The Pursuit of Happywell – Détails, épisodes et analyse

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The Pursuit of Happywell

Kristen and Scott Boss

Éducation

Fréquence : 1 épisode/7j. Total Éps: 17

At The Pursuit of Happywell, we believe that happiness and success aren’t just destinations—they’re lifelong pursuits shaped by how we face challenges, setbacks, and everyday moments. Our mission is to break down the science of well-being and personal growth into practical, thought-provoking conversations that challenge conventional wisdom. Each week, we explore the big questions through cutting-edge research, real-life stories, and candid discussions, empowering you to build a life you truly love—one rooted in resilience, purpose, and lasting fulfillment.

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Données mises à jour le 04/07/2026

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http://www.livehappywell.com/
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http://sonderalife.com/podquiz
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Ep. 16 Socially Acceptable Addictions: How “Good” Habits Can Secretly Harm You

Épisode 16

lundi 30 juin 2025 • Durée 46:16

What if your morning iced coffee, non-stop productivity, or daily scroll sessions were less about comfort and more about quiet compulsion? In this thought-provoking episode, Kristen and Scott Boss dive into the sneaky world of socially acceptable addictions—the habits we justify, celebrate, and even admire… but may be slowly sabotaging us.

They unpack how culture often applauds behaviors like workaholism, exercise obsession, caffeine dependence, people-pleasing, and overcommitting—all while ignoring their deeper roots in stress, avoidance, and unmet emotional needs.

This episode isn’t about shame—it’s about self-awareness. Tune in for practical questions to reflect on your own habits, real talk about coping vs. thriving, and gentle reframes to help you build a life that nourishes rather than numbs.

What You'll Learn:

How to tell the difference between nourishing routines and numbing rituals
The concept of emotional sobriety and how to practice it
Why the “dose makes the poison” in socially praised behaviors
How to shift from compulsive habits to identity-based choices
The importance of pausing and getting curious without judgment

Your Happywell Homework:

Pick one “harmless” habit this week. Pause it for a day or two. Notice what comes up. Reflect with curiosity, not criticism.

Links & Mentions:

Atomic Habits by James Clear
Addiction and Grace by Gerald May
Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke

Loved the episode? Tag us on social (@pursuitofhappywell)and share your favorite aha moment!

Subscribe so you never miss an episode of The Pursuit of Happywell.

Take the Free Quiz:

Discover your unique stress response and how it may be holding you back here: sonderalife.com/podquiz

Timestamps:

0:00 – Intro: Is your iced coffee a quiet compulsion?
1:55 – Exploring stress types and why we seek comfort
5:16 – What makes an addiction "socially acceptable"?
8:09 – Workaholism: Hustle culture disguised as dedication
10:04 – Exercise obsession: Discipline or dopamine?
11:17 – Caffeine dependence: When stimulation masks exhaustion
13:32 – Doomscrolling & digital compulsions
14:58 – People-pleasing and the addiction to approval
15:15 – Overcommitting: Running from stillness
18:44 – The emotional cost of avoidant habits
21:25 – Emotional sobriety: Feeling without fleeing
22:41 – The dopamine loop: Why quick fixes leave us empty
24:56 – Self-justification and the “moral license” fallacy
28:24 – Burnout, dissociation, and long-term impact
31:16 – 5 questions to reflect on your habits
35:33 – Reaction-based vs. identity-based habits
39:00 – The power of pausing and self-awareness
41:52 – Happywell Homework: A gentle curiosity practice
45:00 – You are allowed to change your rhythm

We also have an active community for listeners of The Pursuit of Happywell. Join our community on facebook: The Pursuit of Happywell Community or find the website at

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Ep. 15 Why Success Scares Us More Than Failure

Épisode 15

lundi 23 juin 2025 • Durée 45:58

Episode Summary:

What if it’s not failure you’re afraid of—but success? In this deep-dive episode, Scott and Kristen unpack one of the most overlooked mindset blocks: the fear of success. Whether it’s the pressure to maintain, fear of visibility, or anxiety around losing relationships, success can stir up just as much fear as failure—and sometimes more.

Drawing from personal stories, coaching experiences, and the latest psychology research (including insights from the Harvard Grant Study), Scott and Kristen break down the subconscious behaviors that show up when success feels unsafe. Think procrastination, underdelivering, quitting early, or constantly shifting goals. Sound familiar?

You’ll learn:

The three hidden fears behind fear of success
How to recognize if you’re self-sabotaging
Why your stress response matters—and what to do about it
Tools to create internal safety and finish what you start

Plus, get a peek into Kristen’s emotional journey from hairstylist to online educator—and the identity shifts that came with it.

Take the Free Quiz:

Discover your unique stress response and how it may be holding you back here: sonderalife.com/podquiz

Timestamps:

0:00 - What if everything you’ve been told about happiness is wrong?

1:42 - Introducing the fear of success

4:26 - Why success can feel destabilizing

8:47 - Loss aversion and identity shifts

13:35 - Three hidden fears behind fear of success

18:33 - Subconscious behaviors and stress responses

27:20 - Under-delivering to protect your ego

Ep. 14 Compassionate Boundaries: How to Set Limits Without Guilt

Épisode 14

lundi 16 juin 2025 • Durée 53:13

Do you break out in hives at the thought of setting a boundary? You’re not alone—and this week’s episode of The Pursuit of Happywell is a must-listen. Scott and Kristen dive deep into the emotional minefield of boundary-setting and reframe it as an act of kindness, connection, and self-respect—not cruelty.

Building on last week’s episode on conflict resolution, this conversation explores:

Why so many people fear setting boundaries
How people-pleasing, identity, and fear of rejection keep us stuck
The difference between reactive boundaries vs. compassionate clarity
Real-life examples in marriage, parenting, work, and friendships
How to communicate boundaries without controlling or withdrawing
The pivotal role of self-boundaries in preventing burnout and building trust

With personal stories, powerful analogies (like dogs testing invisible fences), and practical takeaways, this episode is both soul-nourishing and eye-opening. If you're ready to stop abandoning yourself for the sake of “keeping the peace,” this one’s for you.

Key Takeaways:

Boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re gates with keys you offer out of love and clarity.
A healthy boundary is one that helps you stay your most whole, functional self.
You can’t set boundaries with others if you constantly violate your own.
Healthy people respect your boundaries; people who benefited from your lack of them will test them.
Boundaries evolve with seasons—evaluate and adjust with intention, not guilt.

If this episode resonated with you, don’t keep it to yourself! Share it with a friend, leave a review, and hit that subscribe button. Have a boundary breakthrough? Comment on YouTube or tag @thehappywell on social media and tell us about it.

And take the free Stress Type Quiz to discover your go-to stress response and learn how to manage it better. sonderalife.com/podquiz

We also have an active community for listeners of The Pursuit of Happywell. Join our community on facebook: or find the website at

Timestamps:Guest/Host Info:

Ep. 13 The 3 Words That Can Diffuse Almost Any Argument

Épisode 13

lundi 9 juin 2025 • Durée 45:02

The 3 Words That Can Diffuse Almost Any ArgumentEpisode Overview:

What if three simple words could change the entire trajectory of a conflict? In this powerful and vulnerable episode, Scott and Kristen Boss unpack the surprising phrase that has the potential to de-escalate tension, regulate your nervous system, and build stronger connections — whether you're in a romantic relationship, navigating friendships, or managing tough conversations at work.

Drawing from personal experience and psychological insight, they explore why conflict escalates, how our stress responses shape our reactions, and what it takes to “fight clean.” Whether you tend to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn, this conversation will help you recognize your own patterns and give you practical tools to stay connected — even in the messiest moments.

What You'll Learn:

Why “Help me understand” is the ultimate de-escalation phrase
The 4 types of stress responses in conflict: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn
How childhood and family dynamics shape your conflict style
What “fighting clean” really looks like in a healthy relationship
The science behind emotional regulation and effective communication
How to use curiosity to stay connected and create space for repair

Real-Life Moments & Relatable Humor:

Expect heartfelt storytelling, moments of laughter (yes, including “spirit fingers”), and honest reflections from Scott and Kristen’s marriage and parenting experiences. You’ll walk away with a new lens on conflict and feel equipped with language that fosters deeper understanding.

Happy Well Homework:

Reflect on a recent conflict — what was your stress response?
In your next tough moment, take a breath and ask: “Help me understand.”
Practice using the phrase in everyday conversations to build your curiosity muscle.

Resources Mentioned:

Take the free Stress Type Quiz to discover your go-to stress response and learn how to manage it better. sonderalife.com/podquiz

Timestamps:

Ep. 12 “Why Am I Like This?” — Understanding Your Hidden Stress Response

Épisode 12

lundi 2 juin 2025 • Durée 44:01

Episode Summary:

Ever find yourself asking, "Why am I like this?"—especially when old habits creep in, despite your best efforts to change? This episode dives into the hidden patterns driving your behavior, especially in moments of stress.

In this lively and relatable conversation, the hosts break down the four core nervous system stress responses—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn—and how they manifest in everyday life, from procrastination and perfectionism to people-pleasing and overworking. You’ll learn how these instinctive reactions influence everything from your personal goals to your relationships and leadership at work.

This isn’t about fixing who you are—it’s about understanding how you respond to stress so you can pause, regulate, and make more aligned choices. The hosts also introduce a powerful new tool: the free APT (Adaptive Personality Type) quiz to help you identify your stress response and learn practical, personalized tools to regulate it.

What You'll Learn:

Why common behaviors like procrastination or overcommitting are actually stress responses
The difference between reacting and responding to stress—and why that matters
How stress patterns show up in business, relationships, parenting, and personal growth
The four main stress responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) and their deeper subtypes
How awareness of your "adaptive type" can transform your habits and relationships
Why emotional resilience might just be the key to a truly successful life

Key Takeaways:

You’re not broken—your patterns are protective responses wired for safety.
Each stress type requires different tools; growth isn’t one-size-fits-all.
The pause between a trigger and your reaction is where real change begins.
Emotional regulation is one of the most underrated skills for personal and professional success.

Resources & Links:

Take the Free APT Quiz: sonderalife.com

Ep. 11 Toxic Productivity: When Getting Things Done Becomes Self-Harm

Épisode 11

lundi 26 mai 2025 • Durée 41:23

In this powerful and introspective episode of The Pursuit of Happywell, hosts Kristen and Scott dive into the culturally normalized trap of toxic productivity—the relentless drive to produce at the cost of your wellbeing. They explore how productivity becomes harmful when it's used to outrun shame, anxiety, or a fear of stillness, and why rest isn't laziness, it's necessary.

Through candid storytelling and relatable insights, they unpack how hustle culture is subtly rewarded and how society often praises the very behaviors that are emotionally and physically depleting us. Kristin shares vulnerable reflections on her personal journey with burnout, shame-driven work habits, and the process of redefining success through rest, restoration, and presence.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for taking a break, equated your worth with your output, or struggled to slow down without spiraling into self-criticism, this episode will resonate deeply.

What You’ll Learn:

What toxic productivity is and how it masquerades as success.
Why slowing down feels unsafe for many people—and how to reframe rest as productive.
How cultural and internalized narratives feed the hustle and prevent healing.
The science behind our stress responses and the importance of psychological safety.
Practical steps to protect your wellbeing and shift away from soul-draining productivity.

Key Takeaways:

Toxic productivity is self-harm disguised as achievement.
Culture reinforces the idea that “busy” equals “worthy.”
Rest is not laziness—it’s how we protect the asset: ourselves.
Stillness is deeply uncomfortable at first, but essential for healing.
New life metrics rooted in peace, meaning, and presence are the antidote.

We also have an active community for listeners of The Pursuit of Happywell. Join our community on facebook: The Pursuit of Happywell Community or find the website at LiveHappywell.com

Timestamps:

Ep. 10 Dream or Drain? The Rise of the Intrapreneur

Épisode 10

lundi 19 mai 2025 • Durée 52:00

Episode Summary:

In this powerful and truth-packed episode, Kristen and Scott Boss challenge the glorified narrative of entrepreneurship that’s been sold to so many—especially in the age of hustle culture and Instagram highlight reels. Not everyone is made to be an entrepreneur, and that’s not a flaw. In fact, it could be your biggest strength.

If you've ever felt burned out by building a business, questioned whether you're "wired for this," or wondered if there's a better way to do fulfilling work without the crushing pressure of being your own boss, this episode is your sigh of relief.

They break down the common myths that sell a glamorized version of entrepreneurship—like "be your own boss," "work when you want," and "do what you love"—and expose the real stressors that come with the entrepreneurial life, including decision fatigue, emotional isolation, identity fusion, and uncertainty overload.

Then, they introduce a refreshing and empowering alternative: the intrapreneur—the visionary team player who thrives within someone else's mission. You’ll discover the signs that you might be one and explore a list of exciting, flexible, high-impact roles you might have overlooked.

This episode is your permission slip to pursue meaningful work that energizes you—instead of draining you.

What You’ll Learn:

Why entrepreneurship might not be the right path for everyone—and why that’s okay
The sneaky myths that lead people into burnout and self-doubt
The real difference between entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs
10+ career paths where you can thrive without carrying all the risk
How to identify whether you're a firestarter or a firekeeper (and why the world needs both)
How to align your work with your strengths, energy, and season of life

Key Takeaways:

You don’t need to be a founder to change lives—you just need alignment and fulfillment.
Entrepreneurship can be for anyone, but not everyone should do it.
Intrapreneurs are the under-celebrated powerhouses behind every thriving business.

Timestamps:

Ep. 9 Money, Marriage & Meltdowns: Healing Financial Fights with Connection

Épisode 9

lundi 12 mai 2025 • Durée 52:26

What happens when the “money talk” in marriage goes sideways—like, full-on flop-to-the-floor dramatic? In this candid and often hilarious episode, your favorite husband-wife duo unpacks the deep emotional layers tied to money in relationships. From childhood money stories to budgeting meltdowns (yes, there was floor-throwing), they get real about how financial conversations became less contentious and more connective over the years.

This isn’t a budget spreadsheet how-to—this is the emotional psychology of how couples navigate money, power, autonomy, and values. You’ll hear about their first budgeting disaster, secret spending (ahem, Kohl's card), revenge buying, and ultimately how they found peace through shared vision, regular money dates, and understanding each other’s financial triggers.

What You’ll Learn:

Why 57% of divorces link back to money—and what you can do to avoid becoming that stat
How to identify and reframe your childhood money stories
The difference between budgeting for control vs. budgeting for connection
What “revenge spending” looks like and why it’s more common than you think
How to use “green light, yellow light, red light” decisions to prevent resentment
How to start having safe, emotionally intelligent money talks with your partner

Key Takeaways:

Money isn’t just about dollars—it's about emotional safety and autonomy

Consistent, low-stress money check-ins can be intimacy-building

Sharing a financial vision helps couples stop fighting and start dreaming

Timestamps:

00:01 – Why money is the #2 reason for divorce

03:00 – The first budgeting fight (feat. a dramatic floor dive)

10:00 – How childhood shaped their views on money and control

16:30 – Spending vs. saving vs. shared vision

25:00 – Secret spending, autonomy, and “beauty budgets”

Ep. 8 Behind the Scenes: The Raw Truth About Starting Over

Épisode 8

lundi 5 mai 2025 • Durée 59:24

In this raw and candid behind-the-scenes episode, Kristen and Scott peel back the curtain on what it’s really like to start something new — together. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, changing careers, or simply stepping into a new life chapter, this conversation is for you.

They dive into the high hopes, uncertainties, and unexpected lessons that come when you're building from scratch — all while doing life alongside your spouse. With very little prep and a whole lot of heart, they share stories about startup challenges, unexpected arguments (like co-working chaos and company names!), imposter syndrome, hiring a team, and staying grounded when the doubts creep in.

This episode will inspire you to embrace uncertainty, trust the messy middle, and stay true to yourself even when reinvention feels scary.

In This Episode, You'll Hear:

Why uncertainty is a sign you're growing, not failing
The surprising emotional work behind launching a startup
How working with your spouse can be hilarious (and humbling)
What to do when imposter syndrome tries to sabotage your momentum
The power of redefining success and setting new "life metrics"
How they are intentionally building a mission-driven company without burning out

Key Takeaways:

Both excitement and doubt are normal when stepping into the unknown. Growth always brings resistance.
Building a company (or a new chapter) is more about intentionality and less about hustle.
You don't have to be an "expert" — sharing your experience with authenticity can be even more powerful.
Protect your energy by honoring your current season and capacity.
Moving from "me" to "we" thinking can transform how you experience change and leadership.

Episode Timestamps:

00:00 — Intro: Taking Big Leaps and Asking, "What Did I Just Sign Up For?"
01:30 — The Reality of Starting Over (With Your Spouse)
04:00 — Startup Expectations vs. Reality
06:50 — Our Funniest Fights While Building Together
12:30 — The "Uh-Oh" Moment That Made It Real

Ep. 7 Millennials and the Midlife Crisis: A Generational Shift

Épisode 7

lundi 28 avril 2025 • Durée 40:48

Did you know millennials are experiencing midlife crises between 30-45, much earlier than previous generations? In this illuminating episode, Scott and Kristen reframe what we've been calling a "crisis" and reveal why it might actually be your greatest opportunity for growth.

What you'll discover:

Why the traditional view of midlife crisis (sports cars and impulsive decisions) misses the deeper transformation happening
Carl Jung's powerful concept of the "two halves of life" and what each half is truly about
The difference between building your container (first half) and filling it with meaning (second half)
What happens when you cling to your first-half metrics while your soul is crying out for second-half depth
Two profound questions to help you navigate this transition with intention instead of panic

"Midlife is not about you going crazy. It's about you waking up to yourself and realizing what actually matters." - Kristen

Tune in to discover how shifting from "crisis" to "breakthrough" can transform this challenging transition into the most meaningful chapter of your life.

Share this episode with anyone wondering "is this it?" or contemplating a major life change without understanding the deeper shift happening underneath.

We also have an active community for listeners of The Pursuit of Happywell. Join our community on facebook: The Pursuit of Happywell Community or find the website at LiveHappywell.com

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