The Men's Self-Help Podcast offers practical guidance for men navigating anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, stress, relationships, emotional health, and personal growth.
With nearly 1.7 million downloads, the show brings practical, accessible approaches to mental health and personal growth to listeners around the world.
Hosted by Dr. John Moore, a licensed psychotherapist and men's mental health specialist, each episode explores real-life challenges in a straightforward, relatable, and easy-to-understand way. Using solution-focused strategies and insights from psychology, the podcast helps men—and the people who care about them—better understand their emotions, change unhelpful patterns, build confidence, and move forward with greater purpose.
Whether you are struggling with overthinking, people-pleasing, boundaries, motivation, body image, loneliness, or major life changes, you will find practical ideas that can help you create meaningful change.
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Données mises à jour le 16/09/2026
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How to Stop People Pleasing & Being the "Nice Guy"
Épisode 50
mardi 15 septembre 2026 • Durée 25:33
People Pleasing: Why Is Saying No So Difficult for So Many Men?
In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores the hidden cost of chronic people-pleasing and why it often goes unnoticed in men.
What looks like being dependable, hardworking, loyal, or simply being a good guy may actually be a learned strategy for avoiding guilt, conflict, disappointment, or the fear of letting someone down.
You'll discover six practical steps for recognizing the pattern, creating a pause before automatically agreeing, setting clearer boundaries, and tolerating the discomfort that can follow when you begin using the word no.
Dr. John also responds to a listener named Chris, who worries that declining invitations from his friends could eventually cause him to lose his place in the group.
• How people-pleasing can show up differently in men
• The connection between approval, identity, and automatic agreement
• How early experiences can shape the need to keep others happy
• Why cognitive rehearsal can make saying no easier
• How to pause before committing to something
• How to say no without overexplaining or apologizing
• Why another person's disappointment does not automatically mean you did something wrong
• How distress tolerance can help you maintain a healthy boundary
• Why asking "What do I want?" can become an important ongoing practice
Resources Mentioned
Some of the links below are affiliate links. If you make a qualifying purchase through one of these links, Guy Counseling may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping support the independent production of this podcast.
The Assertiveness Workbook by Randy J. Paterson, PhD
Dr. John discusses cognitive rehearsal and the value of practicing assertive responses before you need them in real life. The Assertiveness Workbook offers practical exercises for developing clearer communication, setting boundaries, and becoming more comfortable with assertiveness.
Dr. John recommends this classic assertiveness book while responding to listener Chris, who struggles with saying no without feeling guilty or worrying about disappointing others. When I Say No, I Feel Guilty offers practical strategies for communicating more assertively, setting limits, and handling the guilt or pressure that can come when you stop automatically saying yes.
Listener messages featured on the podcast are shared with permission. Names and identifying details may be changed to protect privacy, and messages may be edited for length and clarity. A synthesized voice may also be used when reading an email.
Support the Show
If you've found value in this podcast and would like to help support its independent production, you can do so through Buy Me a Coffee.
Your support helps cover production costs, hosting, editing, and future episodes of The Men's Self-Help Podcast.
The Men's Self-Help Podcast is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not therapy and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or professional mental health treatment. If you are struggling, please contact a qualified professional where you live.
Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and look at it from a more balanced perspective? Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet you can download and use on your own. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.
No signup. No email address. No strings attached. Just grab it and use it if it's helpful.
Produced by Dr. John Moore with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording, voice models, and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.
Penis Size Anxiety: "My Girlfriend Said I'm Too Small" 🔥
mardi 8 septembre 2026 • Durée 17:29
What happens when someone you love says the one thing about your body you were already afraid might be true?
In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John is joined by Jack to talk about an email from a 23-year-old listener whose girlfriend told him during a heated moment that she had wanted to break up with him because his penis was too small. She had been drinking and later apologized, but the relationship ultimately ended. We're talking about penis size anxiety, worries about not being "big" enough.
The conversation opens into a much larger issue that many men quietly struggle with: penis-size anxiety and male body image.
Dr. John and Jack talk about how a painful comment can attach itself to an existing insecurity, why body anxiety isn't just a women's issue, and how shame can eventually lead some men to avoid dating, sex, nudity, and intimacy altogether. Dr. John also shares the story of a former client whose anxiety about his penis became so powerful that he would apologize to partners before having sex.
The episode explores an important question: How do you keep someone else's judgment about your body from becoming your own?
In This Episode
Penis-size anxiety and male body image
What can happen when a partner targets an existing insecurity
Why an apology doesn't necessarily make you forget what was said
How negative self-talk can reinforce body shame
The connection between shame, avoidance, and intimacy
Why men may struggle silently with body-image concerns
How one painful experience can begin affecting future relationships
Recommended Reading
Dr. John recommends the book: The Penis Book: A Doctor's Complete Guide to the Penis--From Size to Function and Everything in Between. .
Mentioned in This Episode Man Moment Thought Court Worksheet - Free Listener Resource Contact The Show Follow On Social Media Support the Show ☕ Disclaimer Affiliate & Sponsor Disclosure Production Notes
10 Habits of Men Who Have Their Shit Together
Épisode 49
mardi 1 septembre 2026 • Durée 23:06
How Do You Actually Get Your Life Together as a Man?
What does it really mean to have your life together?
In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores 10 habits of men who have their sh*t together and what getting your life together actually looks like in the real world.
Drawing on more than two decades of clinical experience in men's work, Dr. John breaks down practical habits for men focused on self-improvement, personal growth, stronger relationships, better sleep, and creating a life that feels more grounded.
This isn't the Instagram version of having your life together. It's about defining success on your own terms, keeping promises to yourself, protecting your sleep, maintaining friendships, taking responsibility for your choices, and knowing when to ask for help.
Whether you're already practicing some of these habits or feel like you're starting from scratch, this episode offers a practical roadmap you can begin using this week.
In This Episode
What it really means to have your life together
Why defining success on your own terms matters
The importance of keeping promises to yourself
Why protecting your sleep is part of getting your life together
How grounded men build habits that hold up under pressure
Why maintaining friendships and important relationships matters
The role of personal responsibility in self-improvement
Why asking for help can be a sign of strength
How small, consistent choices can shape the direction of your life
Practical ways to start getting your life together this week
Sponsor
The Men's Self-Help Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Some of the links below are affiliate links. If you make a qualifying purchase through one of these links, Guy Counseling may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping support the independent production of this podcast.
(1997) — Trailer by Katherine Coleman The Harvard Study of Adult Development Have a Question for the Podcast? Support the Show Follow on Social Media Free Thought Court Worksheet Disclaimer Production Notes
Is Your Sex Drive Different Than Your Partner's?
mardi 25 août 2026 • Durée 11:15
What happens when you want sex more often than your partner—or when your partner seems to want it more than you do?
In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John is joined by Guy Counseling contributing writer Jack for a candid conversation about mismatched sex drives in relationships.
They explore why differences in sexual desire are so common and why they don't necessarily mean there's something wrong with your relationship. The conversation also gets into stress and libido, feeling rejected when your partner says no, and an important distinction that often gets overlooked: wanting sex and being comfortable initiating sex aren't necessarily the same thing.
John and Jack also tackle a question plenty of couples probably wonder about but may not talk about openly: Can masturbation help when partners have different sex drives, and where does adult video fit into the picture?
Other topics include scheduling intimacy, sexual "accelerators" and "brakes," nonsexual touch, emotional safety, and approaching sex as an invitation rather than a demand.
📚 Book Recommendation
The Sex-Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner-Davis
Dr. John recommends this book for its real-world look at couples struggling with significant differences in sexual desire and the ways those differences can affect intimacy and relationships.
As an Amazon Associate, we may earn from qualifying purchases.
🔗 Resources & Further Reading
How to Handle Mismatched Libidos in a Relationship — AskMen The article that helped spark today's conversation, exploring desire discrepancies and ways couples can navigate them.
Stop Musterbating Everywhere! How to Stop "Shoulding" on Yourself
Épisode 48
mardi 18 août 2026 • Durée 22:40
How to Stop "Shoulding" on Yourself
Do you constantly tell yourself you should be doing better, that you must have everything figured out, or that life ought to be different?
In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores the psychology of musterbation — the rigid musts, shoulds, and oughts that can put enormous pressure on us and make it harder to deal with everyday life.
The concept comes from psychologist Albert Ellis and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). You'll discover how this kind of rigid self-talk can quietly fuel anxiety, guilt, anger, shame, perfectionism, and emotional exhaustion.
Dr. John walks through a practical three-step approach for challenging these destructive internal rules and replacing them with more flexible ways of thinking.
You'll also hear from Matt, a listener who isn't sure he's ready to marry the woman he's been dating. Dr. John discusses the difference between outside pressure and genuine readiness, why unresolved conflict deserves attention, and how premarital counseling can help couples approach one of life's biggest decisions with greater clarity.
Whether you're struggling with perfectionism, relationships, negative self-talk, or impossible expectations, this episode offers practical psychological tools you can begin using today.
In This Episode
What psychologist Albert Ellis meant by "musterbation"
How musts, shoulds, and oughts can create unnecessary emotional pressure
The basics of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)
How rigid thinking can contribute to anxiety, guilt, anger, and shame
Why perfectionism often involves unrealistic internal rules
How to identify the musts and shoulds hiding in your self-talk
A practical three-step approach for challenging rigid beliefs
How to replace demands with more flexible thinking
Sponsor Resources Mentioned ABC Model for REBT Worksheet — Therapist Aid Example Premarital Counseling Program by H. Norman Wright and Wes Roberts Have a Question for the Podcast? Support the Show Disclaimer Production Notes
How to Quiet Your Anxious Brain With Something in the Nothing
Épisode 47
mardi 4 août 2026 • Durée 14:05
Have you ever finally gotten a chance to relax—only to discover that you can't handle the quiet?
In Episode 47 of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores why stillness can feel strangely uncomfortable in a world filled with notifications, headlines, endless scrolling, and constant demands for our attention.
Drawing from a personal experience in Puerto Rico, Dr. John explains how repeated stimulation can leave the nervous system stuck on alert. Even when nothing is wrong, the brain may interpret quiet as unfamiliar—and therefore suspicious.
You'll learn why the amygdala acts like a smoke alarm that sometimes struggles to distinguish a real emergency from everyday "burnt toast." You'll also hear about the brain's default mode network and the important work that may occur when you stop actively doing and allow your mind to settle.
The episode also explores what contemplative traditions have understood for centuries: stillness is not empty. It can create room for memories to organize, emotions to surface, ideas to connect, and clarity to emerge.
Dr. John concludes with one simple challenge: place your phone in another room and spend five minutes sitting in the nothing. When the restlessness appears, don't treat it as failure. Treat it as the repetition that helps teach your nervous system that quiet can be safe.
Today's sponsor
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
BetterHelp offers online access to licensed therapists with experience in areas such as anxiety, depression, relationships, career concerns, and other challenges.
This is an affiliate link. The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive compensation when listeners use it.
How to Build a Morning Routine That Actually Works
Épisode 44
mardi 21 juillet 2026 • Durée 25:22
Ever notice how some mornings seem to set the tone for your entire day?
In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores what makes a healthy morning routine actually work—and why you don't need an elaborate, social media-worthy ritual to start your day on the right foot.
You'll learn why your morning routine should focus on four essential goals: waking up your body, settling your nervous system, activating your mind, and directing your attention. Along the way, John shares practical ideas you can begin using immediately, whether you have an hour, thirty minutes, or just fifteen.
You'll also hear why perfection isn't the goal, how to create a routine you'll actually stick with, and what to do when life inevitably throws your schedule off track.
If you've been looking for a simple, realistic approach to building better mornings, this episode offers practical strategies grounded in psychology—not hype.
In this episode you'll learn:
Why most morning routines fail
The four jobs every healthy morning routine should accomplish
How to calm your nervous system before the day begins
The difference between productive habits and performative routines
How to create a morning routine you can actually maintain
If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, and sharing it with someone who could use a better start to their day.
Looking for Mental Health Counseling? Check out Better Help
The BetterHelp link above is an affiliate link. If you sign up through it, Guy Counseling may receive a commission at no additional cost to you. Audio production assistance provided by Joel Oliver. Episode artwork generated with Adobe Firefly. Transition sounds provided royalty-free by Pixabay. This episode blends live-recorded audio with Dr. John Moore's own voice model.
I'm Back: The Men's Self-Help Podcast Returns
jeudi 16 juillet 2026 • Durée 02:27
After a long break, The Men's Self-Help Podcast is coming back.
In this brief return message, Dr. John shares why he stepped away, why he decided to return, and what listeners can expect going forward.
New episodes will focus on men's mental health, relationships, emotional wellness, and practical tools you can actually use.
The first full episode returns next week with a conversation about what to do when you feel yourself spiraling.
Encore: Is It Time To Take a Break from Social Media?
mercredi 2 février 2022 • Durée 33:31
This encore presentation explores the five signs you may need to take a break from social media. Visit this link for show notes on the Guy Counseling blog.
How to Stop Letting People Get Under Your Skin
Épisode 42
mercredi 12 janvier 2022 • Durée 24:08
Do you struggle with people getting under your skin? Are you easily triggered by certain comments or topics? Hoping to create positive change? In this episode sponsored by Better Help, Dr. John explores how to stop letting people get under your skin. You'll hear about the story of Austin, a young man who lost his temper on a train. Discover approaches to counseling including EMDR and Internal Family Systems (parts therapy) as part of healing past wounds.
Do you have an internal protector, deep inside, trying to keep you from the source of your hurts? If trauma and pain are part of your past, you'll want to listen to this episode.
Important Links
Use this link to get a special offer for listeners of the podcast with Better Help.
Dr. John and Jack also discuss a related Couples Counseling Chicago article about another man's experience after his girlfriend made a painful comment about his penis size during intimacy.
Somebody else's words are not your inheritance. What they said in that moment — that's their lens, their history, their stuff. It doesn't get to live in your body rent-free. You get to decide what you carry forward and what you set back down. So set it down. Take that with you.
Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and look at it from a more balanced perspective? Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet you can download and use on your own. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.
No signup. No email address. No strings attached. Just grab it and use it if it's helpful.
If you would like to contact the show with a question or submit a listener email, you can visit the pod's website Guy Counseling. Use this link for the contact form.
Keep in mind we get a lot of email and not all questions will be featured on the pod. When you write, please let us know if we have your permission to feature your question. Identifying information may be changed to protect privacy.
The Men's Self-Help Podcast is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not therapy and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or professional mental health treatment. If you are struggling, please contact a qualified professional where you live.
This episode may include paid sponsorships or affiliate links. If you make a purchase, sign up for a service, or take another qualifying action through one of these links, The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive compensation at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Sponsors and recommended resources may vary by episode.
Written and produced by Dr. John Moore, with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording, voice models, and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.
Contact
Referenced in the discussion of Habit 2, keeping promises to yourself. Directed by Robert Zemeckis and starring Jodie Foster.
Referenced in the discussion of Habit 7, maintaining relationships. This long-running study has followed participants across decades and has highlighted the importance of strong relationships for long-term health and well-being.
Learn more about the Harvard Study of Adult Development
Have a question you'd like Dr. John to answer on a future episode? Send it through the Guy Counseling contact form:
Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and look at it from a more balanced perspective? Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet you can download and use on your own. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.
No signup. No email address. No strings attached. Just grab it and use it if it's helpful.
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed professional for individualized support.
Produced by Dr. John Moore with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording, voice models, and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.
How Stress Can Lead to Low Libido — Verywell Mind More about the relationship between chronic stress and reduced sexual desire.
Why Your Girlfriend Never Initiates Sex — Guy Counseling Dr. John explores why rarely initiating sex doesn't necessarily mean someone lacks sexual desire or attraction.
If you would like to contact the show with a question or submit a listener email, you can visit the pod's website Guy Counseling. Use this link for the contact form.
Keep in mind we get a lot of email and not all questions will be featured on the pod. When you write, please let us know if we have your permission to feature your question. Identifying information may be changed to protect privacy.
Affiliate & Sponsor Disclosure
This episode may include paid sponsorships or affiliate links. If you make a purchase, sign up for a service, or take another qualifying action through one of these links, The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive compensation at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Sponsors and recommended resources may vary by episode.
What does it actually look like when a man has his life in order?
In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore draws on more than two decades of clinical experience in men's work to break down ten habits shared by men who are genuinely grounded — not the Instagram version, but the real thing.
From defining success on your own terms to protecting your sleep, maintaining friendships, and knowing when to ask for help, these are the habits that hold up under pressure. Dr. John draws on his clinical experience as a licensed therapist in Chicago to bring each one to life with honesty, humor, and a few unexpected detours along the way.
Whether you're already doing a few of these or starting from scratch, this episode offers a practical roadmap you can begin using this week.
Sponsor
The Men's Self-Help Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Some of the links below are affiliate links. If you make a qualifying purchase through one of these links, Guy Counseling may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping support the independent production of this podcast.
Contact (1997) — Trailer
Referenced in the discussion of Habit 2, keeping promises to yourself. Directed by Robert Zemeckis and starring Jodie Foster.
Watch the trailer on YouTube
The Insomnia Breakthrough by Katherine Coleman
Recommended in the discussion of Habit 4, protecting your sleep. Dr. John has recommended this book to clients over the years with strong results.
Referenced in the discussion of Habit 7, maintaining relationships. This long-running study has followed participants across decades and has highlighted the importance of strong relationships for long-term health and well-being.
Learn more about the Harvard Study of Adult Development
Thought Court Worksheet
Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and look at it from a more balanced perspective? Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet you can download and use on your own. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.
No signup. No email address. No strings attached. Just grab it and use it if it's helpful.
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed professional for individualized support.
Production Notes
Written and produced by Dr. John Moore, with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording, voice models, and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.
The difference between relationship pressure and genuine readiness for marriage
How premarital counseling can help couples make more informed decisions
Today's episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Head to https://betterhelp.com/guycounseling to get 10% off your first month with our sponsor, BetterHelp. Therapy can be a meaningful space to reflect, grow, and create positive change in your life.
Some of the links below are affiliate links. If you make a qualifying purchase through one of these links, Guy Counseling may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping support the independent production of this podcast.
Use this worksheet to explore the ABC model commonly associated with REBT and examine the connection between beliefs and emotional or behavioral consequences.
Learn what couples typically discuss during a structured premarital counseling program, including communication, conflict resolution, finances, intimacy, family expectations, and future planning.
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed professional for individualized support.
Written and produced by Dr. John Moore, with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording, voice models, and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.
As an Amazon Associate, Guy Counseling may earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.
Related Reading
When nothing clearly dangerous is happening, anxiety can still make uncertainty feel like a threat. Calm Anxiety explains why anxiety can make safe situations feel dangerous and how avoidance, reassurance-seeking, and threat prediction can reinforce that response. From Calm Anxiety Clinic.
The Men's Self-Help Podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for psychotherapy, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Dr. John Moore is not acting as your personal therapist through this podcast. Please speak with a licensed healthcare professional if you are experiencing concerns about your mental or physical health.
Production note:
Audio production assistance provided by Joel Oliver. Episode artwork generated with Adobe Firefly. Transition sounds provided royalty-free by Pixabay. This episode blends live-recorded audio with Dr. John Moore's own authorized voice model.
