Have you ever felt guilty for letting someone down—even when you were just protecting your peace? In this episode, we’re unpacking why disappointing others is actually one of the strongest signs that you're healing. We’ll dive into how people-pleasing keeps you stuck, why unmet expectations aren’t your responsibility, and what it really means when someone says, “You’ve changed.” (Spoiler: that’s the point.)

I’ll break down the psychology behind this shift, what to expect when you start setting boundaries, and how to stop making guilt your compass. You’ll walk away with a new lens on your healing journey—and permission to disappoint whoever needs disappointing.

Because healing isn’t about being liked. It’s about being free.

Share This With Someone Who Needs It Today.

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You say you want a happy life — but are you willing to let go of the version of yourself that’s keeping you stuck?

In this brutally honest episode, we break down what happiness really is (and isn’t), why you’re probably chasing the wrong things, and how to finally build a life that feels like peace — not performance.

You’ll learn:
✅ Why most people confuse stimulation with happiness
✅ How your nervous system reacts to stillness if you’re used to chaos
✅ The silent patterns that drain your joy and energy
✅ Why real peace starts when you get sick of your own excuses
✅ How to build internal self-respect instead of chasing external validation

Whether you’re stuck in cycles, tolerating a life you’ve outgrown, or just exhausted by your own sh*t — this episode is the reset button you didn’t know you needed.

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🎯 Comes with a powerful companion worksheet to help you:

• Identify your self-sabotage patterns

• Rewire your definition of peace

• Build habits rooted in self-loyalty, not survival

• Create a life that feels calm, congruent, and actually yours

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In this episode, we delve into the transformative power of positive psychology and explore actionable strategies to boost your well-being and performance. Key topics include:​

• Understanding Positive Psychology: An overview of this scientific field that focuses on strengths, virtues, and factors contributing to a fulfilling life.​

• Why We Resist Positive Psychology: Negativity Bias, skepticism, negative potency, steeper negative gradients, negativity dominance and negativity differential.

• The PERMA Model: Developed by Martin Seligman, this framework outlines five core elements of well-being

• Practical Techniques:

  • Gratitude Journaling: Regularly writing down things you're thankful for to shift focus toward positivity.​
  • Mindfulness Practices: Engaging in mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) to enhance present-moment awareness and reduce stress.​
  • Learned Optimism: Adopting a mindset that challenges negative self-talk and fosters a more optimistic outlook.​

• Broaden-and-Build Theory: Exploring how positive emotions can broaden your perspective and build lasting personal resources, leading to increased resilience and creativity.​

Join me as we uncover how integrating these positive psychology techniques can lead to a more vibrant, productive, and meaningful life

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In this episode, we delve into the stark differences between reacting out of emotions versus responding from the mind. Discover how these distinct approaches can shape our actions and decision-making processes.

1. Emotional Reactivity: Reacting out of emotions often involves impulsive responses driven by immediate feelings. Emotions can cloud judgment and lead to hasty decisions, potentially disregarding long-term consequences. This can manifest in situations where anger fuels a heated argument, sadness triggers impulsive behavior, or fear drives avoidance without rational assessment.

2. Rational Mindfulness: Responding from the mind, on the other hand, emphasizes a thoughtful and deliberate approach. It entails applying logic, critical thinking, and considering factual evidence. It allows for a more comprehensive evaluation of situations and the ability to make choices that align with personal values and goals. For instance, carefully weighing the pros and cons of a decision, analyzing risks and benefits, and taking calculated steps towards a desired outcome.

3. Clarity and Objectivity: Operating from the mind fosters clarity and objectivity. It allows individuals to step back from emotional biases and look at situations from a broader perspective. This can be seen in scenarios where individuals maintain a calm demeanor during conflicts, engage in constructive problem-solving, or objectively evaluate different viewpoints to reach fair and informed conclusions.

By understanding the distinctions between reacting out of emotions and responding from the mind, we gain insights into the importance of cultivating emotional intelligence and developing the ability to make conscious choices that balance both reason and emotions.

There are many reasons why operating from the mind may be difficult.  ADHD, depression, BPD and other mental issues make it more difficult but not impossible.  You don't have to try to figure it out on your own but you do have to be willing to be consistent on the journey.

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Are you caught in a cycle of avoidance, constantly putting off tasks and responsibilities? We will explore the consequences of continued avoidance and how it keeps you stuck and feeling imprisoned in your own mind.

Discover how avoidance can lead to increased stress, missed opportunities, and strained relationships, while hindering your personal growth.

 Practical tips on overcoming avoidance, setting realistic goals, managing time effectively, and cultivating self-discipline will allow you to break free from the comfort of the illusion of control through avoidance. Don't let avoidance hold you back any longer.

Listen to this episode and take the first steps towards a more productive, fulfilling life.

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Self-sabotage refers to the act of undermining one's own goals, desires, or well-being, often unconsciously. Although the specific reasons for self-sabotage can vary from person to person, there are several common underlying factors that contribute to this behavior:

Fear of failure, low self-esteem, comfort zone, fear of success and unresolved psychology issues are the root to self-sabotage.  You don't have to pick one, it could be all of the above.

It's important to note that self-sabotage is a complex behavior, and the reasons behind it can be deeply ingrained. Overcoming self-sabotage often requires self-reflection, introspection, and, processing the reasons we sabotage in the first place.  

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Control is an illusion you tell yourself you have to protect yourself. The truth is the only thing you are in control of is your mindset and actions. While you think you are doing yourself a favor, your mind and body tells a very different story. To name just a few:

Increased Stress Levels: Constantly striving for control can lead to chronic stress. The pressure to manage and manipulate every situation can activate the body's stress response, resulting in elevated levels of stress hormones like cortisol. Prolonged exposure to high levels of stress can have detrimental effects on mental and physical health.

Anxiety and Worry: The need for control often stems from a fear of uncertainty and the unknown. When we try to control everything, we may become consumed by worry and anxiety about potential outcomes. This persistent state of anxiety can lead to racing thoughts, restlessness, and a constant sense of unease. Strained

Relationships: Excessive control can strain relationships with others. The need for control can manifest as micromanaging, imposing rigid expectations, or being overly critical. This behavior can create tension, erode trust, and hinder effective communication and collaboration within personal and professional relationships.

Physical Health Issues: Chronic stress resulting from a need for control can have various physical health consequences. It can weaken the immune system, making individuals more susceptible to illnesses and infections. Long-term stress can also contribute to cardiovascular problems, gastrointestinal issues, and other stress-related ailments.

What you try to control controls you and no level of control can rewrite the past or predict the future.

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In this thought-provoking episode, we delve into the concept of detachment and explore why living with detachment can be incredibly beneficial for personal growth and overall well-being.

Detaching from outcomes, possessions, past events, and expectations can lead to a greater sense of freedom and inner peace.

The transformative effects of practicing non-attachment and its positive impact on relationships, decision-making, and embracing life's uncertainties is where the freedom you seek is.  

Get ready to explore the path to liberation and unlock new possibilities through the art of living in detachment.

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Feeling and processing our feelings is an essential aspect of our emotional well-being and personal growth. Here are a few reasons why it is crucial to engage with our emotions:

Emotional Awareness: Acknowledging and understanding our feelings allows us to develop emotional intelligence. By recognizing and labeling our emotions, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves, our needs, and our values. This awareness enables us to navigate life with more clarity and authenticity.

Emotional Release: Emotions serve as signals from our inner selves, providing valuable information about our experiences and reactions. When we allow ourselves to feel our emotions fully, we create space for emotional release. Suppressing or ignoring our feelings can lead to unresolved emotional baggage, which may manifest in various negative ways such as stress, anxiety, or even physical ailments.

Authenticity and Self-Expression: Each emotion we experience is valid and carries its own significance. By embracing our feelings, we honor our authentic selves and allow for genuine self-expression. This authenticity not only enhances our relationship with ourselves but also fosters deeper connections with others by encouraging open and honest communication.

Healing and Growth: Processing our feelings helps us work through challenging experiences and heal emotional wounds. It allows us to gain insights into our thought patterns, beliefs, and behaviors, empowering us to make positive changes in our lives. By addressing and understanding our emotions, we can break free from negative cycles and cultivate personal growth and resilience. To start processing your feelings is to allow them to come without the judgment and digging into the deeper roots will be transformational but will be a long process.

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Executive function refers to a set of cognitive processes that enables you to plan, organize, initiate, monitor, and adapt your behavior in order to achieve goals. It involves the higher-order control and regulation of other cognitive processes, allowing individuals to manage and coordinate their thoughts, actions, and emotions effectively.

Executive function encompasses a range of mental abilities and skills that are essential for daily functioning. These include:

1. Planning and organization: The ability to create a structured approach for achieving a goal, breaking it down into manageable steps, and determining the order in which tasks should be completed.

2. Working memory: The capacity to temporarily hold and manipulate information in mind, allowing individuals to keep relevant information active while performing tasks or solving problems.

3. Attentional control: The ability to focus and sustain attention on a specific task or stimuli, while filtering out distractions and irrelevant information.

4. Cognitive flexibility: The capacity to adapt thinking and behavior in response to changing situations or demands. It involves shifting between different tasks or strategies and adjusting to new rules or perspectives.

5. Inhibitory control: The ability to inhibit or suppress impulsive or automatic responses, allowing individuals to pause, think, and choose more appropriate behaviors or actions.

6. Decision-making: The process of evaluating different options, weighing pros and cons, and selecting the most appropriate course of action based on desired goals and outcomes.

7. Emotional regulation: The skill of managing and regulating emotions in order to appropriately respond to and cope with various situations. It involves recognizing and understanding one's own emotions and those of others, as well as effectively controlling emotional reactions.

Executive function skills are crucial for academic and professional success, as well as for managing daily life tasks. They enable you to plan and prioritize tasks, stay organized, stay focused on goals, solve problems, make informed decisions, and regulate their behavior and emotions.

While executive function abilities naturally develop throughout childhood and adolescence, they continue to mature into early adulthood. However, executive function can be impaired or disrupted due to various factors, such as brain injury, neurodevelopmental disorders (e.g., ADHD), neurodegenerative diseases (e.g., Alzheimer's), or mental health conditions.

Understanding executive function is important as it allows you to recognize and address challenges you may face in areas such as time management, organization, impulse control, and decision-making. By improving executive function skills, individuals can enhance their overall cognitive abilities, productivity, and adaptability in various aspects of life. Let's chat about it.

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Harsh truths are necessary for us so we can remind ourselves to come back to basis of gratitude for this moment in time.

Impermanence: Everything in life is transient, including relationships, possessions, and even life itself. Accepting that change and loss are inevitable can be difficult, but it is a fundamental aspect of existence.

Personal Responsibility: Each individual is ultimately responsible for their own life and choices. Blaming external circumstances or others for one's own failures or unhappiness can be tempting, but accepting personal responsibility empowers individuals to take control and make positive changes.

Uncertainty: Life is filled with uncertainty, and there are no guarantees of success, happiness, or even tomorrow. Embracing this uncertainty can be challenging, as humans naturally seek stability and security.

Inequality and Injustice: The world is often unfair, with systemic inequalities, prejudices, and injustices that affect various aspects of life, such as opportunities, wealth distribution, and social status. Accepting this reality can be disheartening, but it also motivates individuals to work towards creating a fairer society.

Mortality: Life is finite, and death is an inescapable part of the human experience. Acknowledging our mortality can be deeply unsettling, but it can also inspire individuals to live with greater purpose, appreciate the present moment, and make the most of the time they have.

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Setting boundaries is a huge part of self development and self love and should be set and established without emotion attached to them. The foundations to setting a boundary is as follows:

Clarity: A boundary must be clear and specific. It should clearly define what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior regardless of who it is. No one gets a special pass.

Consistency: Boundaries must be consistent. It is important to enforce the boundary every time it is crossed to establish a sense of accountability. This is where the consequence must be clear and you have to be ready to enforce it.

Respect: Boundaries should be established and enforced with respect for yourself and others. They should not be used to control or manipulate others.

Flexibility: Boundaries should be flexible to accommodate changing circumstances or new information. It is important to re-evaluate boundaries periodically to ensure they are still serving their intended purpose.

Communication: Effective communication is essential in establishing and enforcing boundaries. It is important to communicate boundaries clearly and assertively to others. Do NOT keep repeating them.

Self-awareness: Setting healthy boundaries requires self-awareness and an understanding of your own needs and limits. Accept that it is up to you to meet your own needs first.

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Guilt tripping is a form of emotional manipulation where one person tries to make another person feel guilty or responsible for something that is not their fault. The common strategies used are: emotional appeal, exaggeration and a sense of responsibility.

You may also recognize the examples below but there are many more. Emotional Blackmail:

This is a form of guilt-tripping where someone threatens to do something drastic or hurt themselves if you don't comply with their demands. For example, "If you don't come to my party, I'll be so upset that I might just cancel it altogether."

Playing the Victim: Some people use the victim card to guilt-trip others into doing what they want. For example, "You know how hard my life has been lately, the least you can do is help me out."

Constantly Bringing Up Past Mistakes: Guilt-trippers might bring up past mistakes or failures to make you feel bad about your current actions. For example, "Remember that time you forgot my birthday? Well, you're doing it again by not helping me out."

Blaming You for Their Problems: Guilt-trippers may also try to blame you for their problems or failures. For example, "If you had just helped me out earlier, I wouldn't be in this mess now."

Exaggerating the Consequences: Some people may use guilt-tripping by exaggerating the consequences of your actions to make you feel bad. For example, "If you don't help me now, our entire family will suffer."

The key is to establish boundaries and work on healing the wounds that the guilt trip affects. You have to be ok with being the villain in someone else's story. When you accept that, you start to protect your peace and empower yourself.

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In this enlightening episode, we delve into the neuroscience of resilience, uncovering how our brains adapt to adversity and the mechanisms that enable us to bounce back from life's challenges. Understanding these processes is crucial for personal growth and mental well-being.

Key Discussion Points:

• Defining Resilience: Explore what resilience truly means and its significance in maintaining mental health. 
• Neural Mechanisms: Discover how the brain's plasticity allows for adaptation and recovery in the face of stress. 
• Building Resilience: Learn practical, science-backed strategies to enhance your resilience, including mindfulness practices, cognitive restructuring, and strengthening social connections. 

By understanding the science behind resilience, you can develop the tools needed to navigate adversity effectively and emerge stronger.

Tune in to empower yourself with knowledge and strategies to thrive amidst challenges.

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Are you struggling with obsessive thinking? If so, you're not alone. Obsessive thinking can be a challenging and distressing experience, but there are strategies that can help and understanding the why is a great place to start.

Some common causes of obsessive thinking, including anxiety, trauma, genetics, substance use, and environmental factors. Remember that everyone's experience with obsessive thinking is unique, and it's essential to find strategies that work for you.

You do not have to continue the obsessive loop.

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Do you ever feel like you're missing something obvious or seeing things that aren't there? It turns out that your brain's Reticular Activating System (RAS) plays a crucial role in filtering and focusing your attention, and can also affect your cognitive biases that distort your perception of reality.

We'll start by explaining the basics of the RAS system, which is a network of neurons in the brainstem that regulates arousal, attention, and awareness. The RAS system acts as a gatekeeper for sensory input, deciding what information to amplify or suppress based on various factors such as novelty, relevance, and emotional salience. The RAS system can prioritize certain stimuli, like when you hear your name in a crowded room or notice a potential threat in your environment.

 However, the RAS system can be influenced by cognitive biases, which are mental shortcuts or heuristics that simplify complex information processing but can also lead to errors and distortions. For instance, confirmation bias can cause you to pay more attention to information that confirms your preexisting beliefs and ignore or downplay contradictory evidence. Similarly, the availability heuristic can make you overestimate the likelihood of events that are more salient or memorable, like plane crashes or shark attacks, even if they are statistically rare.

The RAS system can in turn provide a placebo effect, the priming effect, and the attentional blink. Minimizing the impact of cognitive biases on your perception, such as seeking diverse perspectives, questioning your assumptions, and practicing mindfulness are a few ways to start reprogramming your RAS.

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Do you feel like you're holding yourself back from living a fulfilling life? Are you struggling to achieve your goals or find happiness? It could be due to self-imposed limiting beliefs.

The impact of self-imposed limiting beliefs on our lives may start as a voice from someone else but we adopt them as our own and they become our own voices that tell us we are not worthy or smart enought.

"I don't have enough time/money/resources," or "I'll never be able to do that." are just a few examples of those limits that we allow ourselves to believe.

Reframing negative self-talk to practicing self-compassion and setting achievable goals, allows you to see the ways that you are good enough. It takes time and restructure.

The ability to pivot is the key to prevent these beliefs from taking over your life. Don't let limiting beliefs hold you back any longer – it's time to start thriving! 

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Hypervigilance is a state of heightened awareness and constant scanning of one's environment, often stemming from past traumatic experiences. While it may have initially served as a coping mechanism, chronic hypervigilance can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and other mental health issues. We'll discuss the signs and symptoms of hypervigilance, and how it can be isolating and hampering in your daily life.

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Emotional regulation is an essential life skill that helps us manage our emotions and cope with life's challenges. It is the ability to identify and understand our feelings, express them appropriately, and control them when necessary.Let's explore practical tips and techniques to help you master emotional regulation. Self-care and mindfulness helps you maintain emotional balance. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, anger, or stress, this video is for you. Join me and start your journey towards mastering emotional regulation today!

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There are several reasons why we take things personally and get offended:

1. Self-identity: Our beliefs, values, and experiences shape our self-identity, and when someone challenges them, we can feel like they are attacking us personally.

2. Emotional triggers: Certain words, actions, or situations can trigger past experiences or traumas, leading us to feel hurt, angry, or defensive.

3. Cognitive biases: Our brains are wired to look for threats and negative information, so we may perceive harmless comments or actions as personal attacks.

4. Lack of boundaries: When we don't set clear boundaries, we may feel like others are intruding on our personal space or values.

5. Insecurity: When we feel insecure about ourselves, we may be more prone to taking things personally and seeking validation from others.

It's important to recognize why we feel offended and take steps to address these underlying issues, such as practicing self-awareness, setting boundaries, and improving our self-esteem. By doing so, we can learn to respond to situations in a more positive and constructive way.

When you are doing any type of self awareness and healing work, make sure to practive self compassion and patience,

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Are you feeling lost or unfulfilled in life? Are you struggling to find your purpose or direction? In this video, we will explore strategies and techniques to help you discover your passions, values, and strengths to help you find your purpose in life.

You focus your energy by delving into your unique talents and interests to help you identify your personal mission and goals. When you create a vision for your life and align your actions with your values to achieve greater fulfillment and happiness, purpose happens.

Let's embark on this transformative journey towards discovering your purpose and living a meaningful life.

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Have you ever been around someone and felt drained and exhausted after?

Do you find that you get zapped at the mere thought of communicating with that person? You may very well be dealing with energy vampires. In this podcast episode we will discuss five of the most common signs that someone else or you are an energy vampire.

It's important to recognize the signs for your own mental health and personal well being. Do not get caught up on the person being family or friends. If their energy is draining you, you are not obligated to lower your boundaries for that type of interaction.

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In this podcast, we explore the complex and often misunderstood world of toxic traits. We discuss how certain negative behaviors can have a detrimental impact on our personal and professional relationships, as well as our overall mental health and well-being. From narcissism and manipulation to anger issues and emotional abuse, we delve into some of the most common toxic traits and how they manifest in our lives.

Whether you're struggling with your own toxic tendencies or dealing with toxic people in your life, this podcast provides valuable insights and guidance on how to break free from negative patterns and build healthier, more positive relationships.

Join us as we explore the fascinating world of toxic traits and chart a course towards greater self-awareness and personal growth.

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Toxic emotions are something that we all have carried in the past and have now become the default for your negativity. When you carry toxic emotions and don't process them, they can break down your immunity and cause physical health problems.

Our mind and body are very connected. While we think of them as the mind and the body, we are in the same vessel and have to be nurtured. When we are angry, sad, resenful and live in guilt and obsess on it vs process it illness in one form or another is what you will face.

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Unlock the secrets to building unwavering self-confidence through the power of neuroscience. In this enlightening episode, we delve into the brain's remarkable ability to adapt and rewire itself—a phenomenon known as neuroplasticity—and how you can harness this to transform your self-perception and boost confidence.

Key Discussion Points:

Understanding Neuroplasticity: Learn how your brain's capacity to form new neural connections can be directed to enhance self-assurance and diminish self-doubt.

The Role of Self-Talk: Discover how shifting from negative to positive self-dialogue can reprogram your brain's pathways, fostering a more confident mindset.

Visualization Techniques: Explore the science behind mental imagery and how visualizing success can activate brain regions associated with actual performance, thereby boosting confidence.

Mindfulness and Meditation: Understand how regular mindfulness practices can reduce activity in brain areas linked to fear and anxiety, promoting emotional regulation and self-assuredness.

Embracing Challenges: Find out how stepping out of your comfort zone and facing fears can strengthen neural networks related to resilience and confidence.

Join me as I provide actionable, science-backed strategies to help you rewire your brain, overcome self-doubt, and cultivate unstoppable confidence. 

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In this episode we are talking about the difference of fixed and growth mindset.  Your perspective is how you will see everthing in  life and a growth mindset will help you shift from a place of hoplessness and emptiness to hopeful and capable.

I lived in a fixed mindset all of my teenage years and into my early twentites before I even knew I was in a negative fixed mindset.  Often the fixed mindset will lead into a victim mentality and will seem as though there is no light at the end of the tunnel. 

Growth mindset doesn't limit your abilites.  You know that hard work and effort can be as rewarding as natural talents. You will be receptive to change and you don't fear feedback.  You will be inspired by others success not threatend or jealous.

Growth mindset also leads to better health and overall wellbeing.

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In this episode we will talk about the importance of showing up for yourself and why it is a non-negotiable to your healing.  Early childhood may have left you feeling as though others didn't show up for you leaving you emotionally confused.  

One of the hardest things I learned on my own journey was being enough for me and validating myself.  It takes time and a commitment to yourself to create a safe space and daily time to support yourself in a way that it protects your mental and physical.  

Be kind to yourself on this journey.  Its territory you have never been in before.  

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Emotional maturity is crucial in every realtionship you will ever have. When you have developed this maturity you are able to take responsibility and embrace your vulnerability.  You don't focus on what you can't control, you focus on what you can.

Not only do you set boundaries, you do so with no guilt.  You are empathetic to others and especially yourself but you don't lower those boundaries when it jeapordizes your peace. 

You focus on a growth mindset and work on understanding and processing your emotions.  You don't have to figure it out all on your own.  Seeking help is another huge sign of emotional maturity.  

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In this episode you will start to understand victim mentality and understand why your are on that mindset loop.  At no point of this episode should you start blaming yourself, awareness is an amazing tool to help you understand that there is nothing wrong with you.

Your trauma and previous situations are very valid and working on validating yourself will help facilitate that transistion out of the victim mindset. 

It may seem impossible at times but focusing on what YOU can control will help jumpstart that transition.

While litening to this episode, do so with self compassion.  It will be harsh at times but I promise you...PROMISE YOU that you are deserving to transition into a self compassion, love and growth mindset.

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Disclaimer:  All information in this podcast should be used for informational purposes only.

Regrets serve a purpose in teaching us valuable lessons by allowing us to learn and execute a change in our actions or reactions going forward.  When you obsess on the past situation that is causing the regret you won't be able to see the lesson. You will remain in a ruminating state that doesn't allow for growth or lesson. 

Punishing yourself and blaming others will not provide you the compassion you must give yourself in order to allow your regrets to be transformed into lessons, releasing those regrets.

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Resentments are something we feel from time to time especially if we are not on our healing journey.  Resentments, envy and jealousy are all under the same umbrella.   You can resent someone for various reasons which we will discuss in this episode.

The energy from resentment and anger reside in the gallbladder and the liver.  Holding onto resentment with the idea that you are protecting yourself is like drinking poison and thinking you will get better.  

Be compassionate with yourself while you are on this healing journey.  When you release the resentments you free yourself up to receive the positive energy and no longer allow that person or situation to have power over you.

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It is amazing to have goals and dreams and work towards reaching them.  It becomes problematic when you are so married to the outcome that when one thing goes off course you fall apart and often throw in the towel.  Your outcome has to be a simple bench marker that shows your progress.

The journey itself is the reward and the lesson. The setbacks and redirections and even the things that never come to fruition IS the reward.  If you intentions are not clear, the goal is just a dream and the details are murky at best.

When you are focused on the outcome, you are missing the opportunites that come from having to pivot and redirect.  The outcome should just be another direction marker of your progress nothing more.

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Different plants require a different method of care just like humans.  Let's go through 5 ways you can relate your life to how plants thrive.  

Focusing your foundation self love and surroundings is what a plant experiences in their soil.  If the soil is not ph balanced or weak in nutrients the plant can't thrive.  If your surroundings are not providing you the proper nutrition, replant yourself.    

Self love is the key nutrient that is required regardless of what type of "plant" you are.  I'm going to give you an action item you can use when buying a plant or figuring out who you are.

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As we approach the beginning of 2023 I want to make sure you have  tools you need to set goals and understand why you are setting them in the first place.  

• What is the reason behing your goals?
• What systems will you use to prevent falling back into bad habits?
• Which goals are REALLY a priority and not just a "want"?

These are just a few questions you need to be clear on when establishing your new year.  Time only exists right now but having a plan for the year will alleviate the uncertainty that comes when you only have a desire for your goals.   Let's start 2023 with microgoals and create sustainable good habits.

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When you are authentic, your relationships are authentic.  In contrast, when you are trying to fit into an idea of what others want you to be your relationships are not built on honesty.   

You will NEVER please everyone but you need to make sure that you are pleasing yourself but you have to know who YOU are before you can actually be authentic.    

When you are shape shifting into others comfort they are liking a false version of who you are portraying yourself to be.  That is exhausting and not something that you can maintain.  While we DO need human interaction, we do NOT need to have that interaction when it is not productive or authentic.

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In this insightful episode, we delve into the critical distinctions between emotional burnout and emotional immaturity. While both can significantly impact personal and professional relationships, they stem from different causes and require unique approaches for resolution.

Key Discussion Points: Defining Emotional Burnout: Explore how chronic stress and overwhelming responsibilities can lead to emotional exhaustion, detachment, and a decreased sense of accomplishment.

Understanding Emotional Immaturity: Learn about the characteristics of emotional immaturity, including impulsivity, difficulty managing emotions, and challenges in forming healthy relationships.

Identifying Overlaps and Differences: Recognize the subtle overlaps and clear distinctions between burnout and immaturity to better understand their impacts on behavior and interactions.

Practical Strategies for Improvement: Gain actionable insights into addressing both emotional burnout and immaturity, fostering personal growth and healthier connections.

Tune in to equip yourself with the knowledge to identify and navigate these complex emotional states effectively.

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When you feel as though someone wronged you, you may want to lash out and hurt that person so they can "feel" how you feel.

You want to seek revenge in hopes of validation of this pain but you will not get that outcome.  The relief of revenge is temporary at best and it doesn't take away that hurt from you.  It prolonges that hurt by allowing you to replay that injustice.  

Forgiveness is so powerful and allows you to free up the hold that pain has on you.  Forgiveness is NOT allowance or weakness.  Forgiveness is also not a free pass to remain in your energy field.    Let's chat about it.

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Harsh truths can be difficult to hear and accept but the sooner you do accept them, the sooner you can release the idea of how you want it to be and accept it as it is.   

Accepting that perfectionism, people pleasing and material wealth will never give you inner peace and sustainable happiness.  Its amazing to have goals and to look towards the future but don't assume that you have to acheive them in order to have peace.  

You are the only human you will live 100 percent of your life with and accepting that no one cares how difficult your life has been will be something to radically accept.

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Anger is part of our emotions but when it takes you over and causes outburts and prevents sleep then its problematic.  Anger is rooted in fear, frustration or hurt.  Yes, it can be all of those at once but it is up to you to process those feelings.  

You want to be cautious in using YOU statements and focus on I statements.  Allow yourself to communicate but don't carry expectations.  You have the power to distance from what no longer serves you.  Yes, it is a learned process and takes time.  Allow yourself that process and reprogram.

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Jennifer Hale is an amazing human who took her adversities and turned them into power. She is a Guiness Book record holder, Voice Over and Voice Actor.  I am so excited to share this interview with you guys.  I hope that you can find inspiration from her as much as I have.

www.jenniferhale.com

Interested in doing voice work?  Go out to www.skillshub.life

Follow Jennifer on Instagram @Jhalegram

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All or nothing thinking is a form of self sabotage and distorted thinking.  It will prevent you from starting projects, victim mentality, anger and self loathing.  The gray area is where sustainable self love, relationships and goals live.  Failure, mistakes and the unknown live in the gray area.  When you fear those things you are in the all or nothing distorted mindset.  

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Boundaries are established for you not anyone else.  When you hold those boundaries, other people can NOT overstep them but often they will continue to try.  This is a normal response when they have not established their own boundaries.  

To protect your peace you may have to distance and disengage from people who continue to not respect your boundaries regardless of bow badly you want them in your life.  

You must ask yourself if your peace is more important then their comfort.  You are allowed to mourn the idea of that relationship but do NOT hold on and lower your boundaries in hopes they just "get it"

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A habit is a routine that has become automatic and doesn't require a lot of thought or intent.  When you are establishing new habits you start with small integrations of the habits you want to aquire with the ones you currently have.  As with anything, having patience and realistic expecations requires baby steps and a well established plan.  

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To be self aware is to know who you are spiritually, mentally and physcially.  Know what your beliefs and morals are that align with YOU.  Self awareness is NOT the awareness of how others see you or how you think they see you.  

Knowing what makes you thrive and grow and how to protect your peace when others don't align with you is a huge part of self awareness.  When is the last time you paused and analyzed what you really like and believe in?  Lets start there.

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The ego consists of three parts, the ID, Super Ego & Ego. The ID is related to primative instint and wants what it wants when it wants it.  The Super Ego is what houses your personal morals and the ego balances the two.  

When you have trauma your ego is off balance which can be difficult to find that balance between the two.  When you work to heal that trauma part of that healing is to not live in either the ID or Super Ego.  This means you allow for authencity of self and release the need for things to be your way.  You release the expectatipns of others resonding as you would.

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Believing in yourself is essential to your personal development. To believe in self means that you can block the chatter of the voices in your head and accept that you are enough. 

To believe in self is to understand you will fail and make mistakes.  Knowing that you are enough as you are and accepting that others narrative isn't your responsibility will allow you the space to take action in living your own life.  Here are five ways to start believing  that you ARE enough.

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Overthinking can trap you in a cycle of stress and anxiety, affecting both your mental and physical health. In this episode, we explore effective strategies to break free from overthinking and examine its impact on your brain.

Key Discussion Points:

The Neuroscience of Overthinking:

Understand how persistent overthinking can alter brain structures, leading to increased anxiety and depression.

Physical and Mental Health Implications: Learn about the physical symptoms associated with overthinking, such as fatigue, headaches, and difficulty concentrating, and how it can exacerbate mental health issues.

Practical Techniques to Break the Cycle: Discover evidence-based methods to manage and reduce overthinking, including mindfulness practices, cognitive behavioral strategies, and attention training exercises.

Join me as we delve into the science behind overthinking and provide actionable steps to regain control over your thoughts, leading to improved well-being and mental clarity.

For additional resources and support, reach out with the links below

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Striving for perfection is striving for something that doesn't exist.  There is no gold standard of perfection and can be stemmed from trying to live up to others vision of perfection.  When trying to achieve "perfection" it creates burnout, disappointment, depression, anxiety, strained relationships, judgement and fear of achieving your goals.  

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Codepependency isn't just depending on your partner, family or friend for your emotional needs.  It has many layers that you may not realize falls under codependency.  The need to "fix" or "rescue" also falls under the codependency umbrella.  

Childhood and other events can be the root to where the codependency starts but not the excuse to not work through it.  It may seem scary and isolating in the beginning but you want to develop healthy sustainable relationships where neither party is in codependency.

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Judgment of others is a normal part of being a human but only when you see the situation as it is as decide if it aligns with you.  When however you try to understand their why and judge them in a superior way it creates a habit of looking for the negative in others and in self.

Acceptance that others are not you and do not have to respond as you would is a great place to focus.  

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