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The Kinky Coffee Break

Pleasure Rebels

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Fréquence : 1 épisode/38j. Total Éps: 23

Listen in as I chat with special guests from the world of conscious sexuality and beyond. Some of the chats will be about kink, but it’s just as likely that we will be talking about a wide range of perspectives and lived experiences on exploring often hidden parts of ourselves, and finding different ways to be in connection. I’m Lex and I’m an embodiment-focused kink and sex educator supporting individuals and groups to explore the topics of sexuality, pleasure, intimacy, identity, relating, and power. Professionally trained as a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Embodied Facilitator, and Certified Dominatrix (among other things), a big focus of my work is around how kink - done consciously - can be used as a route to empowerment and us becoming whole, integrated humans.

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23. The hole and the human dildos with Dr Matt Kimberley and Dr Anthony Gifford

Épisode 23

samedi 3 octobre 2026 • Durée 01:07:54

We have a first for The Kinky Coffee Break - a threeway! I’m joined by not one but TWO special guests for this episode - Dr Matt Kimberley and Dr Anthony Gifford, who are here to chat with me about their research into cumdumps.

Now, before you listen, we invite you to note down what you think a cumdump is, and what your assumptions are around power dynamics and motivations. Then, at the end, reflect on where you think those ideas and assumptions originated from and how accurate they were.

Matt and Anthony have recently published their study of bi and gay men who identify as cumdumps and they look at this through the lens of pleasure, power, identity. It’s super refreshing and encouraging to see more research, similar to our episode on Pup Play with Dr Liam Wignall, that looks at kink through a positive lens rather as a form of pathology.

Their work focuses on this as a distinct sexual subculture, filling the holes (pun intended!) that are left when collective or group sex is seen as one amorphous thing. We get to learn what it is specifically about cumdumping that appeals to and benefits the bottoms, what it entails, and how they go about organising such an event. It’s a deeply fascinating conversation!

Dr Matt Kimberley (he/they) is a lecturer within the Department of Psychology and Counselling, where he leads the Gender, sexuality and intimate relationships research cluster. His own research broadly centres around sexual communication; fantasy and desire; sexual subcultural identity; and inequalities linked to sexuality or relationship diversity. This began with their PhD research at Staffordshire University which explored how factors specific to an individual’s relationship and fantasy content influenced decisions of whether to disclose a sexual fantasy or not.

Dr Anthony Gifford (he/him) is a psychologist and lecturer with broad interests in sexual health and wellbeing, particularly among marginalised populations. His PhD research examined the psychosocial influences on pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) uptake among men who have sex with men (MSM) in the UK, contributing to a deeper understanding of HIV prevention decision-making. He has also conducted research on HIV anxiety, sexual satisfaction, and diverse identity development. Working in collaboration with partners across the UK and internationally, Anthony is passionate about LGBTQ+ psychology and committed to emancipatory research that promotes equity, inclusion, and social betterment

The full article, ‘So, it’s like they’re a human dildo for me … ‘: exploring the experiences and motivations of individuals who identify as a ‘cumdump’ is available online here.

You can check out the rest of my kink-related work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

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22. Women Know Best (About Men's Sexuality) with Sian Johnson

Épisode 22

samedi 29 août 2026 • Durée 01:09:25

I invited the wonderful and wise Sian Johnson back to the podcast this month to hear how her views on working with men have changed (and why) in the last couple of years.

Sian and I spoke previously in episode 3: “Men Need Empowerment Too” which remains our most downloaded episode!

This time around, we talk about the patriarchy, performance, the manosphere, and why status won't really make you feel powerful. All on our way to describing why women are often best placed to work with men on empowerment and sexuality. There's a lot of ground covered here so buckle up, grab your brew, and get comfy!

Sian Johnson is a Sexologist, Men’s Sex & Intimacy Coach, educator and unapologetic explorer of pleasure, intimacy, kink, and human connection.

For more than a decade, Sian has worked at the places where sexuality, the body, relationships and personal transformation meet. Her work ranges from supporting men with sexual confidence, shame, erectile and ejaculatory difficulties, late virginity and intimacy, to teaching consent, embodied sexuality, Tantra and conscious kink.

She is a Certified Wheel of Consent® Facilitator, Sexological Bodyworker and the creator of The Sensara Method, her professional training for women practitioners who want to work skilfully, safely, and ethically with men’s sexuality and intimacy.

At the heart of all of Sian’s work is a simple belief: pleasure can be a catalyst for human transformation.

Find Sian online:

🌐 Website: https://sianjohnson.com

🎓 The Sensara Method: https://www.sianjohnson.com/thesensaramethod

21. Objectification with Dr Susan Lucas

Épisode 21

samedi 22 août 2026 • Durée 01:03:50

Join me as I indulge my sapiosexual side with a fascinating deep dive into the topic of Objectification.

Dr Susan Lucas helps us to look at Objectification through a philosophical lens and, in doing so, reveals some very interesting insights into why this can be so powerful to play with.

It's a rare delight that I meet someone who has thought so deeply about the way in which our kinks inform our sense of self, and it feels almost radical - yet incredibly important - to do so in today's attention economy.

Dr Susan Lucas was, until recently, Principal Lecturer and Subject Lead for Philosophy at the University of Lancashire. Her 30-year career as an academic philosopher focused particularly on the phenomenon of self-knowledge: what it is, how it is possible, and what the implications of our capacity for self-knowledge are for our relationships with others.

This work found expression in her book (as Peter Lucas), Ethics and Self-Knowledge: Respect for Self-Interpreting Agents (Springer, 2011), as well as in numerous academic articles. Much of her work on the ethics of self-knowledge centred around the phenomenon of sexual objectification, and a 2018 article on the sexual objectification of men, which was picked up by the national press, led to interviews on Radio 4 Women’s Hour and BBC TV.

Susan’s interpretation of objectification is informed by the work of radical feminist theorist Andrea Dworkin and the philosophical writings of J.W.F. Hegel, Jean-Paul Sartre and Michel Foucault. Nevertheless, she is experienced in presenting her ideas in a non-technical way to non-academic audiences.

In previous published work she stressed the negative aspects of sexual objectification, as a conduit for the embedding of ideological stereotypes, with harmful consequences for individual autonomy. However, she has recently become interested in the potential for positive engagement with objectifying experiences, drawing on her own experience as a transfemale in Queer kink settings.

You can check out the rest of my kink-related work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

20. Mind-melting Erotic Hypnosis with Imaginatrix

Épisode 20

samedi 18 juillet 2026 • Durée 01:08:42

This month, I’m joined on The Kinky Coffee Break by Hypno-Domme Imaginatrix to learn all about Erotic Hypnosis.

You’ll learn about how erotic hypnosis can have many different applications and flavours in a scene, how you’re probably already accessing elements of this and the trance states it induces, what a HFO is and why everybody wants one, and some of the things you need to consider if you are going to play with this in an ethical way.

I suggest you give this one a listen. You know you want to!

Imaginatrix - Trix for short - has a passion for Hypnotic Hedonism. Trix works full-time as a hypnotic content creator, Hypno-Domme, and BDSM educator. An eternal switch, her hunger for hypnosis is boundless, whether she's melting minds or being mesmerised.

She is a certified hypnotist trained in Integrative Hypnosis and Sexual Freedom Hypnosis® techniques, and co-organises the only regular Mind Play class in the UK. She makes up half of Mesmerotic, a hypnokink fetish video production company showing real hypnokink scenes, and brings her erotic hypnosis to Patreon and Loyalfans. She loves deep-diving into hypnotic technique and thinks hypnosis is an incredible tool for connection and pleasure.

The main link for Imaginatrix’s stuff is: http://hypnotichedonism.com. You can also get tranced by Trix on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/hypnohedonista find her at Kinkfest (where she’ll be teaching): https://fetlife.com/KinkFestUK and you can find awesome tees like the one Trix is wearing here at: https://hypnotic-hedonist.teemill.com/. You’ll have to do your own research to find the Hypnosis vs. F-machine clip we referenced… (sorry!)!

19. Yes, Daddy! The appeal of Big little dynamics with Bear Phillips

Saison 2 · Épisode 19

samedi 13 juin 2026 • Durée 52:44

We welcome Bear Phillips back to The Kinky Coffee Break for this episode on Big/little dynamics.

We cover quite some ground here, starting with what these dynamics are about and some of the common misconceptions around them. We discuss the benefits of age play for both the little and the Big, and what’s needed to support this kind of play in terms of skills, boundaries, and integration. I am very interested in this topic, so it was a delight to get into it with Bear.

Bear Phillips (he/ him) is a poly-sexual, polyamorous, and kinky-slut by night, and a trauma-informed bodyworker and a sex & love coach by day. In his coaching with men, he works with questions of masculinity and how patriarchy impacts our ability to have meaningful and authentic relationships.

Bear has been involved in various forms of therapy and personal development for more than half his life, having recently completed the *Compassionate Inquiry Professional Training* with Gabor Maté.

Edited by Bear Phillips & Ellie Rose, “DADDY!” The Healing Power of Big/little Play: An Anthology. On the transformative potential of inner-child work, role-play and conscious kink, is now available for Kindle here: https://amzn.eu/d/02OpxxJ4 or as a paperback here: https://amzn.eu/d/03SrCFwN. Enjoy!

You can find Bear at www.bearphillips.co.uk or substack: @bearphillips1 / bearphillips1.substack.com/. He’s also on IG: @bear_phillips / instagram.com/bear_phillips/ and FB: facebook.com/bearphillipsUK.

You can check out the rest of my work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

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18. Finding belonging in leather with DK Green

Épisode 18

dimanche 15 mars 2026 • Durée 48:03

I was definitely scratching an itch of my own curiosity this month when I invited DK Green to chat with me about the Leather Community!

DK gives us a peek into life as part of a leather family, including the dynamics and values that it's built around. From the subculture’s roots in gay community, we will hear what's changed and what's drawing a diverse range of people to leather today.

Pop the kettle on and buckle up for a lively and enticing conversation!

DK Green (AKA DK Leather) has been the head of the UK KRuel Leather Family since the nineties, the first non-gay-male leather family in the UK. He’s a Master, Owner, Daddy, Leather dominant, and a respected and well known (notorious) speaker and educator in this field. He’s also a polyamorous, shamanic, trans man!

Additionally he’s a respected/experienced Psychotherapist, supervisor, speaker, educator, author. Psychodynamic core integrative, holistic, national/international via Zoom. Serving GSRD communities (gender, sex, relationship diversities) aka LGBTQIA+, CNM (consensual non-monogamy), kink (BDSM/leather), tantra, sex work, & the intersectionalities of neurodiversity, disability/chronic illness, race & culture.

Links: http://linktr.ee/dkleather

Email: daddyk67@gmail.com

You can check out the rest of my work at https://www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels. For info on upcoming courses, workshops, and events, go to https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events

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17. The long journey of erotic discovery with Ali Pilling

Épisode 17

dimanche 15 février 2026 • Durée 54:22

This month, I’m joined on the podcast by the sexy polymath that is Alison Pilling to talk about the long journey of erotic discovery.

Ali shares what’s been helpful, what got in the way, and what advice she would go back and give to her younger self.

This was such an affirming conversation that is full of helpful insights for those of you who are seeking to discover more about yourself through exploring sexuality, just as much as those of you who are already years into your journey!

Alison Pilling is the creator and host of The Sex Lectures, as well as a mentor and teacher on the UK Sexological Bodywork training. She lives in Corfu where she’s transforming a former yoga bnb into something much less wholesome.

Growing up in a repressed Catholic household has had a lot to answer for and Ali is as surprised as anyone to find herself in this groundbreaking field. The good news from the other side of an erotic exploration is that reclaiming and expanding sexual expression is possible. However tricky, heartbreaking or exciting, it’s ultimately an expansion of the self and soul.

Ali may speak for many of us in feeling like we sense there's more out there, but we aren’t sure what. Discovering erotic and personal freedom allows us to begin to know more of who we are, what we want and how to ask for it. How do we get to define, feel and express what we want for ourselves? Exploring the answers to these questions, taking a chance gives us a chance of building a life full of connection, courage and choice.

Check out Ali’s work at: https://sexschoolforgrownups.com/ or find her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alison.pilling.5. The next Sex Lectures will be taking place on Monday 16th February in Manchester, UK and you can find details and tickets here: (I’m on the lineup to give a talk about The Privilege of Love!)

16. The most common issues in bondage with Christian Red

Épisode 16

dimanche 11 janvier 2026 • Durée 01:21:04

This month, we have our first returning guest on the podcast - Christian Red - to talk about the most common issues in bondage.

Shibari has exploded in popularity in recent years. And, whilst it’s great to see so many people exploring this as an art, form of intimacy, and technical challenge, it comes with some pretty significant risks that may not be obvious at first.

In true Christian style, this discussion - and the guide he has recently published on the topic - break the risks down in a way that is easy for even the most inexperienced kinkster to grasp. It’s a must-listen for anyone interested in bondage.

Christian is a rope/takedown teacher based in Nottingham who has been teaching since 2012. His focus as an educator is giving people tools and ideas to express themselves by breaking complex topics into simple ideas. Christian Red's involvement in the kink community has lasted 20 years so far. In recent years, he has taught at Prague Shibari, Athens Rope, Anatomie Studios, Rope On!, Rope Office Hours, String Fling, UKREX, and Oxford Peer Rope. He's also a regular guest teacher at The Kinky Classroom and will be running an Intro to Shibari ONLINE course starting 27th January 2026, which you can find at https://www.tickettailor.com/events/pleasurerebels/1987006 or check out all upcoming events, courses, and workshops at https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events

The free rope safety digital publication Knot Without Risk, which we reference throughout this episode is available in multiple languages: https://www.christian-red.co.uk/knotwithoutrisk

In addition to this, Christian has also released over 100 rope video tutorials and has been a frequent contributor to the online platform Shibari Study. Check out the Bondage Tuition channel on YouTube:

15. The Wheel of Consent® and kink with Dr Betty Martin

Épisode 15

dimanche 14 décembre 2025 • Durée 53:51

This month, we are joined by the pioneer that is Dr Betty Martin as we explore The Wheel of Consent. Betty shares how The Wheel originated in kink, how it’s both simple and very much not simple in practice, how it can give us insights into what’s happening in relationships, and the impact other forms of power have on how we negotiate. AND we both share how The Wheel can be a helpful way in to exploring D/s and power play. If your understanding of consent is as permission seeking and granting, then hopefully this episode will open your eyes to some of the depth and nuance that is often overlooked in the conversation. Dr. Betty Martin has had her hands on people professionally for over 40 years (some of it legal and some of it questionable) - 30 years of Chiropractic and other modalities, then later, 15 years of Somatic Sex Education and Surrogate Partner Therapy. Also Contact Improv and other kinds of play. She is the developer of the Wheel of Consent, a cutting edge model of receiving and giving, based on touch but amenable to non-touch practices as well. She is the author of The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent, and developed a 5-day training in the Wheel of Consent for practitioners, which took her around the world, and then trained others to teach it so she could retire. She currently mentors helping professionals, from psychotherapists to sex workers, and all stripes of hands-on practitioners. You can find Betty’s work (including plenty of FREE materials and her book) here: https://www.wheelofconsent.org/. For information on trainings related to the Wheel of Consent, visit the School of Consent: https://www.schoolofconsent.org/ You can check out the rest of my work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

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14. Pup play with Dr Liam Wignall

Épisode 14

dimanche 16 novembre 2025 • Durée 01:00:55

Join me and my special guest, Dr Liam Wignall, as we take a deep dive into the kinky subculture that is Pup Play.

You’ll learn what it enTAILS(!), who typically engages in this type of play, and some of the many benefits people say they get from immersing themselves in this world. We also touch upon academic research on kink more broadly, neurodivergence and kink, and lots more. This conversation definitely got my geeky brain going!

Dr Liam Wignall is a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Brighton. His research focuses on sexual identity, behaviours, and communities, with a primary focus on kinky sexual practices and subcultures - he has written about this in his book, Kinky in the Digital Age. He’s published over 30 academic articles on a range of topics related to sex and sexuality.

Liam’s book Kinky in the Digital Age can be found here. Use discount code ASPROMP8 to get 30% off (and, fellow geeks, this MAY work on other books on the Oxford University Press site, although we can’t guarantee this!)

You can find Liam’s research profile as well as links to his academic papers here: https://research.brighton.ac.uk/en/persons/liam-wignall/

Liam recommended that listeners/watchers read Gayle S. Rubin’s The Catacombs as a book that inspired him. You can find information on that here: https://read.dukeupress.edu/books/book/1560/chapter-abstract/173959/The-CatacombsA-Temple-of-the-Butthole?redirectedFrom=fulltext, and he also mentioned a resource for people interested in finding out more about Pup Play: https://www.pupplay.info/

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