Here's the shocking thing about herpes- it's not a big deal. No really, it's not a big deal. It can seem that if you have herpes, that is just the story you need to tell yourself to make the sting of having an STI feel better. But here's the thing about having herpes, or any STI; suddenly you are forced into a world that is unfamiliar, and so you LEARN. You read. Research. Educate yourself. And suddenly you are shocked to learn that truly, this is not a big deal. 

After my diagnosis I thought my dating life was over. I knew nothing about herpes other than what I learned in a severely lacking education system that consistently fails us with sexual health information, and of course media. And so my scared little mind was flooded with the horrible images from google, the mean jokes I heard from movies and television, the jokes I heard from social settings. But then I educated myself, because suddenly this was MINE. I dove into the world of herpes information- everything from the CDC, WHO, social media accounts, magazine articles. If I am being honest, I thought I was going to be doom scrolling, reading horrible information that was going to validate my feelings of fear. Instead, I was faced with so many facts that blew my mind. I had NO clue what a large portion of the world's population has herpes. I had no clue that having herpes did not, in fact, mean the you were suddenly walking around with a constant herpes outbreak. I was shocked to discover how little of an impact it truly has on a person's everyday life, and especially their dating life.

There is a sense of empowerment when you realize those scary feelings were silly. That you are going to be ok. It is not that hard to turn it all around and feel quite confident with your diagnosis. And you will see that confidence, and positivity, everywhere throughout the sexual health social media accounts and media articles. And that is truly fucking FABULOUS. But this is where I casually stand up to insert a little HOWEVER in all this fabulousness....

While it is SO important to know that you are going to be ok with your diagnosis. That you are going to have a great and active dating life if you choose to. That your life is going to be barely affected by your herpes. It is also SO important to know that sometimes, it just fucking sucks. AND THAT IS OK. Seriously friend, it is ok if you feel like a badass with your herpes diagnosis, and also cry about your herpes diagnosis. 

I have had a very active and successful dating life since my diagnosis almost 6 years ago. I barely think about. I can easily and comfortably admit that I still get incredibly nervous when I have to have the disclosure discussion with a new partner, but I also get incredibly nervous when I have to talk to the lady at the cash register in the grocery store, so there's that. But I still can stand on pretty firm footing with my positivity and confidence while living with a positive status. But sometimes that confidence gets rocked. And it feels uncomfortable. And I think of some of the sexual health accounts I follow online, and all of their positivity surrounding herpes, and I feel almost ashamed that I am feeling bad about myself because of my diagnosis. It makes me feel alone. 

My goal is to make sure you truly know that having an STI is NOT a big deal, but that also, sometimes it DOES hurt. And that is so damn ok. And you are not alone if you are feeling this. And there is nothing wrong with feeling this. You are not alone- the thing is, most people just don't talk about the other side of things. Those damn uncomfortable things. So dammit, let's just get snuggled into the discomfort for a minute! Let's have a cuddle puddle with the uncomfy so that you can see that we have all felt this and you are not alone.

In this episode I discuss a herpes disclosure that was disappointing, and really rocked my confidence. It brought up so many feelings that really bothered me. It made me question how I could stand online and spew so much positivity surrounding the subject, while then crying on my couch in disappointment. I felt ashamed of myself, because the people I looked up to in the sexual health world never shared this side of things. Maybe I'm not good enough if I am letting this rock me like this. Maybe I should not have a platform where I share my stories if I can't keep my positivity about this. But then I thought, FUCK THAT. I just feel alone because they aren't talking about it. It doesn't mean they don't FEEL it. They are simply not sharing it. 

Join me in a conversation where I share how I disclose, why I disclose the way I do, how I handle a "rejection", and why we need to reframe the idea of it being a rejection at all; it is someone simply making a decision. I will share my personal story of a disclosure that left me in tears of disappointment, and why it is not productive to be upset with the person telling you no. I'll share my view on why I disagree with my friends that say "you are better off without them" simply because they were not comfortable sleeping with me. And we will explore the difference between someone making an informed decision to not sleep with you, versus someone making a decision based on misinformation. 

Be sure to explore my library of episodes for numerous discussions about the journey of having herpes, as well as the links below to some of my favorite social media accounts that educate on herpes and sexual health in general. And never, ever, be afraid to slide in my DMs if you have any questions about the topic. Don't forget...I'm your safe word! And if you are shy, you can also find a link below to ask questions anonymously.

Now let's go get weird!

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Social Media Accounts about Herpes & Sexual Health

Courtney Brame https://www.instagram.com/courtneybrame_/

Positive Results (this account is inactive, but has been one of my go-to’s for years) https://www.instagram.com/positive_results_us/

Safe Slut https://www.instagram.com/safe.slut/

Sexelducation https://www.instagram.com/sexelducation/

 

Herpes- Related Articles

Hello Wisp: Having Sex With Someone Who Has Herpes

https://hellowisp.com/blog/having-sex-with-someone-who-has-herpes?

World Health Organization: Herpes Fact Sheet 

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-viru

Hello Wisp: Which Major STD Isn’t Part of Normal Screening

https://hellowisp.com/blog/which-major-std-isnt-part-of-normal-screening

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PRETTY UNCOMFORTABLE PODCAST HERPES EPISODES:

Dating with Herpes: You are still f*cking fabulous…and absolutely f*ckable

https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-cpg8q-13818b1

 

Herpes Disclosures: Don’t Leave Your Partners Out in The Cold...You Need To Disclose If You Get Coldsores

https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-qajgc-13beab8

 

Herpes & OnlyFans: How An STI & An Adult Content Site Share The Same Stigmas & Why We Should Rethink Our Judgements

https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-bppsv-142fb5c

 

The B-Sides: A Partner’s Reaction to a Herpes Outbreak- Both Mine AND His

https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-69hxw-13beff8

 

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Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

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Pretty Uncomfortable | Facebook

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Pretty Uncomfortable | TikTok

https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

Pretty Uncomfortable | Website 

https://prettyuncomfortable.com

Tera Vee | Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

…….

ASK ANONYMOUSLY

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word.

https://ngl.link/tera_vee 

 

Consider this your formal invitation to my pity party. In this episode I sit down to discuss why I have had such a hard time producing more podcast episodes, how I like to indulge at my pity parties, and how I am learning to show up- even when I absolutely don't want to.

We all have moments, some longer than others, where we just can't. We just can't cope. We just can't put on a happy face. We just can't see the bright side of things. I am here to tell you that that is absolutely ok. But, does that mean that we should just not show up at all? No. Join me in exploring what a pity party looks like, and when is the time to end the party.

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Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

Pretty Uncomfortable | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/prettyuncomfortablepodcast/

Pretty Uncomfortable | Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088708004607

Pretty Uncomfortable | TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

Pretty Uncomfortable | Website  https://prettyuncomfortable.com

Tera Vee | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

…….

https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

In part 2 of "My Journey To Madness" we pick up where we left off from part 1. After a long and violent day, I find myself on the way to the emergency room, where I know I will inevitably then be sent to be admitted into a mental health facility. I bring you through the degrading process of being admitted into the facility, the dramatic decisions I made for myself once I got home, and how I chose to find the good within all of the wreckage.

In this episode I explore the ways that we ignore ourselves, and others, when we choose to stay in a relationship that we know we should end, how a poem that once brought me incredible sadness transformed into a permanent reminder of my beauty, and my belief that sometimes we need to break to an unrecognizable degree in order to become who we really are. 

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***SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES***

Never be afraid to reach out for help- it’s the bravest thing you will ever do…

 

Suicide Hotline- CLICK HERE https://988lifeline.org

Suicide Prevention Resources- CLICK HERE 

https://sprc.org

****

Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast and Tera Vee:

Pretty Uncomfortable | INSTAGRAM

Pretty Uncomfortable | FACEBOOK

Tera Vee | INSTAGRAM

Tera Vee | Website WEBSITE

…….

https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

In honor of premiering the first episode under the new name, The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast, I chose to get, well.....uncomfortable. 

In this raw and vulnerable episode I share a story that I have never publicly shared before. One that is, quite honestly, filled with a lot of shame and embarrassment, but also a story that is important to tell. 

In this episode I share my journey through my darkest days. It is a difficult story to tell, but it carries so many themes that we can all relate to- toxic relationships, carrying burdens alone, difficult decisions, loss and death, and  finding ourselves lost.

I share with you a story that begins when the covid shutdowns began, where in the midst of a quickly deteriorating relationship I am faced with the unexpected death of my mother, my biggest support system. Under the weight of numerous traumas, combined with a sleep-deprived mind and a malnourished body, my mind hit a breaking point. 

As things began to pile up and I could no longer bear the weight, things came to an explosive head on one fateful day that would change my life, and who I was, forever. 

 

***SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES***

Never be afraid to reach out for help- it’s the bravest thing you will ever do…

Suicide Hotline- CLICK HERE https://988lifeline.org

Suicide Prevention Resources- CLICK HERE 

https://sprc.org

*********

Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast and Tera Vee:

Pretty Uncomfortable | INSTAGRAM

Pretty Uncomfortable | FACEBOOK

Tera Vee | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Tera Vee | Website WEBSITE

…….

https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

"What?! YOU'RE single? I don't believe it!"

"You're too good looking to be single!"

"What is someone like you doing single? That seems impossible!" 

When did being single become such a terrible, shocking thing? And WHY? For many, being single shows strength. Strength that they are making their way through this crazy world, solo. For staying true to themselves and not settling for anything less than what they deserve. And YET. Many people will have a tone that quietly whispers with pity as they question why you are still single.

Referencing back to Episode 7 "Being Single On Valentine's Day" I discuss the difference with wanting a relationship, and needing a relationship, and why it is absolutely ok to be picky. Inspired by someone making one of the above comments to me after I talked about spending my weekends alone, I hopped onto the dating apps, camera recording, to bring you on my journey of swiping, so you could bear witness to my choice to be single. 

Sometimes, the dating world is just....rough. Sometimes our options are....limited. And sometimes, we just do not feel like dating. And again, THAT IS OK! Come join the conversation in this fun and lighthearted look at being the single friend, the joys of dating apps, choosing not to settle, and the friendly reminder to recognize your single friends for all that they are!

5 listener questions randomly selected, each answered in 5 minutes. 

In this episode I randomly select five questions that were sent from YOU! This was a fun episode that discussed everything from depression after a major surgery to how to get more confident with re-entering the dating world, and if I would sell pictures of my feet. Enjoy this mix of personal stories and advice. I enjoyed making this episode for you. I love the variety of serious and silly...I would expect nothing less from my little weirdos! 

3:37  #1. How Is Life After Surgery?

I discuss how life after a major back surgery took me by surprise with unexpected depression and self image issues.

8:30  #2. How Do You Force Yourself Back Into The Dating Scene When You're Nervous About Jumping Back In?

I share ways to beat the nerves when you are getting back into the dating world, why I get diarrhea before dates, and things that I do that have helped me in my dating journey.

13:34  #3. Do I Ever Consider Talking With Someone On Here (social media)?

This is a question that I get a LOT. I share my feelings on this topic, if I have ever met anyone that slid into my DMs, and why it makes me uncomfortable. 

18:51  #4. Do I Like Younger Guys?

Am I cougar? Absolutely. Let me tell you why I have a preference for men younger than me, what the largest age gap was of someone I dated, and what my favorite age is.

23:53  #5. Do I Sell Feet Pics?

Learn why you very rarely see the feet of adult content creators when they post on social media, my thoughts on selling pictures of my own feet, and what shoe size is. 

 

This was a fun episode to record! I loved the unpredictability of not knowing where the discussion would go, and I love all the questions you are submitting! Be sure to send me a DM on Instagram @tera_vee with any questions you would like me to discuss, or click the link below and you can send them anonymously. 

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Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

 

Pretty in Kink | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/prettyinkinkpodcast/

Pretty in Kink | Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088708004607

Tera Vee | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

Tera Vee | Website http://www.missteravee.com

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https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

Welcome to another B-Side episode! 

In this B-Side I revisit episode 29, where I discussed how difficult it can be for me to be complimentary to a partner. How I struggle with the feelings that come up when I show kindness to a partner. And how I was proud of myself for working to change that. 

Episode 29 aired on a Monday morning and then, that evening, I got a call that immediately pushed me right back into the headspace of saying fuck vulnerability. Fuck showing affection. This is why I stay guarded.

In this B-Side I share that though we can try so hard, and make so much progress, we can just as quickly fall back into old patterns...and that is OK! I share that I sometimes struggle with practicing what I preach, and how being not dumped but definitely dumped made me want to run back to my old thought processes.

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Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

Pretty in Kink | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Pretty in Kink | Facebook FACEBOOK

Tera Vee | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Tera Vee | Website WEBSITE

…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

Imagine this: you start a podcast. You brainstorm with a friend and end up with the most amazing name for your podcast. You love it. You want to roll around in it, fold it up and put it in your pocket to take it with you everywhere, you want to live inside the name. Ok ok, maybe I got a little excitable there, but you get the point. I love my podcast name. 

Pretty In Kink debuted in January 2023. I sit here today, a mere six months later, and I am planning a re-brand. WHAT the hell am I thinking??? Welcome to this B-Side episode, otherwise known as my informal staff meeting with all my Pretty In Kink weirdos, where I discuss what in the world is going on in my head to bring me to this decision.

Have I boxed myself in with the name Kink? Am I excluding listeners? Will I be limited to who will sponsor me, have me as a guest, or be a guest here? Am I going against absolutely everything I have been talking about by running from a controversial name?

Get your butt in this meeting so you can share your input (spoiler alert...I may not take your advice, but I still want to hear it!) and tell me if I am being crazy. Also, there are donuts and coffee in the break room and I will pay you overtime for attending the meeting. 

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All bloopers and caffeine zoomies are proudly sponsored by Brewed Monday Coffee. Go get some of this amazing coffee now so that you can join me in the zoomies!

…….

Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

Pretty in Kink | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Pretty in Kink | Facebook FACEBOOK

Tera Vee | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Tera Vee | Website WEBSITE

…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

Hey you! Yes, you. Look at you looking all gooood over there. You are looking GOOD today, has anyone told you that yet today? Hopefully they have...but I probably haven't. Over the years I have struggled with the simple act of complimenting my partners. It has created problems that should have been easy to fix...just give a damn compliment. Yet I couldn't.

I would be overwhelmed with the feeling of embarrassment if I tried to give a compliment. It left me with a feeling that I didn't like and so I started sitting with that, trying to figure out where that feeling was coming from, and WHY.

In this episode while discussing the importance of complimenting our partners, I take you on my journey as I start to realize where my reluctance to give a compliment comes from, how difficult past relationships shaped this habit, and how I have been working to tell you more often just how damn sexy I really think you are. Because dammmmn you're sexy!

Join the conversation as I discuss how a narcissist's behavior helped to shape this poor habit, how a history of being cheated on stopped me from giving affection, and why complimenting partners left me feeling so vulnerable.

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Drink Brewed Monday Coffee while you listen to my episodes, and let’s get the caffeine zoomies together! Shop Brewed Monday Coffee HERE

…….

Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

Pretty in Kink | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Pretty in Kink | Facebook FACEBOOK

Tera Vee | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Tera Vee | Website WEBSITE

…….

Ask anonymous questions! 

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be too shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

The classic friends with benefits scenario: have a friend, add some fun, and throw in a few orgasms with zero commitment. What could possibly go wrong?

A broken heart is sitting on the sidelines, just waiting to be called into the game. But I'm here to say that there is also the argument that a FWB arrangement can be exactly what someone needs to GROW their heart. To learn how to practice connection without that scary thing called commitment.

In this episode I discuss why someone may benefit from this type of sexual relationship, what the pros and cons are, and how to enter into a FWB relationship while ensuring that that sweet little heart of yours stays protected. I share my personal stories with how I have handled FWB relationships- why I chose this structure as an intentional way to date, when it went great for me, and when it left me crying into a bowl of ice cream. 

Psssst...you may also want to stick around for the bloopers. I seem to have been in rare form during this recording, so if you need a little smile, bloop bloop!

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Drink Brewed Monday Coffee while you listen to my next episode, and let's get the caffeine zoomies together! Shop HERE

…….

Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

Pretty in Kink | Instagram

Pretty in Kink | Facebook

Tera Vee | Instagram

Tera Vee | Website

…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

The G-Spot. Is it real? Is it not? Do we care? 

In this episode we explore the history of this elusive erogenous zone, and HOW to explore it. Once you find it, your partner (or yourself) may be screaming omGGGG!

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Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

Pretty in Kink | Instagram 

Pretty in Kink | Facebook 

Tera Vee | Instagram

Tera Vee | Website

…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

You have herpes. You KNOW sooo many other people have it. YET. You are still too nervous to openly discuss it with people in your life because you have heard the jokes, the judgements, the stigmas that make you feel embarrassed of something that is incredibly common.

You create adult content for the popular platform, OnlyFans. You know there are MILLIONS of others that also create on the site, and even more that purchase the content. YET. You keep that side of your life hidden from so many people because you have heard the jokes, felt the judgement from people that you thought loved you.

Stigmas can be a heavy weight to carry. And somehow it feels even heavier when you KNOW you are not alone, yet everyone still keeps themselves hidden in the shadows. 

In this episode I discuss how herpes and the adult content platform OnlyFans share more similarities than you may expect, and why it is important for us to learn to quiet our judgements when they arise so that we can look past them to see that there is so much more than what meets the eye. 

Join me as I discuss why the title of an article angered me and set in motion the comparisons that formed this episode, why I avoid telling people about my own adult content, and how ridiculously common both of these topics actually are

…….

Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

Pretty in Kink | Instagram

Pretty in Kink | Facebook 

Tera Vee | Instagram

Tera Vee | Website

…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! Let me be your safe word!

 

The silent treatment seems like a childish game...but it can have a heartbreaking effect on a person. It's easy to want to just ignore an uncomfortable situation, maybe you want to prove to your partner that your mad, so you will just ignore them, or maybe you become like a turtle in the face of discomfort and hide in your shell. 

Whatever the reason, it can be easy to forget what the effect of the silent treatment can do to a person. If you have anxiety, and then layer on a dose of the silent treatment.... oof. It's a tornado of overthinking and panic. 

In this episode I discuss why silence is not a boundary, and what simple steps you can take to step away from a situation in a healthy way, to allow yourself time to think before having as discussion. I also share my history with the silent treatment- both giving it and receiving it, and how I have worked to get better with my communication skills. 

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Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

Pretty Uncomfortable | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/prettyuncomfortablepodcast/

Pretty Uncomfortable | Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088708004607

Pretty Uncomfortable | TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

Pretty Uncomfortable | Website  https://prettyuncomfortable.com

Tera Vee | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

…….

https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

"You wouldn't go down a waterslide if it wasn't wet"...while researching for this episode I read this line and immediately knew there was no better way to get my point across.

Foreplay seems to be a bit of a lost art. Sure, there's some kissing. Maybe a hot little make out session. But the kind of foreplay that so many women need for their body to be READY? *ahem, wetting that waterslide* Men, I want you to get your notepads out for this one!

The problem starts with a lack of knowledge. How can we know, if we don't know? So many people do not have a full understanding of anatomy- both their partner's AND their own. If you don't understand anatomy, you won't understand your partner's pleasure points, and why they may need more time than you.

I have always learned best when I am first shown the WHY. So in this episode I want to show you WHY foreplay is so important, especially for a woman. I share with you in simple, relatable ways the way men and women's anatomy differs, and also the similarities in our arousal. 

Pull up a chair as I sneak you into my impromptu anatomy class to explain how adding foreplay into the mix can also lead to more orgasms. Because, again...dry water slide? Ew. NO.

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Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

Pretty in Kink | Instagram

Pretty in Kink | Facebook 

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Tera Vee | Website

…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

Dating can be exhausting. You meet. You have fun. Things get serious. And then BOOM you're crying alone on your bed on a Saturday night. You eventually wipe your tears away, get brave, and get back out there. But you get a sense of déjà vu as you are once again spending the weekend with your cat.

Ok, fine. Yes, I am describing my dating life. In this episode I discuss why my dating life was so unsuccessful, the lengths I went to in order to prevent myself from being hurt, and what I realized I needed to do if I wanted to change the way I felt about dating.

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Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

 

Pretty in Kink | Instagram

Pretty in Kink | Facebook

Tera Vee | Instagram

Tera Vee | Website

…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

In the same way that death comes when someone loses their battle with cancer, so too does death come when someone loses their battle with mental illness.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, which is a topic that lives close to my heart. I have had this episode on my mind since even before Pretty In Kink launched it's first episode in January. I wasn't ready for it. But the whole point of this podcast is to show you that when we discuss the uncomfortable things, we get more comfortable. 

The conversations that surround a death by suicide are interesting. They are unlike any other. When I lost my mother to an unexpected illness I was surrounded by comforting words. She fought so hard. She held on for so long. Heaven got an angel. She was so strong. She was such an amazing woman. When my brother died from suicide, I was told that he would burn in hell. That he was a terribly selfish person. That he thought of no one but himself. How dare he? What was he thinking? Our small town high school outright refused to lower the flag in his memory due to his death being from suicide. 

How can we ever expect people to feel safe to come forward and discuss their struggles, to reveal the level or darkness they are sitting in, if they run the risk of being vilified? Of being looked down upon as if they are weak. The conversations that we have, the judgements we lay upon people struggling with mental illness, have got to change. Mental illness is an illness that kills just as fiercely as cancer does. 

We need to start having compassion for those that are struggling. When we lose someone to mental illness their memory deserves the same level of compassion as those that die of any other illness. The words we choose live on. People hear them. And when they are grasping onto life, those words that they once heard do not give them comfort. They remind them that they are bad. It feeds the illness further and they become more and more reluctant to reach out. And the ones left in the aftermath? Those harsh words push them deeper into their grief isolation. They are mourning a very complicated loss while essentially being told that their person is bad for this tragic action. 

In this episode I share my personal experience with surviving the aftermath of my brother's suicide, the way the words of others hurt me, and my evolution from feeling anger turn to compassion. 

"The problem with how many are talking about tWitch's death" by Mel Robbins

***SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES***

Never be afraid to reach out for help- it’s the bravest thing you will ever do…

Suicide Hotline- CLICK HERE 

Suicide Prevention Resources- CLICK HERE 

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Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

Pretty in Kink | Instagram

Pretty in Kink | Facebook 

Tera Vee | Instagram

Tera Vee | Website 

…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

Porn can be a useful guide to exploring your sexuality, discovering new techniques, and unlocking new desires. But it should never be your rule book. It should not be an instruction manual. 

If your main point of reference for your sex life comes from porn there is a chance that you have been duped by the slight of hand that occurs so often with porn content. And if you have been duped by that razzle dazzle, there is also a chance that your partner is left feeling unsatisfied and unimpressed.

I am a proponent of porn, a fan of porn, and also a creator of it. But I am also aware of the illusion constantly being presented to its viewers. Men are the main consumers of porn, and the industry knows it. There is no denying the entertainment factor, and who doesn't love a little fantasy now and then? But when that fantasy becomes your unofficial sex educator you can miss the mark on how to be an attentive partner. 

In this episode I discuss the things that I wish we saw more of in porn, and give you a friendly reminder that what you see is not reality. I want to bring to the attention of men, especially, that they are being misguided. So much of adult content misses the mark with not highlighting that women deserve all that amazing pleasure as well. 

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Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

Last night you had the most amazing second date. Things went great and you can't wait to see them again, so you text them to tell them exactly that. You hit send, and your heart flutters in anticipation, waiting for them to respond that they feel the same. A couple minutes go by. Ok, maybe they're in the shower. You've made it to the afternoon, and still no response. Maybe they went out with a friend and they're just not glued to the phone.

The sun has gone down, the sound of those crickets coming from your phone just keep getting louder and you're left wondering, what happened? Did you say something wrong on your date. Did you offend them? They were SO nice, there is no way they would just ignore you.

Did you....did you just get ghosted?  It happens to the best of us. The temptation is strong to call the Ghostbusters and get some answers. It's natural to want to reach out again and again, to try to get some sort of an answer. Some sort of closure. But is it worth it? 

In this episode I discuss why people ghost, and why it can hurt so damn much. I also explore the idea that there are times that it may be ok to get a little paranormal and do some ghosting of your own, and I share situations where I chose to be the ghost, and why I felt I needed to. Come join the conversation and let me know your thoughts!

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Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

You were watching a movie the other night. And there was that super sexy scene...you know the one I'm talking about. The one that made you feel all tingly, that made you feel curious, made you think, "hmmm, I want to try THAT!" And now you are wondering- how can you ask your partner for this without being embarrassed. Or maybe you're with someone you just met at the bar. You want to tell them there's this thing you REALLY like, but you're nervous they might judge you, especially since you barely know them.

On the other end of the spectrum- your partner comes to you after watching a movie the other night, and they tell you they saw a scene that intrigued them. They want to try something new in the bedroom. Or you're enjoying a casual experience with someone new, and they tell you they have this thing that they're love for you to do. The way we react in these situations can have lasting effects.

How do we tell our partners that we want to try something new in the bedroom? And how do we react when our partners present a kink that makes us feel not so tingly?

In this episode I discuss what steps to take to introduce new kinks into the bedroom, as well as how to receive the information as the one being asked.  There is no right or wrong way for these conversations to happen. HOWEVER, there are a couple rules that should be followed- for both the person asking for something new, and for the one that is being asked.

Join the conversation as I share the different ways that I present my kinks to new partners as well as an experience I had that made me feel shamed for trying something new. I will share with you different steps to discuss these potentially uncomfortable topics, and the key to making it a fun and smooth experience. Because you know I love when you get weird, and I want to make sure you get to be weird in the bedroom too!

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Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

There are times in life that things just get...hard. Hard to stay positive. Hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hard to feel like you can make it through.

And then the internet tells you that you are not doing enough. Just meditate. Read that popular self-help book. Change your mindset. Practice gratitude. Get outside more. Focus on the good things. Journal. Meanwhile, you're just trying to get out of bed today. Suddenly you're thinking "Fuck, I should be doing more. It's my fault I am feeling this way." And then, on top of all the other dark feelings brewing in your mind, you can now add that you suck at self-care. 

I am here to tell you- FUCK THAT. Sometimes, simply brushing your teeth is a monumental accomplishment, and you need to congratulate yourself for that.

This is not a permission slip to not take care of yourself. This is not me telling you to sit in the dark and hide yourself away. What I am telling you is that sometimes it's ok to simply be not ok. It's ok to do the bare minimum until you can do a fraction more. And then a little more.

In this episode I give you a very raw and emotional peek into my current struggles and my feelings of drowning. I share with you the statement my therapist said to me that released a weight off of my shoulders. Two words that helped me more than anything else could in this moment.

With this episode I have chosen to minimally edit, leaving in the emotional moments that completely took me by surprise and caused me to give the occasional pause until I could gather myself. In a world that is flooded with highlight reels that help to make us feel worse about our own lives, I feel it is so important to share the other side. To show that you are NOT alone. And that we all struggle. So while it feels incredibly uncomfortable to share this episode with such raw moments not being edited out, it is also far too important not to. 

 

***SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES***

Never be afraid to reach out for help- it’s the bravest thing you will ever do…

Suicide Hotline- CLICK HERE 

Suicide Prevention Resources- CLICK HERE 

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…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

It's easy to fake an orgasm. We can make it pretty believable, I promise. Oh, you don't believe me? Go watch this classic scene from When Harry Met Sally. Go on, I'll wait. 

Ok, you're back. See? I told you so. But here's the problem, when we fake it all we're doing is tricking our partners into thinking they are hitting all the right spots. They walk away feeling heroic. The Master of O's. And so they come back and repeat the same actions. 

Over and over again this plays out. You walk away unsatisfied. They walk away feeling proud. But your partner isn't to blame. They're simply following your lead. So let's stop it already. It's time to take ownership of your sexuality and realize that the only way to get what you want is to ASK for what you want. Yup. I said what I said. You need to get comfy with the idea of *gasp* communicating.

Join me in a conversation on why faking orgasms is doing you absolutely no favors and how to take the steps to start getting pleasure in the bedroom. In this episode I also share my personal experiences with communicating with partners on how to give me an orgasm as well as share why I decided that I would never again let someone rob me of my orgasms.

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Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

You look in the mirror. You take a second look. You think "dammmmn" as you admire your reflection. And then you immediately feel guilty. You think, "I can't act like I'm a hottie, what will people think?" 

It has been ingrained in many of us that to shine bright is equivalent to showing off. That we should not proudly present those parts of ourselves that we feel good about, whether that is our appearance or our abilities. We've all been guilty of watching someone strut by, glowing in that main character energy, and quietly thinking "WHO do they think they are?"

I'm here to tell you that it is ok to toot your own horn. Building our self-esteem and self-confidence can be a catalyst to incredible changes in our lives- from improving your sex life to your social circle. 

Let's chat about the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence, how you can have one without the other, and what we can do to start feeling hotter and hotter and having our own main character energy.

Join me as I share how building my own self-confidence and self-esteem helped me to get out of toxic situations and why I'll never look back. I'll give you a hint...it's because we stop tolerating bullish*it when we realize WE are the sh*t.

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…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

The B-Sides...where I take content from the cutting room floor of the previous episode to share in a mini-episode.

Episode 15, The B-Sides:

In episode 15 we talked about if size matters. I touched on the fact that we also judge on another aspect of a man's size...his height. In this companion episode I expand on that, and what the dating world looks like for men as they are judged not just for penis size, but for their height, their bank account, their car.

Ladies, this mini-episode is for you. I challenge you to see things from a different perspective. To put yourselves in the shoes of the men out there, and then tell me how you would feel if we had the same experiences.

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"Hey, I know it's been a while since we've talked, and I'm really sorry to send you a message like this, but I just tested positive for chlamydia, so you should probably go get tested and see if you need meds."

No one wants to get a message like this. It's no fun sending that message either. But if you have sex, and especially unprotected sex, there is always a chance that you will send or receive one that is similar to this. And what do you do when that day comes?

In this episode you will join me as I process my own recent positive chlamydia test result and how it has effected me emotionally, what my conversations surrounding it looked like, and how my partner reacted to the news. Spoiler alert...it wasn't great.

I will shared how I told a past partner, my fears of telling my current partner, and how we can manage our emotions surrounding news like this while still showing respect to our partners. There are ways to express our anger and fears while still holding space for the other person.

--------------------------  Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

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Tera Vee | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee ……. https://ngl.link/tera_vee Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

After years and years of feeling insecure about my bra size, I scheduled an appointment with a plastic surgeon. And just like that, I had new boobs. I could suddenly feel more confident and comfortable in my appearance. 

But what happens if you aren't happy with the size of your penis? There is no easy solution, no quick fix. And so maybe you worry that you aren't enough. Maybe you are insecure with what you have hiding in your pants. You hear it everywhere; tv shows, movies, social media. Bigger is Better. Big Dick Energy. 

But is big actually better? In this episode I discuss this popular question, my thoughts on both big and small, and if it truly matters. I share my personal experiences, my favorite sex position, and give some tips on how to work with what you've got, and grow your confidence.

Come join me in the conversation and let's see if being big is actually that big of a deal.

The Coital Alignment Technique  | Positions If You Don't Have a Giant Penis

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Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

The B-Sides...where I take content from the cutting room floor of the previous episode to share in a mini-episode.

Episode 13, The B-Sides:

The nerves of telling a new partner about your positive herpes status. The surprise of him waking up after a date and he has a coldsore. The worry that, after planning a sleepover date, you have to tell him that you are having an outbreak and therefore sex would not be an option.

In this mini-episode I share the story of one partner who consistently surprised me with his reactions to uncomfortable situations.

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…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

You get coldsores. One pops up, and you get annoyed. Maybe you even vent about it to a friend or a coworker. And then it goes away. And you don't think about it again. You don't think it's a big deal. And you certainly don't think you need to tell a prospective sexual partner about the nuisance coldsores that you occasionally get. 

Except those coldsores? They are just a socially acceptable name for *gasp* herpes. Yes, coldsores are the same thing as herpes. I know, I know. Sit down for a minute while you absorb that information if you're feeling a little shook. It's not your fault if you are misinformed...most likely, the sexual education failed you, just like it has failed so many others. And the media? It definitely hasn't helped any either.

HSV-1, or oral herpes, somehow managed to get the privilege of being able to hide behind the word coldsores. AND YET. They are herpes. Plain and simple. Even a very popular brand that has over-the-counter products to alleviate symptoms of coldsores has a website that stresses the fact that if you have coldsores you should be informing your partners....YET NEVER MENTIONS THE WORD HERPES. Not once. 

Herpes is passed through skin to skin contact. Whether you have an active outbreak (sore) or not, you can still pass the virus. I know, I know...you're shook again, aren't you? It's ok, it's not your fault. Let me get you a tiny bit more shook...this means that if you get coldsores, even if you do not have an active sore, simply by kissing someone you can pass the virus to them. And that means kissing on the mouth, OR a little further south. 

In this episode I discuss the importance of disclosing if you get coldsores to potential partners and the hopeful signs of seeing more celebrity figures being more open about discussing getting coldsores. This topic also inspired me to share a conversation I had with a partner that forever changed the way that I view disclosures and how they should be handled.

Join me in this important conversation regarding taking ownership over our sexual health, and how to never let anyone make us feel like our positive status is a burden.

Ella Dawson TedX Herpes Talk: A MUST WATCH!

Herpes articles: Sex with Herpes | Herpes Statistics | No, You Probably Have NOT Been Tested For it

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Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

Ahhhhh, the blowjob. Men love it, and the givers? Well...for many, they'd rather go clean the baseboards than take part in this timeless sexual act. 

From a former BJ-hater to a proud Throat Goat, I want to show you that BJs don't have to be, and SHOULDN'T be, a chore. I want you to WANT to give them just as much as your partner wants to receive them. Because honestly? Can you imagine if our partners acted completely disinterested, or even worse, grossed out, while trying to pleasure US? No thank you!

It can be an intimidating act, and sometimes it can feel as though our partners aren't being very patient with us. But don't worry! I schooled them in Pt. 1 of The Art of The BJ to be more aware of our feelings, and to give us some tender loving care while we are giving them some tender loving down there. P.S. I also told them that it should be a reciprocal act, so I expect you to keep them accountable- get YOURS too!

But it takes two to tango, right? In Pt. 2 of The Art of The BJ I discuss ways that we, as the givers, can build our confidence, how to beat the insecurities, and embrace all the awkward and messy moments. I will teach you how to perfect the most amazing, stellar, BLOW his mind technique. The technique to end all other techniques...

...Spoiler Alert: It's enthusiasm! Easy peasy, right? I bet you thought I was going to tell you to shove a banana down your throat. Fine, spoiler alert...I tell you to do that too. Join me in a conversation on gaining sexual confidence and getting pleasure from giving your partner pleasure.

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Get yourself some Flintts Mints and get that mouth wetttt. Click HERE to check out my favorite mints to get my mouth wetter than wet! *not a sponsored post, I just legit LOVE these mints so much! 

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Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

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Ahhhhh, the blowjob. Man's best friend. The act that, for many men, kicked off not just their journey towards sex, but also something that has become one of the most expected sexual acts to receive. 

The problem? Not everyone on the giving side of things has the same enthusiasm to give as the men do to receive. And I want to change that. I was once a partner that would avoid the BJ at all costs. You could not convince me that it could be a fun way to pleasure my partner. Nope. I would lace up my running shoes and run in the other direction, coming up with any excuse to get out of it. 

Now? Your girl is a certified Throat Goat. I even have a membership card to the secret club. What changed? Honestly? I'm not quite sure. What I DO know is that I want to help the ones that have an aversion to giving blow jobs, the ones that are nervous, uncomfortable, maybe feeling a little insecure in their technique. Because pleasuring our partner shouldn't feel like a chore. And it shouldn't make us uncomfortable.

BUT THIS IS WHERE YOU, THE MEN, COME IN....I cannot take on this task on my own. I need your help. And that is why this episode is for YOU. In this episode I want you to listen to the perspective of the giver of the blow job. I want you to learn some things that you may have never taken into consideration before. There are things that YOU can do to make your partner feel more comfortable. Things that, if you do them, can make your partner want to sign up for membership to the Throat Goat club. 

Guys...you truly have the power to increase the quality AND quantity of one of your most favorite things. Spoiler alert- pushing our heads down is NOT a technique that is going to work in your favor. So grab a pen and paper, get comfy, and come join me in discussing one of my most favorite things in the whole wide world of sex.

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Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

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*listen, if you don't see what I did there with the title, I'm not sure that we can be friends. Anyways, on to the episode.....

Hello, my name is Tera and I will pretend like everything is ok, even when I am drowning in the darkness. Because unless I LET you see it, my struggle is almost completely invisible. 

This episode is the most raw that I have ever gotten with you. I discuss finding myself in a place where, for the first time in my life, I am unable to fully hide my struggles. 

What do we do when we are suffering with a pain that is invisible, whether physical or emotional? How do we cope when internally we feel like we are drowning, but outwardly we are living a life behind a facade? It can be so hard when we are worried people won't believe us because, outwardly, we appear "fine." We walk through life smiling and laughing, waiting until we get home to privately crumble. 

Join the conversation on overcoming the fear to ask for help, and why saying the scariest things can be the bravest thing we ever do.

***SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES*** Never be afraid to reach out for help- it's the bravest thing you will ever do... Suicide Hotline- CLICK HERE Suicide Prevention Resources- CLICK HERE 

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Have something you want to get off your chest? Unload anonymously HERE I'm your safe word and never forget it!

Stay up to date with Tera and the Pretty In Kink Podcast at the following links:

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ANONYMOUS QUESTIONS HERE

My naked body is all over the internet. Doing naked body things. The internet is a cruel place, so it would be a safe assumption that in all that nakedness, the exposure would become exceptionally damaging to my mental health.

My perspective on the topic may be unexpected; I am here to tell you that the world of porn, both watching it and being an active participant in it, has helped me to overcome so many insecurities by discovering just how different all of our bodies actually are. 

In this episode I share my journey into the world of adult content creation and how my once sheltered mind opened up once I started to explore porn. Anatomy class seemed to leave out some important details...why did nobody tell me just how different all of our bodies actually are? This would have saved me years of staring at my body in the mirror thinking I was not normal.

Join in the conversation as I explore the unexpected positive effects the world of porn has had on my insecurities, contrasting the effects of a "safe" social media platform like Instagram. Turns out it's the safe space, the non-taboo space, that is a detriment to my mental health. 

::: Be sure to click the link to send in your anonymous questions! I'm here to be your safe word! No topic is off limits! CLICK HERE

Stay up to date with Tera and the podcast:

Instagram: Pretty in Kink Facebook: Pretty in Kink ----- Instagram: Tera Vee Facebook: Tera Vee Website: Tera Vee ----- Submit your anonymous questions HERE

You see a woman in high heels. It makes that little heart of yours go pitter patter. You realize you want to see MORE feet in heels. And before you know it, a kink is born.

But now, while your heart is going pitter patter, your brain is starting to question itself. Is this normal? Am I normal for liking this? Now your heart is starting to race for a different reason. Fear. Worry. Doubt. 

In this conversation I challenge you to look inward, and decide if normal is even a good thing to strive for. Whether it's a kink, a quirk, or a hobby- we've all had that sudden fear that maybe that thing of ours is not normal. But so what? What is the worst thing that could happen if someone doesn't accept us for who we are? Join me as I explore this question, as well as share the impact it had on me when someone I loved told me that I was not normal.

Come join the conversation on the weight that our words can carry, and why I think a high heel kink is a superpower. 

*Have a topic you would love to dive deeper into? Need advice? Just want to say hi? Reach out to me anonymously with all of your burning questions! 

Submit your anonymous questions HERE

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Are you feeling nauseous as you scroll through social media during Valentine's Day and all that you are seeing is love, Love, LOVE? Are you feeling slightly bitter while you watch your co-worker receive a dozen roses?

Yet you also are independent and usually quite happy rocking your single status, so what's with these feelings?? Fear not! You are not betraying your independence, you're just being human. It's absolutely ok to enjoy being single but also crave someone to go grocery shopping with. 

My therapist interrupted a single-girl pity party that I was throwing for myself with dating advice that has changed the way that I look at being single. I could have gotten you a box of chocolates, but that's so cliche for today. Instead, I'll share a therapy tidbit with you and hopefully it will help you in the same way that it did for me. 

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Stay up to date with Tera and the Pretty in Kink Podcast 

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Have a topic you want to discuss? A question you want to ask? Shy? Embarrassed? Don't worry...you can safely ask anything and stay anonymous! Ask anonymous questions here! 

You have one. I have one. All of our cute little bums hold the potential to have some amazing orgasms...but oof. That taboo, right? The shittiest part (sorry, I couldn't help myself) of anal play is the stigma and taboo attached to it. 

Maybe you have been too nervous to discuss it with your partner. Maybe you have told yourself you will absolutely never try it, simply because of the attached taboo. Or maybe, like me, you had a horrible first experience and now you're not sure if you want to try again.

It can be easy to forget that you don't have to jump all the way in to still enjoy anal play. And with time, and communication if you are playing with a partner, you may be surprised to find something that gives you a whole new kind of pleasure. 

In this episode I share my own personal feelings on anal play, as well as some pointers to make the whole experience be one that you will want to hopefully enjoy again and again! 

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The best Anal Training Guide you will find:

Check out John Romaniello's Instagram highlights for his insanely popular Anal Training Guide. Your bum will thank you, I promise!

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This one's for all the men out there! Check this article out to learn all about the amazing prostate orgasm. Learn all about that amazing, magical button that you've got hiding in that sexy ass of yours, and ways to access a whole new level of pleasure.

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Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all your questions HERE anonymously! 

Sexless relationships is a topic that is not discussed often enough. So many couples suffer silently behind closed doors embarrassed to discuss a problem that a surprising amount of couples are going through.

Inspired by a listener question inquiring if it is ok to look for sex elsewhere if his wife is no longer interested in sex, I explore what can cause a sexless relationship, the effects it can have, and what the solution is. I reflect on my own experience in a marriage that suffered from close to a decade of no intimacy and how it still effects me now in my dating life.

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https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

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https://prettyuncomfortable.com

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https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

…….

https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

You're told you have herpes. It feels like your life is over. Will you ever have sex again? Will anyone ever want to date you if they know? Is your dating life completely OVER?

I'm here to tell you...ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOT. Your dating life does not need to suffer simply because you have an astonishingly common virus. I'm here to drop a big bomb on you....having herpes doesn't make you special. It doesn't make you unique. It makes you just like BILLIONS (according to WHO World Health Organization) of other people walking along with you on this planet. 

After my diagnosis in 2018 I went through the rollercoaster of emotions- self-hatred, shame, and embarrassment. All I knew of herpes was what I had learned in sex-ed; which means I knew, well, NOTHING. I could only reference back to jokes I had heard, crude references from movies and sitcoms, and the Google images showcasing the absolute WORST of the worst case scenarios. So obviously, I thought I had a zombie vagina that everyone would run from. 

That zombie vagina of mine? I'm here to tell you, it's in high demand. Herpes has absolutely not stopped me from having not just a thriving dating life, but a thriving SEX LIFE. 

In this episode I share the evolution of my life with herpes- from my diagnosis and the shock of realizing it was apparently NOT a big deal at all, to learning how to navigate the treacherous world of dating while having a virus that most people are incredibly mis-informed about. 

I have made a conscious decision with this episode to NOT take the educational route. I feel better equipped to share with you in the way that I do best- storytelling. If you would like further education and facts on the subject, I have included some helpful links below as well as links to some of my favorite Instagram accounts that have been absolutely invaluable to me through this journey. 

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HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS HERPES

This is probably one of my all time most favorite articles EVER, regarding herpes. If you read nothing else, this is the article to read! 

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WHY THE CDC DOES NOT RECOMMEND SCREENING FOR HERPES

Most people are absolutely shocked to find out that herpes is NOT part of the standard STI testing panels. Most believe that they have been tested for everything, because they have been TOLD that they were tested for everything. But most likely, herpes was NOT a part of that test. Find out why in this article...the reason will probably shock you!

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Ella Dawson's Incredible TEDX Talk on Herpes-

STIs AREN'T A CONSEQUENCE, THEY'RE INEVITABLE

For anyone new to navigating a herpes diagnosis, consider this required listening material. It is a MUST!

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Instagram Accounts that I Adore:

Sexelducation run by Emily L. Depasse MSW Med

I love this page for the way that Emily presents the data in a way that is fun and easy to digest. This page has helped me SO much through my journey, helping to educate myself and to realize more and more that shame doesn't belong anywhere in the same room as my diagnosis.

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Positive Results  

This page is no longer active, but don't let that deter you from going down the rabbit hole of all of the amazing posts that it offers. I learned soooo much from this page on how to disclose throughout my dating career. This page has truly been invaluable to me throughout the years. This is the page that has the meme that I use on my dating profiles- HSV+ AND I'M STILL FUCKING FABULOUS

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and then there is SAFE SLUT. In my opinion...the GOAT

This page gives me absolute LIFE. Her approach to a subject as stigmatized as herpes is one filled with humor and just absolute EMPOWERMENT. Gives. Me. LIFE.

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My DMs are always open to continue the conversation. Please always feel safe to come to me if you want to chat about herpes!

Connect with the Pretty in Kink Podcast & Tera Vee at:

Pretty in Kink IG | Tera Vee IG | Website | Facebook

 

"You're a slut."

Has anyone ever said that to you? Or have you said it to someone else? 

I have been shamed for my sexual experiences, and as hard as it is to admit, I have also been the one doing the shaming.

Who gets to decide what a slut is? What number of sexual partners suddenly switches you from "acceptable" to slut? In this episode I discuss my own experiences with being shamed for my decision to make adult content, and how it makes me feel.

Newsflash- it makes me sad. But also? I don't let it stop me from continuing to live my life as I see fit.

 

Be sure to stay up to date with Tera Vee & the Pretty in Kink Podcast

Website | Tera Vee Instagram | Pretty in Kink Instagram 

 

Let's explore the difference between not understanding or not liking something, versus creating judgement and shame towards a person. 

Through my explorations and experiences in dating I have been able to evolve from being a person that was incredibly judgmental into someone that thoroughly enjoys things I never would have imagined. In this episode I share some of my own kinks as well as sharing how I evolved into a less judgmental person. 

Remember that it is always ok to have likes and dislikes. NOTHING is normal or not normal. We don't have to all like the same things. It is ok to feel negative feelings towards someTHING, but not towards the someONE that enjoys it. 

Stay up to date with Tera Vee and the Pretty in Kink podcast:

Tera Vee Website | Pretty in Kink Instagram | Tera Vee Instagram

A first Tinder date created a torn vagina, which led to an emergency surgery and BOOM! The name Tera Vee was born! In this episode I share with you the hilarious, if not slightly embarrassing, story that showcases the origins of my porn name. After years of celibacy, I went on a Tinder date. And then, in a ridiculous turn of events, I experienced a nightmarish complication from a surgery that I had months before. Suddenly, I was completing my Tinder date in the emergency room, waving goodbye to my date as I was wheeled into surgery.  It's no wonder I get so much anxiety on first dates!

Welcome to the premier episode! Why the fuck should you even listen to me? I'm here to show you that it is ok to talk about our struggles, and talk about the stuff that might be uncomfortable. I want you to know you have a safe space where we can talk about sex, dating, STIs, mental health, KINKS! This is your safe space to dive into the dirty and realize you are not alone!

*also be sure to catch some of my infamous bloopers at the end too!

 

Stay up to date with the podcast on Intagram @ Pretty in Kink Podcast

Get weird with Tera:

Tera Vee Instagram | Website | Facebook

Welcome to the Pretty in Kink podcast trailer. We are going to be exploring the awkward side of sexy, the sweet side of dirty, and the beauty in the mess of that thing that we call life. Let me be your new safe word.

Be sure to follow @PrettyInKink on Instagram to stay up to date!

Welcome back to part two of the episode where I share with you what women wish that more men knew about sex. Part two brings the conclusion of the list, sharing simple things that you can do to help improve your sex life with your partner. 

While this list is compiled from research on what women wish men knew, it is important to understand that many of these tips can apply to all of us. Many times, there are small things that we haven't even taken into consideration, that if we can work to improve upon, can dramatically improve the connection that we have with our partners. 

So set your egos aside for this episode, have an open mind, and take notes on how to make some simple changes to improve your sex life!

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Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

Pretty Uncomfortable | Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/prettyuncomfortablepodcast/

Pretty Uncomfortable | Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088708004607

Pretty Uncomfortable | TikTok

https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

Pretty Uncomfortable | Website 

https://prettyuncomfortable.com

Tera Vee | Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

…….

https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

All of our egos can get pretty attached to our sex lives. It can be hard to think that maybe you could be doing something better. Or maybe even LOTS of things better. I know it can be hard. But if you are able to set your ego aside and listen with an open mind, you might find some simple ways to improve your sexual encounters.

This episode is NOT an episode to make men feel bad. The intention is not to make you feel like you are being picked on, or being made to feel as if you are lacking in the bedroom. Because listen, if you don't know what you may be missing, how can you even know to even fix it? 

I'm here to show you some things that you may be missing in the bedroom. Some are small changes that will make your partner smile, others I hope you truly think about and try to improve on, because if you do? I promise you, your partner will be ecstatic. In part one of this episode I will explore topics that range from kissing to trimming your nails, taking those damn socks off, and learning to realize there is no ONE main event when it comes to sex.

State tuned for part two, and if you have any suggestions you would like to add to the conversation you can send me a message anonymously at the following link: https://ngl.link/tera_vee

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Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

Pretty Uncomfortable | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/prettyuncomfortablepodcast/

Pretty Uncomfortable | Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088708004607

Pretty Uncomfortable | TikTok

https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

Pretty Uncomfortable | Website 

https://prettyuncomfortable.com

Tera Vee | Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

 

Welcome to another Listener Questions 5 in 5! In these episodes I answer 5 randomly selected listener questions, each answered in five minutes or less. 

In this installment I cover everything from what BDSM is, to advice on how a couple can bring a third person into the bedroom. If you want your questioned featured on a Pretty Uncomfortable episode you can reach out to me anonymously HERE: https://ngl.link/tera_vee or send me a DM on Instagram @prettyuncomfortablepodcast

Episode Question Line-Up:

1:10 -  "BDSM" I define what BDSM is, and remind you that perhaps the stigmatized image that you have in your head of what you think BDSM is, is actually wrong. I also share a link for a wonderful test to see where you stand in the world of BDSM. www.bdsmtest.org

7:10 -  "You are more amazing than sliced bread". Yes, perhaps sometimes I troll my own question prompts. I'm my own biggest fan, what can I say?!

7:58 -  "Would you do a long distance relationship?" I discuss why a long distance relationship would not work for me while also enjoying a little bit of distance from my partners.

11:33 - "Girlfriend has hinted that she may want to try involving another woman with us when we are intimate but both of us are unsure on how to go about it."  I will share the most important thing that you need to do before introducing a third person into your dynamic.

16:50 - "How do you recommend getting started in the "spicy links" community?"  *"spicy links" refers to adult content sites. I discuss the motivation to get into adult content, the risks, and what I believe is one of the most important "rules" if you enter into creating adult content.

These episodes continue to be some of my favorite! I love the element of being unprepared and never knowing what is coming next! Let's keep the fun going and send me your questions to be featured in an episode

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Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

Pretty Uncomfortable | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/prettyuncomfortablepodcast/

Pretty Uncomfortable | Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088708004607

Pretty Uncomfortable | TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

Pretty Uncomfortable | Website  https://prettyuncomfortable.com

Tera Vee | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

…….

https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

This B-Side is a companion to Ep. 36 "Butt Plugs; Plugging Into Pleasure: A Beginner's Guide To Looking Past The Taboo And Exploring The Pleasure Potentials Of Butt Plugs"

In episode 36 I wanted to make sure that you understood that playing with plugs does not automatically mean you need to explore any further than that. I wanted to make sure you can do this, and not feel like you have to do THAT. 

But for those that do want to explore further, and get their bodies ready for a pleasurable experience with anal sex, this episode is for you! This B-Side is dedicated to the anal training guide that was created by John Romaniello, who you can find on Instagram at the handle @johnromaniello. Whether he wants the guide to be his legacy or not...I'm not sure if he has much of a choice! The man is known for his guide, and so many of his followers swear by it.

So, what IS an anal training guide? With the use of butt plugs, this guide will help you to become accustomed to the new sensations in order to move on to anal sex without the dreaded discomfort that you may be fearing. 

So grab a notebook and a pen, and grab a seat as I present to you a three week guide to booty bliss!

Full credit to the anal training guide goes to John Romaniello. Guide is shared with permission.

John Romaniello's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/johnromaniello/

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Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

 

Pretty Uncomfortable | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/prettyinkinkpodcast/

Pretty Uncomfortable | Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088708004607

Pretty Uncomfortable | TikTok

https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

Pretty Uncomfortable | Website 

https://prettyuncomfortable.com

Tera Vee | Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

…….

https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

 

When it comes to sexual taboos, any kind of anal play it right there at the top of the list. Sheesh, just saying the word anal can lead to embarrassment, judgment, and awkwardness.

The opinions on anal play can be very polarizing- they love it or they hate it, but rarely do you hear someone in the in-between. It is easy to have a quick reaction of "No" when you are presented with any play that involves the backdoor, especially when those taboos have been shoved in our faces for so long. But here's what I want you to know- anal play can be so much fun, and bring you new sensations that you have never experienced before. And you can hate anal sex, yet love anal play. Confusing, right? I know. I used to think if I hated one, there could be no way that I would love the other....I was wrong. Let me show you why.

In this episode I explore the world of butt plugs for beginners, and remind you that just because it's taboo, it doesn't mean it isn't fun! Here's the thing with taboo things like anal play...more people than you think are enjoying it, they're just too uncomfortable to talk about it. That's what you've got me for!

Get ready to learn all things butt plugs- WHO they are for, WHY they can feel so good, WHAT kind of plugs are out there for you to explore, and HOW do you explore with your new toy?

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Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

Pretty Uncomfortable | INSTAGRAM

Pretty Uncomfortable | FACEBOOK

Pretty Uncomfortable | TIKTOK

Pretty Uncomfortable |  WEBSITE

Tera Vee | INSTAGRAM

…….

https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!