“Before, you could count how many buildings they destroyed. Now, you count how many buildings they didn’t destroy” — Tarneem Jaber

Tarneem Jaber (19 yrs old)  was starting her first week of med school on October 7th. Her brother Ahmad  (21 yrs old) was in his third year of dental school with only two remaining. Hamza, the oldest (24 yrs old), was supposed to graduate this June: He was a volunteer at Al-Shifa until it was obliterated.

The three siblings survived the destruction of their home, food shortages, a long journey to the border, and finding an apartment to rent in Cairo, Egypt. Only a few weeks later they were doing an interview on zoom with a Canadian for a feminist podcast they’d never heard of, telling the story of what they lived and what goes on for the loved ones they left behind.

Each of the Jaber siblings chooses a monologue to read: Hamza reads #30: Yasmeen Abu Amer. Ahmad reads #8: Ehab Elayan. Tarneem reads #13: Reema El Sadi. "We relate to every single word in this monologue," Tarneem says.

"But this war, is worse than anything we lived before."

Support them to complete their mother's parting wish: to finish their education. Thrust into complete independence and faced with international student fees and paying over again for years they already completed, these three brilliant students need your help to fix problems they never should have had to face. Please follow our link: https://gofund.me/854be259

Comedian Alaa Shahada talks about artist life in Jenin, West Bank. We hear a radiomagic excerpt of his one-man show "The Horse of Jenin". He talks about his dreams for the future of Palestine and performs Gaza Monologue #22 Mahmud Abu Shaa’ban. 

Alaa is a graduate of the Nobel prize nominated Freedom Theatre acting and the co-founder of the Palestine Comedy Club.

EASE ANY GUILT YOU FEEL ABOUT WHERE YOUR TAX DOLLARS GO BY SUPPORTING SOME BRILLIANT KIDS TO FINISH THEIR EDUCATION.

A window into the set-up from which an audio heartthrob emerged: Charlie Park. A neurotic and immensely talented puppeteer conceived of by artist Phoebe Wang and performed by sound artist Mitchell Akiyama. 

This is episode 2 of The Shadows from CBC Podcasts: an auto-fictional series in which KP explores the life she would have had if she’d become a puppeteer instead of a radio producer. There IS a Terry Gross cameo in this episode. Listen closely. You also hear the real life puppetry aficionados: Jessie Orr, Max Kelly and Bekky O’Neil. 

It’s fundraiser time! Donate to Radiotopia to support new Heart content and all of the other incredible shows on the network. We need your help to make more beautiful and heartfelt audio!

 AND: Don’t forget to call your representatives and support a ceasefire in Palestine. 

In the U.S. 

In Canada. 

In the U.K.

Jewish Voice for Peace

Short and Sweet:

Mid month we bring you something short. Whitney Jones (producer at PITCH) tells us about his first love, and 27 other firsts in chronological order. Originally produced on Cowbird.  You will also hear some previews of first kisses, which we’ll be sharing at our Launch Party.

When we do something for the first time, we enter into a world with new rules. It’s the creation of a new path, a new possibility. We meet this threshold with no knowledge of what will happen, how we or the world will react.

Once the rules of the game change, once we do something that we’ve never done before, the question of how to navigate the new world is what comes next. What do we do after the first kiss? Will it give way to the first holding of hands, the first public display of affection, the first sex, the first week sleeping in someone else’s bed every night? Or will it be the first, but also — the last?

This is a story featuring Drew Denny, a singer, songwriter, filmmaker and artist. You can check out her first feature film here.

A radio show is born.  Again. We all go through phases and have an identity crisis or three. Audio Smut started as an hour long broadcast radio show at CKUT in Montreal, and has transformed into a delicately crafted podcast now part of PRX’s Radiotopia network. We cordially welcome you to The Heart.

An Interlude.

This is an interview about necking (or lack thereof). A kiss over time: at the beginning, in the middle, at the end. If you don’t like how somebody kisses, can you grow into it? Samara’s Grandma tells us her story.

This episode is part of our kissing series. If you want to hear more, go here: http://audiosmut.tumblr.com/

Episode Twelve.

Kaitlin and Kyle. They met at a kissing booth. On their first date they went on a recording adventure (for one of the early Audio Smut documentaries about the Drag Queens). They became obsessed with each other. They ended up making audio recordings of a lot of almost everything that happened between them.

This is the last episode of the season. It is also the last episode of Audio Smut. Don’t cry! We will be starting something new in a few months, better and more beautiful than ever before.

Winner of the Hearsay International Audio Festival GOLD AWARD for best documentary. 

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

Episode Eleven.

Audio Smut presents: a radio play. This episode was a documentary experiment, produced in collaboration with composer Shani Aviram. We set out asking questions about how perception is altered in early romantic relationships. How does your sense of reality fail you when you’re falling in love? After months of research and 17 interviews, we decided to write a single narrative encompassing the experiences and facts we unearthed.

Winner of the Prix Italia Gold Award for New Formats. 

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

A Quickie.

Behold the almighty power of the V. Vaginas can hold the largest and smallest of objects with barely the slightest uncomfort. So it just makes sense to stash your weed in there. Star reporter, Ruth Eddy tells us how she came to use her natural pocket.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

Episode Ten.

This episode is about growing up, becoming an adult, entering a stage of independence: shaving cream, tampons, driving, voting, doing your own dishes, doing your own taxes and sex. This episode will take you on a path of rituals, formal or otherwise.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

Episode Nine.

The written word: a way to fuel a romance, a way to capture someone’s attention, a way to break up. We read people’s most private letters, and tell the story of the relationships that were made and broken by them.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

A Quickie.

In 1909, James Joyce wrote his wife, Nora Barnacle, a series of very sexy letters. While her side of the correspondence has been lost, we still have Joyce’s letters–and they’re really good. In this quickie, we’re reading you one of our favorites.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

As people all over the world grieve and struggle, KP invites you to take a moment to reflect, meditate, pray, manifest and grapple with the question of what those of us who are not there can do.

Links and Resources from this episode:

How to Stop a Genocide (while in the global north), Hussan S.K

The Inside Story Podcast: What Influence Can International Opinion Have on the War In Gaza? [Al Jazeera]

Jewish Voice for Peace: visit this site for straightforward actions to take in the U.S.A

Save Palestine: Justice for All Canada: visit this site for straightforward actions to take in Canada

5 Solidarity Actions You Can Take in the UK

Do Better: Spiritual Activism for Fighting and Healing from White Supremacy by Rachel Ricketts

@officialjakegyllenhalal

MC Abdul

Thank you to all of the friends of KP who lent their voices and their experiences to this episode.

(Welcome to Season Two)

FU*K LOVE. Family. Responsibility. Survival. Economic Stability. These were once much more important to things to build your life on. This episode looks at the ideal of true love, how it came to be and what exists outside of it.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

A Quickie: Do you believe in true love?

Does it really exist, or is it just a mythology made up by Hollywood? How would you define true love? Jonathan Goldstein shares his thoughts on this Valentine’s Day special.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

Episode Seven.

Psychologist and sexologist, John Money came up with the theory of a lovemap. A lovemap is a template. It’s a template that we are constantly measuring our sexual and romantic experiences against. It’s the map of what we like, who we like and how we like it. Money’s idea is that we all have one, and they tend to be pretty specific, right down to how exactly you need to be touched to have an orgasm. In this episode of Audio Smut we explore different kinds of lovemaps; sexual lovemaps that deviate from preconceived notions of what is suppose to happen when one body meets another, dating lovemaps unveiling our tendencies in relationships and finally, the physical map of touch.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

A Quickie: This quickie is a history- a love map, if you will- of how Kaitlin manages to be such a productive person.

Also, this is the reason why Kaitlin insists on holding our meetings in coffee shops. Here, the lines between public and private, work and pleasure, get a little blurry.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

Episode Six

Homelessness isn’t really something that can be easily defined. Sometimes people make choices, other times people have no choices. In this episode, we have three situations from three very different people about how they managed to get by.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

A Quickie: Keith’s virginity story.

Keith is and always has been an extremely charming man. I know it was the 90s, but there is nothing charming about a yellow jumpsuit. Poor clothing choices aside, Keith still proves to be a chick magnet. If you love this story, stay tuned for our next episode coming out on Sunday July 7th where you will hear more of Keith plus some other truly incredible tales.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

Episode Five.

It’s your highschool sex ed class. Mrs. Green is going to play a movie. You are very excited. The room goes dark, the movie begins. You’re already a little bit aroused; you’ve seen pornography before but never in public with all your friends. Until you see the VAGINAS DESTROYED FOREVER because of unprotected sex. Penises OOZING MYSTERY SLIME never to ejaculate normally again! Encrusted growths! Rotting flesh! You carry a mortal fear of STIs for your entire adult life. Until you get one.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

A Quickie: What will people think?

This story happened to a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of Audio Smut Producer, Erin. When surfing the Casual Encounters on Craigslist one must be prepared to be surprisingly turned on. Things get hot on there. Our shero finds a posting that speaks to her. She is turned on and cannot get this man’s fantasy out of her mind. She is so struck that she responds. She has never responded to a Craigslist ad. She is terrified, excited, and extremely nervous. Tonight, we go to the movies.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

Episode Four.

The good times and the bad times of making babies. Babies being born is a topic we accidentally avoid on audio smut. But the fact is, we have bodies that make us babies and sex is involved, albeit in many different ways. In this episode, we look at three different stories of babies being born.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

A Quickie: The time that god punished you for having a threesome with my sister.

Devon is one of Kaitlin’s oldest friends from high school. They now live in different cities and see each other yearly if they’re lucky. Kaitlin’s sister recently moved Toronto. The rest of this story is in the gutter, literally. Devon has a very sensitive stomach. He ate too much curry and spicy peppers on the night that was to end with him and two beautiful, naked women. A dream come true, right?

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

The story underneath the story: what happened after we made “Movies In Your Head”. In a clawfoot bathtub moaning in agony, “The Shadows” was conceived. KP’s first serialized fiction show: the story of having to choose between romanticism and realism. 

Does the fairy tale really exist? Or does it only exist at the beginning of a relationship? Our main character believes that she’ll be one of the outliers who will fall in love, and stay in love FOREVER. 

 Featuring: episode 1 of “The Shadows” from CBC Podcasts. Edited by Sharon Mashihi, senior produced by Phoebe Wang, written directed and performed by Kaitlin Prest. Performances by Mitchell Akiyama, Jessie Orr, Max Kelly, Bekky O’Neil, Meagan Castle, Harry Knazan, Rizz Young. Special thanks to Haley Lewis. You hear the real Rumi restaurant in this episode. You can find this beautiful establishment on rue Hutchinson in Montreal.

Episode Two.

Seriously, what’s the big deal.

In this episode, we tackle one of the biggest taboos. We eat food, everyday and eventually that food has to come out. Yeah it’s gross and stinky but it is one of the most natural things that our body does. Nonetheless, it’s quite common for people to have hang ups around anything that has to do with butts.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

A Quickie: We bring to you a surprising letter from Mozart.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

Episode One.

Experience more than sight, sound, smell, taste, touch. Venture with us beyond the 5-way sense scape.

Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

Have you ever fallen a little too hard a little too fast in love with someone you’ve just met? Have you ever caught yourself imagining the beautiful house in the country the two of you would grow old together in?

We go back in time to the era before the term ‘ghosting’ had been coined and explore the phenomenon that Ayinde Bennett calls “making movies in your head”. 

Featuring: the Prix Italia Gold Award winning radio play (the first podcast to win a Prix Italia! That’s some radio history!) co-created with composer and sound designer Shani Aviram. Associate production by Shira Bannerman, editing and performance by Mitra Kaboli, advising by Sharon Mashihi, performed written and directed by Kaitlin Prest, art by Jen Ng.

In the final episode of the series Kaitlin isn't sure whether or not she truly wants to get into it with her father. Kaitlin is conflicted. Is having one last conversation with her Dad on tape a good idea? Does she have the courage to confront her dad face to face?

Resources for accountability and healing at https://www.theheartradio.org/dad

Episode 3: At age 33, Kaitlin is stranded living with her parents in Ottawa, living in their basement just like she did when she was a teenager. It's the first time she and her dad have lived together since the period the family euphemistically calls 'the dark years'.

Trigger Warning - discussion and depictions of parental abuse. For resources go to theheartradio.org/dad

Episode 2: Kaitlin's father, Greg, proudly claims the title of mister mom in 1986. He's always wanted to be a dad. When the apple of his eye enters her tween years and starts hating him he struggles to be the kind of dad he thought he should be.

Trigger Warning: topics related to parental abuse, trauma, self-gaslighting, gaslighting. For resources go to theheartradio.org/dad

Episode 1: Kaitlin and her Dad fought so much when she was a teenager that the family calls those years '“World War III”. She tells the story of what happened after she left home and decided to love him anyway. As she became an adult, therapists and friends urged her to examine what really happened in those years. When she tries to talk about it with the family, she knows she has a big decision to make.

Trigger Warning: topics related to parental abuse, trauma, self-gaslighting, gaslighting, defensiveness, victim blaming

Resources at theheartradio.org/dad

Kaitlin and Natalie Prest do a post-game analysis after creating the 5 episode series: SISTERS. The two sisters unpack all the things that didn’t get said in the narrative series, discuss topics that were raised and answer a couple of listener questions. The sisters open up about their personal experiences touching on topics such as mental health, diagnoses, self-care, borderline personality disorder, dialectical based therapy, and methods to ask for help from loved ones during times of struggle.

Kaitlin and Natalie try to create boundaries for the first time in their lifelong relationship. They work to navigate their relationship together and separately. As they embark on creating the final episode of this series, they realize they are having fun again.

Ali Dajani grew up in Jordan and studied in Canada, where he met KP, the friend that sits down with him in his Amsterdam home to read Gaza Monologue #1: the story of Ahmad El Ruzzi. Ali's paternal grandfather left Jerusalem in 1948. "What happened in 1948?" our radio friend asks. They both laugh. She apologizes for her ignorance. He begins to explain. 

Discussions of whether the cute-ass canals and oh-my-god-there’s-a-boat’s will become his permanent home frame the recording of the first monologue in Ashtar Theatre’s play: 

Ahmad El Ruzzi from Al Wehda street, who was 17 years old when he wrote the story of his experience of power outages, trust issues and karma.

PLEASE DONATE TO OUR FRIENDS FROM GAZA WHO LOST EVERYTHING AND I MEAN EVERYTHING. If you can afford it: consider donating a thousand dollars and giving up 2 - 5 fancy dinners or 10 take-out meals for you and your boo — if 150 people donate 1k each, these young people don’t have to wait and watch donations trickle in over the course of the next few months. Afford them the security of knowing they have some power over their future. 

We go back in time to before Kaitlin hired Natalie. She brings us inside of her uncertain world, and her journey to figure out what is wrong.

 TRIGGER WARNING: suicidal ideation, reference to childhood and sexual trauma (no depictions), borderline personality disorder

It’s the pandemic, and KP hires her younger sister to work at her company. As an assistant producer. Natalie is having flashbacks to their youth, when she performed as the butler at Kaitlin’s dinner parties. Is this the new version of the butler role? As they set out to make art together, attempting to do it in a way that doesn’t reinforce old childhood patterns Natalie finally sees who Kaitlin is on a day to day basis.

TW: suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety, alcohol.

Natalie and Kaitlin go into their 20s living separate and faraway lives. Kaitlin comes home from New York for christmas every year, and they hug and talk into the night, falling asleep spooning like they did when they were little girls. Kaitlin makes a grand gesture and buys tickets to go on a special sister adventure: to the Jem and Holograms Convention. What ends up happening at the convention is something neither of them saw coming.

Kaitlin was Daddy’s little girl. And then: Natalie was born. The older and the younger sister: competing for attention, being bossed around, borrowing clothes, getting in petty fights and loving each other anyway. As little girls Kaitlin and Natalie fought because they were too similar. As teenagers Kaitlin and Natalie fought because they were total opposites. What does their adult future hold? Will they be friends or a family obligation?

TW: Light reference to abusive parental behaviour. No mentions of physical violence.

For resources on parental child abuse go to theheartradio.org/sisters

She’s the talented one. She’s the hard worker. She’s the pretty one. She’s the one that Dad likes more….SISTERS. A preview into our newest series coming to you February 14th: on the day the world celebrates love, we celebrate Sisterhood.

The new season is coming to you as part of a brand new partnership with the incredible: CBC Podcasts!

Welcome to The Heart. We’ve been in operation for 14 years! What’s next? An overview for those new to the feed. And a window into what double double toil and radio we’ve been cooking up for 2022.

Support The Heart and donate to Radiotopia Now! https://on.prx.org/3HK9OIh. From the bottom of our hearts, Thank you!

Surprise, it’s a holiday special! Join us for a little queer holiday cheer as journalist America Stevens tracks down Santa’s older, gayer, drunker, sister… Sandy Claus.

This piece is an adaptation of a live show written and performed by comedian, Kristen Becker. Produced by Katie Fitzgerald.

“You don’t know what it means to be Black because you don’t know what it means to be one thing. Who is when you know you are a brother and a son, a lover and a friend. Sometimes you say you’re Ivorian. And other times you say “je suis Ivorien” which means you feel more French than British until you go to France where your French isn’t French enough. When you come back, you feel more British than Ivorian, until you’re offered tea. Or learn something about this country that puts you on the outside again.” Axel Kacoutié’s sonic meditation on Blackness and identity. The final episode of our three part feature of Axel’s work. 

Originally produced for BBC Radio 4, Shortcuts. Edited by Eleanor McDowell. 

A dreamlike exploration of depression in the underground.  Inspired in part by a bruised and beautiful looking cloud at sunset, we follow Axel Kacoutié on a subway ride home.

In response to Emily Dickinson's poem 'Hope is the thing with feathers', this work was originally produced for BBC’s Between the Ears, from Falling Tree Productions. Edited by the great Eleanor McDowall.

Love found in an unlikely place: a natural disaster. As we cozy down and prepare to say goodbye to 2020, The Heart is here to wish you all some pandemic love for 2021.

"It's kind of corny, but I think about this quote from Che Guevara: "the true revolutionary is guided by feelings of great love." Aliya Pabani, artist, organizer and collaborator. 

A glimpse into the friends and friends of friends that share their stories in our upcoming series: an adaptation of the Gaza Monologues by Ashtar Theatre (Ramallah). A group of artists, activists and students from Palestine and beyond read the famed monologues from 2010. Speaking words written by teenagers experiencing war in Gaza over a decade ago, we reflect on what's happening today.

“We relate with every single word in this monologue. [But] this is bigger than any war we’ve lived before.” Tarneem Jaber. 

Please give generously to the young people from Gaza who shared their stories in the series: empower them to reclaim their dreams HERE. 

Music: : Marj Ibn Amer - Muqata’a 

Melanie, her family (the voices in her head), and her ill-fated lover discuss potentially having a baby, and her first pregnancy 9 years ago.

Appearances is an audio mindtrip by Sharon Mashihi and Mermaid Palace. Subscribe to the series where you listen to podcasts, or on MermaidPalace.org/Appearances.

All parents shape our identities. Phoebe’s affluent white parents made a particular set of choices to raise her in an all-white neighborhood with a sordid history. Phoebe investigates what she inherited as a result.

Part 3 of a 3 part series. Produced by Phoebe Unter, edited by Sharon Mashihi and hosted by Kaitlin Prest.

In a community with a strict “no new white friends” policy, Phoebe asks: how does my being white affect our relationship?

Part 2 of a 3 part series. Produced by Phoebe Unter, edited by Sharon Mashihi and hosted by Kaitlin Prest. Featuring Nicole Kelly & Kamala Puligandla.