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Ep 111 - The Open Sandwich Generation02 juil. 202600:16:22

You've heard of the sandwich generation — pressed between ageing parents above and growing children below, doing all the lifting.

But nobody's named what happens next.

When your parents have died. When your children have properly left home. When, for the first time since you were eighteen, you are not the support layer for anyone but yourself.

You're an open sandwich. And it is a stranger, lighter, and more disorienting phase of life than anyone tells you.

In this episode, Dan explores the freedom of the open sandwich generation — the giddy Wednesday afternoons on the coast, the guilty lightness of nobody needing you — alongside the quieter beats nobody warns you about: the grief that becomes weather, the strange new promotion to senior generation, and the moment you look around and realise you've quietly become the row at the front.

But the open sandwich is also a test. Freedom without structure isn't liberation — it's a vacuum. And the retirees who thrive at this stage don't feel only the lightness. They learn to hold both, on the same plate, on a Sunday morning, without flinching.

This is the episode that might make you look at the next decade of your life differently.

WHAT YOU'LL TAKE FROM THIS EPISODE

— Why the open sandwich generation is a distinct phase of life that deserves a name of its own
— The lightness that feels almost rude, and why you're allowed to enjoy it
— The grief that doesn't end — it just becomes the weather
— The strange new "promotion" to senior generation, and the moment you notice it
— Why freedom without structure is a vacuum, not a reward
— Three thoughts on how to compose the plate of your open sandwich decade
— Why the retirees who thrive learn to hold lightness and grief on the same plate

CHAPTERS

00:00 — The Sunday morning that feels almost rude
00:50 — Welcome to Humans vs Retirement
01:30 — The sandwich we all know, and what comes after
04:00 — The lightness that surprises you
07:00 — The grief that becomes weather
10:00 — The new row at the front
12:00 — The test inside the freedom
14:00 — Three thoughts, not five moves
17:00 — The composed plate
19:00 — Outro

THE LINE TO REMEMBER

"The lightness and the grief are not opposites. They share the plate."

LINKS AND RESOURCES

Read Dan's essay on the same theme on Substack: https://humansvsretirement.substack.com

Subscribe to The Retirement Fix newsletter: https://humansvsretirement.com

Connect with Dan on LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/danhaylett

Dan's book, The Retirement You Didn't See Coming, is available on Amazon.

IF THIS EPISODE LANDED FOR YOU

Share it with someone who's living in the open sandwich right now — a friend, a sibling, a colleague who's just watched their last child move out or their last parent go. That's how this work spreads.

And if you've got thirty seconds, leaving a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify makes a genuine difference to who finds the show next.

—

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It does not constitute regulated financial advice or a personal recommendation. Dan Haylett is a financial planner regulated by the FCA, but views expressed are his own.

Ep 110 - The Permission Paradox02 juin 202600:16:41

You've got the money. You've got the time. You've got the freedom. So why can't you actually enjoy it?

In this episode, I unpack the Permission Paradox! The reason financially secure retirees still order the cheap coffee, skip the trip, and quietly guard a fortune they'll never spend. It's not a money problem. It's a permission problem. And it's fixable.

FULL SHOW NOTES

Open your banking app. Look at the number. Now answer honestly: when did that number last get smaller because you actually enjoyed yourself?

Not the boiler. Not the tax bill. Not inflation. You — on purpose — spending money on something that made your life better.

If you can't think of a date, you don't have a money problem. You have a permission problem.

That's where this episode starts. And it goes somewhere you probably didn't expect.

What I cover:

The Trap — For forty years, your spending had structural alibis. The bonus paid for the holiday. The salary justified the car. The job title covered the nice restaurant. Retirement vaporises every one of those vouchers, and suddenly there's no external authority signing off on anything. Just you, your money, and a question you've never really had to answer before: Am I allowed?

Why You're Like This (Not Your Fault, Still Your Problem) — Three reasons. Four hundred years of Protestant work ethic quietly teaching you that unspent money is virtue performed in public. Four decades of training the saving muscle and ignoring the spending one. And the uncomfortable truth that a lot of high-net-worth retirees don't actually believe they deserve it. Imposter syndrome doesn't retire when you do. It just changes its uniform.

What's In The Vault — The fears keeping you from spending are almost always fog. "The future." "Care costs." "Inflation." "Something I haven't thought of." When you press on the fog with real numbers, it usually dissolves. You're not protecting against ruin. You're protecting against a story you inherited from people who genuinely did have to worry about the workhouse. You are not your grandfather. You are a millionaire, pretending to be a peasant. And the cost of that pretence is the entire second half of your life.

The Good News — The permission problem is a skill problem. Not a personality problem. Not a values problem. A skill. And skills can be learned. Dan shares what it looks like when people finally flip — and what the three permissions actually are that make it happen.

The Three Permissions — Permission to enjoy what you've built. Permission to spend the window (that active, healthy retirement window is twelve to fifteen years — not thirty). And permission to become someone new.

CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK

Do one thing this week that feels slightly uncomfortable. Order the proper coffee. Book the flight you've been talking about for two years. Pay for something for one of your kids without making a thing of it. Take a Wednesday afternoon off, from nothing. Buy the silly shoes.

Whatever it is — do it once. Notice the sky doesn't fall. Then do it again next week.

That's how the muscle gets built. One flat white at a time.

KEY QUOTE

"You are a millionaire, pretending to be a peasant. And the cost of the pretence is the entire second half of your life."

CONNECT WITH DAN

IF THIS EPISODE LANDED FOR YOU

Share it with someone who needs to hear it. That's how this work spreads.

And if you've got thirty seconds, leaving a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify makes a genuine difference to who finds the show next.

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It does not constitute regulated financial advice or a personal recommendation. Dan Haylett is a financial planner regulated by the FCA, but views expressed are his own.

Ep 109 - What You Lose When You Retire07 mai 202600:18:56

Retirement is sold to you as a gain event. Freedom. Time. Choice. The world is your oyster.

It is, in fact, one of the biggest loss events you will ever go through. And almost nobody warned you.

In this episode, I walk through what actually dies when you retire — the ten things that quietly come off in the first five years and that nobody puts in the brochure. Identity. Status. Mastery. Tribe. Structure. Progress. Stimulation. Purpose. Validation. The future tense itself.

But this isn't twenty minutes of doom. The second half of the episode is the gift: the five moves the people who genuinely flourish on the other side of retirement actually make. The moves that turn the second half of life into the most fulfilling, richest, most genuinely good chapter you'll ever have.

If you're heading into this transition, in it now, or watching someone you love go through it — this is the episode you'll wish someone had played you five years before you retired.

WHAT YOU'LL TAKE FROM THIS EPISODE

  • Why retirement is a loss event, not a gain event, and what nobody in the industry will tell you about it
  • The three reasons nobody warns you what's coming (and why the third is the most damaging)
  • What disenfranchised grief is, and why ignoring it costs you the second half of your life
  • The ten things that actually die when you retire
  • Why the spreadsheets are the easy bit
  • The five moves that separate the retirees who flourish from the ones who just survive
  • Why "spend it, or it will quietly spend you" might be the most important sentence in retirement planning

CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK

Sit down — on your own, or with your partner — and write down three things on a piece of paper. Three things you're quietly worried about losing. Or three things you've already lost without giving yourself permission to feel sad about. Don't fix them. Don't problem-solve them. Just name them.

LINKS AND RESOURCES

Subscribe to The Retirement Fix newsletter

Follow me over on YouTube

Connect with Dan on LinkedIn

Buy Dan's first book, The Retirement You Didn't See Coming

IF THIS EPISODE LANDED FOR YOU

Share it with someone who needs to hear it. A friend, a sibling, a colleague heading for the same cliff edge. That's how this work spreads.

And if you've got thirty seconds, leaving a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify makes a genuine difference to who finds the show next.

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It does not constitute regulated financial advice or a personal recommendation. Dan Haylett is a financial planner regulated by the FCA, but views expressed are his own.

Ep 108 - Have You Worked Too Long and Saved Too Much?16 avr. 202600:17:50
The episode where we say the unsayable

Everyone's worried about people not saving enough. That's the crisis. That's the narrative.

But there's another problem. One the financial industry almost never talks about.

Some of you did everything right — and it cost you everything that matters.

This week, Dan goes against the grain to talk about the people who optimised so well for the future that they destroyed their present. High earners. Diligent savers. Responsible, prudent, disciplined people who maxed out their pensions, lived below their means, and delayed gratification for decades.

And arrived at retirement with knackered knees, an empty marriage, and a body that can't do the things they saved up to do.

This one's for you.

What we cover

The David story — 68 years old, £1.2m in the bank, house paid off, income sorted. And filled with regret. Not because he failed. Because he succeeded too well — and worked until 66 when he could have stopped at 60.

The narrative that's been selling you a lie — Work hard. Save more. Sacrifice now for security later. That story made sense at 30. But if you're 55 with a bad back and a partner you barely know anymore, it stopped making sense a long time ago.

Why more isn't always better — There is a point of enough. Past it, every extra pound you save and every extra year you work is a net loss. Not financially. Holistically.

The health calculation nobody does — Your knees at 62 are not your knees at 70. Your energy at 58 is not your energy at 68. Every year you defer is a year you're spending an irreplaceable asset. You can't buy it back.

The relationship bill you're racking up — Your partner, your kids, your friends — they didn't pause while you worked. They adapted. They moved on. And you'll find that out when you finally stop.

Six questions to ask yourself right now — Are you staying "just to be safe" when the numbers say you're already fine? Are you mistaking fear for responsibility? Do you even know your enough number?

The line that hits hardest

"You're not banking time. You're spending it."

If this episode is for you

You might be past enough if:

  • The numbers work but you're still saying "just one more year"
  • Your health is declining from stress but leaving feels wrong
  • You're on track to die with more money than you'll ever use
  • You've been saying "when I retire, I'll..." for five years and never pulled the trigger
The challenge

Look at your actual numbers. Not your fears — your numbers. If you're already at enough, stop. Just stop.

You've already won. Now stop playing.

Links & resources

Humans vs Retirement is hosted by Dan Haylett of TFP Financial Planning. This podcast is for information and educational purposes only and does not constitute regulated financial advice.

Ep 107 - Your 12 Good Years27 mars 202600:12:57
Your 12 Good Years

What if the most important number in retirement isn't your pension pot — it's 12?

Not 30 years. Not 25. Twelve. That's roughly how many genuinely good, healthy, fully-capable years the average 60-year-old has before energy, mobility, and independence start to meaningfully decline.

And if your retirement plan doesn't account for that? You're planning for the wrong version of your life.

In this episode, I cut through the comfortable retirement myths and get brutally honest about the years that actually matter — and why so many people waste them being careful.

What We Cover

The data nobody wants to hear — UK healthy life expectancy figures tell a very different story to the headline numbers. Life expectancy and healthy life expectancy are not the same thing, and the gap between them should change everything about how you plan.

What "good years" actually means — In your 60s and early 70s, you're still fundamentally capable. You can travel, be spontaneous, and start something new. Then, gradually, things shift. This isn't pessimism. It's biology — and ignoring it is expensive.

The trap of deferral — Most people spend the first decade of retirement living exactly as they did in the last decade of work: carefully. The habits that built the nest egg are now quietly destroying the retirement. Your 60s are not a rehearsal for your 80s. They're the main event.

The front-loading argument — Dan makes the case for front-loading your experiences, energy, and ambition in early retirement — not necessarily your spending. And why a pound spent at 65 on something memorable is worth more than a pound saved at 85 that you're too frail to use.

The maths that matters — 12 good years is 4,380 days. How many of those do you want to spend waiting for a 'right time' that keeps not arriving?

The question that makes people uncomfortable — What are you actually saving for? And if you're financially secure but still living like you're bracing for catastrophe, what was it all for?

Key Takeaway

The people who get retirement wrong are almost never the ones who run out of money. They're the ones who run out of time. Don't spend your good years preparing for your declining ones.

This Week's Challenge

What's the one thing you've been deferring that you need to do in the next 12 months? What are you actually waiting for? Drop it in the comments, send Dan a message, or tell someone you trust.

Resources & Links

If this episode landed for you, share it with someone who needs to hear it.

Ep 106 - Why You're Wasting Your Time Worrying About Running Out of Money10 mars 202600:22:12

Buy My Book

The Retirement You Didn't See Coming

Let's Chat About Your Retirement Plans

Book a time for us to talk

Episode Description

You're probably not going to run out of money in retirement. Most retirees still have 80% of their savings after 20 years. Couples withdraw just 2.1% annually—half the "safe" rate. Yet 48% of UK retirees are terrified. You're spending your retirement living small to protect against a disaster that's probably not coming.

The Brutal Truth

After 20 years in retirement, most retirees have 80% of their savings remaining. One-third have higher balances than when they started. Couples spend just 2% annually—the 4% rule says they could spend twice that.

The "45% will run out" headlines? Computer models assuming robotic behavior. Real humans adapt. 65% would simply spend less in a downturn.

The data is clear: Most people die with most of their money intact.

Why You're Wired to Worry
  • Evolution: Your brain is hardwired to hoard. It kept ancestors alive but makes you miserable.
  • Loss aversion: Losing money feels twice as painful as gaining it.
  • No paycheck: Every pound spent feels permanent, not renewable.
  • Unknown lifespan: You plan for 105 even though the odds are vanishingly small.

You're using Stone Age software for a modern problem.

The Tragic Irony

You saved for freedom and security. But fear makes you say no to everything—the trip, helping grandchildren, the nice restaurant.

You end up living small, carefully, anxiously. You're experiencing the exact financial stress you spent 40 years trying to avoid.

The money grows. You age. The window closes. Experiences slip away.

Then you die with most of it still in the bank.

That worry didn't protect you. The disaster never came.

What to Do About It
  1. Get a real financial plan - Numbers kill anxiety
  2. Reframe spending - It's not loss, it's use. It's why you saved
  3. Treat withdrawals as income - Not "dipping into" savings—it's your paycheck
  4. Build flexibility - Spend more in your 60s-70s, less in your 80s naturally
  5. Practice spending - Start small. Notice the anxiety. Do it anyway
  6. Measure differently - Success = did I live fully? Not how much is left
The Bottom Line

What if the thing you're most afraid of is the thing least likely to happen?

You're worrying about a problem that's not coming while ignoring the one that is:

Time is running out. Your health is declining. The window is closing.

Stop worrying about running out of money. Start worrying about running out of time.

Challenge: What would you do if you knew you weren't going to run out?

Humans vs Retirement - Where data meets messy reality.

Ep 105 - The Parent's Dilemma: Your Retirement vs Their Future25 févr. 202600:16:00

Buy My Book

The Retirement You Didn't See Coming

Let's Chat About Your Retirement Plans

Book a time for us to talk

Episode Description

You've worked hard to build your nest egg. Now your adult children are struggling in a brutal housing market, drowning in debt, and navigating unstable careers. You want to help—but how much is too much? Will you enable dependence? Rob them of resilience? And what about your own retirement security? This episode tackles the question every parent wrestles with, but nobody wants to say out loud: should you sacrifice your retirement to help your kids? We explore the competing pressures, the frameworks for thinking it through, and the practical questions that will help you find your answer—without the guilt.

Why This Is So Hard

This question sits at the intersection of love, money, values, and generational change. You're feeling competing pressures:

  1. You want to help - They're entering a harder world: housing costs, debt, unstable jobs
  2. You don't want to enable dependence - You want them resilient, not reliant
  3. You've earned this money - You delayed gratification for decades. You want to enjoy it
  4. The inheritance question looms - IHT planning, fairness, timing—give now or later?

Everyone has an opinion. Your friends do it differently. Society sends mixed messages. You're stuck in limbo.

Four Frameworks for Thinking This Through

Framework 1: Support vs. Rescue

Support: House deposit in an impossible market. Health insurance during job transition. Education that opens doors.

Rescue: Repeatedly bailing out credit card debt. Funding an unaffordable lifestyle. Solving problems they need to learn to solve.

Ask: "Is this help moving them toward independence or keeping them stuck?"

Framework 2: Timing—Now vs. Later

Give now: They benefit when they need it most (30s-40s). You see the impact. Potential IHT savings. You can guide usage.

Wait: Maintain security. Unknown future needs (healthcare, care costs). Flexibility if circumstances change.

The truth: Most people never regret helping when they had the means. Many regret waiting too long.

Framework 3: Equity vs. Need

Equal feels fair. Need-based feels compassionate.

One child struggles financially. Another thrives. One chose meaningful but lower-paying work. One has health issues.

Both approaches can work. Transparency tends to avoid resentment.

Framework 4: The Oxygen Mask Principle

Your first obligation: secure your own retirement.

If you give away too much and run out, you become their burden anyway. Most adult children don't want that.

The question isn't "Can we afford to help?" It's "Can we afford to help without jeopardizing our own security?"

Six Practical Questions to Ask Yourself

1. What values do we want to pass on? Independence? Family solidarity? Generosity? Different values = different decisions.

2. What did our parents do, and how do we feel about it? Your experience shapes your instincts—for better or worse. Sometimes we repeat patterns. Sometimes we overcorrect.

3. What do our children actually need vs. want? Have honest conversations. "What are the biggest barriers you're facing?" You might be surprised.

4. What are we comfortable with, emotionally? Forget "should." What can you live with? If helping makes you anxious, that anxiety poisons the gift.

5. What's our plan if they ask for more? Jobs are lost. Relationships end. Health issues arise. Do you have boundaries? Can you say no?

6. How do we communicate this? Clear communication avoids misunderstanding. Tell them your plans. Be honest. Your kids aren't mind readers.

The Bottom Line

There's no perfect answer. No formula. No rulebook.

Some families give generously and strengthen bonds. Some create entitlement. Some don't give at all, and kids thrive. Some kids feel abandoned.

It depends on the people, context, values, and communication.

The worst thing you can do? Avoid the conversation. With your partner. Your planner. Your children.

When money and family mix, silence breeds assumption. Assumption breeds resentment.

Give yourself permission to set boundaries. You're not a bad parent if you say no. You're not selfish if you prioritise your security. You're not weak if you help.

You're just human, navigating a complicated situation with love.

Loving your children and taking care of yourself are not mutually exclusive.

Humans vs Retirement - The messy, emotional, human side of retirement.

Why Small Problems Feel HUGE In Retirement19 févr. 202600:13:16

Buy My Book

The Retirement You Didn't See Coming

Let's Chat About Your Retirement Plans

Book a time for us to talk

Episode Description

You spent 30-40 years solving major crises. Now you're retired with total freedom, yet you're standing in your kitchen, heart racing, furious because the dishwasher isn't loaded correctly. Why does a misplaced set of keys feel like a military crisis? You have less pressure but feel more wound up than ever. If this sounds familiar, you're not crazy—you're suffering from "Redundant Brain" syndrome. This episode reveals why high-achievers struggle with trivial problems in retirement and gives you a three-step blueprint to fix them.

The Problem: Your Brain Is Redundant

For decades, your brain solved "Capital P" Problems—sales targets, mergers, logistical nightmares. These gave you competence hits and made you feel necessary.

Then you retired. Those big problems vanished overnight.

Your brain won't power down—it goes looking for work. Since the big problems are gone, it magnifies "little p" problems into full-blown crises.

The Three Black Holes

Work filled three massive voids. When you retire, they open up and your brain scrambles to fill them with anxiety.

Void #1: The Structure Void

  • Your schedule was automated: commute, meeting, lunch, deadline
  • Now? Infinite empty calendar = decision fatigue
  • Your brain creates missions from what's in front of it—a bank queue becomes the "Mission of the Day"

Void #2: The Identity Void

  • "What do you do?" had a clear answer: Director, GP, Engineer
  • Now you're "Former Someone"
  • Your brain over-performs on small tasks to prove worth: the barbecue becomes a military operation

Void #3: The Social Connection Void

  • Work provided effortless connection (even moaning about the boss)
  • Retirement severs that—you're socially starved
  • Your threat-detection goes haywire: neighbour doesn't wave = "They hate you"
The Solution: Give Your Brain a New Job Description

Don't tell yourself to "just relax." That's like telling a border collie to chill in a field of sheep—it'll chew the furniture.

Step 1: Design Purposeful Anchors

Schedule non-negotiable appointments with yourself:

  • Physical Anchor: "I walk at 8 AM, rain or shine"
  • Mental Anchor: "Tuesday & Thursday mornings: Learn Spanish" (feed the beast)
  • Social Anchor: "Lunch with John, every Wednesday"

These aren't hobbies—they're the scaffolding of your new life.

Step 2: Shrink the Task

When "Clean the Garage" feels like Everest, your Redundant Brain has turned it into a monster.

Shrink it:

  1. Walk to garage
  2. Set timer for 15 minutes
  3. Pick up ONE item

Reframe the burden into tiny victories. Give your brain the dopamine hit it craves.

Step 3: The Worry Meeting

When a worry pops up at 10 AM: "Good point. We'll discuss at the 4:30 PM meeting." Jot it down.

At 4:30, sit for 15 minutes and catastrophize. When the timer goes off, the meeting is over.

Most "crises" from 10 AM seem silly by 4:30. You're taking back control.

The Bottom Line

That overwhelmed feeling isn't a sign you're failing at retirement. It's a sign you have a high-performance engine that's just idling.

You spent a career honing discipline, resilience, and problem-solving. Those skills didn't vanish. Use them to build your anchors, shrink the tasks, and manage the worry.

You've crossed the finish line. Now enjoy the prize.

Ep 103 - The Emotional Price Tag of Retirement12 févr. 202600:25:40

You've saved for decades. The spreadsheet says you're fine. So why can't you book that trip to Italy? Why does buying nice coffee feel wrong? This isn't a financial problem—it's an emotional one. And it's incredibly common.

What We Cover

Money Scripts: The Invisible Backpack

  • "There will never be enough"
  • "Money is shameful / Rich people are bad"
  • "I don't deserve nice things"

The challenge: You've trained for 40 years to accumulate. Now you need to distribute. Your brain hasn't caught up.

The Big Three Emotional Blocks

  1. Scarcity Mindset - Tom has £1.8M but won't spend more than £45K/year. The fear isn't rational—it's hardwired.

  2. Guilt & Permission - Margaret: retired teacher, £1M saved, felt physically sick before her dream cruise. Guilt steals joy.

  3. Identity Loss - David: "I don't know what the money is for anymore." When money was proof you mattered, retirement is existential.

Five Ways to Break Free
  1. Name it, trace it - Where did this belief come from? Does it serve you now?

  2. Practice spending - Start small. Buy the nicer coffee. Try a "guilt-free spending account." Retrain your brain.

  3. Reframe it - You're not spending down savings. You're converting savings into life.

  4. Separate worth from wallet - Your value isn't your net worth. Would you judge your loved ones for enjoying retirement?

  5. Talk about it - Money emotions thrive in silence. Get help if you need it.

The Bottom Line

The difference between anxious wealthy retirees and fulfilled modest ones? Not the account balance. The internal relationship with money.

You're not broken. You're carrying old programming that doesn't fit your new reality.

Share your story: What money emotions are you carrying into retirement?

Humans vs Retirement Podcast - The messy, human side of retirement your financial advisor isn't covering.

Ep 102 - Why your brain is hardwired to fail at retirement04 févr. 202600:15:56
Episode Description

Your brain has spent decades as a corporate drug addict, getting its dopamine fix from deadlines, presentations, and feeling important. But when you retire, the dealer cuts you off—cold turkey. This episode explores the neuroscience behind why retirement can feel so devastating, and what you can actually do about it before you clock out for the last time.

Key Topics Covered

The Great Retirement Myth

  • Why the "golden ticket" narrative sets us up for disappointment
  • The deafening silence after the leaving party
  • Understanding retirement as a form of grief

The Science Behind the Emptiness

  • Dopamine withdrawal: When the "pings" stop coming
  • Cognitive decline after retirement (Whitehall II study findings)
  • Loss of identity and social tribe
  • Why your brain is "use it or lose it"

The Five-Act Drama of Quitting Work

  1. The Run-Up: Excitement mixed with anxiety
  2. The Honeymoon: The world's longest bank holiday
  3. The 'Oh, Bugger' Phase: When freedom feels empty
  4. The Re-Build: The hard graft of reinvention
  5. The New Normal: Finding your rhythm

Rewiring Your Brain for a Decent Retirement

Three essential pillars to build before you retire:

Pillar One: Stop Being a Noun, Start Doing Some Verbs

  • Redefining yourself beyond your job title
  • The "I am..." exercise (10 non-work identities)
  • Setting achievable goals for dopamine hits

Pillar Two: Build Yourself a Tribe

  • Finding your "Third Place" (beyond home and work)
  • Scheduling social connections like board meetings
  • Why social connection predicts longevity

Pillar Three: Find a New Rhythm

  • Creating a keystone routine to anchor your day
  • The art of tinkering: trying things without pressure
  • Finding purpose through engagement, not grand passion
Key Takeaways
  • Retirement isn't just a lifestyle change—it's a neurological shock to your system
  • The psychological adjustment is as important as financial planning, yet we ignore it completely
  • Feeling lost or irrelevant after retirement isn't a personal failing—it's a predictable human reaction
  • Your brain needs structure, achievement, and social connection to thrive
  • Retirement is a "lifequake" that can clear the ground for a stronger, more authentic version of yourself
Research Mentioned
  • Whitehall II study on cognitive decline and retirement
  • The "use it or lose it" principle of brain function
  • Cognitive reserve theory
  • The concept of "Third Places" in sociology
Action Items for Listeners
  1. Complete the "I am..." exercise (10 non-work identities)
  2. Identify your potential "Third Place"
  3. Create one keystone routine to anchor your day
  4. Schedule social connections deliberately
  5. Start "tinkering" with new activities and interests
Join the Conversation

Share in the comments: What's one thing you're planning for—or anxious about—for your own retirement?

Humans vs Retirement Podcast Subscribe for more deep dives into the psychology of life's biggest transitions.

Ep 101 - Why Your Perfect Retirement Can Feel So Wrong28 janv. 202600:22:20
Why Your "Perfect" Retirement Feels So Wrong

You did everything right.
Saved hard. Invested well. Ticked every box.

So why does retirement feel… off?

In this episode, I unpack the uncomfortable truth nobody talks about: retirement can feel psychologically harder than work, even when the money's sorted. Not because you failed, but because you were never given the emotional or mental roadmap for what comes next.

We dig into the five hidden psychological traps that quietly derail retirement, and more importantly, what actually helps you navigate them.

In this episode, we cover:
  • Why losing your job title can feel like losing yourself

  • What happens when a problem-solving brain suddenly has nothing meaningful to solve

  • Why the "endless holiday" version of retirement wears thin fast

  • The silent pressure to perform a perfect retirement, and why it's exhausting

  • How a lifetime of saving can make spending feel terrifying, even when you're financially secure

You'll also learn:
  • How to rebuild your identity around who you are, not what you used to do

  • Why your brain needs purpose, not just rest

  • How to design a flexible routine that gives freedom without drift

  • How to let go of guilt, busyness, and comparison

  • And how to create real permission to spend without anxiety or second-guessing

This episode isn't about fixing retirement.

It's about understanding it, so you stop wondering "What's wrong with me?" and start building a life that actually fits.

Free Resource

If this episode hit a nerve, I've created a free one-page Purpose Finder guide to help you get clarity on what you want this next chapter to be about.

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Ep 100 - What 100 Episodes Taught Me About Retirement... And About Being Human12 déc. 202500:13:39

After 100 episodes of diving into the messy, hilarious, emotional and utterly human world of retirement, I return with the rawest and most powerful episode yet. This milestone isn't a celebration; it's a challenge. A wake-up call. A bold invitation to stop drifting, stop delaying, stop hiding behind old identities… and finally step into the second half of life with honesty, courage, and intention.

This episode strips retirement down to what it really is: not money, not timing, not spreadsheets, but the ongoing evolution of you. Who you are when the job title disappears. Who do you dare to become next? And what you're no longer willing to tolerate in the life you have left.

What You'll Learn
  • The biggest insight 100 episodes have revealed about human beings and retirement

  • Why retirement isn't actually about retirement, it's about identity

  • The hidden question sitting under nearly every conversation I have ever had

  • Why most people drift through the second half of life instead of designing it

  • How self-honesty becomes the true starting line of retirement

  • Why courage, not money, is the single biggest predictor of a fulfilling future

  • What it really means to write the next chapter of your life on purpose

Challenge of the Week

👉 Answer the only question that truly matters:

What are you no longer willing to tolerate in the second half of your life?

Write it down.
Say it out loud.
Let it change something.

Because that answer is your starting line, your compass, your invitation to evolve.

Next Episode

Season 7 begins soon — with a fresh blend of interviews, solo episodes, and deeper dives into the emotional, behavioural, and wildly human side of retirement. Expect honesty, humour, science, challenge… and more than a few loving kicks up the backside.

Ep 99 - How to Retire Well in 2026: The 5 Key Areas to Get Right03 déc. 202500:13:28

If you want to retire well in 2026, you don't need a ten-year spreadsheet, a suitcase full of pensions, or a perfectly colour-coded life plan. You need five human foundations: clarity around your money, health that actually supports your freedom, purpose that wakes you up in the morning, people you want in your corner, and the courage to take action.

In this episode, I strip away the fluff and break down what actually moves the needle... the things your future self will thank you for getting right now, not "one day."

What You'll Learn
  • Why your "vibes-based" retirement plan needs to become a real plan

  • How financial clarity — not wealth — creates confidence and choice

  • Why health is the core engine of your next chapter (not a side quest)

  • How to explore purpose without pretending golf is a personality

  • The huge role relationships play in your retirement experience

  • Why courage — not spreadsheets — is the final unlock

The 5 Things That Matter

1️⃣ The Money Plan (not the one in your head)
You don't retire on vibes — you retire on numbers, clarity, and confidence.
Know what you've got, how it's structured, and what it can actually do.

2️⃣ Your Health (so you can enjoy the freedom you've worked for)
No point having time and money if you're exhausted, aching, or stuck on the sofa.
Small, consistent actions → big retirement quality.

3️⃣ Purpose (you need something to wake up for)
Work gave you identity, rhythm, and direction.
Retirement requires you to create it — not wait for it to appear.

4️⃣ Relationships (your real retirement portfolio)
Remove work, and the room gets quiet fast.
Build connection intentionally: tribes, friendships, laughter, people who energise you.

5️⃣ Courage (the part no one likes to talk about)
Fear keeps people in holding patterns: waiting for "readiness," waiting for a sign.
Confidence doesn't precede action — it comes from it.

Challenge of the Week

👉 Pick one of the five pillars and make a visible move.

  • Book the financial planning call

  • Start a consistent walk routine

  • Try a new hobby or project you've always avoided

  • Message someone you miss and reconnect

  • Commit to one brave retirement decision you've been postponing

Don't wait for certainty. Do the human thing that moves life forward.

S6 Ep 98 - The New Rules of Retirement19 nov. 202500:10:35

In the season finale, I tear up the traditional retirement rulebook and replace it with a bold, human, and rebellious manifesto for the second half of life. The old rules — work 40 years, aim for "enough," play it safe, slow down — were never designed for modern retirees who want meaning, energy, experiences, connection, and agency.

This episode lays out The New Rules of Retirement — ten powerful principles for anyone who refuses to drift through retirement and instead wants to design it boldly, live it fully, and leave a legacy that's felt as much as it's funded. This is your encore… so make it loud.

What You'll Learn
  • Why the old retirement rules are outdated, limiting, and designed for a different era

  • Ten modern, human-first principles for living boldly after work

  • Why retirement isn't the end — it's the starting line

  • How to prioritise time, meaning, purpose, and memory dividends over fear and preservation

  • Why confidence comes before clarity, and flexibility beats perfection

  • The truth about retirement as an emotional journey, not just a financial event

  • How to shape a legacy through impact, stories, and how you live — not just what you leave

Challenge of the Week

👉 Write your own new retirement rule.
Just one. Something that becomes a north star for how you want to live the next chapter.

Examples:

  • "I spend without guilt when it brings me joy."

  • "My time is my greatest asset."

  • "I will not shrink my life to fit someone else's expectations."

  • "I choose connection over busyness."

  • "The second half of my life will be better than the first."

Write it. Repeat it. Live it.

Resources & Mentions Final Note

This episode wraps Season 6, a season dedicated to human-first retirement, emotional truth, and challenging the defaults. If these conversations have sparked anything in you, share them with someone who needs a more rebellious, honest, and liberating view of retirement.

S6 Ep 97 - Are You Solving The Wrong Retirement Problem?12 nov. 202500:10:53

Most financial planning conversations in retirement are 90% about money, but most retirees spend 90% of their time thinking about life. That's the Retirement Focus Ratio, and it's completely out of sync.

In this episode, I challenge the industry obsession with spreadsheets and show why the real success of retirement isn't built in Excel, but in how you live, spend, and find meaning after work. You'll discover how to rebalance your focus from money to life, and why the best retirement plans aren't about preserving wealth; they're about unleashing it to create joy, connection, and purpose.

What You'll Learn
  • Why retirement planning often solves the wrong problem

  • The disconnect between financial advice and emotional reality

  • How to flip your Retirement Focus Ratio from 90% money / 10% life to 50/50 (or better)

  • The key steps to building a life-led retirement plan

  • How money becomes more meaningful when it supports purpose

  • Why you can't measure joy in basis points, but you can design for it

Challenge of the Week

👉 Audit your own Retirement Focus Ratio.

Ask yourself:

  • How much of my energy is focused on money vs life?

  • What would go in my "Retirement Life Plan"?

  • What's one step I could take to shift the balance?

Then take action:

  • Book a call to talk about legacy

  • Write your ideal week

  • Start a "Life List" — not a bucket list

The goal isn't to ignore THE money. It's to elevate THE life.

Next Episode

Coming up in Episode 12 — the grand finale of Season 6:
The New Rules of Retirement (For Rebels Only)

A bold manifesto for those who refuse to drift through retirement, and want to design, live, and leave a legacy on their own terms.

S6 Ep 96 - Why Your Brain Isn't Built for Retirement: Modern Software, Ancient Hardware!05 nov. 202500:12:55

Retirement is a modern invention, but your brain didn't get the upgrade. In this episode, I unpack why so many retirees feel restless, guilty, or underwhelmed, even when life looks "perfect on paper." It's not because something is wrong with you, it's because you're trying to run a 21st-century life on Stone Age wiring.

I explore the mismatch between modern retirement and ancient survival instincts, why you struggle to relax, why doing nothing feels uncomfortable, why spending feels risky, and why your brain craves purpose, progress and tribe. Most importantly, I share how to retrain your mind for this new chapter, without fighting your biology.

What You'll Learn
  • Why retirement feels unsettling (and why it's not your fault)

  • The clash between modern freedom and caveman brain wiring

  • How dopamine, productivity and survival instincts mess with your retirement mindset

  • Why your brain resists rest, spending and stillness

  • Five ways to "upgrade the software" — from micro-missions to novelty, contribution and healthy discomfort

  • How to feel useful, alive and excited again in retirement

Challenge of the Week

👉 Pick one "Brain Upgrade" and try it for 7 days:

  • Set a Micro Mission (e.g. walk 10k steps daily, plan a trip, finish a book)

  • Add Novelty — try something new for 30 minutes a day

  • Create Contribution — teach, help, give or mentor someone

  • Introduce Healthy Discomfort — cold shower, tech-free evening, social challenge

At the end of the week ask:
How did it feel? What did it teach me about what my brain needs?

Resources & Mentions
  • Micro Missions, Contribution Loops & Novelty Windows — My behavioural retirement tools

Next Episode

Episode 11 — The Retirement Focus Ratio: Are You Solving the Wrong Problem?
Why most retirement plans are 90% about money… but most retiree worries are 90% about life. And how to fix the imbalance.

The Emotional Whirlwind of Retirement (and How to Survive It)29 oct. 202500:12:41

Retirement isn't a finish line; it's an emotional rollercoaster. In this episode, I break the myth of the "happily ever after" retirement and introduce The Retirement Reinvention Curve — an honest, human map of what really happens when the work stops and life after work begins.

From the initial shock and elation to the frustration, doubt, and eventual flourishing, I unpack the eight emotional stages we all go through when redefining identity, purpose, and meaning beyond the job title. This isn't about pensions or spreadsheets, it's about becoming who you are next.

What You'll Learn
  • Why retirement isn't a single event but a psychological transformation

  • The 3 phases and 8 stages of The Retirement Reinvention Curve

  • How to recognise where you are, and why nothing is "wrong" with you

  • The real reason traditional retirement advice skips the emotional work

  • Practical ways to move through frustration and doubt toward purpose and joy

  • Why rebuilding your identity takes time, curiosity, and compassion

Challenge of the Week

👉 Draw your own Retirement Reinvention Curve.

Sketch a simple line from left to right — no artistic skills required.
Then mark:

  • Where you've been

  • Where you are now

  • Where you want to go next

Write one sentence for each stage you've experienced:
"What did it feel like? What did it teach me?"
Then ask:
"What does my next phase need from me?"

Because awareness is the first step to reinvention.

Resources & Mentions
  • The Retirement Reinvention Curve — My framework for navigating the emotional journey after work.

Next Episode

Coming up in Episode 10:
Modern Software, Ancient Hardware

Why your brain wasn't built for retirement, and how to trick it into thriving in a world without structure, deadlines, or dopamine hits from work.

S6 Ep 94 - Tax, Death and Rock 'n' Roll22 oct. 202500:10:43

Tax. Death. Legacy. Three words that make most people squirm, but avoiding them doesn't make them go away. In this unapologetically bold and surprisingly uplifting episode, I turn the "taboo trifecta" into a conversation about freedom, meaning, and going out with style.

You'll learn how to make tax and inheritance planning feel less like a funeral march and more like an encore. Because facing the end isn't morbid, it's empowering. And when you deal with your legacy intentionally, you stop hoarding, start living, and find your encore energy.

What You'll Learn
  • Why avoiding tax and death planning just creates chaos for the people you love

  • Smart, simple ways to reduce tax without making life smaller

  • Why trying to pay zero tax can actually limit your freedom

  • The five essentials of facing mortality like a grown-up (and a rockstar)

  • Why legacy is about memories, not just money

  • How to turn your final chapter into something worth celebrating

Challenge of the Week

👉 Complete one "Rock 'n' Roll Legacy Task."

Pick one:

  • Update your will

  • Create or add to your Death File (accounts, wishes, passwords, etc.)

  • Book a review of your tax and inheritance plan

  • Write a letter to your future heirs

  • Plan a Memory Dividend event — a trip, gathering, or moment you'll fund with joy

You don't have to finish everything. Just start. 

Because the ultimate act of love isn't what you leave behind, it's the clarity you leave people with.

Resources & Mentions
  • The Death File — Dan's "love on paper" concept for legacy admin

  • Memory Dividends — Inspired by Bill Perkins' Die With Zero

Next Episode

Coming up in Episode 9:
The Retirement Reinvention Curve: The Emotional Sh*tstorm You Didn't See Coming

We'll unpack the real emotional rollercoaster of retirement, from the initial high to the inevitable dip, and explore how to rebuild and reignite your sense of purpose, identity, and joy.

S6 Ep 93 - Your Retirement Plan is a Lie (But You Still Need One)15 oct. 202500:11:26

Most people treat retirement planning like an Olympic sport, building spreadsheets, forecasting returns, and trying to engineer certainty in a world that's anything but certain. But here's the truth: no plan survives contact with real life.

In this episode, I unpack why traditional retirement plans often do more harm than good,  creating false security, stifling adaptability, and ignoring the human side of money. You'll learn why the best retirement plan isn't a fixed prediction, but a living process that evolves with you. Because the plan isn't the point... You are.

What You'll Learn
  • Why most traditional retirement plans fail (and how they create false security)

  • The difference between planning and plans, and why adaptability wins every time

  • The 5 elements of a Living Plan that actually work in the real world

  • How to balance numbers with meaning and flexibility with confidence

  • The question every retiree should ask: "Is my plan protecting me, or preventing me from living?"

Challenge of the Week

👉 Audit your plan — or your mindset about planning.

Ask yourself:

  • Is my plan giving me clarity, confidence, and control, or just false certainty?

  • Where am I clinging to a version of the future that no longer fits?

  • What's one thing I could loosen, update, or rethink to make my plan feel more alive and aligned with who I am today?

You don't need to tear it up. Just tune it up, so it becomes a compass, not a cage.

Resources & Mentions
  • Quote: James Clear — "You don't rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems."

  • The Living Plan Framework: values-led, flexible, regularly refreshed, guardrails-based, emotionally supportive

Next Episode

Coming up in Episode 8: Tax, Death, and Rock 'n' Roll

Yes, we're going there. I dive into tax planning, inheritance, and legacy design… but without the doom and gloom. Expect honesty, humour, and a fresh take on how to make your final chapter feel meaningful... not morbid.

S6 Ep 92 - Retirement Income Isn't About Products... It's About Permission08 oct. 202500:13:14

Most retirees believe the key to a successful income strategy lies in the products — specifically, the right pension wrapper, withdrawal rate, or investment mix. But here's the truth: it's not about products at all. It's about permission.

In this episode, I challenge the obsession with spreadsheets and simulations, revealing why confidence to spend doesn't come from perfect plans — it comes from understanding, repetition, and emotional safety. You'll discover the Permission Pyramid, the secret behind guardrails-based freedom, and why your financial plan should feel like permission to live, not a restriction on joy.

What You'll Learn
  • Why most retirees don't need better products — they need better permission

  • The myth that spreadsheets create confidence

  • The three levels of the Permission Pyramid: Numbers Clarity, Emotional Confidence, Behavioural Permission

  • How guardrails create freedom (not restriction) in your income strategy

  • The real role of a retirement plan — to give you permission to live well

  • Three key questions to help you feel confident spending your income

Challenge of the Week

👉 Write your own Retirement Spending Permission Slip.

Literally. Write it down and make it visible.

"I, [your name], give myself permission to spend money in retirement that:

  • aligns with my values
  • fits within my plan

  • creates joy, meaning, and memories

  • honours the work I did to earn it

  • and supports the life I want now — not just a future I might never meet."

Stick it on the fridge. Make it your phone background. Repeat it until it feels real.

Resources & Mentions
  • The Permission Pyramid — My 3-level model for income confidence

  • Guardrails-Based Spending — freedom within boundaries

Next Episode

Coming up in Episode 7: Your Retirement Plan Is a Lie (But You Still Need One)

We'll explore why traditional financial plans often give false security, what happens when life refuses to behave, and how to design a living, breathing plan that adapts as you do.

S6 Ep 91 - The Skill No One Taught You - Spending Money!01 oct. 202500:12:08

You've worked hard. Saved smart. Invested wisely. You've built a life where money is no longer the problem. But here's the awkward truth: spending it freely, without guilt, hesitation, or second-guessing, is the part no one prepared you for.

In this episode, I unpack why so many retirees struggle to permit themselves to spend, where that scarcity mindset comes from, and how to start using money to create joy, connection, and memory dividends. Saving was your superpower. Spending is your next skill.

What You'll Learn
  • Why spending in retirement isn't a maths problem, it's a psychological one

  • The "permission gap" and why most retirees hesitate to enjoy what they've saved

  • How money guilt shows up (and why you're not alone in feeling it)

  • The hidden costs of under-spending... memories, experiences, and lost joy

  • What "good spending" really looks like: values, memory dividends, and well-being

  • Practical tools, from guardrails to pre-spending permission slips, to help you spend with confidence

Challenge of the Week

👉 Plan one guilt-free spend, and do it.

  • Not research it.

  • Not think about it.

  • Not ask five friends if it's sensible.

Just spend. Choose something that creates a memory, feels indulgent, and is true to you. Then, when that little voice says, "Should I really?" — answer, "Yes. Future Me will thank me."

Resources & Mentions
  • Schroders UK Retirement Study (2022): On retirees struggling to spend freely

  • Bill Perkins, Die With Zero — The principle of converting money into meaningful life experiences

  • Retirement planning tools like Guardrails, Bucket Planning, and Spending Statements

Next Episode

Coming up in Episode 6:
Retirement Income Isn't About Products — It's About Permission
We'll explore why true confidence to spend comes from psychology, not portfolio returns, and how your retirement income strategy should feel like freedom, not fear.

S6 Ep 90 - Time Isn't What You Think It Is24 sept. 202500:12:30

Retirement isn't about how much time you have; it's about how much time you feel. In this episode, I dive into one of the most misunderstood aspects of life after work: time perception. From brain science to everyday challenges, I uncover why retirement can sometimes feel like a blur and how you can make the most of your time, stretch it, and truly enrich it.

What You'll Learn
  • Why your brain experiences time differently once work ends

  • The science of time compression (and why some days vanish while others feel full)

  • How "Memory Dividends" can transform your retirement years

  • The three biggest retirement time traps, and how to avoid them

  • Why time isn't linear but psychological, and how that changes everything

  • How to redefine what "a good use of time" really means in retirement

Challenge of the Week

👉 Design your Ideal Day

  • Grab a notepad (or open Notes on your phone)

  • Write out your perfect Tuesday in retirement: when you wake, who you're with, what you do, what you eat, where you are

  • Then bring one small part of that ideal day into your life this week

Resources & Mentions
  • Dr. David Eagleman – Neuroscientist and author on time perception

  • Bill Perkins, Die With Zero – Explore the idea of "Memory Dividends"

  • Previous episodes of Humans vs Retirement on purpose, identity, and designing life after work

Next Episode

Stay tuned for Episode 5: The Skill No One Taught You — Spending Money.

I'll explore why retirees struggle to permit themselves to spend, how scarcity creeps in even when you have "enough," and what it takes to break free and truly enjoy your wealth.

S6 Ep 89 -The Five Pillars of Retirement Well-Being17 sept. 202500:12:21

Most people retire with a solid income plan but no plan for a life they actually want to live. In this episode, I discuss the five human pillars that make retirement feel meaningful, not just financially viable: Purpose, Identity, Relationships, Structure, and Well-being. Expect punchy stories, research-backed insights, and practical prompts to start building a life worth funding.

What you'll learn
  • Why money ≠ meaning in retirement, and how outcomes beat incomes.

  • The Five Pillars framework (Purpose, Identity, Relationships, Structure, Well-being) and how each one stabilises your next chapter.

  • The hidden risk of identity loss after the job title disappears, and two better questions to ask yourself now.

  • Why too much unstructured time can feel like freedom that turns to fog, and simple ways to add rhythm without losing flexibility.

  • The science bits (in plain English):

    • Only 27% of retirees report feeling very fulfilled day-to-day (Stanford Center on Longevity).

    • A strong sense of purpose links to a 15% lower risk of death (JAMA Psychiatry).

    • The Harvard Adult Development Study shows close relationships are the biggest predictor of long-term happiness.

    • 1 in 4 experience mild to moderate depression post-retirement—often due to lost meaning, routine, and social contact (NHS).

Challenge of the Week

Score yourself 1–10 on each pillar: Purpose, Identity, Relationships, Structure, Well-being.
Pick the lowest score and do one tiny action this week to move it up by one point (e.g., book coffee with a friend, start a 15-minute morning walk, schedule a creative hour, message someone to mentor). Small moves → big momentum.

Resources & links

Mentioned research (as cited in the episode):

  • Stanford Center on Longevity — fulfilment in retirement

  • JAMA Psychiatry (2020) — purpose & mortality risk

  • Harvard Study of Adult Development — relationships & happiness

  • NHS guidance/statistics — mental health in later life

  • Want more? Connect with me on LinkedIn and share your Challenge of the Week answers.

  • Buy my book The Retirement You Didn't See Coming

  • Book a time for us to chat about your retirement plans

Next episode

"The Skill No One Taught You: Spending Money." We'll get into guilt, scarcity, freedom, joy, and why many retirees have more than enough yet still struggle to spend with confidence.

S6 Ep 88 - The Past Built You. Your Future Needs You!10 sept. 202500:13:04

In this episode of The Humans vs. Retirement Podcast, I delve into one of the most disorienting aspects of life after work: identity.

For decades, we've answered the question "Who are you?" with a job title. Director. Manager. Teacher. Lawyer. And then retirement hits — and suddenly, the title is gone. What's left is often a quiet identity crisis no one warned us about.

This episode, The Past Built You. Your Future Needs You explores why losing a role feels like losing yourself and how to begin rebuilding an identity that's deeper, freer, and far more authentic than anything you had before.

What You'll Learn in This Episode
  • Why so many retirees experience role-based identity collapse.

  • The hidden danger of achievement addiction, and why productivity isn't the same as value.

  • How identity is not fixed, but a story you tell yourself (and why that's good news).

  • Three powerful shifts to rebuild identity in retirement:

    1. From Role → Values

    2. From Productivity → Contribution

    3. From Legacy → Aliveness

  • Why staying stuck in nostalgia is one of the biggest risks in retirement.

  • How to introduce yourself without your past job title — and why this simple exercise is so transformative.

Challenge of the Week

👉 Introduce yourself without using your past job title.

Try it out loud. Then create an "I am" list:

  • I am someone who makes people laugh.

  • I am someone who listens deeply.

  • I am someone who's figuring it out, and that's okay.

This is how identity is rebuilt: one sentence at a time.

Resources & Links

📖 Dr. Bruce Feiler — Life Is in the Transitions (on identity as fluid, not fixed).

📚 Research: Journal of Gerontological Psychology (2021) — 50% of retirees feel identity loss within the first 12 months.

👉 Share your "I am" list with me on LinkedIn or in your journal, whichever feels right.

👉 Want more? Connect with me on LinkedIn and share your Challenge of the Week answers.

👉 Buy my book The Retirement You Didn't See Coming

👉 Book a time for us to chat about your retirement plans

Next Episode

Up next: The Five Pillars of Retirement Well-Being (That No One Told You About) — unpacking purpose, identity, relationships, structure, and well-being, and why most people accidentally neglect all five after they retire.

S6 Ep 87 - Retirement Isn't The Goal, It's The Starting Line03 sept. 202500:15:04

Welcome back to Humans vs Retirement! Season 6 kicks off with something brand new — no guests, no panels, just me, the mic, and the unfiltered truth about retirement.

In this episode, I tackle one of the biggest myths of all: that retirement is the finish line. Spoiler alert — it's not. Retirement is the starting line of an entirely new chapter, and one that comes with as many emotional and psychological hurdles as financial ones.

From the collapse of structure and identity, to the massive gap between our healthspan and lifespan, I explore why retirement isn't about winding down — it's about gearing up for your next act.

You'll also get this week's Challenge of the Week: a practical exercise to help you shift from "retiring from" to "retiring to."

What You'll Learn in This Episode
  • Why the glossy brochure version of retirement is a dangerous myth.

  • The difference between lifespan and healthspan — and why it matters more than you think.

  • How retirement strips away routine, identity, and purpose (and why no one warns you about it).

  • The 4 phases of retirement (and why most people get stuck in the messy middle).

  • The most important question you can ask yourself before — and after — retiring.

  • A powerful reframe: retirement as a threshold, launchpad, and second mountain.

  • This week's Challenge of the Week: Write your new job description as CEO of Your Own Life.

Resources & Links

📚 Dr. Riley Moynes — The 4 Phases of Retirement (featured in Episode 78).

💡 Bill Perkins (2020) — Die With Zero (on memory dividends).

👉 Want more? Connect with me on LinkedIn and share your Challenge of the Week answers.

👉 Buy my book The Retirement You Didn't See Coming

👉 Book a time for us to chat about your retirement plans

Next Episode

Up next: Past Built You. Future Needs You — exploring identity collapse in retirement and how to rebuild a stronger, truer self without your job title.

Ep 86 - Living Between Chapters with Toni Petrillo22 juil. 202500:59:43

In this deeply insightful and refreshingly honest conversation, I sit down with retirement coach and former financial services executive Toni Petrillo, founder of Retire with Intention. We explore the emotional complexities and personal transformations that often define life after full-time work, diving into the hidden challenges retirees face, particularly around identity, relationships, and what Toni calls the "messy middle." From evolving partnership dynamics to redefining self-worth and navigating the in-between, this episode offers both practical wisdom and warm reassurance for anyone feeling unsettled in retirement.

What You'll Learn
  • Why a solid financial plan isn't enough, and what you need instead

  • The concept of "retiring with intention" and how to do it well

  • How relationship dynamics shift after work ends (and how to prepare)

  • The danger of rushing through retirement's "messy middle"

  • Tools and exercises to rediscover identity, purpose, and self

  • Why curiosity and honest self-reflection are underrated retirement superpowers

  • The real reason so many retirees feel lost, even when everything looks great on paper

Key Topics
  • Toni's journey from financial executive to retirement coach

  • Letting go of your business card and your professional identity

  • The new relationship rules for life post-career

  • Setting boundaries with adult children and grandchildren

  • Rebuilding your relationship with yourself in retirement

  • Understanding and embracing the "messy middle" of post-work life

  • Designing a retirement based on your individual AND shared vision

  • The power of pausing, experimenting, and reflecting

  • The underestimated emotional labour of retiring

  • Why permission, especially to feel, pause, and evolve, is everything

Resources & Mentions

Stay Connected

Want more thought-provoking conversations like this one?

  • Subscribe to Humans vs Retirement on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts
  • Visit humansvsretirement.com for tools, downloads, and insights

  • Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it; you might just save them (and their family) from future chaos.

  • Download for free my whitepaper - The Skill of Spending Money in Retirement
  • Connect with me on LinkedIn for more insights and updates.

  • Subscribe to my weekly newsletter - The Retirement Fix
  • Leave us a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review if this episode helped shift your perspective! It helps spread the word.

Ep 85 - Find Your Voice: Podcasting as Purpose with Matt Halloran11 juil. 202501:05:12

In this powerful and entertaining episode, I'm delighted to be joined by podcasting legend Matt Halloran, co-founder of ProudMouth. Together, we explore why podcasting isn't just a tool for business; it's a deeply human medium that offers purpose, connection, and even legacy in retirement.

Whether you're a financial planner looking to build trust with your audience or you're approaching retirement and searching for a creative outlet to share your story, this episode is packed with insight, humour, and encouragement. From storytelling to encore careers, legacy creation to building an ecosystem around your voice, this one goes beyond the mic.

What You'll Learn
  • Why podcasting is the perfect pursuit for your second half of life

  • How telling your story can create a real connection and leave a lasting legacy

  • The simple tools and mindset needed to launch a podcast, even in retirement

  • How podcasting can transform how financial advisers build trust and attract clients

  • Why "giving away your wisdom" isn't bad business, it's great business

  • The 4-part formula for powerful content: storytelling, education, entertainment, and call-to-action

Key Topics Covered
  • My journey into podcasting and how Matt helped spark it

  • The evolution of podcasting: from radio tapes to legacy libraries

  • Podcasting as therapy, storytelling, and a vehicle for human connection

  • How retirees can use podcasting to reinvent themselves post-career

  • The magic of interviewing clients, friends, and family

  • Building a podcast around your encore career or consultancy

  • Using voice to build trust and deepen client relationships

  • Pitfalls to avoid when starting and how to play the long game

  • Why being proud of your voice is the first step to being heard

Resources & Mentions

Stay Connected

Want more thought-provoking conversations like this one?

  • Subscribe to Humans vs Retirement on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts
  • Visit humansvsretirement.com for tools, downloads, and insights

  • Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it; you might just save them (and their family) from future chaos.

  • Download for free my whitepaper - The Skill of Spending Money in Retirement
  • Connect with me on LinkedIn for more insights and updates.

  • Subscribe to my weekly newsletter - The Retirement Fix
  • Leave us a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review if this episode helped shift your perspective! It helps spread the word.

 

Ep 84 - Solving the Retirement Income Puzzle with Dr. Jeff Brown27 juin 202501:04:57

In this episode, I had the privilege to sit down with world-renowned economist Dr. Jeff Brown to explore one of retirement's most misunderstood tools, annuities. But this isn't your typical dry financial chat.

Together, we unpack why guaranteed income might be the key to unlocking joy, confidence, and peace of mind in retirement.

With a perfect blend of behavioural science, practical wisdom, and a few sporting analogies thrown in for good measure, this conversation tackles the emotional and psychological dimensions of spending in retirement.

If you've ever thought annuities were boring or unnecessary, this episode might just change your mind (and your future).

What You'll Learn
  • Why most people don't buy annuities, and why that might be a huge mistake

  • The "under-annuitisation puzzle" and what it reveals about human behaviour

  • How guaranteed income permits retirees to spend with confidence

  • Why planning to "live to 90" is a dangerous oversimplification

  • The impact of cognitive decline on financial decision-making

  • How framing retirement as a complex human problem changes everything

  • Innovative policy ideas and product designs that could change the retirement game

Key Topics
  • Lifetime income vs lump sum: the psychology behind the choice

  • Framing effects: how a few words can change your retirement plan

  • Complexity theory in financial planning

  • The power of defaults and nudges in retirement decisions

  • Emotional burden of wealth vs income in later life

  • The link between guaranteed income and happiness in retirement

  • The decline of cognitive ability and how annuities can provide protection

  • The role of tech and AI in the future of retirement advice

Resources & Mentions

Stay Connected

Want more thought-provoking conversations like this one?

  • Subscribe to Humans vs Retirement on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts
  • Visit humansvsretirement.com for tools, downloads, and insights

  • Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it; you might just save them (and their family) from future chaos.

  • Download for free my whitepaper - The Skill of Spending Money in Retirement
  • Connect with me on LinkedIn for more insights and updates.

  • Subscribe to my weekly newsletter - The Retirement Fix
  • Leave us a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review if this episode helped shift your perspective! It helps spread the word.

Ep 83 - The 7 Pillars of Aging Responsibly with Tony Taylor18 juin 202500:59:01

In this energising and heartfelt episode, I'm joined by Tony Taylor, a retired entrepreneur turned healthy ageing coach, functional medicine practitioner, and the creator of the 7 Pillars of Ageing Responsibly. After facing the retirement cliff edge head-on, Tony rebuilt his life with purpose, resilience, and a relentless curiosity. Together, we explore what it really means to age well in today's world, beyond the money talk and the small, intentional choices that lead to a longer, stronger, more connected life.

What You'll Learn:
  • Why retirement often starts with confusion, not celebration

  • How to build your own "power hour" to set up each day with intention

  • The vital difference between lifespan and healthspan

  • How to avoid the three silent killers of retirement: complacency, disconnection, and loss of purpose

  • Why strength training, sleep, and curiosity may be more important than your pension pot

  • The overlooked power of cross-generational relationships

  • What resilience really means, and how to build it at any age

Key Topics Covered:
  • Tony's personal story: from business owner to active ageing advocate

  • The cliff-edge effect of retirement and how to navigate it

  • The 7 Pillars of Ageing Responsibly:

    1. Sleep

    2. Resilience

    3. Purpose

    4. Complacency

    5. Strength

    6. Curiosity

    7. Connection

  • How to rethink your day-to-day structure in retirement

  • Why men need to do a better job of building social connections

  • Cold showers, olive oil, and "shopping bag carries" as unlikely tools for longevity

  • Why mindset is the ultimate muscle to train

Resources & Mentions:

Stay Connected:

Want more thought-provoking conversations like this one?

  • Subscribe to Humans vs Retirement on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts
  • Visit humansvsretirement.com for tools, downloads, and insights

  • Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it, you might just save them (and their family) from future chaos.

  • Download for free my whitepaper - The Skill of Spending Money in Retirement
  • Connect with me on LinkedIn for more insights and updates.

  • Subscribe to my weekly newsletter - The Retirement Fix
  • Leave us a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review if this episode helped shift your perspective! It really helps spread the word.

Ep 82 - Why You Should Write a Book in Retirement with Helen Wilkie06 juin 202500:54:57


In this inspiring and thought-provoking episode of Humans vs Retirement, I sit down with The Executive Book Coach, Helen Wilkie to explore why retirement may be the ideal moment to write the book you've always dreamed of. From memoirs to how-to guides, legacy to creativity, Helen shares practical insights and soulful encouragement for anyone curious about turning lived experience into lasting written impact. Whether you're scribbling down notes already or just entertaining the idea, this episode is for you.

What You'll Learn

  • Why retirement can be the most powerful time to write a book

  • The difference between a book being your legacy vs holding your legacy

  • How the writing process helps you rediscover purpose, identity, and structure

  • The most common obstacles that stop people from starting and how to overcome them

  • The importance of editing, time-blocking, and defining your "why" before writing

  • How ghostwriting and book coaching work (and why it's not cheating)

Key Topics

  • Creativity in the second half of life

  • How to write a book after retirement

  • Purpose and identity beyond work

  • Memoirs, business books, and other nonfiction options

  • Fear, self-doubt, and imposter syndrome

  • Writing as an experience, not a task

  • Turning vague ideas into a finished manuscript

  • Legacy, storytelling, and honouring your life

Resources & Mentions

Stay Connected

Want more thought-provoking conversations like this one?

  • Subscribe to Humans vs Retirement on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts
  • Visit humansvsretirement.com for tools, downloads, and insights

  • Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it, you might just save them (and their family) from future chaos.

  • Download for free my whitepaper - The Skill of Spending Money in Retirement
  • Connect with me on LinkedIn for more insights and updates.

  • Subscribe to my weekly newsletter - The Retirement Fix
  • Leave us a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review if this episode helped shift your perspective! It really helps spread the word.

Ep 81 - Who Will Get My Money When I Die? with Stuart Ritchie29 mai 202501:11:08

In this eye-opening conversation, I sit down with Stuart Ritchie, chartered tax advisor, estate planning expert, and author of Who Will Get My Money When I Die, to explore one of the most emotional and misunderstood aspects of later-life financial planning: inheritance tax.

This episode isn't about doom and gloom, it's about taking control. Whether you're planning for your own legacy, thinking about your children's future, or simply want to make sure the government doesn't get more than its fair share, this is a must-listen.

What You'll Learn
  • Why inheritance tax is about more than just money, it's about clarity, fairness, and family harmony

  • The critical role of wills and why DIY ones often cause more harm than good

  • What lasting power of attorney actually does and why it's vital even if you're married

  • How to avoid common traps when it comes to gifting, trusts, and tax bills

  • Why talking to your family before you die might be the greatest gift you give them

Key Topics
  • Wills and the rules of intestacy: what really happens if you don't plan

  • The psychology of leaving a legacy: control, conflict, and clarity

  • Power of Attorney: the two types and the risks of not setting one up

  • Blended families, second marriages, and planning with complexity in mind

  • Lifetime gifting and the 7-year rule explained

  • Life assurance, pensions, and the new inheritance tax reforms

  • The emotional and practical costs of poor estate planning

Resources & Mentions Reflection Exercise "What do I want to happen to my money, my possessions, and my responsibilities after I'm gone?"

Take 15 minutes today to reflect on this question. If you were to pass away tomorrow:

  • Do you have a valid will in place?

  • Have you named executors and powers of attorney you trust?

  • Have you had conversations with those closest to you about your wishes?

  • Do you know the potential tax implications of your estate?

Clarity now brings peace later, for you and everyone you love.

Stay Connected

Want more thought-provoking conversations like this one?

  • Subscribe to Humans vs Retirement on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts
  • Visit humansvsretirement.com for tools, downloads, and insights

  • Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it—you might just save them (and their family) from future chaos.

  • Download for free my whitepaper - The Skill of Spending Money in Retirement
  • Connect with me on LinkedIn for more insights and updates.

  • Subscribe to my weekly newsletter - The Retirement Fix
  • Leave us a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review if this episode helped shift your perspective! It really helps spread the word.

 

Ep 80 - The 10 Commandments of Retirement with Fritz Gilbert07 mai 202501:04:03

What really matters in retirement? After the spreadsheets are done, the portfolio's in place, and the paycheque has stopped, what's left?

In this powerful and deeply human conversation, I sit down with Fritz Gilbert, author of Keys to a Successful Retirement and founder of The Retirement Manifesto, to explore the non-financial side of life after work. We dive into the real questions: How do you stay fulfilled? Where do you find purpose? And how do you avoid the emotional pitfalls so many retirees never see coming?

Fritz shares his "10 Commandments of Retirement", a personal code he created before stepping away from corporate life and how each one has guided his journey. From "Make No Obligations" to "Keep Eternity in Mind," these principles offer a practical, heartfelt framework for anyone who wants to retire with intention, freedom, and joy.

What You'll Learn
  • Why mindset matters more than money in retirement

  • How to create your own guiding principles for life after work

  • The 90/10 Rule: Why most people focus on the wrong things before retiring

  • How Fritz skipped the "retirement depression" so many experience

  • Why giving yourself space and grace in your first year can change everything

  • How to find (or rediscover) your purpose in the second half of life

  • The surprising power of legacy, contribution, and shared purpose

Key Topics Discussed
  • Fritz's "10 Commandments of Retirement" and how they've held up over time

  • The emotional challenges many retirees face and how to prepare for them

  • What it means to shift from saving to spending, from doing to being

  • The founding story of Freedom for Fido and how it brought deeper meaning to retirement

  • The role of mindset, curiosity, and experimentation in building a rich post-career life

  • Why "retirement planning" must include much more than your finances

  • How to craft your own post-career mission, values, and personal compass

Resources & Mentions Your Next Step

Want to retire well?

Start by writing your own commandments. Define your values, your purpose, and what a great life looks like before you leave work.

Let's Keep the Conversation Going
  • Follow & connect with Fritz: LinkedIn

  • Subscribe to Humans vs Retirement on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts

  • Connect with Dan: LinkedIn

  • Leave us a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review if this episode helped shift your perspective!

Ep 79 - What Will I Do All Day? with Patrice Jenkins25 avr. 202501:04:48

In this uplifting and thought-provoking episode, I sit down with Patrice Jenkins, author of What Will I Do All Day?, to explore the real heart of retirement beyond financial plans.

Together, we dig into why retirement is not simply about staying busy, but about rediscovering meaning, purpose, identity, and joy.

Patrice shares insights from her decades of counseling and interviews with retirees, offering a compassionate, practical guide to navigating the messy, magical transition into post-career life.

What You Will Learn
  • Why financial readiness alone doesn't guarantee a happy retirement.

  • The emotional stages of transitioning into retirement and why patience is crucial.

  • How to rediscover passions, build social portfolios, and embrace "space."

  • Why successful retirements often include a form of meaningful "work."

  • How to avoid the trap of being "busy but unfulfilled."

  • Simple frameworks to plan your next two years, not just your next thirty.

Key Topics Discussed
  • The difference between hiding out and holding out when nearing retirement.

  • The importance of purpose, agency, and intention in retirement planning.

  • Why internal validation matters more than external praise after leaving work.

  • How relationships - spouses, adult children, friendships - evolve post-retirement.

  • Embracing play, experimentation, and curiosity in later life.

  • Strategies to transition through the inevitable "messy middle" of change.

  • How to think differently about work as part of a fulfilling retirement.

Resources Mentioned Memorable Quotes "Retirement is not about keeping busy. It's about living meaningfully and purposefully every day." — Patrice Jenkins "Work gave you structure, identity, and purpose — but your next chapter can too. It just takes intention." — Patrice Jenkins "Perhaps work kept you so busy that you forgot what you used to love. It's time to remember." — Patrice Jenkins "You don't have to figure out your whole retirement — just the next two years." — Dan A Takeaway Exercise

The 'What Lit You Up?' Reflection

Grab a pen and a notebook. Reflect and jot down:

  • What activities made you lose track of time when you were 10 years old?

  • What hobbies or interests did you abandon during your working years?

  • What would you do with a free afternoon if no one was watching?

Circle one that sparks excitement and design a small experiment to try it out in the next two weeks!

A Final Thought

Retirement isn't the end of the story, it's the beginning of a new one.

The key isn't to stay busy; it's to stay true. Stay curious. Stay purposeful.

Whether you're months away from retirement or years in, there's always an opportunity to dream, to experiment, and to build a life you're excited to wake up to.

Stay Connected

If you enjoyed this episode, please:

  • Subscribe to The Humans vs Retirement Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts

  • Leave a rating and review, it really helps!

  • Share this episode with someone who's thinking about (or struggling with) their retirement journey.

  • Download for free my whitepaper - The Skill of Spending Money in Retirement
  • Follow me on LinkedIn for more insights and updates.

  • Subscribe to my weekly newsletter - The Retirement Fix
The Four Phases of Retirement with Dr. Riley Moynes01 avr. 202500:52:58
Summary

In this powerful and insightful episode, I sit down with Dr. Riley Moynes, author, speaker, and creator of the viral TED Talk on "The Four Phases of Retirement," which has amassed nearly 5 million views. Together, we unpack why retirement is far more of a human problem than a financial one, and why so many retirees struggle despite having "enough" money.

Riley shares the emotional, psychological, and personal transitions that retirees face and offers an actionable framework to help listeners navigate their post-work lives more meaningfully.

What You Will Learn
  • The Four Phases of Retirement and why most people will experience them.

  • Why retirement is not just a financial challenge but a deeply human one.

  • The common emotional and psychological struggles retirees face.

  • How retirees can proactively prepare for the non-financial aspects of retirement.

  • The importance of purpose, identity, relationships, and service to others in retirement.

  • How to avoid becoming a "statistic" in retirement dissatisfaction.

Key Topics Discussed
  • Dr. Riley Moynes' personal career journey and how he developed the Four Phases of Retirement.

  • Why traditional financial services fail to prepare people for the real challenges of retirement.

  • A deep dive into each of the Four Phases:

    1. The Vacation Phase – The early, carefree, "holiday" phase of retirement.

    2. The Loss and Lost Phase – The period of disillusionment marked by loss of purpose, identity, relationships, and routine.

    3. The Trial and Error Phase – The experimental stage of trying new activities, facing failures, and re-finding purpose.

    4. The Reinvent and Rewire Phase – The fulfilling phase where retirees give back, often through service, and thrive with renewed purpose.

  • The emotional impact of retirement and why depression, divorce, and dissatisfaction spike for many retirees.

  • The predictable pattern of retirement struggles and why awareness is key.

  • Why simple joys and purposeful service are at the heart of a successful retirement.

Books and Resources Mentioned A Takeaway Exercise

Your Unique Ability Reflection Dr. Moynes recommends this simple but powerful exercise:

  1. Write down the top 5 things you love to do and know you do really well.

  2. Reflect on 5 key wins, successes, or achievements in your life so far.

  3. Look for patterns and connections between the two lists.
    Ask yourself:

  • Can I apply these skills, passions, or experiences to new areas in retirement?

  • How can I use these to serve others and find fulfillment?

This introspection can help you transition into the most meaningful phase of retirement.

A Final Thought

Retirement is not a finish line, it's a transition into one of the most complex and potentially fulfilling stages of life. But it requires intentionality, emotional awareness, and often hard inner work. As Dr. Moynes reminds us, it's not about endless vacations or financial spreadsheets; it's about redefining purpose, reconnecting with joy, and ultimately serving something bigger than yourself.

Retirement is a human challenge, not a maths problem. The sooner you embrace that, the smoother and more fulfilling your transition will be.

Humans vs Retirement

📩 Enjoyed the episode? Leave a review and let us know your biggest takeaway!

The Ikigai Way: How to Uncover Your Purpose with David Marlow25 mars 202500:59:50
Episode Summary

In this inspiring and heartfelt episode, I sit down with David Marlow, veteran leader, coach, and author of The Ikigai Way to explore how the ancient Japanese concept of Ikigai can powerfully guide us into a more fulfilling and purposeful retirement. From personal stories of career transitions to uncovering identity after work, David shares how aligning our inner essence with what we do can transform our experience of aging, retirement, and meaning in life.

What You'll Learn

  • What Ikigai really means (beyond the Instagram-friendly Venn diagram)
  • How to align your essence and purpose with daily life, before and after retirement
  • The power of experimenting, curiosity, and continuous self-discovery
  • How to reframe retirement from "ending" to "uncovering"
  • Practical tools and reflections to help you discover your own Ikigai
Key Topics Discussed
  • David's winding journey from disc jockey to Marine to transformation leader, and how Ikigai was always there
  • Redefining purpose outside of career or job titles
  • The emotional transition into retirement and how to handle the "grief" of identity loss
  • Why older adults are uniquely primed for deep reflection and discovering Ikigai
  • The mental and physical health benefits of having a clear sense of purpose
  • How to use Ikigai as both a lens and a mirror in your second half of life
  • Shifting from rigid goals to aspirational living
  • The importance of community, relationships, and intergenerational mentoring
Books & Resources Mentioned Memorable Quotes

"Ikigai is expressing your essence in harmony with whatever you're doing—whether that's career, relationships, hobbies, or just life." – David Marlow

"You don't find your Ikigai—you uncover it."

"Ask yourself: What's your tennis ball? What makes you forget to eat?"

"Retirement isn't about leaving something behind. It's about leaning into what's always been within you."

Takeaway Exercise

Ask yourself two powerful questions:

  1. When was the last time you had a truly great day? What were you doing? Who were you with?
  2. What's one thing you do that makes you forget to eat?

Use your answers to start mapping out the threads of your own Ikigai.

Connect with David Marlow Final Thought

Whether you're five years away from retirement or already navigating the transition, this episode reminds us that purpose doesn't end when work does. With small steps and deep reflection, you can uncover a life of fulfillment, alignment, and joy—your Ikigai.

Humans vs Retirement

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The Retirement Mindset Shift with Lindsay Troxell15 mars 202501:07:54

Episode Summary

Retirement isn't just a financial transition, it's a psychological and emotional one, too. In this episode of Humans vs. Retirement, I sit down with Lindsay Troxell, a coach and life planner who has been at the forefront of shifting the financial industry's focus toward a more human-first approach.

Lindsay shares powerful insights on mindset, identity, and habits, and why most people unknowingly experience an identity crisis in retirement. Lindsay and I explore how to reshape your beliefs, redefine purpose, and build new habits for a fulfilling second half of life.

If you've ever asked yourself: Who am I without my job title? How do I retire with meaning? or Why does retirement feel like a letdown?, this episode is for you.

What You'll Learn in This Episode
  • Why retirement isn't just about money—and why financial security alone won't make you happy.
  • How habits and mindset shape your retirement experience (and how to rewire them).
  • The common identity crisis retirees face—and how to navigate it with confidence.
  • Why traditional financial planning treats retirement as a math problem, when it's actually a human challenge.
  • How to develop purpose, fulfillment, and structure in retirement.
  • The importance of coaching and why having a financial plan isn't enough.
  • How Lindsay's business, Discretionary Inc., helps child-free entrepreneurs create a unique life plan that reflects their values and goals.
Key Topics Discussed

[00:02] – Introduction & Catching Up

  • Lindsay's background in financial coaching and life planning.
  • The shift from numbers-focused planning to a holistic, human-first approach.

[00:10] – The Mindset Shift for Retirement

  • Why people treat retirement as a math problem (and why that's wrong).
  • The emotional journey of retirement—why so many people feel lost after stopping work.
  • The three-dimensional approach to retirement: wealth, health, and identity.

[00:25] – Identity & Purpose in Retirement

  • The biggest identity crisis retirees face (losing structure, title, and purpose).
  • Why your identity is more than your job title.
  • The "retire with" framework: What are you bringing into retirement?

[00:40] – Mindset, Habits & Breaking Old Patterns

  • How beliefs shape our retirement experience.
  • The role of growth mindset and beginner mindset in reinvention.
  • The importance of failure and experimentation in building a fulfilling retirement.

[00:55] – Retirement & Relationships: The Gray Divorce Trend

  • How retirement impacts marriages and partnerships.
  • The rising trend of gray divorce (and why couples struggle post-retirement).
  • The three journeys: Your individual path, your partner's path, and your shared path.

[01:10] – The Future of Retirement & Financial Planning

  • Why coaching is the missing link in financial planning.
  • How financial professionals need to adapt their services to serve clients better.
  • Lindsay's business Discretionary Inc. and why child-free entrepreneurs need specialized financial and life planning.

[01:25] – Final Takeaways

  • Why the traditional retirement model is outdated and needs to evolve.
  • Practical steps to redefine your mindset and habits for a more fulfilling life.
  • Lindsay's best advice for people approaching retirement.
Books & Resources Mentioned

Books:

  • The Psychology of Money – Morgan Housel
  • Mindset: The New Psychology of Success – Carol S. Dweck
  • Let Them – Mel Robbins
  • Meditations – Marcus Aurelius
  • Letters from a Stoic – Seneca
  • The Bhagavad Gita – Hindu Philosophy on Purpose & Duty

Research & Studies:

  • Retirement & Depression: 40% increased risk of depression in retirees.
  • Gray Divorce Trends: Divorce rates for 60+ have risen from 9% (1990) to 40% (recent years).

Additional Resources:

Connect with Us

Follow Lindsay Troxell:

  • Website: www.ourcoachinginitiative.com/
  • LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/lindsaytroxell/

Follow Dan & The Podcast:

  • Website: www.humansvsretirement.com
  • LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/dan-haylett-retirement-coach/
  • Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube

📩 Enjoyed the episode? Leave a review and let us know your biggest takeaway!

Behaving Your Way to a Better Retirement with Greg Davies07 mars 202501:04:33

This is episode 75! And I'm thrilled to introduce my guest today. He is a true pioneer in the field of behavioural finance, Dr. Greg Davies.

Greg is the Head of Behavioural Finance at Oxford Risk and has spent his career shaping how we understand investor psychology, financial decision-making, and the emotional complexities that come with managing money—especially in retirement.

In this episode, we'll explore the behavioural traps that retirees often fall into, how to build financial resilience, and why understanding your own psychology is just as important as having a well-structured portfolio.

Throughout our conversation, Greg and I explore the multifaceted aspects of retirement planning, emphasizing the importance of guaranteed income and its psychological benefits.

We discuss how behavioural finance plays a crucial role in spending habits during retirement, the impact of inflation on purchasing power, and the distinction between risk and volatility in investment strategies.

We also touch on future trends in retirement planning, particularly the potential need for and benefits of health insurance and a shift in focus from bequest to spending during retirement.

Key Takeaways

  • Greg Davis shares his journey from economics to behavioral finance.
  • Behavioral finance combines psychology, economics, and finance.
  • The importance of practical applications of behavioral science in finance.
  • People often make poor financial decisions due to cognitive biases.
  • Simplifying complex financial concepts is crucial for better decision-making.
  • Emotional comfort plays a significant role in financial decisions.
  • Retirement planning today is more complex than in previous generations.
  • Technology can help simplify financial decision-making processes.
  • Understanding personal values is essential for effective retirement planning.
  • The removal of guaranteed income streams complicates retirement planning.
  • Financial advisors often overlook the emotional aspects of retirement planning.
  • Guaranteed income can alleviate fears of running out of money.
  • Behavioral finance significantly influences spending habits in retirement.
  • People with guaranteed income tend to spend more comfortably.
  • Inflation poses a significant risk to retirement savings.
  • Understanding the difference between risk and volatility is crucial for investors.
  • Many retirees are too conservative with their investment strategies.
  • Health insurance will become increasingly important in retirement planning.
  • The focus of retirement planning is shifting from bequest to spending.
  • Planning for retirement should consider both financial and emotional factors.

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Greg Davis and His Journey
01:22 - The Intersection of Behavioral Science and Finance
05:45 - Building a Behavioral Finance Team at Barclays
10:53 - Understanding Behavioral Challenges in Retirement
21:57 - Navigating Retirement in a Complex World
29:50 - The Emotional and Financial Aspects of Retirement Planning
32:04 - The Role of Guaranteed Income in Retirement
36:16 - Behavioral Benefits of Guaranteed Income
40:05 - Real-Life Impacts of Guaranteed Income
44:23 - Inflation and Its Impact on Retirement Planning
48:37 - Understanding Risk vs. Volatility in Investments
57:27 - Future Trends in Retirement Planning

Books & Authours Mentioned

Research & Papers Referenced

Other Things to Note

Humans vs Retirement

How to Build Retirement Intelligence with Bob Laura27 févr. 202501:02:53

 

Bob is a pioneer in the psychology and social science of retirement. He is a five-time best-selling author, nationally syndicated columnist and recognized presenter at retirement conferences across the US. He is the founder of the Retirement Coaches Association, Certified Professional Retirement Coach Designation and Retirement Intelligence Assessment. His work has reached millions of retirement readers through seven books, twelve guides, and over 800 articles. In addition to his own writings, he frequently appears in major business media outlets such as the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, CNBC, MarketWatch, the New York Times, and more.

As a former social worker turned retirement expert and author, he has found that retirement is among the most fascinating, yet least understood, phases of life. As a result, he has developed a powerful message to tackle the mental, social, physical, spiritual, and financial aspects of retirement.

In this episode Bob and discuss the common misconceptions about retirement, the rise of grey divorce, and the importance of pre-retirement planning. We also tackle some tricky subjects and highlight the dark side of retirement, including loneliness and addiction, and the necessity of establishing new routines to maintain mental health and social connections post-retirement.

Bob discusses the evolving concept of retirement, emphasising the importance of identity, purpose, and personal fulfilment over financial wealth and he introduces the Retirement Quotient framework, which assesses readiness for retirement through various personal dimensions, including emotional and spiritual well-being.

Key Takeaways

  • Retirement planning should focus on the individual, not just finances.
  • Many retirees experience a drop in social interactions.
  • Pre-retirement planning is crucial for a successful transition.
  • The 'honeymoon phase' of retirement can lead to disillusionment.
  • Loneliness and addiction are significant issues in retirement.
  • Couples often struggle with identity and purpose post-retirement.
  • Establishing new routines is essential for mental health.
  • Workaholism can hinder the retirement experience.
  • Communication between partners is vital for a successful retirement.
  • Retirement should be planned as a new chapter, not an end.  The new wealth is found in work-life balance and connections.
  • Retirement amplifies who you already are, not who you want to be.
  • Maslow's hierarchy applies to retirement, focusing on self-actualization.
  • Retirement requires a proactive framework for success.
  • The Retirement Quotient assesses personal readiness for retirement.
  • Understanding personal traits is crucial for retirement planning.
  • Retirement is an empty bucket that needs to be filled meaningfully.
  • Mindset and habits are essential for a fulfilling retirement.
  • Stop waiting for retirement to start living your values.
  • The only guarantee in retirement is the inevitability of death.

Books Mentioned

 Websites & Resources

 Other Mentions

Humans vs Retirement

 

The Scarcity Trap: How to Shift to a Prosperity Mindset in Retirement with Leisa Peterson14 févr. 202501:00:23

Today I welcome Leisa Peterson to the show, Leisa is the author of The Mindful Millionaire in which she writes brilliantly about overcoming scarcity, experiencing true prosperity and creating the life you really want.

Leisa is on a mission to help 1,000,000 people elevate their financial consciousness by realizing their true value and creating greater financial security for themselves.  

As a money coach, business consultant and spiritual teacher, Leisa host's the Mindful Millionaire podcast as well as virtual workshops and transformative retreats. 

Her masterful blend of sound financial strategy and mindfulness training helps people break free of patterns of lack, scarcity and money fears, allowing them to finally lead the rewarding, fulfilling, and abundant lives they most desire.  

Leisa has appeared in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes and The Huffington Post to name a few and has been featured on many podcasts and radio shows.

In this great conversation Leisa and I explore the intricate relationship between money, mindset, and personal values. Leisa shares her journey from a life of scarcity to becoming a mindful millionaire, emphasizing the importance of understanding one's emotional connection to money.

We discuss how past experiences shape financial behaviours, the significance of cultivating a prosperity mindset, and the role of mindfulness in overcoming financial fears.

We explore the importance of slowing down to make better financial decisions, aligning spending with personal values, and confronting financial realities. There is also some great nuggets of wisdom as we talk about the normalization of financial fears, the impact of past money stories, and the process of rewriting financial narratives.

And make sure you listen in as Leisa introduces her, I Prosper process, which integrates mindfulness and emotional wellbeing into financial planning, ultimately leading to a reinvention of life and relationships.

Key Takeaways

  • The journey from scarcity to abundance is transformative.
  • Understanding your money mindset is crucial for financial well-being.
  • Mindset is deeply emotional, not just logical.
  • Focusing on what you have can shift your perspective.
  • Redefining success involves aligning values with financial decisions.
  • Life events can catalyze significant changes in financial perspectives.
  • Fear often drives financial decisions and behaviors.
  • Storytelling can make financial planning more relatable and effective.
  • Mindfulness practices can help manage financial anxiety.
  • Emotional awareness is key to enjoying life and spending money.
  • Slowing down is essential for better decision-making.
  • Aligning spending with personal values can enhance fulfillment.
  • Confronting financial realities can be daunting but necessary.
  • Normalizing financial fears helps in addressing them.
  • Understanding past money stories can reveal limiting beliefs.
  • Rewriting financial narratives is possible at any stage of life.
  • The I Prosper process offers a holistic approach to financial planning.
  • Reinventing life involves prioritizing meaningful relationships.
  • Every moment of life is precious and should be cherished.
  • Mindfulness in financial planning can lead to emotional wellbeing.
Books Mentioned: Websites & Resources: Concepts & Frameworks: Additional Resources: Related Media:

Humans vs Retirement

 

 

Lessons & Insights From a REAL Retirement Journey with Julian Hince31 janv. 202501:03:04

Summary

Welcome to a very special episode 72 of The Humans vs Retirement Podcast… 

Why is it special I hear you say… 

Well, its special because it's a real retirement story and journey as I have a conversation with my wonderful client Julian Hince. 

Whilst I love bringing expert opinions to you I think nothing hits home and resonates more than a real story of someone who has been through and is living through his own retirement journey.  

As a bit of background to our conversation, Julian recently retired after a long career in financial services. He shares his journey towards retirement, discussing the emotional challenges he faced, the importance of seeking help, and the misconceptions surrounding how much is enough. He emphasizes the need to have open honest and vulnerable conversations about money and the emotional aspects of retirement planning, highlighting that retirement is not just about finances but also about finding purpose and identity in this new phase of life.  

Julian shares inspirational insights and experiences on his journey to retirement, emphasizing the importance of financial advice, emotional preparation, and the joy of spending time with family. He discusses the transformative freedom retirement brings, the significance for him of giving back to the community, and the need for having accountability in managing his retirement finances. Julian also highlights his changing spending patterns in retirement, noting a natural decline his expenses as he becomes more vigilant about his spending. Throughout our conversation he offers first hand valuable advice for those considering retirement, stressing the importance of commitment and professional guidance. 

Key Takeaways

  • Julian emphasizes the importance of seeking help when planning for retirement, even for those in the financial industry.
  • The emotional aspects of retirement are as crucial as the financial ones, and should not be underestimated.
  • Many people have misconceptions about how much money is needed for retirement, often influenced by outdated benchmarks.
  • Julian's journey involved making sacrifices, such as selling possessions, to achieve his retirement goals.
  • The transition to retirement can be emotionally challenging, requiring individuals to find new purpose and identity.
  • Conversations about money and retirement are often avoided, leading to misinformation and fear.
  • Julian found joy in decluttering his life, realizing that material possessions held less value than his newfound freedom.
  • The journey to retirement is ongoing, with emotional ups and downs that need to be navigated.
  • It's important to think beyond the initial excitement of retirement and consider long-term fulfillment.
  • Julian's experience highlights the need for a new generation to redefine retirement planning in a changing financial landscape. You might be surprised at how much is enough financially.
  • Don't underestimate the emotional impact of retirement planning.
  • Engaging with a professional can provide invaluable support.
  • Spending time with family is one of the biggest joys of retirement.
  • Loneliness is a significant issue for the elderly.
  • Creating memories is more important than just focusing on money.
  • Being vigilant about spending can lead to significant savings.
  • Retirement allows for more time to focus on personal passions.
  • Giving back to the community can enhance personal fulfillment.
  • Accountability is crucial in managing retirement finances.

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Julian's Retirement Journey
01:56 - Julian's Career in Financial Services
04:31 - The Decision to Seek Help
06:37 - Understanding the Emotional Aspects of Retirement
09:53 - Challenging Preconceptions About Retirement Savings
12:58 - The Importance of Conversations About Money
15:58 - Making Sacrifices for Retirement
19:37 - The Joy of Letting Go of Material Possessions
22:38 - Surprises in the Transition to Retirement
24:56 - Navigating Emotional Challenges
27:52 - The Ongoing Journey of Finding Purpose
30:50 - Breaking the Silence on Retirement Finances
32:09 - Lessons Learned on the Retirement Journey
34:05 - Embracing Freedom and Family
36:40 - The Joy of Giving Back
39:10 - The Importance of Accountability
44:47 - Finding Purpose in Retirement
49:05 - Understanding Spending Patterns in Retirement
56:43 - Top Advice for Future Retirees

Links

 

How to Make Better Choices in Retirement with Richard Shotton25 janv. 202501:02:06

Summary

In this episode I get to chat with author and behavioural scientist, Richard Shotton. 

Richard specialises in how humans make choices and has written 2 excellent books on this subject, the choice factory and the illusion of choice. He further specialises on applying findings from psychology and behavioural science to how businesses market their services and why consumers buy stuff 

In this episode, Richard discusses the intersection of behavioural science and marketing, particularly in the context of how people make spending decisions in retirement. He shares insights from his research and experiences, highlighting the importance of fairness, social proof, and the emotional aspects of financial choices.  

Our discussion also emphasizes the benefits of spending on experiences and others, as well as the challenges individuals face in transitioning from saving to spending during retirement.  

Richard and I explore the complexities of retirement planning, focusing on behavioural economics and the psychological factors that influence spending habits. We discuss the importance of making financial decisions easier, and the impact of loss aversion on retirees' spending behaviours. We also delve into the paradox of choice and how an abundance of options can lead to decision paralysis.

Key Takeaways

  • Behavioral science can significantly improve marketing effectiveness.
  • Fairness influences decision-making, often leading to suboptimal choices.
  • Social proof plays a crucial role in financial decisions, especially in retirement.
  • People often focus too much on outcomes rather than the decision-making process.
  • Experiential spending tends to yield greater happiness than material purchases.
  • Generosity in spending can enhance personal happiness.
  • Expectations can heavily influence our experiences and satisfaction with purchases.
  • Consistency bias can hinder the transition from saving to spending in retirement.
  • Nudges can effectively guide individuals towards better financial choices.
  • Understanding behavioral biases is key to making informed decisions.  The shift in saving defaults has significantly influenced saving habits.
  • Making financial decisions easier can lead to better outcomes.
  • Loss aversion plays a crucial role in how people spend their money.
  • People are more likely to spend from guaranteed income than from capital.
  • The paradox of choice can hinder decision-making in retirement planning.
  • Financial advisors should use simple language to communicate effectively.
  • Concrete stories are more memorable than abstract concepts in financial advice.
  • Visualizing retirement can help individuals make better financial decisions.
  • Defaults in financial products can greatly impact consumer behavior.
  • Understanding and leveraging biases can improve financial planning outcomes.

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Behavioral Science in Marketing
06:01 - Social Proof and Herd Mentality in Retirement
12:10 - Spending Money Wisely: Experiences vs. Material Goods
17:53 - The Importance of Generosity in Spending
28:10 - Consistency Bias in Retirement Spending
36:02 - Behavioral Insights on Spending and Saving
42:10 - Navigating the Paradox of Choice
50:02 - Effective Communication for Financial Advisors

Links

The Rich Life Mindset with Susan Latremoille16 janv. 202500:53:21

Summary

In this episode of The Humans vs Retirement Podcast is get to chat with Susan Latremoille

Susan is a certified Retirement Coach (CPRC) and the author of The RichLife – Managing Wealth and Purpose, It's Not Just about the Money – The Whole Life Approach to Wealth Management, and co-author – Thriving Throughout Your Retirement Transition. 

Susan spent over 35 years as a wealth advisor assisting clients to financially plan for their retirement. She saw a common thread among her clients. Having enough money to retire was only a piece of the retirement puzzle. It was the non-financial side that had the greatest impact on the predictability of a successful retirement. That's when Susan decided to launch next chapter lifestyle advisers, a retirement lifestyle consulting business that helps individuals and families create a retirement lifestyle plan  

In our conversation Susan discusses her transition from a financial advisor to focusing on the non-financial aspects of retirement planning through her company, Next Chapter Lifestyle Advisors. She shares insights on the importance of understanding your life journeys and the concept of a 'rich life' that encompasses living well, giving back, and leaving a legacy.  

Susan introduces the idea of a happiness portfolio, which includes eight non-financial areas of life that contribute to a fulfilling retirement. Our conversation emphasizes the need for a holistic approach to retirement planning that goes beyond numbers to include personal fulfillment and purpose.  

Susan and I discuss the multifaceted aspects of retirement, emphasizing the importance of leisure, the dynamics of relationships, and the necessity of planning for a fulfilling next chapter in life. We explore the challenges retirees face in managing their time, setting boundaries, and maintaining social connections, while also advocating for a shift in perspective from traditional retirement to a more vibrant and purposeful next chapter. 

Key Takeaways

  • Many retirees are not as happy as they expected.
  • Understanding the life journey is crucial for retirement planning.
  • The rich life mantra includes living well, giving back, and leaving a legacy.
  • Purpose is essential for a fulfilling life after retirement.
  • A happiness portfolio consists of eight non-financial areas of life.
  • Retirement can bring challenges in personal relationships.
  • Leisure is just one aspect of a fulfilling retirement.
  • Self-understanding is the first step in retirement planning.
  • Accountability is key to implementing a retirement plan.
  • Leisure is a vital part of retirement planning.
  • Changing relationships require open communication.
  • Hedonic adaptation can diminish the joy of leisure activities.
  • Structuring time is essential for a fulfilling retirement.
  • The retirement honeymoon phase should be managed carefully.
  • Setting boundaries is crucial to avoid overcommitment.
  • Planning for the next chapter is as important as financial planning.
  • Retirement should be reframed as a new beginning.
  • Storytelling is more impactful than numbers in retirement planning.
  • Communication about expectations can enhance family dynamics

Sound Bites

"Live well, give back, leave a legacy."
"Purpose is a human need that we all need."
"It's a very individual journey."
"Leisure is such a vital part."
"You need to really think about it."
"It's vital to communicate your boundaries."
"We need to retire the word retirement."
"We are storytellers over spreadsheets."
"Make a plan for your next chapter."

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Next Chapter Lifestyle Advisors
05:23 - The Shift from Financial to Non-Financial Planning
10:31 - Understanding the Rich Life Mindset
17:00 - Building a Happiness Portfolio for Retirement
24:50 - The Importance of Leisure in Retirement
27:13 - Navigating Changing Relationships
29:47 - The Reality of Leisure Activities
33:01 - Structuring Time in Retirement
35:57 - The Retirement Honeymoon Phase
38:56 - Setting Boundaries and Communication
43:06 - Reframing Retirement: A New Perspective

Links
Finding Purpose in Retirement with Jordan Grumet08 janv. 202500:56:41

Summary

I had the privilege to sit down with Jordan Grumet, author of the brilliant new book The Purpose Code and host of The Earn & Invest Podcast.

In this conversation, Jordan shares his journey from being a physician to discovering the importance of purpose in life, particularly in retirement.

He discusses the paradox of purpose, the difference between Big P and Little P Purpose, and how societal expectations can lead to anxiety around finding purpose.

Jordan emphasises the need to create and build purpose rather than simply searching for it, and highlights the importance of community and connections in achieving fulfillment and happiness. 

Jordan and I explore the concepts of purpose, identity, and the flawed notion of retirement. We discuss how individuals often strive for external validation through accomplishments, but true fulfillment comes from understanding one's identity and engaging in meaningful activities. Our discussion emphasises the importance of time over money, the impact of little-p purpose in life, and the common regrets people have at the end of their lives.

Ultimately, Jordan encourages you to focus on the journey of life rather than the destination, and to seek out what truly lights you up.

Key Takeaways

  • Purpose is essential for a fulfilling life, especially in retirement.
  • Big P Purpose can lead to anxiety and frustration.
  • Little P Purpose focuses on the process and is more attainable.
  • Creating purpose involves identifying what lights you up.
  • Community and connections are vital for happiness.
  • People often replace work-based purpose with similar frameworks in retirement.
  • Meaning is about understanding our past, while purpose is about present actions.
  • Happiness comes from both meaning and purpose working together.
  • Investing in personal passions can inspire others, especially children.
  • The journey to enoughness is crucial for finding true fulfillment. We often strive for external validation through accomplishments.
  • True fulfillment comes from understanding our identity.
  • Retirement should be viewed as a journey, not a destination.
  • Time is always more important than money.
  • Money is a tool, but little-p purpose moves the needle.
  • Many people regret not pursuing their true passions.
  • Success is less important than the effort and journey.
  • Living with purpose can lead to a peaceful end of life.
  • We should focus on what lights us up in life.
  • The concept of enough is often smaller than we think.

Sound Bites

"We need to put purpose first."
"Big P Purpose is associated with anxiety."
"Little P Purpose focuses on process, not goals."
"You have to build and create purpose."
"Purpose is a conduit to people."
"Happiness is meaning and purpose together."
"You can't purpose your way to enough."
"Identity is based not on goals, but on actions."
"Retirement is a flawed concept."
"Money is a mirage."

Chapters

00:00 -Introduction to Purpose and Identity
02:31 - Jordan's Journey: From Doctor to Purpose Advocate
06:57 - The Paradox of Purpose: Anxiety vs. Fulfillment
12:39 - Big P vs. Little P Purpose: Understanding the Difference
16:31 - Creating Purpose in Retirement: The Challenge Ahead
20:52 - Building Community Through Little P Purpose
27:40 - Meaning vs. Purpose: The Journey to Enoughness
30:29 - Finding Meaning Beyond Striving
31:56 - The Challenge of Identity
34:04 - Redefining Retirement as a Journey
39:26 - The Value of Time Over Money
42:05 - The Impact of Little-P Purpose
46:27 - Regrets and Lessons from the Dying

Links

 

Reflecting on 2024 and My 5 Big Takeaways!16 déc. 202400:08:05

Welcome to a special end of 2024 solo episode of the Humans vs. Retirement podcast!

This year there has been 40 episodes of the podcast released and I'm touching on 90,000 downloads, which blows my mind! I have been so lucky to have conversations with amazing guests and the feedback has been so humbling to hear.  

So, I want to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for joining me on this journey. Whether you've tuned in to one episode or every single one, I'm so grateful for your support and the incredible conversations we've shared together this year.

And if you haven't yet had time to leave a review and rating then best Christmas present you could give me would be to leave one! It really helps spread the word!  

As I look back at 2024, I want to share some highlights from the past 12 months, touch on the common themes that emerged, and leave you with five key takeaways that I hope will resonate as you reflect on your own journey

Reflecting on 2024: Highlights & Themes 

This year has been such a meaningful one for the podcast. Together, we've explored the realities of retirement, challenged common assumptions, and learned from so many insightful guests. Here are some highlights and recurring themes from our episodes this year: 

  1. The Emotional Side of Retirement: 
    We learned that retirement isn't just about financial planning—it's also about preparing emotionally. Guests shared how identity, purpose, and connection play vital roles in creating a fulfilling retirement. 

  1. Finding Purpose Post-Retirement: 
    A recurring message from our conversations was the importance of rediscovering purpose, whether it's through volunteering, pursuing hobbies, or starting new ventures. 

  1. Navigating the Challenges of Change: 
    Many of our guests spoke candidly about the challenges they faced transitioning into retirement, from redefining routines to managing relationships. 

  1. Health as the Foundation: 
    Health and well-being emerged as central themes, with our guests emphasizing the need to invest in both physical and mental health to make the most of retirement. 

  1. The Power of Community: 
    Lastly, we often heard about the value of building and maintaining strong social networks during retirement—it's truly a time when connections matter more than ever

Five Big Takeaways from 2024

As we wrap up this incredible year, I want to leave you with five key takeaways from the conversations we've had on the podcast: 

  1. Retirement Is a Transition, Not a Destination: 
    It's a process, not a single moment. Give yourself grace as you navigate this new chapter. 

  1. Purpose Doesn't Retire: 
    Finding new ways to contribute, grow, and enjoy life is essential to a fulfilling retirement. 

  1. Plan Beyond the Finances: 
    A solid financial plan is important, but don't neglect your emotional and social planning. 

  1. Stay Curious: 
    This is your time to explore, learn, and embrace new experiences. Stay curious about the possibilities ahead. 

  1. Invest in Relationships: 
    Relationships—both new and old—will be your greatest source of joy and support in retirement. Nurture them. 

What does 2025 look like for you? 

My team and I are looking to help 15 new families this year, so if you are based in the UK, thinking about your retirement in the next few years and want to explore working with me to plan and live your dream second half of life then please use the link below to book in a time for us to chat early in the new year.

Book in a time for us to chat

Of course we must be a right fit to work together on this very important phase of life so please fill in the form when clicking on the link and if we are a good fit then you will be able to book in a slot in my diary for us to chat. 

Happy Holidays!!

Before I sign off, I just want to say thank you once again for being part of this journey with me. Your support, feedback, and enthusiasm mean the world, and it's been a privilege to share these conversations with you throughout the year. 

As we head into the holiday season, I hope you take time to celebrate, relax, and connect. I'm wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful start to the New Year. 

Here's to an exciting 2025 filled with new adventures, meaningful conversations, and continued growth. I've already got some brilliant episodes recorded and cracking guests lined up so I cannot wait to see you next year!

 

 

How to Retire with Christine Benz29 nov. 202401:01:12

Summary

In this episode, I'm thrilled to welcome back to the show Christine Benz as we delve into her best selling book How to Retire: 20 Lessons For a Happy, Succesful, And Wealthy Retirement. 

When Christine was a guest on the podcast in ep 36 back in March of this year, her book had not yet been released but we did get a sneak peek into what she had in store for us.  

Now, having got my hands on a copy and seeing how successful the book has become I wanted to get Christine back on the show to talk about my 5 favourite chapters or lessons from the book. So, stay tuned as we discuss 

  • Laying the groundwork with Fitz Gilbert
  • Creating a spending plan with Jonathan Guyton
  • Permission to spend on what matters most with Ramit Sethi
  • Structuring portfolios for cashflow by Christine herself
  • Leave no regrets with Jordan Grummet 

 Throughout our conversation Christine and I explore the multifaceted aspects of retirement, focusing on the importance of mindful spending, the balance of time, money, and health, effective cash flow strategies, and the significance of purpose in life. We discuss how individuals can align their spending with their values, the psychological benefits of structured cash flow, and the necessity of reflecting on life to avoid regrets.  

Key Takeaways

  • Retirement is a unique life stage that requires thoughtful planning.
  • Visualizing how to use retirement years is crucial.
  • Financial resources should support lifestyle choices in retirement.
  • People often underestimate the complexities of retirement planning.
  • A holistic approach to retirement includes both financial and non-financial aspects.
  • Laying groundwork involves both financial and personal preparations.
  • Experiencing mini-retirements can provide valuable insights.
  • Flexible spending strategies are essential for adapting to life changes.
  • Non-portfolio income sources can enhance financial security in retirement.
  • Understanding the behavioral aspects of spending can improve retirement planning.
  • Mindful spending aligns with personal values.
  • Revisiting values annually is crucial for retirees.
  • Cash flow strategies provide peace of mind in retirement.
  • Purpose in life can be cultivated through small actions.
  • It's important to enjoy the journey of life.
  • People regret not attempting rather than failing.
  • Elevating your worry-free number can reduce stress.
  • Understanding the balance of time, money, and health is essential.
  • Small P purposes can lead to a fulfilling retirement.
  • Time is a non-renewable resource that should be valued. 

Sound Bites

"This is a really special life stage."
"Use your time wisely, use it thoughtfully."
"You need a unified vision for retirement."
"Mini retirements can be really impactful."
"Flexible spending strategies are essential."
"Non-portfolio income sources are important."
"Spending feels better than saving."
"Spending your money on what matters to you."
"Elevate your worry-free number."
"Purpose is not found, it's created."
"We regret not attempting, not failing."

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Retirement Planning
03:13 - The Essence of Retirement: Time and Vision
06:00 - The Complexity of Retirement: Balancing Finances and Purpose
08:55 - Laying the Groundwork for Retirement
12:05 - Experiencing Mini-Retirements
21:05 - Creating a Flexible Spending Plan
29:30 - The Importance of Spending Mindfully
36:30 - Understanding Time, Money, and Health Balance
42:15 - Cash Flow Strategies for Retirement
48:42 - Leaving No Regrets: Embracing Purpose in Life

Links

 

The Soul of Wealth with Dr Daniel Crosby22 nov. 202400:57:22

Summary

In this episode, Dr Daniel Crosby returns to discuss his new book The Soul of Wealth and the concept of soulful wealth, particularly in the context of retirement.

He emphasises that money should serve individuals rather than control them, and highlights the importance of relationships and personal growth in achieving happiness. Our conversation explores the PERMA model, which outlines five facets of flourishing: Positive experiences, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Advancement.

Daniel stresses the need for intentionality in retirement planning, focusing on non-financial elements that contribute to a fulfilling life. He also discusses the limitations of money and the critical role of time management in enhancing well-being.

Throughout our enlightening conversation, Daniel and I explore the intricate relationship between money, happiness, and retirement. We discuss the increasing screen time among retirees, the role of AI in daily life, and how spending money can align with personal values to enhance joy. Our discussion delves into the societal pressures of materialism, the fear of the unknown in retirement, and strategies for managing uncertainty. Ultimately, Daniel emphasises the importance of making conscious financial choices that reflect one's true values and the potential for positive surprises in the future.

Key Takeaways

  • Money should serve you, not control you.
  • Strong relationships are key to happiness.
  • Retirement planning should include non-financial elements.
  • The PERMA model outlines five facets of flourishing.
  • Engagement in meaningful activities is crucial in retirement.
  • Loneliness can have severe health impacts.
  • Intentionality in spending free time is essential.
  • Advancement and personal growth should continue post-retirement.
  • Expectations of retirement can lead to disappointment.
  • Time management is a powerful tool for happiness. Retirees are increasingly spending time watching television due to newfound free time.
  • AI should handle mundane tasks, allowing humans to focus on creativity.
  • Spending money on experiences and relationships can lead to greater happiness.
  • Aligning spending with personal values is crucial for fulfillment.
  • Materialism is linked to lower well-being and should be avoided.
  • Fear of the unknown can hinder retirement satisfaction.
  • Controlling what you can in finances is essential for peace of mind.
  • Expect market fluctuations as a normal part of investing.
  • Positive uncertainty can lead to unexpected joys in life.
  • Chronic stress is detrimental; managing expectations is key. 

Sound Bites

"Money is a servant and not a master."
"Relationships are profoundly messy."
"Retirement is often put on a pedestal."
"Money can't buy us happiness outright."
"Time is the ultimate purchase."
"We spend our free time on screens."
"I want AI to mow my lawn and do my laundry."
"Align your spending with your core values."
"The Joneses aren't as happy as they seem."
"Expect market corrections; they are normal."

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction and Welcome Back
01:13 - Defining Soulful Wealth
05:00 - The Role of Relationships in Retirement
10:08 - Exploring the PERMA Model
14:25 - Creating Opportunities for Advancement
16:18 - The Reality of Retirement Expectations
19:24 - Understanding Money's Limitations
22:12 - The Importance of Time in Retirement
25:58 - The Rise of Screen Time in Retirement
27:47 - The Role of AI in Daily Life
28:44 - Spending Money for Happiness
34:31 - Aligning Spending with Values
37:27 - The Joneses Aren't Happy
42:07 - Confronting the Fear of the Unknown
49:44 - Managing Uncertainty in Retirement

Links

 

 

How Our Nervous Systems Impacts Our Retirement with Sheridan Ruth15 nov. 202400:55:32

Summary

In this episode of the Humans vs Retirement podcast, Sheridan shares her inspirational journey through trauma and healing, emphasising the importance of understanding the nervous system's role in our experiences.

Our conversation explores the challenges of modern retirement, likening it to a form of grief, and highlights the need for intentional preparation for this significant life transition. Sheridan and I explore the emotional and psychological aspects of navigating challenges, particularly in the context of retirement and personal growth. We discuss the importance of understanding emotional responses, the necessity of lifelong learning, and the skills required to manage sensations and emotions effectively.

She emphasises the significance of spending money wisely to create lasting memories, the barriers individuals face in changing their spending habits, and the differences in emotional expression between genders. The conversation concludes with actionable insights for listeners to reflect on their own narratives regarding money and life transitions.

Key Takeaways

  • Sheridan's story illustrates resilience and the power of healing.
  • The nervous system plays a crucial role in our life experiences.
  • Modern retirement poses unique challenges for individuals.
  • Retirement can evoke feelings similar to grief.People often neglect to plan adequately for retirement.
  • Understanding one's nervous system can aid in emotional regulation.
  • The transition into retirement can feel lonely and confusing.
  • Money is a significant factor in how we experience safety and identity.
  • Intentional preparation for retirement can lead to fulfillment.
  • This phase of life can be the most rewarding if approached thoughtfully. Your body perceives the threat is too big.
  • We just haven't given ourselves the tools to deal with challenges.
  • Every single thing that we avoid is about the sensations it creates.
  • Being with corporal sensation is a skill that can be learned.
  • The best retirees are lifelong learners who stay curious.
  • Learn how to be with more sensations in your body.
  • Spending money is a skill that no one's ever been taught.
  • Turn your money into memories rather than just saving.
  • Your full-time job is now nervous system regulation after retirement.
  • The biggest blocker to spending is our internal wiring and identity.

Sound Bites

"Sheridan's story is truly inspirational."
"The nervous system's job is to keep you safe."
"Retirement is like a form of grief."
"This is crucial stage of life."
"Your body perceives the threat is too big."
"We just haven't given ourselves the tools."
"Being with corporal sensation is a skill."
"The best retirees are lifelong learners."
"Turn your money into memories."
"The biggest blocker is our internal wiring."

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction and Background
07:50 - Sheridan's Journey Through Trauma
14:57 - Understanding the Nervous System
19:52 - The Challenges of Modern Retirement
26:04 - Retirement as a Form of Grief
28:02 - Understanding Emotional Responses to Challenges
32:15 - The Importance of Lifelong Learning
34:10 - Navigating Sensations and Emotions
35:21 - The Skill of Spending Money Wisely
38:41 - Barriers to Spending and Emotional Vulnerability
41:26 - Nervous System Regulation and Emotional Processing
44:37 - Gender Differences in Emotional Expression
49:27 - Final Thoughts and Homework for Listeners

Links

Beyond Your Career with Victoria Barker08 nov. 202400:56:38

Summary

In this episode of the Humans vs Retirement podcast, I get to have a great conversation with Victoria Barker, co-founder of Beyond Your Career. Beyond Your Career is a programme led by a skilled team of expert coaches, psychologists and neuropsychologists to help ensure a smooth psychological transition from a demanding career, which includes workshops and insights from world-class experts and a supportive community of peers navigating the same transition.

We discuss the challenges of transitioning from demanding careers to retirement, the importance of early planning, and the psychological aspects of identity and purpose. Victoria shares her journey of co-founding Beyond Your Career, driven by her observations of the struggles faced by individuals, particularly men, during this transition.

Our conversation emphasises the need for community support, understanding one's identity beyond work, and the significance of preparing for retirement well in advance.

Victoria and I explore the themes of career transitions, rediscovering passions, and the importance of values in shaping one's purpose. We discuss the courage required to pursue new paths, the common tendency to follow societal expectations, and the significance of introspection in finding fulfillment. Our discussion also highlights the impact of the book 'The Why Cafe' on understanding purpose and the necessity of values as a foundation for personal growth and decision-making.

Key Takeaways

  • The transition from a demanding career can lead to identity crises.
  • Planning for retirement should start years in advance.
  • Community support is crucial during the transition process.
  • Many individuals struggle with mental health after leaving their careers.
  • Understanding personal values is key to a fulfilling retirement.
  • The disconnect between research and real-life experiences is significant.
  • Men are particularly at risk of struggling with retirement transitions.
  • It's important to explore who you want to be, not just what you will do.
  • Life reviews can help identify themes and desires for the future.
  • Crafting multiple identities can aid in a smoother transition. Reflecting on past aspirations can lead to fulfilling new paths.
  • Courage is essential for making bold career decisions.
  • Many pursue roles they think they should, rather than what they want.
  • Introspection is crucial for understanding personal desires.
  • Transitioning from full-time work can be gradual and beneficial.
  • Purpose can be found through exploration and experimentation.
  • Values serve as the foundation for identity and purpose.
  • Asking difficult questions can lead to deeper self-awareness.
  • The journey to purpose often involves trial and error.
  • It's important to recognize and avoid paths that don't resonate. 

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Beyond Your Career
04:29 The Journey to Co-Founding Beyond Your Career
08:38 Understanding the Transition Process
12:34 Planning for Retirement: The Importance of Early Preparation
18:50 The Disconnect Between Research and Reality
21:46 Identity Crisis: Who Are You After Retirement?
27:57 Crafting a New Identity Post-Career
31:18 Rediscovering Passions and Aspirations
34:49 The Courage to Change Paths
38:13 Questioning the 'Shoulds' in Career Transitions
41:58 Navigating the Transition from Full-Time Work
44:17 The Y Cafe: A Journey to Purpose
55:38 Values as the Foundation for Purpose

Links

 

How to Build a Legacy to Die For with Dr Kimberly Harms22 oct. 202400:55:27

About Kimberly

Dr. Harms helps people understand the importance of showing their love for their families by setting them up for success through comprehensive legacy planning.

Dr. Harms has witnessed death up close many times throughout her life. She suffered the loss of her mother and her son to suicide and, eventually, her husband from a broken heart. These events shaped her views on finding meaning in grief, and she set out on a mission to end the stigma around end-of-life planning.

As a fourth-quarter coach and international speaker specializing in grief, conflict resolution, and legacy planning, she helps people put an emotional life insurance plan in place so that their loved ones are left in an emotionally healthy space after they are gone.

Her book Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For discusses how to build a legacy that lives on after your death. It was a #1 bestseller on Amazon and Barnes & Noble and named the most inspirational book of 2024 by the Pacific Book Awards.

Summary

In this episode of the Humans vs Retirement podcast, Dr. Kimberly Harms shares her profound journey through grief, loss, and the quest for purpose in the later stages of life.

At 68, Kimberly reflects on her experiences, including the tragic loss of her Mum, son and husband, and how these events shaped her understanding of legacy and the importance of living fully.

She emphasises the need for purpose in retirement, the significance of building quality relationships, and the power of love letters as a means to connect with family beyond death.

Kimberly's insights encourage you to confront your mortality, embrace your life stories, and create meaningful legacies that transcend material wealth.

Throughout our conversation, Kimberly and I explore the significance of building a legacy that resonates with love and connection. We discuss the importance of appointing trusted individuals to carry out one's wishes, navigating difficult conversations about death, and the emotional benefits of downsizing.

Kimberly shares her personal experiences with grief and the importance of maintaining relationships, culminating in her concept of a 'Grateful But Not Yet Dead Tour' where she expresses appreciation to those who have impacted her life.

Key Takeaways

  • Grief affects everyone around us, and we must fight to overcome it.
  • Retirement can lead to a sense of emptiness without purpose.
  • Building quality relationships is key to happiness in life.
  • Understanding mortality allows us to live more fully.
  • Love letters can provide comfort and connection after death.
  • We should take the initiative to develop relationships and not wait for others.
  • Legacy is not about money; it's about the impact we leave behind.
  • Writing letters can help express love and pride to family members.
  • It's important to prepare for death to ease the burden on loved ones.
  • We can reinvent ourselves in the later stages of life.  Appoint trusted individuals to carry out your wishes.
  • Last minute statements can provide immense comfort.
  • Regularly express love to family members.
  • Cultural attitudes often deny discussions about death.
  • Navigating conversations about death can be challenging but necessary.
  • Downsizing can be painful but ultimately freeing.
  • Focus on relationships over material possessions.
  • Planning for the future can ease family burdens after death.
  • Creating memories and experiences is a vital part of legacy.
  • Expressing gratitude can enhance personal happiness and relationships.

Sound Bites

"I realized that I am in the fourth quarter of my life"
"It's worth it to get out there and fight your way out"
"Retirement is a time to reinvent ourselves"
"You can't underestimate the power of those moments."
"Those last minute statements are so powerful."
"It's important to tell our family how much we love them."

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Dr. Kimberly Harms
01:29 - Kimberly's Journey Through Grief and Loss
09:38 - The Impact of Grief on Life and Purpose
17:22 - Understanding Mortality and Living Fully
24:54 - Building a Legacy Beyond Money
29:10 - The Importance of Appointing Trusted Individuals
33:02 - Navigating Difficult Conversations About Death
40:01 - Downsizing and Emotional Wellbeing
49:18 - The Grateful But Not Yet Dead Tour

Links

Kimberly's book Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For

 

 

4% and Beyond! The Evolution of Safe Withdrawal Strategies with Bill Bengen27 sept. 202400:43:06

Summary

In this episode of the Humans vs Retirement podcast, I interview Bill Bengen, the pioneer of the 4% safe withdrawal strategy, who shares insights from his extensive research on retirement income strategies.

Bill discusses the evolution of the 4% safe withdrawal rate, revealing that the worst-case scenario may now be closer to 5%. He emphasises the importance of diversification, glider path investing, and rebalancing in enhancing withdrawal rates.

The conversation also delves into the risks of inflation and the significance of understanding personal inflation rates in retirement planning.

Bill concludes with thoughts on the current market environment and the future of retirement planning.

Takeaways

  • Bill Bengen's research has evolved the 4% rule to a 5% worst-case scenario.
  • Only one out of 400 retirees in Bengen's database faced the 5% withdrawal rate.
  • Diversification across multiple asset classes is crucial for sustainable withdrawals.
  • Glider path investing can significantly enhance retirement income.
  • Rebalancing portfolios regularly is essential to avoid overexposure to equities.
  • Sequence of inflation risk poses a significant threat to retirees.
  • Personal inflation rates often exceed government-reported figures.
  • Retirement spending tends to decrease in real terms over time.
  • Many retirees fear running out of money more than death itself.
  • Current market conditions are unique and require careful planning.

Sound Bites

"The 4% rule has evolved to a 5% worst case."
"Only one out of 400 retirees hit the 5% mark."
"Diversification is key to higher withdrawal rates."

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Bill Bengen and His Research
04:52 - The Evolution of the 4% Withdrawal Rule
10:05 - New Insights: The 5% Withdrawal Rate
14:49 - Strategies for Sustainable Withdrawals
20:07 - Understanding Inflation Risks in Retirement
25:09 - The Importance of Personal Inflation Rates
29:59 - The Future of Retirement Planning
34:58 - Conclusion and Future Directions

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