And: We plan a highly Catholic (looking) wedding.

And: A very "special" McDonald's employee goes too far with Rancho.

We finished it! You can't say we didn't. 

RIP...again

the Moment has arrived

[slams button] "WOKE MOMENT!"

Grab an apple and a ballpoint pen and enjoy!

You're welcome.

Rancho + I are taking the holidays off this year! But we didn't want to leave you hanging. Here's an eight-hour super-sode containing:

EVERY INTERVIEW.

EVERY EVICTION NOTICE.

EVERY GARFFUCINNO.

FROM SANDBAGS TO CELIBACY, WE PRESENT TO YOU...

THE ENTIRE GARFIELD EATS SAGA.

AND acid splashed on her face!  

Also Big Ed sends a message to TLP! And it's NOT a Cameo!

yup.

WE DO THE MASH.

They found a way to make it even more traumatizing.

ONE WILL RISE. ONE WILL FALL.

This dog is totally insane, you would love her

Can YOU win their approval?!

we plan an anime wedding, rancho reads her my immortal fan-fanfic + jump hump & soak talk!

We listen to YOUR voicemails and answer YOUR questions!

New show! First one's free. Hear more episodes over at patreon.com/asterios.

Sirancha attempts to "overdose on weed" in the California desert. Plus, an all new game: "Mexican Food or Fakexican Food?"

Tar-eboni and Volsermort have their final showdown.

Eboni and Young Voldemort go to a Good Charlotte concert.

a FOURTH MCR concert?!

Can YOU guess how long we made it before turning it off?

Sirancha does dabs with her dad. Imagine doing dabs with your dad.

Oh god

What happens when you mix Harry Potter, goths and awkward sex into one teenage fanfic? You get the 2006 classic "My Immortal" starring Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Enjoy, fello' goffs!

In this special episode, we play the all-new RPG, "Dr. Fauci's American Nightmare." Can the party escape roving vaxxer-gangs and make it to the fabled land of "Marr-Ah Lagg-Go?"

Download the FREE one-page RPG by clicking here.

Follow TLP: Spotify | Youtube | Apple Podcasts | Google | Soundcloud

TLP Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/asterios

Shop TLP: http://www.spiteincorporated.com

It's teen mom vs. tween mom as reality TV stars sue each other over a failed podcast. And: the Council of Autism gets membership cards!

Follow TLP: Spotify | Youtube | Apple Podcasts | Google | Soundcloud

TLP Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/asterios

Shop TLP: http://www.spiteincorporated.com

Asterios & Sirancha are both visiting their parents! Sirancha's dad thinks the democrats will soon ban apple pie & Asterios' dad finds fifteen ways to call Derek Chauvin's lawyer fat. Enjoy!

Follow TLP: Spotify | Youtube | Apple Podcasts | Google | Soundcloud

TLP Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/asterios

Shop TLP: http://www.spiteincorporated.com

Yaoi paddles! Bean hoarding! Stomach waxing! AND: we play the new hit game, "Bang or Boi-oi-oi-oi-ng?"

Frenemies explodes! Chrissy Tiegen grovels! And our newest Patre-o's find out what they'll smell like when they die.

50% terrifying, 50% hilarious, 100% unhappy she made me watch this.

We debate which of us will die first, ASMR the BTS meal + react to Big Ed's shocking yet totally expected phone call! 

A QUARTER MILLION SERVED! Celebrate our 254,300th download as we play "Funko or Fakeo", discuss Asterios becoming "Nutritionpilled" & breakdown the finale of 90 Day Fiance: The Single Life.

Sirancha cries in her ethics class, Asterios get VPN-pilled + we tell you how to join the COUNCIL OF AUTISM!

We got another banger! We read Armie Hammer's darkest thoughts, play America's hottest new game & deliver a double dose of One Piece Minute!

Crypto Chatter! Sirancha pitches "Manties"! And the listeners take the Autism test.

It's our longest episode ever! One Piece Minute returns, we take an autism test live on air, Demi Lovato "apologizes" to a froyo place, and we interview the target market of Barbie movies: an eight year old girl! YOU CAN NOT MISS THIS ONE!!!

Sirancha tries for tradhood! Fat Families delivers huge! And our all-new segment: "Helping You Grow-kkinos with Asterios Kokkinos!"

Podcasting's greatest game show premieres! "Influencer Apology of the Week" returns! And "The Lard Police" are in town!

Listen first, then vote: https://strawpoll.com/8wa8z8okw 

Dumbspringa has arrived. Guess how many times we ordered Grubhub in the comments! Unless you're reading this in a podcast player or something, in which case, just text us: (347) 705 7617

We're all praying this is her last birthday

Edited by ZWICK!

What are they afraid of? What are they hiding? Why won't any Canadian grocery store stock Scooby Eats?

How much would you pay to keep your porn folder a secret? Who's the most offensive wrestler of all time? And how many 90 Day spinoffs can fit into a streaming service?