This Episode Matters – Suicide Prevention Month (03:00) Blake’s Story: A 17-Year-Old Carrying Too Much (08:00) Shame, Family Pressure, and Coping Through Numbing (12:00) The Night of the Attempt (18:00) What Loneliness Does to the Soul (23:00) Hiding, Shame, and the Story Everyone Believed (28:00) Why Suicide Prevention Starts at Birth (32:00) The Epidemic of Loneliness in Men (36:00) Connection Doesn’t Erase Pain—but Holds It (40:00) A Letter to My 17-Year-Old Self (46:00) Practical Next Steps & Resources for Listeners Keywords Three Percent, suicide prevention, suicide awareness month, Blake Roberts, depression, shame, loneliness, healing, mental health, men’s mental health, holistic masculinity, trauma, addiction, recovery, vulnerability, faith and mental health, emotional literacy, crisis resources, therapy, compassion, identity, being known, resilience, self-compassion, healing journey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special 6-month anniversary episode, Blake and Jamie reflect on the journey so far with Three Percent—the stories, conversations, and friendships that have shaped this space. From the very first interviews to the deep themes of masculinity, emotions, vulnerability, and faith, they revisit what they’ve learned along the way and what has surprised them most. They also share their hopes for the next season of the podcast and the growing Three Percent community. This is a moment to pause, look back with gratitude, and look forward with expectation. Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐 www.threepercentco.com 📸 Instagram – @threepercentco Giveaway Send us your story for a chance to have a 30-45 minute coaching session with Blake and Jamie. How to enter: Send 2-3 sentences on something you are working through to hello@threepercentco.com Takeaways How to enter: Send 2-3 sentences on something you are working through to hello@threepercentco.com  Six months of conversations have affirmed the hunger for honest, vulnerable dialogue about masculinity and faith. Guests have given language for emotions and experiences many men didn’t know how to name. Friendship and safe community are central to the healing journey. Healing is not a quick fix—it’s a long, relational process. Vulnerability always invites deeper connection. Gratitude and hope mark the past and the future of Three Percent. Chapters 00:00 Celebrating Six Months of Three Percent 02:30 How the Podcast Began 06:00 Favorite Moments from the First Six Months 11:00 What We’ve Learned from Our Guests 15:00 Why Friendship Is Central to Healing 20:00 Surprises Along the Way 24:00 The Tension of Vulnerability and Masculinity 29:00 Looking Ahead: Hopes for the Next Six Months 34:00 Gratitude for the Community 38:00 Closing Thoughts Keywords Three Percent, podcast anniversary, masculinity, emotions, faith, vulnerability, friendship, healing, reflection, community, growth, gratitude, holistic masculinity, men’s mental health, personal growth, emotional health, spiritual formation, podcast journey, storytelling, healing through connection Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this soulful and deeply human conversation, author, speaker, and coach Justin McRoberts joins us to explore the sacred tension between calling and rest, ambition and surrender. With humor, honesty, and theological insight, Justin shares the spiritual and emotional journey behind his book In the Low. We discuss fatherhood, friendship, control, and what it means to hold both grief and joy with open hands. If you’ve ever wrestled with doing enough or being enough, this episode is an invitation back to groundedness, belovedness, and the long road of faithful presence. Check out more of Justin McRoberts: 🌐 Website – www.justinmcroberts.com 📸 Instagram – @justinmcroberts 📚 Book – In The Low Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐 www.threepercentco.com Takeaways Your “calling” doesn’t have to be heavy—it can be playful and sacred. Ambition without rest leads to burnout and bitterness. Slowing down often feels like failure in a productivity-obsessed world. God’s invitation is not just to work for Him, but to be with Him. Real rest means learning to release control. Friendships that hold both celebration and grief are vital to resilience. There is no sacred calling without sacred rest. Chapters 00:00 Welcome & Meet Justin McRoberts 03:30 What Is In The Low All About? 06:00 Ambition, Surrender, and the Space Between 10:20 Calling as a Form of Relationship 13:40 Relearning the Pace of Love and Grace 16:00 Burnout, Shame, and Being "Too Much" 19:30 Parenting, Grief, and the Myth of Control 24:00 What He Learned From Deep Friendships 28:00 Masculinity and the Pressure to Perform 31:00 God’s Invitation to Rest and Trust 35:00 Questions That Help You Stay Human 39:00 Where to Find Justin Online Keywords Justin McRoberts, Three Percent, Sacred Strides, calling, rest, surrender, ambition, masculinity, Christian leadership, burnout, spiritual formation, work-life balance, grief, friendship, control, parenting, vulnerability, emotional health, faith and productivity, theological reflection, presence, fatherhood, resilience, healing, belovedness, performance pressure, letting go Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this soul-shaking episode, we sit down with therapist, trauma practitioner, and spiritual leader Rachel Clinton Chen to explore the sacred, painful, and courageous work of healing. Rachel guides us into the realities of trauma, powerlessness, spiritual abuse, and what it takes to become whole. We talk about the cost of integrity, the betrayal of our bodies, and the profound invitation to let lament and grief become doorways to hope. With honesty, wisdom, and fierce gentleness, Rachel names what so many are afraid to say aloud—and calls us to be people of truth and love in the face of harm. Takeaways Trauma is not just what happens to you—it’s what you carry when you’re alone in it. Integrity has a cost, especially in spiritually abusive systems. Grief is not the end of the story—it’s the beginning of embodied hope. Healing often begins with naming what is true, even when it’s disruptive. Your body keeps the score, but it can also be the site of redemption. We need language, witness, and safety to metabolize harm. When we stop trying to hold everything together, we begin to heal. Check out more of Rachel Clinton Chen: 🌐 ⁠The Allender Center⁠ 📸 Instagram –⁠ @rachelclintonchen ⁠  🎙 Podcast – ⁠The Allender Center Podcast⁠ Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐⁠ www.threepercentco.com Chapters (00:00) Meet Rachel Clinton Chen (04:00) Powerlessness and the Language of Trauma (07:30) What Spiritual Abuse Steals from the Soul (12:00) The Cost of Integrity in Religious Systems (15:30) The Body Knows What the Mind Tries to Hide (19:00) Naming the Truth and Being Witnessed (22:30) What Is Lament and Why Does It Matter? (26:00) Becoming People Who Can Grieve and Hold Hope (29:00) From Dissociation to Embodiment (34:00) Holding Complexity in a Black-and-White World (38:00) Rachel’s Own Healing and Leadership Journey (41:00) Why She Still Believes in the Church (46:00) A Word for the Tender and Tired Listener (49:00) Where to Find Rachel and Her Work Keywords Rachel Clinton Chen, Three Percent, trauma healing, spiritual abuse, integrity, grief, lament, The Allender Center, Dan Allender, embodiment, Christian trauma, spiritual formation, emotional health, mental health, religious harm, narrative healing, counseling, black-and-white thinking, abuse recovery, faith and pain, hope, integrity, safety, truth-telling, nervous system, therapeutic practices, power and vulnerability, shame and resilience, holistic masculinity, tenderness, church healing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summary In this deeply personal episode, Jamie and Blake step away from interviews to reflect on one of the most important and tender questions they ask as therapists and friends: What’s the point in changing? Recorded during a 3% planning retreat, they share the raw stories of their own healing journeys—from addiction, numbness, and rage to freedom, connection, and hope. Whether you’re seeking freedom from a behavior or freedom for deeper relationships, this episode offers both encouragement and honesty for anyone in process. Mentioned Resources Chip Dodd’s Feelings Chart: https://www.chipdodd.com/free-resources-download Jay Stringer’s book Unwanted: https://jay-stringer.com/book/ The Voice of the Heart by Chip Dodd: https://www.chipdodd.com/books Takeaways There’s often no clear “start” to change—just the next honest step. External motivations (like a spouse or relationship) can be valid entry points. Deep transformation comes when we realize we need to change for ourselves. We are not our behaviors—shame grows when we enmesh identity with struggle. Empathy often has to be relearned—and it starts with how we talk to ourselves. Change is not linear, and recovery is a lifelong journey. You're worth the work it takes to be known, healed, and free. Chapters (00:00) Welcome from the Cabin (02:32) What Motivates Change? (04:50) Motivational Interviewing & Counseling Insights (06:44) Blake’s Story: Hitting a Wall (10:10) Changing for a Relationship (13:00) You Are Not the Problem (16:20) Freedom From vs. Freedom For (18:00) Jamie’s Story: Numbness and Rage (22:10) The Role of Porn in Emotional Numbing (24:55) Shifting Motivation Over Time (26:20) Healing as Ongoing Work (29:00) The Little Boy Inside Who Still Wants to Hide (32:30) Parenting Yourself with Compassion (35:10) Why Progress Feels Like a Circle (37:00) Change for You, Not Just Them (39:00) You’re Worth It Keywords therapy, change, healing, recovery, shame, emotional health, addiction, porn recovery, motivation, empathy, rage, fatherhood, masculinity, self-awareness, spiritual formation, honesty, holistic masculinity, personal growth, identity, trauma, freedom, Jay Stringer, Chip Dodd, Voice of the Heart, emotional literacy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices