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Episode 977: The Willing Conversation (Classic)
09 Sep 2026
00:12:29
Note: This is a rebroadcast of Episode 748, first published on March 9, 2022. Some links and offers may no longer be valid.
Synopsis
To receive more effective referrals from the members of your BNI group, it’s really important to help them understand your business and your target market enough to identify a good referral. To do that, you need to make sure they know these four things.
What have you shared with your network that has helped you gain willing conversations with prospective customers? Share your answers in the comments.
Complete Transcript of Episode 748
Priscilla: Hello everybody and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast. I’m Priscilla Rice and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. And I’m joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?
Ivan: I am at home in Austin, Texas this week. And, you know, most of our podcasts, almost all of our podcasts, land a post on Wednesday morning. And many of you may not know this, but for the last couple of years, every Wednesday, I have Sam Horn come over in the morning. Sam wrote the book, “POP!” where she mentioned BNI, and that was before I knew Sam. And she also wrote the book, “Someday is Not a Day in the Week.” I talk about Sam and quote her in a number of places. She comes over every Wednesday morning after this podcast goes live. And we do what we call “Writing Wednesday.” But honestly, Priscilla, it’s oftentimes ‘talking’ Wednesday. We talk. We talk a lot about writing, but we talk a lot. And today’s topic is The Willing Conversation.
Priscilla: Uh huh.
Ivan: And so it’s about talking to people. Do you remember, Priscilla, when you were a kid how fun magnets were to play with?
Priscilla: Yes.
Ivan: Yeah, I loved magnets. And depending on which way you turn the magnet, they were either attracted or repelled by one another. And as an adult, we may find ourselves feeling six years old again when we make a phone call to a referral, who turns out to not be a referral at all. And similar to a magnet that’s turned the wrong direction, you’re not being embraced in that conversation, you’re being resisted. So the referral you were given that should have been a warm introduction quickly turns into a cold call.
We all want good referrals, people who want to talk to us. We want to give and receive referrals that are willing conversations about the products and services that we have to offer. And to receive more effective referrals from the members of your BNI group, it’s really important to help them understand your business and your target market enough to identify a good referral.
So here are four tips that you can follow that will help you with those willing conversations.
The first tip is The Needs Assessment. It’s really your responsibility to be very clear; it’s our responsibility – I’ll talk about it with me as well. It’s our responsibility to be very clear and specific with our referral partners about what constitutes a good referral. And this is a combination of an ideal prospect profile and the problems that we can solve for them. Because it’s not just about what you do, it’s about what solutions you have for the people that you’re working with. It’s about what Andy Bounds calls the AFTERs —what are things going to look like after you’ve worked with them.
So, the needs assessment really is an example of you clearly defining your target market. So for a corporate coach, as an example, you might say that a small to medium sized company with fewer than 100 employees, closely held business – family owned business, regional with locations, you know, local in a state or two, and that they as a coach provide themselves on higher than average retention, getting companies to have higher than average retention for employees. And they may be in a competitive industry and as an executive coach, you can help them gain an advantage. So, you know, you want to communicate your target market very clearly to the people in your BNI group.
Ivan: You also want to describe your Unique Selling Proposition. So do you have dozens or hundreds of competitors in your marketplace? You probably do. And that means that your unique selling proposition, or USP, is really important because it allows you to stand out among your competition. Your USP is a brief description of the purpose of your business. It’s stated in the most concise and compelling way possible in order to help others understand the unique value of what it is that you do. So your unique selling proposition tells people the type of client you like to work with and the benefits that you can provide for them.
And what you want to say is what makes what makes you stand out and why that makes you stand out. What do you do that your competition can’t touch? At the very least, figure out what you do better than your rivals and go beyond simply saying ‘good customer service.’ That’s really part of your unique selling proposition – what it is that you have that your competition doesn’t.
The third thing is Why Are You in Business? What’s your passion? Why do you go to work? Unfortunately, one of the most popular answers to the question is ‘to make money.’ That’s the worst answer a business professional can ever give. You’ve got to be able to describe why it is that you do what it is that you do. Why are you in your profession? How do you change lives? You know, that’s what the referral partners in your business group, in your BNI chapter, that’s what they want to know. Remember, passion really is referable. You need to go deep and identify your why if you want to truly connect with people on a personal level.
The fourth thing is, what is your Emotionally Charged Connection? Your emotionally charged connection, or ECC, is a phrase leading to a story that your referral partners can recite when referring to you. So for those of you who want to know what my ECC is, what my emotionally charged connection is, go to episode number 451: Why Do You Do What You Do? And in that episode, I shared my emotionally charged connection and why that was so incredibly important to me, and why I do what it is that I do in business. It really stems from that podcast, 451, the experience that I have, from the podcast that I talk about.
We all have an ECC, it was something that happened to you, often during childhood, that lays the groundwork for who you are as a person. It can be positive; it can be negative. Many people are not consciously aware of their emotionally charged connection yet, it’s the reason that we get up in the morning and do the things that we do every day. It’s driven by the heart, not by the checkbook, or by the head; there’s a big difference. And I’m going to also include a link in here where you can read about my emotionally charged connection. I did a blog on the same topic and so I’ll have a link here for that blog as well. The bottom line is that the better you become at sharing the information in these tips that I’ve just given you with your BNI group, the more likely you are to feel like the magnet that attracts, instead of the magnet that repels. Your referral partners will be able to give you good referrals that lead to the willing conversation.
Well, I have a question for everyone when we’re done here. Priscilla, do you have any thoughts before we wrap up?
Priscilla: No, but I haven’t heard this before and I really like what you’re talking about. I don’t remember hearing about the emotionally charged connection. Is that what it is?
Ivan: Yeah, well, you were there for me. It was episode number 451.
Priscilla: I just made a note. I’m gonna go back and listen to it.
Ivan: Go back and listen to it. It was the story — you’ll remember it as soon as I give you a little heads-up. There’s a story about my teacher, Mr. Romero, and asking who wants to be on the student council.
Priscilla: Aha, yeah, I remember that.
Ivan: Yeah. And that was my emotionally charged connection. Because after that experience, which I’m not going to restate here on this podcast, go back and listen to 451. After that experience with this teacher, who, by the way, changed my life in many ways. After that experience, I realized many years later, that almost every business I’ve ever been drawn to and ever started was about inspiring people or providing people with an opportunity to be their best. And that’s really what BNI is, isn’t it? It’s about giving people an opportunity. You know, you joined BNI, you gotta work.
Priscilla: Yeah.
Ivan: And I talked about this in the podcast, you know, in 451, it’s not like it was just a gift and I walked away and became successful. It was a gift that I had to work at. It gave me an opportunity, the gift was an opportunity, and that opportunity I had to work really hard at. And from that opportunity, I achieved the level of success in high school. And from that, I realized many, many years later, not at the moment, that that experience led me to try to give other people that experience, to try to give them an opportunity to achieve success. And that’s really what BNI is about. So, go listen to episode 451 everyone.
Priscilla: Yeah, I plan to.
Ivan: It’s a powerful story. It’s a true story. So for those of you who are listening to this podcast, let me ask you a question. I read all of the questions that get posted here, or comments that get posted here on BNI podcast.
My question is, what have you shared with your network that has helped you gain willing conversations with prospective customers? Share them here on the BNI podcast. That’s everything I’ve got, Priscilla, over to you.
Priscilla: That was great. Thank you so much, Ivan.
Episode 976: The Difference Between Persistence and Stubbornness
02 Sep 2026
00:12:58
Synopsis
Persistence becomes stubbornness when you keep trying the exact thing that didn’t work before. Healthy persistence means you listen to feedback, even when it’s difficult to hear. Refine your message, improve your product, test different approaches.
Learn to distinguish between criticism of the vision and criticism of the execution. Stay committed to the vision. Stay flexible about the path. Pivoting isn’t surrender; it’s a strategy. Hold the Vision. Improve the Execution.
Priscilla: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Official BNI Podcast. I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California, and I’m joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?
Ivan: This is like the longest spell I’ve been home in quite a long time. I went to American Airlines’ Admirals Club on my last trip, and the person at the desk said, “Welcome back, Dr. Misner. Your office is right here.” This is the Admirals Lounge, because I’ve been there so many times.
Priscilla: Oh my gosh! Yeah, in the airport, you mean?
Ivan: Yeah, in the airport. That’s right. So I now have 2.6 million miles in American Airlines alone.
Priscilla: What?
Ivan: No joke. 2.6 million.
Priscilla: What are you going to do with all those miles?
Ivan: Well, I don’t have that many left. I’ve used a lot of them, but that’s how many miles I’ve traveled.
Priscilla: Wow.
Ivan: I probably have close to a million actually in the bank, and I use [them] mostly for my kids.
Priscilla: Yeah, it’s good that y they can use them. They must love it.
Ivan: It’s a first world problem, having them.
Priscilla: Yeah, right, right, right, right.
Ivan: All right, we’ve got a fun topic.
Priscilla: Okay, good.
Ivan: The difference between persistence and stubbornness. So one of the questions I get asked a lot is about persistence. Many people know that my first major book, and I’ve talked about it in this podcast, was rejected by 44 publishers. Forty-four publishers, and this is back before the Excel spreadsheet. And I literally had a hand-drawn sheet of paper with the publisher’s name and when I sent it, when it was rejected. I had 44 publishers before the 45th one finally said yes, and that was for my first major book, The World’s Best-Known Marketing Secret. And today, that book has sold hundreds of thousands of copies, and it’s in its fourth edition. It has been translated into roughly a dozen languages, and yet it was rejected by 44 publishers.
Priscilla: Wow!
Ivan: So the question for me is always the same: When does persistence become stubbornness? And at what point is being a dog with a bone too much? Because I tell people I’m a dog with a bone, but there is a point where you know it can be stubbornness, and you have to have discernment here. So that’s a fair question. And here’s how I look at it: persistence isn’t about refusing to quit; it’s about refusing to quit the right way. Now, when I was rejected 44 times, I wasn’t doing the same thing 44 times. That’s important. I wasn’t doing the same thing 44 times. I was learning 44 times. Every rejection taught me something. Sometimes it was about the proposal, the letter that I put on the manuscript. Sometimes it was about the positioning. Sometimes it was about the audience that I wanted to have the book focus on and describe that in a letter. Sometimes it was simply about finding a publisher who truly understood the vision of the book.
Because if you think back into the early ’90s, there were no books written on networking. I wrote the first book… I did the first book ever written on business networking. So a lot of publishers were like, yeah, this is a fad. That’s what I used to get with the media, by the way: “This BNI thing is a fad,” and that’s certainly what I got. It’s now a fad with, at this moment, over 11,820 chapters at this moment. Quite a fad, and it’s a fad that’s lasted 42, almost 42 years.
So, what I’m talking about is, you know, the difference between persistence and stubbornness. Stubbornness says, “I’ll keep doing exactly what I’m doing until someone finally agrees with me.” Persistence says, “I’m committed to the destination, but I’m willing to improve the journey.” Healthy persistence means you listen to feedback, even when it’s difficult to hear. And I got some difficult feedback in my submissions, and I changed the manuscript over those 44 attempts. You refine your message, you improve your product, you test different approaches. Those are important. You refine your message, you improve your product, you test different approaches. It’s not about just stubbornness; it’s about persistence, but a willingness to alter what you’re doing in that persistence. And with every attempt, you become a little bit better than you were before.
Now, let me be clear: you shouldn’t accept every piece of advice you receive. If I had listened to everyone who told me networking was a fad, BNI would have never existed. The trick is learning to distinguish between criticism of the vision and criticism of the execution. Don’t abandon a great vision because someone doesn’t understand it, but don’t become so emotionally attached to your approach that you refuse to improve it.
I’ve often said, and I just said in a recent podcast that we did, hold the vision, not the obstacles. That’s really important. Hold the vision, not the obstacles. I believe that was the recent podcast with Tom Fleming, and it’s a quote that I used in many of my books, starting with The 3rd Paradigm — hold the vision, not the obstacles. Obstacles–they’ll always be there. They were there 42 years ago. They’re there today. They’re going to be there 10, 15, 20 years from now. The obstacles may change. The marketplace will change. Technology will most definitely change. People will come and go throughout your life. There were obstacles yesterday, obstacles today. There’ll be obstacles tomorrow.
If you focus on the obstacles, you’ll stop moving. If you hold on to the vision, you’ll find another path. Sometimes the answer isn’t to quit. Sometimes it isn’t even push harder. Sometimes the answer is to pivot, and we’ve certainly seen pivoting a lot with the increase of technology, the internet, AI, other technologies. Certainly, the mobile phone in the 1980s was a pivot point. So a pivot isn’t surrender; it’s a strategy. I’m going to repeat that: pivot isn’t surrender; it’s a strategy. It means keeping your eyes fixed on where you’re going, while being flexible enough to change how you get there.
So looking back, I’m grateful. I’m actually grateful for those first 44 publishers who said no. They forced me to become a better author. They forced me to create a stronger proposal. They forced me to communicate the value of the book more clearly. I ended up with a publisher that eventually, not with that book, but a couple of books later, made me a New York Times best-selling author. So I found the right publisher who believed in me, and believed in my vision, and he helped make me a New York Times best-selling author. Without those previous rejections, I probably wouldn’t have written a book that has endured for decades. I mean, I wrote that book in 1994, so it has literally endured for decades.
So here’s my rule: persistence isn’t doing the same thing over and over. Persistence is getting better every time you try. If you’re learning, if you’re improving, and you’re adapting, you’re being persistent. If you’re simply repeating yesterday’s mistakes, you’re not being persistent. You’re just being repetitive. Stay committed to the vision. Stay flexible about the path. I want to repeat that. Stay committed to the vision, but stay flexible about the path. Persistence is believing in your vision enough to improve your execution. Persistence is believing in your vision enough to improve your execution. If the market keeps telling you no, you don’t ignore it. You interpret it. Don’t confuse rejection with direction. Rejection tells you something needs to change. It doesn’t necessarily tell you the dream is wrong. So here’s a new Ivanism for you, Priscilla.
Priscilla: (chuckling)
Ivan: Okay, it’s a variation on Hold the Vision, Not the Obstacles. I say Hold the Vision, Improve the Execution. Hold the vision, improve the execution, and that is a healthy way to be a dog with a bone, and to understand the difference between persistence and stubbornness. That’s my message for today, Priscilla.
Priscilla: Great, I’m impressed that you were able to kind of bounce back after so many disappointments. Do you have anything to say about that?
Ivan: Yeah, there were a lot of disappointments. I mean, every time I got a letter, I was like really excited when it came back. If it came back with a thick envelope, I knew it was a rejection because they didn’t even want to keep the manuscript. They sent it back to me. But you know, when I got the individual letters, I was excited. Is this it? Is this it? And 44 of them, it wasn’t.
And one in particular, a publisher was in Los Angeles. It was a major publisher, and they invited me to their office. And I went there, and they said, “Tell me more. We’ve seen your manuscript. Tell me more about the book.” I told them more about the book. I was really excited, and right there, right then, sitting in that moment, they said, “Yeah, no, we’ll pass.”
Priscilla: Oh, God!
Ivan: And I remember thinking, “I’m never going to be an author.”
Priscilla: You never what?
Ivan: I mean, I thought that for a moment — I’m never going to be an author. This was my, this was my really big chance.
Priscilla: Yeah.
Ivan: And I walked out of that meeting, and I was like, oh heck no! That may not have been the words I used. Might have been, oh bad word, bad word, no, um, no.
This is a good book. People need this information. They need to know how to build their business through referrals, and I’m going to keep going. I’m going to listen to the advice that they gave. One of the bits of the advice they gave was that I had too much of my doctoral dissertation in it, and it was a little too academic. So, okay, that was a fair comment. And so, I pulled some of the academia out of it, redid the manuscript again, and resubmitted it. Actually, ended up resubmitting it just a few more times before I got my first yes.
Priscilla: Mm hmm.
Ivan: Well, I know we’re out of time, Priscilla, but that was a great question. Thanks for asking.
Priscilla: Oh, yeah. Well, thank you for letting us know how you dealt with that. Okay, well, I think that’s it. Thank you so much for the great information.
Episode 975: Your Vision to Success
26 Aug 2026
00:12:24
Synopsis
Envision yourself standing in a field. About 30 feet away is a 30-foot-high wall. That wall is your vision for your business and your life. Ten feet short of your vision is a wall of obstacles. If you can’t see the vision over the obstacles, you get discouraged and give up. Tom Fleming joins the podcast to show you how to grow your vision.
Tom Fleming’s model of human motivation
Come to BNI membership with a vision, and hold that vision to overcome any obstacles you encounter. That means engaging in all-out effort with respect to attendance, one-to-ones, passing referrals, and bringing visitors. Tom’s high-achieving vision as a BNI member is
Three one-to-ones per week
Three referrals per week
Two or three visitors per month.
Build a vision for your relationship and your business with every conversation you have in BNI. Try it for six months and see how your results grow with your vision.
Priscilla: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Official BNI Podcast. I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California, and I’m joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?
Ivan: Lady Priscilla, it’s wonderful to hear you. Greg Davies from one of the previous podcasts called you Lady Priscilla, I love that. So I might use that moniker every now and then.
Priscilla: (chuckling) Okay.
Ivan: You’re not a big fan, but I might use it. I am in this hot Austin weather. We looked at my swimming pool gauge, and my swimming pool, not heated, is over 90 degrees [F].
Priscilla: Oh.
Ivan: So it’s like a sauna. It’s hot.
Priscilla: You can just turn it into your bathtub.
Ivan: Yeah, pretty much, yeah, absolutely. So I have a guest today, Tom Fleming. Tom has been on my podcast five previous times. Not too many people have been on the podcast five times. That should tell you something about my opinion of Tom’s contributions to the organization. He served in various leadership roles in BNI, including training owners to track more referrals, from 1996 to roughly 2024, and he continues to impact people’s businesses and lives. He’s now the founder of the Vision Institute. Tom works with business owners to craft a vision for their business and their life, which I think is really important. Within this framework, Tom also supports people with creating a financial vision for themselves with an emphasis on retirement planning. So it’s our goal to make a living and create a life, according to Tom. Tom loves supporting people with creating creating that life. Tom is in Nancy Short’s [BNI] region, and she’s lucky to have him as part of her region. Tom, welcome back to BNI Podcast.
Tom: Well, thank you so much, Ivan. And yes, here in Florida, our pool is a little over 90 degrees as well.
Ivan: (chuckling) All right, we’re in the same boat, and/or pool actually.
Priscilla: (chuckling)
Ivan: So we’re going to include a diagram in this podcast so people can see what we’re talking about. Could you explain the diagram that’s in here?
Tom: Absolutely, I’d like the listeners to envision themselves just standing in an open field, and about 30 feet away from them is a 30-foot wall, and that wall represents their vision. Their vision of their business and/or their life, if you will. And about 20 feet out, 10 feet short of your vision, is a wall of obstacles, perceived obstacles, if you will. And for some of us, sometimes those perceived obstacles are higher in effect. Therefore, we can’t even see the accomplishment of our vision, and that obviously makes us feel overwhelmed and maybe even depressed and hopeless.
But there is a strategy for people in that situation, and the strategy is to decrease their perceived obstacles. And where I shine is in increasing the vision that they have for their business and their life. And I know you have an opinion on this, Ivan.
Ivan: And it’s congruent with yours, I believe.
Tom: And yours is don’t even pay attention to the obstacles?
Ivan: Well, no, no. My perspective on this is: focus on the vision, not the obstacles. The obstacles will always be there. Obstacles were there for BNI in 1985. Obstacles are part of BNI today, obstacles will be around, you know, 20 years from now. So it’s hold the vision.
Tom: Mmm.
Ivan: This is my philosophy: hold the vision, not the obstacles. Work through, around, over, under, whatever. Work through the obstacles and focus on the vision.
Tom: I love it. I love it absolutely. And obviously, people are interested in, “Well, Tom, how does this apply to BNI?”
Ivan: Yeah.
Tom: And I think a lot of members come into BNI with, well, we’ll see what happens.
Ivan: Yeah.
Tom: And my thought is, let’s enter our BNI membership with a vision. I know many people who generate hundreds of thousands of dollars in business from BNI, and I know you know many people who generate millions of dollars, yen, pesos from BNI on an annual basis. I think we have to hold that vision in our mind to overcome what people perceive as obstacles in BNI. Meaning engaging in all-out effort with respect to attendance and one-to-ones and passing referrals, and bringing visitors.
Ivan: No, I agree. What else?
Tom: So really again, it’s about people generating a vision of getting your “twos” or your “threes” on a weekly basis. Investing in three one-to-ones per week, three referrals per week, maybe; two or three visitors per month. Because I think that level of engagement-people being on the field instead of in the stands-that’s when they are going to get results, given the philosophy of Givers Gain.
Ivan: Yeah. Can I just say — you mentioned three one-to-ones in a week? I think that’ll burn people out. I’m not opposed to it, but I want people to understand that networking is a marathon, not a sprint. And I would just be ecstatic if people did four a month. Ecstatic. And the numbers show that four a month will double the number of referrals they both give and receive. The average member listening says, “Three?” Three is a big ask, and I don’t want members to burn themselves out. But look, you ran an incredibly successful region, so we can disagree slightly and still be in the same ballpark.
Tom: Well, I also mentioned getting your twos, which is yes more aggressive than what you’re sharing. My point is… now, I tend to be a little bit of an overachiever.
Ivan: You think? Yes, yes you are, Tom, and that’s a good thing. I wish I had more overachievers like you.
Tom: Got it. But you know when I get engaged in something, I’m going to play full out, and I think if a lot of members who had the type of personality or behavior that I have, I think if they engage at that, in that level, realizing that BNI is part of their marketing plan, it’s not something they just belong to, it’s part of their marketing plan, I think their results would double, triple, quadruple. I might recommend to people: try it out for six months — see how it goes.
Ivan: Okay, and then what?
Tom: Well, I think this model also applies to conversations in BNI. For instance, if I’m meeting with a fellow member, maybe someone who’s in my Contact Sphere, I need to share with them and sell them on the fact that being in a relationship with me is a fantastic investment.
Ivan: Yeah.
Tom: And we want to build a vision in their mind of what’s possible if we work together. I don’t know if it’s in print anymore, Business by Referral?
Ivan: It’s not, but much of what is in that book is in the fourth edition of The World’s Best Known Marketing Secret.
Tom: Excellent, excellent. That book is a goldmine of networking strategy when it comes to 15 ways others can promote you, which that number may have changed; 18 tactics to motivate your sources. I’m going back to my time — back in the day, if you will. But using those strategies to build a vision in the mind of your referral partners of how you can work together to build visibility, credibility, profitability with each other. Again, I just think it’s a goldmine.
Ivan: Yeah, and that’s where VCP came from, was that book.
Tom: Yes, absolutely, absolutely. I think bigger picture too. The model just relates to life and business. I think if people have a very small vision of their business, I don’t know what level of engagement they’re willing to put forth towards their business. Versus if we support people with thinking through what’s possible with one’s business, I do believe it…
Ivan: Doesn’t this go back to your original conversation about the obstacles? I think people see the obstacles in front of them, and they lose sight of the vision behind those obstacles.
Tom: Yes.
Ivan: The obstacles they’re always there. I’ve never done anything in business that didn’t have obstacles. And so the key is, like I said earlier, to work around, over, through, under, whatever it takes — hold the vision, not the obstacles. And when you can do that, then you’re going to be successful. I see BNI people that just get caught up in the obstacles, and what happens when they get caught up in the obstacles is that’s all they talk about. And if that’s all they talk about, they become experts at the obstacles…
Tom: Absolutely.
Ivan: …and not experts at the vision. And so, what people have to do — and that’s why I say hold the vision, not the obstacle, because you want to be an expert at the vision. And the more you can get people to focus on the vision that you’ve got, the more successful that you, as an individual, that a chapter is.
Tom: I think your wisdom that you just shared is just kind of a great way to wrap this conversation up.
Ivan: Yep, I agree. Is there anything you’d add? I love your graphic. I’ll make sure it gets put into the podcast. You’ve been a great participant in the BNI program for many, many years, and I appreciate everything that you have contributed over the years. Any last thought?
Tom: No, just other than thank you for allowing me to continue to contribute via this platform. Whenever I have something that I feel will give members an opportunity to think through a different model or a strategy, I’m happy to contribute and I thank you.
Ivan: My pleasure. Your Vision to Success, Tom Fleming. Tom, thanks for being on. Over to you, Priscilla.
Priscilla: Okay, thank you both. That’s great information.
Episode 974: Don’t Google, Greggle
19 Aug 2026
00:12:36
Synopsis
When he became a BNI Executive Director, Greg Davies-Polaine made it his job to be the go-to person for chapters in his region. Every time he visited a chapter, he gave them this weekly presentation:
Hi, my name is Greg Davies-Polaine. I’m your Executive Director. My whole job is ensuring that you get the most value from your BNI membership as you possibly would like to receive. If you’re looking to place a product or service this week that isn’t represented in this room, don’t jump onto an online directory. Don’t jump onto an online purchasing platform. Reach out to me first.
If I can place that order with another BNI member that you just haven’t met yet, that revenue will stay local. It will stay in a local community and go around five to seven times before it inevitably disappears off into a national chain. And everyone it touches, it will have a positive influence on, and a rising tide really does lift all boats. So remember, Don’t Google, Greggle.
Even if you’re not an Executive Director, you can become the go-to person for your chapter and your clients, the person they go to before they Google. The podcasts listed below help show you how.
Priscilla: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Official BNI Podcast. I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California, and I’m joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?
Ivan: I am still in the sweltering heat of Austin, Texas. I need to learn to leave Austin in August. I don’t know why I haven’t figured that out yet.
Priscilla: Okay. And who do you have as a guest today?
Ivan: I have a good friend of mine who’s been to my home, Greg Davies-Polaine. Greg’s done a couple of podcasts with me as Greg Davies, and since gotten married and has hyphenated his name, which we had a long conversation about before we actually got on the podcast, which I think is interesting.
Greg is known as the Storyfella. He uses his passion for telling stories to help communities and individuals thrive. He says working hard is sometimes unavoidable and necessary. I agree with that. But if we understand why we’re doing it and surround ourselves with people who inspire us to be better, it’s worth the effort. I agree with that as well.
He’s a best-selling author. He’s done two books with me, Infinite Giving and Infinite Legacy. Both were best-selling books. He’s a multi-award-winning Director of BNI and an international inspirational speaker. He still finds time to drum with the mighty Goat Patrol, I have no idea what that is. Off air, we should talk about that, Greg. And he is a not-so-secret Disney fan, and I got to tell you, I love Disney’s customer service theories a lot.
So, Greg, this is your fourth visit to BNI podcast. The last two were on membership, and I think let me look here at episode 897 and 898. It was so much great content we had to break it into two.
Greg: Yeah, it was an absolute privilege, and thank you for having me on. Good evening, Lady Priscilla. I believe we need to say, Lady Priscilla, now you are an absolute BNI institution, and Dr. Misner, thank you so much for having me on.
Ivan: (chuckling) Lady Priscilla. I like that. I’m sure Priscilla loves that too. That’s really nice.
Priscilla: (chuckling)
Ivan: Nobody’s ever called me Sir Ivan, but that’s fine. I can live with that. Lady Priscilla. Yeah, thank you. So, Greg, our topic today is an interesting title: Don’t Google, instead, Greggle. So, I think that’s about really becoming the go-to person for your network. So, talk about becoming the go-to person for your network.
Greg: Yeah, absolutely. It’s all about positioning. I’ve been in BNI 20 plus years now, and like a lot of people, when I joined, I joined close to where I live, close to where I grew up, and where my business was based. So I was able to refer my clients, my suppliers, my family members, my friends, my social spheres, those I met at the school gates, all those kind of things to members. And I would also go out and find really good specific referrals for people.
When I decided that my path lay within BNI and I wanted to step up and help people across the region, my [local] region wasn’t available to me. So the region that I now run, London Southeast Bromley, and Croydon, which I’m immensely proud of what the members have achieved, is about an hour to an hour and a half drive. So when I walked in there, I didn’t have any established network. My business was now my members, so they were my customers, and wherever I could, I pivoted my supply chain to BNI members.
But I needed to find a way of adding value to my members each and every week, and that’s where the title comes from. That was my strap line for my weekly presentation. So I think the best way of explaining it is just for me to do a very quick weekly presentation. So I would stand up each week and say, “Hi, my name is Greg Davies-Polaine. I’m your Executive Director. My whole job is ensuring that you get the most value from your BNI membership as you possibly would like to receive. If you’re looking to place a product or service this week that isn’t represented in this room, don’t jump onto an online directory. Don’t jump onto an online purchasing platform. Reach out to me first. If I can place that order with another BNI member that you just haven’t met yet, that revenue will stay local. It will stay in a local community and go around five to seven times before it inevitably disappears off into a national chain. And everyone it touches, it will have a positive influence on, and a rising tide really does lift all boats. So remember, Don’t Google, Greggle.
Ivan: I love that. That’s hysterical, and I didn’t do it nearly as humorously and creatively as you. But when I started BNI, I did in fact send out a snail-mail letter that said, “You know, if you’re looking for a referral in one of these professions, contact me.” It was long before the internet, and many people, in fact, started contacting me and wanted to be connected. So it was really about becoming a connector in the community. But I like Greggle better.
Greg: Absolutely. I mean, I remember the podcast. I’ve been rerunning the podcast again, and you’ve had some fabulous ones. I think in the one you’re referring to, you use the term Rolodex, which you then have to explain.
Ivan: Yes, which is… for the Gen Z people, it’s not a watch.
Greg: It is definitely not a watch. No, it’s like a printed-out version of the contacts file on your mobile phone. That’s what a Rolodex was.
Ivan: Oh, and what I love, Greg, is that you listen to the podcast. Too many directors don’t listen to the podcast, so I’m impressed that you know which one I was talking about.
Greg: They are an incredible resource, and actually, what was really powerful about that was the fact that you didn’t list all of your members’ names, the member names, and the phone number. You said, “If you need anyone, please get in touch with me. I insist you reach out.”
Ivan: And yeah, I just listed the professions, not the names.
Greg: Yeah, and that really is the key about positioning yourself as the go-to person in your network. So, what I’ve just done there with the weekly presentation — I know we have Ambassadors and Directors at all levels who listen to this podcast regularly – and I would pivot your weekly presentations, if you haven’t got a specific message to deliver, when you get the opportunity, say something along those lines in your words. And then people will come to you and ask you to connect people across regions, across counties and countries, and internationally. I’ve had all of those wonderful things.
But in terms of membership, how would you position yourself in the middle of your referral network? Well, we’ve covered a lot of them on the podcast previously. There was a great one with Dawn Lyons about referral layering, where she talks about using multiple referral generation systems. But there are some really, really simple ones that I make no apology about going over again because it will be the first time that some people have heard them. It will be the 10th time that others [hear it], but this will be the time that they act upon them.
So the really simple one for me is: whenever you’re interacting with a customer or a supplier, whether it be over a WhatsApp voice message, whether it be old school, actually on the phone or face-to-face. Once you’ve concluded all of your business, just ask them the question, “Is there anything else I can help you with today?” It’s so powerful, and it actually confuses people. “Well, what do you mean? I’ve just placed an order with you,” and then you can go on and say, “Look, I work with 20, 30, 40, 50, 100, 200 local businesses I see week in, week out. I know them. I like them. I trust them.
If you’re looking for some help, either in your home or your business, please come to me first. I’ll be able to recommend you someone who I trust that lives by the same ethics and morals in their business that I do. That’s why I know them, and they’ll look after you in the same way that I look after you. So that’s one really, really easy way about positioning yourself in your network.
Email signature. We’ve heard loads about…
Ivan: Can I just add something to that, Greg? I’ve seen a number of members who’ve actually handed out their business card holder for those countries that are still using business card holders, and as they’re filling out whatever paperwork, they say, you know, take a look through this, and if there’s any professions in here that you see [and are interested in], let me know because I…” and then it’s the same speech that you just gave, but you’re actually showing them business cards of other people.
Greg: Absolutely. And since the Great Pause, when we kind of took away the tactility around BNI, we took away business card folders and business cards, and I’ve noticed now, people started using those again. So speak to your chapter leadership. Speak to your regional leadership. Get these business card holders back. They are an incredible tool for generating referrals ongoing.
Ivan: We’re almost out of we’re almost out of time. Do you have some other practical tips for generating referrals, or was that all you have?
Greg: Yeah, absolutely. Do your email signature. Make sure that there is something along those lines. If you need anything, please reach out. Replicate what Ivan did with a Rolodex, but do it regularly on social media. These are a list of professions I work with week-in week-out. If you need them, reach out to me.
And I’m just going to end very, very quickly. I have people message me now saying “I need a Greggle.” I’ve become a noun, which is wonderful.
Ivan: (chuckling)
Greg: And I just want to read this to you. “Morning, all. I’m sitting here at a wedding venue on the shores of Loch Lomond, preparing for my daughter’s wedding this afternoon, reflecting on the fact that 25 years ago, when I joined BNI, she was six years old. And I just wanted to thank you all, both past and present members, for the support you have given both my business but also my family throughout that time.”
Now I’m reading that because three weeks before, Martin Greggled me and asked if I could find a videographer to go to Scotland, which is the other end of the country, and to live broadcast his daughter’s wedding because two elderly relatives couldn’t make it. We found someone through our contacts, and they live-streamed that wedding. So the people who couldn’t be in the room got to witness that incredible day. That is how powerful becoming the go-to part of your network can become.
Ivan: That’s an incredible story, Greg. Or should I say, Greggle? That’s an incredibly powerful story. Any last comment before we wrap up?
Greg: All I would say is, if anyone needs any products or services in London Southeast, don’t Google, Greggle.
Ivan: Oh, Greg, I really truly loved working with you on the previous two books. There’s a chance we might be working on a third book. You and Julian are a blast to work with, and I want to thank you for being on the BNI Podcast again.
Greg: Thank you so much for the opportunity.
Ivan: Over to you, Priscilla.
Priscilla: Okay, well, that was really nice. I liked that podcast very much.
Episode 973: The BNI Foundation and Ambassador Program
12 Aug 2026
00:15:44
Synopsis
Shirley Towne returns to the podcast to introduce the BNI Foundation Ambassadors program. Ambassadors are BNI members who represent the BNI Foundation in their chapters and in their regions. By visiting other chapters as a Foundation Ambassador, you grow your own business by helping the BNI Foundation. Ambassadors also help bring more nonprofits into BNI through Givers Gain Grants and other initiatives that support nonprofits.
Priscilla: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Official BNI Podcast. I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California, and I’m joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?
Ivan: I am at home in Austin, Texas today. [It’s] the sweltering heat of August for Austin, and I’m just thankful that the deity of your choice made swimming pools and air conditioning.
Priscilla: (chuckling) Oh, that’s great! And who do you have on as a guest today?
Ivan: I have somebody who’s been on the podcast now five times. Five times, Shirley Towne. Shirley has done many different podcasts for the BNI Podcast, including one of my favorites, podcast number 730. And let’s put a link in the podcast for it. I love it because Shirley talked about the fact that she used to pay, as I recall — Shirley, correct me if I’m wrong, it was $5,000 a month for yellow page advertising.
Shirley: That is so correct.
Ivan: Yeah, and the Gen Z people are going to go, “What’s the yellow pages?” But just advertising, and the BNI membership ended up, you know, making more money than the advertising, and so the whole point of that podcast is: if BNI cost you $5,000 a month, would you treat it differently? And I just love that concept. It’s one of my favorite podcasts. Go listen to it, episode number 730, done five years ago. Welcome back, Shirley. This is your sixth visit to BNI Podcast.
Shirley: Honored to be here.
Ivan: Yeah, you’re such a great Director. You joined BNI in 2013. You represented ADT Home Services, and you brought a lot of passion, obviously, to building your chapter. In 2017, you stepped into the role of [BNI] Executive Director, and I’m so glad you did. You’re the Executive Director for BNI SC Midlands [South Carolina, USA], where you really quickly made a significant impact. In your first year, you grew the region from 269 members, and over the last eight years, it’s got an impressive 761+ members. So, your leadership and your results have driven an approach that have earned you recognition as the Executive Director of the Year, three consecutive years in the organization, and the honored, prestigious CEO Award by Mary Kennedy Thompson, and it’s just such a pleasure to have you as part of the organization. And you’re now… condolences or congratulations are in order…
Shirley: (laughing)
Ivan: You’re now the Chairperson for the BNI Foundation, and that fits because you’re known for your heart for service and commitment to growth. And so, welcome back to the BNI Podcast.
Shirley: Thank you so much. I told somebody today that I always said that when I retired, I wanted to help nonprofits raise money. And to be able to do that now through BNI is just a dream come true. So to be able to have an impact through the Foundation and all of our nonprofits, I’m just honored to be able to do so. It’s like a huge congrats for me. It’s like pinch me — I can’t believe I get to do this.
Ivan: Well, pinch me. I’m happy that you’re doing it because you know it’s really important to have new blood come into a nonprofit or onto a Board [of Directors]. I’m a believer of that. I just am stepping down from the TLC board, which I’ve been on for over 14 years, and it’s good to have new blood come in and with new ideas and a new set of energy. Even when the previous board, which I was certainly a member of in BNI and a member of in the Transformational Leadership Council [TLC], even when the mature board has done amazing things, it’s still good to have new people come on, and that’s what you’ve done with the BNI Foundation.
Shirley: Yeah, I’m excited for it.
Ivan: So, can you briefly tell us… You know, the podcasts go by so quick.
Shirley: Yes.
Ivan: Can you briefly tell us what the mission and the impact of the BNI Foundation is?
Shirley: Yeah, so the BNI Foundation is to benefit children and education, and we do that through different avenues. Business Voices is where you put your talent in. You go to local schools and have an impact on that level. We have Future Leaders Week, where we spend time with young folks, letting them know all about BNI and mentorship. We also do some amazing Givers Gain Grants, where we really work with the schools in areas to be able to help them with giving them grants. And then lastly, there’s the [Misner] Endowment Fund, which I love because it’s going to make the BNI Foundation live forever to be able to do all this good stuff.
Ivan: Yeah, and if anyone wants to be a Misner Fellow, just go to the BNIFoundation.org website and find out how you can become a Misner Fellow. We hit our first level of goal. We wanted to go over a million dollars in the Endowment, and we now have that, and we’re excited about that. But you also wanted to talk about something reasonably new, and that’s the BNI Foundation Ambassador.
Shirley: Yes, so I was a member of BNI and didn’t know about the Foundation until I went to a conference, and so it’s my goal to get it out at the chapter level. And why not have BNI Ambassadors that are on the ground level that are members really representing the BNI Foundation in their regions and in their chapters. And so that’s what we’re doing.
We’re getting a bunch of nonprofit-minded, Givers Gain-type people that will bring our initiatives to the chapter level. And so we have Ambassador calls every other month, and we get all the Ambassadors together to talk about what we’re going to do next. And the biggest part of that is the Business Voices. Like what can we do in our local schools to help our teachers and our leaders really be impactful in what they do through Givers Gain Grants and all of the other initiatives that we do through the Foundation.
Ivan: So people who want to become Foundation Ambassadors, and I think that’s a great concept because as a member, you get to go visit many chapters as a Foundation Ambassador, and so it sort of helps two things: it helps the Foundation, but it also helps you as a business person. How can people become a Foundation Ambassador? Where would they go for that?
Shirley: Yeah, so visiting our BNI Foundation Facebook page, we always announce when we are going to have the Foundation calls, and so you can register for that call and jump on the call, and we’ll share with you how to get involved at the chapter or regional level, and even the national level. So we have some folks that are doing some things like the Walk and Talk. We have Elaine Zambos that is going to take the idea that we do the Walk and Talk at conferences, and we’re going to bring those down to the regional level to just have some networking, but also to have an impact with the Foundation.
Ivan: Yeah, I just went to Facebook and typed in BNI Foundation on the search engine, and I got Facebook.com/BNI Foundation. So that’s where you go, and then you can always leave a personal message and say, “Hey, I want to be an Ambassador, and somebody will get back to you.
Shirley: Absolutely.
Ivan: So, how can this lead to having more nonprofits in a [BNI] region that can work with the BNI Foundation? Because we don’t want to compete with nonprofits. We believe that we are compatible, and so how does this lead to nonprofits participating?
Shirley: So that’s where I think my biggest vision is. Early on when I would ask members, they would be like, “Oh, I want to help the Foundation, but I don’t want to disrespect the nonprofit that we have in our chapter.” I’m like, “We never want to do that,” and I said, “Tell me about your [chapter’s] nonprofit.” It just so happens that their nonprofit had to do with children and education. I’m like, “You’re the perfect fit. Like, you are exactly what we’re looking for.”
But even nonprofits that have nothing to do with children and education, we’re not going to compete with you on any level. We want to help every nonprofit take their mission next level, and so in our region we’ve worked really hard to come up with programs to support all nonprofits. We want to have webinars and get that out there. I hear that the month of November is going to be a great month to learn about BNI nonprofits and how you can get nonprofits to join your chapters. And so we’re going to be working with Heather [in BNI] Marketing to push out some of those things.
But we have initiatives that go year-round to help all of our nonprofits, and then where the BNI Foundation is symbiotic, like we can help you with Givers Gain Grants if you work with children and education. So why wouldn’t we go out into the world and try to bring in a nonprofit to your chapter that has to do with children and education, and then it’s a win-win situation. But even if it’s not to do with children and education, we still can help you come up with programs to really take your nonprofit next level.
Ivan, I did not know that nonprofits even existed in the BNI world until I heard a [BNI] podcast with you where you talked about how nonprofits are a big fit. And after I heard that, I was like, “Oh, I’m going to get nonprofits.” We have 22 nonprofits in our region today, and it’s all because I heard a podcast about you. That’s what got me to reach out to you and say, “Can we do a podcast about the BNI Foundation?” Because that’s how I learned, and I’m hoping that others will hear this and will learn about the BNI Foundation, and we can really get it out across our nation, but across all of the countries. We have a lot of amazing things happening in countries through Business Voices.
Ivan: Yeah, Business Voices is the community outreach arm of the BNI Foundation. I mentioned BNIFoundation.com. I just did a search. At this moment, there’s an error on that connection. So you can also go to BNIFoundation.org, and that website is currently working just fine. Also, the Facebook page you mentioned, I happened to see a post for the Ambassador presentation, so that seems to be going on actively. And those are two great places where people can join. I’ve actually had members say to me, “I joined BNI because of its commitment to charitable work.”
Shirley: I love that.
Ivan: I just love when I hear that.
Shirley: Yes. I mean, it is the way that BNI gives back. Like we operate off of a Givers Gain philosophy, but the Foundation is the way that we give back, and I love that.
Ivan: Well, we’re out of time. I know you wanted me to share one story.
Shirley: Yes, I did.
Ivan: And this is a BNI Business Voices story. We had a number of chapters in a region on the east coast of the United States where it gets very cold [in the winter] go to an elementary school and ask the principal, “How can we help you?”
And the principal was first of all blown away. He said, “Really seriously, you guys want to help?”
They said, “Yeah, what can we do? What’s your problem?”
He said, “At the moment, our biggest problem is that we have kids going to school with no shoes or with shoes with holes in them, and it’s cold. There’s snow. It’s freezing. When children’s feet are cold, they’re not going to be able to pay attention in class.”
And so it was amazing. The region was like, “We got this,” and the principal was like, “What do you mean?” “No, no, we got this. We’ll take care of this.” And within just a few weeks, they delivered literally truckloads of shoes, lightly used, and in many cases, brand new children’s shoes. They had to pick a room [at the school] to store all the shoes so that no children would have bare feet or shoes with holes in them again. And to me, that’s such a great Business Voices project.
Shirley: Oh, I love that story. That’s amazing. Like that’s the impact that we want to have. And you hit on something, “How can we help?” Like to go to a school and ask that question — they will tell you. They will share it.
Ivan: They will. All right. So if you’re interested, go to the Facebook page for the BNI Foundation or go to www.BNIFoundation.org, and you’ll be able to get to the website. Shirley, thank you so much for your time. You’ve been on probably as much or more than almost any other director, and that honestly, that shows you how much I respect your contributions to the organization.
Shirley: Ivan, that means the world to me.
Ivan: Thank you, Shirley. Over to you, Priscilla.
Priscilla: Okay, great. Thank you both so much. That was a wonderful podcast.
Ivan: Priscilla, I’ve never done this at the end of a podcast, but I’m going to throw something else in if you don’t mind, and that is, if you’re an Education Coordinator, please share this information with your chapter. They really need to hear it. Thanks, Priscilla.
Priscilla: Okay, great. Thanks, Ivan.
Episode 972: The Power of Small Talk
05 Aug 2026
00:12:07
Synopsis
Small talk isn’t about filling silence. It’s about opening doors. The goal is to express genuine interest. One thoughtful question creates a conversation. One conversation creates a relationship. And one relationship can change a business — or even a life.
Some Thoughtful Questions
Who is your ideal client or referral partner?
What’s something exciting that you’re working on that most people don’t know about yet?
What’s a challenge you’re dealing with right now?
What can I do to assist you with that?
Who do you know that I could help right now?
Before we wrap up, what’s one thing I should remember about you?
In your BNI chapter and with other people you’ve met before, pick up a previous conversation, refer to something they’ve said in a presentation, or bring up something positive another member said about them. Choose three of the questions in this podcast and try them during Open Networking or in your next One-to-One.
Priscilla: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Official BNI Podcast. I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California, and I’m joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?
Ivan: I am doing great, and I am in Charlotte, North Carolina this week, today at BNI Global Support Office, and I’ll be talking to the staff and taking a look at the new museum room that has been set up, so I’m excited to be in Charlotte.
Priscilla: So, what do you have to share with us?
Ivan: Well, you know, I’ve been having a lot of people ask me about Small Talk, and I’ve done a couple of podcasts on it, and I’ve got some new content, some new material. So I thought I would talk about The Power of Small Talk, and how little conversations can develop into big relationships. I’m sure you’ve heard, I’ve certainly heard people say, “I’m just not good at small talk.” I hear that all the time.
Priscilla: Oh, right, that’s a phrase.
Ivan: Yeah, I’m just not good at small talk, or I don’t like small talk. Personally, I think small talk gets a bad reputation. The problem isn’t small talk, the problem is staying there in small talk. Small talk shouldn’t be the destination, it’s the doorway. And if you never walk through the doorway, you’re never going to build the kinds of relationships that generate referrals, generate opportunities that can build lifelong friendships. Networking isn’t about collecting business cards, it’s about collecting relationships, and relationships almost always begin with small talk, opening conversation. I recommend you do a search on small talk, and you’ll see a number of the podcasts that I’ve done on this, and this has some different content than what I had on those others.
Many people think that they have to say something brilliant in the small talk. Well, you don’t. You just have to make the other person feel important. That is what you need to do. So, here’s something I’ve learned over 40 years of building BNI. Many people forget, they forget exactly what you say, but they’ll remember how you made them feel when your conversation makes someone feel interesting, respected, or appreciated. You’ve already separated yourself from most of the people that they’ll meet that day. So, what do you actually say?
Let’s start with meeting someone for the first time, instead of asking, “So, what do you do?” Try asking, “What’s something good that’s been keeping you busy lately?” One [question] asks for a job title; the other invites a story, and people remember stories, they don’t remember job titles.
Another question is, and I love this, “What do you enjoy most about what you do?” That question shifts people away from facts and towards passion. People light up when they talk about what they enjoy. Here’s another favorite. “How did you get into that?” Almost everyone has a story, and stories build a connection faster than resumes ever will.
Since this is a BNI Podcast, here’s a question that every member should become comfortable asking, “Who is your ideal client or referral partner?” With that, you’re really asking, “Who can I help you meet?”
Another great question is, “What’s one challenge you’re working through right now?” You know, helping people solve problems is where referrals begin, and relationships begin. And I know I’ve told stories about this, where I’ve asked a question about what’s one of the challenges. And you don’t want to lead with this question, because it’s not a good question to open with, but when somebody has talked a little bit to you, then you say, “What’s your biggest challenge right now?” or “What’s one of your challenges?”
And I remember creating a great relationship with someone who was talking to me about a nonprofit [organization], wanting to start a nonprofit, but didn’t think he was big enough to do it, and I referred him to a community foundation, which you basically set up a fund under 401(c)(3) charitable foundation, and I’ve talked about that in a podcast. And so helping people solve problems is where relationships and referrals begin. It certainly did in that case.
One of my favorites is, “What’s something exciting that you’re working on that most people don’t know about yet?”
Priscilla: Mmm.
Ivan: Yeah, I think that’s a great one. And before ending the conversation, ask, “Before we wrap up, what’s one thing I should remember about you?” I love that question. Now, remember… it’s not an interrogation, it’s a discussion. So don’t go in with a list of questions, and I’ve actually seen people go, “So before we wrap up, what’s one thing that I should remember about you?” Wait, you know, just have these tucked away in your mind, so that you can ask these kinds of things and get people to open up.
Now, let’s move to other people that you’ve already met. Try beginning, you know, somebody that you met, you know, like a BNI member. This is what you ask, “I’ve been thinking about what you said last time. We should pick up on that conversation. We should pick that conversation back up.” That tells someone that you’ve listened, you remembered, and you cared.
Now, particularly online groups for BNI and hybrid groups, you should be taking notes of what members [say]. If you’re working on your computer, it shouldn’t be email. You should be taking notes on what members are saying, so that when you do a One-to-One with that person, or when you do a breakout with that person, you can absolutely ask this question. “You know, I’ve been thinking about your presentation last week or two weeks ago, and I’d love to pick that conversation back up.” That tells people you’re listening while they’re doing their presentations.
Take notes about people in their weekly presentations, especially online, because it’s really easy to get distracted. Or you can say, “That idea you shared really stuck with me. I actually used it.” Or you can say, “I appreciate how consistent you are. You always show up.” Or “I admire the way you handled that situation that you discussed.” These show that you’re listening to people.
Here’s one especially valuable inside BNI. “Who do you know that I could help right now?” It’s just a conversation from “What can I get?” to “Who can I serve?” That’s Givers Gain in action.
And perhaps the most powerful question of all is one that everybody’s heard me say, “How can I help you?” And you know, it’s funny, Priscilla, true story. I was doing a live radio interview just a few years ago, and I talked about meeting people and small talk. I talked about asking… you know, if you feel like there’s some kind of connection with the person, asking “How can I help you?” And the talk show host just shut me down right there.
It’s like, “Oh, that old phrase, “How can I help you? That never works, I don’t recommend that.” Well, you know, I’m on live radio, I don’t want to get into an argument with the guy, and I’m just like, “Well, I find that kind of works. But let’s move on. Let’s talk about that other topic you wanted to talk about.” And so, you know, I just moved the conversation on. Here’s what was interesting: when the interview was over, I said, “So what kind of people are you looking for to bring in to interview,” and he gave me some professions and some specific names. And I told him, I said, “You know what, I know that person. I know that person really, really well. Would you like me to reach out to them and see if they’d be willing to be on your show?” And he’s like, “Wow, really? Yes, that would be fantastic.” And I said, “That’s how you say, ‘How can I help you?’ without actually using those words.”
Priscilla: Right.
Ivan: And he said, “Touché. You’re absolutely right. You just found a way to help me, you didn’t use those words. Those tired old words,” he called them, “but that’s exactly what you did.” And it works. Everyone, it works. It really does. If you want to help somebody, ask some variation of that. “What can I do to assist you with that?” “How can I help you?” “Who are you looking for in his case?”
So, one more phrase: “I’ve been hearing great things about you.” Then give an example. “Been hearing great things about you.” When you say that, when you say, “So and so was just talking about what a great job you did,” you’re giving someone the gift of their reputation. You’re showing… you’re putting a mirror up to them with a positive vision of their reputation.
So here’s the big lesson on small talk. Small talk isn’t about filling silence. It’s about opening doors. The goal isn’t to impress people. It’s to express genuine interest. That old saying that it’s not about being interesting, it’s more about being interested is the key. When you become more interested than interesting, people naturally become more interested in you.
This week, those of you listening to my podcast, choose just three questions from today’s podcast, just three, and use them at your next Open Networking session at a chapter meeting. Or during your next One-to-One, or with someone you’ve been meaning to reconnect with. Choose three questions and ask them those three questions and let them just shine. One thoughtful question creates a conversation. One conversation creates a relationship. And one relationship can change a business – or even a life.
Because in BNI, we know that small talk may start the conversation, but meaningful conversation builds the relationship. And relationships are where referrals live. So, until next week, keep building your network, and remember, networking is more about farming than it is about hunting. It’s about building those relationships, and the seeds that you plant through simple conversations today often become the referrals you harvest tomorrow. That’s my message this week, Priscilla.
Priscilla: That’s great. I really like that, and I think it’s very helpful.
Ivan: Thank you. I appreciate it. And for those listening, I’d love your feedback. Leave a message on the podcast. I read every single message that gets posted to BNI Podcast. Thanks, Priscilla.
Priscilla:
Okay, you’re welcome. Thank you.
Episode 971: What Is Essential to New Members?
29 Jul 2026
00:13:40
Synopsis
Identifying the most essential things to connect business goals to activities in BNI results in more lucrative and successful memberships. Jenni Butz, Director of US CORE Training at BNI Global, introduced the twice-monthly 1st Year Member Essentials webinar to help new BNI members find value in their memberships in the earliest days. It covers the basics of BNI and provides a chance to ask live questions.15,000 new BNI members have gone through the program since its launch a few years ago.
Two questions show up again and again in participant surveys:
How do I use BNI Connect?
How do I give a good presentation?
Have you taken the 1st Year Member Essentials webinar? Tell us about your experience in the comments.
Priscilla: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Official BNI Podcast. I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California, and I’m joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?
Ivan: I am melting here in Austin, Texas.
Priscilla: (laughing)
Ivan: July and August is hot. I have to put water out by my beehives because they desperately need something to cool them down.
Priscilla: Oh, your beehives.
Ivan: Yes, they’re fun. They’re fun. One day… I’m sure I’m going to learn some lessons about bees and business, and someday I may do a podcast on it. But today I have an amazing woman who has been with BNI for some time now, and she’s been on the BNI Podcast before. Her name is Jenni Butz, that’s B-U-T-Z. She’s a former high school French and English teacher. Jenni joined a BNI Chapter and see in the Seattle area in 2012 and was an employee of a tutoring company, and soon started her own business as a professional speaker and emcee. In that business, she’s worked with nonprofits, women’s groups, and businesses to help them grow effective communication. She’s written books, including Six-Word Lessons on Effective Communication, and it is available on Amazon. In 2018 Jenni began supporting several BNI regions in Director roles and now serves as the Director of US CORE Training. CORE is Company Owned Regions. She is the Director of CORE Training. Jenni, welcome to BNI Podcast.
Jenni: Thank you so much for having me.
Ivan: It is great to have you. We’re going to talk about something that’s reasonably new, and towards the end of this podcast, we’re going to give a few descriptions on where you can find what Jenni is going to be talking about. But Jenni, you started hosting the 1st Year Member Essentials webinars a few years ago, so could you talk a little bit about that?
Jenni: Yeah, it’s been one of my favorite things to do in the last few years with BNI. We started to see that new members were easily overwhelmed, and we wanted to have one place that we could try to grab as many as possible, and I think in the last three or four years we’ve had more than 15,000 new members come on. And we just cover the basics of BNI, kind of like Member Success Program that we have in BNI Academy, but we want to give them one place where everybody gets the same information and they can ask live questions. And so it’s been a really great thing. We do it twice a month, and new members really seem to enjoy it.
Ivan: Now, this isn’t meant to replace Member Success Program training, but to really, I would think, kind of nudge them into wanting to do it.
Jenni: Yeah, exactly. They sometimes do one first, and then the other, it just depends. But we’re really trying to communicate to [BNI] Regional Teams, you know, the Support Directors, Ambassadors, as well as specifically targeting Mentor Coordinators, to help new members get onto this webinar, because it just reinforces a lot of the things they’re getting in Member Success Program, but with a different format and with a different voice, and sometimes it lands differently.
Ivan: Yeah, so getting new members really assimilated into the chapter in the first 90 days helps them in many ways. I’m sure it helps them make more money.
Jenni: Yes, yeah, because they don’t know what they don’t know.
Ivan: Yeah.
Jenni: And so what we are trying to counterbalance is sometimes they’re hearing from people outside BNI, or maybe even people in their own chapters, ‘Just to be patient, you won’t really see any value in your membership for another year or so.’ And I want to tell them that that’s not true at all. We want to help them find value in their memberships in the earliest days of their memberships. It may not be their dream referral right away, but there’s value in the connections, there’s value in the resources, and so we want to gear them toward that, so they can make that crucial connection between the goals they have for their businesses and what they’re doing in BNI, so that they can start to see an ROI as quickly as possible.
Ivan: Yeah, there’s a lot of different variations of return on investment. One is knowledge [and] information – using BNI members as a resource for suggestions and ideas and support. And of course we want them to get referrals, but the referrals do take a little longer, depending on what profession. And I mean, a florist is going to get referrals much quicker than, say, a financial planner, but it does take a little bit of time, because people have to trust you.
Jenni: Right.
Ivan: And depending on what business you’re in, that trust may take a little bit longer. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get a return on your investment of time way quicker if you’re in a business that has a long Time Confidence Curve, would you agree with that assessment?
Jenni: Oh, for sure, yeah. Because even in your One-to-Ones, you’re learning what podcasts I should be listening to, what books I should read, and what conferences. I remember in my first BNI Chapter, I had a business coach and a web designer in the chapter, and One-to-Ones with them were so valuable in the early weeks of my membership, because I had no idea… I’d never built a website for a business before. And I was a teacher, so I didn’t know anything about business and the laws and how to incorporate and those kinds of things. So, just meeting the people in chapters can be a super, super high value early on.
Ivan: You know, sometimes members say to me, “You know, BNI just makes me do a lot of stuff.” I’d love to hear your thoughts about that, but my thought is, yeah, we want you to do a lot of things to make money. It’s all about you getting a return on your investment relationships and the advice, like I said, but also, you know, more referrals and more business. These are these are not things to do for BNI, these are things to do with your marketing team. Would you agree with that assessment? Would you alter that?
Jenni: Oh, [I agree] 100%. We have been talking to members for several years now about the fact that you don’t work for BNI, you’re not doing this for us. Sometimes they don’t want to show the Power of One [Report] or the chapter traffic lights, because it feels like, oh, we’re shaming people. We say these are the metrics that successful members use to make more money. So we want to help you do the things that are going to help you. We work for you. Let us give you the tools and resources you need, because you have to meet the goals you have for your business.
Ivan: Yeah, absolutely. So, what have you learned about what’s essential to brand new BNI members from the surveys and the conversations that you’ve done since you started this?
Jenni: Yeah, I’ve probably read thousands of surveys since we’ve done this.
Ivan: I’m so sorry.
Jenni: (laughing) I actually find it fascinating because you can see so many patterns, and data is… I’m a words person, not a numbers person, but when data can tell a story, then I’m in.
Ivan: I’m 100%… I agree completely, actually.
Jenni: And so this has been kind of a revelation. When you see so many things that always pop to the surface, it has to be true. And so we have seen over… all of the things that we introduce and present on this webinar, over and over again, the surveys will say, “I wish you had spent more time on…” and they always say two things.
1. How do I use BNI Connect? How do I put in my One-to-Ones? How do I know what my Thank You for Closed Business is? How do I know if I can log in? Is it the same as BNI Academy? Like, logging in is the number one thing that they need help with.
Ivan: Yeah.
Jenni: And the second one is: How do I give a good presentation? Give me examples.
And it’s not just about being a good speaker, it’s about being a good speaker who can articulate specifically who I need to meet to take my business where I want to go. And so if we can help…..
Now, I take these surveys and I send them on to the field teams to people who can help, and I’ll say, “If nothing else, touch base with the Mentor Coordinators and talk to the new members and ask them, “Can you log in?” Because if you can’t log into… Now we’ve got this great MyBNI.com–one-stop shopping gets you to BNI Academy and BNI Connect, but if they can’t log into that, they really don’t have access to anything, and their frustration might keep them from finding resources that could really help their business.
Ivan: Yeah, MyBNI.com — it’s new, it’s really critical. If you don’t know how to get onto it, connect with your Director, just like Jenni is saying.
Jenni: Yeah, yeah.
Ivan: So I’m guessing that the feedback you’re getting is that this has been really helpful. I mean, I can’t imagine that that hasn’t been the overwhelming response.
Jenni: It has been. I had Dr. Caroline Irvine give our statistics a look a couple of years ago to see, to compare people who take 1st Year Member Essentials with the general population of first-year members in BNI, and it was an increase of first-year retention of about 4 to 6%, somewhere in there. Now it may be we just grab the most engaged people and they happen to be on here because that’s the kind of person they are. Or it could be that by having a reinforcement and a live webinar where they can ask questions, and I send a follow-up email. I tell them how to record their first CEUs. Sometimes it’s the first hour of learning they’ve had in BNI, which is very exciting. It reminds me when I was a first-year French teacher, and I thought every word of French, you know, I taught you.
Ivan: (chuckling)
Jenni: It’s a point of pride that everything they’re learning in this BNI webinar is going to help their business, and they heard it here first. It’s kind of exhilarating, actually.
Ivan: So, there’s a website where anyone can find out the calendar of events. Now, in some countries, it is in the [BNI] regional website, but not in all countries. However, everyone everywhere can go to the calendar of events at BNInw.com correct?
Jenni: That is correct. Yeah, we started this as a pilot in a few regions, and now it’s in all of the US Company Owned Regions. But I do know that there are some Executive Directors in the US and Canada, and a couple of other countries, who have gone to that website, BNInw.com, and taken that information, copy and paste the links, copy and paste what I’ve written, and they’re happy to put it on their own websites. And if anybody is interested in getting the emails that I send out, because I’m really convinced that the communication that goes out before and after each of these webinars every month is crucial to getting people on it. I think when I send the email reminder the night before we’re going to have one of the webinars, I usually get 100 more people who register, so that communication is crucial, and I’m happy to share that with anybody.
Ivan: And at the time of this recording, you are doing these on the second Tuesday and the fourth Wednesday of the month, and your calendar will say what time, right?
Jenni: Right. We do different days and different times to work around chapter meetings.
Ivan: All right, remember that. Now most of what we do, we really want to be evergreen, so if years from now someone’s listening to this podcast, we are also putting up right now, there’s one of the recordings up on BNI Academy, but we may put another one up or update it from time to time on BNI Academy, where you can actually see a recording. Although I always recommend you go live, because you have a chance to ask questions, that’s always more powerful. Jenni, we’re out of time. Any last thought before we hand it over to Priscilla?
Jenni: I just really, really hope everybody can do their Member Success Program and 1st Year Member Essentials, because when we can narrow down the most essential things to connect business goals to the activities in BNI, we are going to see far more lucrative and successful memberships for all of our members, and that is my hope for everybody.
Ivan: That is a one-two punch, and the statistics I’ve heard with the Member Success Program training are even higher. So, what Jenni was talking about was this program, but those who have also done the Member Success Program training, retention rate is significantly higher than the average first-year member who doesn’t do the MSP training.
Jenni: Absolutely.
Ivan: So, thank you, Jenni. Back to you, Priscilla.
Priscilla: Okay, perfect. I think that was a wonderful, enthusiastic podcast with lots of great information.
Episode 970: Sailing or Scaling?
22 Jul 2026
00:14:22
Synopsis
Are you sailing a lifestyle business or scaling a legacy business? Kip Kint believes anyone who runs a successful lifestyle business can scale it into a legacy business that doesn’t depend on its founder.
A lifestyle business depends on you, your relationships, and your expertise.
The ceiling for sailing is your personal capacity. The business has no resale value and dies when you retire.
Scaling doesn’t have to be global. You can scale in your own city, region, or country.
You cannot scale without scaling intentionally.
You can leverage the paradigms, commitment, and follow-through that got you where you are to scale your lifestyle business.
The potential for scaling is limited only by your generosity and your investment in others.
Have you scaled your original business? Share your experiences in the comments.
Priscilla: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Official BNI Podcast. I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California, and I’m joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?
Ivan: I am doing great, Priscilla, and I am at a Transformational Leadership Council meeting. I’ve talked about TLC a lot in many of the podcasts. It’s an organization started by Jack Canfield and I believe that everyone needs to be part of various networks, and TLC is my knowledge network that I’ve been a member of now for almost 20 years.
Priscilla: Wow.
Ivan: Almost 20 years in that organization. So I’m stepping down from the [TLC] board of directors this year. So I’ve been on the board for 14 years, and I’m just going to be a regular member after 14 years of being on the board.
Priscilla: Oh, that’ll be a relief, maybe.
Ivan: Yeah, it will be a little bit of a relaxing time for my visits there. I’ve got a guest on today, he’s been on once before. Kip Kent was on [BNI] Podcast number 563. Kip is the Executive Director and owner of BNI Utah South and BNI North Texas. He was a BNI member since 2005 He has scaled his Utah South region to be the highest penetrated BNI region in the US. Kip is a three-time US Franchise Region of the Year recipient, two-time Executive Director of the Year. He’s a recipient of the Founders Award, the CEO Award, the National Director’s Award, and he has served two terms as the chair of the [BNI] Franchise Advisory Board. And he was a keynote speaker at the recent [BNI] US and Canadian National Conference in Orlando, which is the reason he is on this, because I heard him do a presentation called Sailing or Scaling: Building a Lifestyle Business or a Legacy Business. Love the concept, Kip. And welcome to the BNI Podcast again.
Kip: Thank you, Ivan. I appreciate it, and I’m happy to be here.
Ivan: So, talk about a sailing lifestyle business versus a scaling legacy business.
Kip: Okay, yeah, happy to. And let’s just start with sailing, right? A lifestyle business, that’s my metaphor for a lifestyle business. It’s typically designed around the owner’s desired lifestyle, as the name kind of implies. Freedom is the objective, so we are still talking about a quality business, a business that grows, it grows intentionally, but the founder remains at the helm to continue with the sailing metaphor. The business revolves around the owners, their relationships, their expertise, their decision making, their personal effort, and their capacity. But growth could be limited a little by that personal capacity – their own time, their energy, the complexity that they themselves can handle. And let me just clarify, it could be them and a small team of people. It’s not necessarily only the solopreneur. It could also be a little limited by their reluctance to take the risk to trust and invest in others. Business slows if they step away, and it should be a conscious choice, and it still can be a great business for the right entrepreneur. So, the bottom line is sailing is about a lifestyle business that ultimately creates freedom for the owner.
Ivan: But they… as long as they are active in it, and once they walk away, that’s kind of it.
Kip: Yes.
Ivan: And it’s not very saleable, or it’s not nearly as saleable as the scaling, which is what you’re going to talk about next.
Kip: Exactly.
Ivan: So, what is scaling in a business?
Kip: So, scaling or legacy business, first of all, it’s a very intentional process. Like you can potentially sail, or at least reasonably sail by default, even a little bit by accident. But you cannot scale without scaling intentionally. It’s a very intentional process. Business becomes larger than the original founder owner. It’s built to thrive beyond the owner. So we’re talking about it being powered by systems, people beyond the owner, leadership, culture, repeatable processes. Growth is no longer constrained by one person, and ultimately the vision is that it creates greater impact, greater enterprise value, greater opportunity for more than just the owner, less founder dependence, multi-generational…
Ivan: Longevity. That’s important.
Kip: Yes, that’s really the key. Longevity. Thank you. So it’s legacy beyond the owner and leaders, you know, replace dependence on the founder, right? So, no more is it dependent solely on the founder.
Ivan: Solely on the founder. Yeah, so you know, I’ve talked about scaling a lot, and I’ve talked a few times about a book I’m working on called Garage to Global, and so when we talk about scaling, I want the members to hear this. It doesn’t have to be global scaling. It could be scaling your business right there in your city, it could be scaling it regionally, it could be scaling it in a state or province, national, or it could be global. So scaling is really kind of up to you and your goals, but scaling is leaving a legacy business, as opposed to sailing. Which you know, I have a good friend who just sailed until he just couldn’t sail anymore, and unfortunately he sailed his business right into the water, and it sunk, and he was not able to then sell. And he had an amazing legacy… could have left him an amazing legacy, but didn’t. And so I vote for the scaling version, even if it’s not scaling national or global.
Kip: And I love what you said about it. It doesn’t need to be global. The question is, will it live beyond you? Will it impact lives, whether it’s local or regional, or at whatever level? Is it going to survive you and continue to impact lives long past your involvement in the business?
Ivan: Yeah. All right, so you talk about leveraging personal 10x jumps in your life. I love this material, and I’m going to be meeting, I think, the author of that material at the Transformational Leadership Council meeting I’m headed to. Talk a little bit about that.
Kip: Yeah, so people often ask me, just as a business coach or as a fellow entrepreneur, How can I have a 10x jump in my business, or really scale my business if I’ve never done it before? And I introduced this concept in Orlando in my keynote. You can absolutely do it, because you have already 10xed several times in your life. And I believe this about, literally, every person, things that you’ve gone through, that you’ve evolved beyond as personal 10x jumps. And I shared a little bit in Orlando about when I went into the military, you know, I was a young 18-year-old. What had I ever really done in my life? You know, I’m a high school graduate, etc. And so I went into the military, and listen, I wasn’t making much money, so which still was probably a 10x jump in my income, because I was making nothing in high school, but it wasn’t some big sum of money. But my growth as a human being, physically – my growth having gone through basic training and really getting in shape, my growth in terms of discipline, execution, leadership, it was at least a 10x personal jump for me in my life. And it did become the foundation for other 10x jumps down the road in other parts of my life. I’ve talked a little bit about my religious service for my church over in England, and how that was totally different than what I did in the military, and the level of sacrifice and giving and service, the spiritual growth for me personally, the service rendered to other people on a completely volunteer basis for two years, I 10xed again in a completely different way.
Ivan: Yeah, different things. So, can you give at least one suggestion for BNI members to 10x their business?
Kip: Yeah, so I would suggest that you look back in your own life and be reflective about this. When did you make big jumps in your heart, in your mind, in your paradigms, in your growth as a person? Not necessarily financial. Leverage the things that you did, the way that you evolved your paradigms, your commitment, your follow-through, leverage those in what you’re trying to accomplish with your business. Once you get out of your own way, and you realize you really can do it, then it’s just a matter of deliberate choice and doing the things that are required to 10x in your business.
Ivan: Yeah, so I think one of the things that you’re pointing out that I think is interesting is that you can 10x to multiply your success or what you’re looking for 10 times, not just in business but in personal life, and they are interrelated. And for me, when I started working on the book, Who’s In Your Room?, I 10xed my life. Absolutely. Because I really wrapped my brain around my values and wrapped my brain around the whole idea of the people that I surround myself with, and when I did that personally, it substantially increased the lifestyle that I had, because I was surrounding myself with the right people, but also the business continued to grow.
Kip: I love that. And by the way, just a little FYI, Who’s In Your Room? profoundly impacted my life. Because when I first read it, I was at a point where I was literally sailing, not scaling, and I realized I’m going to have to have the right people in my room, whether it’s on my direct team or my expanded network outside of my team, so thank you for that.
Ivan: I love hearing that from people, thank you. We’re out of time. Can give me a real short answer on why it’s important to choose purposefully whether to sail or scale?
Kip: Well, again, you can’t really scale without it being a deliberate choice. I do recommend that if you’re going to sail, make sure that you are doing that on purpose, and it’s not just born of ‘I’m not sure how to scale,’ right?
Ivan: Yeah.
Kip: If you’re gonna sail, sail deliberately. I’ll leave you with just a little quote, and maybe a couple book recommendations.
The ceiling for sailing is your personal capacity.
The potential for scaling is limited only by your generosity and your investment in others.
If you could read only two books that would help you scale your business, please read Who’s in Your Room? by Ivan Misner, and The Science of Scaling by Benjamin Hardy. Those two will go a long way toward helping you decide and purposefully scale.
Ivan:
I’m looking forward to meeting Benjamin later next month. Actually, this month; I’m looking forward to seeing him. For anyone interested in more information on Kip, go to BNIUtahSouth.com or BNINorthTexas.com. Thank you so much for being on BNI Podcast again.
Kip: Thank you, Ivan.
Ivan: Over to you, Priscilla.
Priscilla:
Okay, great. Now I understand the title. Thank you so much for that real interesting information.
Episode 969: The Shadow We Cast as Leaders
15 Jul 2026
00:13:25
Synopsis
Culture is the shadow we cast as leaders. Mary Kennedy Thompson, CEO of BNI, joins the podcast to explain three aspects of a winning culture: Behavior, Priorities, and Relationships.
It’s not your beliefs that make you a better person, it’s your day-to-day behavior. How you behave is more important to your employees, vendors, and customers than what you say. They model their behavior on yours.
When a leader is struggling, almost always it’s because they have too many priorities. Write down your priorities in order of importance and put the bottom half of the list on hold while you focus on the top half.
Relationships are one of BNI’s core values. Because we can only build relationships one moment at a time, it’s important to have multiple moments, like weekly meetings and One-to-Ones.
You set the tone for your chapter and your business by what you do and what you allow. What you allow is what you get, so hold yourself and your team accountable for living up to your values.
Priscilla: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Official BNI Podcast. I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California, and I’m joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?
Ivan: I am doing great, and I leave later this afternoon for California to go see my eldest daughter and my grandson, and son-in-law who’s an amazing young man. So I’m going to take a few days off this week.
Priscilla: That’s great. Okay. Well, tell us what you have for us today.
Ivan: Well, I have a guest, and she is an amazing person. She is the Chief Executive Officer of BNI since 2024. Her name is Mary Kennedy Thompson. Mary has more than 30 years of leadership experience in franchising and business development. Previously, she served as the Chief Operating Officer for Neighborly®, and she had significant contributions that were made for the growth of the world’s largest home services franchise organizations. It’s a series of organizations. She’s a former US Marine Corps logistics officer, and Mary began her career as a successful multi-unit franchise owner and has since become one of the most respected leaders in the franchising industry in that association. She’s recognized for driving growth, fostering innovation, and building meaningful business connections worldwide, and when Mary actually ran a franchise, she was a BNI member. Mary, welcome to the BNI Podcast.
Mary: Well, thank you, Ivan. Thank you so much for having me here today, and for the kind introduction.
Ivan: Well, listen, my pleasure. I thoroughly enjoy working with you, and not a lot of Founders can say that about the CEOs they work with.
Mary: (laughing)
Ivan: And frankly, probably a lot of CEOs can’t say that about the Founder, but I think we have a really good working relationship.
Mary: I can say you’re an amazing Founder, Ivan. We celebrate you each and every day, and we’re grateful that you created something that has allowed so many of us to belong to something very remarkable.
Ivan: Well, thank you. I appreciate that, and I love working with you. So there are a number of things that you want to talk about with leadership, and I’ve heard you talk about this content before, and I love it. When leaders cast a shadow, what’s that look like?
Mary: Yes, you know, I started thinking about this a few years ago. You know this very well as a Founder and a leader, when you’re a leader, you often have a spotlight on you, and that spotlight creates a shadow, and the shadow is the culture of our organization. It’s what everyone sees that maybe we, as a leader, don’t see. It’s tied around our behavior, our priorities, and how we build relationships.
Ivan: Yeah, and that’s really part and parcel with the culture that you’re referring to. Yes?
Mary: Absolutely. The shadow that we create as leaders — it is the culture that we create in an organization. And I’ve been very fortunate to belong to some organizations and groups that are very high values. Everything from my family to the Marine Corps to Neighborly and now to BNI that has a great set of core values, that you know… the essence about who we are is all about Givers Gain. And how leaders behave and what they do sets that tone and that culture for the company. And I’ve heard you say this before, and I’ve always believed it, that culture eats strategy for breakfast every single day.
Ivan: Yeah.
Mary: Culture will always win. I’ve been part of very high-growth companies over the years, and the ones that grow are the ones that have high culture.
Ivan: So, you talk about three places where leaders can create culture: Behavior, Priorities, and Relationships. You want to touch upon those three?
Mary: Certainly. I like to think about behavior. A lot of people believe that what they’re supposed to do is tell everybody what they believe.
Ivan: Yeah.
Mary: And it’s really not your beliefs that make you a better person, it’s your behavior. And it’s not big, giant behaviors, it’s everyday behaviors. One of the examples I give is one of my former mentors, who I worked alongside for close to 18 years, Mike Bidwell, he was very much a servant leader, but he never walked around telling people he was, he just was. And one time, long ago, he came into my office, just to check on me and see how things were going, and as we were talking, the drawer on my filing cabinet kept opening, because my filing cabinet was a little askew or wonky. And when the drawer opened, I kind of kicked it shut, and then partway through our conversation it opened again, and I kicked it shut. And on the third time, when it opened, he asked me, “Does that happen a lot?” I said, “It does, but don’t worry, it doesn’t bother me. I just kick the drawer shut throughout the day,” and then we went on with our conversation.
I really didn’t think another thing of it until about a week later, when I realized it had been a few days that my filing door cabinet had not opened, and it was because he’d come in and put a wooden shim… He had come in early in the morning, and I was an early in the morning person, so was he. He’d come in earlier than I had and put a wooden shim under my filing cabinet, so it was fixed. And he never walked in and said, ‘I’m the CEO, look what I did for you,” and he never walked around to anybody else and said, “See what I do for others.” He just did it, and it made me want to do that for others. It made me want to be better and to serve others in a quiet way, that it’s what you do, not telling people what you believe.
Ivan: Yeah, it is a behavior, and words are powerful. Everybody knows words are powerful. But the older I get, the less I believe in words and the more I believe in behaviors.
Mary: Very much so.
Ivan: Because it’s easy to say words, but to have those behaviors match those words, that’s powerful, and that, if it’s a healthy behavior, is what creates an amazing culture.
Mary: Well, when you think about the shadow you cast, you don’t realize you’re doing it. When I was a franchisee in Cookies by Design, we used to have this big order. Actually the order came from my being a BNI member, it was Dell Computers, and as a member I was in the same room with the VP of Marketing. And Dell when they were brand new, they just moved into their building, but they did a really large order with me every year, and I mean it was tens of thousands of dollars, and when you’re selling cookies, that’s a lot of order. And they came early one morning to pick up a big grouping of this order, and they had extra money that the team had put together because they were doing some cookies for a party they were doing, and when I went to write out the invoice, it was really early in the morning, the lady said, “You know, you don’t need to ring up the cash, just we’ll just take the cookies, don’t worry about it.” I said, “No, no, no, I.. I need to ring that up. We ring up everything here.”
Now, I didn’t think anything about it, but my baker was there early that morning, catching up on baking, and she had heard that conversation. And about a year later, when she got ready to leave the organization, she got ready to leave my company, she was moving and she said, “You know, I told everybody, don’t ever steal from this company, don’t ever steal from Mary, because Mary won’t even steal from herself or from the company.” She said, “I saw what you did, and I always told everybody that.” I never even thought, when I was doing that, that anyone noticed or was watching. And so our behavior really is what makes us better, and it’s the everyday things that we… if we say we’re doing it, the question is, are we doing it?
Ivan: Yeah, the words, the words are good, but the behaviors — they cement the words. Because they see that you act out those words in real life. Yeah.
Mary: Exactly.
Ivan: You got two more: Priorities and Relationships.
Mary: So, priorities are… sometimes I’ll sit with somebody, a leader who might be struggling to get things done, and I’ll say, “Let’s list out your priorities.” When a leader is struggling, almost always it’s because they have too many priorities. I think people believe it’s because they don’t have enough, but it’s not. It’s because they have too many, and they start listing them out. And there was an interesting study done at MIT about the human brain, and it finally concluded that humans really cannot multitask, that we’re not capable of that, and those of us who think we’re good at it are really bad at it, and you really can work on one thing at a time.
And so when I sit with leaders, I often help them figure out which priorities to say no to in the interim, so they can say yes to the most important ones, and I will also ask them, I’ll say, “Show me your calendar,” because I can tell you your priorities by what’s in your calendar, both personally and professionally. So, if your priority, you know, if you say family is a priority, if you have no time set aside in your calendar for family, like you just said, you’re about to take some time off and go spend time with your daughter and her family, and your grandchildren, you put that on the calendar, and so that’s important as well. And so our priorities tell us where we’re going and where we’re heading, and I encourage people to sit down, write out their priorities, and take the bottom half of those priorities and pause them until you can really focus on the most important.
And then lastly on priorities — someone told me once, “You know, you’re juggling all these balls. You have crystal balls and rubber balls, and you just need to make sure the crystal balls never fall out of your hands, that they never hit the ground.”
Ivan: (chuckling)
Mary: And at any given day, I have rubber balls that are bouncing all around me. But those crystal balls, the most important things, like the member experience, like where I spend time with my family, like how we interact with our members — those are crystal balls that I can’t afford to drop and must pay attention to. And so those are the few. And know what your crystal balls are.
Ivan: We’ve got about a minute left, a little over. Talk about Relationships. How does that fit into this?
Mary: Well, one of our core values is building relationships, and we only can build relationships one moment at a time. And that is why, like for instance, at BNI, having those weekly meetings, those weekly meetings help create and build those relationships, so we can help one another and do business with one another and serve one another. We do it by building relationship, one One-to-One at a time, one weekly meeting at a time, and by really seeing the individual and getting to know them.
Ivan: Last question for you, What should leaders do… and we’ve got a lot of leaders, I mean, really, almost everyone in BNI is a leader at some level, they run a business, maybe run a sales department, they own a business, so we’re all leaders. Of course, we have Leadership Teams in our chapters. What should leaders do to set the tone in their organization and/or their chapter?
Mary: Well, you know, I would say you set the tone by what you’re doing and what you’re allowing, and oftentimes what we allow is what we get. Not oftentimes, all the time. So I encourage people to look to see — what are we allowing? Are we allowing members to do things like miss meetings without having a substitute and stay in the chapter? Are we allowing people on our team to be lesser version of themselves when we know they can do better than that? Are we allowing ourselves, are we negotiating with ourselves, which we shouldn’t do, and being a lesser version? Let’s not allow that, because that’s how you build culture.
Ivan: Yeah, the accountability is one of our core values, and it’s important. And I want to do a podcast on a theme that I’ve talked about once or twice, and that is accountability is something that you do for someone, not to someone.
Mary: I love that. Absolutely.
Ivan: All right, I’ll do a podcast on it coming up in the next couple months. Mary, thank you so much for being on BNI Podcast, and for being such an amazing CEO for the company. And, of course, everyone listening, visit BNI.com if you’d like to see Mary’s bio, you can see Mary, a photo of Mary, and learn a little bit more about her. Thanks for being on BNI Podcast. I appreciate it.
Mary: Thank you, Ivan. We appreciate all that you’ve created for us. It’s helping hundreds of thousands of people really build meaningful businesses. Thank you.
Ivan: Thank you. I love what I do, and I love that you let me do it freely, and you’ve just run with the ball, so it’s, it’s a blast.
Mary: Same back to you, sir.
Ivan: Back to you, Priscilla.
Priscilla: Okay, great. Well, thank you both. That was a really nice podcast, and I’m glad we all got to meet Mary. And I think that that’s it for this week.
Episode 968: Your Connection Team
08 Jul 2026
00:13:16
Synopsis
Your BNI chapter was never meant to be your sales force. Guest expert Spencer Reynolds from BNI Tampa Bay explains that your chapter is your connection team. Every BNI member identifies opportunities for other members and gets into conversations where they make connections. BNI members transfer credibility to each other.
When you pass a referral, the prospect doesn’t have to be ready to buy. They only have to be ready to meet the member you’re referring them to, because you’ve told them that member can help solve their problem. All you have to say is “I know someone you need to meet. They do exactly what you’re talking about. Would you like to me to introduce you?”
Pro tip: ask both the prospect and your chapter member how they prefer to be contacted, because that speeds up the connection.
Priscilla: Hello everybody, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast. I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. And I’m joined on the phone today by Spencer Reynolds, who’s standing in today as a guest host for Dr. Misner, and he will be joining us from time to time. Hello, Spencer. Welcome to the podcast.
Spencer: Thank you, Priscilla. How are you today?
Priscilla: I’m great. And how about you?
Spencer: I’m fantastic. I’m so excited to be here with you. We’re going to talk about something that I think has evolved over time and has become more important now than ever before. That’s really about, you know, in the past we used to think of, well, I don’t know, I’ve been around about 20 years, so I think we had a lot of conversation in the past about sales and having a sales team and doing a sales manager minute. And things have evolved in BNI, as we’ve all gotten to know the world that we live in today, and I really think that we need to start thinking about it differently, and that is our connection team.
So, you know, BNI’s global referral philosophy has always been around relationships and credibility and introductions, and not really closing the sale for each other. So I think a lot of members secretly think that, you know, why isn’t my chapter sending me business, or why aren’t they selling for me, or why am I not getting referrals? The answer to that is often because they were never supposed to become your unpaid sales force. Instead, their focus should be opening doors. They transfer trust to people; they can identify opportunities for us, and then they get in conversations where they can connect us. They help us create that visibility that we really need, and they position you in rooms that you can’t be in, because you’re not even in the room. That mindset–it shifts everything, don’t you think?
Priscilla: Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Spencer: I mean, that the core concept of a sales team versus a connection team, if you really think about it, a sales team is talking about scripts. They handle objections and overcoming them, they close deals, they follow pipelines, they negotiate pricing. And I’ve been in the real estate world and been in a lot of those types of sales meetings where we focus on that.
The difference in this one is really when you have a connection team, you’re listening for opportunities, right? You’re getting that introduction of, like, well, if I hear this, now I can recognize the problem that people are having, and then I can make that introduction to them. It really does that transference of credibility, which I think is one of the most important parts of having our referral partners in BNI. Would you agree with that?
Priscilla: Yeah, absolutely.
Spencer: Well, that trust creates a bridge. It expands the visibility that we have with people, and it gets us… and I always say people are talking behind your back, but they’re talking in a good way, right? They’re talking where you can’t be, they’re behind your back, they’re doing things. And it’s much easier for members to understand and actually execute consistently when they think about the fact that I’m here to make a connection for you. I think it lowers the expectation that some of us have, because if we’re like, “Oh, I have to pass them this perfect referral and actually sell the deal for them and get them so they’re ready to buy,” that’s not what we’re here for. I mean, what is your experience inside of that, Priscilla?
Priscilla: Yeah, no, I agree with you completely. It’s a wonderful way to meet other people, and you know, you just, you want to help them because you’re in BNI, and that’s the main concept in BNI.
Spencer: Exactly. We’re here to gain, but we have to give, right? That’s the connection that we’re doing there. Authentic introductions will outperform sales pitches every time, right? Having a good conversation… you and I, Priscilla, are out to lunch, we’re talking about something, and something comes up in the conversation when I then say, “Oh, and you should meet my friend,” and I introduce you to that friend. It’s so… to me that is such a great opportunity to connect. It’s not about, oh, I’ve got to position you to have that person sell you. No, I want you to meet them, so that you can see if they’re the right person that you want to do business with – and if they’re the right person that they want to do business with you, that’s really what we’re doing, right? We’re connecting people, giving them opportunity, not closing the deal.
Priscilla: Yes, you’re so right.
Spencer: Yeah, so you know, and I really think that this can improve our chapter culture when we get it. When we have the whole group of us that are all thinking the same way together. I’ve gone into chapters where I’ve seen some older term, that means some long-term members, older members that have been around for a while, and they kind of have this thought sometimes where it’s like, “I want to do my sales manager minute. I want to get up and really tell people how they can sell me,” and I’m like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let’s bring it back, let’s really look at the opportunity of your chapter is not your sales team, but they are your connection team. And when you do that, it takes so much of the angst out of it for the members, especially new members. How do you think that works with our new members especially, Priscilla?
Priscilla: Mm hmm. Yeah, they don’t want to be pushy, and so if you, you know, present it as a connection that you’re going to help them make, it’s completely different.
Spencer: Yes, it strengthens your position as a member. It strengthens your position as a referral partner with that person, because now they’re saying, “You need to meet my friend.” Right? And I love this line by Jeffrey Gitomer, and in his book, The Sales Bible, he talks about the fact that all things being equal, people will do business with their friends. And he follows it right up by saying all things not being equal, people will still do business with their friends. And so we want to be their friends, right?
We’ve got to position ourselves to do the connection because we’re introducing our friends to some of our other friends. Sometimes they’re people we may not know and have a deep relationship with, but having the ability to say I have comfort – that’s why we have our referrals and testimonials in BNI. We want to hear what other people are talking about, we want to hear the way that they’ve done business with them, so that we have multiple ways to bring that ability to say, “Hey, this is somebody you need to meet, because they, they do exactly what you’re talking about. Would you like to be introduced to them?”
And you know, I think that connection as well is something that’s evolved over time. What is your favorite way right now, Priscilla, when somebody is going to connect you, and you ask for a referral in your BNI chapter? What is the way that you like to be connected? Is that a phone call, a text message, an email? What’s your favorite?
Priscilla: My favorite… you know, I don’t really have a favorite. Any of those ways works for me.
Spencer: Yeah, they all work, that’s great. So, here’s the thing – a lot of people, they have a main method that works for them. Other people, they may not. I’m one of those where I’m not a major email person. I actually have somebody who deals with my email most often and hands me the ones that I actually need to do, and so I have a specific inbox they bring them over to, and so I can do that. So email is not my best method, and phone calls I’m phenomenal on, but the reality is I’m kind of hard to catch at times, because I’m in-between meetings, I’m going to different groups, I’m doing different meetings all over the place, and doing trainings in the afternoons, so I’m not the easiest person to get a hold of. But a text message or a WhatsApp message, in particular, for me, now I know I can respond to. And it’s been interesting as I do trainings around, I ask that question for people that raise their hand, and I say, “What is your best connection method?” And it has changed dramatically over the last 15 years. It used to be so many people wanted emails, and I think we’ve gotten too emailed out.
Priscilla: I think the problem is I get hundreds of emails.
Spencer: Exactly.
Priscilla: And trying to sort through the ones that are really important, even though it seems like they’re trying to make that happen, but you know, in my email program, but it just doesn’t work that well. So, once you have so many, you’re in trouble.
Spencer: Volume is just, it keeps getting more and more it seems today, so it’s harder and harder to get their attention that way. And so, as I ask now, the thing I get hands raised about 90% of the time, which blows my mind, text messages, is the way. And if you listen to marketing podcasts, or you listen to or read articles out there on ways to get in touch with people in the marketing world, like I don’t know the number exactly, but it’s something in the high 90% range of people will respond or look at their texts very quickly compared to email. And that’s a really powerful thing to think through. So if you’re asking for the connection, make sure you’re also clearly communicating how to connect you. What is the right connection method for you? Because if you are a phone call person, or you are a text message, or if you still like email is your best way, you just need to really instruct your referral partners, so that they know the right way to connect you.
Because this connection team… you want it to happen as quickly as you possibly can. That’s why I tell people all the time, turn your notifications for the BNI Connect app on. It may not be all your apps, and I know a lot of people who turn notifications off for just about everything, because they don’t want to be bothered, but this is one where it’s a speed, right? When you get a referral, you want to respond, so if that’s not the method you do, then what is your method? And knowing that, and teaching all of us as your referral partners in your chapter, how can I connect with you the best way, so that I can get the response the best way, and I think a lot of it comes down to having a three-way text is such a simple way to really engage people.
Priscilla: Mm hmmm.
Spencer: And to me, that’s what we teach in our Member Success Program a lot now. “Do you have the right message that you can send to a member that then they can then send it to others when they ask for a referral connection?” Because I don’t know the right words to introduce you, Priscilla, but you know exactly the right thing to say, so that somebody will want to talk to you. So you give me those words and now I can give your words out as though they’re mine in a very easy way.
Priscilla: Right. That makes sense.
Spencer: Yeah.
Priscilla: The one thing I do sometimes do, which is I send out a text, but the text is alerting them that I just wrote them a longer email, and that seems to work.
Spencer: That’s really good. Because if you do get that, then you will go in and look at that. That’s the way to get some attention. That’s great.
Priscilla: Yeah.
Spencer: Well, I really think that, you know, changing our culture, changing our mindset around the idea of the people here are here to sell me, compared to the people here are here to give me introductions and to connect me with other people, can really make a big difference overall for all of our experiences in BNI and in our chapters.
Priscilla: Right. Well, that’s great. Is there anything else you’d like to add to that?
Spencer: No, I really do think having an opportunity to get your words, and with AI today, it’s so easy to get a succinct paragraph that you can send to every member of your chapter that they can look up, and then they can click on that, copy it, and forward it out to anybody that they want to send a message to, is probably one of the most usable tools you could ever do right now in today’s day and age.
Priscilla: Great idea. Well, do you think that’s it?
Spencer: I think that’s it. Thank you so much for your time.
Priscilla: Okay, great.
Episode 967: Richard Branson on Legacy (Classic)
01 Jul 2026
00:11:47
The best legacy we can leave is to make a difference in the lives of the people around us, and you don't have to be a billionaire to do that.
Episode 966: Living Your Succession Plan
24 Jun 2026
00:13:43
The true test of leadership is how sustainable your organization becomes. Significance is about helping people thrive beyond you.
Episode 965: Delay Success or Accelerate Failure
17 Jun 2026
00:11:24
Networking is not a get-rich-quick strategy. It takes time, but staying committed, consistent, and focused yields invaluable rewards.
Episode 964: Open Networking, the Most Undervalued Time
10 Jun 2026
00:13:41
Spencer Reynolds explains his Seek, Serve, Set up approach to making the most out of the Open Networking portion of a BNI meeting.
Episode 963: The Power of “Feel, Felt, Found”
03 Jun 2026
00:12:37
Whether you're managing a BNI chapter or negotiating with a client, "Feel, Felt, Found" helps you win by aligning.
Episode 962: Time and Money (Classic)
27 May 2026
00:13:12
Shirley Towne returns to the podcast to explain why some visitors hesitate to join BNI and how to address their concerns.
Episode 961: Hard Work vs. Luck
20 May 2026
00:12:52
Without effort, luck is useless. Hard work doesn't guarantee success, but without it, success is almost guaranteed not to happen.
Episode 960: Why Most Leaders Fail
13 May 2026
00:12:17
As leaders, we have two jobs: to set the vision and to remove obstacles. Use "The 3D Fix:" Discernment, Discipline, and Diligence.
Episode 959: Make Yourself Referrable
06 May 2026
00:12:59
You can't refer someone you can't remember. Laura Reid shares a simple framework to make yourself referrable with one memorable story.
Episode 958: How You Stand Changes Who You Meet (Classic)
29 Apr 2026
00:12:48
If you have an open stance, you're going to meet a lot of people that you may not have had an opportunity to meet in the past.
Episode 957: Two Beers and a Puppy
22 Apr 2026
00:12:21
Bradley Page shares Ross McCammon's "Two Beers and a Puppy" test and how it fits in with the concepts in Who's In Your Room?
Episode 956: You Can’t Think Your Way into Transformation
15 Apr 2026
00:11:07
Have you ever known you should do something and not done it? You can't think your way into transformation: you have to live it.
Episode 955: Vision Without Execution Is Wishful Thinking
08 Apr 2026
00:12:57
Execution turns vision into lasting results. You need a clear vision, defined systems of execution, and a culture of accountability.
Episode 954: Protect Your Network
01 Apr 2026
00:12:29
A year after leaving BNI, Kameron Thorne lost 48% of his business. Today he shares what he learned about protecting your network.
Episode 953: Growth in Difficult Times (Classic)
25 Mar 2026
00:13:32
Belief, passion, and leadership are the keys to business growth in difficult times. Why accept mediocrity when excellence is an option?
Episode 952: Positive Attitude Is a Competitive Advantage
18 Mar 2026
00:13:13
Positive attitude is one of the top two characteristics of great networkers. Realism with hope attached builds trust faster than credentials.
Episode 951: The Curse of Complexity
11 Mar 2026
00:14:37
This is the curse of complexity: what starts as improvement turns into friction, and what starts as innovation turns into inertia.
Episode 950: The Growth Mindset
04 Mar 2026
00:13:34
John Rivers explains how to apply a growth mindset to your BNI chapter by dedicating 15 minutes a day to inviting visitors and following up.
Episode 949: Coaching a Chapter to Greatness (Classic)
25 Feb 2026
00:14:45
How can your chapter benefit from coaching? Mark Breves shares actions the BNI Founder Chapter took to grow from 20 to 35 members.
Episode 948: How to Be a Friend
18 Feb 2026
00:13:06
Reliability builds trust faster than charisma ever will. Follow through consistently. Friendship in networking is all about being safe.
Episode 947: Guinness Networking World Record
11 Feb 2026
00:12:34
BNI now holds the Guinness World Record for the most people attending a speed networking event: 1108 BNI members, 20,000 rounds, 90 minutes.
Episode 946: Small Talk
04 Feb 2026
00:13:25
Small talk doesn't have to be shallow. It is a bridge to meaningful conversation, and it can show warmth, approachability and confidence.
Episode 945: Turning Personal Connections into Relationships
28 Jan 2026
00:12:10
If you're stuck at the Visibility stage of the VCP process, here are some strategies to make the shift to Credibility and Profitability.
Episode 944: Don’t Let Your Group Deflate While You Wait (Classic)
21 Jan 2026
00:17:12
Don't let your group deflate while you wait to go back to meeting in person. Stop making excuses and start getting results.
Episode 943: What to Say to Boring People
14 Jan 2026
00:12:57
It's not the person you're talking to who's boring. You can't have an interesting conversation with anyone without being interested.
Episode 942: Engaging Long-Time Members
07 Jan 2026
00:13:56
Tim Roberts and Ivan Misner explain why mentoring new BNI members is the best way for long-time members to stay engaged.
Episode 941: My Personal Story
17 Dec 2025
00:13:04
All BNI members speak the language of Givers Gain®. Attending BNI's national and global events opens up a world of referrals.
Episode 940: Holiday Party Networking
10 Dec 2025
00:11:51
Everybody goes to parties during the holiday season. To make the most of holiday party networking, here are a few things to keep in mind.
Episode 939: When Is Two Not Better Than One? (Classic)
03 Dec 2025
00:14:28
The divided loyalties of members who belong to more than one BNI group create serious trust issues in both chapters.
Episode 938: Legal Spheres in BNI
26 Nov 2025
00:14:25
Seventeen attorneys in one BNI Chapter? Barry Stein joins the podcast to explain how narrow specialization brings more business to everyone.
Episode 937: Try Smart Talk, Not Small Talk
19 Nov 2025
00:13:18
Effective business networking is about smart talk, not small talk. The right message in the right setting creates instant credibility.
Episode 936: Why New Members Struggle
12 Nov 2025
00:13:48
When new members get referrals right away, they become more committed to the chapter, believe in the process, and invest more in others.
Episode 935: Choose the Lens You Want to See the World Through (Classic Podcast)
05 Nov 2025
00:11:50
You can choose to see the world through a lens that lets you deal most effectively with the hand you've been dealt.
Episode 934: Comparing Our Inside to Other People’s Outside
29 Oct 2025
00:10:38
Comparison is the thief of joy, so follow Ivan Misner's tips for surviving in the age of social media highlight reels.
Episode 933: Effort Drives Outcomes
22 Oct 2025
00:09:20
The harder you work, the luckier you get. Luck opens doors, but hard work walks you through them. You won't succeed without it.
Episode 932: “Hey, could you introduce me to So-and-So?”
15 Oct 2025
00:10:57
Making a bad introduction reduces your future opportunities. Be honest, be respectful, and preserve relationships for the future.
Episode 931: Navigating Through Fear
08 Oct 2025
00:12:59
Listen to fear---but don't let it drive. Listening to the message fear is giving us helps us find action steps to alleviate it.
Episode 930: Why Even Have Substitutes?
01 Oct 2025
00:10:04
The substitute program is not about your convenience. It's about bringing value to your BNI meeting when you're not there.
Episode 929: Education Coordinators (Classic)
24 Sep 2025
00:11:38
Learn how one education coordinator transformed his chapter's Education Moments into lively seminars with active member participation.
Episode 928: Using LinkedIn to Grow Your Chapter
17 Sep 2025
00:12:59
Tom Etherington explains how to work with the other members of your chapter to develop a strategic visitor invite campaign using LinkedIn.