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Episode Title: Simply Katie — Unfolding, Unapologetic & Unfinished

Series Theme: A Paradox to Positive, Peaceful Living

Guest: Katie (aka Katie B, Katie W, Katie U)

Sobriety Date: September 23, 2005

 Episode Summary

This week, we sit with a woman whose story doesn’t just echo through the rooms—it roars through the silence most people are too afraid to face. Katie has lived many lives under many names, but today, she’s stripped it all down. She’s simply Katie.

Nearly 20 years sober, Katie’s journey is one of chaos, clarity, and courage. From childhood trauma and addiction by age 15 to a suicide attempt at 20, her path to recovery began with a single act of surrender. She found refuge in Oxford House and rebuilt her life—one breath, one breakdown, one truth at a time.

Katie’s recovery is layered and lived. She’s a sponsor, treasurer, and servant leader in the rooms. She’s helped the very friend who gave her her first drink find sobriety years later. Her story is full-circle. Full of grit. Full of grace.

She’s known redemption: a career in finance, homeownership, and financial freedom. And reckoning—spending a night in jail sober after 19 years, facing demons she thought were buried. Her life is proof that recovery isn’t a finish line—it’s a daily choice.

Katie finds peace in meditation, nature, and the power of pen and paper. The Big Book isn’t just something she reads—it’s something she breathes. She’s never cured. Always becoming.

Her family is the tribe she’s found in recovery. Her soul rests best by the ocean or a mountain river. She’s danced, cried, created, and sat in the stillness of early morning coffee with nothing but gratitude and grit.

This episode isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. It’s about what happens when you lose control of the life you thought you wanted… and find the one you were born to live.

Today’s guest is someone who hasn’t just lived through life’s seasons—he’s been shaped, shattered, and spiritually reassembled by them.

From Catholic boyhood and altar steps to the chaos of addiction and unspoken wounds… From the reckless rebellion of youth to decades lost in boardrooms, barrooms, and blurred boundaries... From collapsing under the weight of ego to rising with humility as compass.

This isn’t just a story—it’s a resurrection.

Ted Bower’s life is a layered testimony: innocence undone, trauma absorbed, rebellion ignited, and clarity earned. He’s walked through silence, storms, and surrender. And he’s come out the other side not perfect—but honest. Not untouched—but transformed.

What looks like rock bottom? For him, it was the ground floor of transformation. Where Step One wasn't just recovery language—it was a spiritual reckoning.

Through God-moments and brutal honesty, through Steps and service, Ted discovered that true healing doesn’t come in the absence of pain—it’s born right in the middle of it. His path reveals something simple but profound: the disease doesn’t need liquor, and the soul doesn’t need applause. It needs truth. Stillness. And a willingness to be undone.

Now, at 50+, Ted isn’t finished—he’s barely scratching the surface. Still dissolving. Still listening. Still becoming.

So if you’ve ever found yourself caught between projection and purpose, performance and peace… this one’s for you.

This is not just a conversation. It’s a confession. A reckoning. A spiritual initiation into the seasons that shape us… and the choices that save us.

Let’s dive in.

Submergence is not our end—it's how we begin again.

On The Lose Control Podcast, we explore what happens when we stop clutching for control... and start trusting the pull. Because life doesn’t just ask us to let go—it pulls us under. Into grief. Into love. Into silence. Into seasons that don’t make sense on paper but are perfectly designed to shape our becoming.

Submergence is the paradox: we sink in order to rise. We dissolve in order to become whole.

The invitation isn’t to drown. It’s to surrender. To be undone. Unnamed. Unraveled. Because underneath the surface is where transformation gets real. It’s dark there. Pressurized. Sacred. But that’s the birthplace of peace—not the manufactured kind, but the raw, rooted kind. The kind that breathes under weight.

Lose control—not as defeat, but as initiation. Because what if peace isn’t found in holding it all together… But in letting yourself fall apart on purpose?

On this show, we don’t glorify drowning. We honor the dive. We talk about the courage it takes to fall beneath the ego. To be still. To be stripped. And to rise—not perfect, but honest. Not untouched, but transformed.

If you’re feeling like you’re sinking, good. Maybe that’s exactly where your freedom begins. Not above. But beneath. Where control is surrendered And the real you gets born.

Resentment is a slow poison—one that corrodes the spirit, erodes peace, and traps you in a cycle of stagnation. It festers, feeding off unspoken wounds and unfinished battles, making you more bitter, more disconnected, more imprisoned in your own mind. And the truth is, no one else suffers as much as you do when resentment takes hold. It rots from the inside out. The antidote? Honest, fearless communication—with yourself first. Because if you can’t be real with yourself, every other relationship suffers. You can’t truly function at your highest level, process emotions with clarity, or connect deeply with others. Growth begins when you stop running from your own thoughts and instead build a working relationship with them—when you sit with your feelings, acknowledge them without judgment, and decide to move forward with clarity. Find a tribe that lives in a way that resonates with you. Watch how they move, how they carry themselves, how they navigate adversity. Align yourself with people who don’t just talk about change—but live it. And when you find that, lean into it. Adapt, evolve, follow in their footsteps until you carve your own way. Believe in something greater than yourself—a Higher Calm, a bigger purpose, a guiding force that keeps you steady when life gets chaotic. Trust that even when things feel uncertain, there’s a plan unfolding. You don’t have to have it all figured out today. Give yourself grace. Allow room for mistakes, for missteps, for imperfection. Because here’s the reality—there are no do-overs. We get one shot at this life. And the only way to truly live it is to accept that we are all figuring it out as we go. So drop the weight of resentment. Be brutally honest with yourself. Move toward people who elevate you. Trust in something bigger. And give yourself the grace to grow.

Rosalynn Bourgeois, known as Roz, was born and raised just outside of Washington, DC, in PG County, MD. Growing up as a minority in a tumultuous household, she constantly felt the pressure to fit in and seek attention, especially with her parents embroiled in constant conflict. Roz identifies as a recovering Catholic, having endured religious beliefs that were aggressively forced upon her in a manner she describes as spiritually abusive. The weight of this upbringing required years of therapy to unravel and heal from, a journey she embarked on after achieving sobriety.  Despite the chaos, Roz excelled in school and was a dedicated soccer player. She graduated with an Economics degree but fell into a toxic relationship and eventually cracked. A psychotic relapse spiraled out of control, driving Roz to move to Charlotte in a desperate bid to "escape" life. For nine harrowing months, she hit rock bottom, DJing for days without sleep, entangled in a chaotic cycle of self-destruction. Her first arrest was in 2008, leading to a felony and time in county jail. Weekends in county became a nightmare after a dirty urine test sent her to prison for three years. Vowing to never use again, Roz quickly found herself back in the same destructive patterns.. It was in 2013, at a rehab in Michigan, that Roz finally found the lifeline she needed to get clean.. A decade ago, she walked into her last rehab with a felony record, a dismal 500 credit score, and an empty bank account. Her personal relationships were in tatters, ravaged by addiction, childhood trauma, and the severe emotional immaturity that came from years of drug-induced self-centeredness. Though her journey wasn't without setbacks, Roz has been thriving since 2015, relentlessly dedicated to transforming her life and mindset. Today, Roz stands as a testament to the power of relentless dedication and profound personal growth. Her journey from the depths of despair to a life filled with achievement and purpose is a powerful reminder of the human spirit's capacity for change. Roz's story is one of passionate resolve, illustrating that no matter how deep the fall, the climb back up is always possible with unwavering commitment and the right support. Roz stands as a triumphant force, embodying the power of transformation and resilience. As the Director of Business Development for her employer, she brings her wealth of experience and drive to her role. Roz holds both a Bachelor's and a Master's degree, and she is licensed to sell real estate in Hawaii, She owns three properties through the business she created, reflecting her entrepreneurial spirit and hard work. Roz’s journey has taken her across the globe, allowing her to experience the richness of over 20 countries a testament to her unwavering determination and skill. Married to a loving and supportive man, Roz has built a life of stability and love.. Roz's personal relationships and entire life have blossomed beyond her wildest dreams, a direct result of her decision to take control of her destiny. Her story is not just about overcoming addiction but about harnessing the strength within to build a life of purpose and fulfillment. Roz's journey is a profound testament to the indomitable human spirit and the incredible possibilities that arise when we dare to reclaim our lives. Her path to recovery has been nothing short of extraordinary. She passionately declares "I am the creator of my world, so I better make choices that align with my dreams,". For Roz, it's about reclaiming her life from the grip of addiction and living with intention, on her own terms. Her story is a powerful testament to the human spirit's resilience and the unwavering commitment to personal growth. Roz has emerged as a beacon of transformation and resilience. 

Brian Ready is not just a national recovery advocate, speaker, and motivational coach—he is a beacon of hope and transformation. A devoted father to three beautiful daughters and a loving husband to his wife, Kimberly, Brian embraces the privilege of working alongside her every day, united in their mission to guide others on the path to recovery.

As the visionary founder of Oaks Recovery, one of the nation’s preeminent 12-step recovery programs nestled in upstate South Carolina, Brian has committed his life to forging a sanctuary where individuals can find solace, support, and profound change. Oaks Recovery is more than just a program; it is a lifeline extended to individuals from every corner of the globe, offering them the compassion, tools, and unwavering love necessary to break free from the shackles of addiction.

Brian's own arduous journey through addiction and recovery ignites his fervor for advocacy and outreach. It is this very experience that has crystallized his belief in the transformative power of community, accountability, the 12 steps, and the gift of second chances. Whether addressing audiences on national stages, coaching individuals with personalized care, or immersing himself in hands-on recovery work, Brian's unwavering dedication to igniting hope and a renewed sense of purpose in others is evident.

His mission transcends the ordinary: to change lives, restore families, and unequivocally demonstrate that recovery is within reach for anyone ready to take that first courageous step and commit to the arduous yet rewarding journey toward genuine freedom from alcoholism and drug addiction. Brian Ready is living proof that with passion, perseverance, and a supportive community, the light at the end of the tunnel is not just a glimmer—it is a radiant sunrise heralding a new beginning.

I must be willing to do whatever “anything” looks like to help another alcoholic. This means offering unwavering friendship and fellowship, and assuring him that if he genuinely desires to get well, I will do anything to support him on his journey. The bond we create is founded on trust, empathy, and shared experience.  Pg 95

You can have what we have, no strings attached. However, this comes with the need for brutal honesty with oneself. You must be willing to change every pattern in your life and be consistent. Consistency is not about doing the same thing over and over, but about doing what needs to be done next. Implementing discipline is essential, and through this process, we transform each other by creating an intimate and supportive relationship.

1. We are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable: This fundamental acknowledgment is the first step towards healing. Recognizing our powerlessness over alcohol and the chaos it brings into our lives opens the door to seeking help and change.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity: Embracing the belief in a higher power—whether it be a spiritual presence, a supportive community, or another source of strength—brings hope and guidance. This belief fosters a sense of purpose and direction in the recovery process.
3. Made a conscious decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him: This step is about surrendering control and trusting in the higher power identified in Step 2. It involves making a profound commitment to follow a new path, allowing this higher power to guide our actions and decisions.

Through these steps, we embark on a journey of profound personal transformation, supporting each other and embracing the possibility of a better future. This process not only fosters individual growth but also strengthens the bonds of fellowship and shared recovery.

Margery Bailey's life is a gripping saga of resilience and profound transformation. Born in Sacramento, CA, she approaches her 50th birthday with a story that speaks to the depths of human struggle and the triumph of spirit. Raised in a turbulent alcoholic Irish Catholic household with two sisters, including an identical twin, Margery's early years were steeped in chaos. Her father, a Vietnam veteran, battled severe depression and PTSD, profoundly shaping her understanding of the world. Yet, his playful moments—enjoying George Carlin, Belushi on SNL, and dancing to Motown records—etched endearing memories that stayed with her. Margery's deeply religious mother remained steadfastly connected to her Catholic church, offering a stark contrast to the disorder at home.

Margery's talent and drive earned her acceptance into an Arts Magnet High School, where she thrived in voice and acting, directed plays, and toured military bases, senior facilities, and Japan with a high school jazz choir. But after high school, the protective bubble burst. Moving out of her restrictive and religious home, Margery faced the harsh realities of juggling university, work, and independence in San Francisco. The pressure led to a breakdown and a return to Sacramento. Determined, she completed her education while working three jobs, saving money for a move to Los Angeles, where she spent three years as a producer before relocating to New York.

In New York City, the chaos intensified. Within just four months, the Twin Towers fell, and Margery's drinking spiraled out of control. Seeking solace, she returned to California, immersed herself in hot yoga, and became a realtor just as the dot-com bubble burst, causing her to lose everything. By 2007, despite becoming a hot yoga teacher and mentoring under a powerful yogi, her alcohol consumption, depression, and sadness grew worse.

Motherhood at nearly 40 triggered early menopause, pushing Margery into researching and writing about healing. Observing that some in yoga found healing while others remained stuck, she began writing "Thinking About Chakra." However, its esoteric nature seemed out of reach for many. She realized that true healing required inner work, focusing on breath work and surrender rather than just physical postures.

2024 marked a pivotal turning point. A month before her 49th birthday, Margery decided to stop drinking. Her health had deteriorated after the Johnson & Johnson vaccine in 2021, and a move to South Carolina exacerbated her symptoms. The accumulated grief finally demanded her attention. As a single mom, she had justified her wine nights but came to see that alcohol was detrimental during menopause.

Margery spent this year crafting a workbook/journal for peri-menopausal and menopausal women, filled with tools she wished she had known a decade ago. Ready to self-publish, she aims to share her insights with women in need. Margery's transformation from a chaotic upbringing to a spiritually enriched life is a testament to her resilience and commitment to personal growth. Now, she stands poised to inspire and support other women facing similar challenges, guiding them out of darkness and into the light of self-discovery and healing.

This week’s special guest is Matthew Parsley. Born in Long Beach, Long Island, and raised in Dillon, South Carolina, by his grandmother and great-grandmother from the age of six, Matthew's early life was deeply influenced by a religious and spiritual household. Church provided solace, but his childhood was also marked by the trauma of being molested by a favorite cousin, a secret that cast a long shadow over his formative years. Unlike other boys, Matthew felt different, gravitating towards girls and finding comfort in their company. His grandmother introduced him to baseball, but another hidden, darker world beckoned, fueled by his father's stash of VHS tapes and DVDs. Pornography, masturbation, and eventually promiscuity became secret addictions that led him to unimaginable places.

College in Daytona Beach, Florida, brought new experiences and vices. Introduced to weed by his best friend, who passed away in 2010, Matthew became a weekend warrior. Transient sexual relations and pornography addiction escalated, leading to missed classes and lost opportunities. Despite graduating, he didn't earn a degree, having lost his band scholarship due to poor attendance.

In 2016, Matthew moved to New York City, where the grip of sex and drugs tightened around his life. Methamphetamine became his new demon, intensifying his sex addiction and leading him down the path of intravenous drug use. Soon, he found himself ostracized after testing HIV positive. His family feared for his safety as he vanished into the city's underbelly. The stroke his father suffered only deepened Matthew's resentment and fueled his desire to escape through drugs, leaving his mother to care for his ailing father alone. This period marked a profound descent into darkness, where the weight of his choices and the pain of his reality collided.

By 2022, Matthew had reached the lowest point in his life. Suicidal and broken, he found himself in the back of a sheriff's car on the way to detox. His first meeting at Primary Purpose in Myrtle Beach was a pivotal moment, marking the start of his transformation. It was there that Matthew came to understand his spiritual sickness.

Today, Matthew is a new man, rebuilt by the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous and the fellowship of the spirit. He passionately says, “Staying stopped… getting high… that’s the small part. It’s what’s inside that needs reparations.” Matthew's presence today is a testament to his choice to be present, living one day at a time.

Matthew's spiritual relationship with God and others is now the cornerstone of his life. Embracing life's terms and focusing on the journey rather than the outcome, he greets each day with profound gratitude and purpose. His entry into Oaks Recovery on his mother's birthday, June 25, symbolizes his rebirth and unwavering commitment to a brighter future. Matthew dedicates himself to helping other addicts, working diligently, and forgiving himself for past mistakes. His journey is a profound testament to the boundless possibility of change and the unbreakable resilience of the human spirit.

Hype's story is one of unimaginable pain and redemption. Born in prison, he faced a life of hardship from the very beginning. At 11, he witnessed his mother's death, and by 12, he endured relentless physical abuse. In a desperate act of self-defense, Hype set his abuser on fire, leading to a sentence of juvenile life. He was released at 19, only to face more turmoil.

In 2001, Hype's twin brother was deployed overseas, but Hype was denied the chance to join him because of his criminal record. In a fit of rage and despair, in January 2002, he stormed a federal courthouse with pipe bombs and assault rifles, resulting in a conviction for domestic terrorism and a 480-month sentence in a high-security prison. The loss of his twin to suicide, driven by PTSD from military service, only deepened Hype's anguish.

While incarcerated, Hype's anger led him to assault another inmate, leaving the man to die of hypothermia in a prison freezer. This act sent Hype to the A.D.X. Supermax security prison, all before he turned 25.

Tragedy continued to follow Hype. He accidentally killed his wife and her son in a car wreck, leaving him lost and alone, feeling destined to live in hell on earth. In his despair, Hype found himself drawn to a supremacist group, seeking a sense of belonging in a dark place. But amidst the darkness, a glimmer of hope emerged. Hype was saved by the blood of Jesus Christ, shed for humanity on Calvary. God pulled him from the depths of hell, showing him a path to redemption. Hype learned to love himself and others after years of becoming calloused. He fell in love once again and began to start a new life, a new soul with a gift from God—a soulmate.

However, Hype endured yet another loss. Despite finding redemption and growth, his girlfriend relapsed and committed suicide. Hype found himself in such despair, feeling destined only to experience grief, pain, and heartache, he thoughts led to one final answer to stop the pain. It was then that God revealed to Hype his true purpose: to help save other young boys from the same trauma he endured. To help others escape the shackles of self-loathing and self-destruction. Through his faith and newfound mission, Hype transformed his life, dedicating himself to guiding others out of the darkness and into the light.

Introducing our special guests this week: Ashleigh and Lance Cline – “This is the life I prayed for.”

Ashleigh and Lance's story began in 2019 when they connected through the Any Length Recovery Facebook page. At that time, Ashleigh was just four months out of prison, starting to rebuild her life, while Lance was emerging from his own prison, the trap houses of W. Baltimore. Both were early in their recovery journeys, with Lance seeking convenience rather than a relationship. Ashleigh made it clear she wasn't interested in casual encounters, and they decided to take it slow—a new experience for both. They spent a month talking on the phone, getting to know each other.

Once Ashleigh regained her license, she drove to Sumter to visit Lance, living at a men's recovery home, working full-time, and learning how to navigate life as an honest, responsible person. She drove every chance she got and began to fall in love. Initially, Lance viewed their connection as short-term and superficial. Despite their differences, they found solace, peace, and understanding in each other, creating an unshakeable foundation.

Those weekend visits became a cherished routine. Not long after, Lance experienced a new season of true love. He got a car, and together they maximized their time, traveling back and forth. Trust came naturally despite the distance. The power of a Higher Calm unveiled true love and brought them closer. Ashleigh fell in love with Lance's passion and commitment to recovery—his very essence. Lance fell in love with Ashleigh’s smile, goofy energy, and zeal for life.

On June 18, 2022, Ashleigh and Lance got married. Over the years, these two unlikely personalities have grown immensely together. Their love story is like a fairytale written by the Coen Brothers, transforming from hell to heaven on earth—a metamorphosis from a worm to a beautiful butterfly. They have learned to take responsibility and build their lives side by side, brick by brick. Honest and raw communication has been the cornerstone of their marriage, preventing real trials and tribulations. Navigating life as sober individuals, they continuously help others along the way.

Lance and Ashleigh are best friends and steadfast supporters in all areas of life. They are deeply in love with the concept of family and are committed to being a part of it. They understand the importance of giving advice when needed and practicing reflective listening to truly connect with each other's souls and thoughts. Their journey together is a testament to growth, love, and mutual support.

Chris Lane, 35, was born in the small town of Rumford, Maine.  At the age of five, he moved with his parents to the rural parts of Columbia and Lexington, South Carolina.

Growing up, Chris witnessed most of his family either battling addiction or navigating recovery. Following this difficult family legacy, he began drinking at 14. Like many, his relationship with alcohol saw peaks and valleys, his daily life revolving around his next drink.

In 2020, as the world spiraled out of control, so did Chris's drinking. It became a constant companion, making work and everyday activities impossible to face sober.

It wasn’t until 2023 that Chris finally entered a recovery program, a journey marked by multiple relapses. Only at Oaks Recovery, where he found true enlightenment and a profound spiritual shift, did Chris realize he needed no reservations—just trust in the process. By surrendering control and embracing his Higher Power, he discovered that recovery is real.

Today, Chris’s story is one of resilience and transformation.  Embracing self-awareness with tenderness has allowed him to grow and heal, turning his vulnerabilities into strengths.  This vulnerability creates a space for honest connection, allowing him and his fellows to truly understand and support each other. Chris's journey proves that even in the face of adversity, there is hope and a path forward.

Ashleigh Cline is a certified peer support specialist at Westview Behavioral Health. After a turbulent road filled with addiction, trauma, and significant personal loss her story has transformed dramatically from one of despair to one of resilience and post-traumatic growth. Her twelve-year battle with addiction marked the beginning of a profound journey of self-discovery, leading her to the threshold of recovery.

On January 26, 2025, Ashleigh will celebrate seven years of sobriety. Her recovery journey now centers around sharing her experiences of addiction, loss, 17 months of incarceration, and eventual recovery. Refusing to be haunted by her past, Ashleigh chose to turn her suffering into a source of courage and support for others. By actively participating in the recovery community, she has witnessed how resilience can transform lives-not just her own, but also those she has had the honor to help. Each shared story becomes a beacon of hope, demonstrating that overcoming hardship and finding meaning beyond addiction is possible.

In March 2023, at 43 years old, Ashleigh returned to college at Limestone University to pursue her bachelor's degree in social work. Maintaining a 4.0 GPA, she is on track to graduate in December 2024. Her academic journey has been challenging yet incredibly rewarding, reaffirming her commitment to helping others. With a blend of personal experience and professional training, Ashleigh plans to begin working as an addiction and substance use counselor in December. Her journey through recovery has provided her with a unique perspective and deep empathy for those facing similar struggles. Ashleigh is dedicated to positively impacting the lives of individuals battling addiction, guiding them toward their own paths to recovery, just as she found hers.

This week’s conversation is with a small group of people interested in understanding my design for living. The conversation is raw and honest, and not everyone may be receptive to it. This is the beauty of choice. We no longer have to live our lives concerned about others’ opinions and expectations of us. Find your tribe, seek out mentors—more than one if possible. Love yourself, continue to grow, and aim to be 1% better every day.

We stay focused on the solution, always striving to be better than we were yesterday. True transformation doesn’t come from mere contemplation; it requires action. You can’t think your way into right thinking; you have to act your way into it. Embrace self-love and recognize that your Higher Power is always present, waiting for you to open that channel. Detach your ego and eliminate reactive behaviors.

Take criticism not as a setback but as an opportunity for growth. Objectively assess its validity and calmly evaluate the feedback. This enhances our ability to navigate challenging personalities and situations with grace. The ability to differentiate between the mountains of criticism and negativity we face daily and the opportunities they present is vital for personal and professional growth.

Using criticism to focus on our present emotional intellect helps us stay mentally and emotionally in the moment. This is a pivotal skill for avoiding the darkness that comes with resentment and defensiveness. Prioritize intellect over emotion (I over E).

By focusing on these principles, we can cultivate a life of continuous improvement and resilience. It’s about embracing the journey, learning from every experience, and finding strength in our connections and self-love

Enjoy the conversation.

Lance Cline hails from the heart of Maryland. His childhood was shaped within the nurturing yet challenging environment of Recovery, as both of his parents have been steadfast in their Recovery journey for over 40 years. This unique upbringing instilled in Lance a deep understanding of the struggles and triumphs that come with addiction and recovery.

In 2017, Lance’s world was shattered when he lost his brother to a fentanyl overdose. The grief and despair that followed were overwhelming, plunging Lance into a dark abyss of hopelessness and self-doubt. This profound loss became the catalyst for his own battle with addiction, leading Lance down a harrowing path that left him homeless on the unforgiving streets of Baltimore.

Lance’s journey to recovery was anything but straightforward. It took the relentless pursuit of healing through 20 treatment centers before he finally found solace in surrender and acceptance. This pivotal moment marked the beginning of Lance’s transformation.

Today, Lance stands proud, having been sober for six years. His unwavering belief in the 12 steps and the transformative power of service to others has been the cornerstone of Lance’s recovery. This commitment to helping others has not only fortified his own sobriety but has also given Lance a life, profound in meaning and purpose.

Every day, Lance strives to live in the solution, embracing the challenges and joys that come with a life dedicated to recovery. Lance’s mission is to guide others towards the light of recovery, offering hope and support to those still struggling. Through Lance’s journey, he has learned that even in our darkest moments, there is always a path to redemption and a chance to rebuild our lives with love, compassion, and unwavering determination.

Jamar’s journey is a vivid illustration of the human spirit’s capacity to endure and triumph. It speaks to the courage needed to face one’s demons, the unwavering determination to reclaim one’s life, and the rediscovery of hope and purpose that fuels the path to recovery. His transformation is a beacon for others, illuminating the way forward and proving that with relentless effort and unwavering support, recovery is not just a possibility but a profound reality.

Today, Jamar stands as a radiant beacon of hope, a living testament to the profound possibility of recovery and the arduous journey it demands. No longer shackled by the chains of a self-imposed prison, he now embraces life with the profound gratitude and vigor of one who has emerged from the darkest depths of addiction. His story is not just a narrative of survival but a powerful testament to the indomitable strength and resilience required to conquer the relentless grip of addiction.

Jamar’s odyssey to recovery commenced on March 17th, 2018, a date etched in his memory as the beginning of a profound transformation. His narrative is a harrowing tapestry woven with threads of deep-seated depression, excruciating pain, and an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and worthlessness. These emotions, intertwined with unmanageability, selfishness, and self-seeking behaviors, propelled him into an abyss of darkness. Jamar’s struggle with addiction was punctuated by harrowing episodes of suicidal ideation, seething rage, and a relentless cycle of denial and justification.

Jamar’s descent into substance use began at the tender age of 13 or 14. The very first encounter with a substance was a revelation, an intoxicating escape from a reality he found unbearable. Drugs, and any other means of obliterating his consciousness, swiftly became his paramount obsession. Despite not being overtly rebellious, Jamar was a soul in turmoil, grappling with the scars of abandonment and other personal demons. He fulfilled his obligations, such as attending school, but the hours after school became a sanctuary for his substance use.

Marijuana was his initial refuge, but as his addiction spiraled, he resorted to any substance he could procure.

Today, Jamar stands as a beacon of hope, a living testament to the possibility of recovery and the relentless journey it entails. No longer confined to a self-imposed prison, he embraces life with the gratitude of a recovering addict. His story is a powerful testament to the indomitable strength and resilience required to conquer addiction and rediscover hope and purpose in recovery.

This week’s special guest is the returning Roger Layne from Week 2. Roger will delve into his extensive knowledge and experience with the virtues of Stoicism and the 12 principles of the twelve steps. These principles emphasize living a virtuous life, focusing on what is within our control, and accepting the natural order of things.

Roger will explain how the 12 principles provide a practical, day-to-day application of Stoic philosophy, breaking down its core tenets into actionable steps. While Stoicism offers the philosophical foundation, these principles present a structured approach to implementing these ideas in everyday life, making the ancient wisdom of Stoicism both accessible and practical for modern living.

Roger Layne,  seasoned in Stoic philosophy, will revisit the core virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance. He will illustrate how these virtues can be cultivated through the 12 principles, which include understanding what is within our control, practicing self-reflection, and maintaining emotional stability. By focusing on these principles, individuals can develop resilience and clarity, enabling them to navigate life’s challenges with greater ease and purpose.

Furthermore, Roger will highlight the importance of gratitude, acceptance of fate, and the practice of detachment from material possessions. These aspects of Stoicism encourage a mindset of contentment and peace, regardless of external circumstances. By embracing the inevitability of change and living by reason, one can achieve a balanced and fulfilling life.

Roger’s insights will demonstrate how Stoicism is not just a theoretical philosophy but a practical guide for everyday living. He will provide examples and anecdotes to show how these principles can be applied in various situations, from personal relationships to professional endeavors. This approach makes the ancient wisdom of Stoicism relevant and useful for contemporary audiences, helping them to lead more virtuous and meaningful lives.

April Parker grew up in Indian Land, South Carolina, often escaping her tumultuous home life by playing outside, reading, and pretending to be a teacher. Despite being molested by her siblings and ignored by her parents, who were preoccupied with her father’s alcoholism, April excelled in academics and sports, earned a scholarship to Winthrop University, becoming the first in her family to attend college, and graduated with a BS in Elementary Education

 During college, she met her ex-husband, became pregnant, and was pressured into marriage, only to later discover he was already married and living under a false identity from Africa. Despite these challenges, April supported her family, completed her education, and became a middle school science teacher.

 After her father’s death from cancer in 2014, April felt lost but remained self-sufficient. However, she began using and selling drugs, got involved in illegal activities, and neglected her children. She quit teaching due to a scandal and turned to high-dollar prostitution and drug dealing, losing herself in the process. April was raped multiple times, and was incarcerated on October 20, 2020, leaving her kids under the care of gang members. Social services eventually stepped in and placed her kids with her mother, who then handed them to her ex-husband.

Encouraged by a fellow inmate, April sought help from the chaplain and realized she didn’t want to live like this anymore. The incarceration was April’s start to a life of sobriety, with a sobriety date of October 21, 2020.

After getting a bond, she went to a Sober Living home, although she stopped using drugs, April struggled with ingrained behaviors and the need for attention. Even though April was clean, the darkness continued to grow. April finally surrendered, began working the 12 steps, attending meetings and established a fitness and nutrition routine that brought her spiritual peace and a deeper connection with God.

April met a wonderful man who taught her about love, service, family, and recovery, but he passed away from COVID shortly after celebrating 14 years of sobriety. Despite numerous challenges, April found direction and support, choosing sobriety over the urge to use. She moved back into Sober Living home and began working at a treatment center. April dedicated herself to serving others as guided by God.

April now has a stable relationship with her kids, is engaged, and actively helps women in recovery, including sponsoring females in prison. She states, “Watching them heal, helps me heal”. April is involved in an addiction ministry, maintains strict routines and behaviors. April embodies the statement:

 “Living by the power of Christ and striving to love like Jesus until I am called to Heaven”.

Seth Vallett’s life has been a rollercoaster of highs and lows, a symphony of triumphs and struggles. Born in the heart of Macon, Georgia, he emerged from a close-knit family—a tapestry woven with love and resilience.

As a teenager, Seth danced on the edge of existence, drawn to mind-altering substances like a moth to a flame. These choices led him down a treacherous path, where addiction wrapped its tendrils around his soul, threatening to extinguish his light. The future seemed uncertain, a foggy landscape where hope flickered like a distant star.

But in the midst of this darkness, Seth found unwavering support. His wife and family stood by his side, warriors in the battle against addiction. Together, they weathered storms, fought demons, and held onto the fragile thread of hope.

Rehabilitation centers became Seth’s battlegrounds, and he faced more than ten overdose incidents—each a near miss, a second chance. Yet it was a seemingly ordinary six-day detox that altered the course of his life forever. In those quiet moments, Seth encountered Jesus Christ—a revelation that transformed his pain into purpose. Faith became the cornerstone of his recovery, a lighthouse guiding him through the tempest.

Today, Seth stands as a testament to resilience. He wears honesty like armor, love like a warm embrace. In his community, he is more than a name; he is a beacon—a devoted father, a successful business owner, a friend, a role model. His scars tell stories of battles fought and won, etched into his skin like chapters of a gripping novel.

Beyond personal growth, Seth finds solace in the wild. Hunting and fishing are his cathedrals, where he connects with nature and himself. But it doesn’t end there. Seth’s heart spills over with compassion—he gives back through service work, a ripple of kindness in a troubled world.

He whispers to others in their darkest hours: “There is hope.” Seth believes that every twist of fate, every stumble, happens for a reason. His recovery journey, spanning nearly two years, is a testament to resilience, faith, and the power of redemption.

So, remember Seth Vallett—a survivor, a warrior, a man who turned brokenness into beauty. His story echoes through time, a melody of hope for those who listen

Gerry Kelly: A Journey Across Oceans

Gerry Kelly, a man of seasoned years and weathered spirit, traces his origins to the cobbled streets of Dublin, Ireland. Born under the watchful eyes of the Emerald Isle, he carried dreams as fragile as the morning mist. But destiny, that elusive weaver of narratives, had grander plans.

In the fateful year of 1986, Gerry embarked on a pilgrimage across the Atlantic. With a mere $400 clutched tightly—a talisman against uncertainty—he stepped onto American soil. The United States, a symphony of ambition and opportunity, welcomed him with open arms. The Statue of Liberty, her torch ablaze, whispered secrets of reinvention and resilience.

And so Gerry stayed. Thirty-eight years etched into the marrow of his bones, each day a chapter in the epic saga of survival. Pamela Helms, a beacon of warmth and laughter, became his partner in this unfolding drama. On a sun-kissed June day in 2024, they exchanged vows—their love a bridge spanning continents, cultures, and shared dreams.

Their family portrait is a canvas of diversity: Together, they form a mosaic of love, resilience, and acceptance—a testament to the beauty of blended families. Their home reverberates with gratitude, and their hearts dance to a rhythm of compassion.

But Gerry and Pamela are more than mere spectators in life’s theater. Their purpose transcends the ordinary. They extend hands to those ensnared by addiction—the alcoholics, the lost souls—offering redemption in exchange for their own joy.

And then there are the constants: God, the silent architect; Country, its flag rippling in the wind; and Guns, symbols

of protection and heritage. Gerry’s allegiance is unwavering, a hymn sung in the language of calloused hands and sunburned necks.

“Trust in God,” Gerry declares, his voice a timeworn melody. For he knows that even amidst the scaffolding of construction sites, where sweat mingles with sawdust, there’s a divine blueprint guiding his steps.

May the winds carry his tale across oceans, whispering it to those who listen

Jessie Franklin and Lacy Spivey: A Journey of Redemption and Resilience

Jessie Franklin and Lacy Spivey’s intertwined lives, marked by addiction and separation, ultimately led them back to each other. Their story serves as a beacon of hope for others, demonstrating that even in the darkest moments, redemption and resilience can pave the way to a new beginning.

1. High School Connection: Jessie and Lacy’s vibrant personalities drew them together during their high school years. Although their initial romance was brief, fate would reunite them later in life, weaving their paths together once more.
2. Bond Through Parenthood: Lacy’s pregnancy with their son, Hudson, solidified their bond. However, alcohol initially held them together while also fueling their downward spiral. Their shared responsibility as parents became a powerful force in their lives.
3. Struggles and Recovery: Jessie battled severe addiction, reaching a turning point where he chose sobriety and relocated to Georgia. Meanwhile, Lacy raised Hudson alone, navigating her own substance-related challenges.
4. Recommitment and Transformation: Despite their struggles, Jessie and Lacy recommitted to each other, embracing the 12-step recovery process. Jessie’s personal transformation led him to become a Certified Peer Support Specialist, while Lacy blossomed into the mother she aspired to be.
5. Shared Faith and Community: Their unwavering faith sustained them. Jessie now coaches his son’s basketball team, surrounded by a close-knit group of friends. Lacy continues her recovery journey, supporting others along the way.

In Jessie Franklin and Lacy Spivey’s remarkable journey, we find inspiration—a testament to the human spirit’s capacity for renewal and hope. 

JESSE FRANKLIN CONTACT INFO 

EMAIL : JESSIE@CourageCenterSC.ORG

(803)-546-8280

LACY SPIVEY CONTACT INFO  

EMAIL: lacyaspivey@gmail.com

(803)-243-2368

Julie’s Journey to Authenticity

 INSTAGRAM: Julie_Cole_Coaching / Julie@JulieCole.org

Julie Cole sat in the dimly lit room, her fingers tracing the edges of her sobriety coin. Twenty-six years. It felt like a lifetime and a heartbeat all at once. The room was filled with others—strangers who had become confidantes, their stories woven together like a patchwork quilt of resilience.

“If you live sober long enough,” Julie thought, “you’ll face joys and heartbreaks that cut to the core.” She knew this truth intimately. The laughter of newfound friends, the tears shed for lost loved ones—it was all part of the tapestry of recovery.

Julie’s journey hadn’t been pretty. It had been raw, messy, and achingly real. She’d stumbled, fallen, and risen again. Her transparency was her strength, her authenticity a beacon for those still finding their way.

As the owner of Julie Cole Counseling, Coaching & Consulting, LLC, Julie took a holistic approach to helping others. She understood that healing wasn’t just about abstinence; it was about rebuilding shattered lives. Her clients weren’t statistics; they were souls seeking redemption.

The #loveher Podcast was her passion project—a space where authenticity reigned. Julie’s soothing voice carried stories of triumph and struggle, weaving hope into the airwaves. Listeners tuned in, nodding along as she shared her own battles—the messy divorce, the late-night cravings, the quiet victories.

Twenty-five years in social work and substance use disorder counseling had etched lines of compassion on Julie’s face. She’d held trembling hands, wiped tears, and celebrated small victories. Her heart swelled when a client found their voice or a lost soul discovered purpose.

Public speaking was both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. Julie stood before crowds, her vulnerability a superpower. She spoke of resilience, of the beauty in brokenness. Her certifications—Licensed Master Social Worker, Certified Peer Support Specialist, Certified Personal Trainer, Certified Health Coach, and Certified Nutrition Coach—were mere labels. What mattered was the fire within her—the unwavering belief that everyone deserved a second chance.

At home, Julie juggled motherhood with grace. Two children, a spoiled dog, a guinea pig, two rats, and two fish—they were her heart. She taught them empathy, resilience, and the value of authenticity. They laughed together, huddled under blankets during thunderstorms, and whispered secrets late at night.

And then there were her escapes—the gym, where sweat washed away worries; camping trips, where nature whispered ancient truths; hikes that led to mountaintop revelations; and travels that expanded her soul.

Julie Cole—the woman who wore her scars proudly, who turned vulnerability into strength. Her journey wasn’t linear, but it was authentic. And as she sat in that room, surrounded by fellow travelers, she knew she was exactly where she needed to be.

Jodi’s Journey: From Darkness to Hope

Jodi’s path through addiction, recovery, and the pain of loss has been an arduous one. The weight of shame and guilt rests heavily on her shoulders, yet she remains resolute in her quest for strength and sobriety. Despite enduring immense heartache, Jodi channels her experiences into helping others while safeguarding her own well-being.

Together with her husband and son, Jodi’s commitment to staying clean reflects the unbreakable bonds of family love and resilience. Their shared journey is a testament to their unwavering faith and passion for grace. Facing adversity at its deepest levels, Jodi confronts her emotions head-on, drawing strength from every available source.

In her 3.5-year clean journey, Jodi encountered three relapses in December and January. The turning point? The guilt stemming from her son’s overdose on December 31, 2024. Jodi believes her purpose extends beyond mere survival—it may even be divinely ordained.

Her pain resonates universally: countless people in active addiction won’t survive, leaving shattered families behind. Jodi would sacrifice herself to spare a stranger from such anguish.

Jodi’s transformation is remarkable. Once ensnared by addiction, she now embraces faith, supporting others seeking change. Yet, she’s learned that self-care matters too. Her son’s recovery from fentanyl and heroin addiction serves as a poignant reminder of the delicate balance between helping others and preserving one’s own well-being. Jodi’s inner honesty fuels her commitment to personal growth. Her spirit stands as a humbling testament: no matter the trials, with divine grace, we can prevail.

Russell Marchese’s story is indeed a profound narrative of hope, resilience, and the enduring power of faith and love. It’s a story that resonates with many who have faced similar battles, and it serves as a beacon of light for those still navigating the path of recovery.

The journey of self-discovery and the embrace of one’s spirituality can be transformative. It’s a process that often begins with the challenging acknowledgment of our own role in our struggles, leading to a deeper understanding and acceptance of ourselves. Russ’s experience underscores the importance of this self-awareness and the strength that comes from a connection with a higher power. Russ says,” Once I put GOD 1st, you 2nd, I began to love the Man in the Mirror.”

Every day of sobriety is a milestone, a testament to the commitment to a life reclaimed. The clarity and freedom that come with sobriety are indeed akin to a rebirth, offering new perspectives and possibilities.

Russ’s story, like so many others, is a reminder that while the road to recovery may be long and fraught with challenges, it is also paved with moments of triumph and the potential for a renewed sense of purpose. It’s a journey that not only changes the individual but also has the power to inspire and impact the lives of others.

May Russ’s story continue to inspire and offer solace to those who are on their own journey towards healing and self-discovery. 

Thank you Russ for sharing such an inspiring account of transformation and hope. I love you and will be eternally grateful.

“When the student is ready the teacher will appear”

Rachel’s profound journey to freedom is indeed a testament to the human spirit’s resilience and the transformative power of recovery. Born into a challenging environment, she faced her struggles head-on. Rachel’s journey from dealing with an eating disorder and substance abuse to becoming a pillar of support and inspiration is nothing short of remarkable. By turning her life around and dedicating herself to helping others, Rachel exemplifies the strength that can emerge from adversity.

Her dedication to mindfulness, community, and physical wellness has not only been a cornerstone of her own recovery but also a source of strength for those around her. As Rachel continues to support others and spread her message of recovery, she embodies the very essence of service. Her efforts are indeed making a significant impact, and her story will undoubtedly continue to guide and inspire many on their paths to healing and well-being.

Rachel’s words, “Together we will continue to embrace the pillars of peaceful balance through seeking resources to support your journey, -I’m here to help,” reflect a powerful commitment to service and a reminder that no one is alone in their struggles. It’s a call to action for communities to come together, share resources, and uplift each other in the pursuit of well-being.

“Rachel, your journey is a testament to the power of hope and the strength of the human spirit” – Matty I

3 Pillars to a Peaceful Balance:

1. Mindfulness / Meditation:

• Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help you cultivate awareness of the present moment, reduce stress, and enhance overall well-being. Consider incorporating mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, body scans, or guided meditation into your daily routine.

• Building and maintaining meaningful connections with others is essential for emotional health. Engage with your community, whether through social activities, volunteering, or participating in group events. Supportive relationships provide a sense of belonging and contribute to a peaceful balance.

• Prioritize your physical health by adopting a balanced diet and regular exercise. Proper nutrition fuels your body and mind, while physical activity promotes vitality and reduces tension. Remember to stay hydrated and get adequate rest to maintain overall well-being.

JOURNEY OF RESILIENCE AND PURPOSE

From the rolling hills of Pennsylvania to the warm embrace of the South, Gerry’s life’s journey has been anything but ordinary. At the tender age of 10, his family’s move to Irmo introduced him to a world where Gerry’s biracial heritage was as rare as it was misunderstood. The challenges were manifold: financial constraints that led to ridicule and a sense of isolation in a place where he stood out for all the wrong reasons. Yet, amidst these trials, his parents’ unwavering dedication to providing a loving home and education taught Gerry the value of hard work and perseverance.

As Gerry navigated through college, his ambitions crystallized around a singular goal: to achieve financial success and escape the shadows of Gerry’s childhood hardships. Gerry’s career as a Strategic Account Manager in the Cardiovascular Division of a major medical device company became a testament to his drive and determination. But with success came an unexpected adversary—alcohol. What began as a celebratory ritual slowly morphed into a struggle that threatened to undermine everything Gerry had worked for.

March 2007 marked a pivotal turning point. Embracing sobriety, Gerry found solace and strength within The Irmo Group, which has since become his steadfast home group. Gerry’s commitment to recovery also led him to serve as the Vice Chair of the Board of Directors at The Courage Center, where Gerry could extend a helping hand to others embarking on their own paths to healing.

The past five years have been a period of profound introspection and growth. The end of an 18-year marriage, devoid of the joys of parenthood, prompted Gerry to look beyond the superficial markers of success. No longer confined by the titles and accolades of Gerry’s profession. Gerry says,” I am  on a quest to discover my true purpose—a purpose that transcends the material and seeks to make a meaningful impact on the world around me.”

William A. McCauley, a Certified Peer-Support Specialist affiliated with The Courage Center, has not only embraced this title but also woven it into the very fabric of his identity. His journey is one of resilience, transformation, and unwavering commitment to recovery.

For over 25 years, William grappled with the relentless grip of addiction. The last decade was particularly harrowing, marked by IV Meth and Fentanyl use. His existence revolved around the pursuit of substances, leaving behind a trail of broken connections and a fractured family. By the time he stumbled upon the path to recovery, he stood on the precipice of homelessness, isolated and desperate.

The turning point arrived during a moment of sheer vulnerability. After surviving 14 overdoses, William found himself in the throes of withdrawal, haunted by the certainty that the next dose could be fatal. Fear and craving waged war within him, creating a paradoxical panic. That fateful night, he screamed his defiance to the universe, refusing to succumb to addiction’s grip. In the quiet aftermath, a newfound resolve settled over him—a resolve that would alter the course of his life.

Treatment became his lifeline. Armed with knowledge from various treatment centers, he drew from the well of 12-step literature and embarked on a journey of self-reinvention. But William’s path was not rigid; he blended multiple approaches, creating a personalized roadmap to recovery. At its core lay a commitment to service, a foundation that sustained him through the darkest days.

Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT), specifically Suboxone, played a pivotal role. It provided stability, easing the physical and emotional turmoil. And then, on February 1, 2021, William realized a long-held dream—he stepped into a career as an addiction professional. His house, his car, and his vibrant recovery community bear witness to the transformation. Today, life is not merely good; it’s great.

William’s story is one of redemption, resilience, and the unwavering belief that change is possible—even when the odds seem insurmountable. His journey serves as a beacon of hope for others navigating the treacherous waters of addiction.

Matthew’s Journey: From Darkness to Light

Matthew’s life was a tempest, a storm that threatened to drown him. As a child, anger clung to him like a shadow, and he struggled to find his place in a world that felt alien. But the universe had more trials in store for him.

At the tender age of six, Matthew lost his closest companion—the brother who shared secrets, laughter, and dreams. The void left behind was vast, an abyss that threatened to swallow him whole.

Yet fate wasn’t done with Matthew. At eight, he faced a horror no child should endure: molestation by a trusted family priest. Innocence shattered, trust fractured, he retreated into darkness.

Desperation drove him to seek solace in the forbidden embrace of alcohol and drugs. By twelve, he was already ensnared in their grip. The path he chose led him through four tumultuous decades—a journey marked by shattered dreams, fractured relationships, and the relentless pursuit of oblivion.

But within the chaos, a glimmer of hope emerged. Matthew discovered the 12 principles of a 12-step program—a lifeline thrown to a drowning soul. With unwavering determination, he clung to those principles, inching toward recovery.

Today, Matthew stands on solid ground. His life, once a tempest, now flows with purpose. He extends a hand to other recovering souls, sharing his battle scars and victories. In local detox centers, he weaves hope into the hearts of those still lost at sea.

Matthew wears many hats: a loving husband, a devoted father, a dutiful son, and a steadfast brother. His journey from darkness to light is a testament to resilience, redemption, and the power of community.

May his story inspire others—a beacon in the night, guiding them toward their own path of healing. 🌟

Amber serves as a peer support specialist at a recovery community organization and she serves on the South Carolina Harm Reduction Coalition Political Affairs committee. Harm Reduction is a health centered approach that focuses on public health and safety. Examples of harm reduction we use in everyday life can be a seat belt, hard hat, life jacket, and oxygen. Examples of harm reduction in the community of recovery and for people who use drugs can vary; it includes naloxone, fentanyl and xylazine testing strips, education on safer IV use, providing sterile supplies, and policy change. Harm Reduction is the practice of unconditional love for people who use drugs.

“My drug use began when I was in 8thgrade. I was the quite shy girl and I wanted to fit in. It started with alcohol, cigarettes, inhalants, and drug use games," says Amber. By the time she finished high school she was using everyday. Her dad was a local politician, her mom was going through breast cancer, and this was all in the eye of the public.

“Everything I was experiencing, my community knew about. It wasn’t a pretty divorce. My dad cheated on my mom, I felt abandoned and like I was not good enough for him to stay. I remember the exact moment that my use changed. After my parents sat me down to tell me that they were getting a divorce I went to my friends to process and talk about it, I did not like the way I was feeling so I left. After the news of my parents separation I started misusing my prescription medications and started to drink heavily, and eventually turned to illicit drugs.

In her early 20s she recognized she was “overdoing” her drug use, she says, “For so long I was telling myself I was young, having fun, and everyone was doing it. But everyone was not fighting, getting locked up, suicidal, running their friends over with their cars, yet I couldn’t identify as someone with a substance use disorder because of the way society painted that picture.”

She’s come to realize that this disorder does not discriminate, and recognize she needed to do something different, and decided the solution was to settle down, start a family and do what society expected.

“I ended up in a relationship with someone who shared a substance use disorder and down the line made the switch from stimulants, hallucinogens, and alcohol to opiates. I remember when I first tried an opiate, at the time my partner said it would be cheaper than a bar tab and that made perfect sense to me. We stayed in a relationship with each other for about 5 years and throughout our time together I became fully dependent on my partner. I couldn’t hold a job, I couldn’t pay for our responsibilities, and I couldn’t pay for our habit.”

At the end of her relationship her partner ended up leaving, and Amber was left with financial responsibilities, mental and emotional responsibilities, and a habit that she had to figure out how she was going to support. She introduced Amber to the methadone clinic because it was working for her.

Amber describes more of her journey:

In the beginning of my journey on MAT my intentions were not pure, it was essentially a safe supply. From 2015 to 2017 I was still engaging in stimulants and alcohol but stayed away from opiates. During this time period I was able to gain some things back, mostly my independence. I was working in service industry, which was not a healthy environment for me. At the end of 16 going into 17 I lost my job serving and bartending and went to work for my dad in construction. This gave me the accountability I needed. At the time I was living in a not so good neighborhood in a run down home.

I started my own cleaning business and was able to keep up with my responsibilities. In 2019 I started my mental health journey and was medicated. I moved into my own place by myself and the one friendship I had at the time ended. I was alone in this journey and that was hard. I heard about 12 step recovery before but never really tried it so I thought what the hell, it can go one of two ways; good or bad. It ended up being a good thing for me, I got that sense of community and felt heard and not so alone. I shared with this 12 step community that methadone was helping my recovery process, that did not go over well for me. I was shamed and told my recovery was not valid, that sucked and I felt isolated.  I did find a group of people who didn’t have this misunderstanding and I didn’t feel so alone again. I shared what happened  to me with a member and he asked me, what my intentions were on the medication, to be well or be high? The was profound to me because by that time my intentions were to be well.

I was still harassed and excluded by some members but shut them out, it still made a negative impact on my self worth and self acceptance but I stayed because that’s all that I knew was available and I still got some sense of community. I did always feel like I was an outcast. I stayed in the 12 step community from 2019 to 2023. As my role of peer support developed I came to understand substance use disorder and realized that there are multiple pathways to recovery.”

Today I have a relationship with my family, in my active use I was so angry and sad and did not care for a relationship with my dad. Today the relationship we have is better than it was before. I get to show up for my family, friends, and community. I’m ok with me! I’m ok to advocate for my mental and medical needs. I have a sense of peace and understanding – I’ve learned that things are not so black and white. I get to participate in community events and am part of something bigger than myself – a movement for people who use drugs to be seen and heard! Today I have hard conversations on stigmatizing subjects, I can understand both sides. I’m not afraid to speak up for the unspoken, the “discarded”, mistreated, and overlooked. I’ve turned some of my “defects” into assets, I use them to advocate for others! I’m proud of that!

My most significant achievement is my courage to speak out about my medication assisted treatment, specifically methadone. Something that is widely misunderstood and judged, some of the harshest critics are those in recovery.

Norman Ferris born and raised in upstate NY, and even though he considers his childhood a good one, he found himself very self-conscious, and a very sensitive person. Norman was a good athlete in high school and loved working with horses.

“My first drink qualified me as a drunk. Working with horses allowed me to drink. Drinking for oblivion, no rhyme or reason. It's just what I did. Isettled for less in all areas of my life and in time I did not like myself for what I had become, says Norman.”

In this episode Norman tells the story of a huge, unexpected change that came when he was 25 years sober. While he maintains change is a natural part of life and always occurring, this was a realization that transformed his life. Norman keeps the change occurring by being disciplined, which he says if the foundation of his sobriety.

He says, “I get up early, I shower, brush my teeth, eat healthy, wash my clothes make meetings because I hear the language of the heart. When you talk about you, I learn about me.”

Nansi is an outgoing person, so her soul that shines through her eyes. Without hearing her story, you would never understand the trials and tribulations she endured to make it to where she is today.

Nansi was in active addiction since she was 16. She started with alcohol, which so many assume is harmless, but that led to cocaine. She soon found herself sacrificing her innocence and chasing the high in trap houses - actively using until she was 47. The last decade consisted of meth and Fentanyl use. She used to live and lived to use. She abandoned her family and ended up alone and close to homeless by the time she found recovery.

In addiction, Nansi lived in the past of what it was like when she was a kid. It’s the only disease that convinces you that you don’t have a disease. It’s cunning, baffling, and powerful. Like too many people, substance use disorder had taken over Nansi’s life – that is, until one day when she found the inner strength to ask for help.

"Thank God for my family. One of the things that breaks my heart is that I was not always there for my family as much as I feel I should have been. I was really being driven by addiction. They supported me through my entire journey. It starts with surrendering. And the first thing in surrendering is asking somebody for help. Whatever that help is. And hopefully you get to a place that can offer the help you need. It’s worth it.”

Jessie Franklin is a beacon of recovery and resilience. He embodies resilience, compassion and unwavering commitment to recovery. Jessie's journey is one of triumph over adversity, and his purpose lies in guiding others toward healing and hope.

Jessie is a native of Lexington, South Carolina and the youngest of five children. He discovered his passion for sports early on, with basketball capturing his heart. It consumed his adolescent and teenage years, until a life-altering accident exposed him to narcotics, derailing his dreams of playing at the next level.

Surviving an overdose in January 2021 was a pivotal moment for Jessie. It opened his eyes, igniting a desperate willingness to discover his authentic self. Through suffering and self-awareness, he found purpose and resilience. As a father to a 5-year-old boy, Jessie's commitment extends beyond himself. His family members also walk the path of recovery. He draws strength from AA and embraces the principles of "all recovery."

As a Certified Peer Support Specialist, Jessie walks alongside those navigating their own paths to recovery from substance use disorder. His empathy and firsthand experience make him a a beacon of understanding and encouragement. He engages with local high schools as a public speaker, sharing his story and empowering young minds. He actively coaches and mentors young men, guiding them toward healthier, purposeful lives.

Jessie Franklin's story is one of courage, redemption, and unwavering dedication. His impact reverberates through the recovery community, reminding us all that healing is possible, even in the face of adversity.

Josh Bone was born and raised by his grandparents in Dallas, NC. He attended college at UNC Chapel Hill where he studied psychology and creative writing. Working in the bar and service industry, he began to struggle with alcoholism and addiction. After navigating over a decade of active addiction, he celebrates 7 years of sobriety April 27, 2024. He started his career in the recovery field in 2018 as a volunteer. He worked his way up the ranks from group facilitator and case management to successfully operating a large Intensive Outpatient Program and becoming a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor 1.

In 2019, Josh launched a campaign to create Anchor of Hope Sober Living through a GoFundMe account. Anchor of Hope Sober Living now consists of 27 sober living homes across the Charlotte and Matthews area in North Carolina serving over 180 residents, both men and women. Josh partnered with Ascend Recovery Centers in July of 2023 to begin the process of bringing quality and affordable care to the underserved population of Charlotte, NC. 

He is the father of 5 year old Lily Bone with a boy, Waylon Bone on the way in May 2024. He and Onalee Medlin currently reside in Charlotte just a few miles of Ascend, NC. Josh has made a life in recovery. From countless detoxes, jails and sober living communities, he is now a shining example of God’s amazing grace and mercy. His willingness to walk by faith is illustrated in the doors God has and continues to open in his recovery. 

This is a "storytelling" episode. You will hear Matty I speaking to a group of recovering addicts and alcoholics. In this 1/2 hour show listen to some of Matty's journey, with a focus on becoming the person you were meant to be and how he has been walking that path. He says, "Never say you can't do it, remember you just haven't done it yet. Become the person who cannot quit, who can say no to a toxic situation as well as remove toxic people from your life. Become the person always moving forward. The hardest step is the first step and it’s meant to make you feel uncomfortable because it takes you to a place that is unknown. With that first step you will in time overcome that fear of failure and that fear of success."

As Wayne Dyer said, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

In this conversation, Matty, Chris and Roger share their experiences and insights on overcoming challenges and achieving personal growth through mental toughness and self-improvement. They emphasized the importance of living in the present moment, embracing emotions, and cultivating gratitude. They discuss the role of stoicism and community, and through their stories, offer practical advice and inspiration for those seeking personal growth and recovery.

In this first episode of The Lose Control Podcast, host Matty I and good friend Chris Acciardo talk about some of their moments in life that were the lowest, yet they used those dark days as a means to turn life around. Listen in, we think you may hear your own story in ours.