Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast The Gentle Village

In this episode, Jamie and Neil explore the difference between our core needs for safety and our deeper, playsome desires. Together, they unpack how we often confuse what grounds us with what excites us, and how to bring honest communication into both.

Jamie and Neil both teach their own courses—find out more here:

Neil’s Offerings:

• Building Secure Attachments (12-week course):https://www.positively-mindful.com/building-secure-attachments.html

• Playful Desires (Conscious Kink & Embodiment Workshops):https://playful-desires.co.uk/caring-k1nk-workshops

Jamie’s Offerings:

• BRING IT! The Jamie Catto Teacher Training (For facilitators, leaders, coaches, and clowns):https://workshops.jamiecatto.com/bring-it-course

Today’s episode is gorgeous and holds a lot of weight. Jamie shares open-heartedly about a recent breakup—the grief, the transition, and the quiet spaces left behind when a relationship ends.

Together, we’re stepping into the messy, beautiful landscape of heartbreak, asking what it means to hold space for pain while gently redefining what love actually means. Whether you’re healing from a loss of your own, or simply reflecting on how you love the people around you, we’re glad you’re here with us today.

Settle in, take a deep breath, and welcome to Gentle Village."

Remember Jamie and Neil both teach thier own courses find out more here:

Offerings:

Neil has a 12 week course beginning September: Building Secure Attachments - Get in quick to learn and heal your attachment styles: ⁠https://www.positively-mindful.com/building-secure-attachments.html⁠

And Neil has also got many K1nky delights coming very soon, including a few spots on this Saturday 18th April: Worship workshop in Bristol,

⁠https://playful-desires.co.uk/caring-k1nk-workshops⁠ 

Jamie is opening the gates to his new: BRING IT!

THE JAMIE CATTO TEACHER TRAINING

FOR FACILITATORS, LEADERS, COACHES AND CLOWNS

⁠https://workshops.jamiecatto.com/bring-it-course⁠

Jamie and Neil discuss their therapy explorations and insights and ask what makes a good and bad therapist or a mismatched therapeutic alliance? 

A slightly shorter episode today to appease the ADHD among us. 

Offerings:

Neil has a 12 week course beginning 23rd April: Building Secure Attachments - Get in quick to learn and heal your attachment styles: https://www.positively-mindful.com/building-secure-attachments.html

And Neil has also got many K1nky delights coming very soon, including a few spots on this Saturday 18th April: Worship workshop in Bristol,

https://playful-desires.co.uk/caring-k1nk-workshops 

Jamie is opening the gates to his new: BRING IT!

THE JAMIE CATTO TEACHER TRAINING

FOR FACILITATORS, LEADERS, COACHES AND CLOWNS

https://workshops.jamiecatto.com/bring-it-course

Topics we explore:

• The martyr / rescuer / compulsive pleaser

• What is healthy and even selfish generosity?

• Working with and integrating the inner critic

  
  

  Jamie's stuff:

  Jamie’s opening the doors to Bring It! - his teacher (preacher) training for facilitators, leaders, coaches and clowns. If you’re ready to bring your unique gifts to the world with lightness and playfulness, while making some lifelong friends along the way, then maybe it’s for you - https://workshops.jamiecatto.com/bring-it-course

  
  

  And the link to Bristol Transforming Shadows weekend: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/jamie-cattos-transforming-shadows-two-day-workshop-live-in-bristol-tickets-1981798086425

  
  

  Neil's stuff: Neil will be runing a new 'Building Secure Attachments' course in April: https://www.positively-mindful.com/building-secure-attachments.html

  
  

  All of Neil's offerings: https://linktr.ee/Neilmorbs

What do you do when you wake up feeling blue… but life still expects you to show up strong?

In this episode of The Gentle Village, we explore the emotional reality of low mornings, the vulnerability of receiving negative feedback (including a juicy barrister story), and the subtle ways relationships either help us grow… or slowly shrink us.

We unpack the power of appreciation as a green flag, the warning signs of yellow and red flags in relating, and what it really means to champion each other rather than compete, criticise, or withdraw.

We also talk about emotional safety — the kind where you can express your truth without fear — and why generosity isn’t just “nice”… it’s actually one of the most selfishly beneficial things we can practise.

Because when one person feels safer, more supported, and more seen… it creates a ripple effect far beyond the relationship itself.

OUR OFFERINGS:

Neil offers coaching and counselling, plus his incredible relationship 12 week course (also for single people) :

https://www.positively-mindful.com/building-secure-attachments.html

If you want more spicy and playful offerings (like '') then visit:

https://playful-desires.co.uk/

Jamie's work is found here: https://www.jamiecatto.com/

Jamie and Neil discuss the nature of god as the sadist in the sky which leads us into explorations of power, privilege and exploring our choice vs vulnerability . We sit in some challenging questions about rescuing, victim and perpetrator narratives. As always we try to be in the question instead of knowing all the answers and we would love to hear your feedback.

Links:

Wheel of Power

Ram Dass - How Can I Help?

Moral Ambition by Rutger Bregman

Games People Play -- Eric Berne

Adam Lane Smith - Attachment

Come and work /play with us:

Jamie will be offering his world renowned 'Game Changer; course very soon - find our more and sign up here:

⁠https://www.jamiecatto.com/gamechanger⁠

Neil offers coaching and counselling, plus his incredible relationship workshop (also for single people) - '⁠Building Secure Attachments⁠', here:

⁠https://www.positively-mindful.com/⁠

If you want more spicy and playful offerings (like '⁠Caring Kink⁠') then visit:

⁠https://playful-desires.co.uk/⁠

Jamie and Neil discuss issues around sex, pornography and performance anxiety - how can we be with these in relationship in the modern era, especially with the advent of AI?

Offerings

Jamie will be offering his world renowned course very soon - find our more and sign up here:

Neil offers coaching and counselling, plus his incredible relationship workshop (also for single people):

https://www.positively-mindful.com/

If you want more spicy and playful offerings then visit:

https://playful-desires.co.uk/

Jamie and Neil discussed personal relationships and our feelings of unworthiness. When we reflect on our own and others' flaws can we reveal and play with our shadow aspects? How can we use games and kink to make this fun, arousing and connecting?

We discuss the impact of childhood experiences and parental influences on developing beliefs about oneself. If we are able to focus on the positive aspects of trauma can it lead to personal growth, connection and even juiciness!?

Offerings

Jamie will be offering his world renowned 'Game Changer' course very soon - find our more and sign up here:

https://www.jamiecatto.com/gamechanger

Neil offers coaching and counselling, plus his incredible relationship workshop (also for single people) - 'Building Secure Attachments', here:

https://www.positively-mindful.com/

If you want more spicy and playful offerings (like 'Caring Kink') then visit:

https://playful-desires.co.uk/

This month Jamie enters a new chapter in relating and discusses with Neil what we can do when in the dip (an ebb of tiredness, fatigue or low emotions) to manage our thoughts and emotions, without causing harm to our relationships.

Neil opens by discussing a Ram Dass clip he is inspired by: The Yoga of Relationship: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0xuRbOcmQUAOxT4dsHg6sm?si=ab539ef4e403455d

------------------------------------------------------------If you'd like to find out more about us:

Jamie is offering his world famous facilitator training at https://www.jamiecatto.com/bringit
Neil is offering two juicy things:

1. Building Secure Attachments: a 12 week online group meeting once a week, with a course of material to help you feel more secure in your self and your relationships: https://www.positively-mindful.com/building-secure-attachments.html

• Playful Desires: In person workshops and play parties that help reconnect us to the playful, innocent joy of various kinky dynamics in safer ways. Neil calls this 'Caring Kink': https://playful-desires.co.uk/

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Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023… and beyond!

In this podcast, Jamie Catto (Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gifted) and Neil Morbey (Counsellor, Mindfulness Coach, Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support.

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to neil@positively-mindful.comand jamie@jamiecatto.com

In this episode Jamie and Neil discuss: 

• Let's give ourselves the chance to get a little freaky now and then

• Not all about relationships this time...

• Musings on teaching and facilitation 

• Masochism in workshops vs exploring spiritually

• Laughter and comfort zone changes and healings

• Transforming neurosis

• Neuroplasticity 

• Fantasies

• The 10-day Vipassana

• Is pushing ourselves a good thing? 

• It’s ok to judge sometimes

  
  

Neil is offering two juicy things: 

1. Building Secure Attachments: a 12 week online group meeting once a week, with a course of material to help you feel more secure in your self and your relationships: https://www.positively-mindful.com/building-secure-attachments.html 

2. Caring Kink: In person workshops and play parties that help reconnect us to the playful, innocent joy of various kinky dynamics in safer ways: ere:https://www.positively-mindful.com/playful-desires.html 

   
   

Jamie is offering his world famous facilitator training at jamiecatto.com/bringit 

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Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023… and beyond!

In this podcast, Jamie Catto (Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gifted) and Neil Morbey (Counsellor, Mindfulness Coach, Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support.

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to neil@positively-mindful.comand jamie@jamiecatto.com

In this episode we chat about:

Neil has just posted a whole curriculum of 'spicy' workshops that he calls CARING K1NK. You can also find Neil at Positively-Mindful

Jamie is offering his world famous Bring It facilitator training at jamiecatto.com/bringit

In this episode both Jamie and Neil have big news about their lives and are diving deep into attachment. We discuss god and how belief can affect recovery of our trust in love, in life and in our partners. Little nuggets of Jamie and Neil wisdom lie within, we think.

Neil has just posted a whole curriculum of 'spicy' workshops that he calls CARING K1NK. If you're interested to know more click here:

https://www.positively-mindful.com/playful-desires.html

Jamie is offering his world famous Bring It facilitator training at jamiecatto.com/bringit

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Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, ⁠Jamie Catto (⁠Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gifted) and⁠ Neil Morbey ⁠(Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support.

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to ⁠neil@positively-mindful.com⁠ and jamie@jamiecatto.com

In this episode we summarise our own intense summers of learning, growth and processing of relationships and explore more nuggets of Jamie and Neil wisdom and mixed opinions.

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Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, ⁠⁠Jamie Catto (⁠⁠Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gifted) and⁠⁠ Neil Morbey ⁠⁠(Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to ⁠⁠neil@positively-mindful.com⁠⁠ and jamie@jamiecatto.com 

In this episode we meander between subjects including death, kink, daughters, parenting, going deeper into relationships consciousness and opportunities cloaked as disaster. Little nuggets of Jamie and Neil wisdom lie within, we think.

To come to Neil's in-person workshop in Bristol: 2024: April 27th:  Blindfolded Sensation Seeking

Where you'll get to experience being blindfolded for hours and re-sensitizing your body to smell, taste, sound and touch in a lovely, safe and playful group setting.

Also Neil just began a new online course, which you can still join (we've done week 1, but you can re-watch it): 2024: April 9th: 12-Week Course: Building Secure Attachments.

Jamie is offering his world famous Bring It facilitator training at jamiecatto.com/bringit

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Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, ⁠Jamie Catto (⁠Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gifted) and⁠ Neil Morbey ⁠(Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to ⁠neil@positively-mindful.com⁠ and jamie@jamiecatto.com 

This episode is HOT!

We loved to talk about desire and pleasure and we know you'll get a lot from this one. If you're interested to work with Neil or Jamie in groups or 1:1 click to connect with us. Enjoy us talking about:

• Losing respect for people who love us as a result of low self-esteem
• The power of someone believing in you
• Receiving love, praise and pleasure
• Design flaw no1. We de-value availability and value scarcity. We take things for granted. We get hooked on mixed message people!
• Practicing letting in feedback
• Being embarrassed about our desires
• Practicing saying "You're welcome" and owning our work
• Receiving sexual pleasure as a choice - taking it in turns to wash each others feet with eye contact
• Neil's Birthday experience of receiving
• How much noise do we make - is this manipulation?
• Playing with shadows - Caring Kink - eroticising being punished
• Slowing down and building trust before rushing to kink
• Neil shares how he nearly died by rushing in!
• Maintaining erotic energy in long term relationships (Esther Perell - Mating In Captivity)
• How much to share, how boundaries begin with our own brain and mouth
• Using attunement to discern projection from truth
• Design flaw of humans no2. When we need our wits about us are usually the times when its the hardest

• Need vs Longing - using NVC effectively
• Desire is the root of suffering - only when its overly attached to outcome
• Embracing boredom - Feeling fulfilled in ourselves
• Chocolate Mouse as a magical substance

...And so much more!

Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2024

In this podcast, ⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Catto (⁠⁠⁠⁠Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gifted) and⁠⁠⁠⁠ Neil Morbey ⁠⁠⁠⁠(Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to ⁠⁠⁠⁠neil@positively-mindful.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ and jamie@jamiecatto.com

We are back, after a few months pause. In this episode we discuss: Learned Secure Attachment

• Neil's changing attachment strategies
• Over-Sharing vs Mutual Care
• Emotional dumping, lubricating with logic
• Speech, language our lens of awareness
• Deserving and privilege
• Helping ourselves and others from Victim mindset using tentative offerings
• Rupture and repair
• Labelling and pigeon-hole-ing
• Triggers
• The damage of having your phone on you
• Asking what kind of response the other wants
• Conditional love and holding the other to ransom - Responsibility fascism
• Too much expectation vs having clear standards

- Workshops, courses and 1:1 coaching at ⁠⁠Positively-Mindful.com: ⁠⁠ by Neil Morbey

- Courses and other offerings at ⁠⁠jamiecatto.com ⁠⁠by Jamie Catto

Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2024

In this podcast, ⁠⁠⁠Jamie Catto (⁠⁠⁠Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gifted) and⁠⁠⁠ Neil Morbey ⁠⁠⁠(Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to ⁠⁠⁠neil@positively-mindful.com⁠⁠⁠ and jamie@jamiecatto.com

What is a reasonable request and how do we make them? Where is the balance between expressing our feelings and needs vs controlling another's actions? We explore these questions in our conversational style as we reflect on our own relationship adventures, requests, boundaries...

Some references in the podcast:

- Love Languages by Gary Chapman, adapted by Neil into his 6 love languages: ⁠HEARTS⁠

- ⁠WILD ⁠- adapted from Non Violent Communication

- Workshops, courses and 1:1 coaching at ⁠Positively-Mindful.com: ⁠ by Neil Morbey

- Courses and other offerings at ⁠jamiecatto.com ⁠by Jamie Catto

- Jamie Catto's 5-month adventure jamiecatto.com/gamechanger

Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, ⁠Jamie Catto (⁠Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gitfted) and⁠ Neil Morbey ⁠(Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimicacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to ⁠neil@positively-mindful.com⁠ and jamie@jamiecatto.com 

Where is the line between healthy support and co-dependence? Can we reasonably put restrictions on our partner's behaviour? Can we expect our partners to care for us, including our own 'inner children'? How do we become a team and work together well?

These are some of the questions we explore in this episode of the podcast (in rough order, so you can skip through and find them)

- Dangers of labels and diagnosis

- Wise Kind Adult vs Triggered Child

- Taking time outs in difficult conversations, with a clear re-connection time

- The power of eye contact and touch

- Valuing vulnerability and empathy

- Three key questions to bring us back into our Wise Kind Adult (Fear, Desire, Love)

- Supporting each other's inner children

- Boundaries as part of care and love (halfway through podcast)

- The role of anger

- Trust, dependence and support

- Agreements and Restrictions

- Traumatsing vs discomfort

- Protecting our partners like a beast

- Promoting safety and communicating discomforts isn't weak

Things and people we referenced in the podcast

• Esther Peral: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esther_Perel
• Stan Tatkin: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stan_Tatkin
• The Yes Brain Book: https://drdansiegel.com/book/the-yes-brain/
• Jamie's Work: https://www.jamiecatto.com/
• Neil's 8-Week Online Course: Building Secure Attachments: https://www.positively-mindful.com/groups.html
• Neil's blog about re-parenting: https://www.positively-mindful.com/blog/reschooling-and-reparenting-heal-and-train-yourself-like-a-kitten

Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, Jamie Catto (Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gitfted) and Neil Morbey (Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimicacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to neil@positively-mindful.com and jamie@jamiecatto.com 

Gentle Village #003: Holding our Triggers, Building Trust

In episode three, we delve deep into the nuance of triggers, and attachment styles. We ask ourselves the question: How do we hold space for others and ourselves when we are triggered? What helps us in conflicts?

Some references in the podcast:

- Neil's upcoming 8-week course: Building Secure Relationships

- Jamie’s Book and Course, Insanely Gifted and the Self-Care Manual and his upcoming course Bring It Teacher Training

Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, Jamie Catto (Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gitfted) and Neil Morbey (Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimicacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support.

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to neil@positively-mindful.com and jamie@jamiecatto.com

Gentle Village #002:
In episode one, we introduce ourselves and take a personal look at the topics of challenges, triggers, and attachment styles. We ask ourselves the questions: What are our biggest challenges in relationships? What does each 'attachment style' need to do for itself and need to receive in a relationship? How is it for us?

Some references in the podcast:

- Neil's upcoming 8-week course: Building Secure Relationships

- Non-Violent Communication, by Marshall Rosenberg

- WIN model by David Wolf (Relationships that Work)

- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

- Jem Ayres, Orgasmic Employment Practitioner (Who is your team?)

- Neil’s Repairative SORRY model

- Jamie’s Book and Course, Insanely Gifted and the Self-Care Manual

Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, Jamie Catto (Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gitfted) and Neil Morbey (Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimicacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to neil@positively-mindful.com and jamie@jamiecatto.com 

Gentle Village #1: Attachment Styles - Inner Child:
In episode one, we introduce ourselves and take a personal look at the topics of challenges, triggers, and attachment styles. We ask ourselves the questions: What are our biggest challenges in relationships? What does each 'attachment style' need to do for itself and need to receive in a relationship? How is it for us?

Some references in the podcast:

- Conversations With God, by Neale Donald Walsch

- Anxious-Avoidant (Disorganised) Style - Spice of Life by Brianna MacWilliams

- '"That's nothing!" Game by Dave Rock

- The Orgasmic Arc, by Genevieve Genevieve