Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast The Real Weird Sisters: A Harry Potter Podcast

Our Real Weird Queen makes her first appearance on One Page at a Time, and Alice and Martha stand with Parvati and hope she stays, that woman! Malfoy does some sniping, Harry defends Hagrid, and the girls get a chance to bond with the unicorns on the 440th page of Goblet of Fire.

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Follow Alice and Martha up close as they dive into the Dementor's maw, and Harry almost gets his first kiss. On this episode of One Page at a Time, explore dementors' origins and Mary's questionable wardrobe choices for Harry. 

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Happy birthday, Shandy and Alicia! That's right, Alice and Martha's second task prediction came true as Harry fights off green-bearded mermen to be a hero. What are the other champions playing at??

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Alice and Martha return to One Page at a Time to discuss Ron's arachnophobia origin story and Myrtle's gloomy bathroom. Plus, join the sisters on a deep dive into the history of the teddy bear! 

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Get out your Quick Quotes Quill! Alice and Martha resume conversation about Rita Skeeter in the fifth, sixth, and seventh books. From her one quality interview of Harry to her remarkably quick 900-page book on Dumbledore, the beetle isn't kept at bay very long! 

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Special guest Shut Up Tim joins Alice and Martha again to discuss another riveting five minutes! Dumbledore gives an impassioned warning to the students, Rupert Grint tricks Daniel Radcliffe into some actual acting, and McGonagall catches Roger Davies making questionable choices.

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss everyone's favorite "journalist," Rita Skeeter, as she makes her first appearances of the series. From her coverage of the events at the World Cup to her slander of Hermione, Harry, and Hagrid, Rita makes a splash in the fourth book!  

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Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss the minute Tim thought was supposed to be on the last Take Five, as well as the four minutes after that! Draco breaks Harry's nose very convincingly, Luna practices mending bones, and Flitwick doesn't recognize Harry (or does he?). At least that's what we assume happens - no one can be sure because you can't actually see much! 

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Who is the little old man with Harry's knobbly knees? Why is Harry's entire extended family dead? Does the Lily and James timeline even make sense? Alice and Martha discuss all the important questions about the Mirror of Erised on this week's One Page at a Time!

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Aunt Marge arrives at the Dursleys, who were damn good to take Harry in! Alice and Martha discuss Dursley family dynamics, Colonel Fubster, Ripper and more on this week's episode! 

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 

Alice and Martha return with special guest Shut Up Tim, who definitely understands the concept of five minutes and who takes copious noootes to prepare for each episode! There's some great writing and acting in these five minutes, as well as pygmy puffs, nargles, and Peruvian Instant Darkness powder!

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss the first of Hagrid's tales, as he tells Harry the story of Lily and James' murder with some interesting "insights" into what may have happened that night. Get ready for some amazing Hagrid impressions and even though they might have cookies, don't be tempted to go to the dark side! 

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Alice and Martha follow Harry and Dumbledore into a world entirely their own, as Dunderbore - sorry, Dumberton, meets young Tom Riddle for the first time. 

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Alice and Martha are once again joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss the next five minutes of Half-Blood Prince. Bellatrix and her real weird Cissy head to Spinner's End to make the Unbreakable Vow, Snape enjoys the summer by connecting with his Muggle roots, and Harry gets a taste of the Weasleys' Wonder Emporium. 

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

A little less Michael Gambon and a little more Hedwig makes for a slightly better five minutes for Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss this week! Harry makes his way to the Burrow, via side-along (?) apparition. You'd think Mrs. Weasley would know if Harry Potter was in her house, and you'd also think maybe she wouldn't encourage the kids to light random newspapers on fire in the house.. 

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Sirius dusts off his voice on this week's episode, as Alice and Martha enter the Shrieking Shack (mansion?) to hear all about how Sirius survived and escaped the very realistic Azkaban prison. Plus, Hermione manages not to be annoying, and Lupin enters teacher mode with some excellent classroom management skills.

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Alice, Martha, and SPECIAL GUEST Shut Up Tim discuss the second five minutes of Half-Blood Prince, which sees Harry taking Dumbledore's arm off to Budleigh Babberton, Dumbledore channeling his inner Sanguini, and David Yates quickly turning into David Yikes. 

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

How very right Alice and Martha were about the first single-digit One Page at a Time! "Jim Dale" gets to do the full narration this week, as Mr. Dursley drifts into an uneasy sleep and the cat on the wall doesn't move an inch (wow!). Dumbledore stomps down the Privet Drive runway, and while we're at it, we may as well do a deep dive into the origins of the street's name! 

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Nearly Headless Nick has his 500th Deathday Party upstaged by not only the Headless Hunt, but Myrtle and Peeves as well on this week's One Page at a Time! Find out whether or not Jacob's sibling is a ghost, whether or not Mary would be capable of drawing flying moldy peanuts, and which memes fit perfectly with this week's page! 

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Firenze comes galloping in to save Divination! Alice and Martha discuss his CGI movie portrayal, the likelihood of teenagers swooning over a centaur, and an "I love magic!" moment on this week's One Page at a Time.

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Did a veela send a blast out into the universe? Alice and Martha make some confident (not necessarily correct) assertions about the movie, forget to give a moral of the week, and test out lots of character impressions on this week's One Page at a Time! 

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Alice and Martha break down the most fun and hilarious page yet! Dumbledore senses traces of magic in a very mysterious manner, Harry brags about his fitness and his youth, and Voldemort once again fails to realize that physical pain is not the worst thing in the world. 

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Alice and Martha discuss the Dursleys' initial reactions to his first Hogwarts letter and dive into some interesting canonical lore that may or may not actually explain who is responsible for sending the letters. Hopefully you don't have to silently fight Dudley for a chance to listen at the keyhole to this episode! 

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Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are BACK, baby! They've been reckless in their time off, and so has Harry. This episode is sure to be very pretty, so take our arm and we'll be off! 

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are back to the third book, and someone's prediction has come true! Stanley (??) makes his first OPAAT appearance as "Neville", who outta read the papers more, finds out that Sirius isn't just a Muggle convict. 

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Malfoy is back to his old tricks of taunting the Gryffindor Quidditch team on this page which sets Ron's tragic Keeper arc into motion. Angelina manages to keep her cool, Harry shows off his athletic prowess, and Pansy takes lessons from Bellatrix. Alice and Martha recap the 291st page of Order of the Phoenix in this week's One Page at a Time! 

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In a rare twist, the pensieve is about to enter a world which is entirely our own, as Caractacus Burke recounts his memory of scamming poor Merope and (possibly) doing more than anyone else to set Voldemort for misery. Alice and Martha recap the 261st page of Half-Blood Prince in this week's One Page at a Time! 

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It's thestral time, baby! Harry, Neville, and Luna show off their thestral expertise while Ron, Hermione, and Ginny stand open-mouthed and staring in confusion. How are they meant to get on these things?? Plus, a OPAAT first, as this page is half GP art!

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It's time for Hagrid's first Care of Magical Creatures lesson for the year! Aided by his disheveled appearance, the ominous Forbidden Forest, and his shrieking cry, Hagrid's classroom management skills have never been better. Alice and Martha also announce this year's real weird March Madness bracket.

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Alice and Martha head back to the seventh book, where Harry and Hermione are about to find out the truth (?) about Dumbledore's friendships with both Grindelwald and "Dogbreath" Doge. Plus, find out if Chuck Knives prevailed and how Zach W. has been confirming his listenership! 

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Alice and Martha discuss page 328 of book 6 for the second time in a week! It's almost Christmas and Harry and Ron have a lot to discuss after Slughorn's party. Fred and George may be off to the muggle village, but Harry and Ron are the ones learning valuable lessons about hard work and perseverance.

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It's back to the Potions classroom this week, as Ron pays the price for sloppy chopping and Draco milks his "injured arm." Snape's just trying his best to be happy, can you blame him for wanting to teach Ron a lesson? (Alice and Martha can). 

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Alice and Martha return to Sorcerer's Stone for a unique Hermione and Ron POV page. Draco is full of witty jabs, Neville is full of amazing comebacks, and Ron is surprisingly composed. And yes, Snape's refereeing. 

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Dumbledore's phone is blowing up, Lucius is about to lose his servant, and Harry knows exactly where to look during this important exchange. Alice and Martha break down this surprisingly falling-action page of Chamber of Secrets. 

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Alice and Martha return to the Hospital Wing, where the remaining professors (who haven't been murdered like the headmaster) decide what to do with the school, even if there's not a monster in the bowels of the castle.

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Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim close the book on Mike Newell's magnum opus, discussing the credits of Goblet of Fire. 

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This week's episode features Snape's first speaking appearance, both in the books and in the One Page at a Time series. Alice and Martha discuss the wonderful pedagogy behind Snape's Potions lesson as well as Seamus's inherent charisma. Plus, find out which unlikely character is most like a bird!

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Something horrible has happened here! This page may not be pretty, but Alice and Martha find plenty to discuss about Slughorn's "murder" scene. Harry plays detective, Slughorn has to have his piano, Dumbledore is five steps ahead of everyone else, as usual. 

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Alice and Martha discuss Dumbledore's Tale at King's Cross. With so much dialogue from Dumbledore, this week is ripe with band an album name options! Plus, find out which MGP illustration would make an excellent Christmas tree topper, 

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We are back to celebrate the holiday season in the realest and weirdest ways possible. First, Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shandy to simulate a Secret Santa gift exchange with members of the Order of the Phoenix. Secondly (00:30:41), the sisters do a deep dive into all the mentions of the word "Christmas" in the Harry Potter series that do not include the classic Christmas gifts. And finally (01:01:56), Alice and Martha are joined by Shut Up Tim (@ShutUpTim) to Take Five minutes 55:00-60:00 of 2024's classic film Red One!

Thank you so much for listening to the show. We wish you a wonderful holiday season!

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Alice and Martha tell a group of second-year girls about Sirius's break-in - oh wait, that's Ron! From Sirius's ghastly visage to Ron's ability to make him scamper, Ron's tale is sure to impress on this week's One Page at a Time. 

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Harry's arm bones might not be back yet, but Dobby is! On this week's One Page at a Time, Alice and Martha discuss linguistics, magical medicine, house elves, and more. 

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Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to (nearly) wrap up Goblet of Fire! Some more amazing acting from the trio, including an amazing bounce-back to full spirits from Harry, along with some sentimental goodbyes from the lovely ladies of Beauxbatons and the gentlemen of Durmstrang round out Mike Newell's magnum opus. Don't worry, we'll be back to give the credits their full due on the next Take Five! 

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha return to the fourth book as Harry prepares for the third task. A sweet moment from Ced, a not-so-sweet moment from Amos, and an almost non-existent moment from Mrs. Diggory take up the first half of the page, while Mrs. Weasley's reminiscing about the good ol' days of Ogg and Bill simply being cool take up the second half. Plus, a cameo from Michael Gambon - what more could you ask for? 

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Alice and Martha continue to strike seventh book gold as they discuss another chapter from "The Goblin's Revenge." Ron's unreasonable and irascible mood dominate this page as the trio discusses all of their deep inside knowledge that could help them track down the horcruxes, including the lightbulb moment that Voldemort was educated at Hogwarts! 

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Alice and Martha return to the thrilling page sequence in Sirius's bedroom. A shady reference to Muriel, a (Hermione voice) "Harry" and a possible hint of Bucky's presence? What more could we ask for??

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Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim discuss the 28th five minutes of Goblet of Fire, which includes the reveal of the real Moody and a special bonding moment over shared scars, all of which is apparently extremely boring to Dumbledore.  

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Martha gets to practice her singing (and just so you know, she actually can carry a tune, unlike Slughorn) as Harry gets some implied help from Felix following Aragog's burial on this week's episode! Plus, find out which legendary character Odo the Hero is definitely based on and what Slughorn most likely did with the acromantual venom he procured. 

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Find out who Bathilda is (unless, like Harry, you've already figured it out), whether or not Godric's Hollow suffers from the Charity Burbage Effect, and why Snape may have a case for a lawsuit on this week's One Page at a Time. Alice and Martha's excitement for returning to the seventh book may or may not have been justified with this page! 

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Alice and Martha return to Grimmauld Place, where this crucial page includes plenty of dungbomb hilarity and... not much else! Don't worry, though, there are obviously plenty of unique adverbs and even a mention of dear old Crookshanks to keep us afloat!  

Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!