Tell Us Your Story - A captivating and thought provoking podcast that intricately weaves together personal stories with timeless ancient wisdom and groundbreaking modern discoveries to unlock the profound mysteries of life.
Personal stories, special edition episodes, guest hosts and our Next Gen series, celebrating the young voices that are helping make the world a kinder and less divided place.
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Better Questions Create Doors | Angelique Strang on Grief, Breaking the Silence and Finding Your Way Home
Saison 3 · Épisode 34
dimanche 18 octobre 2026 • Durée 01:10:41
What's the question you ask when life falls apart? Why me? Angelique Strang asked it for years. Then she found a better one: what is this trying to teach me?
Angelique became a mom at seventeen, raised ten children through more than thirty years of abusive marriages, and lost two of her sons eight months apart. Today she calls herself a story steward. She hosts the podcast Breaking the Silence and is building Triquetra Sanctuary, a place where people can tell the truth about their lives without being judged.
Content note: this conversation discusses child loss, addiction, domestic violence and suicide.
In this conversation, Angelique and Jeff talk about:
• Why some questions create cages and better questions create doors
• Breaking the silence around addiction, overdose and grief
• Why you can't fix or rescue the people you love
• The front porch, where you belong before you do anything
• Grief and joy living side by side
• The two questions: what she'd tell her younger self, and what she wants her future self to hear
Chapters
0:00 Welcome from Arizona
0:32 The quality of our questions
2:58 A story steward
5:07 Her least favorite question
5:36 Some questions create cages, better questions create doors
6:55 Growing up in northern Indiana
8:21 Ten children in thirteen years
9:20 Thirty years of abusive marriages, and the pattern in her grandchildren
11:11 Losing two sons, and the birth of Breaking the Silence
13:17 What her son taught her: live for today
16:59 Breaking the cycle for the next generation
18:57 The parts of herself she learned to silence
21:23 What she had to remember about herself
22:57 Staying out of the eye of the storm
24:18 Why telling the truth is so hard
25:36 What creates safety
27:32 The house, the doors and the front porch
31:13 What home means
32:33 A kitchen open to everyone
35:08 The door she was most afraid to walk through
39:43 What grief taught her
40:56 Guilt, and the lessons we came to learn
45:42 Carrying the tiger
47:10 Grief and joy, side by side
51:09 The Better Questions philosophy
52:59 Triquetra Sanctuary
58:09 Where to find Angelique
1:01:10 Advice to a younger Angelique
1:02:04 A message to her future self: celebrate the wins
1:08:00 Closing: maybe the world needs more front porches
Mentioned in this episode
• Breaking the Silence, Angelique's podcast
• Triquetra Sanctuary and the Triquetra Storyteller's Circle
• Carrying the Tiger by Tony Stewart (Season 3, Episode 2)
• Socrates, the Buddha, Jesus and Joseph Campbell on the power of questions
Keep the conversation going
• Find Angelique: linktr.ee/angeliquestrang
• Letters From the Middle of It All, Jeff's free weekly letter: thestoryofusproject.com/blog
• New here? Start with these episodes: thestoryofusproject.com/start-here
• Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@TheStoryofUswithJeff
If you're struggling, please reach out. In the U.S., call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
Share this with someone who needs a front porch this week, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It's the single biggest way new listeners find us.
The Story of Us with Jeff Ellison. Real People. Real Stories. Real Wisdom.
You're Not Broken, You Adapted to Survive | Barb Varcl Smith on Childhood Trauma, Fake Resilience and Breaking the Cycle
Saison 3 · Épisode 33
vendredi 16 octobre 2026 • Durée 01:03:16
What if the behaviors you like least about yourself aren't character flaws at all, but survival strategies?
Barb Varcl Smith grew up in Prague under Soviet occupation, the daughter of a dissident. At four, she watched a ton and a half of snow fall from a rooftop onto her mother. She became the strong one: the athlete, the achiever, the consultant working 18-hour days, until her body made her stop. Today, from a farm in Scotland, she helps people recover from childhood trauma and stop passing it on to the next generation.
Content note: this conversation discusses childhood trauma and chronic illness, and mentions abuse.
In this conversation, Barb and Jeff talk about:
• Growing up behind the Iron Curtain, and the day the snow fell
• Fake resilience: when high achievement is really survival
• Why trauma is how we reacted, not only what happened to us
• "Trauma is an explanation, not an excuse"
• The five pillars of self and the steps of ascendance
• The LOVE framework for parents: listen, observe, validate, express
• The two questions: what she'd whisper to her four-year-old self, and what she wants her future self to hear
Chapters
0:00 Welcome to the virtual studio
0:21 Why do we become who we become?
2:43 Fake resilience, and "an explanation, not an excuse"
3:58 Barb's story: Prague under occupation
6:23 A nursery at six months, and the high achiever
8:48 Chronic fatigue at seventeen
11:08 From IT to the mind-body connection
Why Do You Believe What You Believe? | Charles Mastroni on Faith, Worldview, and the Beliefs That Quietly Shape Our Lives
Saison 3 · Épisode 32
mercredi 14 octobre 2026 • Durée 01:06:53
Why do you believe what you believe? Not what. Why.
Charles Mastroni lost his father at eight, spent his twenties as an agnostic, found his way to Christian faith, and has spent the decades since thinking hard about the questions underneath every human life. He studied biology at Penn State, worked as a carpenter in New York City, built a career in sourcing for a global pharmaceutical company, served and taught in his church, and wrote the book Why Not God? From his kitchen table, Charles and Jeff talk about where beliefs come from, how they quietly shape everything we see, and why the most powerful beliefs may be the ones we've never stopped to question.
This conversation isn't about convincing anyone. It's an invitation to examine your own worldview, whatever it is.
In this conversation, Charles and Jeff talk about:
• The peace on his father's face, and how it shaped his view of death
• Hitting bottom in his twenties and praying for the first time in years
• Where beliefs come from: "We don't really invent truth, we discover truth"
• Why our beliefs and values become filters for everything new
• Is truth relative or absolute?
• The TAKES model of worldview: theology, anthropology, knowledge, ethics and salvation
• Has human nature changed, or only our tools?
• What the church got tragically wrong, and gloriously right
• Love in ordinary moments: playing with your kid when you're tired, keeping a fair contract
Chapters
0:47 Why we live by stories, and why every story rests on a belief
4:18 Charles's story: Lansdale, Pennsylvania, and twelve years of Catholic school
Do the Brave Thing. Keep Becoming | Jeannie McIntire on Reinvention, Courage, and Growing Up Late
Saison 3 · Épisode 31
dimanche 11 octobre 2026 • Durée 54:15
What if the life you built turns out to be a house of cards?
Jeannie McIntire had the executive career, the blended family, the house, the pool and the boat. Then, at around forty, she opened her mail and found out the money was gone. Broke, single and starting over, she says that was the moment she finally began to grow up. Today Jeannie hosts the podcast Growing Up Late, coaches women (and men) on financial literacy, and is living what she calls her seventh life.
In this conversation, Jeannie and Jeff talk about:
• Being adopted, losing her dad at five, and the story she told herself about her worth
• Why achievement and fulfillment are not the same thing
• Who you are when the titles disappear
• "Things aren't falling apart, they're falling together," and Michelangelo's David
• Money as self-respect: reality is still true whether you look at it or not
• Joseph Campbell and why we take many hero's journeys, not one
• Why happiness may be the booby prize to joy
• The two questions: what she'd whisper to her younger self, and what she wants her future self to remember
Chapters
0:00 Welcome: who are we actually becoming?
3:19 Jeannie's story: Boston, adoption, and six lives so far
5:37 The big life, then the crash: broke and single at 40-ish
8:19 The story she told herself about being adopted
10:05 Achievement versus fulfillment
11:38 Comparison is the thief of joy
13:31 What never left her younger self
15:26 "My heart broke wide open"
You Don’t Need the Whole Plan. Just Keep Lovin' | Adam Guzman Poole on Love as a Practice, Following Your Heart, and Trusting the Life You Can’t Yet See
Saison 3 · Épisode 30
vendredi 9 octobre 2026 • Durée 01:10:09
What if some of our greatest spiritual teachers aren't waiting in monasteries, temples, or sacred forests? What if they're already sitting across the dinner table?
In this episode of The Story of Us, Jeff Ellison sits down with Adam Guzman Poole, writer, spiritual teacher, husband, father, and author of the forthcoming Lessons on Love, for a gentle and deeply thoughtful conversation about relationships, spirituality, service, and the practice of love.
Adam's path has been anything but conventional. Born in Canada, raised in the Philippines, and shaped by Venezuelan and Indigenous roots, his search for meaning eventually led him into nearly two decades of study across Indigenous traditions, Buddhism, yoga, contemplative Christianity, and other wisdom traditions. He spent three years living in the Amazon and once seriously considered becoming a monk.
But eventually, some of his greatest teachers weren't found somewhere far away.
They were found in relationship.
In This Episode
Growing up across cultures and discovering spirituality as a teenager
The Indigenous medicine woman who saw beyond Adam's troubled exterior
Searching for the sacred through substances, achievement, spirituality, and service
What years with Indigenous teachers, Buddhists, yogis, and other traditions taught him
Why different wisdom traditions may be pointing toward similar truths
Relationships as a spiritual practice
What it means to be in “right relationship”
Why conflict doesn't necessarily mean love has failed
Learning to become a loving presence for ourselves
Marriage, intimacy, and personal growth
Fatherhood and surrendering the “small me”
Service as a spiritual practice
Why love is something we do, not simply something we feel
What Adam would tell his younger and future selves
One of the most beautiful moments comes when Adam talks about becoming a father.
There is No Purity Test...There's Just Progress | Erick Cloward on Stoicism and Becoming a Better Human
Saison 3 · Épisode 29
mercredi 7 octobre 2026 • Durée 01:14:10
What if some of the best tools for navigating modern life were discovered more than 2,000 years ago?
In this episode of The Story of Us, Jeff Ellison sits down with Erick Cloward, creator and host of Stoic Coffee Break, author of Stoicism 101, and longtime student of Stoic philosophy.
But Erick didn't find Stoicism because ancient philosophy sounded interesting.
He found it because he needed it.
Growing up in Utah, Erick describes a childhood shaped by unpredictability, anger, and learning to constantly monitor his father's moods. Those experiences followed him into adulthood, where small situations could trigger reactions he didn't fully understand and sometimes damage relationships he cared about.
Then he discovered Stoicism.
What began with a book became a practice—and eventually a different way of understanding anger, control, character, shame, acceptance, and himself.
This conversation moves beyond the popular image of the Stoic as cold or emotionless. Erick explains Stoicism as a practical philosophy for human flourishing: recognizing what is actually within our control, developing character, living with wisdom and courage, treating others fairly, and learning to navigate an unpredictable world without demanding that it cooperate with our plans.
In This Episode
What Stoicism actually teaches—and what it doesn't
How trauma can distort our perception of danger
Why perspective shapes how we experience the world
Control versus worrying about things we cannot change
The four Stoic virtues and the idea of eudaimonia
Why Stoicism isn't emotional suppression
Anger, self-awareness, and breaking inherited patterns
Stoicism alongside religion and spirituality
Mortality and becoming less afraid of death
Why character matters more than possessions or status
SPECIAL EDITION: There Is No “Them” | How Human Stories Can Heal a Culture of Contempt
Saison 3 · Épisode 28
dimanche 4 octobre 2026 • Durée 27:56
We live in a world that constantly asks us to choose a side.
Us or them. Right or wrong. Our people or theirs.
But what happens when the label becomes more important than the person?
In this solo episode of The Story of Us, Jeff Ellison explores one of the central ideas behind the entire project: it becomes much harder to dehumanize someone once you know their story.
The label becomes shorthand for a complicated human being we may have never actually taken the time to know.
And once the story disappears, contempt becomes easy.
But storytelling offers another path.
For thousands of years, human beings have used stories to communicate our deepest truths. From ancient mythology and sacred texts to conversations around dinner tables, stories allow us to temporarily inhabit another person’s world.
Their fear becomes understandable.
Their loss becomes recognizable.
Their hopes begin sounding strangely similar to our own.
And the distance between us and them gets a little smaller.
In This Episode
Why contempt is different from disagreement
What happens when identity becomes a substitute for knowing someone
Why one human story can move us more than millions of statistics
The ancient power of storytelling
How the word “them” makes dehumanization easier
Why unity does not require uniformity
Expanding the circle around the word
You Don't Rise to Your Goals. You Fall to Your Training | J. Reed Durand on Preparing Yourself for Life's Inevitable Changes
Saison 3 · Épisode 27
vendredi 2 octobre 2026 • Durée 01:12:48
Everything changes.
Our careers. Relationships. Bodies. Beliefs. Families. Health. Circumstances. Eventually, every chapter of life gives way to another.
So why are human beings so determined to resist the one thing we know is coming?
In this episode of The Story of Us, Jeff Ellison sits down with author and longtime U.S. Army leader J. Reed Durand for a fascinating conversation about change, self-awareness, leadership, resilience, and why the most important person we'll ever learn to lead is ourselves.
Reed didn't begin life with an obvious path toward leadership. He grew up in Wisconsin surrounded by generations of small farmers and factory workers. College wasn't part of the plan. Eventually, searching for opportunity and stability led him to enlist in the Army as a private.
That decision began a four-decade journey through military and civilian Army roles that would completely reshape his understanding of leadership and human behavior.
The Army taught Reed something important: aspiration alone isn't enough. If he wanted to advance, he had to learn, train, adapt, and repeatedly step beyond what was comfortable. A college degree he never intended to pursue took ten years to earn while serving on active duty.
Over time, Reed arrived at a deceptively simple idea: Change is a skill.
And like any skill, it can be practiced.
His book, Train to Change: Phase One, Self-Mastery, begins not with changing organizations, relationships, or circumstances, but with understanding ourselves.
What are your strengths? weaknesses? biases and blind spots? How do you react to uncertainty? What can you control?
In This Episode
Why human beings naturally resist change
Reed's journey from Wisconsin to the U.S. Army
You’re Not Alone. Your Future Self Is Waiting | Monika Adamczyk on Listening Within, Trusting Life and Becoming Who You Already Are
Saison 3 · Épisode 26
mercredi 30 septembre 2026 • Durée 01:09:29
How much of the life you're living was actually chosen by you?
From childhood, most of us inherit a script: work hard, build a career, achieve, stay productive, make enough money, keep moving. Follow it well enough and eventually, supposedly, fulfillment arrives.
But what happens when you do everything you're “supposed” to do and something inside still whispers: this isn't me?
In this episode of The Story of Us, Jeff Ellison sits down with Monika Adamczyk for a deeply personal conversation about identity, conditioning, intuition, spirituality, presence, and finding the courage to live more authentically.
The daughter of Polish immigrants, Monika grew up surrounded by lessons of resilience, hard work, and survival. Her parents' experiences shaped an extraordinary work ethic, but also a belief that slowing down wasn't really an option.
She followed the expected path into college and eventually corporate consulting, despite sensing almost immediately that the life she was building didn't feel aligned with who she really was.
What followed was a gradual—and sometimes radical—process of questioning the identity she'd constructed.
This conversation explores what happens when we begin separating who we are from who we've been taught to be.
Jeff and Monika discuss ego and identity, intuition, synchronicity, spirituality, the mysterious “signs” we sometimes encounter when we're paying attention, and the difference between blindly following those signs and developing discernment.
They also explore something simpler:
Maybe wonder isn't somewhere else. Maybe we're just not paying attention.
Ordinary life becomes remarkably interesting when we're actually present for it.
In This Episode
The Myth of "Me" | Scott Flynn on “I Am,” Consciousness, the Pursuit of Your Bliss and the Illusion of Separateness,
Saison 3 · Épisode 23
dimanche 27 septembre 2026 • Durée 01:09:39
What if the person you think you are isn’t actually the deepest version of who you are?
Fair warning: this episode may require a little mental stretching.
In this episode of The Story of Us, Jeff Ellison sits down with Scott Flynn for a fascinating exploration of non-duality, consciousness, identity, suffering, happiness, and one of humanity’s oldest questions:
Who am I?
Scott’s journey didn’t begin in a monastery or philosophy classroom. He was a successful builder when the housing crash sent his life into a tailspin. Although his business survived, the experience left deep wounds and launched what he describes as a 15-year search to become happy again.
He explored yoga, meditation, therapy, medication, psychedelics, spiritual teachers, and eventually the ancient teachings of Advaita Vedanta. What began as an attempt to escape suffering became something very different: a journey back toward himself.
At the center of Scott’s philosophy is a deceptively simple idea:
Maybe we aren’t as separate as we think we are.
Scott challenges the assumption that each of us is an isolated self moving through a world of other isolated selves. Instead, he invites us to investigate the experience beneath our thoughts, identities, achievements, relationships, and stories.
In This Episode
Scott’s “dark night of the soul” after the housing crash
His 15-year search for happiness
What non-duality actually means
Why our sense of a separate self may be an illusion
The classic snake-and-rope analogy
Why suffering is connected to identity
The difference between thoughts and awareness
Advaita Vedanta and the idea of “I am”
Why Scott says Descartes got “I think, therefore I am” backwards
Happiness, peace, bliss, and
13:18 A car accident, a new path, and a son on the autism spectrum
18:03 From Prague to a farm in Scotland
19:30 Jeff's memories of Prague
20:31 What she first had to understand about herself
23:22 Why childhood shapes us so profoundly
26:35 The biggest misunderstanding about trauma
28:40 Why hope matters most
29:49 Trauma is an explanation, not an excuse
32:33 When trauma becomes identity: the five pillars of self
35:18 What the pandemic stripped away
36:41 The steps of ascendance
40:48 What freedom feels like
43:28 Her website and the Ascendance intensive
44:18 Her book, Purposeful Parenting
48:54 History as a record of trauma
50:58 Breaking the cycle between generations
51:38 The LOVE framework for parents
53:10 The power of saying sorry
55:25 One thing to take away: you're not broken
56:01 Advice to a younger Barb: you're allowed to cry
57:38 A message to a 149-year-old Barb
58:37 Closing: our past may explain us, but it doesn't define us
Mentioned in this episode
• Purposeful Parenting by Barb Varcl Smith (coming this autumn)
• The steps of ascendance and the five-day Ascendance intensive
• Václav Havel and Prague in 1968
Keep the conversation going
• Find Barb, her videos and the steps of ascendance: your-steps.co.uk
• Letters From the Middle of It All, Jeff's free weekly letter: thestoryofusproject.com/blog
• New here? Start with these episodes: thestoryofusproject.com/start-here
• Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@TheStoryofUswithJeff
This conversation is for reflection, not medical or mental health advice. If you're struggling, please reach out to a licensed professional. In the U.S., call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
If this one helped you see yourself a little more gently, share it with someone who needs to hear "you're not broken," and follow the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It's the single biggest way new listeners find us.
The Story of Us with Jeff Ellison. Real People. Real Stories. Real Wisdom.
5:13 Losing his father at eight: "Take care of your mom"
8:19 The cost of steeling yourself against grief
9:34 What a good family gives a child
13:29 A son crossing America by bike, a daughter in Taiwan
14:51 Raising children: "a spiritual effort" to learn to walk
15:57 Did he always believe?
16:28 The agnostic years
17:31 Hitting bottom and praying again
18:56 "Bring me someone to love": meeting his wife
21:29 Right and wrong, and finding a church
22:57 Where do beliefs come from?
27:43 The unexamined life and the filters we never notice
30:49 Is truth relative or absolute?
33:34 What is a worldview? The TAKES model
37:33 A worldview with God, and one without
41:08 Are we getting better, or just more advanced?
43:31 Can humanity save itself? Genesis and human nature
48:36 What the church got tragically wrong
50:40 What the church got gloriously right
51:43 Why are we here? Love in ordinary moments
54:55 His book, Why Not God?, and where to find Charles
Mentioned in this episode
• Why Not God? by Charles Mastroni (Emerald Lake Books)
• Socrates: "The unexamined life is not worth living"
• Letters From the Middle of It All, Jeff's free weekly letter: thestoryofusproject.com/blog
• New here? Start with these episodes: thestoryofusproject.com/start-here
• Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@TheStoryofUswithJeff
• Instagram: @thestoryofusinsta
Whatever your worldview, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, agnostic, atheist or still searching, share this with someone you'd love to talk to about why we believe what we believe, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It's the single biggest way new listeners find us.
The Story of Us with Jeff Ellison. Real People. Real Stories. Real Wisdom.
17:02 Why she named her podcast Growing Up Late
19:13 Who am I without the title?
20:16 Trying on a new life in Arkansas
22:24 Her message to women: things are falling together
24:12 Money and sovereignty: reality is still true whether you look or not
26:53 Learning money the hard way, and sharing the shortcuts
30:51 Joseph Campbell and the many hero's journeys
32:29 Is it ever too late? "Never."
34:13 Why change scares us, and answering the call
36:59 Open the box: advice for your next chapter
38:40 Joy versus happiness
42:25 A bigger box
44:02 How to find Jeannie
45:41 Advice to a younger Jeannie
47:20 A message to a future Jeannie
50:00 Closing: maybe growing up never ends
Mentioned in this episode
• Growing Up Late, Jeannie's podcast
• Joseph Campbell and the hero's journey
• "The Weight of 50" and "The Stranger in the Mirror," Jeff's reflections at thestoryofusproject.com
If this conversation meant something to you, share it with someone who needs permission to begin again, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It's the single biggest way new listeners find us.
The Story of Us with Jeff Ellison. Real People. Real Stories. Real Wisdom.
Fatherhood, he says, opened his heart differently and taught him that:
“Love is not just a feeling...it's an act. It's a verb.”
Maybe that's true far beyond parenting. Love is listening. Showing up. Forgiving. Serving.
Remaining present.
Sometimes it's staying with someone through a difficult moment without trying to fix them.
And sometimes it's offering ourselves the same tenderness we so readily offer another person. Adam describes learning to become the loving presence for ourselves that we may not have had during painful moments earlier in life.
We spend so much time searching for wisdom somewhere else. But maybe the monastery was never somewhere else.
Maybe it's our relationships.
The misunderstandings.
The tenderness.
The disappointments.
The forgiveness.
The child who needs us when we'd rather stay in bed.
The ordinary Tuesday evening around the kitchen table.
Maybe love isn't the reward waiting at the end of the spiritual journey.
Maybe love has been the journey all along.
If this conversation resonates, share it with someone you love, follow The Story of Us, and visit TheStoryOfUsProject.com to subscribe free to Letters from the Middle of It All.
Self-acceptance as a path toward self-love
Using ancient wisdom in modern everyday life
One of the most powerful moments comes when Erick describes realizing how much his self-worth depended on another person's opinion of him.
So he tried an unusual exercise. He wrote down everything he didn't like about himself.
Then he looked at each item and asked: Can I accept this about myself?
What he discovered was that self-love didn't have to be the first step.
Sometimes acceptance is enough to begin.
Erick also offers a wonderfully forgiving description of Stoicism:
“There's no purity test. There's just progress.”
The goal isn't perfection. It's practice.
Maybe that's why this philosophy has survived for thousands of years.
Technology changes. Empires rise and fall. But human beings continue wrestling with anger, fear, uncertainty, disappointment, mortality, meaning, and the desire to live well.
Erick's invitation is to begin with what is actually yours:
Your choices. Your actions. Your character.
Learn more about Erick, Stoic Coffee Break, his courses, and his work at Stoic.Coffee. His book, Stoicism 101, is available through major booksellers.
Visit TheStoryOfUsProject.com, follow the show, and subscribe free to Letters from the Middle of It All.
And if you know someone who needs to hear this conversation, send it to them.
Because the good life isn't found by controlling the world.
It's built by learning how to navigate it wisely.
we
How social media strips away nuance and human context
Using technology to reconnect instead of divide
Why deep listening matters
The original mission behind The Story of Us
Preserving human stories as a kind of modern handprint in time
Why understanding someone does not require agreeing with them
The invitation is simple: Tell me your story.
Not so we can determine which box you belong in.
Not so we can decide whether you're on the right team.
Simply so another human life can be understood a little more fully.
Because contempt has a much harder time surviving genuine human connection.
And there may be no more important challenge right now than making the word “us” bigger.
Want to Be a Guest?
The Story of Us is not looking only for famous people, authors, experts, or influencers.
We're looking for real human beings with real stories.
You don't need a book to promote, a business to sell, or a perfectly polished message.
You may be exactly the kind of guest we're looking for.
And maybe ask someone in your own life one more question than you normally would.
Because perhaps the way out of a culture of contempt isn't proving that we are right and they are wrong.
Maybe it's remembering that the most important word was always: We.
Starting as an enlisted private and learning to lead
Why education became essential to his growth
The difference between control and influence
Why aspirations without training aren't enough
Self-awareness as the foundation of meaningful change
Understanding personality, aptitude, strengths, and weaknesses
How groupthink and inherited beliefs create blind spots
Developing a “beginner's mind”
Why knowledge without application becomes background noise
The difference between self-help and self-improvement
Why small actions matter more than grand intentions
Physical and mental health as essential parts of self-mastery
One of Reed's most practical lessons is wonderfully uncomplicated:
Don't overcomplicate it.
When asked what he would tell his younger self after more than forty years of learning, leading, succeeding, and failing, Reed says:
“Find your fit, stay true to your values, and let it go.”
And his advice for his future self is even more fundamental: Take care of yourself.
We spend enormous amounts of energy trying to change our circumstances.
But lasting transformation often begins somewhere closer to home.
Reed's book Train to Change: Phase One, Self-Masteryis available through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other booksellers.
Visit TheStoryOfUsProject.com, follow the show on social media, and subscribe free to Letters from the Middle of It All.
And if this conversation makes you think of someone navigating a season of change, send it to them.
Because before we can master circumstances, careers, organizations, or outcomes, we have to begin the lifelong work of mastering ourselves.
Growing up as a first-generation Polish American
Feeling caught between two identities and cultures
Inheriting resilience, work ethic, and the instinct to keep moving
Following the traditional path into corporate life
Knowing something isn't right before having language to explain it
The difference between conditioning and authenticity
Ego, awareness, and learning to trust yourself
Spiritual awakening and transformation
Intuition, synchronicity, and discernment
The Alchemist and having the courage to follow your own path
Finding wonder in ordinary life
Why presence changes what we're capable of noticing
When asked what she would tell the little girl she once was, Monika's answer is beautifully simple: “You're not alone...you are loved.”
And her message to her future self isn't advice at all.
It's gratitude: “Thank you for guiding me.”
Maybe that's the question this conversation leaves behind:
Are you living from your truth—or from your conditioning?
The next time life feels crowded by expectations, responsibilities, and everything you're supposed to become, pause.
Instead of asking, What should I do?
Try asking: What feels true?
Because perhaps the journey isn't about becoming someone else.
It's about becoming fully yourself.
If this conversation resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear it, follow The Story of Us, and visit TheStoryOfUsProject.com to subscribe free to Letters from the Middle of It All.
One story. One conversation. One human life at a time.
Sat Chit Ananda
Letting go of identities without abandoning ordinary life
How non-duality can change relationships
Rediscovering childlike wonder
Why we may need to stop becoming and simply be
One of the most beautiful parts of Scott’s message is what happens to relationships when the perceived distance between ourselves and others begins to soften. He describes everything becoming more intimate, with something almost childlike returning to our experience of the world.
And his final thought may be the simplest summary of this very complex conversation:
“We’re out in the world trying to become. This is ending becoming and just being who you are.”
This isn't an episode you necessarily need to agree with.
It isn't even one you need to completely understand the first time through.
Stay curious. Keep an open mind. Let the ideas simmer.
Somewhere between consciousness, identity, infinity, a snake that turns out to be a rope, and Descartes apparently getting things backwards, you may just find your own aha moment.
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If this conversation stretches the way you think about yourself and the world, send it to another curious human.
