The Parenting Reframe podcast is a safe space for parents to feel seen, heard, and supported through this wild journey that is parenting. Hosted by educator and parent Albiona Rakipi, we explore some of the biggest parenting challenges: tantrums, potty training, challenging behaviors, neurodivergent learners, teenagers, bedtime, homework, expectations, and more. We'll chat with experts, parents, and even kids about what it means to parent and to be parented.
Albiona's 20 years of experience working with children and families, has brought her insight as she learns from parents and kids alike - even her own. Her only ask is that you stay open and curious, as we reframe parenting together.
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In this solo episode, I want to talk to everyone about the ideas of stress and feeling like there’s never enough time. Part of what prompted this topic is the US Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, just issued an advisory on parents’ mental health and well-being, citing that many parents feel overwhelmed to the point of not being able to function throughout the day. While parenting can be stressful, there are things we can do to reduce those feelings and get back to feeling more balanced. I want to walk through my five self parenting tenets to get back to your emotional well being and find your inner peace whether you’re a parent who feels overwhelmed or you’re someone who feels like the day gets away from you and you could use some extra time.
Mastering the Pause
Where are the moments of reactivity in your life?
The more you pause, the less reactive you become and you can reflect on your fears surrounding your child’s behaviors.
When you slow down, your child will also be able to slow down.
Overreacting in a moment usually escalates the situation rather than calming it down or stopping it.
Pausing helps you stay calm and steady in a stressful moment.
Practicing Stillness
Stillness does not mean sitting in meditation for a long time.
It could be one minute of deep breathing, taking a few minutes to write in a journal, or taking a walk outside.
When we practice stillness we are releasing our emotions and thoughts and giving it a space to go.
Honoring Simplicity
Try reframing your perspective to include gratitude when you feel stressed or overwhelmed.
Parenting is full of transient phases - what moment of joy are you missing out on by sitting in stress.
How can you shift your schedule or routines to honor your needs rather than add to the irritation?
Embrace Change
Think about where you can embrace change to help take the pressure off of yourself.
There can be a lot of fear around change, but working through that fear can have wonderful outcomes.
Trusting Your Intuition
The moment you’re in will get better.
Everything will always work out the way it’s supposed to work out.
Release the feelings of doubt and trust what your intuition is saying.
Resources:
FREE Workshop - Parenting YOURSELF: A personal process to Inner Peace
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Tips for Easier Morning Routines
Épisode 58
mercredi 28 août 2024 • Durée 19:24
For the topic of this solo episode I polled my audience to see what you wanted to hear about and the answer was unanimous: how to make morning routines easier. The hustle and bustle of back to school season can cause a lot of stress for kids and parents alike. New routines and schedules can be challenging to adapt to but making some small changes can help your family’s morning routines run smoothly right from the start. I have some unconventional tools that I use in my parent coaching to help make your morning and evening routines run more smoothly that I’m excited to share with you.
When our kids end up making us late:
Being late can be very triggering for parents.
When our kids can perceive we are stressed, they end up more stressed as well.
Practice being late while keeping yourself calm.
Say to yourself, “I am safe if I am late today.”
When you let go of the control and the power struggle to get out the door, things become easier for both you and your kids.
Put the autonomy back on your child:
This is for kids who waste time doing other things instead of progressing through the morning routine.
The idea was created by Joe Newman, author of Raising Lions.
Using your timer or stopwatch, allot a specific number of minutes to a morning task. Any time that your child goes over that allotment is totaled up and taken away at the end of the day from their free time.
Always present yourself as “team kid,” not as punitive or that this is a punishment. It’s an opportunity to learn and grow about cause and effect.
The child’s behavior changes on the second or third day because they want their free time to be theirs.
Find out what things you can let go:
Think about all the things that go wrong in the morning from start to finish and decide where you can let go and give them more autonomy.
When we give strong willed kids some independence, they enjoy the feeling that they matter.
Giving them a specific task and asking them for help is a great way for them to feel important and get them invested in what you need them to do.
Resources:
A Raising Lions Q+A with Joe Newman
Épisode 49
mercredi 20 mars 2024 • Durée 52:43
On this week’s podcast episode, Joe Newman, author of Raising Lions, is back to talk more about his method and how it works. His first time on The Parenting Reframe Podcast is still one of the most popular and most-listened to episodes. Joe is a kid intuitive and understands the ways kids behave. If you have used words like challenging, strong willed, or spirited to describe your child, you should become familiar with Joe Newman’s work. In this episode, we dive deep into how to use the Raising Lions methods with teens and older kids. I asked my audience to provide questions about different scenarios, and our conversation covered so many wonderful parenting topics.
What we go over with Joe:
Approaching challenging behaviors with older kids, such as using language that isn’t approved of or being disrespectful.
Stepping away from scenarios to where you don’t know what to do in the moment but you don't like the interaction.
How Joe’s Break method and Albiona’s PARR method lean into pausing or breaking in a heated situation for parents to be able to change their thinking.
Why over explaining things to kids can lead to feelings of “it’s not fair” or other behaviors that are challenging.
Teaching kids to self regulate, be respectful of others while expressing agency, and problem solve as they grow up in the world.
How parents can help build autonomy for their kids without steering their thinking.
Defiance and passive tantrums are a natural response when kids feel like they have lost autonomy
The three steps of what to do when you’re in a time pressure situation, driving, or outside of the house and you need a break.
Advice for teachers and parapros helping students at school who are defiant.
The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions:
The Challenges of Motherhood with Robin Hilmantel
Épisode 47
mercredi 7 février 2024 • Durée 36:28
In this episode, I have a conversation with Robin Hilmantel, the senior director of editorial strategy at BabyCenter, focused on the gaps in postpartum care, the child care crisis, and how mothers are still carrying the load of parenting. BabyCenter is a website and app focused on providing answers and creating community around pregnancy, baby concerns, and childhood needs. They conduct research within their millions of members to be your partner in parenting well beyond the baby years. As a mother of three, she has insight into how moms face unique challenges each day.
What we go over with Robin:
The ways mothers usually feel the shift from pregnancy being all about supporting mom to all about baby after birth.
How many moms feel unprepared to bring a baby home and care for themselves in the weeks following giving birth.
The disparities in maternal care for different demographics and the variety of ways health care providers pass along mothers who voice their concerns to other providers.
The difference in anxiety levels mothers experience depending on their maternity or parental leave from their jobs.
How the United States differs from other countries in terms of maternity leave and parental leave.
What to look and ask for when it comes to employment and maternity leave and how to advocate for yourself and your rights.
Where moms can find connection with other moms for support and resources.
Ways the child care crisis is affecting moms as they carry the burden of finding care for their children.
The “Childcare Cliff” and how it has affected child care centers when funding is removed.
Ways you can advocate for the change you want to see in regards to affordable child care and other systemic issues.
New and changing social trends with pregnancy and motherhood.
You can download the BabyCenter App from the App Store on both iOS and Google or visit the BabyCenter website at https://www.babycenter.com
Resources:
Postpartum Support Survey: https://www.babycenter.com/presscenter/babycenter-emily-oster-postpartum-support-survey-press-release_41001496
Chamber of Mothers - https://www.chamberofmothers.com/
Thriving in Co-Parenting with Mikki Gardner
Épisode 46
mercredi 24 janvier 2024 • Durée 48:49
In this episode, I sat down to talk with Mikki Gardner, author of the book The People Pleasers Guide to Co-Parenting Well. Mikki is a certified life, and conscious parenting coach committed to walking alongside moms post-divorce and separation. She wants to help moms parent their children in a calm, clear, and confident way regardless of what their co-parent is or is not doing. She uses tools and strategies to navigate this process that come from her own personal experiences. Mikki firmly believes that every parent has the opportunity to create a harmonious environment for their child.
What we go over with Mikki:
Moving out of the role as a fix-it parent and being able to sit in your own discomfort when it comes to challenges.
Using the 3 A’s (Awareness, Agency, and Aligned Action) to help put a stop to the blame game when dealing with an ex.
Stepping out of reactivity and stepping into response-ability to settle in and learn how to deal with feeling triggered.
Not “should-ing” the situation to avoid assumptions or expectations from ourselves or others including our kids and co-parents.
How to reframe our beliefs that our way is the right way to do things, especially in the context of co-parenting.
The focus of many co-parents on what they have to do in comparison to what their co-parent does or does not do and shifting to what you want your home and relationship with your children to look like.
Recognizing patterns to create a plan for a more peaceful co-parenting.
Realizing divorce has a grief process attached to it that requires compassion, time, and reflection.
Ways to calm your nervous system down in times of heightened stress or conflict.
How over- or under-functioning can occur because of a lack of trust in ourselves and how to build back that confidence in ourselves.
You can also check out her podcast, Co-Parenting With Confidence: https://www.mikkigardner.com/podcast
Raising Strong Willed Kids
Épisode 45
mercredi 10 janvier 2024 • Durée 14:51
Happy 2024! This is the first episode of the new year and I’m so excited to be back with you. In this episode, I am talking all about raising strong willed kids. I feel so passionately about this topic that I am doing a group coaching program starting this month all about how to raise strong willed kids more effectively. The reality of the situation is conventional parenting advice just isn’t that effective when it comes to parenting a strong willed kid. Parents of strong willed kids seek out advice or methods to make their lives better and more manageable. However, the results of trying these conventional tactics leave them feeling defeated or scrambling for other ideas of what to do next. Here are just some of the topics related to raising strong willed kids that you won’t want to miss:
Giving Choices
There’s nothing wrong with giving choices but the advice is over-given to the point where it isn’t useful anymore.
Too many choices is the opposite of what a strong willed child wants.
Strong willed kids want to feel like they’re the ones in charge.
When there are too many options, they begin to feel scared, out of control, and everything feels overwhelming.
Who is the safe person? Where is the boundary?
They are looking for stability and for someone else to be in power with them.
Strong willed kids value power over approval.
Setting Boundaries
With strong willed kids, boundaries have to be clear with clear actions or consequences when the boundary is broken.
We cannot rely on a lot of language or explanations because strong willed kids are smart. Explanations won’t change the outcome or the behavior.
You must hold the boundary for an extended period of time. On average, we give up trying after three attempts at a new method without a “positive” result.
We associate dysregulation with something not working in our parenting and change our method or use fear-based tactics.
Staying Calm
A dysregulated child will not calm down with a dysregulated adult. The biggest thing you can do is stay calm when your child is struggling or having a big outburst.
Resources:
All About Parenting Coaching
Épisode 44
mercredi 6 décembre 2023 • Durée 19:12
This is the last episode of 2023 (can you even believe it?!) and I am so completely filled with gratitude for every single one of you who have grown my community this year. In this episode, I am talking all about coaching. I get a lot of questions in my social media DMs and my email inbox about what I offer as a coach and how the process works. I didn’t plan on becoming a parenting coach but once I started leaning into it and taking on one-to-one clients, my passion for coaching really expanded.
What one-on-one coaching looks like:
Over a two-month period, you receive 5, one hour calls over Zoom.
Calls are every other week so you have the opportunity to practice the tools we talk about.
You have full texting access to me in real time over the course of 2 months. I can walk you through scenarios that come up between calls in real time.
This process is very hands-on. I want you to be fully supported throughout our two months together.
This is a completely judgment-free zone. It’s a safe space; don’t hold back on your thoughts and feelings.
Some of the things we cover in one-on-one coaching:
Unpacking the root causes and looking at the strategies we will put in place.
How do we move from a reactive place to a responsive place?
How to meet our kids' needs while working on ourselves.
Things you don’t find in a parenting book like reparenting tools and mindfulness.
Working on dismantling societal and cultural expectations to make the best choices for yourself and your family.
Group coaching is returning in January! Here are some of the benefits of group coaching:
More affordable pricing
Meets once a week for a month - four sessions total.
Themed sessions like gaining cooperation while simultaneously gaining connection.
You’re surrounded by other parents who are in your shoes.
Groups are capped at 10 people to create a small, well-connected group where I can offer the most support.
Coming up in 2024:
Group coaching for parents of teens and tweens. How to connect, how to parent, and how to reparent yourself if you’re struggling with your teen or tween.
Resources:
Making Mistakes Without Fear
Épisode 43
mercredi 22 novembre 2023 • Durée 14:01
This is a mini-episode where we talk all about helping our kids feel comfortable with making mistakes. Many of us have kids that are absolutely terrified of making even small mistakes in all kinds of situations. Tasks without a clear outcome, the possibility of there being a wrong answer, or simply being incorrect might lead your child to feel terribly, lash out, or become combative. When we take a wider look, we need to examine how we as parents feel about making mistakes. In this short episode, I go over the three pillars of how fear of making mistakes is created in kids and ways to help them get over these fears.
The 3 Pillars for Combatting The Fear of Making Mistakes:
1. How do you as an adult feel when you make a mistake?
Kids sense and feel more than they see and hear.
Think of the way your energy changes when you hear you’ve done something incorrectly.
Kids pick up on this and are tuned into your energy - tone of voice changes, lack of excitement, etc. This is especially true when they are a deeply feeling or highly empathetic child.
Talk through it out loud with your child to see the positive end to the mistake and walk them through the process of how you’re feeling in the moment and how to feel better.
Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t have all the answers in the moment!
2. How much space do you leave for your kids to make a mistake?
This is really important for kids who don’t like making mistakes and have an adverse reaction to it.
We as parents try to save our kids from making mistakes because we don’t like to see our kids struggling.
When you see the struggle happening, let it happen even though it’s hard.
Your kids need the experience of making mistakes. By doing this, they will be able to feel what it’s like to make the mistake, learn how to work through it, and ultimately learn that it’s okay to make mistakes.
Consider this: where is the perception of being right all the time getting in the way? Do you feel your child always has to be correct at school, a sport, etc.?
3. You want to be cognizant of how you treat other people when they make mistakes.
Resources:
Igniting Your Passions with Kelsey Murphy
Épisode 42
mercredi 8 novembre 2023 • Durée 56:04
In this episode, I sat down to chat with Kelsey Murphy, a dear friend of mine. She is a business coach who helps people start their own coaching/consulting businesses. She teaches coaches how to discover their passions and positively impact people’s lives. When I first considered coaching parents, I reached out to Kelsey Murphy for more insight because I loved her energy. She has so many great tips and information about how to get started on your own business ventures as a mom.
What we talk about with Kelsey:
Balancing motherhood with your personal and/or career interests.
Reflecting on your own expectations and comparing them to what you want and need in your present season of life.
How to get over the hurdle of deciding how to start a business while managing the mental load of motherhood.
Shifting your mindset from “I can’t” to “I can.”
Holding boundaries and being intentional about your time.
Leaning into the excitement you feel for certain ideas and building it into your long-term future and values.
Managing feelings of mom guilt in the midst of working towards your own goals and fostering excitement for things you want to do.
Reframing our ideas of what motherhood looks like for ourselves in the present moment as compared to how we were parented.
Découvrez des podcasts liées à The Parenting Reframe. Explorez des podcasts avec des thèmes, sujets, et formats similaires. Ces similarités sont calculées grâce à des données tangibles, pas d'extrapolations !
Let go of things that cause struggles like clothing or breakfast choices.
Give yourself enough time:
Even if your morning routine is taking longer than normal, having extra time will allow you to feel more calm.
You can always shift the time you allot as routines get easier and more fluid throughout the year.
My upcoming offerings:
Make sure you are signed up for my email list for a free workshop in September all about The Time Conundrum - the feeling we don’t have enough time. We will talk about ruminating on anxious thoughts and the stress of parenting to reframe the way we think about time. My email list will be the first to know about this workshop!
I have opened up spots for my self-parenting program where you’ll get to work one-on-one with me to discover what is in your way to get to where you want to be the most. I give you a step by step plan to know exactly what to do when you start to feel lost, confused, or need a reframe. Three spots are available in September.
I’m still doing child-centered parent coaching and have two spots available in September. If you have trouble with tantrums, behavior issues, or other parenting challenges, reach out!
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A calm parent will help a child calm down ten times faster than a dysregulated parent.
When the parent is dysregulated, the strong willed child’s negative emotions are either rewarded or completely shut down and do not learn how to process hard emotions.
We want to help our kids be able to sit with their emotions.
Here are the details on January Group Coaching:
Group coaching is limited to a small group of only 10 people to help build connection and lean on one another. The goal is to grow a community where you feel supported and connected to other parents going through the same things as you.
I’ll give you real tools to implement in your home. It’s a hands-on approach to help you learn new methods for parenting your strong willed child.
There will be four sessions that meet once a week for one month.
Sign up for the January Group Coaching waitlist: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe
Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf
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More webinars coming in 2024 as well!
As always, I offer a free 20-minute discovery call to see if coaching is right for you. If you’re not quite ready to sign up for a group or one-on-one coaching, set up a time to talk with me about your needs and find out how I can help you.
Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf
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The way you behave in public situations like at a store or restaurant when someone makes a mistake is incredibly important. Your kids are perceiving the way you react to people making mistakes.
Many times it happens the most between couples with everyday tasks. Sighing, rolling your eyes, and how we communicate between each other when mistakes happen can signal to your child how they might be treated when they make a mistake.
You are their safety net and where they learn morals and values. Even in the safest environment, what does it look like when mistakes happen and how does the reaction come out?
It’s in the subtle ways we react that kids notice the most.
It won’t happen overnight, but with small changes over time to the way you perceive and make mistakes as the parent, you will see sustainable and lasting change with your kids in the way they view mistakes as well.
