Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast The Gay Monogamy Coach.
| Titre | Date | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Emotional Resilience — Bouncing back from a string of bad dates. | 26 Apr 2026 | 00:11:42 | |
“Emotional resilience: Bouncing back from a string of bad dates." There’s a particular expression men get after a run of bad dates — not despair, not anger, but that quiet, resigned exhale your script describes so perfectly: “the kind a man makes when he opens the fridge and realises he’s out of milk again.” It’s the look of a grown man who’s emotionally intelligent, self‑aware, and frankly tired of hearing about someone’s ex, gym routine, or star sign for the third date in a row. In this episode of The Gay Monogamy Coach, Alan Cox explores emotional resilience in dating — not the glossy, motivational kind, but the grounded, grown‑man kind that helps you bounce back without turning disappointment into self‑blame. Through vivid, often hilarious client stories — Jonathan’s “biblical run of bad dates,” Peter’s sixth sense for emotional unavailability, Michael treating every bad date like “a referendum on my entire personality” — Alan reveals how even the most stable men can start to wonder whether they’re the common denominator. This episode introduces two powerful CBT tools: The Emotional Autopsy, which separates facts from the harsh stories men tell themselves, and The Resilience Reset, a structured pause that restores emotional equilibrium. As Oliver, 48, puts it: “A bad date doesn’t mean I’m failing. It just means I’m filtering.” If you’re a gay man in midlife who’s tired, discouraged, or quietly irritated by the dating process, this episode offers clarity, humour, and a grounded path back to confidence. 🎧 Music: “Going Somewhere Good” by Rest and Settle 📞 Discovery Calls: +44 20 4509 9804 📧 empoweringgaymen@gmail.com 🌈 patreon.com/empoweringgaymen Hashtags: #GayDating #GayMenOver40 #GayMenOver50 #GayMenOver60 #EmotionalResilience #DatingFatigue #GayMonogamyCoach #CBTTools #MidlifeDating #LGBTQPodcast #GayCoaching | |||
| Core Beliefs — Healing the “I’m unlovable” narrative. | 26 Apr 2026 | 00:14:05 | |
Even the most accomplished gay men can carry an invisible story — one that quietly whispers, “I’m unlovable.” You’ll hear how men in their forties, fifties, and sixties have transformed their dating lives by healing the deeper wound — moving from earning love to receiving it. This is the shift from usefulness to worthiness, from auditioning to belonging. If you’ve ever felt unseen, undervalued, or stuck in the same dating patterns, this episode will help you understand why — and how to change it. 🎧 Listen now and start your transformation. | |||
| Holiday refresh. | 20 Dec 2025 | 00:11:18 | |
Tired of Holiday Tension? Reconnect with Your Partner. Are the holidays straining your relationship? "Holiday Refresh" addresses the unique pressures faced by gay professional men during the festive season. Learn how to set boundaries, communicate openly, and prioritize self-care. Alan Cox provides actionable strategies to transform stress into connection. Listen now and reclaim your joy! | |||
| Couples at Christmas: Reclaiming joy and connection in your relationship. | 19 Dec 2025 | 00:13:14 | |
Couples at Christmas: Reclaiming joy and connection in your relationship. Is the holiday season feeling more like a pressure cooker than a Hallmark movie? Join Alan Cox, The Monogamy Coach (ICF-accredited life coach, CBT practitioner, and author), as he tackles the realities of navigating relationships during the most stressful time of year. In this episode, Alan dives deep into the common stressors that can derail your connection, from tricky family dynamics and tight budgets to mismatched expectations. Drawing on his experience working with couples like Ben and Tom, he unveils practical, actionable strategies to not just survive the holidays, but truly thrive. Discover how to recognize stress patterns, use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques to break negative cycles, and proactively nurture intimacy and joy in your relationship. Learn the power of dedicated "couple time," clear communication, and expressing heartfelt appreciation. Ready to reclaim the magic of the season and create a holiday experience that strengthens your relationship instead of tearing it apart? Tune in for invaluable insights and practical exercises you can implement today! If you're ready to create a thriving, long-term relationship filled with love and joy, Alan invites you to book a complimentary discovery call. Email empoweringgaymen@gmail.com and mention "Podcast Discovery Call" to schedule your session. Plus, don't miss the weekly Zoom workshops on Tuesdays at 7pm GMT! Connect with Alan Cox:
(Music: ‘The merriest time of year’ by Shimmer) | |||
| Family tables & real talk: Staying true to you this holiday season. | 18 Dec 2025 | 00:14:52 | |
Tired of holiday dinners feeling like a test of your identity? 😩 Join Alan Cox, accredited gay life coach and author of The Gay Monogamy Coach, as he dives into navigating tricky family dynamics without losing yourself. Learn practical CBT techniques to shift negative thoughts, set boundaries, and reclaim your voice at the table. This episode is for gay men ready to move past short-term dating and create lasting, meaningful relationships. Discover how to define success on your own terms and leave the holidays feeling empowered, not drained. 💪 Ready for a change? Email empoweringgaymen@gmail.com with "Podcast Discovery Call" to book a free call and design a coaching plan that helps you create lasting change. Available on all good hosting sites. | |||
| Conquering holiday loneliness. | 17 Dec 2025 | 00:07:35 | |
Conquering holiday loneliness: A gay men's guide to thriving. Holidays stressing you out? Especially as a gay man? Feeling like everyone else has it figured out, and you're just... on the sidelines? Alan Cox totally gets it. In this episode of The Gay Monogamy Coach, he dives deep into the stuff that makes the holidays particularly tricky for us. He's not just throwing out generic advice – he's talking about our unique challenges. Using a powerful combo of CBT and coaching, Alan helps you kick those negative thoughts to the curb, build your confidence, and create real, genuine connections. Discover how to flip the script and turn feelings of isolation into opportunities for self-care, amazing friendships, and maybe even a little holiday magic. Seriously, listen now and start creating a holiday story you actually want to be a part of – you've so got this! | |||
| 5. The Comparison Trap: Social media and relationship expectations. | 02 Jul 2025 | 00:17:40 | |
Episode 5: The Comparison Trap – Social media and relationship expectations. You’ll discover:
Whether you’re single, dating, or already partnered, this episode will help you shift from performing for social media to truly living your relationship. Are you ready to build a love life that’s authentic, not just aesthetic? Book a free discovery call with Alan: empoweringgaymen@gmail.com
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| 4. Redefining masculinity in gay relationships. | 02 Jul 2025 | 00:13:53 | |
Episode 4: Redefining Masculinity in Gay Relationships. Are you tired of the cycle of hookups and emotionally unavailable men? Do you crave deep connection but find yourself pulling away just when things get serious? In this powerful episode, gay life coach and CBT practitioner Alan Cox breaks down how toxic masculinity sabotages emotional intimacy in gay relationships—and what you can do about it. Drawing from both personal experience and years of coaching successful, intelligent gay men, Alan exposes the unconscious scripts that keep us guarded, distant, and ultimately unfulfilled. Key Topics Covered:
Your Challenge: Have one truly vulnerable conversation this week. It could change everything. For Listeners Ready to Transform: 📞 Book a free discovery call by emailing: empoweringgaymen@gmail.com
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| 3. "The Fear of Commitment: What's really underneath." | 02 Jul 2025 | 00:22:29 | |
"The Fear of Commitment: What's Really Underneath" If you've ever found yourself lying awake at 2 AM, your heart racing because the amazing guy you've been seeing just used the word "future" in a sentence about the two of you... this episode is for you. Maybe you've been here before: You meet someone incredible. The connection is electric. The sex is mind-blowing. You actually enjoy spending time together clothed. For the first time in years, you can imagine what "settling down" might look like. But then something shifts. That familiar panic creeps in. Your mind starts flooding with "what ifs." What if he gets bored? What if I lose myself? What if I'm not cut out for this? What if, what if, what if... And before you know it, you're picking fights, creating distance, or worse – you're on the apps again, convincing yourself that maybe you're just "not the relationship type." Sound familiar? Here's what I want you to know: You're not broken. You're not commitment-phobic. You're not destined to be alone. What you're experiencing is your nervous system trying to protect you from perceived danger – and with the right understanding and tools, you can learn to feel safe in love. I'm Alan Cox, your host and an ICF-accredited gay life coach who specializes in helping successful gay men like you move beyond the endless cycle of casual hookups and build the meaningful, committed relationships you actually want. I've walked this exact path myself, and I've guided hundreds of men from fear to freedom in love. Today, we're going deep. We're not just talking about commitment fears – we're exploring what's really underneath them. I'll share the specific attachment patterns that keep gay men stuck, the cognitive distortions that fuel your anxiety, and most importantly, the practical tools that will help you move through these fears instead of being controlled by them. You'll discover why your brain treats commitment like a threat, how your early experiences shaped your relationship blueprint, and the step-by-step process to rewire your nervous system for love and connection. But here's what makes this different from every other relationship podcast you've tried: I'm not just giving you generic advice. As a gay man who's done this work professionally and personally, I understand the unique challenges we face – the lack of relationship role models, the impact of minority stress, the way societal rejection can make us reject ourselves first. By the end of this episode, you'll have a clear roadmap for transforming your relationship with commitment. You'll understand your patterns, you'll have tools to work with your fears, and you'll know exactly what steps to take next. If you're tired of your own patterns, if you're ready to stop sabotaging good things, and if you're serious about building the committed relationship you've always wanted – stay with me. This conversation could change everything. Ready to transform your relationship with commitment? Let's dive in... Contact Information:
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| 2. "Breaking the Hookup Addiction: Understanding your patterns." | 26 Jun 2025 | 00:14:46 | |
In this episode, the gay ICF-accredited Life Coach, CBT Practitioner and author Alan Cox, explores some of the reasons that are preventing gay men from achieving the committed relationship that they would like and how the hook up culture affects them. | |||
| 1. The Monogamy blueprint. | 11 May 2025 | 00:20:52 | |
Episode Summary In this inaugural episode, Alan Cox introduces the concept of the "Monogamy Blueprint" - a framework for gay men to consciously design committed relationships that align with their authentic values and desires. Key Topics Explored Who This Podcast Is For
The Seven Cornerstones of the Monogamy Blueprint 1. Conscious Definition
2. Cultural Context
3. Motivation Clarity
4. Needs Assessment
5. Sustainable Agreements
6. Identity Integration
7. Growth Orientation
Practical Exercises
Resources Mentioned
Connect With Alan
Episode Music
The Gay Monogamy Coach Podcast explores the unique challenges and opportunities of monogamous relationships for gay men, providing insights, strategies, and permission to choose what | |||
| From Casual to Committed. Chapter 9: Planning for the future. | 08 Apr 2025 | 00:31:41 | |
Welcome to ‘Empowering Gay Men the Podcast’. This is the fifth episode that marks a change from the usual format and indeed a huge move from the focus pf my work. I became an ICF-accredited Life Coach and CBT Practitioner with the aim of working with just gay men and that is what I did. I specialised in tackling the major issues that affect gay men, particularly those in mid-life, such as internalised homophobia and coming out. I had presumed that those two areas were those that stopped men reaching their true potential. But the downloads from the episodes didn’t back that up. Instead, the most popular episodes were those that were looking at relationships and how to recover from the breakup of a relationship. What did that indicate? Firstly, that gay men were interested in relationships. Media is quite adept at portraying gay men as being more promiscuous than their straight counterparts. Or it highlights things such as ‘throppling’ as a way of showing us in a bad light. Yet, when I carried out research it indicated that there was a huge interest in monogamy. I started looking at why gay men were interested in a committed relationship and also why many were not able to achieve one. And guess what – internalised homophobia came out as one of the major reasons as well as self-acceptance and a lack of identity. Therefore, all the previous work I had carried out – the writing and more than 61 episodes of this podcast was still valid but needed to be more appropriately channelled. And that’s what I did. I devised coaching programmes that directly address the way how gay men can overcome the obstacles that deny them their desired outcome – a monogamous relationship. One thing was clear and that was that for gay men to reach a position of achieving a monogamous relationship they had to start by loving themselves first and that wasn’t a gushy ‘Oh bless’ sentiment but a real acceptance of themselves. i But in order to reach that goal, an inner transformation had to take place and this occurs over three different stages: The struggle – Feeling unfulfilled, stuck to casual dating cycles. The breakthrough – Understanding yourself; your values and challenging disempowering beliefs. The transformation – Finding authentic connection and long-term commitment. So today you will be listening to: Chapter 9: Planning for the future. If you want to access the whole book then you will need to buy it via Amazon or Kindle. I work as an ICF-accredited Life Coach and trained through an organisation called Coaching Masters. If you are also interested in a career in Life Coaching then I would recommend them. There are referral links in the transcript if you would like to contact them. https://thecoachingmasters.com/exclusive-masterclass/c/0u4jf https://thecoachingmasters.com/membership/c/0u4jf And if you’re interested in developing a podcast then I would recommend Buzzsprout. Why not use the referral code that is in the transcript? https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2318357 In the meantime, please feel free to contact me on: gaymonogamycoach@gmail.com Wishing you all the very best. Credits: The music is La Nouvelle Lune by Reveille. | |||
| Imposter Syndrome in Dating — Feeling “Not Gay Enough” or “Too Gay’” | 21 Apr 2026 | 00:12:34 | |
So many gay men — even the confident, successful, emotionally intelligent ones — step into the dating world and suddenly feel like they’re performing a role they were never trained for. In this episode of The Gay Monogamy Coach, Alan Cox explores a quiet but universal experience among gay men in midlife: imposter syndrome in dating, the feeling of being “not gay enough,” “too gay,” or simply “the wrong kind of gay.” Drawing from years of coaching and lived experience, Alan unpacks the subtle pressures that shape how men present themselves on dates — the shirt that must signal the “right” masculinity, the laugh that must be calibrated, the voice that must be adjusted. As one client put it, “I felt like I was doing an impression of myself doing an impression of a man who goes camping.” Another admitted he spent an entire date trying to decide whether to laugh more or less. Through powerful client stories — from Adrian’s self‑monitoring, to Marcus lowering his voice to order a drink, to Stephen feeling “too gay for the masc guys and too masc for the gay guys” — this episode reveals how deeply these identity anxieties run, and how common they truly are. Alan introduces two grounding CBT tools, The Identity Debrief and The Authenticity Check‑In, designed to help men interrupt the performance, challenge impossible expectations, and reconnect with the version of themselves that feels real, unedited, and emotionally available. If you’ve ever felt like you’re “doing gay wrong,” this episode offers relief, clarity, and a path back to authenticity. As Daniel, 56, beautifully put it: “I finally understood that there’s no such thing as ‘gay enough.’ There’s just me.” 🎧 Music: “Wishful Thinking” by Pala | |||
| From Casual to Committed. Chapter 7: Building a Solid Foundation. | 01 Apr 2025 | 00:28:21 | |
Welcome to ‘Empowering Gay Men the Podcast’. This is the fourth episode that marks a change from the usual format and indeed a huge move from the focus pf my work. I became an ICF-accredited Life Coach and CBT Practitioner with the aim of working with just gay men and that is what I did. I specialised in tackling the major issues that affect gay men, particularly those in mid-life, such as internalised homophobia and coming out. I had presumed that those two areas were those that stopped men reaching their true potential. But the downloads from the episodes didn’t back that up. Instead, the most popular episodes were those that were looking at relationships and how to recover from the breakup of a relationship. What did that indicate? Firstly, that gay men were interested in relationships. Media is quite adept at portraying gay men as being more promiscuous than their straight counterparts. Or it highlights things such as ‘throppling’ as a way of showing us in a bad light. Yet, when I carried out research it indicated that there was a huge interest in monogamy. I started looking at why gay men were interested in a committed relationship and also why many were not able to achieve one. And guess what – internalised homophobia came out as one of the major reasons as well as self-acceptance and a lack of identity. Therefore, all the previous work I had carried out – the writing and more than 61 episodes of this podcast was still valid but needed to be more appropriately channelled. And that’s what I did. I devised coaching programmes that directly address the way how gay men can overcome the obstacles that deny them their desired outcome – a monogamous relationship. One thing was clear and that was that for gay men to reach a position of achieving a monogamous relationship they had to start by loving themselves first and that wasn’t a gushy ‘Oh bless’ sentiment but a real acceptance of themselves. i But in order to reach that goal, an inner transformation had to take place and this occurs over three different stages: The struggle – Feeling unfulfilled, stuck to casual dating cycles. The breakthrough – Understanding yourself; your values and challenging disempowering beliefs. The transformation – Finding authentic connection and long-term commitment. So today you will be listening to Chapter 7. Building a solid foundation.
I will release further chapters but if you want to access the whole book then you will need to buy it via Amazon or Kindle. I work as an ICF-accredited Life Coach and trained through an organisation called Coaching Masters. If you are also interested in a career in Life Coaching then I would recommend them. There are referral links in the transcript if you would like to contact them. https://thecoachingmasters.com/exclusive-masterclass/c/0u4jf https://thecoachingmasters.com/membership/c/0u4jf And if you’re interested in developing a podcast then I would recommend Buzzsprout. Why not use the referral code that is in the transcript? https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2318357 In the meantime, please feel free to contact me on: gaymonogamycoach@gmail.com And if you have enjoyed this episode then why not consider supporting me in the work I do by becoming a sponsor? You can do so via Buzzsprout for as little as $3.00. Their website is: Wishing you all the very best. Credits: The music is La Nouvelle Lune by Reveille. | |||
| From Casual to Committed. Chapter 5. Communication skills for connection. | 31 Mar 2025 | 00:28:03 | |
Welcome to ‘Empowering Gay Men the Podcast’. This is the second episode that marks a change from the usual format and indeed a huge move from the focus pf my work. I became an ICF-accredited Life Coach and CBT Practitioner with the aim of working with just gay men and that is what I did. I specialised in tackling the major issues that affect gay men, particularly those in mid-life, such as internalised homophobia and coming out. I had presumed that those two areas were those that stopped men reaching their true potential. But the downloads from the episodes didn’t back that up. Instead, the most popular episodes were those that were looking at relationships and how to recover from the breakup of a relationship. What did that indicate? Firstly, that gay men were interested in relationships. Media is quite adept at portraying gay men as being more promiscuous than their straight counterparts. Or it highlights things such as ‘throppling’ as a way of showing us in a bad light. Yet, when I carried out research it indicated that there was a huge interest in monogamy. I started looking at why gay men were interested in a committed relationship and also why many were not able to achieve one. And guess what – internalised homophobia came out as one of the major reasons as well as self-acceptance and a lack of identity. Therefore, all the previous work I had carried out – the writing and more than 61 episodes of this podcast was still valid but needed to be more appropriately channelled. And that’s what I did. I devised coaching programmes that directly address the way how gay men can overcome the obstacles that deny them their desired outcome – a monogamous relationship. One thing was clear and that was that for gay men to reach a position of achieving a monogamous relationship they had to start by loving themselves first and that wasn’t a gushy ‘Oh bless’ sentiment but a real acceptance of themselves. i But in order to reach that goal, an inner transformation had to take place and this occurs over three different stages: The struggle – Feeling unfulfilled, stuck to casual dating cycles. The breakthrough – Understanding yourself; your values and challenging disempowering beliefs. The transformation – Finding authentic connection and long-term commitment. So today you will be listening to Chapter 3. Chapter 3: The mindset shift. I will release further chapters but if you want to access the whole book then you will need to buy it via Amazon or Kindle. I work as an ICF-accredited Life Coach and trained through an organisation called Coaching Masters. If you are also interested in a career in Life Coaching then I would recommend them. There are referral links in the transcript if you would like to contact them. https://thecoachingmasters.com/exclusive-masterclass/c/0u4jf https://thecoachingmasters.com/membership/c/0u4jf And if you’re interested in developing a podcast then I would recommend Buzzsprout. Why not use the referral code that is in the transcript? https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2318357 In the meantime, please feel free to contact me on: gaymonogamycoach@gmail.com And if you have enjoyed this episode then why not consider supporting me in the work I do by becoming a sponsor? You can do so via Buzzsprout for as little as $3.00. Their website is: Wishing you all the very best. Credits: The music is La Nouvelle Lune | |||
| From Casual to Committed. Chapter 3. The mindset shift. | 29 Mar 2025 | 00:19:39 | |
Welcome to ‘Empowering Gay Men the Podcast’. This is the second episode that marks a change from the usual format and indeed a huge move from the focus pf my work. I became an ICF-accredited Life Coach and CBT Practitioner with the aim of working with just gay men and that is what I did. I specialised in tackling the major issues that affect gay men, particularly those in mid-life, such as internalised homophobia and coming out. I had presumed that those two areas were those that stopped men reaching their true potential. But the downloads from the episodes didn’t back that up. Instead, the most popular episodes were those that were looking at relationships and how to recover from the breakup of a relationship. What did that indicate? Firstly, that gay men were interested in relationships. Media is quite adept at portraying gay men as being more promiscuous than their straight counterparts. Or it highlights things such as ‘throppling’ as a way of showing us in a bad light. Yet, when I carried out research it indicated that there was a huge interest in monogamy. I started looking at why gay men were interested in a committed relationship and also why many were not able to achieve one. And guess what – internalised homophobia came out as one of the major reasons as well as self-acceptance and a lack of identity. Therefore, all the previous work I had carried out – the writing and more than 61 episodes of this podcast was still valid but needed to be more appropriately channelled. And that’s what I did. I devised coaching programmes that directly address the way how gay men can overcome the obstacles that deny them their desired outcome – a monogamous relationship. One thing was clear and that was that for gay men to reach a position of achieving a monogamous relationship they had to start by loving themselves first and that wasn’t a gushy ‘Oh bless’ sentiment but a real acceptance of themselves. i But in order to reach that goal, an inner transformation had to take place and this occurs over three different stages: The struggle – Feeling unfulfilled, stuck to casual dating cycles. The breakthrough – Understanding yourself; your values and challenging disempowering beliefs. The transformation – Finding authentic connection and long-term commitment. So today you will be listening to Chapter 3. Chapter 3: The mindset shift. I will release further chapters but if you want to access the whole book then you will need to buy it via Amazon or Kindle. I work as an ICF-accredited Life Coach and trained through an organisation called Coaching Masters. If you are also interested in a career in Life Coaching then I would recommend them. There are referral links in the transcript if you would like to contact them. https://thecoachingmasters.com/exclusive-masterclass/c/0u4jf https://thecoachingmasters.com/membership/c/0u4jf And if you’re interested in developing a podcast then I would recommend Buzzsprout. Why not use the referral code that is in the transcript? https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2318357 In the meantime, please feel free to contact me on: gaymonogamycoach@gmail.com And if you have enjoyed this episode then why not consider supporting me in the work I do by becoming a sponsor? You can do so via Buzzsprout for as little as $3.00. Their website is: Wishing you all the very best. Credits: The music is 'La Nouvelle | |||
| From Casual to Committed. Chapter 1: Understanding your relationship goals. | 27 Mar 2025 | 00:13:20 | |
Welcome to ‘Empowering Gay Men the Podcast’. Today marks a change from the usual format and indeed a huge move from the focus pf my work. I became an ICF-accredited Life Coach and CBT Practitioner with the aim of working with just gay men and that is what I did. I specialised in tackling the major issues that affect gay men, particularly those in mid-life, such as internalised homophobia and coming out. I had presumed that those two areas were those that stopped men reaching their true potential. But the downloads from the episodes didn’t back that up. Instead, the most popular episodes were those that were looking at relationships and how to recover from the breakup of a relationship. What did that indicate? Firstly, that gay men were interested in relationships. Media is quite adept at portraying gay men as being more promiscuous than their straight counterparts. Or it highlights things such as ‘throppling’ as a way of showing us in a bad light. Yet, when I carried out research it indicated that there was a huge interest in monogamy. I started looking at why gay men were interested in a committed relationship and also why many were not able to achieve one. And guess what – internalised homophobia came out as one of the major reasons as well as self-acceptance and a lack of identity. Therefore, all the previous work I had carried out – the writing and more than 61 episodes of this podcast was still valid but needed to be more appropriately channelled. And that’s what I did. I devised coaching programmes that directly address the way how gay men can overcome the obstacles that deny them their desired outcome – a monogamous relationship. One thing was clear and that was that for gay men to reach a position of achieving a monogamous relationship they had to start by loving themselves first and that wasn’t a gushy ‘Oh bless’ sentiment but a real acceptance of themselves. i But in order to reach that goal, an inner transformation had to take place and this occurs over three different stages: The struggle – Feeling unfulfilled, stuck to casual dating cycles. The breakthrough – Understanding yourself; your values and challenging disempowering beliefs. The transformation – Finding authentic connection and long-term commitment. So today you will be listening to Chapter 1. I will release further chapters but if you want to access the whole book then you will need to buy it via Amazon or Kindle. I work as an ICF-accredited Life Coach and trained through an organisation called Coaching Masters. If you are also interested in a career in Life Coaching then I would recommend them. There are referral links in the transcript if you would like to contact them. https://thecoachingmasters.com/exclusive-masterclass/c/0u4jf https://thecoachingmasters.com/membership/c/0u4jf And if you’re interested in developing a podcast then I would recommend Buzzsprout. Why not use the referral code that is in the transcript? https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2318357 In the meantime, please feel free to contact me on: gaymonogamycoach@gmail.com And if you have enjoyed this episode then why not consider supporting me in the work I do by becoming a sponsor? You can do so via Buzzsprout for as little as $3.00. Their website is: Wishing you all the very best. | |||
| Embracing aging with grace. | 22 Mar 2025 | 00:23:48 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ hosted by ICF-accredited Life Coach, Alan Cox. This podcast is a recording of the audiobook ‘Proud Declarations. Daily Affirmations for Gay Men’ my latest book. Episode 9: Embracing aging with grace. | |||
| Creating your affirmation manifesto. | 20 Mar 2025 | 00:22:36 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ hosted by ICF-accredited Life Coach, Alan Cox. ‘Proud Declarations. Daily Affirmations for Gay Men’ my latest book. This episode is a recording of Chapter ten. | |||
| Affirmations for mental well-being. | 19 Mar 2025 | 00:21:46 | |
This podcast is a recording of the audiobook: ‘Proud Declarations. Daily Affirmations for Gay Men’ my latest book. | |||
| Navigating career and success. | 17 Mar 2025 | 00:18:52 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ hosted by ICF-accredited Life Coach, Alan Cox. ‘Proud Declarations. Daily Affirmations for Gay Men’ my latest book. | |||
| Relationships and affirmations. | 16 Mar 2025 | 00:18:16 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ hosted by ICF-accredited Life Coach, Alan Cox. ‘Proud Declarations. Daily Affirmations for Gay Men’ my latest book. This episode is a recording of Chapter six. Episode 6: Relationships and affirmations. | |||
| Building resilience. | 14 Mar 2025 | 00:18:26 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ hosted by ICF-accredited Life Coach, Alan Cox. ‘Proud Declarations. Daily Affirmations for Gay Men’ my latest book. | |||
| The “Golden Boy” Syndrome — letting go of the need to please everyone. | 17 Apr 2026 | 00:13:27 | |
Many gay men spend decades being “the good one” — the reliable one, the agreeable one, the man who smooths things over and never rocks the boat. It looks like politeness. It looks like competence. It looks like success. But underneath, it often hides something much heavier: a lifelong habit of people‑pleasing that slowly erodes authenticity, boundaries, and emotional freedom. In this episode of The Gay Monogamy Coach, Alan Cox explores what he calls The Golden Boy Syndrome — the quiet, socially rewarded pattern of trying to please everyone, even when it costs you yourself. As one client put it, “I think I’ve spent my whole life trying to be the man everyone else needed me to be. And I’m exhausted. I feel like a well‑dressed doormat.” Through powerful client stories and CBT‑based insights, Alan unpacks how Golden Boy conditioning forms, why it persists into midlife, and how it silently sabotages dating, intimacy, and monogamy. You’ll hear about men who apologised more than they breathed, men who dated like they were presenting a LinkedIn profile, and men who realised they’d been performing instead of living. This episode guides listeners through the shift from “I need to be liked” to “I want to be known.” From emotional dependence to emotional independence. From performing to belonging. If you’re a gay man in your 40s, 50s, or 60s who’s tired of being the dependable one, the impressive one, the agreeable one — and ready to be the real one — this episode offers clarity, relief, and a path forward. 🎧 Music: “Wishful Thinking” by Pala. 📞 Book your discovery call: +44 20 4509 9804 📧 empoweringgaymen@gmail.com 🌈 patreon.com/empoweringgaymen | |||
| Affirmations for self-love. | 11 Mar 2025 | 00:18:02 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ hosted by ICF-accredited Life Coach, Alan Cox. | |||
| Daily affirmation practices. | 09 Mar 2025 | 00:17:07 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ hosted by ICF-accredited Life Coach, Alan Cox. | |||
| Embracing your identity. | 07 Mar 2025 | 00:16:00 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ hosted by ICF-accredited Life Coach, Alan Cox. | |||
| Proud Declarations. Daily Affirmations for Gay Me - the Introduction.’ | 06 Mar 2025 | 00:06:53 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ hosted by ICF-accredited Life Coach, Alan Cox. ‘Proud Declarations. Daily Affirmations for Gay Men’ my latest book. This episode is a recording of the introduction. | |||
| Understanding affirmations. | 06 Mar 2025 | 00:16:00 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ hosted by ICF-accredited Life Coach, Alan Cox. | |||
| Empowering Gay Men.’ Chapter twelve from: "The Empowered Mind: Building Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness for Gay Men." | 26 Feb 2025 | 00:15:35 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men.’ | |||
| Empowering Gay Men: Chapter 11. "The Empowered Mind: Building Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness for Gay Men." | 25 Feb 2025 | 00:16:18 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men.’ | |||
| Empowering Gay Men: Chapter 10. "The Empowered Mind: Building Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness for Gay Men." | 20 Feb 2025 | 00:17:20 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men.’ | |||
| Empowering Gay Men: Chapter 9. "The Empowered Mind: Building Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness for Gay Men." | 20 Feb 2025 | 00:17:43 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men.’ | |||
| Empowering Gay Men: Chapter 8. "The Empowered Mind: Bulding Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness for Gay Men." | 19 Feb 2025 | 00:16:50 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men.’ | |||
| Internalized homophobia — The silent saboteur of monogamy. | 16 Apr 2026 | 00:10:44 | |
Why do so many grounded, successful gay men still find themselves hesitating at the edge of the relationships they say they want? In this episode of The Gay Monogamy Coach, Alan Cox explores one of the most overlooked forces shaping modern gay relationships: internalized homophobia — not the loud kind, but the quiet kind that hides in the pauses. Alan works with gay men who have built rich, meaningful lives yet still feel a subtle misalignment in their dating patterns — a door that almost closes but never quite clicks. Through real client stories and decades of coaching insight, he unpacks how internalized homophobia can disguise itself as independence, perfectionism, emotional distance, or the habit of choosing men who can’t choose you back. You’ll hear how beliefs absorbed long before adulthood can shape monogamy in unexpected ways: • Pulling away just as things get real • Confusing emotional intimacy with danger • Mistaking self‑protection for high standards • Interpreting conflict as instability • Believing you’re lovable only under certain conditions Alan reveals how these patterns often stem not from fear of commitment, but from fear of being seen — truly, vulnerably seen. And he shows how understanding these roots with compassion (not self‑criticism) can shift everything. If you’re a professional gay man who wants monogamy but feels something inside you quietly resisting it, this episode offers clarity, relief, and a path forward. You’ll learn why these patterns form, how they sabotage connection, and what it takes to build the kind of relationship that feels like home. Alan also shares how he uses an AI assistant team from Marblism to stay focused on clients rather than admin — and how you can build your own AI support system with his link for a lifetime discount. Ready to stop letting old beliefs shape your future? Book a discovery call: +44 20 4509 9804 Email: empoweringgaymen@gmail.com Join the community: Patreon.com/empoweringgaymen Music: “Wishful Thinking” by Pala. | |||
| Empowering Gay Men: Chapter 7. "The Empowered Mind: Bulding Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness for Gay Men." | 13 Feb 2025 | 00:14:19 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men.’ Chapter 7: Setting goals and taking action. | |||
| Empowering Gay Men: Chapter 6 "The Empowered Mind: Bulding Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness for Gay Men." | 11 Feb 2025 | 00:14:43 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men.’
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| Empowering Gay Men: Chapter 5 "The Empowered Mind: Bulding Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness for Gay Men." | 10 Feb 2025 | 00:14:58 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men.’
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| Empowering Gay Men: Chapter 4 "The Empowered Mind: Building Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness for Gay Men." | 08 Feb 2025 | 00:15:35 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men.’ Chapter 4: Embracing your identity. | |||
| Empowering Gay Men: Chapter 3 "The Empowered Mind: Building Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness for Gay Men." | 06 Feb 2025 | 00:17:52 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men.’ | |||
| Empowering Gay Men. Chapter two of: "The Empowered Mind: Building Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness for Gay Men." | 04 Feb 2025 | 00:18:24 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men.’ | |||
| The Empowered Mind: Building Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness for Gay Men | 04 Feb 2025 | 00:17:51 | |
Welcome to the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men.’ | |||
| Empowering Gay Men: Rebuilding family bonds through professional life coaching. | 25 Jan 2025 | 00:14:42 | |
The last episode of the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ examined the issue of why families might react in an adverse way when their son comes out. | |||
| Family ties that unwind: Adverse reactions to coming out.. | 18 Jan 2025 | 00:15:19 | |
The latest episode of the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ examines the issue of older gay men coming out at work. | |||
| Tackling Coming Out at Work. | 13 Jan 2025 | 00:13:56 | |
The latest episode of the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ examines the issue of older gay men coming out at work. | |||
| Cognitive Reframing — Turning “I’m Alone” into “I’m Selecting.” | 16 Apr 2026 | 00:12:00 | |
Cognitive Reframing — Turning “I’m Alone” into “I’m Selecting.” At a certain point, the thought “I’m alone” starts to feel less like a passing observation and more like a quiet conclusion. Not dramatic. Not overwhelming. Just… there. In this episode, Alan explores how that thought—so convincing in the moment—is often not a fact, but an interpretation. And more importantly, one that can be changed. Drawing on his work as a life coach and CBT practitioner for gay men, Alan introduces the concept of cognitive reframing—the ability to shift from a mindset of scarcity and self-doubt into one of clarity, intention, and self-respect. Because the truth is, many successful gay men aren’t alone… they’re selective. And that distinction changes everything. Through real client insights and grounded reflection, you’ll begin to see how common patterns like “I’m behind,” “I’m unwanted,” or “something must be wrong with me” are often rooted in unexamined thinking rather than reality. This episode also includes two practical CBT-based exercises you can start using immediately:
If you’ve built a life that works—but still feels like something is missing—this episode will help you understand why, and more importantly, how to begin shifting it. Because the goal isn’t to force connection. Ready for something deeper? If you’re a professional gay man who’s tired of being single despite your success, Alan offers one-on-one coaching designed to help you build the kind of relationship that actually fits your life. 📞 Discovery Call: +44 20 4509 9804 You can also support the podcast and connect with a growing community of like-minded gay men: If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. | |||
| Coming Out at Work. | 13 Jan 2025 | 00:12:52 | |
The latest episode of the podcast ‘Empowering Gay Men’ examines the issue of older gay men coming out at work. | |||
| Addressing Toxic Masculinity. | 10 Jan 2025 | 00:11:37 | |
Alan Cox is an ICF-accredited Life Coach and CBT Practitioner and he's on a mission!
In the following episode, we will turn to look at how life coaching, particularly with a gay coach, can really help gay men tackle that toxicity and live a more fulfilled life. You can share your thoughts, your experiences, or simply your support on our Facebook page: Empowering Gay Men the Podcast. Together, we're creating a community of understanding, love, and acceptance. #ComingOutLater #GayMenStories #LiveAuthentic #gaylifecoaching #gaymen #gaypodcast https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2318357 | |||
| Coming Out Later in Life. | 04 Dec 2024 | 00:10:30 | |
Alan Cox is an ICF-accredited Life Coach and CBT Practitioner and he's on a mission! Many men have spent decades navigating societal expectations, family pressures, and internalized fears. Some were married, raising families, or working in conservative environments. Others simply needed time to understand and accept their own identity. The beautiful truth is that it's never too late to live authentically. In our upcoming episode, we'll dive deep into the transformative experiences of men who are coming out later in life. We'll explore the emotional landscape, discuss the challenges, and share inspiring stories of personal liberation. Plus, we'll introduce how life coaching can be a powerful tool in supporting this incredible journey of self-acceptance and empowerment. You can share your thoughts, your experiences, or simply your support on ourFacebookk page: Empowering Gay Men the Podcast. Together, we're creating a community of understanding, love, and acceptance. #ComingOutLater #GayMenStories #LiveAuthentic #gaylifecoaching #gaymen #gaypodcasts | |||
| Renewal and Resilience: How Life Coaching Can Transform the Lives of Older Gay Men | 15 Nov 2024 | 00:15:16 | |
Alan is an ICF-accredited Life Coach and CBT Practitioner who is on a mission. https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2318357 | |||